I should probably warn everyone that I've fallen a bit behind on writing this story and my family is just now coming for Christmas visits, so updates will be really slow this week. Not to worry, I will be picking back up in the new year and, hopefully, the fact this chapter is a bit longer will make up for it. See you all in 2020. :)

Chapter 49: Home Away From Home

Home is not just where we come from
Home is a people, a place, a feeling
It changes as we change
But it always waits for us

Terra had known something was bothering Tali. She couldn't see her quarian friend's expression behind the mask, but even quarians radiated their feelings to those around them who were sympathetic enough to notice, especially distress. She finally realized she had to intervene when she checked in on Mordin's progress with the upgrades and found out that Tali had been uncharacteristically quiet and reserved while handing over her specs for the shield improvements. So she headed straight down to the engineering deck. Seeing Tali at the console slow and barely focused was the last straw.

"Tali, are you OK?" Terra asked.

Tali jumped. "Shepard! Oh. I didn't hear you come in." Distracted, too? This wasn't like her at all.

Terra quickly took her friend's side. "Tali, talk to me. What's going on?"

Tali seemed to realize there was no point in sidestepping the question and sighed. "I received word from the fleet. The Admiralty Board has accused me of treason. …I'm scared, Shepard."

Terra was so stunned to hear this that it took her a moment to collate a reply. "That…that's insane! No one who knows you could ever believe you would betray your people, Tali!"

Tali shrugged. "I don't know. They don't lay these kind of charges unless the evidence seems absolute. But thanks. I appreciate your faith in me."

Terra couldn't believe this. Tali was more devoted to the Migrant Fleet than Terra was to Palaven, which was really saying something. How could there be evidence against her over something this severe? …and what did that mean for her? "What happens when a quarian's accused of treason?"

"There's a hearing with members of the Admiralty Board presiding. It's being held on my birth-ship, the Rayya."

"Why didn't you say something earlier? We're going with you!"

"I know, but—wait, what?"

"Give us the fleet's coordinates. We'll go right now."

"I…I was going to book passage on another ship. I thought—"

Terra laid a supportive hand on Tali's shoulder. "I'm not just your commander, Tali. I'm your friend. That means I'm here for you when you need me. Especially now."

Terra didn't need to see behind Tali's mask to know a smile when she saw one. "Thank you, Shepard."

Terra immediately forwarded the fleet's coordinates to Joker and told him to move as fast as the ship could carry them. Garrus was already quick to gear up, but when he heard Tali was in trouble, he moved just a bit faster, something Terra agreed with. Tali still seemed nervous and afraid, but with Terra and Garrus behind her promising to take care of this, she also seemed a lot more hopeful. All three of them headed up to the cockpit once they were prepared and waited through the last relay jump.

Terra had never actually seen the Migrant Fleet before. It was quite a sight to behold. The largest fleet in the galaxy floating peacefully by empty stars in perfect formation, all wonderfully crafted in different ways, some older than others, some even built by other races and repurposed. The quarians were living on those ships, wandering the galaxy. If they weren't also trapped in that existence, Terra would envy them.

"This is Tali'Zorah vas Neema nar Rayya," Tali spoke into the COMM once Joker established contact, "requesting permission to dock with the Rayya."

"Our sensors have your ship flagged as Cerberus," the response came, "Verify."

Terra fought the urge to growl in response. She'd have to correct that flag while they were there.

Tali seemed almost wistful as she looked out the viewport at her birth-ship and spoke to it through the COMM: "'After time adrift among open stars, along tides of light and through shoals of dust, I will return to where I began.'"

Terra found herself smiling softly as the quarians accepted their docking request and prepared to take them aboard. The quarians were a rather poetic people, truly a culture after her own heart. She could tell she would've loved their art and writings if only she'd had a chance to see it. Yet another reason to mourn the loss of Rannoch.

The captain of the Rayya, Kar'Danna, met them at the airlock. "Captain Shepard, it's a pleasure. Although I wish we were meeting under better circumstances."

