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Chapter Forty Seven

Tamlin

"How did the meeting go?" Lucien asked the second I stepped out into my mother's rose garden. His golden eye whirred, likely searching for hidden bruises. He touched his cheek. "You have dirt on your face and chicken grease on your shirt."

With a mere thought a sleeveless green tunic replaced the dirty shirt. "Not as well as I had hoped." I let loose a heavy breath. "We don't see eye to eye on how to go about making Prythian a better place to live for all Fae not just a chosen few."

"Maybe you just need to take some time and really consider the benefits of the changes he wants to make – for example, opening up trade with the humans could be good for us as well."

I slowly counted to ten, and when that didn't help, I worked my way up to twenty. "Trade with the humans wasn't what we disagreed about, Lord Protector." Hearing the title Rhysand had given him pass my lips, the color leeched from his skin. "If our friendship is going to last – and I sincerely hope it does, be truthful with me from now on. If I ask you something, even if you think it's not what I want to hear, give me the courtesy of an honest answer. Okay?"

"I can do that." He pushed up from the stone bench he'd perched on. "Is that what you disagreed about – the title?"

"If I thought for even a second that you truly wanted such a lofty title on a permanent basis, it would be yours, Lucien." I shrugged a shoulder. "That said, you enjoy the freedom of roaming too much and that is why being my emissary works for you." I bobbed my head at the path meandering through the rose garden, and started forward at a leisurely pace. "It's amazes me how much I took for granted simple pleasures like walking freely in my own garden – I never allowed myself to think about such things when I was married to Clarissa. I kept my mind in the present, setting a shield in place around every good memory so they would remain untouched by the cruelty inflicted upon me every single day."

"You really are okay – aren't you?"

"I think so." I cast a sidelong glance at him. "My shared dreams with Brie help more than you could ever imagine. When she's with me in my dreams, there are no nightmares – no terrible flashbacks to rip me from my sleep. It's strange that within a single dream it can feel as if days and weeks and months have passed – we built a world of our own within those beautiful dreams, and that more than anything is helping me to become whole again."

"I wish –"

"What do you wish for?" I said when his voice trailed off abruptly. "It's all right to want something for yourself, Lucien. Brie told me you haven't spent much time with Lilianna – I don't want to be the reason why you aren't where you truly want to be. You'll still be my best friend even if you are living on the other side of the Wall."

"I made a vow to myself and to you that I would be here to help you regain everything that you lost." He looked my way and a faint smile pulled at his lips. "I'll be the first to admit it hasn't been easy – juggling my personal life and the rebuilding of the Spring Court, but when I looked – I mean really took the time to survey the damage Hybern's forces did to your lands and the homes they didn't use to house their generals, it made my decision easy." He paused to take a deep breath, slowly exhaling. "Rhysand informed me that every family that moved to the Dawn Court will be arriving home soon – they need to see me at your side. They, along with every other family and sentry that has returned, need to hear me pledge my loyalty and friendship to you – the High Lord of the Spring Court."

I stopped beneath one of many rose arbors arching over the path that led to my mother's favorite section of the garden. When the time was right, I planned on bring Brie to this spot to ask her to marry me. "During my time at Clarissa's castle, I learned firsthand what every slave endures on a daily basis – there are children born and raised in slavery in Prythian. It needs to end, Lucien. I wanted to believe Rhysand would take up this fight with me – he made it clear that he won't. The thing is he believes himself to be a good male as he looks out over all the happy smiling faces of those who live Velaris, but how can he be a good male if he turns a blind-eye to over half the population of his Court? The same can be said for the other High Lords, and it's a shame – I'm ashamed that it took Clarissa's brutal treatment of me to gain the courage to speak out against the injustices perpetrated against the weakest of our collective people."

"You asked him to free the servants of the Hewn City." Raking a hand through his hair, he let out a heavy breath. "I can't imagine why that didn't go over well," he added sarcastically. "What did you expect, Tam? His family gave up on the Court of Nightmares a long time ago, and then they built good place to live for their people. He wants to hold onto that, and I don't blame him for it."

