AUTHORS NOTE: I know I am starting to suck with posting updates.

Jax isn't too fucking sure how he made it back home. After seeing that photo of Cameron dead in Ireland, he didn't know if it was anger or pure fucking panic he felt. He still doesn't know how he managed to make it home without crashing his bike.

And right now, the quiet, dark house is the last place he wants to fucking be. There's no Cheyenne and no Abel. And he's angry and scared and he doesn't even know how to channel that fucking rage into something useful.

So he staggers through the house, he looks at the various photos on the wall. There are photos of him, Cheyenne, Lip, his parents, Isla, Opie, Donna, and the kids. There's Abel and his eyes settle upon a candid of him, Cheyenne, and Abel. They are so fucking happy it makes his gut turn.

His dad sure as shit didn't write anything in the manuscript about how to handle this type of fucking pain. He finds that he can't walks any further in the house. He can't walk pass Abel's room. So he goes somewhere neutral and into Cheyenne's office. He looks at all her diplomas. The walls are filled with her accomplishments. She's a fucking doctor and he is just an outlaw biker.

He sags into her desk chair. His eyes look at all her little nicks knacks and the paperwork. He is taken back about how messy the desk looks considering that Cheyenne is a neat freak.

He doesn't even means to snoop or go through her things, but he sees the note book of where she was writing down a list of things she wanted to redecorate. He thought it would be something neutral to look at. He figures worrying about money is better than the hatred that is growing in him.

Yet, as he opens the notebook, he's taken back by the paper that rests inside. He assumes it was meant to be hidden. But his heart drops as he reads the paper and he storms out of the study and he doesn't think as he enters Abel's room and throws the fucking dresser across the room.

…

Sleep evades Cheyenne. She could not get comfortable on the bed. When she closed her eyes all she could see is Half Sack dying along with Isla and her son being taken from her arms. She was just hopeless in watching it happen all before her. Instead of waiting for sleep to come, she headed downstairs and outside into Nate's garden.

For the first time that night, she feels as if she can finally breathe. With Abel being gone, she doesn't know how to handle the reappearance of her mother. She knows deep down that her mom being in Oregon and them seeing each other doesn't change anything. Her mom will be a disappearing figure once they leave.

Cheyenne debates if she should even tell Lip that their mother is here. She has been here. Her mother was able to care for someone else other than her own children.

Cheyenne lets out a startle squeak when a hand comes down on her shoulder.

"Oh, I'm sorry sweetheart didn't mean to startle you." Nate says.

"Oh it's okay." Cheyenne replies. As she looks at him, since she arrived Nate didn't really seem to care for her presence. She wasn't hurt or offended, but she was glad it didn't seem to mess up his routine. "Do you need something?"

"Gemma tells me you're the wife of my grandson, Jackson. You two have a baby boy, Abel. It's a strong name."

Cheyenne doesn't brother to correct him that she isn't married to Jax. "Yeah, we do."

"Is he treating you well? The last time I seen the boy was when he was a little shithead as a teenager."

Cheyenne knows what Nate is referring too. Nate had come down to Charming for John's funeral. "Yeah, he is."

"That's good." Nate says as he sits down. "I still remember when Gemma came back after disappearing with Jackson and those bikers. Broke her mother's heart."

"What about you?" She asks softly.

"Oh well, despite John being older than I liked for my baby girl. He was a nice man. Very smart. Had a good heart. I was sad when he died then she married Clay." He remarks bitterly. "Him I don't care for."

Cheyenne smiles at that.

"Does Abel have the family flaw?" Nate asks delicately.

"Yeah, it resulted in an early birth. But he pulled through." Cheyenne tells him and she closes her eyes as tears threaten to fall.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. Rose hated that she passed that down to her children and grandchildren. When we lost Nathanial and when Gemma lost Thomas…the guilt ate her up."

