Chapter 33

Okay. So here's my confession. I loved the 80's. I mean, over the top, ridiculous, gaudy. Sure. But fashion sort of gave convention the finger in the 80's and I liked that kind of rebellious shit.

After my meltdown over Alice's secret, and my own sort of freak out over a few missed pills, I left Edward in his room and went in search of his mom.

It wasn't hard to find her, honestly. She was always in the kitchen.

And let me tell you, when I asked if I could see her wedding dress, her face gave me all the answers I needed. It meant so much to her, and honestly, Alice was a bitch about it. She wouldn't wear that dress if it meant she could marry the next president of the United States.

Spoiled brat.

She grabbed my hand, dragged me through the house and into the garage where she flipped the lights, bypassed her Chrysler, and went off into a corner nook at the very back.

With a huff, and a drag, she pulled out a huge moving box. The size of a freaking dishwasher. After she pulled off a bunch of old, crummy duct tape, she took a shuddering breath and turned around and grabbed my hand with tears in her eyes.

"Come on. Come see."

Not going to lie—the box threw me off. I mean, how fucking big was this dress. I was absolutely going to murder stupid Alice. That little whore bag. Her mom had kept this enormous dress as a keepsake. Because it meant the world to her.

She started lifting, and all I could see was mounds and mounds of white lace. A lot of it. I was having second thoughts out the ying-yang.

Until she hooked the hanger to a nail hanging from a wooden loft above her and the dress gave shape.

Remember when I'd told Edward I didn't want a princess dress? I totally lied. Secretly, I imagined one of those. I didn't have to have one, but if I was being real, I wanted one.

And yes, I'd most likely fall and break my ass. But I'd look pretty doing it.

So once we laughed and cried, and she cried some more, we headed back in the house where she made an appointment with a friend of hers who was a seamstress so we could have the dress altered.

And have a veil made.

Because as gorgeous as the dress was, the freaking veil was attached to the ugliest satin floppy hat—adorn with fucking feathers (FEATHERS!) and that wasn't happening.

It looked like a swan had fallen from the sky to croak on a hat. It was flat-out no for me.

She agreed, having told me all about how swanky it was back in the day, but how awful it was now.

No feelings hurt at all.

I'd made the woman's day, and it didn't hurt that I scored about a billion daughter-in-law points. So, there was that.

And just like that, the wedding was back on. But I'd made it clear I wanted everything toned down. I didn't do well under pressure, and Esme got that. She only wanted me to have the wedding of my dreams. And she wanted to help make it happen.

It was well past dinner time when Edward and his brother finally made it back to the house. I'd sent a million text messages, but he'd only told me they were handling something and would be back later.

Be back later.

Not much longer.

Eat without us. We'll grab something.

Don't worry. We're fine.

Be there soon.

Carl, Esme, and I had dinner. I washed dishes and helped Esme make a chocolate pie afterward, and then the three of us settled in the family room to watch television. Esme talked about the dress—which Carl helped bring in the house for us—and Carl kept sending me tiny winks as she made plans.

He was happy she was happy. And happy I'd done that.

Sitting there with them, listening to Esme ramble on about how much it meant to see her son marry me, and seeing Carl's tender glances and nods while he half listened between watching his crime program on the TV felt so good I never wanted it to end.

And the best feeling, the one that made my heart well up so full I could barely breath was that it never would. They were my family. This was mine. Something I'd wanted, imagined, freaking dreamed of, was right here.

My mother wanted a fucking spectacle. She wanted an event, some fancy show-off for her to wave her hand around and act like she'd had any affect on my life at all.

She didn't care if I had the wedding of my dreams. She didn't care that sitting in that family room with the Cullen's was the happiest place I'd ever spent time. She didn't care at all.

Just like that, I realized I needed to let it go. All the anger and resentment and guilt. My mom was never going to change. She would push and push and then storm in and fuck something up. And then apologize that way she did—acting like it wasn't her fault, but she was sorry someone else made her act the way she had.

It was always her. She was a selfish, miserable woman.

I relaxed against the cushions I had on the floor and leaned on the palm of my hand to watch the show, letting the comfort settle over me.

And then all hell broke loose ten minutes later when Edward and his brother stormed into the house.

