Chapter 50: we would always love one another

I cracked open an eye. Seeing that it was dark. I blinked a few times, letting my eyes adjust to the lack of light. Slowly but surely I could see a little better than before. My body felt heavy. My eyes traveled down, to see Sesshomaru sleeping; head on my chest; limbs draped over me. I ran my fingers through his tresses. Listening to him breathe, before I moving his arm, then his leg. He must have been so tired. I had never seen him sleep so heavily before. I sat up taking a deep breath, but I didn't move anymore beyond that. I felt so tired yet I was wide awake. My body was physically tired, but my mind wouldn't let me sleep another second more. My eyes traveled over to the window. The sun was going to rise soon. I sighed, sliding off of the bed. I didn't want to get up but it seemed as though my body was on autopilot again; just more slowly this time. I took a few steps before dropping to my knees with a loud thud. I looked over my shoulder, making sure that I hadn't woken him. I'd pushed my body too far. Abusing the jewel's power like that only added insult to injury. Grabbing onto the bedpost, I shakily stood to my feet. Making my way into the bathroom. I quietly closed the door behind me.

I leaned onto the sink for support; looking up into the mirror. Regretting it after I had done so. I looked like hell. Bags under my eyes. My hair a disheveled mess. I still looked pale, but not as much as before. My eyes the worst. They looked so empty, yet so full of emotion all at the same time. I pried my eyes away from my horrid reflection; trying to focus on anything else. I glanced around at the bathroom. Wooden mahogany floors, creme walls. The tub sat in a little nook below the wide window. I went over to it, turning the water on. I just sat there watching it fill. I felt so... I couldn't even find the words to describe how I felt. What was this? Shock? I had tried to kill a man only a few hours ago. He deserved what happened to him... so why did I feel so; conflicted. I turned off the water, stripping bare. I slipped into the hot water. Letting it ease my aching muscles. All of this was such a mess and I Was feeling so much, but for the first time in my life. I didn't feel the needed to cry. It was all so confusing. Did that make me terrible, insane? Maybe I'd unknowingly taken up after Sesshomaru; ignoring my emotions at the drop of a hat. I pushed the thoughts that plagued me to the back of my mind. Hopefully, they would stay there. I grabbed the soaps shampoo and brush from the bath tray, going to work. Scrubbing my skin and running the brush through my hair after I'd lathered it. I sank under the water, just staying there. Enjoying the feeling of being submerged in the hot water. I closed my eyes; wrapping my arms around myself. This reminded me of the days back in the feudal era. Bathing in the hot springs with Sango. I opened my eyes, seeing a familiar figure standing above the water. I slowly rose from looking him in the eyes. He still looked so exhausted... god, we were all a mess. He was gone yet we had to stay behind and deal with whatever this was. He gingerly held my hand, pulling me from the water, holding me close to him.

"Are you alright?" he whispered.

I returned the hug. "I'm fine Sesshomaru. We both are."

He buried his face into the crook of my neck. "You should have woken me."

"You were tired. You looked like you could use the rest. You let me sleep... so it was my turn to return the favor."

"There is a difference between letting you sleep and having no choice woman."

I laughed, pulling away from him; looking him in the eye, caressing his cheek.

"What about you? Are you okay?"

He averted his eyes from my own. I wouldn't let him off that easy. He had gone through just as much as I had. We'd come too far for him to start reverting now. I took his jaw between my fingers; giving him no choice, but to look at me.

"You can talk to me Sesshomaru," I reassured him.

I let my hand fall to my side. He pressed his forehead to my own.

"I almost lost you... again. I couldn't protect you the way I wanted to. The way that I should have. If it wasn't for the others, who knows Myoga could have done to you... to our child."

"Sesshomaru it is okay."

"No. It is not okay. I should not have to rely on others to keep you safe. You are mine to love and protect. If I cannot protect you, how can I protect our child? I failed you; both of you."

"You did just fine in my eyes. I'm here, aren't I? Who was it that brought me here? You did your part just fine Sesshomaru. I couldn't have asked for anyone to do any better. When I was asleep, I felt this familiar feeling. So warm and gentle. I was in so much pain until that feeling came, and I knew in my heart that it was you. You protected me just fine, and if I had to do it all over again. I would not change a thing. You haven't failed me Sesshomaru. You saved me. You saved us both."

