AN: Yay, finally a new chapter! ^^ I'm truly sorry that I couldn't finish this as announced in November. But my daughter decided to come a little earlier than expected, throwing off many of our plans... We're both doing fine though. :)

This chapter... Is, for the most part, self-indulgent fluff. I hope you won't mind. ;) But there's also another bit, one I know many of you have been waiting for since forever. ;) The title comes, again, from an Imagine Dragons song, 'I'll make it up to you' this time. It's a rather fitting song for Hiccup right now, don't you think?

***Shoutouts***

A big Thank You to everyone who commented during the past months and for the well-wishes for my pregnancy/giving birth.

To Raider7997: Don't worry, I didn't take your comment the wrong way. ;) I can't say much else, though ;)

To Vivi-ntvg: You don't trust me? And you think there's so much that could go wrong?
Oh, no, how could you? O:)

To PermanentGuest: County Ravenledge got mentioned before every now and then. That its biggest city got burned to the ground and that the people were exploited by their previous leader, for example. Back then, Hiccup already mused about how this County could be a solution. But after the trial of the former Count Ravenledge (19: Chapter 17), the county was given to someone else, so up until now, they didn't think of it again.

To nandjferon: "let them struggle together but not alone please." I like this sentiment. ;)

To tom80: your Pokemon reference made me laugh harder than it probably should! xD

To BrawlerGamer: I think, this part in the previous chapter was a bit misleading. So far, the County hadn't been meant to be a trap and there is nobody specific the older men are targeting. It was more them talking possibilities.

To Spectre: ... I'll take that as a compliment. xD

To Ara Jung: Perdona que haya tardado tanto. ^^"

To vampireacademygirls: I don't know when you'll reach this part, but yes... Hiccup's full backstory isn't far anymore. O:)

To Jelmergu: First, a big Thank you for your comment. It came at a most welcome point in time. Now to your points... It's more 2,5 weeks since Daniel found out, but other than that, you're right. His letter should have arrived by now... And no, he doesn't know about Eret and Dagur.

To Funnybombninja: Thank you for your comment, it made me very happy. ^^

. o O o .

Chapter 46: I'll Make It Up To You

After their long discussion about how County Ravenledge could be claimed and improved, Astrid and the others having left, Hiccup was left with a chaotic whirlwind of emotions.

On the one hand, he was excited and elated by this apparently simple and direct solution to their problems. They had a plan, and if everything worked out, there was nothing in the way of him and Astrid being together. It would be a difficult path to follow, for sure, with the overwhelming prospect of ruling an entire county of people whose culture and customs he hardly knew. It was more than a bit intimidating, the more he thought about it, especially given the conditions of the place. But if that was what the Gods demanded of him, then he would do it.

But on the other hand... he was anxious, so much so that his hands wouldn't stop clenching nervously, no matter what he did to distract himself. Eret, Dagur, and even Astrid seemed convinced that Grand Duke Oswald and the King would agree to give him the title without much resistance, but in the privacy of his own thoughts, he wasn't so sure about that. Those powerful men knew about his life, knew enough to know how much of a failure he was, in pretty much every aspect. Why would they agree to support him so openly?

It wasn't as if they could win anything out of this, could they?

Later, as he helped Eret get out of the elaborate and dust-and-sweat-fouled day-clothes he was wearing, he couldn't keep from asking the question which had buzzed in his mind like a bee. "Why are you doing all this for us?"

With a pained groan, Eret laid back on his bed as Hiccup brought the bowl of warm water over from the hearth. It was essential to keep the wound on Eret's chest as clean as possible, and since it was difficult for Eret to do so himself, it was Hiccup's responsibility to help him. "What do you mean?" he replied, sounding puzzled and tired after a long exhausting day.

"Everything," Hiccup said after a short pause, shrugging. "I understand that you care for Astrid and want to see her happy. But all this goes far beyond that. Supporting me in this… You know as well as I do how that could backfire and weaken you, politically I mean. So… why?"

The plan was that Astrid, Dagur, and Eret would speak with their fathers in the morning, during or possibly even before their common breakfast. It made sense, of course; it was better to wait until then instead of approaching them now in the middle of the night and dealing with them while they were grumpy. They'd talked for a long while and by now, half the castle had to be asleep already. But waiting until the morning to get the confirmation was hard. And even though Hiccup knew that Eret might have his own reasons for supporting him, reasons that wouldn't necessarily convince the most powerful men and leaders of the Kingdom, he still hoped that his answer would ease his mind at least a little bit.

Eret chuckled, interrupted by the occasional wince as Hiccup cleaned the area around the cut on his chest. "Two reasons," he eventually replied. "First: I know you. And I trust you. We trust you. You're a good man, Hiccup, honest, reliable, and diligent. You're going to be a good leader to those battered people. As Dagur said, it'll take time. But I'm sure that, under your leadership, County Ravenledge and its people can thrive again. So supporting you is definitely not a waste of time or effort. It's for the good of the people, and that's what our main interest should be, right?"

Hiccup nodded, inwardly hoping that he could live up to this trust, these expectations. "And… the second reason?" he asked cautiously.

Eret sighed, his eyes falling closed. "The second reason is that we know only too well how it is to love without hope. Dag and I… we knew right from the start that our love had no future. We were prepared. But even though we always knew our time would be limited… Actually having it come to an end with the wedding just… just hurt! And even though we've got a reprieve of some sort now, we know it'll end someday. Just thinking about it is driving me insane." He paused and took a deep breath before letting it out again. "For you, it's different though… for you, there's hope. It might be a slim hope and the road to reach it will be hard, but it's possible. So we want to help you in whatever way we can, simply because that is something we can do."

