(Noah)

I consider calling Elle once my flight lands, but I want to surprise her. She sent messages this morning saying she was headed to her house to pack, so I decide to take a chance on her still being there. Brad's playing basketball in the driveway when I arrive and he lets me in, telling me Elle's in her room. I call her name as I walk up the stairs, not wanting to startle her, but the silence greeting me in return is explained when I find her asleep on her bed, boxes everywhere around. Ah yes, I should have realized it would be nap o'clock for her.

I could use some sleep myself after being up late at the reception, so I do my best not to wake Elle as I stretch out alongside her. From up close I realize that she's been crying, and I hope it wasn't because of how weird I let things get this week. The copy of The Blue Castle I'd sent her way back when is near her pillow, and I'm glad to finally see it; I'd scanned the bookshelves at her UCLA apartment but never found a way to ask about it. Even if she never did call, at least I told her, at least she knew.

I wake up to Elle saying my name in a confused voice.

"Noah? What are you doing here? Weren't you going to visit Nick after the wedding?"

"I missed you." I missed her, I was sick of witnessing someone else's happiness when I could be here with her instead, and I wanted to tell her I'd wait as long as she needed.

Elle's eyes light up and she starts to laugh. She looks like she's about to say something, but then she dives at me instead, raising herself on one elbow and pushing me to my back before kissing me with urgency, somehow still laughing as she does it. She's got her hair twisted into a messy bun and she's wearing an ancient Country Day gym shirt that she must have unearthed while packing, and for a second I'm propelled six years into the past. Elle's room was always my favorite place to hide away with her, even after it was no longer the relationship we needed to hide, just my presence in her room after midnight.

I'm not sure how far Elle is intending to take this, or if she even remembers we're at her house with her bedroom door open, but based on how quickly her fingers are working at the buttons of my shirt I'm going to guess quite far and not at all. As appealing as the first is, that second situation needs to be addressed. I capture Elle's hands and start to lift her off of me so I can sit up, and she does not look pleased by the interruption.

"The door, Elle. Brad is home. And who knows if your dad got back while we were asleep."

"Ugh, fine." She watches from the bed as I go close the door, leaning back on her elbows with a smirk playing at her lips. "So you were so eager to see me you ditched your friends?"

"I did, yes. Although for more reasons than what you seem to have in mind."

"Are you telling me this isn't reason enough?" Whatever it was she'd been crying about before her nap, her mood is sparkling now.

"I'd never say that. I'm saying I also had other reasons."

"Oh yeah? Like?"

Elle's fingers are back at work releasing my shirt buttons and she doesn't sound particularly interested in hearing my other reasons. And as much as I hate to pause this, I actually would like to tell her what I've been thinking about all weekend. I capture Elle's hands again and she frowns at me in frustration.

"Now what?"

"If you can keep your hands to yourself for one minute, I'll tell you those other reasons I came home early. I missed you, Elle. Not just while I was away, but this whole week. Since Sunday. Things have been so weird since then, and that's my fault. I've been thinking about everything you said, and I get it. People have been breathing down our necks for months and for what? We know what we want. We know how we feel. But we don't need to hurry this. And I'm sorry if it's taken me this whole week to say that. But that's why I was in a rush to get home, to tell you that I get it. We don't need to discuss this now. Hell, we probably don't need to discuss it ever, because we already know. But decisions and formalities and all that, that all can wait."

Elle's got a strange glint in her eye, and she sits up to look at me.

"You rushed home to tell me there's no rush?"

"Okay, when you phrase it like that —" I start to reply, but Elle cuts me off.

"But your big epiphany, the reason you came home early, was to agree we should wait?" She's still got that strange smile.

"I don't know that I agree we should, but I'm saying I get it. And that I'm fine with waiting. You're right, it's not the time to talk about this."

Elle's been biting at her lip throughout my explanations, her expression increasingly enigmatic, and suddenly that tension releases and she collapses into giggles, letting herself fall back against the pillows. Which... don't get me wrong, Elle's laughter is usually the best possible indication that things are right between us, but I'm not sure hysterical giggling was the reaction I was going for right now.