I stared into his eyes as they glossed over. He quickly blinked the almost-tears away. No surprise, he wasn't one to let them fall. He placed a chaste kiss on my forehead.

"What would I do without you?"

"Probably crash and burn," I said, earning me a deep chuckle.

He sighed. "You're pregnant." he'd said, putting a robe around me.

I had forgotten that I was completely naked.

"You seem worried," I said.

"Inuyasha's mother's pregnancy was not an easy one. I should be worried. Right now my happiness is outweighed by fear."

I touched my stomach.

"At least it will be so until I fix it." I heard him say.

I looked up at him. "Fix it how?"

He quickly swept me off my feet, carrying me to the bed. He laid me down, removing his shirt.

I could feel myself blushing. "T-this is how we fix it!? By having sex!?"

"Yes." He said so nonchalantly, crawling on top of me. "This is the most important part."

"How many times?" I asked. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest.

He closed the distance between us. "As many times as your body requires it."

He laced my fingers with his own.

"R-right here!? With everyone in the house. After what just happened?"

"Now is no time to be shy Kagome and It would be unwise to wait. "

My heart-beat faster with each passing second, as his lips inched to mine. Then, the doorbell rang. Thank god.

We all sat in the den. A single man stood by the door, as they cleaned up the mess that was outside. The demon authorities Sesshomaru called them. Dozens of them were outside. I looked out the window they swarmed the driveway, cleaning up every bit of evidence. I looked at everyone's face. Both of our mothers looked so tired... so broken. Sesshomaru's mother seemed to be torn up more. Not that anyone pain was worse than the other, but she just seemed so fragile right now. I would have to ask Sesshomaru about their connection later. I glanced over to Souta, who looked just as out of place as I did. He looked as though he wasn't really sure how to feel. My mama had caught me staring, giving me a weak smile; one that I returned. Her smile did nothing to hide the pain in her eyes. My head snapped in the direction of the window once again. Was that... a cow? I turned my attention to the guard. He stepped aside opening the door. A familiar decrepit walking through the door.

"Quite a mess you have all caused here."

All I could do was stare; my eyes wide and mouth agape. Sesshomaru nudged my arm. My mouth snapped shut as his eyes landed on me.

"Ah Kagome, " he breathed. "So nice to see you again."

"Same to you... Totosai."

He shuffled over to the loveseat by the window.

"Now, why don't you tell me what happened here, from the beginning."

I listened intently as Sesshomaru's mother spoke. I hung on her every word. I could hear the pain in her voice as she spoke about him. Myoga... her mate. How he had gone to her for the mixture that was meant to kill my child. My eyes traveled over to my mama. She was just as shocked as I was, if not more. It seemed as though she was trying to process what she was hearing. I could see how badly she wished for it not to be true. For all of this to be some kind of nightmare. Hoping to wake up soon. To have to sit there and have listen to all of these things about the man you thought you knew. You let someone into your life and give them all of you. Trusting them with what you hold most near and dear; all for it all to go to hell in the worst of ways. I continued to listen, to her, to Sesshomaru and as well as my mama. until it was my time to speak. I explained to him all that I knew; which was not much since I had been asleep for so long. He continued to jot his notes down into his notepad. He stood tucking his notepad inside his jacket pocket.

"Well, it is obvious who was at fault here. What happened here today, was nothing more than family protecting one another, against a monster. I am sorry that you all had to endure such... unnecessary foolishness... some more than others." He looked at everyone. "Well, I hope that you can go back to your everyday lives, and forget what happened here. Even though that may be difficult."

He took a few steps before stopping, in the middle of us; turning to me. "Would you mind following me outside Miss Higurashi? I wish to speak to you. Off the record."

I nodded, but before I could move. Sesshomaru's hand found its way to mine. A concerning look on his face. I kissed the back of his hand.

"I'll be fine. I promise."

I slipped my hand out of his grasp, following after Totosai. We stopped walking once we'd reached the porch. He took a seat on the swing, patting the seat next to him.

I sat down. "What was it that you wanted to talk to me about?"

He looked over at me. "You and Sesshomaru hmm?"

