Xin's P.O.V

I fuckin' hated crying but it did feel good to let go of all those negative emotions. I felt exhausted and dehydrated but I felt...better. Even so, I was tired of crying in general. I'd be surprised if I had enough in me to cry again. I had to be dried out at this point. Hopefully I was done crying for a very long time.

My teams' gravestones gleamed under the sun, causing me to smile in satisfaction. I fondly caressed the sharp edge of Haruka's gravestone. "There, all better," I sung quietly. I needed someone to keep up with maintaining the gravestones once I left. None of them had family left alive to do it, besides Haruka, but her family was back in Suna. Maybe my parents could send someone periodically to take care of them…

I was lost in thought as I left the graveyard, barely missing the freakishly large crow suddenly zooming towards my face. "What the fuck—" I hissed as it flapped menacingly in front of me, screeching angrily at my face. It suddenly twisted, bending and cracking unnaturally until it became a dark swirling mass with a single blood-red eye staring at me. The swirling mass spread, taking the form of a man.

Itachi stood in front of me as the black mass faded, looking none too pleased. Before I could ask him what the fuck was the point of that, Team 7 appeared behind him. Sasuke and Naruto shared a similar expression with Itachi while Sakura looked worried. "You're lucky I didn't whack that crow with my bucket," I snapped hotly, unoccupied hand on my hip. "What's all that for anyway? You guys are acting like—"

"Your marriage was an arrangement."

I paused, lips pursing tightly before I wiped my face blank. "And why would you think that?" I asked, hip cocked to the side.

"Don't insult me, Xin."

"I'm not—"

"We heard Sakura say as much."

"Really?" I hummed, leaning around him to stare at the pinkette, unimpressed. "That sounds like a breach of confidentiality."

Sakura blushed under my gaze, shoulders hunched defensively. "I didn't just flat out tell them," she said after a moment's pause. "Tsunade-sama and I were discussing your progress and the truth surrounding your marriage came up. I didn't know they were waiting outside her office."

"That's sneaky."

Naruto shrugged a shoulder, "we're ninja."

I leveled him with a stern expression, not impressed with his reasoning. He didn't seem at all sorry for listening in on a private conversation. "Okay," I said after a moment, a heavy sigh falling from my mouth. "My marriage was an arrangement, so what?" I tried to remain casual about it.

"So what?" Sasuke repeated, eyes narrowed down at me. "You lied to us about your marriage, Xin. That's a big deal."

"I didn't lie, per se, I just...withheld information...and what do you guys care anyway? It's been nearly a year since I've been married and you're getting all bent out of shape for what?"

"I just said you lied to us. Do you even have any idea who you married?" Sasuke snapped at me.

"Considering I married him...I'm gonna go with...yes," I rolled my eyes. "I married the damn Kazekage, Sasuke, what's your point?"

"Were you not present during our Chūnin Exams?"

My eyes narrowed and for a moment, for a tiny second, I entertained the idea of smacking Sasuke upside his head with my cleaning bucket. "Yes, I was present, Sasuke, and that isn't fair. We've all made mistakes in the past—"

"You're going to defend that shit?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna defend that shit!" I snapped, fed up with being interrupted. "Just like Sakura defends you whenever anyone brings up the fact that you nearly betrayed the village for Orochimaru!" I continued, patience waning. That was a dark time for Team 7, as Sasuke struggled with feeling inferior compared to Itachi. We didn't talk about his almost betrayal often but if he was going to bring up past mistakes, so would I.

"Okay!" Naruto clapped his hands loudly, causing both Sasuke and I to look towards him. I hadn't realized that we were nearly chest to chest. "That was a little unnecessary, Xin," he pointed out with a weak smile. I felt my temper flare at that.

I turned my burning gaze on him. "No the fuck it wasn't! If we're going to use Gaara's past against him, we're bringing everyone's shit up. Us—?" I paused, motioning violently between Itachi and I. "—We're professional killers!

You, Naruto, have a demon sealed inside of you that nearly destroyed the village and we're all just supposed to trust you to not sic that motherfucker on us at any given notice. And you, Sakura, you've used Naruto's crush on you to manipulate him several times before. Granted, it's not as bad as the rest of us but it's still pretty fucked up given the fact that he was an outcast and you were downright cruel to him!" I finished with a shout. The foursome stared at me, eyes wide and mouths pinched. There was a chance that I'd gone too far but hell if I cared. If we were going to use the past, then damn it, we're using it.

"You know what?" Naruto came out of his stupor first, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "That's fair. That…"

"Did you want to marry him?" Itachi asked before Naruto could go on. I turned my stare back towards him, mouth stubbornly set into a harsh scowl.

"Did I want to marry him, he says—NO! Hell no, I didn't want to marry him. I was eighteen, career-driven and was being told I had to marry some random ass ex-psychopath from an entirely different country."

"So why did you?"

"It was either that or fuckin' die! And maybe I was subconsciously suicidal, not that anyone fuckin' noticed, but that fuckin' stubborn ass Will of Fire we all inherited decided to kick in and I agreed. And you know what, it's not that bad. Being married to Gaara is far better than being set up to die, I gotta tell ya. So again, I ask, what are you getting so bent out of shape for?"

"C'mon, Xin, even you have to admit that lying to us about this, about something as monumental as getting married, is a bit messed up," Naruto tried to say in a soothing tone. It did nothing to soothe me, it actually pissed me off even more.

"You wanna know something, Naruto?" I prompted in a breezy tone. "I don't give a fuck if it's messed up or not. It's messed up that none of you knew well enough that the shit was out of the ordinary in the first place. When did I ever allude to wanting to get married? How could you guys really believe I was harboring a secret relationship with a Kage of a different village? When the fuck would I even have time for that?

Face it, you guys were unconcerned. It didn't directly affect you. And now? I need you to stay unconcerned. What I do with my life isn't anyone's business but my own."

"Xin…" Itachi tried but I violently shook my head.

"Gaara isn't a bad person and neither are his siblings. I know that they participated in the invasion, okay? I remember that. But they were kids just like us, following orders. They're different now, they're good people. And they've been trying to convince me that I'm good. That's all I've ever wanted was for someone to say I was good." I could see the guilt in their faces. "Maybe it wasn't the ideal way to start a relationship, I get that. Konoha screwed me over but sending me to Suna to marry Gaara was probably the only good thing they've done and no one has the right to take that from me."

A silence fell over us as the four of them exchanged silent looks. I don't know what they were conveying with their eyes but I didn't care either way. Naruto broke first, reaching for my hand. He rubbed at my knuckles, quietly studying the scars.

"Are you happy? Married to Gaara and living in Suna?"

"Yeah, I am."

He twisted my engagement ring around my finger, frowning softly. "Okay," he decided after a moment. "If you're happy, then that's all that matters," he said, glancing at everyone else. Sakura readily agreed with a smile while Itachi and Sasuke begrudgingly agreed with their own grunts and hums.

I finally smiled at them. "Is this how you guys show your concern? By ganging up on unsuspecting victims?" I said in an attempt to ease the tension. Sasuke snorted, hands shoved into his pockets as he stubbornly looked away.

"Who said anything about being concerned?" he asked sourly, causing my smile to widen. Sasuke was emotionally stunted, I still didn't understand how he and Sakura could possibly work. She wore her heart on her sleeve. But then again, maybe the same thing could be said about me and Gaara or Naruto and Hinata.

"Right, my mistake. That display just now couldn't have been out of concern, silly me," I laughed loudly when Itachi flicked Sasuke's forehead.