Cheyenne thoughts turn toward the youngest Teller. Thomas was the reason Cheyenne had decided to become a nurse initially. She had plans to become a cardiologist, but life plans had changed. But Thomas was always the motivation behind her drive to be in the medical field.

She wanted to help people like the nurses and doctors had tried to do with Thomas.

She recalls one of the last moments she had with Thomas before his final hospital stint. They had managed to convince their moms to take them to the park. They were collecting rocks when the little boy, with dark blonde hair fighting off the brown hue threatening to make its presence known and blue eyes matching Jax's now familiar shade, claimed she was the prettiest girl in the world, besides his mother. She doesn't know what made Thomas say that, but he did. In response, she gave Thomas a kiss on the cheek. She never told Jax that story.

"I'm sorry about Rose, Nate." Cheyenne says carefully hoping it wouldn't cause the man to go into a fit.

Nate smiles softly, "I like to think she's in a better place. She's no longer suffering."

Cheyenne smiles as well. A part of her wanted to have the chance to meet Rose. She wanted to get to know the people the shaped Gemma to be the way she was and just from certain things in the home she could tell that much of Gemma came from her father and also Rose.

"You know, you're a pretty girl, so I can't help but wonder what you're doing with my grandson."

Cheyenne laughs, which causes Nate to laugh as well. "You know Nate, I wonder the same thing."

The two watch the sunrise.

…

"You sure you don't want to come with us, bro?" Jax asks Lip as he packs a pack for the trip. He knows it's going to be an emotional hurricane considering that they have to break the news about Abel to his mom. He thinks he would really love Lip to be there especially since Jax has plans to send Cheyenne back to Charming.

"I should stay. For Isla. Right now, ain't the best time for me to be on the road." Lip tells him.

Jax nods his head in understanding.

"I'll be here when you get back." Lip assures him.

"I know." Jax says.

"Just bring them home, Jax."

…

Cheyenne is placing Rose's old clothes in a box when a knock comes at the door. Turning she finds her mom standing there.

"I was wondering if we could go somewhere to talk. I know the guys are arriving, but I thought before they came –"

"Yeah, we can go somewhere." Cheyenne says instantly.

Cheryl smiles relieved. "Okay. Okay. Whenever you're ready we can go."

"We can go now."

…

At 49 years old, Cheryl Henderson knows she has made a lot of mistakes in her life. A lot of them. She has done a lot to try to atone for them. She had tried and tried. But she knows her greatest mistakes were for believing she was doing the right thing by leaving Charming and her children. She doesn't regret leaving Charming. She knows Charming is poison, but it was wrong for her to leave her children behind. She knows then by being a junkie it would have been hard to just take the kids from Charming and the club, but over the years she has realized that it would have been better to die than to let her children be a part of the club. She has resigned to the fact Lip would be groomed for it. She had watched it happen before her very eyes. She seen the calculating look in Clay's steely eyes when John had begun to question their life and realizes John had been sharing his every regret with Philip. She had warned Philip that he shouldn't be privy to the things he was too as he wasn't a member. And there are days she hates Philip for his blindness. She hates him for being the pathetic optimistic junkie he was.

And through the years the only thing that had got her through her regret and grief was the fact Cheyenne had broken the mold. She had got out of Charming. Yet, she should have known Charming would have pulled her back. Charming doesn't let anyone leave without sacrifices.

She knows Lip will never leave the club. Her only hope is that her granddaughter she doesn't even know can leave.

But her heart worries for Cheyenne. She's scared for her daughter in a way she can't be for her son. And her daughter isn't the 12 year old girl she left behind. Her daughter is a woman – a mother – and she hates to think what Charming may ask her to sacrifice.

Cheryl takes her daughter to Klamath Falls Park. There is a great lake surrounded by beautiful trees and flowers. Nate used to take her here all the time as she struggled the first couple years.

Cheryl turns to her daughter who happens to be a perfect combination of her and Phillip. She knows that Cheyenne and Lip were the only good things that ever came out of her relationship with her first husband.

