Chapter 35: You're Not A Mather

"What room is this?" Bella asked.

"This is the conference room." Meredith said as she ushered the girl in, she looked around and sighed "I um. I don't know what to give you. I'm sure you're already over color crayons?" Bella curled her lip up in detest "Right."

"What are we doing in here anyway?"

"I need to go find Derek." She said, "And you can't be wandering the halls, I'll be right back so just…just stay here and…look at stuff."

"How motherly of you." Bella muttered under her breath.

Meredith frowned and heard a knock on the glass, she turned to see Christina and breathed a sigh of relief. She gave Bella a glance, but she was already wandering around the room. She turned and walked to the door, opening it and standing in the doorway. Christina was looking curiously over her shoulder.

"What's with the kid, is she lost?" Christina asked, "I know you're not babysitting."

"Um." Meredith sighed "There's no right way to say this, and you can't be mad at me for not telling you but…I have a daughter."

Christina tipped her head back in laughter but saw that Meredith wasn't laughing, she widened her eyes as she glanced in the room again.

"You're serious."

"I got pregnant my freshman year of college, actually a month before I started." Meredith mumbled "And I…I couldn't have a baby. There was no way I could be a mom. So, I gave her to a nice family." Then, I continued on with my education; I even tested out of college classes and received my bachelors two years early. Finally, I went to med school, came here, and that's that.

"So, where is this family now?"

"Dead."

"Dead?"

"As in six feet under, dead."

"Ok." Christina frowned "So why did they bring her to you?"

"I'm her mother."

"Meredith." Christina snorted "You're not a mother."

"Christina."

"No." Christina shook her head "You are not a mother. You are Dr. Meredith Grey, neurosurgeon god. You eat interns for lunch, and you work insane hours. You think that just because social services want to dump her off here instead of deal with her themselves that you can be a Mommy overnight? No. You are not a mother."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." Meredith muttered. "And fuck you too."

"You know the door is open right?" Bella called out "I can hear you."

Meredith gulped and took a step out the door and closed it behind her. "Shit."

"See, you can't go a day without sounding like a sailor, you think that's good for a kid to hear?"

"I don't know."

"Think about it Meredith, think about what's best for the kid." Christina sighed as her pager went off "I gotta run."

Meredith stood there and thought about what Christina said as she watched Bella flip through a medical book. She felt someone come up behind her and place their arm around her waist. She closed her eyes and inhaled his scent as she rested her head against his soft shoulder.

"Hey." She whispered.

"Hey." He replied, "She found you."

"She found me."

"What do you think?"

"Fuck, I don't know." She mumbled "She needs someone."

"I agree."

"She needs a June Cleaver." She said and turned to face him "Derek I am not a mother."

"You're Bella's mother."

"I'm not a mother." She shook her head "I'm the doctor who kicks everyone's asses, I'm the one that makes interns tremble just walking by them, I work a hundred hours a week minimum. And…and I cuss like a boat full of pirates. I'm not a mother."

"It's something that's learned Meredith, no one is born a mother." He said, "You need help."

"How." She frowned "How can you help me?"

"I have sisters."

"Having sisters is different than having a child Derek. I doubt your sisters will tell me that they let you tell them what bedtime was."

"No." he said, "But those sisters have lots of kids... and I have uncle experience."

"Oh." She mumbled and rose a brow "You have sisters."

"I have sisters." He smiled "And I'm here for you."

"I'm sorry." She mumbled remorsefully.

"For what?"

"For this." She pointed to the room "It's not what we planned for."

"What in life is?" he asked "I never planned for anything to happen that has, and I couldn't be happier."

"You're happy about this?"

"I'm happy about this."

Do you think that it was fair of Christina to say that Meredith is not a mother?