"Tch," Sasuke scowled, rubbing his forehead. "You think I was bad? Wait until Neji finds out."

Suddenly, it wasn't so funny.

Neji was furious.

To be fair, everyone was sort of upset when they found out. I told them the truth but I made sure they knew they couldn't go blathering to just anyone about the marriage. Konoha still needed to be under the impression that all things were harmonious and good.

But Neji flipped out.

Which wasn't that surprising. I think he felt more upset since he'd been glad that I finally seemed happy that last time he visited. I suppose that was understandable. It was also a little odd to see everyone react the way they did. This entire time I'd been convinced that no one was really concerned with what went on with me.

Maybe I was wrong? Maybe I was so hellbent on keeping myself miserable that I projected more misery on myself. After all, everyone had their own issues to deal with while we grew up. I suppose it would have been nice if I'd been checked on, that's all I wanted, but everyone had their demons. I wasn't special, I just went about things in the wrong way.

Sakura seemed pleased as punch when I shared all of my new thoughts with her. I had to come to terms in order to heal and I had, I think. I still had to speak to my parents but for the most part...I realized that I didn't have to continue being miserable. I had the power to decide what I wanted.

I wanted to be happy.

With that lone thought, I politely knocked against the thick doors. I heard a weary voice call out to me, granting me access and with one deep breath, I stepped inside the room. Messy stacks of paperwork and empty bottles littered the office, causing me to subconsciously twitch.

"Tsunade-sama, don't you think you should clean up a bit?" I asked in an innocent tone, smiling when the Lady Hokage shoved a pile of documents to the side. Hazel eyes narrowed at up at me, pink lips pulled into a tight frown.

"Don't start with your compulsions," she grumped at me.

"I'm just saying, it's beginning to smell like sake in here," I pointed out, thoughtlessly circling the room to pick up empty sake bottles. "We should open a window…" I trailed off while dumping the bottles into the garbage bin. She watched me with a careful eye but didn't stop me.

"Xin….what do you want?"

I paused, looking down at my feet. Wiggling my toes, I took another deep breath. "I...why me?" I finally asked after a long pause, voice dropping into a soft tone.

Tsunade stared at me, face carefully wiped clean of any emotion. "You'll have to be more specific than that."

"What made you pick me to assign assassination missions? Why didn't you pick someone else? Why did I stand out?"

The blond continued to stare at me, inhaling deeply. "Because I knew what you were capable of. I knew you were dangerous and I knew you would need an outlet before you did something irreversible."

"I killed my own team, that wasn't irreversible?"

"That was a series of unfortunate events. You loved your team, I knew that and I knew you would never intentionally kill them. I saw you begin to break down, the hopelessness and desperation. The anger. I knew you would eventually do something that I couldn't allow. I thought that by sending you on certain missions, to take out enemies, it would help."

"They weren't always enemies."

Tsunade nodded silently, knowing what I was alluding to. The innocent bystanders, the children, the sobbing wives. The ones wiped out simply for being related to someone who stood against Konoha. "Would you have preferred if they came back? Seeking revenge against you and Konoha? Going after your sisters?"

"That still doesn't make it right."

"Perhaps not but hard choices have to be made for the sake of the village. You know that. It doesn't make you a bad person for following orders."

Nodding slowly, I knew the deaths of innocents would always haunt me regardless of what anyone said. There was nothing to be done about it but I had to accept as much. "Did you really think I would have done something irreversible?" I asked next, letting the implications hang over us. Tsunade resumed her staring, her eyes looking almost remorseful.

"I did. You were desperate, beginning to lose hope and I could see the bitter anger building up inside you. Desperation and hopelessness paired with anger can warp the best of us, clouding our judgement. For example, as you and your sister grew, Hinata was eventually accepted by your family and even praised. You were not. Your negative emotions could have come to a boiling point because of that."

My blood ran cold in my veins at the thought. I couldn't even see myself hurting my sister, bitter or not. "I know it's hard to believe but those emotions can warp a person and make them lash out. I didn't want that for you."

I wanted to argue her point, tell her that she was full of shit. I would never purposely hurt Hinata or Hanabi or anyone. The very thought of it made me uncomfortable. And yet, I could understand what she meant. I could see why she might have thought that I would end up completely losing my shit. I was halfway there anyway.

"Well," I said, cringing at how shaky my voice sounded. "You lucked out that Suna needed someone like me," I tried to joke but it sounded weak to my ears.

"I didn't agree because I wanted to get rid of you."

"No?"

"You were going to die, I'm sure you know, but that isn't the only reason," Tsunade tapped blood-red nails against the desktop. "You were a good kid with a lot of baggage and skewed morals. I knew you had it in you to turn your life around and I couldn't let you die. I knew that if anyone could get through that thick head of yours and get you to appreciate life, it was Gaara."

My blood now felt hot, rushing towards my cheeks. My toenails were suddenly really interesting and vaguely I wondered if I should paint them red next.

"I didn't think you two would actually develop romantic feelings for one another but with Gaara's past and how he was able to turn everything around, I thought he would be able to show you that your past doesn't determine who you are. You have the power to turn your life around, of course, no one can make you do that. You've got to want it for yourself."

"Gaara said the same thing," I admitted, somewhat embarrassed. "I..uh...I didn't believe him at first. I mean, I wanted to but I—" I stopped talking for a moment, puffing my cheeks out. "The guilt, I felt so guilty about it that I just gave up the idea of it for awhile, it seemed impossible."

Tsunade nodded along to my quiet confession, like she completely understood. "And now? It is still impossible?"

I wrung my fingers together, still avoiding her stare. "I don't think so. I think...I think I want to be happy and I think I deserve it," I said slowly as if I expected her to argue against my statement. But goddammit, I did deserve it and I didn't need anyone telling me anything else. That was the goddamn problem from the start, I wanted everyone else's validation.

I don't need anyone's validation.

"I deserve to be happy, Tsunade-sama. I deserve it and anyone who disagrees can fuck off," I said firmly. "The only thing I ask of you is that you don't do this to another person. If there's someone who's struggling with issues like I was then send them to get help. I get that Konoha is important but the Shinobi are important too. We're human too, we deserve better."

I left after that, feeling like that heavy load was slightly less heavy.

Teeth pressed into my bottom lip, I stood outside of the family room. My parents were inside, most likely waiting for me to get my shit together. I mentioned wanting to talk to them at dinner and they agreed to my request. Hinata and Hanabi were supportive, hands rubbing at my back as I sat in between them.

In order for me to go back to Suna without that heavy load weighing me down, I had to talk to both of my parents. I had to let them know that my issues stemmed from them. Not my friends, not Tsunade, not Konoha but from my parents. From them. I never would have gone down such a terrible path if they had just...raised me.

And I loved them, I love them to pieces and would do anything for them, that much was true. But they had to be held responsible. They had to know that together, they let me down. I spoke with them before about it, separately but now it was time to talk to them again. They had to understand.

They were both sitting up, waiting for me. Mom offered a sad smile to me as I joined them, sitting down in front of them. I think she had a clue about what needed to be said. I hated upsetting my mother and I almost decided against talking to them. Almost. I couldn't put this off any longer. If I wanted to go home, this talk had to be done. "I love you guys, you know this, yes?" I prompted first, legs folded underneath me. I just wanted them to know that regardless, I still loved them and that I would always love them. I don't think anything would change that.

"Of course," Mom answered for the both of them.

"Good. Just keep that in mind when I say this. Growing up, all I wanted to do was to please you guys, to please the clan. I understood that because of my personality, I wasn't fit to lead the clan. That never bothered me, I knew I wasn't cut out for leading such a traditional clan," I began to explain to them, tapping my fingers against my knee.

