Gideon walked slowly along the corridors of the clinic, slowing down more and more as he was approaching the desired one. Having reached the next fork, he stopped and, lowering his head, took a few deep breaths.
"Okay." After standing like that for a while, he shook himself, squaring his shoulders and finally took a step for the turn, almost colliding with his sisters.
Charlotte, wearing blue surgical scrubs, was stroking the back of the tear-stained Rachel, who was washing her face right there in the drinking fountain. Gideon was silent for a while.
"Hi." he finally gasped.
"Gideon." Rachel turned to him and hung on his neck, starting to cry again.
"Shsh…" He tightly pressed his sister to him, shaking her slightly. "Hush, baby girl."
"I thought you were in Seattle." She laid her head on his shoulder.
"I was there." Gideon confirmed. "Until David called me."
"How could this happen?" Rachel asked through tears. "Everything was fine in the evening. I talked with dad; everything was in perfect order with him. How could this happen? I can't believe it, I don't want to."
"I know, dear." He softly kissed her temple and turned to his second sister. "How are you?" He carefully laid a hand on Charlotte's shoulder.
"I don't know." she answered quietly. "I haven't understood yet. I had just finished the operation. Then David told me. And now I need to prepare for operating on a very temperamental and complicated child. No time to comprehend it."
"David will replace you." Gideon said, not very confidently.
"No." Charlotte shook her head. "He can't. The boy trusts no one else but me."
"You still won't be able to operate." He looked at her sister, bewildered.
"Rauer will operate." She closed her eyes and turned her head, flexing her neck. "The problem is that if I am not around, nothing will work. We have all gone through this. I need to sit with him before we start, talk, calm him down and then I need to be around and explain to him what we are doing while he is being anesthetized and getting withdrawn".
"Well, you can hold off on that for right now." Gideon said doubtfully.
"No." Charlotte objected. "He can't wait for me to be in order. It's good that you came." She glanced at her watch. "I have to go and mom is still there…" she nodded vaguely, "With dad. It's necessary to somehow take her away from there. Several hours have passed, the body needs to be…" she stammered and closing her eyes tight, leaned against her brother, resting her forehead on his shoulder.
He held her tightly against him, kissing the top of her head.
"It would probably be better to keep her in the clinic." she continued. "Or go home with her and take one of our therapists with you. I don't know. She doesn't even cry. She's just sitting there. David should come over any minute now. Decide with him. He was called for a consultation but he had been here all this time with our mother, so he knows the situation better."
"I get it." He squeezed her shoulders for a few moments. "Go on. Call me when you're done."
Nodding silently, she gently freed herself from his hands and walked away quickly, wiping her eyes and straightening her hair along the way.
"Have you been here a long time?" Gideon turned back to Rachel.
"I don't know..." she answered uncertainly. "We couldn't get through to mom for a long time. When she finally answered, she only said that dad was in the clinic and that she would call later, there was no time to talk now. And we still waited some time for her to call back…" She fell silent, interlacing and massaging her fingers. "We didn't come right away." she said again. "We didn't come right away." she repeated.
"Don't think about it." He stroked his sister's shoulder. "Is Aaron here?" He asked.
"No." Rachel shook her head. "He left. He had things to do".
"Oh, really?" Gideon grinned slightly, pulling out the phone. "Judy? I need you to come to David's clinic... It happened... No, everything is fine with me. I need you to take Rachel... Honey, not over the phone. Are the children still sleeping?... Great. Then get in the car and come right away. We'll be waiting for you downstairs in the hall." He turned off and hugged his sister. "Judy will pick you up and take you to our place, okay?"
After escorting his sister to the hall and waiting with her for his wife to arrive, he returned to the intensive care unit and, after a little pause at the door, entered the ward.
The Queen was sitting on the edge of the bed completely motionless, not paying any attention to the person entering. Her pale frozen face practically didn't differ from the face of her husband, on which her gaze had stopped. She looked at him inseparably and, it seemed, without even blinking. For a while, Gideon was frozen in place, looking at his father. His calm, unexpectedly smooth face, as if ten years younger. For a second he thought he was smiling. And that surprised him the most. It was impossible, the muscles can't freeze in tension but it was just so. His father smiled faintly and looked completely happy. He shook his head, went to the bed and quietly called out:
"Mother?"
