Author's Note: hey o

Disclaimer- Don't own the show. No profit had. Blah, blah, blah- the usual technical jargon.

Chapter Forty-Nine:

Blinking awake, Jane quickly lifted her head from the pillow and looked blearily around. She was on her stomach, curled over into the middle of the bed, and it felt like she'd been startled awake by something, but she couldn't see very well around her in the dark. Nothing seemed particularly out of place, no movement that might have tripped her senses. She sunk back down a little and curled her arm up near her head before stretching out a kink in her side. It took several moments for her to realize that she was not supposed to be able to stretch that far, that she alone in the room, and the bed was empty except for her. "Maur?" Slurred, the name barely tumbled out as she levered herself up. She tried closing one eye and rubbing away the sleep to make the world come more into focus, but it remained too dark to see much besides the aching emptiness around her. No sign of the woman from what little she could see though. Her brain woke enough to remind her that that wasn't good. She sat up and drug her hand over the sheets beside her experimentally, finding them cool to the touch.

It had been empty for a while then.

A clatter of muffled sound came from beyond the door, startling her into immediately stumbling up out of the bed and over to the door. Her apartment was all dark shadows and muted shifts of light except for a small beam entering the hall from the direction of the living room and kitchen. Padding over to it, Jane twisted around the corner to scan the rooms beyond. The living room was shadowed and a little foreboding, the light not enough to completely drive away the darkness outside the mostly drawn curtains. Most of the light came from the kitchen.

Maura was in there, standing at the stove in the kitchen. She had her tongue just barely peeking out between her lips as she attempted to lift something to check it. Her other arm was in her sling and looked cleanly wrapped again.

Well, that was something at least. "Maura?" She croaked, slumping with relief, her shoulder against the entry keeping her upright. "What are you doing?"

A little jump showed that the doctor hadn't heard her coming and hadn't expected her quite yet. "Oh! Morning." Maura called when she'd shaken away her startlement, trying with one hand to angle the pan she'd been using from the stove over to the plates and shake food out onto the waiting surfaces.

"Here, let me-" Jane quickly moved to help, but with a shake of her head, Maura cut her off.

"No!" The doctor pulled the pan out of reach and gave her a pout. "I managed to make breakfast all on my own, with one hand, and I'm quite proud of it. You've been taking enough care of me, I'm doing a little something to take care of you. Now sit and stop trying to interrupt."

A little speechless, Jane looked at her for a minute, frowned, and finally huffed. She moved to the stools on the other side of the counter and sat.

"There wasn't a lot in your fridge." Maura finished tipping eggs onto their plates and set the pan down with a clatter, shaking her hand hard as if it hurt from holding the heavy cookware up, but just as quickly moving over to the toaster where two pieces of toast had already popped up before Jane got there. "I found a bag with eggs, juice, and bread in it on one of the shelves that looked like it was put there recently. By your mother perhaps?"

Jane blinked. "Ah, yeah, probably. She's always bringing food over here. I guess old habits die hard, even when you're worried your son may be dying."

A shrug. "It's a good thing, regardless." Shaking her head, Maura sent her a quick, annoyed glare. "The only other thing in there was a questionable looking tupperware, and barbecue sauce that looks as though it's been there since the fifty's."

"Aw, come on. It does not."

"The best by date is more than five months old." The woman gave her a look.

"Okay- I admit, that's worse than I thought, but those dates are always a little off. You can eat food for a while after it's passed that date."

"I will take your word for that, since I never intend to find out if that's really true by experimenting with it." Maura murmured, finishing with their simple plates and carrying one over to set in front of her.

Actually realizing she was starving, Jane pulled the plate closer and took a huge bite from the toast. It wasn't fancy, it wasn't even buttered, but it was tasty to her. She hummed appreciatively.

Maura smiled wide and pulled out silverware from the rack beside the sink before grabbing her own plate. Coming over to sit next to Jane, she winced hard as she climbed up onto the stool, but shook her head when Jane raised an eyebrow at her, asking if she needed help. She passed her a fork instead and finally started to dig into the scrambled eggs herself.