Terra wished that, too. "Tali's done a lot for me. I'm hoping to return the favor."

"Good. As captain of the vessel she serves on, your voice carries weight." He turned to Tali. "I'm supposed to remain impartial, but I'm here if you need to talk. They're charging you with bringing active geth aboard the fleet as part of some secret project!"

Tali reacted now. "What?! That's insane! I never sent active geth back, only parts and pieces!"

Terra turned to give her a stunned look through her helmet. "You sent geth material back to the Migrant Fleet?!"

"Yes, my father asked me to. …if I sent back something that was only powered down and not permanently deactivated…no. No, I was careful. I checked everything."

Terra could believe it. Tali was the most skilled engineer she'd ever met. She would never mishandle her equipment, especially if it came from a geth. "So what happens now?"

"Technically," Kar'Danna answered, "I'm supposed to place Tali'Zorah under arrest pending the hearing. So, Tali…you're confined to this ship until the trial is over."

Tali breathed easier when she heard that. "Thank you, captain."

"The hearing is being held in the garden plaza. Good luck."

Tali led Terra around a corner toward the plaza in question. This was the ship she had grown up in, the walls she had walked for 20 years of her life. She hid it well, but it was clear simply from how easily she still navigated the place that she had missed it.

When they approached the plaza, they found an older quarian woman waiting there. "Tali'Zorah vas Normandy. I'm glad you've arrived safely. I could delay them only so long."

Tali smiled and hugged the older woman. "Auntie Raan!" After this brief greeting (which Terra couldn't help but notice the other quarian was less enthusiastic about), Tali turned to Terra and Garrus. "This is Admiral Shala'Raan vas Tonbay, a friend of my father." She froze when she realized… "Wait. Raan, you…you called me vas Normandy."

Raan nodded somberly. "I did. The admirals moved to have you tried under that name, given your departure from the Neema."

Terra wasn't sure how to take that. "I'm guessing being associated with a human ship is a bad sign?"

Tali shook her head. "They've stripped me of my ship name. That's as good as declaring me exiled already!"

"It's not over, Tali," Raan assured her, "You still have friends here, people who remember you as Tali'Zorah vas Neema, whatever we must call you legally."

Terra wasn't sure how to take that either. Whatever was happening, the odds weren't looking to be in Tali's favor. "We should move fast. Does Tali have a defense councilor, someone who speaks for her side?"

Raan nodded. "Indeed she does…Captain Shepard. An accused is always represented by his or her ship's captain."

…oh no.

Tali turned to Terra hesitantly. "So…er…you would actually speak in my defense."

Terra could handle pressure, but this was asking a lot. One of her best friends was putting her fate in her hands. In combat situations, she could handle that. But this? Though, as usual, one look to Garrus put her worries to rest. She couldn't interpret as much of his expression when he had his helmet on, but she only needed to see him nodding to know he was telling her she could do this. He had faith in her. She had, just the other day, successfully arbitrated a "catfight" between Jack and Miranda, of all people, so she definitely had the persuasive skills for it. When she turned back to Tali, she saw that her quarian friend was clearly still nervous but also willing to comply with this complication. That proved just as effective as Garrus' faith in bolstering her resolve. "I…I'm honored. I'll do my best."

"Our rules are simple," Raan informed her, "We have no tricks to worry about. Present the truth as best you can. That will have to be enough." With that said, she took her place presiding over the Admiralty Board's panel, letting Tali and Terra follow her into the plaza and take their place at the stand while Garrus stood at the back and watched the crowd. "This meeting of the Conclave is called to order. Blessed are the ancestors that kept us alive, sustained us, and enabled us to reach this season. Keelah se'lai." The crowd echoed the Khelish call. "We are here so that Tali'Zorah vas Normandy may defend herself against the charge of treason."

"Objection!" one of the admirals spoke up, "A human has no business being involved in such sensitive military matters!"