Regina didn't move, still not noticing him.
"Mom, how are you?" He lightly touched her shoulder, leaning towards her.
"No how." the Queen answered colorlessly, still not moving from her place and not looking away.
"Come with me." Gideon crouched next to his mother, hugging her by the shoulders. "You stayed here all night, you need to sleep." He carefully leaned her against him, stroking her hands a little.
"I don't want to." she answered calmly without turning back.
"Come on," Gideon spoke quietly, continuing to stroke her. "Your face is white as a sheet, you are so pale."
"It's okay." she answered shortly.
For a while they sat in silence.
"I should be the one supporting the three of you now." the Queen finally said, still looking at her husband. "You are my children."
"No, mom." He hugged her tightly and buried his nose in her hair. "Don't do anything."
Both were silent for a long time.
"Where's Rachel?" Regina finally spoke.
"Judy will take her to our house." her son answered.
"Good." the Queen nodded slightly.
"Charlotte is here." Gideon began.
"I know." his mother stopped him. "It's probably even better. Let her be distracted."
Her voice, empty and cold, sounded unusual and Gideon could hardly recognize it. He pulled away a little from his mother, looking at her as if to make sure it was indeed her.
Dr. Stern entered the room.
"Gideon." Going up to them, he laid a hand on the man's shoulder.
"Hello, David." he answered, covering his palm with his own.
"You know, I probably don't know what to say for the first time in my life." the doctor said after a pause.
"What can be said here?" Gideon turned to his conversationalist. "We're feeling the same regardless."
Stern nodded silently.
"Regina." he spoke again after a while. "It's time."
"I know." the Queen replied, barely audibly. "Just a couple more minutes and I'll leave. Don't worry."
"You need to sleep." David continued. "Let's go, I'll put you to bed and give you a sleeping medicine injection."
"No, I don't want to." Regina shook her head slightly.
She leaned toward her husband, ran her fingers across his cheek and slowly kissed his temple. Then she took his hand.
"Everything will be fine." the Queen whispered, clutching his cold palm. "Everything will be fine." she repeated, kissing him again.
Getting upright, she straightened his blanket and turned to her son:
"Will you take me home?"
"Of course, Mom." Gideon nodded.
"Regina, I think it's best you stay here." the doctor looked at her with concern. "Not for long, just in case."
"David, I don't want to." Regina sighed wearily. "I want to go home." she stood, leaning on her son's hand, and headed for the exit.
"Give us a couple of sleeping medicine ampoules and whatever else we may need." Gideon whispered to Stern.
"Can you inject it by yourself?" Stern quietly asked.
"I can." the man confirmed. "Don't worry; everything will be fine with us".
Entering the house, the Queen put her shoes neatly on a shelf in the hallway, in a row with several pairs of her husband's shoes. She fixed everything so the shoes were perfectly even. Then she went into the living room, looking around thoughtfully. On the table near the sofa there was a book and next to it there were glasses. Regina turned the pages. Having found a bookmark, she read a few phrases and returned the book to its place.
"Judy and Rachel are probably waiting for you." She turned to Gideon, who wasn't standing far from her. "And the children."
"I'll stay here a little longer if you don't mind." he said. "Do you want anything? You haven't eaten or drank a thing since yesterday."
The Queen shook her head. Going to the mantelpiece, she splashed herself some whiskey and gulped down the glass.
"I need to be alone for some time." she said softly. "I would like to be your mother and be with you now but I can't, I'm sorry. I have no strength for this."
"It isn't necessary." He went to his mother and put an arm around her shoulders. "But I'll be very worried if you stay here alone. I'll just sit quietly in the corner, okay?"
"You know, I'm probably going to lay down." She gently freed herself from his hands and headed for the stairs.
"Good." He nodded after her. "I'm here if you need anything."
"Good." the Queen echoed.