"I've said it before but all I wanted when I was growing up was your approval. Not the approval of the clan, just yours. For whatever reason, it was out of the question. I started to resent Hinata for winning your approval, I resented Neji, I resented Hanabi. Luckily that's all it ever was but that resentment turned into desperation and that motivated me to join the ANBU.

I realized at some point that I would never gain that approval I really strived for. I gave up on that goal and just…" I paused, lips rolling into my mouth. "I did a lot of bad things. A lot. I know you guys were informed of those missions but I didn't just take threats to Konoha out. I killed people. Innocent people. I burned houses to the ground and killed children."

Hiashi remained stoned-faced but the color gradually drained from Manami's face. The look on her face made me sick. Manami leaned over, gripping at the sleeve of my father's robes. I understood her reaction, of course. What parent wants to hear that their child was a cold blooded murderer?

"It stopped being about your approval and started being about...ruining lives. If I couldn't be happy, then why should other people? I wanted to die and Konoha wanted me to die but I still had some use, I guess. They kept me around because I was good at my job but I was getting more dangerous and unhinged.

That's where Suna came in. There was no argument when it was decided that I'd marry Gaara. Nothing, you guys didn't fight the notion at all. I was already spiraling out of control so can you imagine what knowing my parents willingly gave me up to Gaara would do to me?"

"Xin—"

"No. No, Mom, I'm talking now. I've spent my entire childhood letting everyone else speak for me and decide things for me. I'm talking now and I get to decide things. And I've decided to tell you guys that your negligence towards me completely ruined me as a person. I turned out to be a murderous, impassive psychopath."

Manami's eyes filled with tears but I kept going. "I thought I was completely unlovable and I knew that no matter what, I did not deserve to be happy. I tried to make Gaara miserable because I thought I needed to be miserable. And you know, luckily Gaara is a stubborn asshole and worked hard to get me to realize that I deserved more. It was hard because I'm just as stubborn but he kept at it, along with his siblings and the people I met in Suna.

And how mind-boggling is that? Meeting strangers and feeling at home with them? Gaara had to talk me into talking to you guys the first time I came back to Konoha. That's sad, don't you think? I didn't feel welcomed here at all."

I watched as Hiashi's calm facade cracked just a bit. I twisted my fingers together, biting my lower lip. A small part of me felt bad, laying the blame at their feet, but it was mostly their carelessness that twisted me around. It was partially my fault too, I could take ownership for my actions.

"What I did was wrong, I can admit that. I took the wrong route, no one forced my hand. I just wish I had the parental guidance that I needed. I hate that I had to have a breakdown, amnesia and a misscariage just to realize these things. It took me having to see things from a different perspective, to basically look at my memories as a stranger, to realize how terrible I was. And that all stems from you two."

I stopped twisting my fingers, clasping my hands together instead. "I get that the clan is important. But you know what else is important? The children of the clan, they're the future of the clan. Their mental health and happiness matters too. If they spiral out of control or get themselves killed or even kill themselves, what will happen to our prestigious clan?

I've already lost a child. How many more will the Hyuga clan lose before it's realized that the pressure put on young children is a bad thing? I get that we have a reputation to uphold, that we're one of the best, but not at the cost of lives. If the children have no future, then neither does the clan."

The room fell into silence. I looked in between my parents, waiting for some kind of backlash. I couldn't blame them, I'd be pissed too if my kid accused me of fucking them up as a person. I wasn't looking for an apology from either of them, it would do nothing at this point. I'd made my bed a long time ago and I was laying it, it was their turn at this point. They were going to have to learn to forgive themselves.

I could no longer feel that heavy weight.

End P.O.V

"You know she'll be leaving soon."

Manami inhaled deeply, seated next to Mikoto in the training hall. She wasn't fond of the training hall, having always been a soft and fragile kunoichi. So unlike her daughters. Hinata and Xin were training together, feet gliding against the polished floor and hands striking violently. She always thought it was interesting how each Hyuga child took their family's technique and made it their own. Neji was aggressive in his attacks, Hinata was graceful, Xin was cutting and Hanabi was defensively playful. She wasn't fond of Shinobi life but it was always interesting to watch their personalities bleed into their techniques. "She's quite eager to return to Suna," Manami replied after a long pause. "I suppose I would be too, if I were separated from Hiashi. It's going on five months since she's been here. She's spent half her marriage away from her husband."

Mikoto hummed softly, watching as Hinata expertly spun out of the way of Xin's strike. "It's still hard to believe the marriage was an arrangement. Xin seemed so in love."

Like many others, Mikoto hadn't been happy with the news of Xin's marriage being an arrangement. But as Xin pointed out, she'd been married for nearly a year now, it wasn't like there was anything that could be done about it. Besides, Xin consented to the arrangement. There was nothing to be done unless they somehow managed to force her into getting a divorce.

"She is in love, hard as it is to believe," Manami gently corrected her old friend. "And he loves her, according to Hinata. I never imagined Xin getting married. I thought Shinobi life would kill her first," Manami admitted out loud, for the first time. She hadn't even shared that particular thought with Hiashi.

"Shinobi die every day," Mikoto uttered softly, eyes far away.

"I never wanted my girls to be Shinobi."

Mikoto's dark eyes strayed towards Manami but she said nothing to the quiet confession, instead opting to steer the conversation back primarily towards Xin. "Fugaku wasn't that surprised when word got around to us about the marriage."

"No?"

"He said Xin would never be able to keep the relationship as a secret like we were led to believe," Mikoto explained, amusement clearing up the somber feeling hanging over them. "She's a motormouth."

Manami let out a laugh, nodding along to the statement. "I suppose that's a good point, how observant of him. It would seem that Fugaku knows my daughter better than most. I suppose he paid more attention to her than we ever did," Manami admitted with downtrodden look about her. "She spoke to us sometime ago about her upbringing, about our wrongdoings. I wish I could have raised her right."

"We all make mistakes, no one is perfect," Mikoto tried to reassure her friend. "What matters now is that Xin knows her place in the world."

"Yes and it's not here with us."

"Honestly, Nami, when did you become so pessimistic?"

"Perhaps it was when my daughter blamed me for letting her turn herself into a murderous psychopath?"

"Xin is at fault as well, I'm sure she's told you."

"That doesn't make me feel better at all. She's a child, she didn't know any better. It was our jobs as parents to steer her in the right direction and we didn't."

"She knows better now. There's nothing to be done about past mistakes, Nami. No, you weren't there for her when she needed you but you have the opportunity now. Marriage and children is an entirely different direction and Xin is still young, she'll still need some direction. I'm sure now that she's come to terms with her demons, she might be more willing to be the daughter she was meant to be."

"Aren't you just so wise," Manami commented with a crooked smile. "But I think you're right. I wish it weren't the case, that I'm so late with being there for her but I have to take what I can get. I'm glad she hasn't decided to completely cut us off."

Mikoto nodded along to her words. Truthfully she was just glad that Xin hadn't completely turned on the village. Of course Konoha was littered with powerful ninja to protect it but Xin was a relentless woman. There really was no stopping her once her determination set in fully. That much had been proved when she chased down the Kazekage and savagely killed anyone who tried to stop her. All this had been done while she fought off an impending breakdown and was unknowingly pregnant.

The point was that Xin was a true force to be reckoned with and it was doubtful that she could've been stopped. The other ninja, her friends, would have hesitated in stopping her rampage. Xin, on the other hand, didn't know the meaning of hesitation. If given the opportunity, Konoha could have been burned to the ground before the week was out. She was glad that Xin truly loved her village despite its mistreatments of her.