Frowning at the fork she'd been handed, Jane thought about where it had come from. Her dish rack had most certainly been empty when they got here. "You did dishes." She looked over at Maura.

The doctor pinked slightly, her head ducking into her shoulders just a little before she straightened herself and nodded. "Yes. Some."

"You don't have to do that, Maur." Jane answered softly.

"There weren't any clean ones we could use."

"You know what I mean." She wasn't going to let the blonde distract her with facts. Just because there weren't any to use, didn't mean that she had to do any of this because she felt like she had to or that she owed Jane something for letting her stay here. Besides, there were a lot more dishes in that rack than they'd be using.

"I-I know." Maura said, sounding surprised and a little guilty. "But- I wanted to."

"I'm guessing you didn't do the dishes one handed." She wasn't really asking, because she knew the answer already. Maura hadn't woken up before her and taken the time to rewrap her arm, or to put it up in its sling right away. It had probably started hurting badly while she was washing dishes and she'd only stopped to wrap it up when it got to be too painful. "Maura." Her tone reflected her anger and exasperation.

"It's wrapped up now and I'm fine." The doctor said petulantly, picking at her eggs now as if she'd lost her appetite. She looked suddenly deflated.

With a deep breath, Jane got her anger and concern under control. It wasn't helping anyone- she was only ruining Maura's surprise and hard work. She fell silent and let them eat, watching closely to make sure that most of Maura's food ended up in her mouth instead of just being moved about her plate. Comfortingly, the second the blonde was sure the grilling was over, she tucked back into her food with small, yet eager mouthfuls.

When they'd both finished and after Jane insisted on taking the dishes in to rinse them herself, they moved together over to the couch and sat. She switched on a lamp to brighten the room warmly, but it did nothing for the awkward air that settled over them. They were sitting far enough apart to not be touching and glanced at each other anxiously every now and then.

Finally, Jane figured she'd better start some kind of conversation, or they'd be liable to just sit there like idiots for hours. "W-e should talk. About..." She pressed her lips together, feeling like a stupid teenager.

Giving her a concerned frown, Maura's free hand bunched into the throw tossed on her side of the couch, as if trying to ground herself to something. "Do... uh, do you regret..."

"What? NO!" Quickly, Jane reached out and grabbed Maura's hand before it could be pulled away. "That's not- I just think we should discuss it, so we're both on the same page."

Nodding slowly, the doctor seemed to understand. "Okay." She looked up into Jane's eyes. "We had sex."

A half-scoff, half-chuckle escaped Jane's throat abruptly, as she blinked slowly in shock.

Maura was nothing if not blunt and accurate to a fault.

She tilted her head and looked up at the other woman with a "really?" look.

"You said we should talk about it." Maura defended. "In that case, I don't know what you have against saying it out loud."

"I meant more like... discussing how we both feel about what happened. You know? Where we both see this leading, whether we want to keep it to ourselves because of the timing of it all, and whether we should talk about rules for next time based on what we did or didn't like. Or hell even just talking about what we are- cause I'm not sure I know."

"Are we something?" Maura asked quietly, looking down at their hands.

"I think so, yes."

Maura's gaze fled back up to hers in surprise and she smiled hesitantly, squeezing Jane's fingers gently. "Me too."

"Well, good. That's one thing settled." She let that sink in for a while and contemplated her reasons for starting this conversation in the first place. They were adults. Adults talked about sex and feelings and made sure that all avenues of communication were open to allow enthusiastic consent to pass between them at all times, not just in the heat of the moment. Or at least they were supposed to. She supposed she wanted that with Maura. She wanted them to be something.

Sometimes, you just had to take a deep breath and plunge in.

"Maura, I- really enjoyed what happened. I know it was kinda unexpected, kinda quick considering we haven't known each other very long, and maybe a little inappropriate considering that I'm a cop and you're supposed to be my CI. But I'd be lying if I said I cared about any of that." She squeezed Maura's hand gently. "I think you're sexy, and amazing, and... well, everything else I said in the moment, I meant every word. I need you to know that."

Maura looked so touched that for a moment, it seemed like she was going to burst into tears, but she took a shuddering breath instead and turned more fully to face Jane. "Do... do you think it was inappropriate or too soon, Jane?" She seemed reluctant to ask. "Because I know it's kind of against the rules for you to be involved with me and I wouldn't want to get you in trouble."