Hiccup nodded again, putting the water away and handing Eret a piece of cloth to dry himself up. "Thank you," he murmured. It was far too little to convey the gratitude he felt, but it was all he could come up with.

However, it seemed to be enough for Eret. "Anytime," he replied in a light voice. "But now, you better leave. Tuff should be here any minute now. And I want to say 'Have a good night', but... but I'd rather it not get too good if you know what I mean, so…"

Hiccup was incredibly glad that he wasn't facing Eret at the moment, that he wouldn't notice the blush on his face. "Don't worry," he mumbled awkwardly. "I won't risk losing her again."

He hadn't meant to say those last words out loud; they'd slipped off his lips before he'd been able to think about it. And, as expected, there was a confused frown on his cousin's face when he turned back to face him. But since he didn't ask, Hiccup didn't feel obliged to explain himself and quickly changed the topic. "Is there anything else you need? Before I leave, I mean?"

Still frowning, Eret shook his head, so Hiccup quickly bid him good night and left the elaborate bedchamber.

Once the door closed behind him, Hiccup exhaled deeply. Eret's brief explanation had soothed him, but only a little. His reasons were understandable enough, and Hiccup wanted to believe that, if the situation was reversed, he and Astrid would also do whatever they could to make it possible for Eret and Dagur to stay together. And as for the other reason… He could only hope that Eret was right and that he would be able to provide a better life for the people of Ravenledge one day.

If he even got the chance to try.

He'd been right, Eret hadn't been able to provide him with the answer he longed for, but at least his words had settled his anxiety to a bearable level. But that helped to ease his chaotic emotions only so much. Because the excitement and anxiety over their plan had only been part of his emotional turmoil. The question about what the months and years to come would bring them was certainly important, but right now, the more immediate future was a little more pressing to him.

He'd promised Eret that there was no reason to be worried and he was dead set on keeping this promise, to Eret and to himself alike. But there were more facets to that promise than Eret thought.

Sticking to what Eret was concerned about and not having sex with Astrid until they were truly married wouldn't be a problem. They'd managed relatively well so far, and the prospect of not having to wait two more years but only a couple of weeks would make holding out even easier. Theoretically, at least.

Practically though, just thinking about tonight – and if it worked as planned the following nights as well – made his entire body tingle in anticipation. Hours of being alone with Astrid, of being free to kiss and to hold her... Gods, how he missed feeling her soft body against his own, his hands exploring her, tasting her lips and her skin, listening to–

With a low groan, he shook his head, chasing those thoughts away. He couldn't– no, mustn't indulge in those fantasies! "Just a few weeks," he reminded himself in a low whisper, biting his lip in the hope that the pain might help him focus. He had no confirmation of his fears on this matter, no certainty that their getting intimate before had somehow caused their separation. But he also couldn't shake off the suspicion that that might have been the reason, that his overconfidence had angered the Gods and the temporary separation had been a warning. And he wouldn't risk losing her again! Even if it meant going weeks or maybe even months without touching her like he wanted to – he would take that unresolved longing over possibly losing her forever at any time. He just hoped Astrid would understand his reticence.

Because on top of everything else, there was one other aspect that might make keeping his promise to Eret a little more complicated. Knowing Astrid, Hiccup suspected that she was going to disagree with him on this point, but he just knew that it was his fault she'd been through so much pain during the past weeks. If he hadn't been so stupid, hadn't given up too soon, hadn't given in to his longing for her in the first place…

Sighing, he shook his head. No matter how much he wished it were otherwise, he couldn't undo the past. But he was going to do everything to keep any more pain away from her from now on. And furthermore, it meant that he'd do everything she asked for, that he would follow her every wish. To make it up to her.

He was aware of the possible contradiction of these two urges, and his thoughts were still running in circles when Tuff appeared behind one of the elaborate tapestries a little while later. Hiccup rose as he silently beckoned him to follow. Just as Ruff had said, the passage was narrow and clearly didn't get used regularly, with dust and cobwebs everywhere. But Hiccup didn't pay much attention to the condition of the space, nervousness and anticipation settling in his stomach. At the end of this walk, he would see her again, be alone with her. And while he was unquestionably looking forward to it, his breath coming fast and even his bad leg moving without complaint in the cramped passageway, there was the point that, as so often before, the night would be a tough balancing act between what he wanted to do and what he had to do.

. o O o .

Agitatedly chewing on her lower lip, Astrid sat at the edge of her bed, her eyes glued to the door. Any minute now, Ruff would lead Hiccup in here. It wouldn't be long anymore, she knew that. But still, every single second of waiting felt like an eternity.

Gods, she was such a mess.

Ever since she'd overheard the Grand Dukes' conversation earlier that day, all her thoughts had circled around County Ravenledge and how this could be the solution to their problem. But now that she'd presented this idea to Hiccup and their friends and they'd agreed on a plan, practical reality was catching up with her again.

She and Hiccup would spend the entire night together, and in contrast to that night after the ball where she'd fallen asleep in his arms, this time they wouldn't be too exhausted to do… whatever they wanted to do. The thought made her heart beat faster and she balled her hands into fists to keep them from trembling, crumpling the blanket and her nightgown in the process. Gods, why was she so nervous? This wasn't the first night she spent alone with him, after all.

But no, she wasn't nervous. She was excited. And it was because she'd been with Hiccup before that she was so looking forward to this, couldn't wait for him to finally be here.

What would the night bring?

Would this night be a loving reunion after these painful weeks, with slow caresses and exploring each other anew? She could picture it, softly entangled between the sheets of her bed, celebrating their love until the sun rose again.

