January 1868
In the Fushimi magistrate office, proximity was unbearable. We were all sleeping in big dormitories, even Chizuru and Haruhi, and even if we tried to separate healthy men from the ills and injured, it wasn't that easy. Still, that posting was a logical choice. The magistrate gathered all the shogunate affiliated warriors and all the weapons, allowing us to answer rapidly to the battle call. The shogunate army of Osaka had been joined by new forces from Edo and shogunate officials, forced to quit Kyoto by the SatCho.
On New Years eve, Chizuru, Haruhi and I took a moment to get to the temple for predictions and benediction. Just like the previous years, I picked « kyo », bad luck, and tied it to a pine tree. Chizuru was going to chuckle as usual but she got exactly the same omen and her smile faded as she tied it next to mine. Haruhi got Kichi, best luck, though and I was relieved, thinking that she would be safe after all. When we got back from the temple, I could see that Chizuru was still thinking about her prediction.
« Do not worry about it. » i told her.
« But... It's the first time that I pick an omen that bad... » she muttered, anxious.
« You tied it to the pine tree. It should be enough to defuse it. » I reassured her but I could still see the doubt on her face. « I've been picking kyo for 4 years now. The first time I picked it, you agreed to be with me. The second time, you allowed me to touch you. The third time, you agreed to be my wife. I'm not afraid for this fourth time. »
She looked up to me and smiled genuinely with love and tenderness before grabbing my arm, cuddling against my shoulder as we walked back to the headquarters, Haruhi besides us.
« You're right. » she eventually said « the pine will defuse it. »
Just after the new year, Kondou-san, Souji and Haruhi moved to Osaka. I hoped during days that Chizuru would choose to join them but she didn't. My fear of loosing her was getting bigger with each day getting us closer to warfare. If it was up to me, I would have thrown her into a palanquin direction Osaka but I knew that her competence would be needed on the front.
The tension was palpable in every corner. Moral had been badly hurt along with Kondou's shoulder but also by the rounds getting more intense and the non-celebration of the New Year. We had to keep vigilant and I hoped that all captains could try to explain it to the men but of course Nagakura wouldn't shut up about it, complaining about the absence of sake, mochi and zôni. He told us that Satsuma was probably celebrating New Year too so what was the big deal ?! I wanted to slap his face every damn time. We needed to show the men cohesion in order to keep moral up and he wasn't really helping.
The rounds were more often than before but it was necessary. Imperialists were often lighting fires in the city and we had to react quickly to avoid any propagation. From militia, we were turning into firefighters. I knew that all this was also a strategy to make us quit, loose morale, tire us and make us unable to fight when the armies would collide. The Mimawarigumi was encountering the same problems in Toba.
We were returning from a round with Nagakura and Harada and Chizuru greeted us. It wasn't the same as before when it was innocent greetings. Now everytime we were leaving, she had fear in her eyes, and everytime we were back, she looked relieved. I knew she was thinking everytime that she would probably not see us again.
« Are you hungry ? » she asked with a nervous smile « I made a lot of Onigiri for everyone. Now that there is more rounds, I know that you can't always come back to eat so maybe you should take some when you go out. »
« Thanks Chizuru-chan » said Harada with a smile « I think I'll eat some ! »
« Same for me » added Nagakura « I'm starving ! »
I stayed silent and she looked at me, puzzled. I knew I shouldn't be like this with her but I was getting more and more introvert as time of war was approaching. My stomach was knotted all the time even if I was impassive on the outside. I feared for her, I feared for Haruhi, I feared for our cause and our comrades. It wasn't only the war but also Kaoru's words spinning in my head. Kazama would be coming for Chizuru and she didn't seem to be with child. That was putting her in danger.
« Hajime ? » she asked « You want some too ? »
« Ha. » i nodded and she handed me one.
I looked at the rice ball, feeling my stomach knot itself and make me acknowledge that it wasn't really eager to eat.
« It's pickle plum inside. There is also this ! » she said, handing me another dish « I know tofu is your favorite. Don't tell the men because I haven't done enough of it. » she added with a conspirator wink.
I smiled at the view of the grilled tofu she did. She probably noticed that I wasn't really feeling well recently and even if she did some for all the captains, I could see that her intentions were to cheer me up. I didn't deserve someone as caring as she was. I picked the grilled tofu too and bowed to her.
« Thank you, Chizuru. » i simply said but as simple as it was, I saw her smile grow bigger.