"Then you should not have declared Tali crew of the Normandy, Admiral Koris. By right as her captain, Shepard must stay."

Koris shook his head. "Objection withdrawn."

Raan turned to Terra. "Captain Shepard, your crewman, Tali'Zorah, stands accused of treason. Will you speak for her?"

This much Terra was certain of, taking the stand in a heartbeat. "I will. But in her heart, she remains Tali'Zorah vas Neema, a proud member of the Migrant Fleet. It's a shame her captain has been forbidden to stand with her."

Koris instantly started stumbling to compile an argument. "No one has been forbidden from anything—"

"Lie to them in you must, Zaal'Koris," the admiral standing beside him, Han'Gerrel, quickly stepped in, "but don't lie to me and expect me to stay silent. The human is right!"

"Admirals!" Raan quickly cut back in, "Please! Shepard's willingness to stand for Tali is appreciated. How does the accused plead?"

"Tali would never endanger the fleet," Terra instantly asserted, "She pleads not guilty."

Tali nodded, stepping up beside Terra. "I sent back pieces of geth subjects. My father ordered me to do so. But I would never send active materials. Everything I sent was disabled and harmless."

"Then explain," Koris snapped, "how geth seized the lab-ship where your father was working."

As the crowd descended into whispers, Tali descended into shock. "What…what are you talking about? What happened?!"

"As far as we can tell, Tali," Gerrel answered, "the geth have killed everyone on the Alarei…your father included."

"What?! Oh, Keelah…"

Terra's heart broke at the sound of Tali's failing. She wanted to comfort her friend, to scream at the admirals for having the gall to spring that on her in the middle of a trial, but it was in Tali's best interest for her to keep up her commander side for just a minute longer. "I appreciate the need for this trial, admirals, but the safety of the Migrant Fleet has to come first."

Tali clearly agreed with that statement. "Shepard, we have to retake the Alarei."

"The best course of action would be to simply destroy the ship," Koris said, "But if you're looking for an honorable death instead of exile—"

"I'm looking for my father, you bosh'tet!"

Terra struggled not to laugh at that one.

"You intend to retake the Alarei?" Raan asked, "This is a dangerous notion."

"Yes," Terra nodded, "It's for the good of the flotilla…and Tali deserves to find her father."

"We'll have a shuttle prepared to take you across, then," Gerrel said, "And if you are killed on this noble venture, Tali, we'll see to it your name is cleared of all charges."

"We'll discuss that later," Koris sneered.

"Very well," Raan said, "Tali'Zorah, you are free to go. This trial will continue upon your return…or upon determination that you have been killed in action."

Terra quickly pulled Tali aside. "Are you OK?"

"No," Tali admitted quietly, "But…but they don't have proof my father is gone. Maybe…I don't know. We won't know until we get there."

Garrus met up with them at the end of the plaza. "Don't worry, Tali. We're with you."

Tali sighed. "And there's no other two people I rather have with me. Let's go."

The shuttle ride was brief, but it was long enough for Terra to attempt to console Tali. This whole situation was unfair to her, and Terra was going to do everything in her power to make sure it didn't stay that way. Garrus made a few attempts of his own at cheering her up before finally outright asking what was going on with the admirals. Tali didn't know everything about the politics behind the scenes, but she enough to let them know that this matter was clearly more touchy than most because of the geth involvement—Han'Gerrel and Rael'Zorah, Tali's father, had been pushing hard for some time for the fleet to prepare to take back Rannoch while Koris had been trying to play pacifist and make peace with the geth. Terra hadn't been expecting any quarian would have an opinion like that, but knowing one of the admirals thought so was astonishing. She had never known the geth to be reasonable, but she had also never known anyone to try to reason with them, and if there was a chance… Maybe it was asking for too much, but EDI had proven trustworthy so far and she was a synthetic, so there was no reason to discount the possibility just yet. If the quarians didn't at least try…well, the alternative wouldn't exactly be pretty. For either side.