Entering the bedroom, she leaned back against the door and closed her eyes, breathing deeply. After standing like that for a while, she went to the closet. Opening it, she scooped up an armful of jackets and shirts. She buried her face in them. She buried her nose. Swaying from side to side with them hanging on the hangers. She took off the first jacket from its hunger, put it on and buried her nose in the sleeve, hugging herself. And then she finally burst into tears, crawling to the floor of the closet door, pulling a few more jackets and shirts after her. Lying on the floor, she cried soundlessly. Panting with tears, scratching the fabric of the shirt she was clutching in her hands, digging her nails into it, biting it with all her might so as not to scream. As to not let Gideon hear her scream.
After the tears were over, she laid on the floor for quite some time, unable to move. Counting her inhales and exhales, looking at the carved leg of the bed. Eventually she managed to get up. Throwing off her jacket, she pulled off the dress that had been on her since the evening, blew her nose into it and threw it into the corner crumpled. Then she wrapped herself in her husband's robe that was lying on the armchair and sat on the edge of the bed, on his side. She stroked his pillow with her palm and then she grabbed it and pressed it on herself, eagerly drawing in his smell. She lay curled up around his pillow, wrapped in his robe. And so, enveloped on all sides by his smell, fell into sleep.
When she woke up, she didn't immediately remember what had happened, at first reaching for her husband and wondering why she was lying on his side of the bed. Awareness came quickly and suddenly, causing her to curl into a ball again with a groan as the whole picture restructured in her memory.
"Okay." She sat up, shook her head and went to the bathroom.
After washing her face, she changed into her clothes and went downstairs, finding Charlotte in the kitchen. She was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee and a laptop.
"How are you?" Her daughter asked anxiously, looking at her mother over the screen.
"As if they've scraped me all over with a curette, everywhere." she answered uncertainly. "Where is Gideon?"
"He needed to stop by at work." Charlotte stood up, poured coffee into a cup and set it on the opposite side of the table. "Will you?"
"I will." the Queen sat down at the table. "How was the operation?" She asked after a pause. "All is well?"
"Just fine." The daughter nodded.
"And how are you?" Regina asked.
"Fine." Charlotte repeated. "Listen Mom, can Derek, Lizzy and I live here with you for a little while?" She asked after a pause.
"This is your home." the Queen shrugged. "If you want to live here, you don't need to ask."
"The important thing is what you want." she carefully looked at her mother. "Gideon and I, both of us, would like to come back here for a while. If you are ready to accept us all. Together with our husbands and wives and children."
"Honey, this is your home." Regina repeated. "There is enough space for everyone here. And I'll be glad to see you." she said without any certainty.
"Good." The girl smiled.
"We need to call the Trentons." the Queen said after drinking a few sips of coffee. "And arrange everything. The funeral, the wake, the funeral luncheon, whatever else is usually there. And we need to know how many people will come to the wake…"
"Don't worry." Charlotte interrupted. "We will do everything. Gideon will call Isaac today, he'll arrange everything. In the evening, Aunt Regina will fly to the city, she will also help if necessary. I'm already working on a list of those who want to come and say goodbye. You don't have to think about it."
"Really? And what do you suggest I'd think about?" Her mother scoffed sarcastically. "Okay, I'm sorry." she added, looking at her daughter's face. "Don't pay attention to me, I didn't mean that."
"I know, Mom." her daughter assured her.
"Denise? It's Charlotte again." Holding the phone with her shoulder, the girl was taking notes in a notebook. "Yes, we have plus seven... See for yourself, I don't remember what kind of tables you have... Yes, probably... Well, decide yourself somehow."
"How are you?" Gideon asked, having just appeared in the kitchen of his parents' house.
"My head is spinning." his sister dismissed him, delving deeper into the lists again. "And we still need to figure out how to seat them all. There aren't that many people who can sit next to each other. What do you have? Is everything agreed upon with Isaac?"
"Yes." He nodded. "The wake will be at the town hall and we have a place for a family vault at the alley of the pond in Green Wood."
"A whole vault?" Charlotte said surprised.
"Well, Isaac's father owed a lot to dad." Gideon shrugged. "Just like Isaac himself too. So the new mayor Trenton did his best."
"Yeah." the girl grinned ironically "It's nice we all have a place to lie under. However, we don't have time to build a vault now."
"Well, yes." her brother agreed. "For now we'll have to do without it. We'll finish it afterwards. Have you agreed with mom that we'll all move to her place for a while?"