Or would they jump right back to how it had been before, heated passionate kisses without preamble? She wouldn't mind that either. Oh, how she longed for his touch and to feel again the exhilaration only he could bring her.

But maybe… maybe they would continue where they'd stopped more directly. If Hiccup remembered to bring that pot of scented oil, then… She sucked in a quick breath and bit down on her already slightly swollen lip to keep herself from moaning. All too well she remembered how it had felt to have his fingers inside her. Would he insist on preparing her again for tomorrow night or could they… jump right in? Heat rose to her cheeks, and she wondered whether she could manage to stay a little quieter or what Ruff and Tuff would say in the morning.

Although… there also was another option. Not that she expected this night to go that way, no certainly not. But maybe… it was a possibility, wasn't it? Now that the solution for their problem was within reach, maybe they could even go a step further. They would be married in a few weeks – she vehemently refused to entertain the possibility that it could be otherwise. The date for her wedding was set, irrevocably. Nothing would delay or prevent that, her father had made that clear. Was that also true if an inspection by one of Freya's Gythias revealed that her maidenhead was broken already? That could have happened at any time, during that accident on the ride for example. Or when she vowed to Fyrir Gothi herself that she'd never been intimate with anyone but Hiccup, her husband-to-be? That could work, couldn't it? Nobody would want to risk a scandal, after all. So even if she fell pregnant tonight… that wouldn't really matter, would it?

Astrid's blood was boiling hotter and her throat went dry at that idea, her vision becoming a little blurry. Gods, why wasn't Hiccup here already?

In the next moment, she nearly fell off her bed, her heart jumping into her throat and beating furiously, when a knock came from the door. Hastily, she scrambled to her feet, bare on the plush carpet, and called for Ruff to come in.

"Tuff brought something for you," Ruff announced, smirking when she noticed Astrid's state, and stepped aside to allow Hiccup behind her to enter. "I'd say I wish you a good night… but–"

"But I'd like to sleep for once," came Tuff's voice from somewhere behind her. It made Astrid blush even harder.

Snickering, Ruff shrugged. "There you go. See you two in the morning." And with those words, she left, pulling the door closed behind her – and leaving Astrid and Hiccup alone in her bedroom.

A heavy silence fell over them, only interrupted by their audible breathing. This was truly happening. Hiccup was here, in her bedroom! A place where – except for the occasional exception of a healer or her actual brother – nobody but Ruff was allowed. Not even Tuff would enter this room without a damn good reason. And now, she was alone here with Hiccup, with the man she loved, the man she was going to marry. The man whose touch and closeness she craved beyond anything else.

And they had all night…

. o O o .

Hiccup barely noticed how the door closed behind Astrid's maidservant. His head was entirely empty, wiped clean since the moment he'd entered. He'd expected that spending the night with Astrid would be intense, but just being here was so much more than he'd anticipated. This room, so personal with pictures and decorations that just screamed Astrid, the bed, so big and inviting, and Astrid herself, hair loosely bound in her usual nighttime braid and dressed in only a thin night shift – it all made for an incredibly heady atmosphere.

"Hey," Astrid eventually breathed a little shyly after he'd done nothing but stare at her for... he couldn't say how long. Long enough, probably.

"Hey." Swallowing hard, Hiccup managed to reply in the same manner. If she'd hoped for more of a reaction though, he couldn't help but disappoint her, unable to form coherent thoughts or even to move. His eyes lingered where they shouldn't, on her parted lips, plush and inviting, begging him to kiss them, and on the curves of her breasts and hips barely hidden by the thin fabric around her.

Freya, how much he wanted her…

His mouth went dry, even swallowing again and licking his lips to wet them not helping in the slightest. He still knew he couldn't let anything happen, not for real. But it was nigh on impossible to remember that when she slowly came closer, bright eyes filled with warmth and longing holding him hostage.

When she stretched to kiss him, her lips on his felt so soft, somehow softer even than only hours before or during the one night they'd spent together on Eret's couch. They drew a low groan from somewhere deep in his chest, and without his doing, his hands curled around her waist, pulling her closer. Her response robbed him of the last shred of coherence when her hands grabbed at his hair, fingernails scraping, and she tilted her head to deepen their kiss.

Hiccup momentarily lost track of everything. All that mattered was the feeling of her lips, the taste of her skin as his mouth wandered down her neck, and the lovely sound of her gasping his name into his ear, silk and lace bunched up between his fingers as he hurled her closer still. Gods, he'd missed this so much, this closeness and heat, the intimacy of reconnecting with the missing part of his soul, with her, and it felt so completely right.

How couldn't it be right?

Somewhere in the back of his mind, a small voice was warning him, but it got lost in the flood of sensation she elicited when she gently but determinedly tugged him along. His thighs hit the edge of her bed and without really noticing he kicked off his shoes before they both tumbled onto the soft mattress.

It was all just a blur. They rolled around on the bed until she lay beneath him, her lithe body tight against his and her hand tugging at him until he was where she wanted him. Her hands were everywhere, in his hair, running down his sides, clutching at his back while her lips stole every coherent thought from his mind.

Hiccup shook with desire, her touches sending sparks like lightning strikes through his entire body. Heat pooled in his lower belly, so close to where he could feel her against him. Resisting her was impossible.

Astrid uttered the softest moans when his hands roamed over her body in return, making his head spin and the thin fabric wasn't enough to keep him from feeling her inviting warmth. He couldn't get enough, was addicted to every noise and every sensation, now after their separation even more so than before. Leaning down, his mouth wandered down her neck, kissing and tasting her, feeling her heartbeat pulsing against his tongue.