The very first room they walked in on the Alarei was full of geth. Not exactly a good sign in terms of finding survivors, but Terra wasn't giving up hope on that count until they had cleared the whole ship. Tali hadn't been on this ship, at least not near as much as the Rayya, but she knew quarian design enough to help them navigate, leading them through labs, bunks, and kitchens and once again proving invaluable in terms of handling geth offensives. The tight quarters played against them in some cases, yet these geth fell just the same as all the others they'd faced. It wasn't long before they reached a lab with a console they could access.

"Anything on there that could clear your name?" Terra asked as Tali scrolled through it.

Tali sighed. "Doubtful. This is mostly results data—effects of different disruptive hacking techniques on geth platforms. It doesn't say so…but they may have been activating the geth deliberately. If they were, then Father was doing something terrible." She looked at the console almost accusatorially. "What was all this, Father? You promised to build me a house on the home-world. Was this going to bring us back home?!"

Terra had to say something now. "Tali, I understand wanting your home-world back, but any war you fight with the geth is not going to end well."

"I know. But you don't understand what it's like. When you lost your world, you got Palaven. When we lost our world, we got a fleet that's one hull breech away from extinction!"

"It's still a home, Tali. I don't want to see you lose it for fighting a war you could've avoided."

"Could we have avoided it? This is no life worth abandoning a fight for, forced to wear these suits in our homes or else we might die. A single kiss could put me in the hospital! Every time you touch a flower with bare fingers, inhale its fragrance without air filters, you doing something I can't!"

Terra had always thought it must be hard on Tali to be so confined. She hadn't realized just how hard it was, just how much her friend was missing. She wanted to give Tali that much, but how could she? "Haven't you at least considered colonizing somewhere else?"

"Of course we have. But we'd have enough difficulty acclimating to our native environment. Adjusting for exposure to a foreign colony would be even harder. It's the difference between 60 years and 600. For anyone alive now to watch a sunset without a mask, we have to retake Rannoch."

Terra couldn't argue this any further. She couldn't imagine her beloved horizons feeling so detached. She was living proof that it was legitimately possible to adapt to a foreign atmosphere, but she hadn't been living off of an artificial one her whole life. If it was truly that difficult for them, there was nothing they could do. Nothing except risk going home. She was going to have to be there when they did.

Tali finally sighed, seeing as Terra did that there was no point in continuing the conversation. "At the very least, we can take back one ship. Come on."

So they headed into the next room, overlooking a stairwell that led into a hall more geth immediately started pouring out of. This position was perfect for Terra and Garrus to snipe them down while Tali disabled a few and put her combat drone to use (which she had adorably named Chatika vas Paus, much to Terra's amusement). Once the way was clear, Terra led them to the hallway…to find a quarian corpse on the floor. Just the sight of it was disheartening.

But it was outright heartbreaking when Tali recognized it. "Father!" She quickly rushed over, kneeling down beside the body to check the suit. "No…no, no, you always had a plan. Masked life-signs or an onboard medical stasis program maybe. You…you wouldn't…you wouldn't just die like this…"

Terra had been in this position. She had responded the same way Tali was now. She had only recovered because she'd had Garrus to pull her out. So she paid it forward and pulled Tali out now. Wordlessly, she knelt down beside Tali and hugged her.

Tali accepted the embrace, still crying as she clung to Terra. "…I…I'm sorry, I—"

"Don't be. I know."

Tali suddenly realized just how true a friend Terra was. Much more than a commander. "…he…he would've known I was coming. Maybe he left a message." She quickly connected her omni-tool to her father's, finding a message as she suspected.

"Tali, if you're listening, then I am dead. The geth have gone active, I don't have much time. You have to disable the terminal at the heart of the ship to stop them from creating new neural links. Make sure Han'Gerrl and Daro'Xen see the data. They must—" Suddenly, the sounds of geth attacking came through and the signal cut out.