I looked down at my lap. "Yeah... it just kinda happened."

He chuckled. "I bet Inuyasha is cussing up a storm in the afterlife."

I gave a sad smile. "You're right about that one."

"Listen, I am sorry that this happened to you. To all of you. We were put in place to make sure that things like this didn't happen. To make sure demons didn't get too much of a big head in these modern times. Myoga... he never seemed like someone who would do such a thing. I never knew him to be so..." he sighed, trailing off.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "As his friend, I should have known better. Maybe I could have prevented all fo this."

I ran my fingers through my tresses. "You think you know someone," I whispered. "I don't think this could have been avoided. From what I heard in there. Myoga had made up his mind

"Are you alright?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I'm honestly not sure. Maybe I haven't fully processed it yet. Maybe it'll hit me later, or there's a possibility it will never come. Emotions have a funny way of working."

He stood, giving me a sad smile. "Again. I am sorry all of this happened. I hope that you live a life of peace and happiness from now on. The one that you deserve."

He grabbed my hand, placing a light kiss on it.

"Hopefully we never have to meet again under these circumstances," he said as he walked away.

I watched as all the men in black filled into their vans. As for Totosai... his choice of transportation was different. It was Mo Mo. The old bastard had ridden his cow here. He hopped on as if it was nothing and was off, just like that.

"We should be going."

I nearly jumped out of my skin. "What about everyone else?"

"Your brother wishes to return to school, and as for your mother. She said that she would like to stay with my mother for a while longer. I assumed they both have things they would like to discuss."

He held out his hand to me, and I gladly took it.

I watched as Souta drive off. No doubt he was having a hard time with all of this. He had left only minutes after Sesshomaru and Kagome had. I stared out of the window. Directly at the spot where his body had been. I breathed in sharply, prying my eyes away shutting them tightly. However, that did not help. With my eyes shut like this, I could see him more clearly. As if was laying right in front of me. My breathing quicked... I was hyperventilating. It felt like my chest was caving, finding it harder to breathe every time I exhaled. My head snapped behind me when I'd felt something on her shoulder. It was her... Myoga's mate. It was hard for me to admit, but she looked sadder than I did. My heart ached for her, just as much as it did for myself. She hugged me, rubbing circles on my back. I hug I returned. We wept for the same man... the same monsters. Our heads knew that he was evil, but our hearts said something different. I pulled away from her.

"I love him." I felt so dirty saying that ou loud.

She hung her head in shame. "As do I."

She took my hands into her own. "We'll be okay. No one understands what we're feeling. I will be there for you... so long as you can promise me the same because as of right now I am close to falling apart. Despite how badly I want to stay strong. I just can not. I-"

She couldn't even finish her sentence. She broke out into sobs. This strong powerful demoness reduced to tears. I wrapped my arms around her, holding on tightly.

"I promise to be there for you," I whispered.

We needed each other. I wasn't sure for how long, but I would be here for however long she needed me. At least a beautiful friendship would come from something so tragic and ugly. I sighed, continuing to hold her. Everything was going to be okay.

I sat on the couch looking over the city. It was my favorite spot to sit in the entire apartment. The twinkling lights of the city were so beautiful; so calming. I needed calm after the day that I'd just had. I had been waiting for Sesshomaru to get out of the shower. I breathed deeply. It was all over. I was home. We were all home and we were going to be a family. It was all over. I felt this pain in my chest, and my lip began to quiver my vision blurring. The tears from my eyes just flowed and flowed. I gripped the quilt, bringing it to my chin. Now, of all time it had to be now. I had to feel this now.

"How could he?" I whispered harshly.

He was supposed to be my father. He was supposed to care for me. Not hurt the people that I care about. I gripped the quilt even tighter. How could he? Didn't he think about what this would have done to everyone!? To me. That selfish bastard. He was dead and gone, but we were still here. We all would have to deal with this wreck that he had left behind. I buried my face into the quilt, quietly sobbing. I could feel my body shaking. I felt a pair of strong arms wrapped around, wet locks clinging to my skin. He was always saving me from myself. I was losing my mind only a matter of moments ago. Yet, being held like this by him, made me feel like everything was going to be alright.

"I don't want to feel like this."