"I highly doubt you would feel that way if you were one of the servants living in the Hewn City," I gritted out, somewhat surprised he would defend Rhysand's callous disregard for the lives of the weakest of his people. "Your own mate has a strong, clear vision of a better world, and I seriously doubt that includes the enslavement of those who cannot defend themselves. When this war comes, and I promise you that it will, Lilianna will be firmly on the side of freedom for all."

"You have no allies," he pointed out, throwing his arms out wide in frustration. "You – we would lose…do you really want to see the Fae of your Court slaughtered by the rest of Prythian?"

"You don't know what it was like. I could share every memory of my time with Clarissa and her guards with you, and you still wouldn't have a glimmer of what it felt like to live your life as someone's property. It breaks you in ways you couldn't even fathom – breaks you in ways you didn't even think were possible and I swore to myself that if I ever regained my freedom, I would do something about it. So if I have to die, and chances are good that I will, it will be for something I truly believe in."

"If we are going to do this," he said after a weighty pause, "you will need to regain the full trust of your army. They were easily swayed by Feyre's subterfuge – that can't happen again. At one point they would have gladly given their lives for you, we need to remind them why they felt that way. And most importantly, they'll need to believe in this cause every bit as much as you do if not more."

"We?" I said with a lift of a brow. "Are you saying you'll –"

"I don't want to go to war – I don't, but you're not wrong. I witnessed firsthand how lesser faeries were treated within my father's Court – what they did to Jesminda…it never sat right with me that I ran away from my family and title after they brutally murdered her – they got away with it because to my father and everyone like him she was nothing – her life meant nothing. It was cowardly for me to run to your Court instead of staying and fighting against males like him and my brothers. That has always been my deepest regret, and maybe I am beginning to feel as if this war might be my chance to right that wrong and give her the justice she deserves."

"There are lessons learned in our failures," I said, scrubbing a hand down my face. "Would it be possible to bypass the High Lords entirely and turn the hearts and minds of their armies and citizens to our way of thinking on the matter?"

"You mean the way Feyre did when she returned to destroy the Spring Court," he said, precisely following my line of thought. "Feyre had time and the trust of the sentries from the onset making her task easier. Not to mention, she played the role of the docile victim to perfection." Tapping off each point he was making on his fingers, he lifted three fingers for me to see. "And let us not forget the power of a pretty face to sway any male into choosing the wrong path."

"What is the exact number of our military force?" I said as I set to walking again while he kept pace with me.

"Two hundred and thirty-four males," he said, brushing the hair out of his eyes. "A hundred and seventeen died in the Border Mountains along with seventy-two females and forty-three younglings."

"When the others return, we'll have a memorial for those who lost their lives in the mountains. Full honors – the bells will sound for each fallen male, and although it has never been done before, we will honor the females and younglings that died as well." I cast a glance in his direction, and my brows pulled together at his grim expression. "You don't agree?"

"The honoring of a fallen soldier is meant for those who lived and died protecting the Spring Court. I would not expect such an honor and neither would the sentries who fled when they should have stayed."

"I can't fault them for my own failure in not seeing Feyre as the threat she represented. They were causalities of the war with Hybern every bit as much as those males who died in battle – and we will honor them."

"I'll make the arrangements," he said with a curt nod.

XxXxXxXx

Lucien

After the conversation I had with Tamlin, I returned to Velaris once again to speak with Rhysand. Listening to him speak of his plans to liberate the slaves of Prythian, tore into an old, festering wound that had never quite healed, and I found myself wanting the future he spoke of, but freedom for all couldn't be achieved without a strong military force. Without allies, we wouldn't make it past the Autumn Court.

Feyre answered the door, looked me up and down then motioned for me to follow her into the dining room where Elain and Rhysand were seated at the table. She bobbed her head for me to take a seat opposite of Elain at the table, and as I sat a plate of roast beef and potatoes appeared in front of me.

"Has he changed his mind?" Rhysand said around a mouthful of roast beef, and Elian looked to me for an answer, concern evident in her golden brown eyes. Rhysand swallowed and washed the roast beef down with a gulp of wine. "I figured he informed you about our meeting, and I assured Feyre you would talk him out of this foolish endeavor of his."

"Actually," I said, pouring myself a glass of wine, "I agree with him and will fight alongside him to my death if that is what it takes to win this war."

