Everyone who had been in the Ohm dorm building had been set up with pillows, blankets, and sleeping bags in the ballroom so that the building's damage could be assessed and repaired. Unfortunately, the staff that lived on the fourth floor of Ohm was also forced to sleep in the ballroom. The eight unfortunates settled on one side of the room, and the students did the same on the other side, dividing into teams and trying to get as far away from the teachers as possible.

"This won't be awkward," Blake muttered, laying out her sleeping bag. Team RWBY had somehow ended up close to the staffs' side.

"It can't be too bad." Ruby glanced over at the teachers. Peter Port, clad in just his underwear, walked past the team toward the door. The scythe-wielder looked away quickly. "I'll never be able to look at Professor Port again."

Yang fell over on her sleeping bag, laughing hysterically. "Dear Grimm! What are you going to do if Ozpin sleeps like that?"

"Sleeps like what?"

All four of RWBY's members turned. A blond woman with a waist-long braid in a tank top and pajama pants sat across from them on a sleeping bag. The third-years stared at her for a full minute before it clicked.

"P-Professor Goodwitch!" Weiss squeaked.

"If Ozpin sleeps like what?" Glynda repeated.

"…Like Professor Port does," Ruby muttered, face bright red.

The blonde snorted, covering her face with her hands. "Oh, Etro." Her shoulders shook with silent laughter. Taking a deep breath, she put her hands down and shook her head, a smile still twitching on her face. "Don't worry. Only Port goes does that."

"Does he ever do anything even mildly embarrassing? Like, he tried to ride a horse, and it went out of control, or something?"

"Well, there was this time with this chocobo…"

After knowing her for four thousand and forty-two years (give or take), Ozpin could tell almost exactly what Glynda was saying just based off her body language.

He could already feel the red creeping up his face.

"Are you serious?!" Yang laughed, nearly falling over. "She stole his underwear."

Professor Goodwitch nodded, a smile tugging on her lips. "To this day, he still has no idea where they went. The assistant eventually toned it down, but –"

"Which assistant was this?" he interrupted, face bright red as he dropped down onto his sleeping bag. His cane and a small, plastic box were dropped onto the ground next to him. His silver hair fell into his eyes.

"Alyssa. You won't remember her." A giggle escaped the artificial blonde. "You should show them the different voices you can do."

Ozpin sighed. "Which kind of voice?"

"Jack Sparrow!" Ruby immediately squealed.

"You forgot the 'Captain', love." The silver-haired man's voice had become identical to Johnny Daube's, becoming a slightly slurred drawl.

"Impressive." Blake's eyebrows rose.

"Ooh." Yang grinned. "Cool trick! Could you do something like the Doctor?"

He paused. "Doctor who?" His voice rose slightly in pitch, and his Atlesian accent thickened.

The blond girl giggled and fell over onto her sleeping bag.

"What?" A smile tugged on the corners of his lips. "Now, first things first. Am I ginger?"

Yang's laughter crescendo-ed. "N-no," she managed to choke out, "you're just…You're just sort of brown."

"Aw, I wanted to be ginger! I've never been ginger!" Ozpin pointed at Glynda. "And you, Rose Tyler! Fat lot of good you were! You gave up on me!"

A scowl marred Professor Goodwitch's face.

"Oh, that's rude. Is that the sort of man I am now? Am I rude? Rude and not ginger."

"Yes, you're rude." She poked him in the side, making him squirm. "And here I thought you were –"

"Gonna try somethin' without my accent?"

"You as a teenager."

He grimaced and allowed his voice to return to normal. "That would be…unsettling."

"So go full out." Glynda shrugged, turning her back to the other five. She fiddled with a small case, then settled into her sleeping bag, eyes closed.

Ozpin rolled her eyes, his form shrinking considerably. He leaned over to the blond woman and murmured into her ear.

She grew steadily redder in the face. "Shut up before I punch you."

He straightened with a grin. "Embarrassed, are you? Reason to be, there is not." Despite his words, the silver-haired boy let out a strange, mischievous laugh that was like nothing RWBY had ever heard.

"Sometimes I really don't like you."

"You started it." Ozpin's voice, though no longer strange, was about half an octave higher and colored with amusement. His eyes, still barely visible under his bangs, flicked over to the students. "Take pictures if you must. This is the last time you'll ever see your headmaster like this."

Yang pulled out her scroll and snapped a few pictures.

"Yang!"

"What? He said we could."

Glynda groaned and pulled her sleeping bag over her head. "Please shut up. I'm trying to sleep."

Ozpin suppressed a smile. "Old woman."

"Shorty," she shot back.

"Killjoy."

"Nerd."

"Dropout."

"Shota."

"Multi-personality disorder."

"Pedophile."

"The original pedophile."

"Seven years isn't – okay, yeah, it was. Jailbait."

"Control freak."

"I heard that I remind you of your mother."

"Sometimes –"

"Mama's boy." She cracked an eye open to look at him. "We should stop now, or we'll be doing this all night. Someone has to make sure you get up in the morning."

"Killjoy."

"You already said that."

"…I'm so confused," Ruby muttered to her team. "What just happened?"

A/N: I can do angst or crack. There is no in-between.

I'm really not a fan of this chapter. There were too many (silly) ideas going into it and you can tell it was written when I was much younger. Still, it exists, it's getting posted.

Yes, Johnny Daube is a poorly camouflaged Johnny Depp. Yes, there is now Star Wars in RWBY as well as Doctor Who. Given that there is also a team TRDS mentioned...somewhere in this fic, you'll have to make of that as you will.