"It's probably inappropriate according to someone elses rules and some people might think it's too soon." Jane answered, trying to choose her words carefully. "If my boss were to find out, he would probably think so too. But... I don't really care what other people are going to think. I don't mind getting into trouble for you, Maura. Whether it was bad timing for us, now... well- it's early, certainly. Whether that's bad or not... I don't think so. What about you? What do you think?"

Opening her mouth as if to respond right away, Maura seemed to think better of her knee-jerk response and paused to consider. "I can't say I have much experience with how fast things like this are supposed to come in a... relationship, but I don't think our feelings can have bad timing. Not if they're mutual. Maybe it's because of everything we've been through in such a short amount of time, or maybe because you know the truth about me, or maybe we just fit particularly well together- whatever it is, I feel like it's been ages since I first met you. Like I know you. I... Jane..." It came out weak, but she cleared her throat and started again more strongly. "Jane. I don't have a lot of memories in my life that I look on with... well, any kind of happiness. And to be fair, though I have had sex many times and even a few times outside of my- occupation, I guess you would say- I've never..." She trailed off, brow furrowing as if searching for words. "I have never in my life felt so... so overwhelmed."

"Overwhelmed?" Jane asked worriedly.

"Well. In a good way." Maura amended. "It was wholly different from any other time, in a way I am having trouble describing. I've had sex with a lot of men, Jane. Even a few women. Most, not really by choice. I-I mean, it's not like they would force me. Not usually. But it's not like they were people I knew or wanted to be with."

A pang stabbed through Jane's chest at that, but she didn't let it distract her. "But you wanted to be with me, right?"

Giving her a look that was part love, part chastisement for being an idiot, Maura gripped her hand harder. "Of course I did. I wanted it more than anything. My point is- I feel like that's a happy memory that I get to take with me everywhere, and I may not know the ins and outs of an actual relationship, but I do know one thing. That whatever my future holds, I want you to be a part of it."

"Good." Jane breathed, her own insecurities about what they'd shared finally tamping down. Her chest felt like it might burst with the knowledge that it meant as much to Maura as it had to her. "I was worried for a moment, when I woke up alone."

A look of understanding and then horror passed over Maura's face. "Oh, no! I-I didn't... Is that like a faux pas I don't know about?" She looked genuinely upset at the thought. "I've never stayed the night with someone, I don't know what-"

"Relax. You didn't do anything wrong just because you were in here trying to make me breakfast rather than laying awake in bed. It says more about my insecurities than it does about you. I- can't say I've had the best of luck with relationships."

"Oh?" Maura seemed to unconsciously scoot closer to her, as if settling in to listen.

Jane did the same, till she could wrap her free arm around Maura's shoulders and pull her into the curve of her body. It felt so nice and wonderful, she had to smile stupidly wide, even knowing she probably looked like a fool.

The other woman made a small noise of contentment, sinking into her as if being relieved of a great weight. She spread their joined hands out against their knees, playing with Jane's fingers absently.

"I've dated a few people, was almost engaged once." Jane admitted. "No matter what we shared though, I always kinda felt like it was something I was in because it was expected of me. When I was really young, my parents fought so much, it was like a world war every time I came home from school. My ma can yell like nobody's business and my pops would throw things and hit the walls. I don't know if he ever hit her, but there was always the threat of that hanging over all of us, all the time. My brothers and I would just try to block it out and find something to do out of the house, like we could escape it if we just went far enough. Like it wouldn't just be waiting for us when we came back home. I guess... I stopped trusting that things could work out in any kind of relationship. I stopped trusting people at all, especially after my pop walked out."

Maura breathed in and out. "I'm sorry, Jane."

She shrugged, as if it didn't still hurt like hell every day. "It was for the best really. I like to think that him leaving gave us a chance to not turn out like him, to make ourselves into different people, but it messed us up in other ways. As the youngest, the most sheltered from what my pop was really like, Tommy took it the hardest. Frankie and I were old enough to understand things better and we were too relieved for it to sink in at first."