"There is no war, Lucien," Feyre said, resting her hand atop Rhysand's. "Hybern's forces are gone – there is no threat, no enemy we need to ally against. Tamlin is a very troubled male, and you are not helping him by feeding into his insanity."

"What you just said – it sickens me," I said, looking from Rhysand to her. "When you make your obligatory trips to the Court of Nightmares, do you even look upon the faces of those who are tortured for the amusement of the crowd? Call them servants, call them anything you'd like if it makes you feel better about yourself, but the ugly truth is that by sitting there up on your thrones all smug and self-righteous, you are not only condoning the horrific treatment of weaker Fae – you are benefiting from it."

"That's enough," Rhysand growled, dishes rattling as the ground beneath our feet trembled. "You will not speak to the High Lady of –"

"I will speak freely and often on this topic, High Lord," I cut in knowing full-well there was no turning back now. "I failed to speak up before when I should have – when my father and brothers murdered the female I loved. She was low born and seen as not good enough – never good enough, and we, the glorious High Fae in our utter arrogance felt the need to crush them beneath our feet at every turn. I'm not foolish enough to believe we'll win this war." I sighed and shrugged a shoulder. "We will be cut down and left for dead in the battlefield to be picked apart by the birds, and I'm okay with that. What I'm not okay with is your refusal to see that the High Fae and High Lords of Prythian have never changed their ways, they simply found a new crop of slaves to replace the ones they freed."

"For as long as I've been alive," Elain spoke up as Rhysand and Feyre silently whispered to each other through their shared mate bond, "humans have hated and feared the Fae as a direct result of the slavery of our people. Do the lesser faeries feel the same way, Lucien?"

"If they weren't terrified to voice their hatred of us, I believe they would admit how much they loath us."

"I would like to hear what they have to say – to make up my own mind about the necessity of another war," she said, a faint smile of encouragement pulling at the corners of her lips. "We did not hate the Fae without good reason, Feyre, and I cannot in good conscience pretend his words have no merit. I, myself, have never traveled to the Hewn City, but I have seen how the two of you dress in darkness whenever you go there – how you become darkness personified, and I'm afraid that leads me to believe he speaks the truth about the horrors perpetrated beneath the Golden Jewel that is Velaris."

"If it is not everything I say it is and more then take her there to see for herself how wrong I am," I said, eliciting another ground-trembling growl from Rhysand.

"Even if I agreed that Tamlin isn't wrong about the horrid conditions the lesser faeries are forced to endure, it changes nothing," Rhysand said. "My own military force wouldn't fight to free the males and females that serve them. You would gain nothing by having us as your allies as we would be too busy battling our own Court – Velaris would fall, and I cannot allow that to happen no matter how sympathetic I may be to your cause…."

"If war comes to Prythian," Feyre said as Rhysand's voice trailed off, "we will remain neutral, and if we are called upon to help we will not send any aid to the other Courts if Tamlin's forces are prevailing. That is the most we can offer you at this time, Lucien."

"I will inform Cassian he is to stay in the Spring Court to train Tamlin's sentries to fight like Illyrian warriors," Rhysand added even though we both knew it wouldn't be enough to assure any victories. "I wish I could give you the answer you were hoping for when you made the trip here, but I have to think of my family and the Fae living in Velaris."

"And if we make it as far as Velaris – what then, High Lord?"

"You won't make it to Velaris," he said, and to his credit he didn't seem happy about our impending failure to win the war.

With a curt nod, I pushed back my chair and got to my feet. "For what it's worth, I understand your reasons for not choosing the right side in this matter, but it forces me to wonder if you'll be able to live with your decision once the war is over and the Spring Court and its people are only a memory."

Without waiting for either Feyre or Rhysand to respond, I turned on my heel, and strode to the front door, making it all the way to the gate before Elain called out to me. "I know it doesn't matter what I think," she said, running down the walkway to catch up to me, her dress swishing back and forth behind her, "but I believe you are on the right side in this ugliness, Lucien. To Feyre and Rhysand, I am nothing more than a pretty, empty-headed little girl who is content to while away my days in the garden. They've never once asked for my opinion on any relevant matter – I believe slavery in any form is wrong." She glanced over her shoulder at the townhouse then looked to me, eyes sparkling like amber jewels. "When this war comes, I don't want to be on the wrong side of it. I don't want to sit inside this townhouse while you are fighting on the battlefields for what I believe is a very worthy cause. Take me with you – I'm not foolish or brave enough to fight in any battles, but when the time comes I can tend to the wounded and bring comfort to the dying – take me with you, Lucien."