A shudder ran through his body when he felt her touch on his bare back beneath his tunic, not hesitant at all where fingers dug into scarred skin. It reminded him of how scared he'd once been of how she would react to his mangled body, to the signs of his failures, and of how much he trusted her now.

But the reminder also brought a brief moment of clarity to his mind, making him realise what they were doing. He lay on top of Astrid on her bed, with her thin night shift making a poor job at covering her body – especially with the skirt bunched up somewhere around her hips and the neckline nearly dropping off her shoulders. With the way she gazed up at him through dazed eyes and that pink flush on her cheeks, she looked breathtakingly beautiful, almost agonizingly. All he wanted at that moment was to give in, to feel her eager touch on his skin, to let her take off his tunic like she was trying just now, and to not care about the consequences.

But he did care, and greatly so.

"No," Hiccup gasped, fighting to keep his clarity of mind and not give in to her oh so tempting touch. He shook his head as if to clear it and then rolled off her with a groan, hands moving to cover his face. "No, no, we can't… mustn't… no…"

Gods, he was an idiot! Why had he let it come this far when he'd known to be wary of the temptation? With brutal force, he pulled up the memory of how she'd looked when he'd left her standing in the armoury, of all the pain he'd put her through. No matter how sweet her skin tasted on his tongue, it wasn't worth risking her being in such pain again.

Although, it might be too late already. He clearly remembered the pain and confusion on her face whenever he'd pulled away from her before, her insecurities and fear of rejection. Why, oh why, hadn't he resisted right from the start? If he'd only kissed her without getting carried away and explained himself right away… But he hadn't resisted, had given in to his desire so readily, and now, he'd done it again, had–

"What is it?"

Her voice pulled him out of his whirling thoughts like nothing else could.

He'd expected her to be disappointed and hurt, but there was none of that. Instead, she sounded mostly calm and even a little curious, throwing him off track completely.

Gulping, he lowered his hands, his eyes finding hers in an instant. They were big, her pupils dilated, and there was a distinct flush on her cheeks, her breath coming a little faster than was normal. But aside from those obvious signs of arousal, she seemed surprisingly composed.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. "I didn't mean to… to hurt you or reject you."

"I know you didn't," she replied, her expression turning soft but also a little sad as her eyes dropped back to his lips for a heartbeat.

Hiccup swallowed again and sat up, turning around to better look at hero better talk to her. "You-you're not… upset? That I wouldn't..." Breaking off, he only nodded at her, her bare shoulders and neck so alluring that it was hard to even look at her.

Unintentionally taunting him further, she took a deep breath, her chest rising and falling with it, before she sat up as well. It made her shift slip even further down her arm, but she caught it before it could slip off completely and pulled it back up over her shoulder when she noticed him staring at exposed skin. When he looked up at her face again, she was smiling softly, her eyes gleaming.

"Hiccup, I know that you would never hurt me," she said, that soft smile becoming even more beautiful somehow. "And I… I trust you, you know? In you and in our feelings, in our bond and our fate. Nothing will ever separate us again." She frowned as if looking for the right words. "It's… it sounds silly, I guess. Cocky. But I know that you... want me. There were times where I worried, yes, but those are over. So, if you refuse to touch me now… well, then I know it's not because you don't want to. I trust that you have a reason, something I just don't get yet. But I also know that… I know that I can ask you everything. That I don't need to be afraid or embarrassed, not ever. So… what is it?"

Hiccup could only gaze at her in awe, lips parting but unable to come up with a response. By the Gods, she was perfect! Once again he wondered what he'd done to deserve having her in his life.

Instead of answering, he leaned in and kissed her again. Maybe that wasn't the wisest thing to do given how much his heart was still racing from their heated kiss only moments before. But he was more careful now, the kiss more controlled this time, fueled by gratitude and love instead of desire as he lifted his hand to cradle her face. She really was amazing. His thumb caressed her cheek as he ended the kiss and he instead leaned his forehead against hers. "I love you," he whispered hoarsely.

Chuckling, Astrid retreated. "I love you too," she replied, the warmth in her eyes almost enough to make him melt then and there. Then they lit up with a teasing spark. "But if that's the reason why you retreated, then you'll have to elaborate."

Hiccup couldn't help but snort in amusement at her remark, even as he grimaced. He just hoped she would still be this understanding after he'd laid out his reasons. With a slight nod, he stood up, putting a little more space between them. He needed to explain himself and getting distracted by her closeness wouldn't do him much good now.

"You're probably going to think I'm overreacting," he began, taking a few steps up and down her room. Casually, he looked around, taking in random details without really registering them. Doing anything just to not get distracted again. "But, this separation... Somehow, I feel like it was some kind of punishment. Or a warning maybe. I mean, sure, Cami said that what we did, getting intimate and all, wasn't against the rules. But even she can't know what the Gods really want." Hiccup paused, warily glancing over at her. But she didn't say anything, sitting at the edge of the high bed and watching him with her head cocked in confusion, so he quickly went on. "It's just… the timing, you know? Right before we were about to take that huge step and do anal sex, this… this major obstacle was thrown into our way." Agitatedly, he threw his arms up, gesturing wildly. "And I'm having a tough time accepting that to only have been a coincidence. What if it was a sign instead? A sign that we're supposed to wait until we're truly married. Not just with actually having sex, but also with… well, with everything else."

He could feel her disappointment now, even though she tried hard to not let it show. "Uh, okay?" she replied, a little insecurely. It was as if he could see the cogs in her head turning until she spoke again. "That's… well, maybe you're right, but…" She paused again, thinking, then shook her head. "I don't think that makes much sense. I mean, it didn't just happen because of what we did. Me getting married and all that, it had been planned for months, since just before the Midwinter ceremony."

