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Chapter 44 - Time
Now that they were outside, Clary saw how dark it had gotten. They were in Magnus's bathroom, Jace was dressing Clary's wound wrapping in more bandages after he cleaned it. Clary could see the look of guilt on his face and it pissed her off. Honestly she barely noticed the cut. She felt a slightly sharp sting, but then it dulled. After all the pain she went through, she supposed she had built up a small tolerance.
Then again thoughts like that brought Clarys mind back to Jonathan and she had to shake her head slightly to get them out of her mind. "Am I hurting you?" Jace asked at the sight of her shaking her head. "No I'm fine." Clary looked at her arm and smiled "Nice, but I wouldn't suggest you try to be a medic." Jace smiled at that.
A fire message came and Jace caught it. "It's from Alec, Magic is back on. Well Magnus's is. He created a portal so Katerina could leave. He'll be here soon to take me back too." Jace said the last part frowning and Clary's own smile faded. It was inevitable, but she wished they wouldn't have to be parted.
Staying together every minute would be ridiculous. But after a year... Clary also wished she didn't have to rely on poor Magnus to constantly create portals for them. But if she said anything she knew what he would say. "Biscuit, if it's to keep you safe, it doesn't matter."
Clary stood up and she walked over to the patio when she started feeling slightly dizzy. She closed her eyes tight, when she opened them the feeling was gone. "Simon!" Simon jumped from her shout which made her laugh. "Jace is leaving, so it's just us for the night." Jace walked up next to her on the patio and held her hand.
Just then a portal opened and Magnus stepped through it. It was clear he didn't want to stay so he just created another portal. This one most likely lead to New York. After kissing Jace once he left through one portal whilst Magnus stepped through the next. Her night following was uneventful, and truthfully she was grateful for that.
Clary looked up, night had completely fallen and the blackened sky was sparkling with stars. At first she thought she could see the stars because there were no city lights here. But the bright glow of the demon towers would no doubt drown them out. No matter the reason, she was happy they were visible.
Simon looked at her with a large smile. "What do you want to do?" He asked her, like a child wanting to play a game. "Sleep" was merely all Clary replied. After everything she had went through today, she was exhausted. Clary roused Simon because she knew Jace would have done it. Simon needed to be alert to watch over her.
Clary walked over to the bed Magnus summoned and laid down. She knew she didn't need to sleep outside anymore. The book didn't possess her, and Jace would say it would be safer indoors. But they were in Alicante, nothing could get to her here and she liked sleeping under the stars. She was still amazed at how every day in Idris was so beautiful.
When Clary woke after a peaceful sleep she saw that Jace not come yet. This was odd because after searching a bit she couldn't find Simon either. She was alone. Well, she thought she was till she heard a noise behind her. "Oh, you're awake." Clary had a wide smile on. That was not Jace's voice.
Clary turned around and went to hug Izzy. "What are you doing here?" Clary asked. Although she just saw Izzy she was so happy to see her. Maybe because each time she saw one of her friends it felt like she had not seen them in months. That still begged the question, where was Jace? Why did no one wake her?
Seeing Clarys confusion Izzy explained "I convinced Jace that I wanted to spend some time together with you." Izzy smiled looking down. "I think he forgets sometimes that he isn't the only one who missed you." She looked back up at a smiling Clary who felt she would love to spend a day with Izzy. Even if it made her feel guilty that she wasn't with Jace.
Then Clary recalled something. "But, you're the head of the Institute, you need to be there." Clary said to Izzy. "I know, and Jace tried to make that argument too. So I just told him to take over for the day. And to continue Simons training. Besides, if I was to come, it could only be during the day." Very true, Izzy would need to be there to hunt at night.
"Why didn't you wake me up?" Clary wondered. She asked leading Izzy further into the manor. "I figured you needed time to rest after everything." Clary sighed, Izzy was right. She did wake up feeling much more peaceful. Even if her favorite pillow (Jace's bare chest) wasn't there. Clary blushed as she thought of that, but Izzy didn't seem to notice.
Clary gave Izzy a short tour, including the crown moulding. She went upstairs to show her what she really wanted to. It was Jace's nursery. "This is my favorite place in the manor. It's one of the only two places not covered in dust. The other being Stephen study. I'm sure it was Imogen, she started cleaning this after learning about Jace."
Clary saw how they both started gathering dust. In the nursery's case once more. "I'm going to start cleaning them again for her." Clary walked forward and took ahold of one of the colorless herons on the crystal mobile that above from the crib. Every other heron was a see through blue flying among the other clear colorless ones that looked like pure glass.
"If I was ever to have a child with Jace, I would want them to have have this mobile." Clary said smiling as she still looking at the heron in her hand. "It is my favorite item in this room." Clary looked up at Izzy smiling then brought her to the room she shared with Jace in the manor. Izzy looked around impressed.
"This place is amazing." Izzy said as she jumped and laid down on the bed. It was clear she was enjoying herself here. Being in a place such as this was much more her style Clary thought. "I want to show you the weapons room later. It is amazing, me and Jace trained down there. I think you would appreciate it."