« Ohh ! Grilled tofu, huh ? » smiled Nagakura « come to papa ! »
He grabbed a handful, as expected from him and Chizuru scolded him.
« No ! » she frowned, taking it back « there are also some for Inoue, Hijikata-san and the others ! Only two per person for the moment ! If you are still hungry, take more Onigiri but don't touch that tofu ! »
Harada laughed and tapped on Nagakura's shoulder, mocking him. Nagakura made a pout but didn't object and we all ate our lunch together peacefully, savoring the flavors of Chizuru's cooking and this precious moment of calm before the storm.
A sound broke the silence.
It was a sound I knew by heart. A gunshot. And it was near. The three of us stood up immediately.
« So it begins... » muttered Harada and that sounded like an omen.
« Who do you think fired that shot ? » asked Nagakura « I'm going out. »
« Calm down. » i said in my toneless voice « we won't do anything until the vice-commander returns. »
« Saito's right. » confirmed Harada « someone needs to tell the rest of the men. Might as well be me. »
I nodded and he ran off. The atmosphere in the magistrate changed immediately. The tension was now not only lingering but filling the building in its whole.
« What should I do ? » asked Chizuru, panicked.
« Chizuru, you should.. » i started but my sentence was cut halfway.
A deafening explosion tore through the air making the building itself shook. That wasn't a gunshot this time.
« What the hell ?! » yelled Nagakura « Felt like an earthquake ! That means... »
He looked at me and we both ran out the building to get an understanding of the situation.
« What the fuck is this shit ?! » yelled Nagakura again as a second explosion echoed.
« A cannon. » i answered calmly.
« A cannon ? » he repeated, eyes wide « shit ! »
« It seems to be positioned in the Ryu'un temple. Probably Satsuma. » i analysed the situation quickly.
The cannon fired again and we ran back inside to explain the situation to Chizuru and Harada, who was already back.
« Damn it, fuck ! » yelled Nagakura in anger « If this keeps up, we're toast ! »
« Shinpachi ! » replied Harada « Can't we just go over there and take their cannon? »
« Maybe... » he answered, calming himself « but it won't be easy... They are probably defending it with a lot of firearms too. »
« Can't we do something ?! » yelled Chizuru, completely terrified « like.. shoot back at them ?! Can we do that ?! »
I looked at her, thinking once more that I should have used my autority as husband to force her to go to Osaka. Because of me, now she was there, trembling under cannon fire.
« ... We do have a cannon. » i said grudgingly.
« Then lets shoot back ! »
« It wouldn't be very effective. They have the high ground. » i explained « If we fire from down here, we would be lucky to reach them. Besides, the temple is surrounded by a forest. It would serve them as natural shield. »
Chizuru eyes widden, desperate. There was nothing we could do against that cannon and she was starting to understand it. As another explosion echoed near us, Shimada entered the magistrate's office.
« We're in trouble ! » he said with force « the Satsuma are trying to surround us ! »
I gritted my teeth and tried to think as fast and hard as I could. I needed a solution. Now. My mind was working furiously, examining every options that I could have. And Hijikata-san who wasn't there... He would have known what to do !
« The building has taken a lot of damage » i heard behind me « if they keep bombarding us, it'll collapse. »
« Fukuchô. » i bowed, using my toneless voice but deep inside, I felt so relieved to have him here.
« Hijikata-san, what can we do ? » asked Chizuru, desperate.
« Kondou put me in charge and I think he wanted us to still be around when he comes back. » he said with furrowed brows « We are going on the counterattack. »
His words brought morale up instantly, just like a true leader is supposed to.
« It's about time ! Let's do this ! » yelled Nagakura with his fist up.
« What's the plan, Hijikata ? » asked Harada « shoot them with our cannon ? »
« No point shooting from here » he said, aligning on my judgment « we need to take it up to the front line and if we're lucky, maybe we can take their cannon. »
« Alright ! » said Harada with a smile « that's more like it ! »
Everyone seemed all pumped up and I had to admit I was too. We could win.
« Hajime... » asked Chizuru « How many men do they have ? Do we really have a chance ? »
« Our forces are composed of 15 000 men. The Satsuma have barely 5 000. »
« So... We are going to win, right ? »
I took a moment to think before answering. In war, nothing was never certain and I had no way of knowing the outcome of that battle.
« One cannot always achieve victory through force of arms. » i told her coldly.
Why ? Why didn't you go to Osaka when you had the chance ?!
She didn't reply and withdrew inward her mind, probably asking herself the same question.