Mikoto smiled fondly, still watching the sparring session. "I'm glad too."

Kankuro waited impatiently as Temari read over the letter for the second time. "I can read, you know," he pointed out sourly.

"You know you shouldn't even open someone else's mail," Temari replied thoughtlessly, eyes excitedly roving over Tsunade's handwriting. She glanced up at her brother, annoyance momentary forgotten. "She's coming home," she finally said. It was nearly June when they received a letter from Tsunade, the last letter they would receive. Xin had spent half a year from them to recover her memories. It went without saying that Gaara had become restless without Xin around for so long. He was easily set off, snapping at the smallest things.

He usually reigned in his temper when it came to his siblings but even they weren't always exempt for his short temper. They were mostly met with cold glares reminiscent of dark times but even those were unnerving to deal with.

"Tsunade says some things might be foggy to her," Temari explained, knowing Kankuro hadn't read the full contents of the letter. "But she's mostly recovered," she said through a smile. "Maybe now Gaara will come out of that funk, she should be here by the end of the week."

Kankuro looked thoughtful. "Maybe we shouldn't tell him?"

Temari lowered the letter, shooting her brother a dull look. "And why not?"

"It can be like a surprise."

The older blonde stared at him for a moment before humming. "Gaara doesn't even like surprises, you know that," she reminded him. Kankuro only grinned at her, noting that she wasn't saying no.

"Yeah but he likes Xin," he pointed out cheekily.

Temari snorted at the statement before carefully slipping the letter back into the envelope. She stowed the letter away into her pouch, knowing Gaara would want the letter at some point. Excitement bubbled inside her, leaking through her smile. Everyone would be elated to find out when she would be back.

"Alright but if it pisses him off, I'm completely blaming you."

"As usual."

Temari's smile brightened into a grin, jumping when they heard a shuffle from behind them. Gaara was suddenly there, looking curious at the sight of them. "What are you two grinning about?" he asked, Yoshiko standing behind him. She was clutching her handy clipboard to her chest, eyes searching the two siblings. It would seem that neither of them had arrived in time to catch the siblings scheming.

"Oh, Gaara, how was the meeting?" Temari asked instead of answering, whirling around to face her youngest brother. The letter was safely tucked away in her pouch so she wasn't worried about being caught red handed.

"Wonderful!" Yoshiko chimed cheerfully, leaning from behind Gaara with a sweet grin. Gaara only glanced at her, bemused by her antics. "Grandmother was rather pushy but we agreed on several things today!"

Over the last few months, Yoshi proved to be a capable assistant. She went through great lengths to prove herself capable, accomplishing any task Gaara set upon her. She was pleasant to be around, when she wasn't aggressively flirting with Gaara. And while she did a great job at being his assistant, she sometimes took her job too seriously.

Gaara snorted and moved around his siblings to his office. "They're more concerned about Xin, if anything," Gaara pointed out, sitting down behind his desk. He looked a little pensive, as if he was thinking about something. "Did Tsunade's letter come yet?"

"Nope!" Temari and Kankuro yipped in unison. They realized their suspicious behavior, glancing at one another with wide eyes. Temari let out a nervous laugh, turning back to Gaara. "No, we haven't received her letter yet. I'm sure it'll be along any day now."

Gaara stared impassively at the two of them. "What's wrong with you two?"

"Nothing!" Kankuro grinned nervously. "We just have a good feeling about this next letter, is all. It's going on seven months that she's been gone so we're going to have receive some good news at some point, right?"

"Perhaps she's regressed?" Yoshi suddenly spoke up, tucking wild red locks behind her ear. The siblings collectively glanced at her, not looking the least bit impressed. "It's been said that your wife has a stubborn streak, doesn't she? She could have regressed due to her stubbornness."

Adding onto to Yoshi's flirtatious nature towards Gaara was her obvious dislike for Xin. Her dislike was usually hidden in thinly veiled insults towards the missing woman in question. Gaara was sure that the dislike mostly stemmed from Mai feeding her own negative feelings about Xin to Yoshi. Gaara wasn't the least bit surprised that Mai influenced Yoshi's dislike for Xin.

"I think Xin's stubbornness would spur her on," Temari replied slowly, studying Yoshi with a hard look in her eyes. Out of the three, she always seemed to have the most patience with Yoshi but even she was growing more and more irritated with the young redhead.

"Perhaps but sometimes people simply don't want to be helped. Do you think she wants to be helped? Grandmother often said that the Lady didn't receive help in a gracious manner—"

"I think perhaps you and Mai discuss Xin far too much for my liken, Yoshiko. You're beginning to toe a line you have no business crossing. Don't test me," Gaara subtly threatened, eyes slightly narrowed. The room settled into an awkward silence as Yoshi visibly flinched away. She looked like a kicked puppy, bottom lip wobbling.

"I didn't mean to offend, Kazekage-sama. Please forgive me."

"Of course," Gaara replied briskly, tone sounding quite dark.

"I'm sure the letter is just late, is all," Temari tried to say in an even tone, hoping to pop the tense atmosphere. Her reassurance didn't do much to tame Gaara's sudden dark mood, not that she was all that surprised. She wasn't really sure what Yoshi hoped to accomplish by bad mouthing Xin but she hoped the younger girl would learn to keep her ill comments to herself. It would be wise to keep her conversations with Mai to herself as well.

She wasn't sure why the council thought their plan was full-proof but she had to guess that they were under the impression that Xin and Gaara still disliked one another. Which made no sense because Xin made it quite clear that that wasn't the case anymore. And maybe Gaara wasn't waxing poetry for her but they had to know that there was some affection between them. Or friendship, at the least.

They couldn't be dumb enough to miss the fact that the marriage was no longer a charade. And really, how they managed to fall in love between all their bickering and fighting was beyond her. But they managed and honestly the council had to be incredibly stupid to not realize it. Either that or they just assumed Gaara was weak to women, which also made no sense because he never behaved in such a way before. In fact, before Xin, he was practically oblivious to the opposite sex. Throwing Yoshi at him in hopes of him straying from Xin had to be the dumbest idea ever. Besides, Yoshi should be smart enough not to bring up his amnesiac wife any chance she got.

Xin was definitely going to hurt this girl.

They'd deal with it when the time came.

"You spend too much money on clothing materials."

"She does, it's very frivolous of her."

Xin paused, glancing up at her sisters. Laid out on the table were bolts of purple, black and white fabric along with Xin's sewing kit among the clutter. She feigned offense, sticking her tongue out at them in a childish manner. "Oh, shut up. That's rich coming from you, Hanabi. Mom says you've been wasting a lot of time shopping."

Hanabi gaped at her older sister and retaliated by sticking her own tongue at her. Hinata ignored the two as they began bickering childishly, skirting around the messy table to grab Xin's half packed weapons pouch. She began picking through it, packing the essentials away for Xin while she busied with putting together a new outfit.

"You wouldn't have to buy new clothes if you stopped wrecking your things."

"Oh, yeah, like I chose to be ambushed. And I don't even know who tore my goddamn skirt up," Xin pointed out sourly while jabbing her scissors at Hanabi. "In case you forgot, I woke up in a hospital yukata after Sakura said my clothes were shredded. Not my fault."

Hanabi rolled her eyes at Xin's excuse. "I think you just have a shopping problem, Nee-chan," she repeated with a cheshire grin. "You spend a lot at Tenten's shop as well, don't you?"

"Shut up, Hana."

