"So... what now?"

What now? If Lily was willing to try, and so was James, what now? They were together? Just like that?

James was a little dizzy. His head was spinning. He had forgotten how heavy the air felt when Lily was near. How every cell in his body ached with the urge to get closer to her. How the simple sight of her made him breathe effortlessly.

They stood in front of each other, only inches apart. What now?

"Now," said Sirius, clapping his hands together. "Now, you guys promise to make me the best man at your wedding, and also the godfather of your first born child."

"Don't need to take us quite that far," said Lily coldly, holding up her palm as a signal for Sirius to calm down. Her tone was sharp but there was the shadow of a smile at the corner of her lips. She looked happy. "Now, I think James and I need to talk. Alone, if you don't mind," she added with a glance at Sirius.

"Do what you gotta do. I'll be out of your hair. Definitely not spying on you. On a totally unrelated note, where's your Cloak, Prongs?"

James opened his mouth to answer but found himself incapable of uttering a single word. His tongue felt heavy in his mouth, and it wasn't only due to the Firewhisky.

His entire world had been turned upside down. Everything he had ever wanted had never felt so close. It was right there, at his fingertips. He was living it.

He closed his mouth because he couldn't stay anything.

"I think you broke James," Sirius whispered to Lily, just loud enough for James to hear.

"Can you go please?" replied Lily in the same tone.

Sirius rolled his eyes and gave James a pat on the back before walking back to the Gryffindor Tower.

"I love him but he can be a little obnoxious sometimes." Lily had a smile on her face as she watched Sirius disappear at the turn of a corner.

James didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say. What to do. And judging from the look of confusion Lily shot him, she didn't know either.

"Are you okay?" she said softly.

"Yeah." James barely managed to speak through the knot in his throat. "I just... I didn't expect this."

"Me either."

They smiled at each other. The shy, tender smile only lovers share. She was so beautiful, and the way she was looking at him, well, that was even better.

There was so much there, so much history between them. So many words they had said but didn't mean, so many they had meant but didn't say. Right then, right there, it felt like a clean slate. Like they had wiped the past from their memories and made the conscious choice to start over.

To love each other.

"There's a lot we need to talk about," said Lily. "Starting with what you said earlier."

"Wh- What did I say?"

"That you loved me."

James' heart dropped inside his chest. He hadn't realized. The words he had always wanted to say to her, he had said them. Without thinking. Without a second of hesitation.

Just seconds ago, when she had opened the door and walked into the hallway, when he had seen her, there really hadn't been anything else he could have said.

"Do you?" Lily continued. "Do you love me? Really?"

Six years of memories burst into James' mind. Six years, and all the times he had wanted to tell her that he loved her.

In first year, when she told him off after he pulled on her ponytail. In second year, when she picked up the book that had slipped from his hands. The first time she laughed at one of his jokes. The first time she smiled at him. The first time she kissed him.

Lily in the library, studying before an exam. Lily tucking her hair behind her ear. Lily pink from the cold, Lily pink from sunburn. Lily bent over a cauldron. Lily laughing, Lily crying, Lily screaming. Lily tired, Lily sweaty, Lily sleepy. Sick. Focused. Angry. Happy. Her freckles, her laugh, her hair, her voice and her words, the very way she stood.

He loved her, and every single side of her. There was nothing about her he hadn't seen and adored.

He had been wrong. It wasn't a clean state they started on. It was the buildup of six years of profound, unconditional love.

"James?"

"I love you," he said, shouted, declared to Lily, for the entire world to hear. "I love you," he whispered, pulling her closer, pushing her hair from her face, kissing her gently. "I love you," he hurled the words at the wind, placed them on her lips, he made them real. "I love you. I have loved you ever since the day I first met you. And everyday after that."

Those were the truest words he had ever spoken. The very best ones. Because finally he could say them, freely, and without fear. Finally there was nothing holding him back.

There were tears on Lily's cheeks, but her smile was so wild James was not afraid. He was brave.

"Why are you crying?"

"I'm so happy," she said. "I'm so fucking happy."

"Me too."

For a second, he wished he could read her mind. He wanted to know exactly what she was thinking, how she was feeling. But that moment only lasted a second. Because her eyes, full of light, they told him everything he wanted to know.

He lowered his head to press his forehead against hers. It felt so right. Standing like this, inches apart, his hands on her waist, her hands on his shoulders. Like nothing could ever come in between them.

Like they were endless.

This moment was so long awaited, James had so much expectations behind it, there was no way it was going to be perfect. Yet, somehow, it was.