Cheryl has a love hate relationship with her first husband. She finds it's hard to hate him when he had given her two of the most precious things to her. But she knows she would have been better off never getting married to Lip. She should have left him after Lip – after Cheyenne – was born. She should have told him they were fine not being in Charming. He didn't need to follow John, Clay, or Piney as he had no plans to patch into the club.

But she had followed that bastard because she needed him. She wanted him. She was young and stupid. She was a junkie just following her next fix. Her children paid the price for it.

"I'm not going to insult you with an apology." Cheryl tells her daughter. "I've made a lot of mistakes as your mother, but at the time, I believed it was better for me to be out of your lives. My recovery – sobriety – never stuck then…I didn't want to keep doing that to you and your brother."

"But it's been 15 years. You could've sent cards for holidays or birthdays. You could've called when Isla was born. You got married for Christ Sakes!" Cheyenne tells her.

Cheryl nods her head as she looks down at her wedding ring. Her marriage had come as a surprise as she didn't expect to fall in love again especially with someone like Viktor.

"I know." Cheryl says in shame.

"This is just your guilt talking."

"Maybe, but it's also the truth. I love you and your brother so much." Cheryl tells her through unshed tears.

"You love us?" Cheyenne repeats sarcastically. "That's the truth. If you loved us so much why would you let the man that murdered our father raise us."

Cheryl looks away in shame. She had known the truth was about to come out after that phone call from Agent Stahl. "Cheyenne –"

"Oh so you are going to keep the lie up?"

"You don't understand. I kept it to protect you and your brother."

"To protect us. We had a right to know."

"You were 12 years old." Cheryl counters. "You didn't need to know that. What happened…happened we can't change anything. It's been dealt with."

"How can you say that? Like Dad's death doesn't affect why we are all where we are."

"Obviously it doesn't affect you that much if you had Jax Teller's child!" Cheryl snaps. "Abel's going to think of Clay as his grandfather right? How could you let yourself get be an old lady?"

"Like you have any right to question me about whom I'm with. First a junkie and now a Russian mobster."

Cheryl has no response to that. "I wanted more for you. Charming - that club – is poison to our family."

Cheyenne rolls her eyes. "You were the poison, Mom. You and dad were poison. You couldn't keep your veins fucking clean. You know because of you, Lip ended up marrying a drug addict. Isla had to grow up knowing a fraction of Lip and I had gone through with you and Dad."

Cheryl looks away in shame and grief.

"You know I do believe you loved Dad." Cheyenne begins. "It's the one thing that I knew out of the drug abuse that was real and not tainted by drugs. I just wish Lip and I were enough too."

"You were. You are." Cheryl says as she reaches out to grab Cheyenne's hand.

"No, we're not.

…

Jax can't help the smile that over takes his features as he watches his mom run out from her father's house and into Clay's arms. In the wake of misery, he is glad to find something that makes him smile. Despite how much he misses his mom, his eyes can't help trail behind her and Tig as he searches for Cheyenne. She's nowhere in sight.

After his mom's enthusiastic greeting to Clay, his mom makes her way over to him giving him a tight hug. And he can't help, but frown as he knows when they inform her about Abel it will break her heart and she will string them all by the balls for keeping it a secret from her.

"God I missed you so much," She tells him through unshed tears.

"Me too," he tells her as he squeezes her back.

"How's our little man?"

And god help him, he can't look his mother in her eyes as he lies. He distracts himself by digging for a cigarette as he replies, "He's good."

"Is he with Neeta?"

"Lip. Fawn's helping out too." He tells her with a closed lip smile. "Where's Chey?"

At least his mom shoots him and Clay a cagey look. Both of them become defensive.

"What is it?"

His mom looks at Clay before she sighs and places her heads on her hips. "Cheryl's here."

Jax looks confused while Clay looks incredulous.

"Cheryl? As in her mother?" Jax asks for clarification.

Gemma nods.

"What the hell is she doing here?" Clay demands.

"Apparently she helps out."

