Chapter 51 - Reassurance From the One Who Loves You

Legosi felt nauseous. The room around him spun, and the shower curtain in front of him morphed and moved in strange ways. He rode out his sobs, feeling them subside. He heard a ringing in his ears.

Louis didn't even know where to go so he just started walking.

The large carnivore tipped himself over, curling up in a ball on the bathroom floor.

Haru quickly came in, seeing him lying there. She got on her knees next to him. "Legosi-kun..."

He just stared straight ahead, unresponsive.

"Please, get up..."

He sat back up. His arms and legs felt numb. Who was talking to him?

Haru pulled him into a hug. "Legosi. You can't let Louis disappear again. This would be the third time, now!"

"We're not meant to be together. Of course it could never work. We've only been together a month and this happened. It wasn't meant to last. We were stupid for thinking it could." Legosi's voice was monotone.

"What?! No! Go get him! He's still close!" She shoved him, gently.

Legosi laid there for a moment, looking down at the bathroom rug with empty eyes. Then something sparked in his head. It sounded deep and guttural in his mind.

Your prey is getting away. Go catch it.

He slowly stood up, knees cracking. He wiped his nose and strode out of the bathroom, past Haru, barely perceiving the area around him. He went out the front door. He had worked hard to get Louis to be his. He couldn't just leave him that easily. He sniffed the air, tracking him. He wasn't too far away...

Louis was behind a wall, sobbing. He was so ashamed of everything that had just happened. He wished he could throw himself off a cliff. At least he would never feel this way again if that happened. Maybe he should have thrown himself out that window…He couldn't stop crying. He was sniffling and messy.

Legosi walked forward a bit and turned a corner. There he was, leaning against a brick wall, crying. The wolf shook his head, dissipating his dissociative state. He decided to not think about the thought that had motivated him to come out here. He was just happy he had, now. It was true: He couldn't lose Louis.

The deer couldn't believe Legosi had said those things.

His boyfriend approached him carefully, not wanting to scare him off.

Louis didn't notice him. He was just a pathetic pile of deer at the moment.

Legosi walked over and stood in front of him, about a foot away. He didn't dare touch him, but he wanted Louis to notice he was there, eventually.

Louis had his head buried in his arms. His apron was still on, funnily enough. He sniffed.

Legosi crouched down. He guessed he had to do something. He placed his hand on Louis' arm gently.

"Go away."

Legosi sighed. "I didn't mean what I said back there...I know you love me."

"So you want me to come back so I can use you for my own benefit some more? Just leave me alone..."

"Louis, that's not what I meant. We've been through too much together for your feelings to only mean that. I know you love me..." He rubbed his arm. "It just...hurts me when you ignore when I try to help you…"

"But now I know how you really feel." He sniffed. "What's the point? I just use other animals to make myself happy and even that doesn't work."

Legosi bit his lip. "That's not true. You go out of your way to make me happy. You really care about me and take up so much of your time to make me those meals. You went out and bought me all of those clothes, as well. And you always help me with my homework…"

"Only so you'd treat me better when I'm using you up, apparently."

"Louis..." Legosi whispered. He reached to his chin and propped up his face gently, staring into his wet eye with his own.

The deer curled up a bit more. "I feel worthless, Legosi. There's no place for someone like me. I'm a carnivore-loving freak."

Legosi's chest hurt. "You're not, Louis...You're the most important animal in my life! And...and...I'm an herbivore loving freak!"

"But people actually care about you. Your boyfriend would never say that you're using him."

Legosi screwed his eyes shut. He wasn't escaping that one. "I'm so, so sorry, Louis. I'm sorry I said that. It's not the truth and it's not what I believe. Please, trust me..."

"Then why did you say it? Some part of you must have believed it to hurt me like this."

"I was frustrated. You kept pushing my concerns away, and it upset me, so I tried to make you listen to me. It was a stupid idea and it backfired horribly. I'm sorry. Please, forgive me. I didn't mean it. I know you love me, and I love you, too. We'll get through this. Together."

"I don't know how to feel. "

Legosi continued to cradle Louis' chin with his hand. "Can we...go back home? Please?"

Louis took a moment and blinked tears out of his eyes. "Okay."

Legosi got up, helping Louis up as well. He felt so fragile...He lifted him, holding him bridal-style, like he did back at the Horns Headquarters.

They returned home and found that Haru had left.

Legosi walked over to the bed, sitting down on it with Louis still cradled in his lap.

The deer buried his face in his chest. "I'm so glad Haru-chan left..."

