Watch Out For Sammy

Chapter 30

Much Ado About Something

It was almost eleven o'clock at night when the Fuller's doorbell finally rang. Sarah had long since gone to bed, after making sure that Dean was still sleeping soundly on the couch, and Jake was an hour into a four hour documentary on the Vietnam war. He had just dozed off when the sound of a rumbling car engine roused him and before he'd been able to reconcile the sound of the car's engine with the sleeping boy on his couch, the doorbell rang.

Jake glanced over at Dean, relieved to find him still asleep. He had no doubt in his mind that John Winchester was on the other side of the door and he really wanted a chance to talk to the man before Dean woke up.

When he opened the door, Jake was completely taken by surprise when John barreled his way into the house, one hand dragging an exhausted looking Sam behind him, the other clutched into a fist.

"Where is he, Fuller?"

Jake took a second to gather his senses and then turned around to face John. "He's sleeping." When John turned to head into the living room, Jake reached out a hand to stop him. Fortunately, he stopped himself from actually touching the man. "John, we need to talk."

"You're damn right, we do. Why the hell is my son here, Fuller?"

Before Jake could answer, Sam's voice rang out. "Dean's here, Daddy?"

John didn't answer his son, so Jake knelt down in front of the boy. "Hey, Sam. How are you doing?"

"Hi, Jake. Is Dean really here?" the boy wasn't about to change his focus from the whereabouts of his brother.

"Yeah, he is. He's sleeping on the couch, Sam. Why don't you go check on him? But don't wake him up, okay? He's really tired."

John didn't look like he was happy with another man telling his son what to do, but he didn't stop Sam from heading into the living room. Once the boy was gone, he turned back to Jake. "I asked you a question. Why is my son here?"

"John, I didn't know that Dean was going to come here, if that's what you're thinking. And I didn't bring him here. He showed up on my doorstep around six o'clock. He was tired and hungry, so I invited him in and fed him. We tried to call you."

John ignored that last part, not ready to give up on what he felt was righteous anger. "Why would he come here?"

Jake watched the man for a few seconds, trying to judge how the man was going to take what he was about to say. He finally came to the conclusion that he had no idea what to expect from John Winchester. The man was definitely an enigma. "Sarah and I told your boys that they were always welcome here and that if they ever needed anything…. anything at all….. we'd be here for them. I guess Dean believed us."

John's face darkened for a few seconds, but then it seemed to crumple right in front of him. Jake suddenly found himself feeling sorry for the man standing before him. He suddenly wondered what kind of father he would be if he suddenly found himself raising his children by himself. He figured he probably wouldn't be faring much better. "John, why don't we go into the kitchen and talk for a few minutes?"

"I want to see my boy first," John answered as he stepped towards the living room. Jake followed him and they both looked down to find Sam and Dean sound asleep on the couch. Neither one missed the fact that Dean had curled his body around his little brother and had pulled him in close to his body.

Once John was satisfied with seeing Dean, he followed Jake into the kitchen. "How about some coffee?" Jake asked as John sat down at the table. John nodded his head and Jake moved over to the counter to pour out two cups of coffee. Once he was done, he set a cup down in front of John and then sat down across from him. "Dean was standing outside when I opened the door to get the newspaper. I asked him what happened, but he didn't really tell me. He just said something about you being mad and disappointed about what happened this weekend. And then he said something about being a screw-up. I have no idea what happened today, though."

"I don't really know, either," John admitted. "All I know is that he left school today. Just ran out. And yeah….. I'm mad about that. And I'm mad about what happened this weekend. Dean knows better. He had his orders and he disobeyed them."

"Orders? John, the kid is eleven-years-old."

"I know how old my son is, Fuller. And yes, orders. You may not understand how my family works, but it only works if Dean does what he's supposed to do. And he knows that. So, yes…. He screwed up."

"He didn't say he screwed up, John. He said he's a screw-up. There's a big difference there."

"Dean knows he's not a screw-up."

