As Friday night rolled up I honestly felt like I was dreaming, that the city was not real, but a figment of my imagination. I spent so much time with my head in books and papers, finally attending school for written and practical exams, that when I got out of my apartment to meet with the girls I was honestly lost in my own head space. Faking a limp at school was easy once Botan brought me the so called medical papers so I could study my fake injuries. Lying came easy, countless smiling faces faking it just as much as I was, wishing me all the best, stating they are happy I was back. I wasn't. I honestly felt I was doing everything on autopilot, just to see it to the end, without any satisfaction.
Whenever my brain refused to process information, I would shift my focus, looking through files on relocated demons, learning about the ones we brought to our world. I would keep in touch with Kurama via a text or phone call, short periods when I would allow myself to breathe and my brain to relax. Relocations have been put on hold, Enki ordering it, not Koenma. Honestly I was surprised he didn't ask for my return to Demon World, not that I would have jumped at the opportunity, but I was curious to know what they were all discussing behind closed doors. One thing I was certain of though, Kurama would never allow me to go alone again. To be honest if I was return I would do it alongside someone, more than likely Kurama, since I didn't want another thing straining the relationship we were trying to build.
Arriving in front of the pub we decided on, I put out the cigarette in my hand and proceeded to the terrace where we had a table reserved. The girls all waved at me smiling as I slid next to Shizuru, eyes falling on the menu in order to decide on a drink. In truth I was pretending, diverting my attention from them. Botan had been the only one who had seen me since the lost relocation and I was fine with that because she was the only one who could really help with bits of information. The rest didn't need to know more, there was a new threat and that was enough.
"So how's Kuwabara?" throwing a question out there I looked up "Does he think he passed all his exams?" through the corner of my eyes I saw Shizuru cracking a smile before placing a cigarette between her lips. Yukina drew my attention next, telling us all how much he studied for everything and that she had faith in him. Keiko looked as tired as me, but relieved at the same time since the learning lock-down had officially ended. We would also receive our grades the following week so that was something to look forward to, or dread depending on each case.
"Little bro will probably get drunk and not wake up until Monday." It came as a surprise when I heard Kuwabara was out drinking with Yusuke, Jin and Ito. Apparently while we were studying, Ito actually made friends with Jin and started hanging out at the temple, helping out and all that. Spirit World allowed him to go the settlement close to the safe house, however he refused, instead asking for permission to visit the city from time to time so he could see his brother. Chuckling, I looked over at Shizuru, before the waiter arrived. Ordering a coffee and a soda, all eyes were diverted to me "You got a fever girl?" Shizuru slapped her hand over my forehead causing me to groan.
"No" pushing her hand away I rubbed the sore patch of skin "the night is young, there's time to drink." All girls lowered their eyes, each taking in their alcoholic drinks. Shrugging my shoulders I pulled out my pack of cigarettes. Shizuru gave me a nudge, asking if she could have a word with me in private. I honestly hated when someone asked that, it meant the subject was sensitive.
Leaving the girls to their own small talk, me and Shizuru stepped away from the terrace. She took time to really look at me, smoking calmly as her mind worked. Me on the other hand didn't really care, I had enough people analysing me, I just couldn't be bothered anymore.
"I'm sorry." I blinked surprised, not really understanding where the apology came from "When you came to speak with Kazuma, I thought you wanted to drag him on a mission. I didn't know you were there to ask for advice, so sorry for being suspicious of you."
Shrugging my shoulders I smiled her way "No harm done, didn't even stop to think about it. It's normal for you to protect him, especially so close to the exam period. I would have done the same."
Somehow she didn't look too satisfied with my response or something, as that deadpan expressions remained unchanged apart from a few hints here and there "You're different Hana, everything started taking a toll on you."
A small smirk formed on my lips as I cocked a brow "Of course it did, it's impossible not to. But I learned from it. There's absolutely no point in being a block head, not going to get me anywhere." Squinting her eyes, she decided it's best to drop it and I for one was thankful. I was certain the girls didn't know as much as the boys, Botan being the only exception because of her affiliation with both worlds.
"So, have you and Kurama finally decided to seal the deal?" guess we had to talk about something while we finished smoking. Something about how I looked at her, smiled, made her relax.
"We are talking, haven't seen him in a long time so maybe this weekend. If I decide to go to the temple." Of course she asked if we had a lover's quarrel, so after rolling my eyes at her, I started talking "He did something that doesn't sit well with me, not even now, but you know." Eventually she nudged me enough and in such a way that I ended up telling her the Sora incident.
Shizuru nodded her head, taking my words in, but not commenting on it "You know I have never thought you would go for him." Our eyes locked, a smile shaping her lips "Don't get me wrong, he's a good guy but he's going to drive himself and you crazy just by overthinking everything." We both laughed at that, she was right in that sense "I would have expected to see you with someone like Yusuke or Jin." Again I couldn't say no to that logic. I knew very well I needed someone more open, someone who could be honest about their feelings and help me tear down my own walls "But I know he cares for you, I can see it on his face and he would do anything to keep you safe."