Legosi pulled him closer. "She was just trying to help..."

"Legosi...I love you so much..." He clinged to him. "I'm so sorry. I never meant for you to get so mad that you'd say something like that. I never realized how terrible of a boyfriend I am."

Legosi just stroked the back of Louis' head as he spoke.

"I don't put enough in and now you feel the way you do...How could I?" He shook his head. "And..I left you in that bathroom instead of listening because I always put up my walls when I'm being confronted."

Legosi let out a long, steady breath. He brought his nose down, nuzzling it into Louis' neck.

"Legosi...I really don't want to be with anyone else. I want to make it work with you. If you hadn't come and found me, who knows what I would have done…"

"I'm glad I did. I was afraid...I almost didn't..." He swallowed hard.

"The thoughts going through my head would have made you stay away..."

"Well...what are you thinking now?"

He sniffed, breaking into a sob against Legosi's chest. "I still don't want to live…"

"We'll work through that together." Louis was showing his weak side to Legosi once more. Who else was going to be there for him enough to see it? Of course he still feels that way...Everything won't be fixed instantly now that we've apologized to one another. But don't worry. I'll stay strong for you.

Louis hugged him and squeezed tightly. "I feel like I failed you..."

"No. You're scared. You don't know what else to do. But I'm here to help. Please, let me help."

Louis took a deep breath. He didn't know how he was going to do this, but he had to. For the sake of their relationship. "Okay. I'll try. I mean it."

Legosi nuzzled him some more. "And I'll try to stop...yelling so much when I get worried. That must scare you. And...I'll try not to back away from my problems so much that they build up into anger like this..."

"Okay..." They had the foundation to get better. Now, they just needed to act.

Legosi slowly laid him down on his back and gazed down upon him. Even in his disheveled state..."You're the most beautiful animal I've ever seen..."

"You're the most gorgeous animal I've ever come into contact with. No one can even compare to you...And...I'm always comparing everyone to you...Even Haru-chan."

Legosi laughed slightly. "Well, other animals besides me are still good." He lowered himself onto Louis, keeping his body propped up with his elbows enough as to not put all his weight onto him. He went back to his neck, licking it.

"Hmm...I don't think I can ever leave this behind, even if I wanted to..."

Legosi kissed his cheek several times, pushing his body against him slowly. He wrapped his arms and legs completely around him.

Louis huffed. "I think I need at least one lick a day."

"I can deliver that. You just tell me where."

He coughed. "...And I would never get used to not sleeping with you."

"Me too." Legosi slid to the side of the deer, leaving a leg and his arms wrapped around him still. "Other couples...they fight. So...there's nothing wrong with us, right?"

"Right...It's normal..."

Legosi admired Louis' handsome features. He smiled.

Louis blushed a bit. "What?"

"You're so handsome..."

He smiled. "That's all you, my love."

Legosi buried his face in Louis' shoulder at the pet name.

Louis took a breath. "Could we...remove our shirts?" He wanted his mind to be as far away from recent events as possible, so maybe distracting himself with...affection...would work.

Legosi got off the bed, removing his clothes until he was in his underwear.

The cervid blushed. "H-hello there..."

"Too much?"

He sat up and began removing his shirt. "No...It's perfect."

Legosi's heart was pounding. He couldn't believe they were having the worst fight of their relationship just 10 minutes ago. I guess we'll always come back to each other...It's weird how it all works.

Louis removed his shirt and then his pants, throwing them to the side. It was the first time he was this vulnerable, but...his skinniness was alarming.

Legosi stared. Louis was breathtaking, but there was no doubt that he was sick. He decided not to talk about it, especially since it lead to their fight. He just wanted him right now. He sat down on the bed, holding his arms out.

Louis went in between them. He felt Legosi's soft fur against him, the warmth...It felt so right. He was very curious as to what was under those...But no, he pushed that thought away. They almost lost one another and now they were here? What the fuck was this? Why did he feel so affectionate?

Legosi went in for a kiss, rubbing his large tongue against Louis' flat teeth.

Louis leaned in and kissed back, scooting closer to his wolf. A hand went onto Legosi's cheek.

The wolf held the back of Louis' head, using his long fingers to rub his ears as well. He continued to kiss, pushing into his mouth with his tongue.

Louis did the same, sliding his tongue along the canine's, always noting how rough it was. He loved that feeling. It excited him.

Legosi opened his mouth slightly, closing it gently around Louis' for a moment in their passion.

"Mm..." the deer exhaled through his nose. He got closer, his knees rubbing against Legosi.

The wolf lay on his back, pulling his mate on top of him.