"Does he? Are you sure about that? Because if you ask me, he sure acted like he believed it. More importantly, he acted like he knew that you believed it."

John didn't answer right away. He lifted his cup up and drained the coffee in one gulp before looking back at Jake. "I know you think I'm a horrible father. And maybe I am. But I love my boys, Fuller. They're everything to me and I try to do right by them. It's not easy, though, because I also have a job to do. Because of that job, I can't be the kind of dad that you are."

"Hey, no one said that I'm the perfect dad, John. I'm sure I make as many mistakes as you do, actually. And I don't doubt for a single minute that you love those boys. But, leaving them alone like that? Leaving Dean to watch over Sam? They're just kids, John."

"I don't need your input on how to raise my boys. You really have no idea what our lives are like."

"I have enough of an idea to know that Sam and Dean deserve better." Jake knew he shouldn't have said what he said, but his frustration was growing with every word that came out of John's mouth. He'd hoped that he would be able to get through to the man, but when John suddenly stood up from the table, nearly knocking his chair over in the process, he knew he'd failed. "John, wait."

But John didn't look back as he made his way back into the living room. Standing over the couch, he pulled the blanket back and nudged Dean's shoulder. "Wake up, Dean," he commanded, his voice brooking nothing but obedience. "Dean!"

At the second call of his name, Dean rolled over onto his back, one of his arms still wrapped around Sam. His eyes fluttered open a few times before finally staying open and once they focused on the form of his father standing over him, Dean immediately sat up, pushing Sam aside in the process. "Dad!"

"Get up, Dean. We're leaving."

"John, wait…." Jake didn't want to send Sam and Dean away with things the way they were. He really wanted to soothe things over and help the Winchester family work through this particular issue. For Dean's sake, especially.

"I'm taking my boys home, Fuller. Let's go, Dean."

Dean immediately stood up, keeping his eyes away from his dad as he tried to wake Sam up. "Sammy! Sammy, wake up. We gotta go."

Sam stirred for a few seconds, but didn't wake completely up. Dean tried again, but it still didn't work.

"Let's go, Dean," John repeated, angrily. "Get your brother."

Dean felt tears burning his eyelids as he finally picked his brother up off of the couch.

"Dean? What's going on?" Sam asked.

"It's okay, Sammy. We're going home." He tried to put his brother down, but Sam just held onto him as tightly as he could. Dean looked over at Jake, who was watching him closely. Jake gave him a small smile and reached his hand out to squeeze Dean's shoulder.

"It was good seeing you, Dean. Remember what I said, okay? You're always welcome here."

"Thanks." Dean looked over at his dad, who was waiting impatiently by the door. He took a few steps forward, but then stopped and turned back to Jake. "Can you…. Can you tell Sarah bye for me? And tell her thanks for dinner?"

"I will." Jake looked over at Sam, who was half asleep in Dean's arms. "Goodbye, Sam."

"Bye," Sam answered quietly.

Jake followed them to the door and watched as they followed John to the Impala. With one last look back, Dean gave Jake a sad smile before climbing into the back seat with Sam.

The ride back to the motel was awkward and scary. Dean kept his focus on Sam, but he was aware of the frequent looks his dad was giving him through the rearview mirror. Occasionally, he would chance a glance at the man, taking in the firm grip he had on the wheel and the tic that was evident in his right cheek. He knew his dad was mad and he knew that it was finally time to face up to all the mistakes he'd made, but the look on the man's face was really intimidating. And scary.

When they finally pulled into the motel parking lot, John got out of the car and went to unlock the door. Dean didn't even bother trying to wake Sam up. Instead, he just picked his little brother up, struggling under his weight as he made his way to the door. Once inside, he put Sam down on their bed and turned to look at his dad.

John was sitting on the couch, leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees, his hands rubbing his face. Dean had no idea how long they stayed like that, but eventually, John dropped his hands from his face. "Go to bed, Dean," he said.

"Dad…"

"Go to bed. We'll talk about this tomorrow."