Hiccup nodded; she had a point, after all. But something about what she'd just said still poked at something in his mind. "Since before Midwinter?" How could she be sure about that?

"At least that's what Eret mentioned," she confirmed with a slight shrug. "Something about how Daniel had acted differently from one day to the other. Since that day you all went to meet Cami that first time, remember? He said that Daniel opted out of that visit at short notice and had a long talk with Father instead, and after that, his behaviour changed?"

Hiccup paled, his heart stuttering painfully. "That…" he muttered. "Gods, that's even worse." He took a few deep breaths to calm himself and tried to put order into his jumbling thoughts as it was clear that Astrid didn't understand. "That night… Don't you remember? That's when we started. When Cami told me it would be all right to get intimate with you if we didn't go too far and when you were waiting for me at the stables then, when we–"

"– when you made me come the first time," she completed his sentence. There was understanding in her voice now, regret in her eyes.

He nodded again, gulping. "Exactly. And if that's the night when your father decided to pull your wedding forward and to thwart all my plans to gain a title… Yeah, no, I really don't believe that's a coincidence!"

Astrid still didn't seem convinced though. Chewing her lower lip, she slowly shook her head, thinking. "I don't know, Hiccup. That's just–"

"Exactly," he interrupted her gently, stepping closer and reaching for her hand. "I don't know either. But I'm not going to risk losing you again."

At that, all her doubts and worries melted off her features and got replaced by something immeasurable softer. She pulled him closer and firmly intertwined her fingers with his. "You won't lose me. Ever."

Hiccup couldn't help but return her soft smile, squeezing her hand but not replying directly. He wouldn't take her or their future for granted again.

"So," Astrid went on after a short pause, "what exactly does this mean now? Will you stay here tonight?"

Sighing, Hiccup nodded. Of course, strictly thinking even him being here and alone with her went far beyond what he should do. He should apologise to Astrid, thank her servants for their help, and leave, should not risk getting overwhelmed by temptation again. It would be the prudent thing to do. But even with all logical reasoning and pondering, there were things he simply couldn't do – and staying away from Astrid was one of them.

"Yes, I will. I don't know anymore which rules apply to us, so… Well, in that vision I had, the Goddess told me that I'd have to do what comes naturally to me. So I'll just have to trust in my own judgement, I guess. And as long as we don't get carried away, I don't feel like being here is wrong."

Astrid visibly relaxed. "That's good. Because I don't think so either," she replied with a breathy little chuckle, but then became serious again. "But what else does it mean? Where would you draw the line? Just… just so I know?"

She sounded so vulnerable…

Hiccup gulped, reminding himself once more of how easily he could hurt her, of the power they both had over each other. He raised his hand to brush a strand of hair out of her face, caressing her soft skin as gently as he could. "I think this is all right," he murmured, leaning closer. "And this, too."

His lips brushed over hers and she hummed, mouth twitching into a smile as his tongue poked out to taste her. Slowly, almost despite himself, his hand rose to cup the back of her head, pulling her closer again, deeper into their kiss. Astrid responded with a happy sigh, lips parting to welcome him.

Quickly, the kiss grew firmer, more heated with breathless groans, tongues swirling, and teeth nipping at soft lips. Hiccup trembled with repressed desire; she was just so wonderful, perfect, everything. But he was careful this time, making sure that his hands stayed near her head, dropping only to her neck and shoulders and not lower. He could feel that Astrid wanted more, wanted to melt against him, to touch him, and he greatly appreciated that she held back nonetheless. His ability to resist temptation only reached so far.

When he pulled back again, there was a warm glow in her eyes, something that hadn't been there just a minute ago but which he felt, too. After the months of exploring each other before her birthday, sticking to only rather innocent kisses like this one felt like not enough. But at the same time… it was enough. The closeness and assurance were all they needed, for now at least. Everything else would come back to them over time.

"Yes, I think it's okay for me to be here," he repeated, his voice a little rougher than before. "It's okay for us to kiss, to cuddle, and to hold each other through the night."

She nodded and he pulled her closer into his arms, just as she leaned against him too, not resisting when she guided them to lie down again. It wasn't so they could continue to make out, so it was all right. And it felt so good to hold her like this again! His nose was in her hair, drowning him in that subtle scent of mayweed he'd missed so much, and his arm lightly rested around her waist, her warmth against his chest. He wouldn't have minded spending the rest of the night like this.

"I missed this," she whispered after a while. "This closeness, feeling you, and…"

She trailed off, squirming a little in his embrace. It made her rub against him in an incredibly enticing way, and with a small grunt, his hold around her waist tightened, keeping her still. Gods, he wanted…

He could feel how she actively restrained herself, almost trembling beneath his hands with the effort of keeping herself from moving further. "I'm sorry," she chuckled, embarrassed. "I just… well, I'd hope we… that…" She broke off, biting her lip. Then she sighed. "But it's... it's okay. I understand. I think. And it's only a few more weeks." She turned her head to look up at him, smiling. "I can wait that long."

Hiccup's breath caught in his throat. Lying beneath him with that smile on her face, strands of her golden hair all around her on the pillow, illuminated only by the flickering light of the lantern, and with soft understanding glowing in her eyes… Gods, she was so beautiful, inside and out, irresistible. Almost.

"I'm sorry, too," he murmured. "For disappointing you and–"

"Hush!" Astrid placed her hand over his lips. "You didn't. It's fine."