Louis went along with him, continuing to kiss his boyfriend passionately. He was trying to keep his mind away from any instinctual thoughts.

Legosi moaned into Louis' mouth, softly. He pulled away, long enough to speak. "L-Louis. Wh-what should we do?"

"Whatever you want..." He knew what he wanted and did not want to say it.

Legosi looked away. "I...I want to try again."

"What? We never broke up." Idiot, you know what he means.

"N-no. Not that. I want...what we did the other night. Only, this time I'll try to make you more comfortable."

"Y-you actually want to try again...?" Louis looked down at his own crotch, then averted his gaze to his own leg. "What if I...Give up again?"

"We won't get anywhere if we stop trying...We'll go until you need to stop. If you need to."

"Legosi..." The deer was nervous.

"Do you want to stop now?" Legosi's nose twitched.

"Of course not!"

The wolf reached up to Louis' face, kissing him again.

Louis reddened and returned it. Legosi could just have his way. Fuck it.

"L-Louis! Touch me...please. Let's try again."

The young buck nodded. He would do what his wolf wanted. His hand slid down as he felt that familiar area...Just how it was last time.

Legosi let out a shuddering breath, clutching Louis tighter. He thrusted up against his touch.

Louis scooted closer and kept his hand down, feeling him up. It was nice over the pants but...No, he was just being a hormonal teenager. He didn't actually want to touch it.

"C-can I touch you now?" Legosi asked, nervously.

He nodded, slowly.

Legosi complied. It was just like that other night. Louis on top of him and the two of them touching each other. Legosi lifted his head up to give Louis pecks on the face.

The deer laughed a bit. Maybe he should stop focusing so much on what his hand was doing? That might help. He focused on Legosi's mouth, his lips, the delicate kisses. But the other half of his mind told him he was doing something special and to pay attention.

Legosi started moaning again. It just felt too good. He'd have to work on suppressing it, but for now he let himself unabashedly voice his pleasure.

Louis didn't realize Legosi would be so...vocal. Considering how shy and quiet he was, usually...

Legosi rubbed Louis faster in response to the intensity of the feeling.

Louis wanted to stick his hand inside his boxers but he was getting nervous again, even though he was very excited. The deer let out a quaking breath. The tugging was back.

Legosi's nether regions got that building, burning feeling once again. He felt tender. He wasn't sure if he should tell Louis or not...His moans grew stranger, and he was making weird faces. He started to pant.

"Legosi...?" Louis' face went completely red. He knew exactly what was happening. He stopped rubbing.

"Hahh...hahh." Legosi opened his eyes slightly.

Louis felt the push in his own drawers and it was uncomfortable. "Are...are you okay...?"

Legosi nodded vigorously. "Pl-please keep going. I'm...I'm...close..."

"But your...underwear..."

"W-we put it in the laundry anyway..." All he knew was that he wanted this, so badly. He squeezed the deer.

"Then I want to do something...If it's okay...I promise I won't look."

Legosi nodded, staring up at the ceiling.

Louis blew air on his face a bit, thanks to his deep exhale. He grabbed Legosi's underwear. "I-I'm going to pull these down a bit, okay? I won't look," he repeated.

Legosi just nodded more. He didn't even care if Louis looked at this point. His mind was filled with desire.

The deer huffed and closed his eye, pulling them down as far as he thought was necessary. He hoped Legosi was still staring at the ceiling.

Legosi had closed his eyes too, panting again. His tail slapped against the mattress.

Louis pulled down his own underwear slowly, until he felt he was free. Calm down...This will feel good...It will feel good...He swallowed, feeling that his throat was dry. Finally, he laid down on Legosi and moved until his hips were positioned with his and their lengths were against one another. He started moving against him, slowly.

Legosi gripped Louis' bare back, letting out a contented hum. He tried his best not to scratch.

Louis felt a bit of claw but he moved along Legosi, feeling the rather large size against his. He tried not to think about what it looked like down there. "Ooh..."

"L-Louis. Louis! Th-this is amazing. You're amazing. You're so amazing! Hahh!" Legosi spread his legs out, bringing them up to wrap around Louis slightly.

Louis was dying inside. He huffed. He was definitely the quieter one of the pair. "Y-you are too, Legosi..."

Legosi had been close before, and now, realizing what they were doing, pushed him over the edge. With a high pitched whine, Legosi released on his and Louis' chest and stomachs, dragging his claws against Louis's back slightly, trying to keep as mindful as he could, but it was difficult.