There was a part of Dean that wanted to just get it all over with…. face the music….. pay the piper. He had been dreading everything for so long and the thought of trying to sleep with it all still hanging over his head was almost too much. The other part of him was just thankful for whatever reprieve he could get. No boy in the history of boys ever really wanted to face their father when they messed up.

Giving his dad one more long look, Dean finally turned and walked into the bathroom. Once he was done taking care of business there, he came back out and quickly changed into his pajamas. Without another word between them, Dean climbed into bed next to his brother and closed his eyes. It was almost two hours later that he finally fell into a fitful sleep.

John sat on the edge of his own bed for several hours, watching both of his boys as they slept. They would never know, but it wasn't unusual for him to do that, especially when he had a lot on his mind. And, boy, did he have a lot on his mind.

He wouldn't ever admit it, but deep down, he knew that Jake Fuller was right. All of these recent events could have been completely avoided if he hadn't left his boys alone. He knew that! If he had a dime for every time he felt guilty for leaving Sam and Dean behind, he'd be rich. But, the drive to find the thing that had killed his wife was too strong. Or maybe it was just that he was too weak to withstand it.

Either way, he knew that he couldn't stop hunting. He just didn't have it in him to do that. He might give it up for a few days or maybe even a few weeks, but eventually the need to hunt would just become too much for him to ignore. He was like an addict that needed a fix, no matter how aware he was that the fix would eventually destroy him.

John was a hunter. He had to hunt.

But, he was also a father. Sometimes that sobering thought was too much for him. Sometimes, he thought that they all would have been better off if he'd just left Sam and Dean with Mike and Kate, all those years ago when they'd offered to take the boys in. His business partner and his wife had been the only thing that kept him from falling into a pit of despair in those first few months after Mary had died. They had been there to take care of the boys while he was in the midst of trying to drown his sorrows in whatever alcohol he could get his hands on. They had offered to watch over Sam and Dean- even offering to adopt them at one point- but John had refused.

He wondered if that refusal had been the ultimate moment of selfishness for him. But, he knew that he couldn't live without his boys. They were everything to him and he knew that they deserved a better life. They also deserved to know that whatever it was that killed their mother was no longer a threat to them. And that was why John chose to hunt.

He wondered if maybe that was just the excuse he told himself to make himself feel better. Whatever it was, he just wasn't strong enough to give up hunting yet. Unfortunately, this meant that the little Winchester family would have to continue to sacrifice what other's thought of as a normal life. Sam and Dean wouldn't ever really lay down roots as long as that evil was still out in the world. They would never be allowed to act like the children they were as long as darkness threatened to consume the light. John knew it wasn't fair to them, but he also knew that life was rarely fair to begin with.

As he watched his boys sleep, he noticed how restless Dean was. He knew that the boy was probably worried about what was coming his way. And he should be, John thought. Dean needed to take responsibility for the choices he made, especially when those choices resulted in the chaos that happened over the weekend.

John shuddered at the thought of what could have happened to his boys. They could have been injured or killed by the stupid gunman in the park. They could have been kidnapped by anyone at any time. They could have been separated while in the custody of the police or CPS. They could have been placed in a home with evil people. And they could have been hurt by the ghost that was residing in the Fuller house.

So many things could have gone wrong at any given moment and it was all because of the choice Dean made to take Sammy to the park. No matter what happened come morning, John had to make sure that Dean understood that.

After several more minutes of watching Sam and Dean sleep, John finally climbed into his own bed. He wasn't looking forward to the coming conversation with his oldest, anymore than Dean was, but he knew it had to happen. And if it had to happen, he figured he'd better get some sleep.

He was asleep within two minutes of putting his head on the pillow.

Author's note: I know it's been a while since I last posted, so I hope this chapter makes up for the wait. Lots of angst to go around and I'm betting that a few of you are going to be even angrier with John. Sorry about that.

Thank you so, so much for sticking with this story, for reading , and for reviewing. I truly appreciate all of you.