The youngest sister let out a chuckle but joined Xin at the table, reaching forward to rearrange the clutter of fabric into a more neater pile. "I thought you weren't that great at sewing," she said after a silent pause. She remembered that Xin never had the patience to learn household chores, such as sewing, while growing up. She plowed through them but they were never her strong suit.

"I wasn't but before I learned medical ninjutsu, I had to patch my teammates up. Sewing skin is tougher than sewing clothes so I got the hang of it eventually," Xin thoughtlessly answered, holding up some fabric with a hum.

"That's a darker answer than I initially assumed."

"Nothing is too dark when it comes to Xin's experiences," Hinata quipped.

"I'm glad we can lightly joke about my fucked up time as a ninja."

Hinata glanced at Xin, ready to apologize for tastelessly joking around about Xin's issues. To her relief, Xin was laughing at the teasing, seemingly fine with the light ribbing. She was glad to see Xin being so at ease with them. It was a stark contrast to how she behaved with them beforehand. It was a shame that she would be leaving when they were finally getting along like how sisters should.

"Are you excited to go back to Suna?" Hanabi prompted. Xin motioned for the white fabric, which she helpfully handed over. "You're really good at making clothes, how about making an outfit for me?"

"Of course I'm excited to go back," Xin laughed, swinging the scissors around her finger. Hinata shot her a look, not impressed with her careless antics. "I really miss everyone back home. Besides, I've got a bone to pick with Gaara," she reminded them, empty hand falling to her flat stomach. "He never replied to my letter…"

"Oh, Xin, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for that…" Hinata tried in vain to defend her brother-in-law. She felt for the redhead, knowing that despite Xin appreciating life, she still had a vicious temper. On the other hand, she could understand Xin's ire with her husband.

Xin stubbornly huffed, opting to dig through her sewing kit for her needle. "It's almost June, Hinata. I miscarried in December and he would have received the letter in January. He should know and he hasn't said anything. I mean, anything would have been better than silence. Therefore, I'm kicking his shit in when I see him."

"I think that's fair," Hanabi sung. Hinata was not amused with Hanabi's mischievous ways, cutting her eyes at her in disapproval. "Xin-nee has a point, he could have sent something back to her. I would think a miscarriage is something serious in a marriage."

Hinata noticed Xin's downcast gaze for a split second before she wiped it away with a stubborn set in her jaw. "Gaara wouldn't just let something like this go without saying something. There has to be a reasonable explanation for it."

"Well, it better be good," her twin scowled harshly, jabbing at the outfit she was putting together. Hinata smiled weakly and leaned over to pat at her thigh in reassurance. She was genuinely hoping that Gaara had a good enough reason, although she wasn't really sure what would be good enough.

The three settled into a comfortable silence for several long minutes before Xin spoke up once more. Her gaze didn't stray from the outfit she was sewing together as she spoke. "You know I don't need to be escorted by a team."

"I'm sure you're quite capable but it's already been decided that we'll go with you," Hinata replied without bothering to look up from her sister's pouch. "Have you packed your medic's pouch?" she asked, effortlessly brushing Xin's words off. She got a blank look directed at her but Xin motioned towards her half packed medical pouch. Hinata directed a smile back at her and got up to finish packing the medical pouch for her sister.

"Oi, Xin-nee?"

"Yes?" Xin hummed distractedly. Hanabi didn't say anything immediately, biting her lip apprehensively. It caused the two older sisters to look over at her, heads tilted together at the same time. "Hana? What's wrong?" Xin pressed, setting her sewing needle down.

"Its...well, things are better now, aren't they?" Hanabi asked slowly, playing with a thick lock of brown hair. Xin wasn't sure what her sister was getting at but she nodded nonetheless. "Then after you go back to Suna….you'll come back to see us, won't you? This won't be the last time we get to see you, is it?"

Xin seemingly paled before she glanced at Hinata, frowning softly. Hinata returned her look, raising her eyebrows at her. She turned back to her younger sister, smiling sweetly as she did so. She shifted to the edge of her chair, reaching over to grab Hanabi's hand. "I'm sorry that I've been such a shitty sister this entire time. Of course this won't be the last time, I'll be better, I promise. I'll visit more often and write letters. This won't be the last time you see me."

Xin watched as Hanabi smiled slowly, twisting her hand around until she was firmly grasping Xin's hand.

Things would be better, this, she was sure of.

Xin smiled in satisfaction as she moved through Konoha effortlessly. She easily recalled stumbling her way through the village at one point, struggling in vain to remember even the smallest detail of a life beforehand. She remembered when the memories finally began to come back and being horrified by her past. She'd been grateful then, that she couldn't remember those bad things. She wondered if it would be better to just not remember, to just start fresh. She was grateful that her friends and family rallied together and pushed her to keep going, to remember the good and the bad.

The clanswoman took a deep breath, pausing to smooth down her clothes. She'd finished the new outfit just in time, despite her sisters distracting her. She ended up jabbing her fingers several times but even that couldn't deter her from finishing.

"Finally," Sasuke was the first to greet her in his own special way. She was a bit surprised to see Neji, Itachi and Izumi waiting along with Hinata and Naruto. Knowing she'd be leaving early, Xin had said her goodbyes to her friends and family the night before. It somewhat surprised her that everyone seemed somber that she was living for the second time. But they all made an honest effort to repair their relationships with her so maybe it wasn't that surprising.

"It's not like I asked for you to come with me," Xin pointed out, waving her middle finger at him. "And what are you three doing here?" she turned away from Sasuke, ignoring Naruto's guffaws.

"We came to see you off," Izumi replied with a sweet smile, stepping closer to her. "Who knows when you'll be back and last night we all had to share you," she admitted, engulfing Xin into an affectionate hug. "Don't stay away so long this time, okay?"

Xin hummed, patting at Izumi's waist. "I'll do my best this time around," she leaned in closer, hiding a smile in Izumi's neck. "Maybe the next wedding will be yours, yes?"

The half Uchiha pulled away with a squeak, face flushed deeply. Xin's smile pulled into an amused grin but said nothing as the group watched in confusion. "You haven't changed, not one bit," Izumi chuckled nervously. "Safe travels, Xin-chan. Take care of yourself."

She grinned and nodded, grateful for the older woman's kindness. She still felt a little guilty for treating Izumi so coldly when they were younger but it would seem that all was forgiven between the two. With that in mind, she turned towards Neji, still grinning all the while. He was still irritated by her arranged marriage but she took it all in stride. "He's a good person, Neji. It wasn't ideal but where's the fun in ideal?" she was honestly touched that Neji was still so upset about the marriage.

He frowned stubbornly. "You're done with lying, aren't you?"

If Xin was offended, she didn't show it. In fact, she only seemed to grin wider. "I'm done with lying. Just know that I'm where I'm meant to be," she stated in comforting tone. He nodded slowly, reaching forward to pat her head.

"Visit soon."

"Of course, of course," she grabbed his wrist, squeezing it in a reassuring manner before stepping towards Itachi. "We've had quite the run, haven't we?" she prompted first, rocking forward on her feet.

"Quite," Itachi agreed easily, smiling down at the shorter of the two. "A shame it has to end."

"All good things must, at some point," she pointed out, hands behind her back. The Hyuga stepped closer, voice lowering. "Thank you for always looking out for me."

"Someone had to do it."

"At least it was fun."

"Keeping you from recklessly killing yourself was not my idea of fun."

"No?"

Itachi laughed and settled his hand on the crown of her head like Neji had done before. "You've done well, bluebird. I'm sure we can all agree that none of us are happy that you're leaving but if it what will make you happy…"

"It makes me happy, to be in Suna. To be with Gaara, it makes me happy."