"Rrrghhh..." Louis was already built up and feeling what just happened got him to climax easily, which he felt very embarrassed about.

Legosi panted, his mind blank. He just stared at Louis. Beautiful Louis.

The deer's eye was still closed. He never wanted to open it and see the mess he made. God, this was so embarrassing. He wanted to hide.

Legosi rubbed Louis all over. "I love you. I love you so much. Louis, I love youuuuu." He kissed his nose, then licked it. His tail was wagging even faster than before.

Louis realized his pants were still down. "Fuck..."

"Y-yeah. It f-felt pretty good, huh?"

"Please don't make me describe it..."

Legosi just chuckled. He became aware of the warm feeling on his stomach fur.

Louis sighed. "Can you...clean it up? I'm too embarrassed to move." His arms shook a bit. "Unless you just want me to die here."

Legosi nodded. He unwrapped his legs from Louis and rolled him off. He looked down at himself. Both of their mess was on him. He blushed. He pulled his underwear back up and stood, walking into the bathroom. His tail was still wagging.

Louis fell back. I just did that with a male carnivore. Will I just evaporate after we have sex?

Legosi ran the sink, dipping a small rag into it and then rubbing it against his stomach fur, getting it wet and matted. He rinsed the rag and wrung it, getting everything out. He then walked out to the main room, unsure of where to look.

Louis is in quite a daze. He didn't know how to feel at all. Someone kill me right now. I'm useless. He turned around and just laid there, curled up, his back to wherever Legosi would come from. He couldn't open his eye at all.

Legosi approached, not wanting to tell Louis his underwear was still down. He tried not to look, but his petite butt was...really cute. Especially with that little tufted tail above it. Legosi sat down on the bed, looking away and handing Louis the rag. "Here. It doesn't look like any got on the bed."

Louis took it and rubbed his chest and stomach, opening his eyes to look down at his work when he realized his pants were still down. He yelped and pulled them up quickly. "Shit!"

Legosi laughed, bashfully. He reached out and rubbed Louis' back. His tail was still wagging like nuts.

He turned around. "You saw, didn't you?" He was looking at Legosi's gentle, smiling face. "I didn't predict you being so happy after that..."

Legosi's smile was so wide, all of his teeth showing and his eyes almost closed. "That...was amazing."

"Yeah...I'll admit, it was. I still wanted you to eat me, but...I held out." Just seeing those teeth, now…

Legosi laid down next to Louis and hugged him from behind, tail audibly hitting the bed. "I'm so proud of you, Louis!"

"I didn't get to see anything I wanted to, because I was so nervous if I looked and saw...I honestly don't know."

"Louis! It's alright, Louis! Just think about how good it felt..."

"Did you...um...Like what you saw?"

"Um...your butt is really cute..."

"Don't say that!" He buried his face in his hands. "You're the bottom, YOU have the cute butt."

"B-bottom? What?"

"Sorry, but it's obvious."

"What...does it mean?"

Louis cleared his throat. "You want to...take." He hoped he knew what that meant.

Legosi's face was confused, but then his ears perked up, and his mouth went slightly agape. He then brought his hand to his mouth, looking away as his ears flapped. "W-well, if you think it's fair, I can show you my butt since I...I saw yours."

Louis blushed. "You're just saying that because you want to!"

"Well? Do you?" Legosi's eyes were screwed shut as he leaned into him.

"You got me..."

Legosi rolled on his stomach, his rear facing up. "You can, uh, pull the underwear down and look, then. If you want."

"Wow. Thanks. Make me do all the work."

Legosi's tail was wagging still, making it a bit difficult.

Louis sighed. "Your tail is in the way."

Legosi reached down and held it, making his legs kick a bit, but not enough to cause problems.

Louis sighed and grabbed the waistline, beginning to pull his pants down. "Are you...sure?"

Legosi nodded. His eyes were now closed.

He rolled his eyes and pulled them down all the way, freeing that round butt from its prison. "Well...Uh..." Oh god, oh god, oh god, what the fuck do I do? It's the cutest butt I've ever seen…

Legosi had his face buried into his arms. "Y-yeah?"

He moved his hand along it. "I just...I don't know what to say. We are definitely going to do whatever we can to...copulate, though."

Legosi kicked his legs more at that, and the touch. "A-ah, y-yes. Mhm." Legosi squirmed on the bed. "And I didn't even need a muzzle for today..."

Louis blushed and took his hands away. "I'm very proud of you. Did you...have the urge to eat me?"

Legosi thought about the question. All of his senses were in overload during the ordeal, so it was hard to say. "...I don't think so?"