It's a long minute before Elle gets her laughter under control and sits back up, and hopefully this is the part when she explains what exactly is so hilarious about all of this.

"No." Elle finally says, grinning at me.

"No?" Also not the reaction I was going for. Unless what she means is...

"You're saying you'll wait. That we don't need to rush. That we don't need to talk about this now. That it's not the right time. And I'm saying no. To all of that." Her smile stretches broadly, but I can hear her voice catch.

"Elle?" I will my heart to return to a normal rate. There's no way she's actually saying what it sounds like she's saying, as much as I wish she were.

"You're trying to unpropose. Or depropose? I'm not sure there's a word for it. But whatever it is, I don't want it. So I am saying no. I am turning down your unproposal."

She is. She is in fact saying exactly what I hoped she might be saying. But she's not getting away with being cryptic. No, if she wants me to propose again—or, rather, to actually propose this time—she's going to need to say so, because I'm done guessing at what she's thinking and I'm not letting her off the hook this easily.

"And what exactly does that mean?" I try to keep my voice steady.

"That I was wrong. That we don't need to wait. That we can decide this now without it being about the baby. Because we already decided this, ages ago."

Her tone has turned more serious, her earlier giddiness shifting to a fierce sincerity, and I wait for her to continue, my heart and mind racing.

"I mean, not that we specifically decided this already. But the reasons for it, they've been accumulating forever. In little bits and pieces along the way. I've been making myself crazy since January with how we could ever make this decision now and not have it be about the baby, but then I spent today surrounded by all these reminders of every part of my life, and I realized how stupid I was being. How short-sighted. Because there's no way it can just be about the baby when it's been there all along. So... "

Elle's voice falters, and she pauses a second as if to choose her next words, fussing at her bracelet before reaching for my hands. "So... I'm glad you understand now why this was hard for me, but I don't need any more of your patience. I don't need more time. I've spent all day surrounded by our whole story and I've never been more sure of what the next chapter should be, what I want it to be."

She pauses again, her eyes flicking down to our joined hands, and I wonder if there's more she wants to say. I'm desperately curious what changed her mind, but that question can wait until later. There's a more important question to address first.

"So... go ahead. Ask me." Elle finally says, half-laughing, her eyes bright as they shift back to mine.

I stare at her a long second, then shake my head lightly, smiling. "Nope."

"No?" Elle echoes with a surprised chuckle, and I can tell she knows I'm teasing, but doesn't quite believe it.

"The way I see it, this is your job now. I just spent a very long week convincing myself that we don't need to do this yet. You're the one who's had the sudden change of heart. So I think you'rethe one with a question to ask."

I'm grinning at her, but I honestly do need her to do this. I need to be certain it's what she wants and that the time is right for her. She's told me she could never say no if I asked, so now I need her to do the asking. Or at least, to tell me outright that she wants to. Not just that she doesn't object to my asking, but that she wants us to be engaged. So I can be sure she's sure. Well, that, and because damn do I enjoy teasing her.

"Seriously?" Elle stares at me, fighting back a smile.

I nod my head slowly and seriously.

"I thought you had a whole plan for doing this. This is your chance." Elle protests.

"Oh no, now this is your chance."

Elle's expression is incredulous, but I just keep grinning back at her, holding her stare. Finally she shakes her head and fixes me with a determined look.

"Fine. But you never, ever, get to complain that I stole your thunder. And I don't have a ring for you. Or any kind of good speech prepared. But if you want me to do this, fine."

I can't not laugh at her exasperation. "I always imagined this moment would be... less passive-aggressive. But go on."

Elle shoves me back against the pillows, her eyes flashing. "Oh my god, if you're going to be this unbearably smug about all of this, I'm going to reconsider."

"No, please don't. I'll be quiet now. Cross my heart."

"You'd better," Elle huffs, sitting back again. "You know, this is your fault for coming home early. I thought I had all evening and tomorrow morning to come up with how to tell you this. Okay. So. Where to start. I love you seems like a good place, even if that's not where we started. I'm not actually sure where we started, or how, or when, but I know it took us a while to figure out. But we did."