"Jace was training you?" Izzy said with a smirk. "I may not be a shadowhunter but I can still fight. Jace was so terrified of hurting me. He treated me like glass, as if I was a flower." Izzy smiled. "Well I won't, come on." Izzy got up to follow Clarys lead. "I won't go easy on-" Clary didn't hear Izzy finish so she looked back.
Izzy wasn't behind Clary, nor was the room. She looked front and saw her way in front of her had changed as well. Clary felt very puzzled, where was she. "What the..."
Clary blinked and look around her. She looked around her but all she saw was white. The last thing she remembered was being with Izzy, they were headed towards the training room. Clary was happy to spend some quality time with Izzy after so long. Had she passed out? Was this a dream?
Clary jumped slightly at the sound of a voice behind her. "Good to see you again." Clary quickly turned around and saw...nothing. Then something blurred and came into view. It was a man with his hands folded in front of him. His face retained the white glow all around her and she could not make out his voice either.
Clary knew she had to prepare herself for a fight but he didn't do anything. "Where am I? I was with Jace and the others. I was-" "You woke up...again." the man said cutting her off. "What do you mean woke up?" Clary asked. By the look of everything, this seemed more likely to be the dream. She also wondered what he meant by again?
"Everything, well nearly everything, you have experienced till this point has been a dream." Clary shook her head. "That's impossible. Everything has felt too incredibly realistic." Clary couldn't see his face yet she had a feeling he was smiling. "Yet it is still false." Clary shook her head. "No, this has to be a spell."
Clary then wondered how a spell could effect her if she was wearing Isaacs ring so she looked down at her hand. It was there, so how?... "See, not real." Clary was getting annoyed. "Then I'm dreaming. You are not real." The man chuckled "I'm very real, everything else isn't."
Clary didn't know how to counter this other than say "How can my imagination conjure up all of this." She asked, referring to what he was eluding to as merely a dream. The man suddenly became serious. "Because it didn't." This only confused Clary more, so he elaborated.
"What you just woke up from was a possible timeline. This isn't the first time I spoke with you. Each previous time was from a different possible timeline. You are playing out how life would take place if you were awake." After all the amazing things he said she only particularly took notice of the last.
"Awake?" Clary as him. "You're in a coma Clary. You're at the hospital." Clary's jaw dropped. "I said nearly everything. The last real thing you experienced, was being attacked outside your friends apartment." Clary recalled the demon that nearly killed her. "No, Simon removed the poison and Magnus healed me. Then Katerina took care of me at the hospital."
Clary recounted that time him all that she remembered. "You never woke up at the hospital Clary. When you fell into the coma something happened." He paused expecting her to say something but Clary just listened intently. "It was as if time froze. The only time moving forward was in your mind. Playing out scenario after scenario of what would happen if you woke up."
Clary was having a difficult time wondering how it was even possible to do all of that. Then again, he did say it wasn't her. "If I didn't create this, who did?" Clary asked. "Can you honestly think of no one?" he answered her cryptically, a question for a question. Ithuriel, Clary thought to herself and somehow he knew she realized who it was.
"I've seen each possible outcome, so far. The one you just woke from is the closest you can get to reality. Ithuriel was able to reach and warn you in it." Clary wondered what he was talking about. "I didn't speak to Ithuriel." She didn't summon him as far as she recalled. Truthfully she was afraid to again.
"Think Clary, Ithuriel reached you." Clary became annoyed. "Why can't you just tell me things instead of waiting for me to figure it out. I didn't speak to Ithuriel he-" Then Clary stopped a little surprised as she thought back to when she was trapped in the nightmare spell. "The nightmare, the dream, when I was under Isaacs spell. He kept telling me to wake up. I thought he meant from the spell, but he really meant from-" "The coma" the man finished for her.
"Ithuriel has been keeping you alive, but to do so he had to stop everything. Nothing continues in the reality, everything is frozen. But stopping time for so long would cause an imbalance. Thus he made it so time would continue only within you. But not only one time line. Multiple ones that could take place if you ever woke."
"In the nightmare Ithuriel said not every angel was against you. I understand your connection. An angelic connection such as that would normally mean absolute trust. He would not lie. I suspect when he said not every angel was against you, he did it to spare your feelings." Clary noticed a sense of pity in the mans voice.
He walked toward Clary and her eyes followed him as he circled her. "Angels are not forgiving. I believe Ithuriel cares too much for you to not do so. Choose to be merciful." Clary understood just about everything. Perhaps even why the mere closeness between them gave her chills. An unease she could not shake.
Suddenly Clary felt an ache within her chest and placed a hand on it. It was one of those times your thoughts are accidentally spoken aloud and the filter between mind and mouth is missing. She didn't know why she said it, she didn't even realize before it was too late. "Why do you want me dead." Clary asked him.
The man didn't reply and Clary didn't have to see his face to know he was smirking. She was glaring at him now with clenched fists preparing to fight if needed. "Very clever Clary. The me you're speaking with now does not. In your dreams however. The one thing that always remains the same is your enemy being me."