"Fucking hell," Carl groaned. He pushed out of his easy chair and headed toward them, grabbing Jasper's hands. "Am I gonna get a phone call about this shit?"

I sat up on my knees, jaw on the floor and waited for someone to tell me what in the world was going on.

Jasper shook out his hand and grinned over at his dad. "Nah. He won't say shit. Trust me."

I gasped and glared at Edward. "You didn't!"

"I didn't do anything," Edward said. "He did."

I glared harder. What a crock of shit. "You promised you wouldn't say anything. Now he knows?"

"Wait!" Esme ordered. "What is going on. And do not say nothing."

"They beat up Alice's boss!" I told her. "I told Edward this was going to happen. I can't keep secrets!"

Esme took a deep breath, turned to Carl, and then pointed toward the stairs. "Go see to his hand. I'll get to the bottom of this."

Oh boy.

Edward ran his hand through his hair and then fisted both hands on his neck as he paced the room. He looked stressed, and under any other circumstances, I would have wanted to go to him, comfort him.

Not at that moment. I wanted to punch him in the nuts. I would never had imagined he would go out like a thug and approach this guy. It wasn't like him, but then again, this was his baby sister.

I don't know. It was too much.

"Is this because of Alice's pregnancy?" Esme asked.

Both Edward and I swung our gaze to her. She'd taken her seat on the sofa again and crossed her legs. Her face was calm, but there was worry in her eyes.

"Why would you say that?" I asked.

"Yes," Edward said at the same time.

"So the baby's father is Felix." She sighed and shook her head. "When did she find out?"

I gaped at her, and then at Edward. Was she a fucking wizard?

"I overheard the two of you talking. I was putting towels away upstairs."

I scowled. "You knew and didn't say anything all day?"

"Sweetheart, I wanted you to relax and enjoy your moment. Alice took it from you once today. I wouldn't allow it twice. She can be selfish, and although this is an extreme situation, your wedding is a beautiful time in your life. It'll only happen once. Her problems are not on you and Edward. She got herself into this mess, and she'll have to figure out how to get out of it. Or through it."

Well, damn. When she put it that way, I couldn't disagree. I mean, I'd kind of felt like Alice was a little spoiled brat anyway, so her mother's confirmation made me feel better.

"This is rough, though. I understand why she's so upset. I thought her attitude toward me was because of me. I wanted to make things smooth, you know?"

She smiled at me. "Oh, I know."

"You know I had to face that prick in person. I'm only here one more day, and I won't have any time for shit tomorrow. I have to meet with the coaches at the hotel at six in the morning, and then we're conditioning at the arena by ten before the game. Then I'm on a plane back to Washington the second that fucking game is over."

"I know, son. But did you have to tell Jasper?"

He laughed and held up his hands. "My hands are money, ma. I break my hand, and I'm fucked. The only thing Jasper has to deal with is jerking off with his left hand for about a week."

"Edward," I hissed.

But Esme laughed. Laughed!

"He needed to blow off some steam. Good for him." And then she leaned forward. "And what did that little pissant have to say about Alice?"

I guess there was no love lost on Felix for any of the Cullens. Well, except for Alice, obviously. She seemed to like him all right.

Edward crouched down on the floor next to me, nudging me to sit in his lap and wrapping his arms around me. He kissed the top of my head and I know he was hoping to chill me out. But I was pissssssed. And I was going to stay pissed.

"Don't be mad."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "You should go grab some food. Your mom put a plate in the microwave for you. You have to be up early tomorrow, remember?"

"I know." He kissed the top of my head again and then spoke to his mom. "I made it clear there is no way he's keeping this shit from his wife. He fucked up, and he's going to face it. With Alice, and with his family. He says he's separated, but I don't care. I don't know if it's a lie, or what, but I wanted to make sure he knew he wasn't going to bully Alice. She's going to have enough to deal with."

Esme's lips pressed together in a line and she looked torn. God, how do you even deal with something like this? And this poor woman had just gone through all the crap with Garrett.

"I'm going to go upstairs and get ready for bed," I said, pushing off the floor. "Thank you for today, Esme. I'll be ready to go tomorrow morning for the fitting."