"Where is Chey?" Jax asks.

"Her and Cheryl went out to talk. Should be back soon." She tells him somberly.

…

Gemma watches as her son paces as he waits for Cheyenne's return. She wasn't exactly thrilled about hearing her new residence being Vancouver, but she had to live with the ripples effect of how she found closure. After all, she didn't regret what she had to do.

"Hey, can we talk?"

Gemma looks over at Clay and follows him into the room for privacy. She already knows what he wants to talk about.

"So she's been here the past 15 years helping out?" Clay asks.

Gemma nods her head. "That's what she claimed. Not surprised."

"The last thing we need is her setting fires. It's a good thing Lip didn't come." Clay mutters. "What's her plan?"

"I don't know, Clay. I don't know if we should be worried or not." Gemma tells him truthfully.

"Well she always had great fucking timing." Clay pouts as he lights a cigar and walks away from her.

…

Cheyenne keeps her gaze to the passing road. She can't look at her mother. She doesn't particularly want too. There is just too much hurt in her life to properly handle her mom's presence. With Abel being gone, she doesn't have it in her to deal with anything else.

But she's stuck in this car with her and she can't handle the silence.

"Does your husband treat you nice?" Cheyenne decides to ask.

"Yes, I'm happy with him." Cheryl tells her. "And you and Jax are happy?"

Cheyenne nods her head. But she's hesitant to answer the question with her words as now her and Jax's world is in shambles.

"And you named your son, Abel, that's a nice and strong name."

"He looks like Jax."

"And I imagine the next one will look more like you than Jax."

"What?"

"You keep holding your stomach. Are you –"

Cheyenne sighs. "Yeah. No one knows. With everything going on with Gemma. I want things to be sure with her."

"Well congratulations."

"Do you even mean that?" Cheyenne questions.

"Yes, I do. I hope one day…I can meet them. Abel, Isla, and the new baby."

Cheyenne looks at her mom. She's sober and clearly doing well for herself. There really isn't a reason to deny her access. "Maybe."

…

It's around 1'oclock when Cheyenne and Cheryl make it back to Nate's house. She and her mom were able to make a little small talk. Nothing too heavy and mostly from Cheyenne's time in school and mostly describing the woman Lip is raising Isla into.

Pulling up into the driveway, she spots Jax's bike alongside Clay's and Tig's. She even spots Jax standing on the doorsteps smoking a cigarette.

Cheyenne steps out of her mom's car. Jax meets her halfway and he encases her in a tight hug. Cheyenne can't help but revel in the feel of his arms and the smell of leather and nicotine. Jax places a kiss on her head and as they pull back, his hands cup her face.

"You okay?" He asks her as his eyes trail to her mom.

"I'm fine."

He nods his head before he pulls back and greets her mom.

"Cheryl it's been awhile."

Cheryl gives him a closed lip smile. "Yes, it has." Her mom's eyes trail over his kutte and become caught on the Vice President patch. "You're a man and father now. I still remember when I used to chase you around in diapers."

Jax huffs, but doesn't add anything.

Cheryl's phone begins to go off. "Sorry." She says as she walks away to answer it.

"How come you didn't say anything about your mom?" Jax asks when she is out of ear shot.

Cheyenne shrugs her shoulders. "Didn't seem important."

"She's your mom."

"Do you really want to talk about my mother?" She asks him sharply.

Jax sighs. "No, I guess not."

Jax grabs her hand and pulls her to sit down next to him on the steps. "Gotta tell you what's going on."

Cheyenne folds her arms across her chest and nods her head. "Okay."

"They're pulling our bail on the church assault. Two days, we're all supposed to go back inside."

Cheyenne looks at Jax confused. "Supposed to?"

Jax nods his head, but then he hands over a folded piece of printer paper. She looks at him thoughtfully, but as she opens it, she feels her heart leap to her throat. "Oh, my God." Cheyenne takes in the grainy photograph of Abel bundled up in Cameron's arms. "Where is he?"