"But I can't tell you before you find out. Foreknowledge is dangerous. What you need to do now is wake up." Clary thought he was being ridiculous. People couldn't will themselves to awaken from a coma. "If I am comatose, I cant make myself wake up." She told him. To which he replied "You can if you pull one of the possible timelines to the surface and make them real."
Clary didn't see how on earth she could be capable of doing such a thing. "You can't wake up from the coma and start from that point, in the hospital. Time went on within you. That does not merely involve your life Clary, and you need to choose how it did. Pick a timeline, bring it to the surface. I suggest your most recent. That is when all you have dreamt till this point will become reality."
Clary understood what he was saying but she also knew she was not strong enough. "I can't." She merely said looking down. "I'm not here to hold your hand and encourage you. I've had this same conversation multiple times. Each time you failed." This did not help Clary's lack of confidence. If anything it was discouraging her.
"You're right. You may have failed because you lacked the strength to do this, or perhaps I finally succeeded in killing you. You are lacking in power. After all what I'm requesting is impossible for even a shadowhunter, and you are a mundane. But you have a blood connection with an angel. That is why I believe you can do this."
"Even though I said this many times, I do still believe it." Clary raised her head surprised that, that small speech helped. "Be warned the me you will return to will be the one who wants to kill you." Clary nodded. Not that it mattered, she didn't even know who he was anyway.
"Time will move on the same way, you trying to kill me. Will I find out who you are and the reason for that?" Clary asked very curious. "Will I ever see this less violent side of you again?" She asked that second question softly and almost sadly. Clary was to return to the part of him who wanted to kill her. Would she ever see this normal side of him again?
The man didn't answer her. Without being able to see his face she could not tell if he was ignoring her question, or searching for an answer. Finally he spoke "Thinking if the me within your dreams, I can't give you a definite answer. That question could be answered by either you see this me again, or the me from your dreams changes." Clary frown at that.
"Either way, do not fail in this timeline, hopefully this time you will be successful." And again her confidence dropped. Clary didn't know what went wrong in each timeline because she couldn't remember any others. What she should or shouldn't do unlike the previous ones. "I assume this dream may work best. Ithuriel was able to speak with you in this. Also as I said it is the most recent."
Clary bit her lip "What will happen?" She asked "You will return to the dream you have chosen, in this case the current one since you failed within the others, at the point you had woken up. From then on try to bring it to the surface. It's the only way to get out of the coma and for time to reset. You won't be at the hospital if you wake. Time went forward, at which moment you pulled yourself out of the dream will be where you are in reality. It will become reality."
Clary then asked. "In my dream I was healed after the attack. But you are saying I was not. How will that moment in time play out if I succeed?" She assumed she puzzled him with this question because it took a moment for him to answer her.
"It could overwrite the original timeline and make it so it was not as serious, or still remain the same. Even a new outcome is possible. Time is delicate we don't know what will happen till it happens. We just have to wait till you accomplish this." he told her.
"And if I can't?" Clary asked. "Then yet another timeline will begin and I will have to have this conversation again." She sensed a touch of annoyance in his voice at that. "But how would I even go about trying to make a dream a reality?" Clary said this with a somewhat pleading tone in her voice, begging for answers.
Clary suddenly remembered he said he was not there to help her. But she had to be given some sort of clue, a hint of how she could do this. Staying alive was one thing, but doing this? She'd prefer to continue merely trying to avoid death than this absurdity.
"You keep forgetting these aren't mere dreams. They are lives you would have lived had you really been able to overcome the elapid attack. Stop thinking you are trying to make your dreams real. Make the life within you real." He said this calmly. Clary didn't know why, but the last sentence sounded almost poetic to her.
Clary took a deep breath then closed her eyes. When she opened them again she saw the hallway in front of her that lead out of the room. "-you" She heard someone say as they walked into her. It was as if no time had passed though it had felt like an hour. It was Izzy following her.
Pull it into reality? How? Clary thought. She felt foolish for not asking more questions, but she couldn't think of what else to ask either.
Clary thought that perhaps he evaded her questions on how to do this and asked her to solve it because he himself did not have the answers. Regardless, it was her "dream" after all. Only she would be able to do it, that is, if she could.
The only reason Clary believed all this nonsense was because she was awake at the moment within this world, meaning she couldn't be dreaming all she had learned from the man just now. Even in a dream, Clary didn't think she could come up with all that had happened to her up to this point. It was too fantastical for her imagination. And even though it felt so real, it wasn't, at least not yet.
After bumping into Clary, Izzy saw her spacing out and not walking anymore. "Clary?" she asked. Clary looked over her shoulder at Izzy but her mind was still elsewhere. Clary blinked and shook her head then slowly sat down on the bed and kept her head down. Izzy got down on one knee in front of her. "Clary, are you alright?"
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Author's Note
Started the New Year off with a two week virus. But it gave me inspiration to write a 3,465 long chapter. Not that I should get sick more often. I don't know if you shadowhunters will like this twist. Hopefully you will. This was not looked over by my beta, so I hope it isn't so bad. Please give me your thoughts especially this chapter on the way I went with this story. How my changes are.
Please Review!
Be Honest But Be Nice! = )
See you next time Shadowhunters!