"Feyre and Rhysand would –"

"They've made their decision and I've made mine. Feyre is my sister and I love her dearly, but I can't – no, I refuse to allow her to keep making decisions about my life."

"Elain…." Feyre called out from the doorway, Rhysand coming up from behind her to wrap his arms around her stomach. "Your dinner's getting cold," she added to put an end to our conversation.

"Please, Lucien," Elian whispered, fingers lacing through mine. Her eyes locked on mine, and for the first time within their golden brown depths I saw the same kind of determination and strength that I had often witnessed in Feyre's eyes. "Please…."

Holding her gaze, I gave a subtle nod, and before Feyre or Rhysand realized what that small gesture meant, we winnowed away from Velaris.

XxXxXxXx

Rhysand

"Elain!" Feyre shouted, running to the end of the path leading to the gate. She whipped around and glared at me. "We have to go after them! Tamlin sent him here to kidnap her so we'll buckle to his demands – why are you just standing there?"

"You heard what she said – we both did," I said, closing the distance between us. "This was her choice, Feyre. You don't have to like it, but you do have to let her live her own life."

"No," she shook her head emphatically, "She is not like me or Nesta – she doesn't have the stomach for war and the sight of males with their stomachs sliced open, guts hanging out. This is not her fight, and I want you to bring her home. Now!"

"And if I do bring her back, then what? If this is really what she wants to do, she'll just find a way to leave again."

"We'll post guards to stay with her at all times until she gets this foolish notion out of her head."

"You can't keep her here against her will. She'll come to hate you for it."

"Don't do that," she snapped, backing away from me a step to look up into my eyes. "This is not even remotely similar to what Tamlin did to me. I'm trying to keep my sister safe from a war that will end up getting her killed."

"That is her choice to make, not yours or Nesta's." Framing her face in my hands, I brushed my lips against hers. Her head jerked backward and she slapped my hands away from her face. "You're angry, I get it. She acted impulsively and if we give her time she might realize she doesn't have the stomach for war and come home, but if we race after her and snatch her away from the Spring Court, we'll be doing more harm than good. She'll dig her heels in, fighting us every inch of the way. Let her go, Feyre."

"I can't." Lips pressed together, she shook her head again. "Of the three of us, she is the only one of us that is truly good, and I won't see her life snuffed out by a senseless war."

"It's not senseless," I said, earning myself another glare. "If I didn't have you or our family and the Fae of Velaris to think of, I would gladly take up arms for the complete and irrevocable freedom for all the people of Prythian. I fought to free the humans in the first war, and I believed with all my heart that it was a worthy cause – we freed them and the lesser faeries took their place. No one speaks of it – no one cares enough to mention that we as a people turned the weakest amongst us into slaves. We prettied up the name, calling them servants, but there isn't a night that goes by where someone isn't beaten bloody or raped. I'm sorry, Feyre, but in truth I am proud of your sister for taking a stand."

"She's not a warrior, Rhys," she reminded me, anger burning bright in her eyes. "You go into battles knowing what to expect and you're trained to fight off any enemy, the same cannot be said for Elian. For most of the war with Hybern she stayed hidden in a tent far away from the battlefield. You said it yourself – Tamlin's army will fall long before he reaches Velaris, and when that happens Elian will either be killed outright or she'll be delivered into the hands of his enemies."

"I won't let either of those things happen," I promised, pulling her into my embrace. "If his army falls, I will winnow in to save her before his enemies harm her. You have to trust me. I would never let anyone harm your family."

"I do trust you," she whispered, resting her head against my chest.

"Tamlin could send her back the moment he sees her," I murmured, kissing the top of her head. "He isn't any fonder of your sisters than you are of him."

"If he's smart, that's exactly what he'll do."