"It seems so." Charlotte nodded. "Although I cannot say this idea delighted her."
"No wonder." He poured himself coffee and sat down at the table opposite his sister. "Mom used to take care of us, not vice versa. Where is she, by the way?"
"She left." She shrugged.
"What you mean, left?" Gideon tensed. "Where to?"
"To buy herself a dress." Charlotte also took a cup of coffee. "She said she didn't have a single suitable black dress and that she had nothing to wear to accompany dad on his last journey. So she got dressed, gathered her things and left."
"It was necessary to go with her." the man said worriedly.
"It was necessary," his conversationalist agreed, "but she flatly refused. She said she needed to take a walk. Alone".
"And you let her go?" Gideon asked.
"Did I have to tie her up?" She was surprised. "Listen, mom is completely adequate. And the fact that she needs to be alone is completely normal."
"I hope so." He sighed.
A key clicked in the lock and the Queen appeared on the threshold.
"See?" Charlotte smiled.
"Thank God." her brother breathed out. "Mom, hi!" He went into the hallway. "Is everything okay? Did you find what you were looking for?"
"I don't know." She put the packages on the floor. "They're all kind of "not that". Imperfect. But these are all the options. So I have to choose from them."
Her phone rang.
"Louise." The Queen answered the phone. "I'm sorry, I completely forgot about you. Five minutes and I will be there"
"You'll be where?" Gideon asked when she disconnected and put the phone away.
"At the manicurist." She looked around at her nails. "Everything needs to be redone."
"Right now?" her son was surprised.
"Yes." Regina nodded. "Tomorrow your father and I will see each other for the last time. I can't go like that."
Putting on her shoes again, she slipped out the door, leaving Gideon perplexed.
"Fully adequate, you say?" He turned to his sister.
"So what?" She shrugged. "This is her way of dealing with grief. She wants to be beautiful at the funeral. So that everyone can see what a woman dad's wife is. So dad could be proud of her. What's so strange about that?"
"So you can see the logic here?" Gideon asked.
"Of course." his sister assured him.
"Okay." He sat down at the table opposite her again. "Let's go back to the organizational matters."
"Let's cancel everything." The Queen, wrapped in tight black silk, walked around the living room nervously.
"What do you mean by "everything"?" Gideon specified.
"The wake, the funeral luncheon and all this stuff." she grimaced. "I don't want to sit there and listen to what kind of person your father was. And then these stupid funny stories from friends which are usually said at the funeral to somehow cheer everyone up. All of these endless: "how are you" and "hold on". I'm getting sick just by thinking about this all."
"Mom, you know this is impossible." Her son hugged her. "It will be incredibly impolite. Father was dear to all these people, they all want to say goodbye to him. Many will fly from other cities, some even from another continent, for just one day."
"I don't care." She buried her forehead on his shoulder. "I just want to spend some more time with him, stay with him for a little longer. I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to listen to anyone."
"You will have time to be alone with him." He ran a hand through her hair, adjusting her hairpin. "I promise you. But his friends also want to say goodbye to him."
"Friends. If only." the Queen grinned. "Imagine how many people will come in order to meet someone that's very necessary to them. Using your father's name for the last time."
"And they too will remember him with gratitude after." He squeezed her shoulders, clutching her on him. "Come on."
Near the town hall, Charlotte, Derek, Rachel and Judy were waiting for them along with a huge crowd of people, half of whom the Queen had never seen before. Every now and then someone said something to her but she couldn't hear. Her ears rang so much that she wanted to close them shut with her hands. Even through this rumble, the beat of her heart was breaking through. Which, it seemed, was now everywhere and pounded not only in her chest, but also in her temples, in her throat, even in her fingers. She was hot, despite the fact that the day was cloudy and she was only wearing a thin silk dress. Keeping her balance with difficulty, she entered the spacious area of the town hall, reached an elevation at the far end, on which stood a polished mahogany coffin and leaned towards it.
"Hi." she said with her lips. "I've missed you so much."
And the world began to disappear. She felt someone's hands grabbing her, someone sitting her on a chair and then again someone saying something to her. But she couldn't make out the words. Everything was spinning: a series of faces, voices, touches. An endless stream of people floating between her and Gold. Charlotte's hands, which now and then squeezed her. Gideon.