The Uchiha nodded slowly. "Of course. Just make sure you take better care of yourself. No more excuses and no more recklessness."

"I can't promise anything about being reckless. I'm still a Konoha ninja at heart and I don't think we can help it. The downside of the Will of Fire, I think," she pointed out wrly, laughing as she did so. Itachi chuckled softly but nodded nonetheless. She had a point.

"Goodbye, bluebird."

Xin watched as the three left, smiling fondly all the while. She could remember instances of returning to Konoha and never feeling welcomed and relief when she was leaving for Suna. That lingering heartache of a life not meant for her. She felt different now. There was no sadness in her, no longing or heartache. She felt light, well-rested and eager to return to the life meant for her.

She turned on her heel, mental break left in Konoha, and readied herself for the next adventure.

"Ready to walk me home?"

The trip to Suna from Konoha went off without a hitch. Xin's eagerness was evident as they stood in front of Suna's imposing gates. They'd been repaired in her absence and seemed sturdier and heavier, which she supposed was a good thing. Stepping back into Suna felt surreal to her but it wasn't an unwelcome feeling. She felt at ease almost immediately, eyes searching the familiar village.

"It's strange that he didn't come to meet you," Hinata murmured softly as Xin effortlessly led them through the Sand village.

"He's probably just busy," Sasuke supplied an empty answer. The three of them didn't want to put a damper on Xin's cheerful mood. She didn't seem to mind that Gaara hadn't been there to greet them, she was just glad to finally be back.

"Let's head to the office," Naruto suggested cheerfully, happy to see the excitement on Xin's face. It was genuine and raw, showing in the smile of her lips and shine in her eyes. She was definitely where she needed to be. They weren't stopped as they traveled to the office, Xin nearly bouncing up the staircase she so vehemently cursed many times before. Nothing would serve to deter her at this point.

But as the foursome neared the top of the staircase, Xin lost some of her spunk. Doubt began to weigh on her. What if he wasn't busy? What if he knew she was back and simply brushed her return off? What...what if he fell out of love with her due to her prolonged absence?

"Xin?" Hinata prompted softly as her sister stood in front of the office door, fingers brushing the handle. What if it had been too much for him to deal with? Losing her shit and stressing herself out so much that she was unaware of her pregnancy until she bled all over the Uchiha's bathroom? Maybe he finally realized what she'd been afraid of all along.

That she was poisoned and forsaken.

"Xin," Hinata called in a firmer tone, reaching for her sister. Xin was startled out of her self-doubt, blinking wide eyes as she tried to push those dark thoughts away. She expected a mean spirited comment from Sasuke or a poorly timed joke by Naruto but they remained silent as she struggled with herself. "What's wrong?" Hinata prompted, hand rubbing reassuringly at her back.

"It's just...he should have greeted us by now. What if he's unhappy with…" she trailed off, staring hard at the door. "I lost the baby, what if he—"

"Excuse me."

She was interrupted before she could finish, causing the four to turn sharply towards the staircase. A tall woman with curly red hair stared back at them, eyebrows raised and looking extremely unimpressed. She was dressed in a blue dress and holding a clipboard with one hand placed on her hip. "You can't just go barging into the Kazekage's office," the woman sniffed, approaching the four. Naruto looked extremely amused while Sasuke looked annoyed as the woman sauntered closer. "He's an extremely busy man and you'll need an appointment to see him."

"Appointment?" Xin echoed incredulously, staring at the opposing woman.

"That's right. You know, a fixed mutual agreement for a meeting?" the woman raised her eyebrows in a condescending way, looking down as Xin and Hinata were much shorter. She glanced towards Naruto and Sasuke, eyes focused on Naruto's headband. "Ah. Konoha ninja, no wonder you're behaving so improperly."

"Improper?" Xin's eyebrows shot up her forehead as she fully turned to the redhead. She took a threatening step forward, shoving Naruto out of the way. "Oh, I'll show you improper, you fucking—"

"Xin, don't!"

"Woah, Xin, wait a minute!"

Naruto dipped forward, wrapping his arms around Xin's waist to tug her backwards. He pulled her off of her feet, pressing her back to his chest as Hinata and Sasuke quickly stepped into the middle of the two women. The woman took a careful step back, not expecting Xin's short temper.

"What the hell is going on up here? Who're you harassing this time, Yoshi?" A new voice cut through the loud squabbling, causing everyone to glance towards the staircase again. Kankuro stood there this time, eyes wide as he took in the sight before him. He smiled mere moments later when realization dawn on him. "Xin!" he exclaimed in excitement, hurrying closer. Naruto let the woman down, smiling weakly as she shoved the redhead out of her way. She darted towards Kankuro with a shriek of laughter, throwing herself at him to wrap her arms around his neck. He returned her excitement, arms locked around her waist to pull her off of her feet. "Holy shit, you're back!"

"Of course I'm back, you moron, I live here!"

Kankuro ignored her insult, laughing loudly as he buried his face into her hair. Jesus Christ, he knew she'd be returning but the elation at seeing her again was almost unreal. The grip on her was tight but she didn't seem to care, her own grip tight as well. "Shit, I missed you, crazy."

"I missed you too."

Kankuro finally set her back on her feet, cringing at the sound of someone clearing their throat behind them. He glanced over Xin's head, gaze falling onto an irritated Yoshi. "Kankuro, who is this woman? She tried to enter Kazekage-sama's office uninvited."

"I don't need a fuckin' invitation, you dumb—"

"C'mon, Yoshi. It's obvious who she is," Kankuro pointed out dryly, rolling his eyes at Yoshi's stubborn look. "This is Xin, my sister-in-law? Gaara's wife."

"His wife is still in Konoha recovering from her bout of amnesia, Kankuro."

"I think I would know my own sister, Yosh."

Yoshi frowned tightly. "We should have been given a warning that she was returning, then."

"We were."

At the revelation, Xin felt her heart sink. So Gaara was aware that she would be coming back and yet he hadn't bothered to greet her. She hadn't seen or heard from him in seven months, didn't he miss her?

"Anyway, this is great. Yoshi, go get Temari and tell her to get her as soon as possible," Kankuro said quickly, excitement evident on his face. He didn't give Yoshi a chance to argue, moving onto greet Hinata, Sasuke and Naruto. Xin shot her one withering glare but allowed Kankuro to pull her along.

It would seem she missed a lot of things.

Temari was just as happy to see Xin, throwing her arms around the smaller woman almost immediately. Laughter bubbled from her throat as she buried her face into Xin's hair much like Kankuro had. "I'm so glad you're back home," she sighed happily, arms tight around Xin's frame. "Gaara has been in such an awful mood since we left you in Konoha."

"It's been seven months."

"And he's been moody all seven months."

The group let out a shared laugh except for Yoshi. She stayed to herself, frowning tightly all the while. She kept her gaze on Xin, not at all happy with the sudden turn of events. She didn't understand how Temari and Kankuro knew that Xin was returning and she had not. Was Gaara aware of her coming back?

"You'd think he'd greet me if he's been so moody…" Xin trailed off, trying her best not to pout.

"Oh, he doesn't know you're back," Temari revealed easily, smiling at the confused looks. "We got Tsunade-sama's letter first and Kankuro thought it would be a good idea to surprise you."

"So he isn't avoiding me?"

"Avoiding you? Of course he isn't. He's been miserable without you," Temari laughed again, missing Xin's relieved expression. "In fact, he should be on his way here soon. How about you guys come get settled at our house and we'll leave them alone to be reunited," Temari suggested to Hinata, Naruto and Sasuke.