"What now?" James asked again. "Are you my girlfriend?"

"Yeah." Lily's voice was shaky, a little breathy. "I guess so."

"It's scary, isn't it?"

"Yeah. It is."

It was. James didn't want to mess up.

"We should get back to the common room," said Lily. "The Head Boy and Head Girl missing from the party is not going to go unnoticed. People will talk."

"Yeah."

Neither of them moved.

"Rumors will start."

"I think it's fair to assume that with Sirius up there, rumors have already started."

"Yeah, he was way too excited."

Still embracing each other, they started swaying together, dancing slowly in the middle of the quiet corridor.

"The girls are going to be so disappointed," said Lily suddenly.

"What girls?"

"The girls you were dancing with. They were desperate for your attention. Elena was looking at you so much, I don't think she blinked once in the entire evening."

James couldn't help a smile.

"Were you jealous, Evans?"

Lily pulled away for a short second to look at James properly then shook her head and huffed in denial.

"No, of course I wasn't jealous. I don't care that she kept touching your arm and playing with her hair. And that Rose kept bringing you drinks you didn't ask for."

James bit his lip and repressed the laughter he felt growing inside of him.

"I think you were jealous."

"No, I wasn't! Shut up!"

James mimicked locking his lips and throwing away the key over his shoulders, and Lily laughed.

It was the most beautiful sound, filling him, shaking him, shaping him into someone he had never been before. A boyfriend. A partner.

Lily's laugh echoed on the walls and it surrounded them, made it all real.

She pressed a featherlight kiss against his lips and squeezed him tighter. He rested his chin on the top of her head. She was so small. So fragile. Like any wrong movement could snap her in half.

They were so vulnerable. So young. The both of them, they were teenagers, caught in a war of proportions they couldn't imagine. Tangled in a love which would take dimensions they could never expect.

They were so scared. For all the right reasons and a few silly ones.

"What if it doesn't work?" Lily asked softly. Her head was resting on James' chest as if she was listening to his heart beat. "Between us. What if it's not meant to be? What if we break up? We're Head Boy and Head Girl, we can't let our feelings get in the way of our duty."

"Oh, we don't have to worry about that. I went through so much to have you... I'm not letting you go. Not ever."

"How do you know?"

"I know because I used to believe in 'meant to be'. I believed in the fairytale, the destiny. I believed that things happened for a reason, that there was a plan. And I've been proven wrong, time and time again. Sirius isn't my brother because it was meant to be. He's my brother because his biological family tortured him for years and because he had no choice than to flee to survive. Mary's death wasn't meant to be. It never should have happened. Meant to be doesn't exist. Life is what we make of it. It's our choices, what we decide, the paths we take. You and I, we're not meant to be together. It took me six years to realize it. But I choose you and I will keep choosing you. For the rest of my life."

Lily took a step back, tearing herself away from James' arms. There were tears welling up in her eyes, but she was still smiling.

"When did you get so smart?"

"I'm not smart," James shrugged. "Just... realist, I'd say."

"Realist," Lily repeated, shaking her head softly. "Funny. I've always thought of you as an idealist. I thought you would be the type of person who believes in soulmates."

"Oh, I do."

"You do? Doesn't it go against everything you just said?"

"Maybe," said James, and he smiled. "But there are two things you should know about me. The first: I'm an unreliable narrator. I'm inconsistent. The things I believe in don't always match up and it's okay, because this one does. I believe soulmates are the people who keep choosing each other, over and over, even though it's not meant to be."

"And what's the second thing I should know about you?"

"The second thing?" James reached for his wand, in his back pocket. Lily tilted her head in confusion.

He didn't know if he could do it. He had only done it once after all. But a simple look at Lily gave him the strength and the courage to try. The butterflies in his stomach, the certainty his heart was going to burst, the chill of hope, everything he was feeling, everything comforted him.

He could do it. After all, this was the happiest moment of his life.

"Expecto Patronum!"

The deer, grand and majestic, ran down the corridor before walking back to them. It shook its antlers and bent down its neck in front of Lily. Its silver glow of the Patronus illuminated everything around and reflected on the stones of the castle like moonlight does.

But Lily's smile. Her smile was a thousand times as bright.

It only took a flick of her wand for the silver doe to appear. It was just as graceful as the deer, simply smaller in size and it didn't have antlers. The doe nestled its head under the deer's and they blinked slowly at the couple in front of them.

It wasn't meant to be. But it sure felt like it.