XxXxXxX

Tamlin

Brie and I had just finished dinner when Lucien strolled into the dining room with none other than Feyre's sister in tow. It took me several moments to recall which one she was, and then it came to me. Elain – the frightened doe-eyed sister Feyre and Nesta protectively fawned over. The female Lucien once believed to his mate, and the reason he abandoned the Spring Court to follow Feyre to the Night Court.

"Elian," Brie greeted with a warm smile, motioning for her and Lucien to take a seat at the table. Her eyes slid to me, and down our shared mate bond she whispered for me to smile before I frightened the poor girl to death. "It's nice to see you again."

"Are you out of your mind, Lucien?" I said as he settled into his seat, Elain taking the seat beside him. "Take her home now before someone realizes she missing."

"I'm not leaving," Elain said, cutting Lucien off as he opened his mouth to speak. "Lucien told me about your plan to free the slaves of Prythian – I want to help."

"It's a nice offer, but I'm afraid you're not the Illyrian warriors I was hoping for," I said, scrubbing a hand down my face. "Take her home, Lucien."

"Why do you want to help?" Brie said, encouraging her when everyone in the room knew Elain being here would end with Rhysand and Feyre storming into the manor to retrieve her.

"Slavery in any form is an evil that cannot be tolerated," she said, clearing her throat. "The war with Hybern was not my war, not like it was for the Fae of Prythian. Nesta and I, we were forced into that war and I had little to no say in any of it. But this war – this revolution is different, and I feel it deep down in my bones that I need to be a part of it." She glanced at Lucien for support and he bobbed his head for her to continue. "I'm not a warrior like my sister, I don't want to be, but I am a seer. If you let me stay – let me help your cause, I could use my gifts to guide you in battle."

"She was raised hearing the same stories about slavery in Prythian as I was," Brie said when Elian fell silent awaiting my decision. "The wrongness of it is deeply ingrained within us," she added and Elain nodded in agreement. "If this is really what you want to do, we would gladly accept any help you can give us."

Elain looked to me, the High Lord, for an answer. "If my High Lady believes you can be of service in this war then you already have your answer."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves." Lucien rested his forearms on the table and clasped his hands. "We're already talking about war when we haven't even tried to speak to the other High Lords yet. This doesn't have to end in war if they are open to the idea of change. Even my father fought in the war to end human slavery so he must have a shred of sympathy for those who suffer on a daily basis in the Autumn Court."

"Your father's Court is one of the worst offenders when it comes to the treatment of the lesser faeries," I reminded him. "And Eris will be no different when he becomes High Lord some day. They believe it is their Cauldron given right to rule with harsh cruelty – how many Fae die from beatings in his Court each year?"

"I wouldn't know the exact number," he said, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "I haven't lived there in a long time, but I would estimate the number to be relatively high."

"And the Court of Nightmares – how many Fae are slaughtered weekly for entertainment purposes?" I added to prove my point, and Elian gasped at the thought of what went on below Velaris.

"I couldn't say as I've never been there." He shrugged a shoulder. "I get your point, Tam, but we still have to try to give them a chance to change on their own. Through the art of diplomacy we could change the lives of many Fae without the need for war. We will not back down, I promise you that, but if we can avoid war while still freeing every Fae in Prythian, I think we should give it a shot."

"I asked Rhysand to free the weakest of Fae living within the Hewn City and he refused," I said, lifting my glass to take a long swallow of wine. "Out of all of them, I would have considered him the most likely to agree to put an end to slavery – I understand his reasoning, I really do, but it doesn't diminish the fact that if he can't be swayed into making this change for the better than no other High Lord will."

"Lucien has a valid point," Brie spoke up, looking to me before she continued. "We should do everything within our power to avoid war, making the use of military force as a last resort after all efforts of diplomacy has failed. Until that point comes we lead by example, showing Prythian that just like our own Court they can survive without the use of slave labor."

"Do you agree as well, Elian?" I said, taking into consideration what both Lucien and Brie had to say on the matter.