"We wouldn't want to put you out…" Hinata trailed off politely.

"Nonsense," Temari waved the notion off. They were the ones that made sure to get Xin home safe, the least she could do was offer her home until they were ready to leave. "Xin, you stay here, okay? We'll see you home," Temari smiled as Kankuro walked the trio to the door along with Yoshi.

Xin waved as they all filed out, reaching for Temari at the last second. "Um…" she trailed off, looking away. "Temari...is…Gaara...is he upset with me?"

"Upset? Why on Earth—" she came to a hard pause, eyes watching as Xin's hand fell to her stomach. She paled, happy disposition dropping almost immediately. "Gaara has no reason to be upset with you, Xin. You couldn't control that," she stated firmly, disappointed that Xin would even think she was to blame in that situation.

Xin avoided her gaze, hand curling against her stomach. "But he hasn't said anything."

Temari tilted her head, blinking. "What do you mean?"

"I sent him a letter after it happened and he didn't say anything back. I knew he wasn't going to come to Konoha but something would have been better than nothing."

"Nothing?" Temari repeated. "What do you mean 'nothing'? It was a bit late but Gaara sent you a letter, Xin."

"...No, he didn't write me anything."

"I physically watched him write you a letter."

The two shared a look of confusion. "That doesn't make any sense…" Xin whispered more to herself, pressing a finger to her bottom lip. "I haven't gotten anything from him."

"There must be a mistake."

Xin wanted to argue but she knew everyone was waiting for Temari. She sighed heavily, confused as ever and dropped her argument. "I'm sure there must be," she muttered quietly. "Go, if you leave Sasuke and Naruto alone with Kankuro for too long, I'm sure there'll be a small disaster waiting."

The blonde looked unsure but relented, reaching out to grab at the hand still pressed against Xin's stomach. "I'm so glad you're back, I've missed you so much. Please, don't blame yourself for what happened," she repeated just about everyone else's words. Xin smiled softly and nodded, watching silently as Temari quickly left to join the group outside. She was left to her thoughts, pulling her deep into her mind. Temari's words didn't make sense to her. How could Gaara write her letter if she hadn't received anything?

She'd written him several times over the course of her stay in Konoha and hadn't gotten a single thing back. She thought that maybe he'd just been too busy to write her back, not that it hurt any less to tell herself that, but she wanted to keep him up to date on her progress. Maybe he'd return the favor and keep her updated on what was going on with him. They were separated but that didn't mean they had to go on without one another.

But she hadn't gotten anything. Maybe he fooled Temari? Maybe he wrote the letter to ease Temari's troubled thoughts but didn't bother to send it? Maybe he really was upset with her that her body couldn't handle a pregnancy. Maybe he didn't want her anymore if she couldn't be trusted to have a child.

Her blood ran cold for a split second.

She reached up, tugging harshly at a lock of hair. Xin inhaled deeply, releasing it with a slow sigh. "Calm down, you don't know all the facts," she whispered, trying desperately to reign in her fleeting temper. "I need air," she wrung her hands together, hurrying towards the door. She just needed to gather herself before seeing him. Xin yanked the door open, wondering if she should have just climbed out of the window to save her some time. She could have even opened the window if she'd been thinking clearly enough but she couldn't seem to get a good grip on any of her whirling thoughts. It really didn't matter, she just needed to get out.

She was stopped short before she could make her escape, running face first into a broad chest. She bounced backwards with a grunt, nearly toppling over only to be caught before she could down into a heap. It took her a minute to gather herself but once she did, she glanced upwards.

Gaara stared down at her.

A plethora of various emotions overwhelmed her at that very moment, taking her breath away. A tense silence fell over them as they held a staring contest. Xin shrank into herself, mouth falling open and words failing her all at once. It was almost funny that she'd been pining over Gaara for several months and now that they were face to face, she didn't know what to say.

Gaara's face mostly didn't change except for the subtle squint of his pretty eyes. Kankuro and Temari had been acting weird all morning, severely creeping him out. On top of their weird behavior, he dealt with the council's intrusive questions about things they had no business asking about in the first place. He wasn't in the mood to deal with shenanigans, especially not cruel ones that masquerade as his wife. He wasn't sure who to blame for this trick but whoever was responsible would be dealt with accordingly.

"You…" Xin struggled to form a sentence, blinking hard. "You...you don't look happy to see me," she finally managed in a small voice, fearing the worst. Temari was wrong. Everyone was wrong.

"If this is a trick that's supposed to make me feel better, it's not working," Gaara replied after a tense moment, eyes narrowed down at her.

"Trick?" she repeated, eyebrows twitching. It dawned on her all at once, causing her to sigh. This was exactly the reason why Gaara didn't like surprises in the first place. "Gaara," she realized he was still holding onto her arm. "This isn't a trick."

But he couldn't be convinced, practically glaring daggers at her. "My wife is still recovering in Konoha," he replied after a moment's pause. "Like I said, if this is Kankuro's idea of trying to cheer me up, it's not working," he stopped and squinted even harder at her, leaning down closer. "Or if this is some harebrained scheme, Yoshi, I'm not impressed."

Xin's felt her heckles raise at the mention of the redheaded woman. The two hadn't said much but she knew good and well that she did not like her one bit. "I'm not Yoshi and this isn't Kankuro's idea. Although it was his dumb ass idea to surprise you with this, which is turning out to be a terrible idea. Gaara, this isn't a trick. It's me!" despite her insistence, she could just tell he didn't believe her. Surprising him definitely wasn't a good idea. "Oh for fuck's sake…" she muttered with a pout. "What's it going to take to convince you that it's really me?"

Gaara finally let her go, moving around her to get into the office. She realized that he was deliberately brushing her off, frustrating her to the point of nearly losing her waning temper. She had waited seven months to see him and now he wouldn't even believe that it was her.

"Tell me something only Xin would know."

She turned around and stepped into the office, closing the door behind her. Reaching for him before he could get too far, she tugged him into turning back around to face her. Sometimes she could forget how much of an asshole he could be when he was in a shitty mood.

"I lost my virginity to you," she said quickly, realizing that information like that could be easily obtained. She pursed her lips, trying hard to think of something that would only be known by the two of them. For a moment, she considered telling him that their marriage was an arrangement but threw it out once she realized that a few people knew that. She ruled out them hating one another in the beginning of the relationship, as Temari and Kankuro were witnesses to that.

Gaara turned to her fully, quietly watching as a pensive look crossed her features. He let her reach for him once more, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt. While she tried to think of something, he took the time to study her, searching for the telltale sign that whoever this was in front of him was not Xin. Short, pale and scarred with dark hair and light eyes. He did note, however, that her hair had grown from her bob down to her waist. She seemed to have lost some of her coveted muscle mass but seemed a little more shapely. She was dressed in her usual fashion of dark purple and black, clothes tight against her curves.

Other than minor changes to her appearance, such as her hair, he couldn't pick out where her disguise went wrong. He felt his frustration building at the sight of her, lustful yearning coming to a boiling point. She stepped closer to him, overwhelming him with her familiar scent of lavender and spice, unaware of his waning temper.

Gaara reached forward, seizing her by the biceps and dragging her forward to press her against his chest. She let out a surprised squeak, eyes wide as he curved over her, glaring right into her face with a fire burning in his eyes. "Do you think this is funny?"

