So I decided to split "the last chapter" into "the last two chapters" and I'm posting them both at the same time :-). See you at the end, where I've left a much longer note for you!
Crusher tossed her blue lab coat over the arm of the sofa. Tomorrow, the Enterprise would reach Earth. And while most of the crew was eager for some shore leave, she found herself mourning the time she would have to spend away from her beloved ship. A little routine was what she needed, she told herself. Something to make life feel blessedly normal again. Although, if she was being honest with herself, she knew her reluctance had more to do with saying goodbye to the captain for two whole weeks.
They had been spending a lot of time together, with the ship at a standstill and everything on hold until he could be medically cleared. She had half a mind to keep him in sickbay longer than was actually necessary, if only for his company.
A knock at the door interrupted Crusher's train of thought. It was a shy knock, the hesitant sound of a person who might be having second thoughts. To her surprise, she found Carmen Riker standing on her threshold.
"Carmen? What are you doing here?"
A pained expression stretched her features taut. "I...I was just…"
Recent events had left a tangible impression on the young woman, and she spent most of her time following her mother around like a shadow. Crusher convinced herself it was nothing personal, the way she hadn't come by to see her until now. Carmen just needed time to recover, that was all.
"If you're looking for your mom, she's playing poker with the others. I was supposed to join them, but I think I'm too tired for card games."
"Actually…" Carmen fidgeted nervously. "I was looking for you. But if you're too tired-"
"Now hold on," Crusher interrupted. "I said I was too tired for card games. What did you have in mind?"
"I was wondering if...maybe I could sort of...stay for a few minutes?" She tried to smile, but it turned into more of a grimace. Crusher had to try her hardest not to laugh.
"You know what? I'd love some company. Find somewhere to sit, I'll go fetch us a snack."
She went over to the replicator, ordering a plate of crackers and cheese, and by the time she had returned Carmen was sitting at the very end of the sofa with her hands in her lap.
"Here," she offered. "Dive in."
Carmen picked up a cracker and stared at it. Never before had Crusher known the young woman to be apathetic about food. Time. She just needs time, the doctor once again assured herself.
"So how are you holding up?" she asked.
"Fine, fine," Carmen replied. But then she sighed, changing her mind. "I guess I didn't think it would be this...difficult. Coming home. When I was stuck on Leyton's base, it was all I thought about. All I wanted. I mean, it's still what I want, but it's not all I want. If that makes sense…"
"Sure it does. But go on."
Carmen set the cracker down without eating it. "I learned a lot back there, on the Ranger. I belong here, on the Enterprise, but I don't always fit in and sometimes it feels like…" She floundered for words, and her hands waved in the air, trying to articulate. "It feels like something is missing. And something will always be missing. Sorry, I haven't even asked how you're doing."
"What's this? A humble Carmen?" the doctor teased. Carmen made a face at her, but seemed to brighten a little. She seemed eager for the chance to lighten the mood. "And I'm fine, by the way. Let's talk about something else, shall we?"
"Alright. Sure." Carmen scooted closer to the edge of her seat in order to reach the food better. This time, she took several crackers and a pile of cheese. "What should we talk about?"
"Well…" Crusher glanced around her quarters, almost as if she were ensuring their privacy, and then leaned closer to Carmen. "Is Ensign Sheppard a good kisser?"
"Dr. Crusher!"
"Come on, you can tell me these things," she insisted. "Deanna confides in me all the time."
A wrinkle appeared in Carmen's forehead. "You mean my mom comes in here and talks about…?" She leaned over her knees and pretended to retch. "Never mind, forget I asked."
Crusher laughed, giving her a sympathetic pat. "Don't worry, we're not talking about your parents. We're talking about Ensign Sheppard."
"No we aren't."
"Fine then, I'll start." She pushed her bright red hair over her shoulder and cleared her throat. "I had this boyfriend once, his name was Mikelis. He used to sing to me all the time. I loved his voice, but...well, not as much as I loved his abs. Lord have mercy."