Sighing, he closed his eyes and kissed her fingers, softly. It made her giggle, and when she pulled them back again after a minute, he opened his eyes again to look at her. "I love you, Astrid. And… and I promise to make it up to you." He hesitated for a moment, taking a deep breath, but then brought his mouth to her ear, his hand caressing her neck. "Every night, I'll make it up to you, I swear…"

Astrid's breath hitched, and for a heartbeat, Hiccup considered stretching his own rules a little, just once. Just letting his hand glide down her barely covered body, playing with her breasts and toying with her clit, just lazily getting her off while stealing the breath from her lungs with his kisses, just this one time. And he almost did it. When she turned her head and her lips found his again, there was a moment when his resolve crumbled and nearly failed him. She clearly wanted, how could he resist her?

But then he remembered the armoury again, the pain in her eyes as he'd left her standing – and pulled away.

"Mmh, I can't wait," Astrid hummed, her eyes dazed and dreamy as she looked up at him, panting.

Hiccup resisted the urge to watch her chest rise and fall and instead lay down next to her again, eyes firmly on her face. She didn't need to know how close he'd been to giving in, how much he wanted to give in.

They made themselves more comfortable and for a long while just cuddled and enjoyed each other's company before Astrid broke the silence again. "Can I ask you something?"

Hiccup frowned. "Of course. Whatever you want." Hadn't she just said herself that she could ask him everything? What made her think she couldn't ask now?

Nodding, she turned around and eyed him somewhat curiously. "It's… well, you mentioned a few times now that you had another vision. And I was wondering what it was about. I mean, you don't have to tell me. I had none, so this one clearly was only for you. I'm curious though and thought, maybe, you could tell me about it? Only if you think it's okay and want to…"

Understanding sparked in his mind and his features softened. "Sure. I don't feel like it was meant to be a secret." He shifted into a sitting position that made it easier to talk which Astrid mimicked, leaning against his side. "I was back at that small house we both saw, in the middle of a forest," he began, trying to remember as many details as possible. "At first, I thought it was just the same vision again, then I noticed the differences. The door wouldn't open to reveal you, and…"

. o O o .

Over the course of about half an hour, he told her of the dream-vision the Goddess had sent him, about how he'd needed Astrid's key to open the door, the Goddess wearing her face, and what she'd said to him. He told her everything he could remember and once he'd finished, Astrid was silent for a minute or two, processing what he'd told her.

"How did you know it wasn't just an ordinary dream?" she eventually asked.

Hiccup shrugged. "I didn't," he admitted. "Not right away. I spent the entire night and most of the following day pondering. I'd been so convinced that… that there was no hope left for us. But the night before, I'd talked to Cami and she'd said something that made me hope again, even as that wasn't how she'd meant it. She'd said that, if we really were connected by a true soulbond, then not even the meddling of a King could separate us. She'd tried to convince me that our bond couldn't be real because you would marry Eret, that I should let you go and move on... But I couldn't shake off the thought that it also could mean something else, that nothing can ever separate us, not even your father. Because no matter what she said, I knew that our bond had been real. Is real." He let his hand drop to her chest, and for once it was easy to ignore how close he was to touching her in a way he mustn't do. Their bond was more meaningful than any physical aspects of their relationship.

"When I had that dream then…," he went on. "You're right, I couldn't be sure whether it had been only a dream or not, and I spent the rest of the night and most of the following day thinking about it. What it could mean, whether I really was supposed to kill someone or whether that's just been some imaginary task born from my desperation. I just couldn't be sure, not… not until your accident and Markor…"

Astrid froze at his words, and he winced when she inhaled sharply, understanding what he was talking about.

"I'm sorry." He wasn't sure what exactly he was apologising for, ending Markor's life or bringing up his death in the first place. Both in a way. She hadn't brought that topic up so far, but he could imagine how much losing Markor must have hurt her. And Hiccup literally had his blood on his hands, the image of red sticking to his skin etched forever into his mind.

She nodded, shifting closer and eagerly leaned against him when he hesitantly opened his arms and offered a comforting hug. "It's okay," she mumbled after a while. "Not that he's… but I'm okay. You couldn't have changed anything of what happened and… What I mean is… I don't blame you, you know? On the contrary, I'll never forget him and I have you to thank for that."

She nodded to the side of the bed and Hiccup spotted the wooden horse he'd given her as a Midwinter gift standing on her bedside table. He wasn't sure how to react, whether to be sad or happy that this gift, that had only ended up in her belongings by chance, now served such an oddly fitting purpose. He'd wanted it to be a reminder of him, but now… It had been him who'd brought Markor into Astrid's life on that first day at the stables and it had been him who'd taken him away again. Now, this figurine he'd given her was all that was left. Odd how some things fit together sometimes.

"So, until you… until you ended Markor's suffering, you didn't know whether what you saw had been real or not?"

Astrid was clearly trying to change the topic and distract herself, so Hiccup complied. "No, I couldn't be sure. I spent hours pondering whether it had been merely a dream, wishful thinking, or a true vision." He paused, taking a deep breath, and reached for Astrid's hand before he went on; though whether to draw strength or offer comfort, he did not know. "I thought about what the Goddess had said… and whether I was capable of killing someone if it meant I could be with you again."

Her sharp intake of breath didn't escape him. "And… did you arrive at a conclusion?" she asked, her tone sober, unreadable.

Hiccup gulped, then shook his head. "No," he whispered. "I mean, I'd do everything for you. But this… I don't know. Maybe? Depending on the circumstances? I don't think I could… could simply murder a helpless innocent in cold blood. But…" he paused again, averting his face from her scrutinising eyes. "But now that I know how it feels to lose you… I'd be capable of a lot to keep that from happening again." He knew that she despised unnecessary deaths, so he wasn't sure whether that was the answer she'd wanted to hear. But it was the truth nonetheless.