"You don't...think so?" Louis continued to stare. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I really couldn't think straight there. It was all so much, so I can't say for sure..." Legosi looked away. "Well...I had the urge to put my mouth around you...maybe around your shoulder or...somewhere. But I didn't want to bite. I don't know."

"Mhm..." He ran his hand along his tushie and then all the way to the tip of his tail.

Legosi shivered at the sensation as he grabbed the comforter. "So, whether or not that could...become something bad. I don't know."

Louis leaned to the side and looked at his head. "Are you sure?"

Legosi shrugged, or performed the closest he could to a shrug while laying on his stomach. "It could have just been me wanting to be even closer to you. But, who's to say that's not a way carnivorous instincts can manifest?"

The deer shook his head. "Well...You didn't try anything this time, though you clawed my back a bit."

Legosi turned his head around and looked at Louis. "O-oh! I'm sorry! Do you need it wrapped up?"

"That would look ridiculous, wouldn't you say?"

Legosi pulled his underwear up and grabbed Louis gently by the shoulder, turning him around to see his back. There were faint pink lines drug down it, but nothing bleeding. Legosi let out a sigh of relief. "If I ever gave you scars like Bill gave me, I'd never forgive myself."

"We just have to be careful." Louis smiled. "Can I see yours?"

Legosi cocked his head. He guessed Louis really never had seen his scars up close. Plus his fur had grown over it quite well. He nodded and turned around for him, sitting cross legged on the bed.

Louis gazed at them. "He really wasn't thinking about how that would affect you, was he? I guess...both of you weren't."

Legosi laughed. "We were both just really upset. Me moreso." Legosi swayed back and forth slightly, still basking in his afterglow. "He's a nice animal, but I still think it's hypocritical of him to go to the Black Market while still being friends with the herbivore club members..."

"He's a case."

Legosi let out an amused huff. "Well, maybe we can all work on him together. Without punching him." Legosi shook his head. They had just had their first intimate experience and they were talking about Bill? He cleared his throat and looked back toward the living area and kitchen. "So...gonna finish making that cake?"

"Haru-chan left."

"...I like carrot cake."

"Oh so you want it." He looked at the scars and ran his fingers along them. "..."

"I want anything you make, honestly. Unless it might kill me."

"I'll make sure that doesn't happen." He moved along the lines, feeling each one.

"Oh yeah, and there's the homework I have to do too." All of that seemed like it was weeks ago, despite it only being about an hour.

"Yeah...Back to it, I guess..." But his hands still trailed the scars. Somehow...feeling them...It made him feel like he was doing something no one else was allowed to. Granted, what they did before, but this was different.

Legosi let out a slow and contented breath. He didn't know if things would improve after today regarding Louis' health, but after what had just happened, he couldn't help but feel hopeful. Louis had, after all, said he would try.

"How do you feel about these scars?"

Legosi made a thoughtful noise. "They don't bother me. Nobody can see them and they don't hurt anymore."

"But knowing you have something permanent like this..."

Legosi smiled. "It'll just remind me of the time I told myself enough was enough and it was time to act on my feelings. I actually sort of like it. It's proof that it happened."

"Turn around. It's my turn to show you something." He paused. "...By choice." He softened his gaze and made sure Legosi's eyes were looking at his one.

Legosi's face held a sense of wonder. He nodded to Louis.

The deer moved his hand down slowly and grabbed one of the wolf's, pulling it to his face, resting on his eyepatch. "If you're ready."

"I am."

"Then go ahead." His hand disappeared. It was up to Legosi now.

Legosi peeled back that small black circle, revealing the horrible scar that formed all those months ago.

Louis' other eye held his gaze. He took a deep, nervous, breath.

Legosi smiled softly, moving his hands to cup Louis' face. He moved his face forward, bringing his lips to the scar and kissing it, very softly.

Louis blinked. "I...didn't expect that."

Legosi hugged him tightly around the back of his neck. "I'm so glad you're still alive."

"Me too..."

Legosi squeezed harder.

Louis felt his eye still free, unused to the air hitting it. "Does it look...bad?"

His mte nuzzled his nose into the fur on his deer's back. "Nothing about you could ever look bad."

Louis gave a crooked smile. "I had the feeling you might run away. It's hideous."

"It isn't. Do you think my scars are hideous?"

"I think they're beautiful."

Legosi smiled. "Then you know how I feel."

Louis got off the bed and stretched. "I'm still wearing the eyepatch, though." He moved it back to cover it. "I'm going to finish that cake, then."

"Alright!"