"Well, we'll see. I will break him." It was her time to raise her brows, however a playful smirk followed when I winked her way "Honestly I think he might need a good shag." Throwing her arm over my shoulder we both laughed.
"It better be good Hana, that boy needs a factory reset."
The girls were surprised to see us laughing so hard without having any alcohol ingested, but immediately adapted to the good mood, especially when I left to order drinks from the bar. Reaching the bartended, he looked at me, a big smile revealing a set of perfect white teeth, small fangs catching my attention "Hello" my eyes turned to his name tag "Shiro, we are here for some fun, so I would like to order five Cosmopolitans, but" his eyes widened slightly as he provided me all his attention "one needs to be without alcohol, mine. Charge it normally yes? This will be our secret." Once he understood, he got to working, I took one last glance in his direction. His hair had a purple hint to it, how the light hit it, something unearthly drawing my attention to him. The world was full of demons, I had gathered that, just that lately I was noticing them more and more.
Once I was back at the table, I flashed the best smile I could. They didn't need to know what was eating me. Botan was the only one stealing glances since one way or another she has seen me lately and was worried. Exhausted is the first word that comes to mind when I think of the past weeks, my brain absorbing so much information. When I was not training my brain, I was training my powers. I needed to get stronger, better but also do it on my own terms. Botan brought files, information and documents on souls, told me about her jobs as a Ripper, all that she could provide really. Frustrated is a second word I would use, anger fuelled me but not how it should, it helped me push, but not gain much. I needed something else. I needed to stop hiding, just didn't know how to do that.
"How did your exams go Hana?" Yukina's voice drew me back to the table just in time to also see the waiter arrive with the drinks. Placing the glasses on the table, mine was provided last, a short nod telling me that one in front of me was without alcohol. Surely enough I couldn't taste a thing.
Granting Yukina the attention she deserved I finally answered "I think I did ok, not great unfortunately, but at least I know that the practice part will grant my grades a boast." Lifting my drink I smiled "But please let's talk about something else, if I hear about exams one more time I am going to puke."
Seconding that, Keiko finally looked to be relaxing "So where's Kurama if he's not with the boys?" that I could answer since I talked to him before heading out. He was preparing for a big presentation on Monday and needed to get more hours in. None of us were sure if we would even go to the temple, especially with everyone being in the city. Everyone except Hiei of course. We could not afford to have the temple unguarded.
"Well I hope we can go to the temple tomorrow." That was not something I expected Shizuru to state, especially since she wasn't always there during the weekend "I miss your shenanigans." That was especially directed at me, everyone looking over. A devilish smile built up as I took the girls in.
"Well, I still have some in me. We all need a bit of fun after all that happened." Yukina placed one hand over mine, sad eyes causing my brain to question what I just said "What?"
"Are you sure you're alright?" opening my mouth I tried to speak but couldn't. Botan placed a hand on the ice maiden's shoulder, shaking her head slowly, urging her to let it go "But" confusion creased her forehead as she kept looking at us "Why is no one talking about it?" her fingers gripped my hand tight, crimson jewels turning serious "How can you not? There is a new threat…"
"Yukina" I muttered though my teeth, nostrils flaring "I don't know what you know, if you know everything and I don't care." A small gasp left her mouth as her hand retreated "It's not that I don't want to talk about it, in fact I am tired of it because talking won't help." Pulling out a cigarette with my teeth I light it, leaving it to dangle in the corner of my mouth "You don't need to hear about how I feel, you need to hear about what we are doing to erase this threat." Exhaling the fumes through my nose I continued as everyone looked uncomfortable "And the answer is I don't have a fucking clue ok?"
"That is not right." I actually glared at Botan "You are doing your best."
"My best?" I laughed, cigarette falling on the table. The sounds leaving my mouth sounded chocked, I was forcing myself to laugh "No, my best would be returning to Demon World."
Shizuru hushed me since I was starting to talk to loud "Look" I didn't know how she managed to put everyone in their place, but she did "you don't have all the answers and to be honest you shouldn't. Yukina is just concerned, we all are ok? So take it as it is and suck it up." Retrieving my cigarette I put it out in the ashtray.
"Fine, what now? Do we all hug?" Shizuru and Yukina both threw their arms around me, Botan and Keiko getting up to join the group's display of affection. I couldn't even breathe properly but I laughed, a true laugh, one that I missed. Shizuru's hair tickled my face, while Botan's almost landed in my mouth. This was a mess, a good mess and I liked it.
We decided not to talk about threats, issues and other such gloomy subjects, instead ordering some food and just letting the conversation flow. It didn't really matter what we talked about as long as we laughing. Pulling my phone I messaged Kurama at one point.
"Still at work?" the reply from him came back relatively easy "No, just got home. Need to pick up where I left off. Can I see you tomorrow?" tapping my fingers on the screen I told him that we will see. Turning back to the girls, I grinned, my mind working on a master plan.