I promised I'd be quiet, but not that I wouldn't interrupt, and it's impossible not to kiss her when she looks at me like that. Not too long, though, because I want to hear the rest of this. Elle smiles indulgently at me before resuming, and she's looking more confident with every word.

"I've been in love with you a long time, probably longer than I've realized it. Definitely longer than I've admitted it. But that wasn't the hard part. The hard part was trusting myself that this was the real thing. I mean, we were so young when this started. I didn't want this to hold us back. To make us miss out on who we were supposed to grow into. So I didn't want you to drop out for me, just like you worried I was passing up Stanford for the wrong reasons. But I don't actually want to talk about any of that again. The point is, I never trusted myself enough to put us first. Except the breakups didn't actually free us up to go be ourselves, they just made us miserable. It took me a while to get it all in perspective, but I finally did. I was so afraid we would hold each other back, I missed that we were holding each other together. I mean, not that we can't hack it on our own. We can, we have. It's just... we're better when we're together. And that's okay. It's okay to need each other."

Elle pauses again. I don't think I'm capable of coherent speech right now, so instead I just wait for her to go on. I can see her struggling for the right words.

"I guess what I'm saying is that the part we keep screwing up is being brave enough to take the leap. And that's been on me, most of the time. And there's still a lot I'm terrified about right now, all kinds of changes and decisions looming that I have no idea how I'm going to navigate, but—not you. You, I'm sure about, and I have been for a long time, even if I couldn't deal with admitting it. Even if both of us have tried hard to deny it at times. And when I think of you being by my side for all the upheaval coming, suddenly it's not so scary any more. It's kind of thrilling, actually. So... that's why."

This time she's the one to pull me in for a kiss, and as I stare dazedly at her afterward I realize she's looking at me expectantly, awaiting an answer.

"I was kind of hoping you'd agree," she finally says, smiling nervously.

"Shell, you do realize you haven't actually asked me any questions yet, right?" I need her to say it.

Elle huffs in frustration. "I just told you. In a very long speech that you made me come up with on the spot. Five minutes after I woke up from a nap."

I stare back at her without comment, mirroring her raised eyebrows, and finally I give in and laugh. "You have to actually ask, Shelly."

"Really? This is how you're playing this?"

"I'm just saying, right now seems like a time when clarity counts. I'm not taking any guesses. You've got to actually ask."

"Do you require a neon billboard, or would an engraved invitation do? Marry me."

She looks adorably agitated, and there is no possible proposal I could have come up with that I would be enjoying more than this. And cut me some slack, I've been waiting for this moment a long time; I'm going to savor it.

"See, that's still not a question, it's more like an order. Although I do love it when you're bossy."

"Noah Flynn, do you want to marry me or not?"

At least it's a question this time.

"Well, when you ask so nicely... yes. Definitely —"

I was going to repeat it, but Elle seems to have decided she's done letting me talk. I don't blame her, I was being pretty obnoxious. And I definitely don't object to how she's going about silencing me. She rises, settling herself astride my lap and kissing me not with the urgency of when she'd first awoken to find me here, but instead a relaxed deliberateness, an unrushed delight. The awkward distance forced by her current shape reminds me with a jolt of why this decision had once seemed so complicated, and I let my hands sweep down her back and around to the hard curve of her belly. I'm not sure seeing Elle pregnant will ever be anything but surreal, in the best possible way.

Finally Elle pulls back. This time she's the one with a mischievous smirk.

"So, do I ever get to see that ring, even if I'm the one who asked?"

"Yes... on one condition." I tell her.

"There are conditions? You already agreed. It's too late to add conditions."

"Relax, Shelly. The condition is that you let me take you out for at least some of what I had planned for last Sunday."

Her mock fury evaporates and she grins. "I'd like that."

"Should we head home, then? Unless of course this was all part of your master plan for today and you brought the ring with you."

"Yeah, I totally grabbed the ring this morning to come over here and pack. With you being gone until tomorrow."

"When have I ever been patient enough to wait for my originally-scheduled flight?"

Elle rolls her eyes. "Point taken. But the ring is right where you left it."

"So? Home?" I start to sit up but Elle pulls me back.

"Mmmmm... five more minutes?"

We lose track of time long before those five minutes are up.