A Thousand Reasons
Author's Note: Just to let you know there's a really long A/N at the end of chapter 37, it explains some of my absence but not enough and if you PM or review I'll try and message back, but I'm still going through some things and I might not respond right away though I'll really put in an effort to try.
Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia Axis Powers, but I do own my overly random plotline and any OCs I throw in.
Chapter 35: All the Difference
"Arthur," Lovina greeted. "I see you are as prompt as ever."
"Yes, of course," Arthur agreed, nervously stepping out of the way. "May I introduce you…"
"There's no need for that, Arthur," Morgana interrupted. "She knows well who I am and why I am here."
Lovina nodded. "It has been quite some time, Signora del Gioco."
"Still calling me that after all these years?" Morgana asked amused.
Lovina shrugged. "You were ever the only one to best grandfather and it amuses me to think that he failed at something that actually had nothing to do with raising my brother or myself."
Morgana nodded solemnly.
"I take it you will be joining Alfred and I?" Lovina asked. Leading them into the living room where Alfred waited with Antonia and Lovino.
"No other choice, I'm afraid, dear," Morgana agreed.
"No, I much doubted there would be," Lovina conceded the point. Having learned that magic was a component in what went wrong, of course, the lady of magic herself would become involved.
"Mama?" Lovino prodded inquiringly, Antonia looking at Morgana with distrust.
Morgana smiled at them, before addressing Lovina, "You have raised them well on your own. I can see much of yourself in them, and know of your pride in them even without hearing you speak of your young."
"Lovino, Antonia, this is the Lady of many names, the queen and embodiment of the magic that courses through the people who live in the world," Lovina stated. "Signora del Gioco, these are my children, Lovino and Antonia."
"Well met, young ones," the lady greeted with a smile.
"Hang on a tick," Arthur interrupted. "How do you even know her?"
Lovina's amusement shone in her eyes and her lips quirked into a smile. Morgana was the one who answered. "She comes from old family lines, Arthur, of course I know her. I hadn't known she had children until today though, but I can feel the magic in them is quite strong."
"A high compliment indeed," Lovina agreed. "How have you been, Lady?"
"Quite well, all things considered," Morgana idly commented, but the sad look in her eyes was telling.
"So you were aware?" Lovina asked. Not that she needed the confirmation, the magic that tied nations to the land may not necessarily be among the more common forms, but it was still magic that the Lady herself would be aware of any changes that may affect the land.
"Quite saddened as well. You were more than what others assumed. You did not deserve the treatment you had that drove you to that point."
"Yet, that is where I ended up." Lovina shrugged. There was no changing that. Who she was then and who she is now, she thinks she might not have relinquished control, rather, let Canada be her proxy as she took an extended rest perhaps. Maybe she would have chosen to remain and would simply have dealt with things as she always had. She hadn't given it any thought, hadn't bothered to think back on that moment. If there were any regrets, what good were they to her?
Morgana looked at her curiously. "Would you do it again?"
"Who knows," Lovina murmured softly. Such thoughts were distractions she couldn't afford. Such thoughts devastated her, because all those ifs would drown her under regrets and longings. Such thoughts made her to wonder if she'd even have her children, the lights of her life.
Morgana looked at her knowingly. Really, it wasn't that she hadn't had such thoughts, just that there was no need to dwell on them. She loves her life. She's gone through things, she's loved, but the most important thing is that she's living. She didn't make a choice arbitrarily. She didn't choose anything without taking things into consideration. Sometimes things may have seemed like there was only one choice or one path, but she still chose to walk it. She made her choices knowing things might not be okay and she lives with it.
"You are never as alone as you think you are," Morgana said cryptically, choosing to look around the home Lovina had built.
Lovina looked at Arthur and Alfred a bit confused. Arthur shrugged, not wanting to try and interpret the words of a being far older than himself, but Alfred offered a small clarification. "Others may not understand or it may seem like others aren't listening to you, but sometimes they try to help in little ways that can be misinterpreted. They try to help in ways they think is helping but might make things worse or they try to avoid offering help because they think it'll offend someone else and it can isolate someone. People are people and there are always going to be people who care, it's why thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of people volunteer services like working in shelters, care-giving, crisis centers, call centers, emergency services, victim services, and tons of other things where people help others. It's not just a business, it's about helping others."
The explanation said more about Alfred and who he was as an individual, and possibly a nation, than it did humanity, but maybe that was enough. It was enough of a reason to explain quirks of nations. It was enough of an explanation to explain why Turkey helped her when he realized he was the only one to remember her. It explained why nations spent ridiculous amounts of effort hiding themselves behind the quirks of their people that stand out. It was enough of an explanation for Lovina to know that she would not be alone going forward. Maybe that would make all the difference.