"I'm fine," she said automatically, seeing the question on his face, but not hearing it.
"Mom, it's time to go." She finally managed to hear his words.
"Yes, of course." She nodded, getting up.
Green Wood was filled with greenery and birds and the sun's rays gradually began to break through the clouds, falling on the foliage. People were already silent. The funeral workers checked once again the tape and mechanism. Regina, bending over to her husband, whispered something in his ear for a long time. Finally, she straightened up, stepped back a few steps and buried herself in her son's chest who pressed her to him, nodding to the workers. She tried to turn around when the mechanism turned on but her son held her tightly, slowly stepping back with her.
"Mom?" A girl of about three looked into the kitchen. "Walk with me?"
"Lizzy, a little later." Charlotte smiled. "I need to finish the article now."
"Okay." the girl sighed. "And when will dad come?"
"Dad will come tomorrow morning." her mother answered, delving deeper into the screen. "He's on duty today."
"I see."
A key clicked in the lock and the girl hurried to the hallway, where she ran into her uncle.
"Lizzy!" Gideon smiled. "I haven't seen you for almost three weeks. How are you?"
"Fine." the baby shrugged.
"Hold this." He took out a translucent organza bag from his briefcase and handed it to his niece. "This is a bracelet, the one you wanted."
"Thank you." The girl hid the bag in her skirt pocket and reached out to kiss her uncle.
"Won't you take a look?" Gideon was surprised.
"I will, later." the little girl answered without enthusiasm.
"You're not in the mood?" he asked her.
"I'm waiting for mom to finish working so we can take a walk." she sighed. "She's been promising me all day."
"I see." The man smiled. "Okay, wait a little bit and you and I will go to the park."
"Of course." His niece nodded.
"What's new in San Diego?" Looking up from her laptop, Charlotte glanced at her brother who entered the kitchen of their parental house.
"Everything's okay." He leaned over to Judy who was sitting next to Charlotte and kissed her. "The licenses for gold mining have been extended. What news do we have here?"
"Well, there's something." His sister smiled. "She still refuses to leave the house and practically doesn't talk. But yesterday she was able to eat a whole bowl of soup."
"Are these all our achievements?" Gideon asked.
"Is that not enough of an achievement?" She was surprised. "A whole bowl!" She emphasized. "Not just three spoons and then being all: "I can't, I feel like throwing up". For the first time in three months."
"Perhaps it's quite an achievement." her brother agreed, sitting down at the table next to his wife.
"I can't even describe to you how much I've missed you." Judy snuggled up to her husband.
"Well, you'll show me later." He grinned, kissing her again.
Lizzy walked around the living room, examining the trinkets on the shelves once again. Then she went upstairs to her grandmother's bedroom.
Regina was sitting on the floor, her legs pulled up to her chest, her forehead buried in her knees. Her shoulders trembled a little.
"Are you crying?" the baby-girl asked, stepping closer. "Why are you crying?"
"Because I feel sad." Regina answered without looking up.
"You're sad because grandpa died." The girl sat next to her. "Because you are alone now, without grandpa. But, you know, you should never bring yourself to tears." She stroked her grandmother on the shoulder. "Please no more tears, okay? Look, I have a doggy." She pulled up a toy which she had been pulling along all the time on a string. "If you click on this button, there will be music. Let's click right now?"
"Lizzy." she hugged the girl and burst into tears in her voice.
"No tears, please." the baby repeated.
"Agreed." Regina smiled through her tears.
"My dad says that grandfather is feeling very well now because he is at the same place as Jesus. And with Jesus everybody feels well."
"Your dad speaks correctly." The Queen sighed, stroking her granddaughter slightly on the back.
"So no more crying." She hugged her grandmother by the neck and kissed her on the cheek. "Will you walk with me?"
"Where do you want to go?" Regina asked.
"To our old playground." the girl answered without thinking. "Where we used to walk until we moved to live here. I want to show my doggy to my friends. Dad just bought it for me yesterday."
"Come on." The Queen stood up and extended a hand to her granddaughter. "We must definitely show your doggy to your friends."
THE END