"I don't like war – the utter brutality of it and the terrible loss of lives," she said after a lengthy pause likely surprised I asked her opinion on the matter at hand. "I stayed at the war camps during the battles with Hybern, and saw for myself the utter devastation each battle brought to our forces. The air was so heavy with blood, I could taste it on my mouth, and at night I heard the males crying out as healers worked tireless to stitch together horrible wounds. It is not a pleasant thing – war, but sometimes it is absolutely necessary to right the inexcusable wrongs that have been committed against humanity. If Rhysand will not agree to fight for this worthy cause – if Feyre will not speak out against slavery then I do not see how anyone else will listen to what we have to say…yet, with that being said, I feel as if we must give them the opportunity to change the way they run their Courts."

"All right." I gave a curt nod. "Although I don't feel as if it will do any good, we will exhaust every effort to avoid going to war." Swallowing down the rest of my wine, I set the glass on the table. "The first thing we need to do is make the lesser faeries aware of our stance on the cruel and brutal treatment they have endure – they are not alone in this struggle any longer. The Spring Court will open its borders to any Fae fleeing his or her master and grant them sanctuary."

"Even if their lives are in imminent danger, they won't come to the Spring Court," Lucien said, letting loose a heavy breath. "Feyre and the Fae of your own Court did their job of tarnishing your name and reputation too well for anyone to think of you of a friend. They would likely consider it a trap."

"Any suggestions on how to remedy that situation?"

Having no better idea on how to prove to everyone that I wasn't a crazed beast than I did, the three of them sat in mute silence. Then Elain cleared her throat again. "After the war with Hybern, it is well known that I am Feyre's sister – If I were to accompany your entourage to each Court, wouldn't it force the people to consider the possibility that the rumors spread about you were false?"

"I can't let you do that. Your sister would be furious if I –"

"I remember, Tamlin," she cut in, sitting forward in her seat. "The day Feyre and Azriel rescued me from Hybern's camp – I clearly recall the beautiful scent of new grass and lilacs on the powerful wind that lifted Feyre into the air. If not for that strangely intoxicating wind, she wouldn't have made it – that was you. And it was also you who fought all those creatures by yourself so we could escape. In truth, when you went over the cliff and vanished, I thought you'd winnowed to your death. Feyre never spoke of it to anyone, well, maybe she told Rhysand. I don't know her reasons for keeping it to herself, but if not for you we would not have made it. Not one of us. You save us – but from what I've gathered, that's nothing new for you. You killed Amarantha, ending her reign of terror, and that in and of itself should have earned you the love and respect of all Prythian, it didn't. Then you saved your enemy, giving him a kernel of your life force, and asked for nothing in return. Instead you told Feyre to be happy." The color draining from her face, she shook head. "Jurian shot an arrow into Azriel's chest and all was forgiven like it never happened because he was deceiving Hybern – playing spy." Having spent time living with Jurian, Lucien flinched at the sudden venom in her tone. "Azriel could have died – Cassian as well, and it took no more than two seconds for them to embrace him as an ally. I could never understand why him and not you. You did more to protect Feyre than he ever did – but even if she can't find it within herself to be grateful to you, I want to repay the debt she and Rhysand owe you."

"That was quite a mouthful for someone who normally lets her sisters speak for her," I said and Lucien smirked. "I'll think over your offer and let you know my answer within the next few days."

We talked a while longer and it surprised me how much Elain had to say on the matter of slavery. She was definitely not the same female I encountered that first night when I stormed into the dilapidated cottage where her and her sisters and father lived, and soon enough I forgot all the reasons why I should be on my guard around her and actually enjoyed the conversation. Now that they had decided to be friends, Lucien did as well, and the four of us talked late into the night.

Brie joined me in our shared dream again that night, and in that world of our own making, she soothed and healed my mind, leaving me feeling almost normal by the time I woke the following morning. I didn't try to fool myself into believing the nightmares wouldn't find me if she wasn't there waiting for me. I knew it would take a long time to rid myself of them completely, but at least now each day held the promise of never being parted from her again.

Feyre showed up when I was alone in the rose garden after lunch. Although I fully expected her arrival, the sound of her voice as she said my name set me on edge. I turned in my seat near the water fountain, and shielding my eyes with my hand, I looked up at her. "Make her go home, Tamlin," she said, dispensing with pleasantries. "She doesn't belong here. You know that as well as I do."