He sighed. "Someone once told me that it is alright to feel. Holding it in will do you no good. I know that better than anyone. It is alright, just let it out."

Once I'd heard the words let it out, I bawled uncontrollably. I cried and he just held me. Whispering reassuring words in my ear. I was so grateful for him, especially at this moment. However long it had taken my tears had finally stopped. We just laid there in silence. I listened to the sound of his heart beating. I sat up, turning to him.

"I love you. I've never said that until now."

He gave me a small smile. "You did not have to tell me what I already knew."

I placed my hands on either side of his face. Inching closer to him, but he stopped me.

"You do not have to do this Kagome, not now. Not because of what I-."

I pressed my thumb to his lips, hushing him.

"I am free to do as I please remember?"

I pressed my lips to his gently; the were so soft. I felt his arms snake around my waist, pulling closer to him. Leaving not an inch of space between us. Being with him like this, made me feel better than I had in these past few days. He pulled his lips away from mine. I whined already missing them. He held me close. Standing he carried me over to the bedroom. He st me down, undressing me. Leaving trails of wet kisses, on my bare skin. It tingled every time his lips touched me. He laid me down. His eyes lidded as they looked over my body. I felt so vulnerable beneath his gaze. I could feel myself blushing again. I tried to cover myself with my arms, but he stopped me.

"Do not hide." He whispered. "Not from me."

I slowly moved my arms away, watching him strip before me. God, was he a sight be marveled. My breathing became heavy. I could hear him inhaling deeply. Locking eyes with him, I could see his amber orbs tinged with red. He came closer; trailing his hot breath over my skin. His lips gently brushing against my nipple. It made me shiver. He locked eye with me once more. Amber had been completely engulfed by red.

"Kagome." He breathed.

He trailed his claw against my thigh. My heart pounded inside my chest. He got on his knees, snaking his arms around my waist placing his face in the crook of my neck. My nipples brushing against his chest. I could feel his tongue trail over the mark. I could feel the wetness beginning to pool between my thighs. I didn't want him to stop. I watched him, leaving kisses from my neck down to my inner thigh. I put my hands on his shoulders. I swallowed hard trying to catch my breath. I had never wanted someone bad in my entire life.

He looked up at me, cupping my face in his hand, bringing me closer to him with the other. He moved his hand, trailing his thumb over my erect nipple. My back arched in response. He leaned over, his large frame towering over me. Looking me in the eyes. They were filled with red, but they were the softest I had ever seen them. He positioned himself at my entrance. Thrusting into me in one quick motion. My legs had locked around his waist. He grabbed me, picking me upright. Thrusting into me from beneath. Deep, long strokes. Sent shivers up my spine with each movement. My eyes were shut tight as I reveled in the pleasure. I moan slipped passed my lips. His mouth latched onto my nipple. My nails digging into his shoulders as I felt his teeth on my nipple. I couldn't think straight. He slid into me deeply, not pulling out.

"Look at me." He ordered.

I opened my eyes, staring into his own. He began to thrust again. Picking up the pace this time. Each thrust caused a throaty moan to erupt. I could feel my eyes beginning to close. The pleasure was too much.

"Close your eyes and I will stop." He whispered in my ear.

I kept my eyes locked on his own. His hands gripped my thighs as he kept them spread. I gripped the sheets, feeling my climax coming. My skin felt as though electricity danced across it. My breathing hastened and my chest heaved. I looked into the eyes of the man that I loved as he made me feel... better than I ever had. My arms and legs locked around his large frame as he thrust into me. I just held onto him as he made me feel it all. His pace quickened, going deeper and deeper. Until he buried deep within me, emptying his seed. I threw my head back in ecstasy. No loud dramatic scream just hastened breath, as my lung sucked in air. He pulled me close, rolling onto his back.

"Today, " he began. "we begin the rest of our lives together. All three of us. "He said kissing the top of my head.

I smiled into his chest. It was over.. and we were going to fine. No matter what we had to push through. Or, any amount of wreckage left behind. We would always be okay. As long as each had each other, everything would be fine. I was sure of that much. We were lovers scattered across time. That had found their way to one another under the strangest of circumstances. Regardless of how difficult this journey was. He was mine and I was his and this child was ours. Our story had been set in stone. Together or apart... we would always love one another.