"Really?" Carmen snorted. "His abs?"
"Hey, I can appreciate a well-built body as much as the next woman. It's scientific, you know."
"It is?"
She shrugged her shoulders. "Probably."
Carmen laughed so hard that she had to set her food down until she had recovered.
"So what about Sheppard?" Crusher continued.
"What about him?"
"Does he sing to you?"
"He only sings after he's had some bloodwine."
"Well does he at least have nice abs?"
"What kind of cheese is this, anyway? It's very creamy-"
"Okay, okay, forget it." Crusher threw her hands into the air. "I know not every guy can be a Mikelis. And I know Allan spends a lot of time in the arboretum, which doesn't exactly build a six pack. I was just thinking there must be something redeemable about him-"
"For your information," Carmen said, her eyes narrowing, "he does mok'bara and anbo-jyutsu with me twice a week, and while he doesn't have a six pack, he's-" She stopped herself as Crusher began to giggle. "You're goading me on purpose, aren't you?"
"Sure am. Go on, you were saying…?"
A hint of a red touched Carmen's cheeks. "He might not have a six pack, but...he's an amazing kisser."
Crusher smiled at the way Carmen gave her shoulders a little shake, as though casting off a weight. Maybe time wasn't the only thing the young woman needed. Maybe, like the doctor, she also just needed to feel normal again. "You know, Mikelis was pretty lacking in that department. There just wasn't any chemistry, what a shame. Wait right here, I'm going to grab us something to drink."
As she made her way over to the replicator, Carmen settled into the cushions with a sigh. "So...out of all the guys you've kissed, who was the best kisser?"
When Crusher turned back around, something devious glimmered in her eye. "Jean Luc."
Carmen shot forward, inhaling her cracker so suddenly that she could only pound at her chest and wheeze until it had cleared her airway.
Picard stood at his window, gazing down at the marbled blue sphere below. Vulnerable. It just drifted through space, utterly vulnerable. Nothing was as safe as he used to believe. He shook his head, trying to clear his mind of a lingering echo. Resistance is futile…
Chimes rang throughout his ready room, mercifully filling the silence. "Come," he called, straightening his shoulders.
A woman with red-gold hair breezed into the room. Picard's chest gave a thump at the sight. "How soon til we dock?" she asked.
"Less than an hour," he replied. "Uh, tea? I was about to make some for myself."
Crusher nodded, wandering over to his desk. A book sat under the lamp, with faded gold letters across the top that read Six Frigates. Below that was the washed out painting of an ancient ship on a frothing, turbulent sea. She picked it up with a smile.
"I remember this one. In fact, I told Commander Riker about it recently. Something John Paul Jones once said."
"Ah, yes." Picard turned away from the replicator, a cup of tea in each hand. "I have not yet begun to fight. One of my favorite quotes."
A slip of paper fell from between the pages. As Crusher stooped to pick it up, Picard began to stop her, but something held the words back from his tongue.
"What's this?" she asked, carefully unfolding a handwritten note.
""It's...from you," he said. "Beverly Crusher, I mean. Troi brought it with her from the USS Ranger."
She swallowed, holding the note in front of her face. Her lips mouthed the words as she read the first few lines.
"I don't expect you will ever see this, Jean Luc. Perhaps I need to write it more than you need to read it. But here goes…"
Line by line, her eyes followed the words. When she looked up again, Picard was holding out a cup of tea. He said nothing, standing beside her in companionable silence and waiting for the words to sink into her mind the way they had sunk into his.
Crusher set the book and the note down on the desk. One of her hands took the cup of tea. The other found its way to his side, and, still saying nothing, she slipped her fingers through his.
"It was a lovely note," he said, breaking the silence at last.
Nodding, she blew across the top of her tea. "A very lovely note."
"Beverly, I was wondering if...could we have dinner sometime? Maybe when we set sail again? I know breakfast is our tradition, but-"
"I'd love to." She pressed the back of his hand to her cheek. "It's about time we made some new traditions."
Last chapter, coming up next -