"For someone who doesn't belong here, she seemed quite comfortable and – chatty last night," I said, earning myself a glare from her. "For some strange reason, I always thought she was mute." I waved a hand dismissively. "She doesn't hate me, Feyre – she never did. In fact, she even thanked me for restoring your family's fortune after her third cup of wine. It feels nice to be appreciated."

"What do you want in exchange for sending her back to Velaris?" she said, chomping at the bit to tell me to go to hell.

"I'm afraid I can't do that," I said with an exaggerated sigh. "I thought you of all people would realize you can't force someone to do something they don't want to do. It could end badly for me."

"You need an army to fight your war for you," she lifted a brow, "force her to leave and I will give you an army."

Scratching my jaw, I pretended to consider her offer. "Thanks for the offer, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to pass on it. Your sister wants to be a part of this cause – she made that very clear last night. I would rather have one person who truly believes in what I am trying to do than an entire army of males who show up because they're paid to be there."

"Do you want me to apologize?" Her hands balled into tight fists. "Is that it? Do you want me to ask for forgiveness for destroying your Court? If that's what it takes, then I'm sorry, Tamlin."

"Why do you hate me so damn much?" I said with a weary sigh, tired of dancing around the subject. "Doesn't it ever grow tiresome? I used to think it was just because you were a cold hearted bitch, but you've taken hatred to a whole new level." I knew where her true anger burned the deepest. It wasn't that hard to figure out and yet it still took me years piece it together. "Yes, I failed to save Rhysand's mother and sister, but he didn't save my mother either. I found her dead in her bedroom – torn apart, insides spilling out on the bed, her face carved up with so many knife wounds, I didn't even recognize her…he didn't save her. I spent the night sewing up her body and washing up her blood off the marble floor. Do you have any idea how much blood is in the body," I jabbed a finger into my chest, "I do because every ounce of her blood was either soaked into the mattress and blankets or on the floor." Blinking hard against the tears blurring my vision, I pushed to my feet. "I lost my family, too, and just like Rhysand, I adored my mother. He knew what his father had done, he saw the viciousness of the attack with his own eyes, but instead of facing me, he ran. I know to you his mother and sister's lives were more important than my mother's life – they weren't. I loved her, and at the time she was the most important person in my life and she was gone."

"I-I'm sorry for your loss," she whispered, and she actually sounded like she meant it. "I knew Rhysand's father murdered your mother, but I didn't know how bad it was." Within a breath the glimmer of compassion I saw in her eyes vanished, hardening with bitter resolve. "My son – my children will never get the chance to know their grandmother or aunt because of your family."

"Neither will mine!" I gritted out, throwing my arms out wide to make myself an easier target for her. "At least I can say I was beaten unconscious and tied up when his mother and sister were murdered while the best excuse he can come up with his that his father promised not to harm my mother – I killed his father in front of his eyes and he ran away. Does that really sound like the actions of a male who believed to his marrow that I had anything to do with his mother and sister's deaths? Would he keep me alive if he really believed to the marrow of his being that I not only told my father where his mother and sister would be, but also joined them in cutting off their heads and wings? No, he knew in his heart what the truth was and what was going to happen when they broke into the manor. That's why he busied himself with the killing of my brothers, leaving the dirty work of murdering my mother to his father." My eyes narrowed on her, and my arms dropped loosely to my sides. "Let it go, Feyre. Your anger – your hatred of me, it's eating you up inside and the truth is that the only person it's harming is you. I've moved on." I waved a hand around then hitched a thumb over my shoulder in the direction of the manor, "I have everything I ever want or need inside that house, and I refuse to waste one more breath arguing with you."

"This war you are instigating," she said as I turned to walk away, "it will be the death of everyone and everything you love, Tamlin. But you will survive – yes, you will. You have to in order to perform your duty at Calanmai. Prythian will flourish while you waste away alone, unloved and forgotten for the rest of your very long life. So if I were you, I would think long and hard before I declared war on all of Prythian."

"Maybe you're right." Turning back to face her, I straightened to my full height and squared my shoulders. "But I would rather believe that there will come a day when your mate's conscience gets the better of him and he will fight alongside me – when that days comes, Feyre, I promise you we will not lose. He is, after all, the most powerful High Lord ever created….