At first, she didn't respond. After a few endless heartbeats though, she shifted on the bed, leaned closer, and lifted his head with her hand cradling his jaw. "You'll do what's right," she whispered, a sincerity in her eyes that left him breathless. "The Goddess said you'd only have to do what comes naturally to you and I trust your judgement. Everything will be all right."

Sighing, he closed his eyes and leaned more heavily into her touch, nuzzling against her fingers and softly kissing her palm. "I hope you're right," he murmured.

She kept caressing his face, her touch soft as a feather. "I'd go with what the Goddess told you. There's always hope," she said lightly, and even though his eyes were still closed he could hear her smile easily enough. "I do wonder what you're supposed to do for them, though. That bit about them having a purpose in their selection sounded pretty ominous."

Hiccup nodded, having wondered about that several times already. "I know. But all we can do is wait and see. She didn't tell me about anything specific I'm supposed to do – except for that ending a life part." He shrugged, then grimaced. "I mean, maybe it's just rebuilding Ravenledge and providing a better life for the people living there. That's going to be enough of a challenge I'd say."

"Well, you won't be alone with that task," Astrid reminded him, leaning forward until her forehead rested against his own. "We can do this, together. No matter how difficult it will be."

Smiling, his mouth searched hers for a string of light kisses. "Yeah," he mumbled in-between against her lips. "Together."

It was a heady thought. The last couple of days still hadn't been enough to completely wipe away the hopelessness and pain of the two weeks before, and thinking about how they would spend their future and meet every obstacle together from now on – sometimes it still felt like too much to wrap his head around.

"I've got to say though," Astrid interrupted his thoughts, giggling as they lay side by side again. "I'm surprised nothing else happened in that dream-vision of yours."

"Excuse me?"

She giggled again, a little more teasingly. "Well, you met the Goddess of Love herself! And even though the situation warranted more, you did nothing but talk and cuddle for a bit? Most people would call that a wasted opportunity."

Snorting, he rolled his eyes. "What was I supposed to do? Should I have kissed her and made out with her? With a Goddess?"

"Why not?" She was still giggling. "She looked like me after all. Nobody could have blamed you, and you said it yourself, you didn't even know that it wasn't really me in the beginning. Or that it was more than just a dream to begin with. It would have been perfectly justified."

Bemused, he shook his head. She couldn't be serious, could she? Or was there a hint of jealousy behind her amusement, some underlying worries? But no, that wasn't like her. When he looked at her though, he noticed the teasing gleam in her eyes, the twitching of her lips. Right…

Smiling, he rolled around until he was on his side, propped up on one arm and leaning over her. Astrid looked up at him, eyes so soft despite the mischievous spark and the deep blue almost enough to lose himself in them again.

"You want to know why?" he whispered before he brushed a few strands of hair out of her face and then leaned down to kiss her again. "Because she wasn't you."

. o O o .

In many aspects, the night hadn't been what Astrid had expected and yet she wasn't disappointed, not really at least. Without a doubt, she missed Hiccup's hands on her body, his touch on sensitive skin, the heat of intimacy. But somehow, she didn't mind. The night had passed by in another kind of intimacy, with soft caresses and relatively innocent kisses and with a lightness that she found meant even more to her. They'd talked for hours and about so many things, important and trivial alike, and while it hadn't been the reconnecting she'd craved, it was the one she'd needed.

When she woke in the morning, she couldn't keep a broad smile from spreading across her face. Even through her still-closed eyes, she knew that the sun was already rising, but in opposition to their usual routine, there was no need for them to hurriedly wake up and part. There was nothing keeping her from enjoying his arms loosely wrapped around her waist, his low and even breathing in her hair, and the incredibly comfortable heat purring from his body wrapped around her back. There was nothing keeping her from snuggling closer against him, sighing happily as he reflexively pulled her closer.

Nothing except the loud knocking against her door and Ruff's voice echoing toward them.

"Milady? Are you decent?" There was a short pause, then, "I'm coming in now."

Astrid rolled her eyes and nestled closer to Hiccup behind her as he stirred awake with a low grunt. She'd talked about this with Ruff the night before and they'd agreed on a few things in advance. Mainly that her maidservant wouldn't just barge into her bedroom like she usually did to wake her. Sadly, there wouldn't be anything indecent anytime soon anyway, so it was a little moot, really. Unless Ruff wasn't alone, then she would say so before opening the door so Hiccup had the chance to hide. But as it was, Ruff was alone when she entered the bedroom, so Astrid couldn't have cared less. She wasn't ready yet to leave his warm embrace.

Hiccup, however, jumped awake in an instant. He sat up straight, pulling the blanket up with him, and his face went frighteningly pale as he stared at Ruff before he seemed to remember and relaxed again. Lamenting the warmth, Astrid sat up too and snuggled back against his chest, smiling as he wrapped his arms and the blanket back around her.

Ruff threw them a smirk, raising her eyebrows at the obvious state of them still being fully dressed, but then turned to pull the curtains open. "I'd say 'Sorry for interrupting you', but it doesn't look like I interrupted anything anyway. I knew Tuff was exaggerating. Anyway, time to get up. Your breakfast is waiting for you at your tea table, Astrid. Hiccup, you get yours in the kitchen as usual. Sorry, but there was no way for me to sneak in your portion without raising suspicion."

Intending to drown Ruff's babbling out to enjoy her last minutes with Hiccup for the day, Astrid still perked up, frowning at her maidservant's words.

"What?"