"Tommy turned to drugs and you have trouble with trust in relationships." Maura murmured. "What about Frankie?"

"He's set to graduate from the police academy next year." She smiled gently. "Can't imagine who he takes after."

"No, can't imagine at all." The doctor's voice betrayed her amusement as she snuggled deeper into her arms.

"Frankie's the best of us. He couldn't be less like our pop if he tried. That's how I know that just having horrible stuff happen to you doesn't make you a horrible person." With their bodies so close, she felt the shift in Maura's demeanor at her words and redoubled her hold of the doctor's hand. "I mean it, Maura."

"I know." Maura said softly. "Did you decide to become a cop before or after your brother became an addict?"

Jane shook her head. "That transparent, am I?"

"Your nature is to sacrifice for your loved ones. I can't say that it surprises me."

"Hey, I could still surprise you." Jane felt a little affronted.

"I'm sure." Maura chuckled. "Next time, I'll have to keep that in mind."

They lapsed into silence, both digesting what had been shared.

"Wait-" Jane looked down abruptly. "Did you say n-next time? You want there to be a next time?"

"Do you?" Maura countered.

She blinked. "Yes." Her mouth answered for her.

"Me too." Maura smiled smugly, and then she frowned. "You said maybe we should set up some rules. Did you have some in mind?"

Chewing on her lower lip, Jane thought about it. "That tongue thing. I want that."

Maura laughed sweetly. "If you keep doing that thing with your hand, you got a deal." She looked up suddenly, looking vulnerable. "No pinning my arms. I don't like that."

"'Kay." Jane agreed hoarsely. "Not that there was anything wrong with it, but leave me a note if you leave the bed first?

"So I really scared you when I wasn't there in bed with you?" Maura asked quietly.

"Well, it doesn't help that I'm supposed to be protecting you, that a man tried to kill you just the other day, and you keep finding yourself under the thumb of a psychopath. But trust me, I've woken up to worse things than an adorable gimp cooking me breakfast. I'd just like to know."

Maura let go of her hand to fiddle with her bound up arm. "Gimp... that means someone who's hurt, right?"

"Yep." Jane kissed the side of Maura's head. "You are a gimp. Hobbled by injury."

The doctor sighed heavily. "I feel more than hobbled. I feel useless."

"Hey. You're not useless."

"If you hadn't been there, Jane... Paul would have killed me."

Jane winced. "You're just injured, Maura. It'll get better."

"I wish I could have done something. I wish I'd been able to keep you from having to use your weapon to kill someone like that."

She looked away.

"It was your first time, wasn't it?"

"How-"

"I'm a doctor. I might have been a little too out of it to notice before, but that doesn't mean I can't tell you've been struggling too, Jane."

"I-" Jane stopped. "Okay. Yes. But I'd do it again."

"Even knowing how much it would hurt you?"

Her voice hardened. "No one hurts my Maura. I'll do whatever it takes to keep you safe."

A small smile tugged on the blonde's lips at that as she looked up at her. "Yours? Does that mean you're laying claim?"

"Pretty sure I already have." She gave her lover a lecherous look to convey her meaning, and chuckled when Maura rolled her eyes and scrunched up her nose cutely. "If you want it more official- than Maura-" Jane threaded their fingers together. "Will you be mine?"

"Pretty sure I already am." Maura answered back, giving her a suggestive look of her own.

She smiled. "Then I, the undersigned, Jane Clementine Rizzoli, wish to lay claim to Maura's heart and position of lover for the foreseeable future. Promising to love, protect, and otherwise please her to the best of my ability. You want that in writing?" Glancing around as if looking for a piece of paper, Jane couldn't help but laugh.

She was joking, but Maura suddenly caught her eye, her look so intense, it stopped Jane's teasing in it's tracks.

The woman leaned into her more, bringing their faces close so that her breath ghosted over Jane's lips before coming the last millimeter to bring their mouths into gentle contact.

A frisson of excitement ran up Jane's spine and she pressed into the kiss harder, bowling Maura over into the cushions. She looked at Maura.

The doctor bore a strange smile, like she was about to start giggling.

"What?" She asked laughingly.

"Clementine?"

"Shut up."