"Vancouver somewhere." Jax tells her.

A smile forms on her lips and she can't help but hug Jax tightly. His arms return the hold. His arm moves to her shoulder as she eyes the photo. With half the club up here it only means one thing.

"You're heading up there?" Cheyenne deducts.

"Yeah. We hired a guy to help track him down. Gonna take Gemma, head out after Nate's taken care of."

"Did you tell Gemma about Abel?"

"Not yet."

Cheyenne bristles at the thought of them dragging out the inevitable.

"I wanna come with you." Cheyenne says to Jax, which has him looking at her confused. "To Canada."

Jax instantly removes his arm from her shoulder, and it burns her more than she likes, as he shakes his head. "No."

"Why not?" She retorts. "You're gonna need my help."

"What I need is for you to go back to Charming. Back to work." Jax bites back bitterly. "Go back to Charming."

Cheyenne stands up and moves away from Jax. "He's my son. You just expect me to be twiddling my thumbs."

"Do you see how deep I'm buried here?" Jax yells, which causes her to jump from the loud bass in his voice. "You don't want this."

"Don't tell me what I want." Cheyenne fires back.

Jax moves to stand too. Blue and grey eyes clashing angrily, Jax points at her, "You're not coming up north."

"Yes, I am."

She watches as Jax's nostrils flare and his eyes narrow. "As my old lady, start acting like one. Do what you're told!"

In an instant any type of submissive and calm nature Cheyenne was trying to project vanishes. "Act like an old lady. I just helped your mother kill someone. That old lady enough for you!"

The blood drains from Jax's face. "What are you talking about?"

"The caretaker. She attacked your mother."

"What the hell did you do?"

Cheyenne wants to look away from Jax, but she refuses to cower. "I had no choice, it was self-defense. Tig helped us get rid of the body."

Jax thinks he might go berserk. "Are you out of your fucking mind!" He roars. "Are you even thinking about the fucking baby in your belly?"

Cheyenne recoils from Jax. Shock is evident in her posture and her hands immediately go and cover her belly. That action right there confirms what he already knows. "Wha – How?"

"Doesn't fucking matter. Pack your shit and head back to Charming." He orders her.

Cheyenne isn't able to respond as the front door bursts open and Gemma comes out looking concerned between the two. Cheyenne hopes Gemma didn't hear the baby news.

"What's going on?" She asks looking between the two of them.

"What happened?" Jax asks.

Gemma looks at Cheyenne, on the verge of tears, and then back at Jax, face red from anger. "Uh…I was hoping you could tell me?"

Clay and Tig proceed to come out the front door. "Gotta go."

"I'm dealing with something." Jax mutters as he glares at Cheyenne.

"Yeah, so are Bobby and Piney." Clay says, but he looks at Jax and then towards Cheyenne. "What's going on?"

"Apparently, our lovely ladies whacked the caretaker. And this idiot helped them." Jax snarls as he points at Tig.

"What?" Clay asks exasperated.

"Actually, I just made a phone call." Tig says in defense.

"Jesus Christ. This later. Let's go." Clay orders as they march to their bikes.

"What happened to, "Oh, we can't tell Jax about anything"? You two are killing me." TIg mutters before he follows his president and VP.

Cheyenne watches as Jax's Reaper disappears from her view and she wishes she had something to just throw at him. She can feel Gemma's eyes on her and Cheyenne isn't able to meet her eyes. God, she could throttle Jax and right now even spill the beans to Gemma about what happened to Abel.

"So, can someone fill me in on what happened?" Gemma says eventually.

"I wanna go with you to Vancouver." Cheyenne tells her.

"No." Gemma says immediately. "That's a bad idea."

"I thought you, more than anyone, would understand." Cheyenne counters.

"We're gonna need you in Charming. If Jax goes away for that church assault and I'm God knows where someone has to take care of Abel." Gemma explains. "He'll need his amazing mother."

Cheyenne can't help the tears that follow.