Ruff turned, an insinuating smirk on her face as she rolled her eyes. "I said your breakfast is–"

"No, no, I got that," Astrid interrupted her, sitting up straighter now even as her mind was whirling in confusion. "But why? Why would I eat here? What about my usual breakfast with the King and the Grand Dukes?"

On so many occasions lately, she'd wished she could simply skip the common meal and eat alone in her rooms, but not today. Today, she had something important to talk about with her father, and not just she. Duke Oswald had to agree to giving County Ravenledge to Hiccup, too, and they needed their and Eret II's support to rebuild it. Who knew when else she, Eret, and Dagur would get the chance to talk to their fathers? She didn't want to wait any longer.

She looked up at Hiccup, seeking… she didn't even know what exactly. Reassurance somehow. But he looked just as confused as she felt. And worried.

"I don't know, exactly," Ruff said, shrugging apologetically. "All I know is that there was a change of plan somehow. Today's hunt got cancelled and instead, your father summoned all of your suitors for an announcement."

Beneath her hand on his chest, Hiccup trembled. "Oh, no," he muttered. "That doesn't sound good,"

Astrid could only agree, but she didn't want him to fret again. He was already carrying more guilt than was necessary. She shifted until she kneeled in front of him, for once towering over him, and took his face in both her hands. "Don't worry, okay?" she said with as much conviction as she could muster. "Whatever it is, this doesn't change anything. Do you hear me? We belong together and nothing will ever change that. Together to the end of the road. Promise."

Hiccup looked up at her with conflicted eyes, clearly wanting to believe her but unable to fully do so. "I hope you're right," he muttered, swallowing, then leaned more heavily into her touch, his forehead resting against hers. "I really do."

. o O o .

Yes, she didn't want Hiccup to fret about whatever her father had to announce. However, not fretting about it herself was an entirely different matter. What could be so important that he cancelled all plans for the day?

Struggling to not let her nervousness show, she was standing in the audience room, next to and a little behind her father as they waited for everyone to arrive. As her future husband, Eret was allowed to stand behind her, and now, she understood how hard the previous day must have been for him. Even though the presence of the King certainly kept many from showing their envy and disdain too openly, the looks Eret got for being up here with her were anything but friendly. But even though she wished she could spare him all this, she also was grateful for his presence. It was all that kept her from falling apart.

The last time her father had made an announcement, he'd torn apart all her dreams and plans. He wouldn't reject her upcoming betrothal to Eret and hand her back to all these leering predators in front of her because of such a stupid rumour, would he? No, certainly not. But she couldn't help but fear for what he had to say nonetheless.

"Do you know what this is about?" she whispered, her head tilted to the side so only Eret could hear her. Surely his thoughts had gone in a similar direction than hers.

"No idea," Eret grunted quietly. "Father wouldn't say anything even though he clearly knows what's going on. He was excited though, even grinning, so I guess it's nothing too bad."

Swallowing, Astrid nodded weakly. At least it wouldn't be the cancellation of their betrothal. She just hoped that he was right, that it wouldn't get too bad. She wasn't sure how much more she could take.

A few minutes later, everyone seemed to have arrived as two servants closed the doors, and Astrid reached behind her for Eret's hand. She needed her brother's support, feeling a little lighter as he squeezed her reassuringly.

"I see everyone's here now," her father began, smiling broadly at the crowd. He seemed to be in a good mood. "Good. I have exciting news. Even though it's still over a week until the betrothal ceremony, my daughter has made her decision already, and while I couldn't be happier about her choice, I also see how it affects the mood and motivation for the remaining challenges." There was consenting grumbling all over the room, many men throwing disappointed glances at her and Eret.

"I was already thinking about how to solve this problem," her father went on, "when a note from Oramond reached me yesterday."

Puzzled, Astrid cocked her head. Oramond was a city located north of Volantis, about a day's ride away. She dimly remembered having been there as a child as it was famous for its market, the only one where merchants from the Northern Tribes sold their goods. Or used to sell their goods. Over the last ten years, fewer and fewer merchants had shown up until the city had lost its significance. What message from there could be so important that her father changed his plans?

She didn't need to wait long for the answer.

"As some of you know, the lands north of Volantis still occasionally suffer from dragon attacks. This year though, there were ten times as many sightings as usual already. Livestock was stolen, and last week, one of Oramond's storehouses was burned to the ground. And while this development is truly unfortunate, it can also be seen as a blessing in disguise as it gives us an unexpected opportunity."

The King made a short dramatic pause, looking around into the waiting faces before he continued, his voice a little louder now. "Three decades have passed since we last held a Dragon Hunt. But now, the Gods bless us with this impeccable chance. From today on, all upcoming hunts and tournaments until the betrothal ceremony are cancelled. Instead, everyone gets the chance to prepare themselves for in four days from today, we will all travel to Oramond. From there, the first Dragon Hunt since my father's reign will be held. It will go on for three days before a winner is determined. My daughter's hand, while a suitable and traditional prize, is not an option anymore, but I think I've found an acceptable alternative. I'm happy to announce that the winner of this Dragon Hunt, the man who brings me the head of a dragon, will not only earn himself a pouch of gold and glory beyond any other, but will also receive the right to call himself the Count of Ravenledge."

. o O o .

AN: I can't say how regularly I'm going to update from now on. When a chapter is done, I'll post it. You can follow me on Tumblr (shipmistress9) or find me on the ATOV-Discord server if you want to stay informed. :)

Yeah, so… we all knew it wouldn't be that easy, didn't we?

And to all those people who (repeatedly) asked about when I'd FINALLY include the dragons… are you satisfied now? O:)