Xin blinked wide eyes, too upset to really get angry with him. "For fuck's sake, what can I say to make you believe me?" she snapped in a watery voice. "I confessed that I killed my team to you on our honeymoon. I didn't wear shoes at our wedding. Temari and Kankuro broke a mixing bowl from Mikoto that I liked. These scars are on my wrist are from those idiots who tried to break into Suna. I ripped Ateru's eyeballs out of his head. I taught you how to wrap a wound by wrapping the wound on my back."

If Gaara was surprised by her sudden outburst, he didn't show it. He continued to stare down at her, eyes still narrowed. "Gaara, please," Xin pleaded with him. "It's been seven months. I've had a breakdown, amnesia and a misscarriage. I basically went through all of this without you, without remembering you. Can you please just…."

She stopped short, remembering being carried through the hospital, having gone into shock from all the blood pouring from her, and just wondering where Gaara was. She'd been surrounded by friends and family at the time but all she could think about was a husband she barely remembered. Tears filled her eyes as she relived the trauma of stumbling into the Uchiha's bathroom, alone, bleeding out. Dying, she was sure that she'd been dying at that point. She was sure that she was going to die in that bathroom by herself. She remembered muddling through various memories, feeling alone despite constantly being surrounded by everyone.

The grip on her biceps relented, fingers slowly unfurling from her arms. The anger gradually faded from his eyes as he continued to peer down at her. He watched as the tears ran rivulets down her cheeks, clinging to her chin before pattering to the floor below them. Realization dawned on him all at once that this woman couldn't be anyone but Hyuga Xin. Dread ran through his blood, realizing that her tearful break was only caused by his callous reaction to her sudden return. "Xin..?" he tugged his sleeve down past his hand, using the sleeve to dab and blot at her tears. "...I...I'm sorry, I didn't know…."

She tilted her face up, red and teary as he continued to catch her tears with his sleeve. "You believe me? You believe it's me?"

"Yes."

She let out a laugh that sounded both sad and relieved. "It was supposed to be a surprise. Tsunade sent a letter last week but Kankuro thought it would be a good idea to surprise you to make you feel better."

"I hate surprises.."

"I know."

He pressed a hand to the curve of her face, cupping her cheek. His other hand fell to her hip, gripping her hard through the fabric of her pants. He coaxed her closer to him, body pressing intimately against him. It felt right immediately, her feminine curves fitting against him like a missing puzzle piece. He clearly remembered the last time he hugged her, right before leaving her in Konoha and regretting it.

Gaara's arms slipped around her waist, grip relentlessly tight as he pulled her as close as possible. She leaned against him on the tips of her toes, her own arms circling his neck as he buried his face into her neck. "You're back," he breathed against her skin. Relief washed over the both of them for different reasons.

Xin was a bit caught off guard when he suddenly pulled away from her face only to press his mouth against hers. She automatically tilted her head backwards in order to catch his lips better, sighing deeply against him. Their kiss was sweet and drawn out, as if they were trying to reacquaint themselves with each other again.

Gaara pulled away first, half-lidded eyes staring deeply into her own. He backed up without warning, tugging her along after him. He walked himself backwards, reclining against the edge of the desk and allowing Xin to stand in between his legs. She leaned forward, draping herself against his chest to continue kissing him.

He kissed her hard, hand pressed to the back of her head and fingers tangling in her hair. She steadied herself by clutching his front, nails digging through his shirt to his skin. A whimper resonated from her throat, hands clenching tighter and tighter the rougher the kiss became. He sucked her bottom lip into his mouth, teething at the appendage teasingly.

Gaara's hand crept around her waist, grabbing at the ridiculously bow holding her obi closed. He pulled at it, undoing the knot she'd been able to twist it into. She didn't notice, distracted by his tongue mapping out the inside of her mouth. He undid the bow, letting it drop to the floor and allowing her shortened kimono to hang open.

The garment was pushed down to her elbows when she snapped out of her daze. With a startled squeak, she reeled backwards and away from Gaara's wandering hands and violent kisses. "Are you insane?" she hissed frantically, hiding her breasts behind crossed arms.

He regarded her with a blank look, eyes dropping down to her breasts. "No," he muttered crossly as she tightened her arms.

"We can't do that here!"

"We've done it before."

"It's the middle of the day, Gaara. What if someone comes in?!"

"Then let's go home."

"Kankuro and Temari took the team home to stay for the night."

"What."

Xin balked at his displeasure, smiling weakly. "I came with my sister, Naruto and Sasuke. Temari offered to let them stay the night," she explained, eyes dropping towards the floor. She scooped up her forgotten obi, still managing to keep her arms pinned to her breasts.

"We have hotels."

Xin paused, eyebrows raised. "It's just one night, what's wrong with that?"

"It's been seven months."

Her arms dropped, giving him just a fleeting view of her breasts before she pulled her top closed. "Help me retie this," she murmured, handing him the white cloth. He only grunted in disatisfaction, taking the obi as she presented her back to him. He looped the obi around her middle, allowing her to readjust it to sit comfortably under her breasts.

He twisted the ends of the obi around his hands, dragging her backwards until she was encased between his legs once again. "Gaara—" she tried to sound stern but he hooked his chin over her shoulder and pressed a kiss to her neck, teething at her skin like he'd done at her lip. He pulled back abruptly, making short work of her obi. He spun her back around to face him, eyes dropping to her generous cleavage and sighing heavily.

"You remember everything?"

Her face turned red, just how he liked so much, as she tried to gather her wits. "Some things are still a bit foggy but for the most part, I do," she answered in a voice barely above a whisper. "You...you still want me? Even though I…." she trailed off, face twisting into something akin to pain. "I miscarried, Gaara. What if I can't have children?"

"There are other ways to have children, Xin," he reassured her in a soft tone. He could see the guilt slowly making its way over her features. "And what would make you think that I don't want you?"

Xin's painful expression became frustrated, her brows knitting together as she thought of something. "You didn't even write to me. I sent you a letter about the miscarriage and you never said anything back. I still wrote to you and you never replied, what was I supposed to think?"

She had thought the worst, of course. That out of everything that could go wrong, her not being able to handle a pregnancy would end the marriage. She agonized over the very thought of it even though her sisters and Sakura and everyone insisted otherwise.

"Hinata insisted that you had the right to know—and you did, you did but.." she paused, trying to control her whirling emotions. Sakura and Tsunade lectured her time and time again about getting a better grip over her emotions. Her emotions spurred her on to behaving irrationally. "The child was half of you so had to know but...why didn't you say anything? Even if you were upset with me, something would have been better than nothing."

It wasn't like she expected him to make the trip to Konoha or anything to that degree. At the end of the day, he was still the Kazekage and he still had a village to look over. He couldn't shuck his duties because she was suffering, she understood completely. And besides, it wasn't like she was completely alone in Konoha. Everyone had rallied together to make sure that she knew that she was loved and was not blamed and that she could still have children once she was healed and ready.

But Gaara had been silent.

Xin roughly ran her hand through her hair, pulling and twisting on her locks as she tried to keep herself from another outburst. What's more, he hadn't said anything at all during her time away. Even if he ignored her first letter, he still could have written something, goddammit.

"Xin," Gaara reached forward, hands circling her wrists. He was staring down at her with an odd look in his eyes, like he couldn't quite comprehend what she was saying. "You've got it wrong," he insisted, pressing her hands against his chest in a bid to get her stop violently pulling on her hair.

"You're the one who hasn't written. I've written you several letters and you never replied."

TeeBeMe: 100% of last chapters reviews was everyone insisting and celebrating that Xin was finally coming home. lol, I just thought that was funny. That or everyone cheering that Xin is going to kick Yoshi's ass, which is even funnier. You guys are truly the best.