I ignored Edward and headed upstairs, peeled out of my clothes and settled into bed in my warm pajamas. I took out a notebook I'd picked up at the hotel a few days ago and started jotting down some notes.

After I'd finished with the dress details with Esme, I called Rosalie. The truth of it all was that I had all kinds of anxiety not being able to have her around. I needed her to be a part of the wedding. Plain and simple, she was my family. She was a part of me I couldn't disconnect.

I couldn't imagine getting married without her. It wouldn't be the wedding of my dreams. I wanted all the people important to me there. And with her on bedrest, it was eating at me.

I couldn't get married in Chicago if she couldn't be there.

After she screamed at me about how ridiculous it was, she finally let up and understood. She was important and she admitted she'd be crushed if she couldn't watch me walk down the aisle.

Once that was settled, she talked me through flowers and invites and receptions. We brainstormed through a million ideas, and at the end of the call, I felt a wave of relief wash over me.

And then I asked to talk to Emmett.

I'd been so nervous to ask him to walk me down the aisle. Would he think it was weird? Be insulted? Think I was crazy?

No. None of those. The big man cried. Said he would be honored and that he would have been bummed if I hadn't asked.

So there we were.

My little substitute mom and dad had wiped away about two months of anxiety in an hour and a half phone call.

When I hung up, I had Esme take pictures of me in her dress and I shot them off to Rosalie so I could get her opinion. I had already made the decision to wear the dress because I truly did love it. But having her gush about it and shoot ideas about how to tweak and adjust it to me sealed the deal with super glue.

I'd been waiting all evening for Edward to get back from wherever the hell he'd gone to tell him about all of it. Especially after my mini meltdown. And then he'd gone and acted like a freaking street thug.

And I was pissed.

I stabbed the page with my pen, growling, and then shut the book and tossed it in the middle of the bed before dropping to the pillow. I was glad Esme had upgraded Edward's old twin bed for a full size because there would be no touchy-feely bullshit going on up in that bed.

Not ten minutes later, Edward came into the room. I kept my eyes shut, but he knew I wasn't asleep. He went about stripping out of his clothes and slid into bed without a word.

He pulled me back against his chest and rested his head on my shoulder.

"It was stupid, and I'm sorry. I had to do something though. My conscience wouldn't let me let it go."

"I get it," I lied.

"You don't."

I rolled over and faced him. "No, I really don't. I mean, Garrett brought some tramp to dinner and everyone was like, whatever. Alice is a grown ass woman. She fucked a married dude and got knocked up. Seems to me, she's the idiot. He's a jerk, yeah, but she's not blameless."

"But there's history with that guy."

I huffed. "There was history with Victoria, too."

He winced. "Touche."

"Ugh," I groaned and pushed him off me. "Don't say touche. It's such a stupid thing to say. It's not touche. It's the truth. Just tell me you were a dick and your sorry and then I'll tell you about my day. Fair?"

He smirked and grabbed my waist and hoisted me back against him. "I was a dick. I'm sorry."

I flicked his chest and then sat up so I could tell him my plans.

"There have been a change of plans. I'm wearing your mom's dress, and it's awesome. And we're getting married in Seattle. I have to have Rosalie at my wedding. It's non-negotiable. She can't travel, and everyone here can. You have a buttload of money, so you can ship everyone to Seattle."

His smile widened and he pulled me down and pressed his lips against mine. "I love it when you show how big your balls are. I love this idea."

"Yeah?"

It wasn't like I expected him to argue—he had basically given me the reigns from the get go, but he was being mighty agreeable.

"Yeah, Bella. I told you—all I want is you. The wedding is something I know you want but you've been worried about what everyone else wanted and hadn't allowed yourself to just do what you wanted. This is once in a lifetime, babe. I want you to have it all."

"You sure know how to get me out of being mad at you."

"You love me, you can't stay mad."

"I know how you can make it up to me," I said, wiggling against his leg. "And since I won't see you for a few days, you could leave a lasting impression."

In an instant, I was flipped onto my back, and he had slid down my body to leave that lasting impression.

And as always, I was impressed.

As always, I appreciate all of you who take the time to read and review!

Hugs!

XO JAMI