Tali shook her head. "Thanks, Dad."

Garrus related to this issue. He could hear the bitterness in her voice. "Tali, the geth cut him off. You don't know how that message was going to end."

Tali sighed. "No. I do." Before Terra or Garrus could respond, she stood up and started leading the way to the lab containing the terminal.

Just their luck, there was a prime in that room. Tali and Garrus were able to strip its shields so Terra could wear down its armor, but it hit too hard for them to keep in position to lay down suppressing fire. Every time they ducked down, they gave it a chance to build its defenses back up. Tali was able to distract it with Chatika, momentarily at least, so Terra could finish cutting through its armor. That left it exposed for Tali to hack into it and slow it down, all the opening Garrus needed to take it out. The few geth left active as backup were easy targets for Terra, and the battle was over.

Tali reluctantly approached the terminal and disabled the geth signal running through it. "There. That should shut down any we missed." She then searched the console for any remaining data. "There's security footage still accessible. It'll tell us what happened here…what Father did."

Terra, merely out of sympathy for Tali, shared her friend's reluctance to open the file, but it had to be done. So she did it.

"…more if Tali'Zorah would send more intact material."

"No! I promised to build my daughter a house on the home-world. I don't want her exposed to any politic blowback. Leave Tali out of this! Assemble new geth with what we have, bypass security protocols, if need be."

Tali reacted in the only way she could, turning away from them.

Garrus tried to step in and reassure her. "He was just trying to keep his promise."

"I never wanted this," Tali shook her head, "Keelah, I never wanted this. This was all his fault. I wanted to believe it wasn't, but when this comes up at the trial…" She turned to Terra. "We can't use this."

"What? Tali, without this evidence, you're looking at exile!"

"You think I don't know that?! You think I want to live knowing I can never see the fleet again? But I can't go into that room and say that my father was the worst war criminal in our people's history! I can't let them posthumously exile him, strip his name from the record of every ship he served on, erase all the good he did for the fleet! I can't do it!"

Terra was used to playing mediator, but this was too much. She couldn't let Tali lose her home so soon after losing her father. She couldn't let one of her best friends go through what she went through on Mindoir. But if the alternative was losing her trust… "We're not going to decide anything here." She took the data file. "Let's head back before they assume we're dead."

As if she'd predicted it, the admirals were recommencing the trial when they returned, Koris asserting that there was no reason to believe Tali or her crewmates survived. Terra was a bit upset they were giving up after only a couple hours, but it just got her to move faster. They came back into the plaza just before Raan could begrudgingly accept a judgment.

"Sorry we're late," Tali prodded.

Terra smirked behind her helmet. She was rubbing off on her. "Tali retook the Alarei. I hope that proves her loyalty."

"Her loyalty was never in question," Koris said, "Only her judgment."

"Perhaps Tali'Zorah can offer something to incur more trust in her judgment," Raan suggested, "Did you find anything on the Alarei to prove her innocence?"

Terra knew this was it. Tali was still pleading with her quietly even as she stepped up to the stand. But as she looked at the admirals, she couldn't help but feel outraged at how they had treated her friend. In fact, the more she thought about it… She nearly smiled maliciously at what she realized she had to do. "Tali shouldn't need evidence. She's proven herself more than enough already."

"I fail to see what relevance—" Koris started.

"Why don't we just admit that you're not even interested in whether she's guilty or not? This trial is all about the geth!"

"The geth have nothing to do with—"

"You want people to sympathize them! Your fellow admirals wanna go to war! None of you care about Tali! Well, newsflash, she's got more experience with the geth than anyone here! You should be listening to her, not PUTTING HER ON TRIAL! Tali saved the Citadel and showed the galaxy the value of the quarian people! I can't think of any stronger evidence than that!"

Garrus smirked from his position at the back of the crowd. That's my girl.

Raan finally asked for a judgment. The admirals took only a moment to consider before reaching a decision. Unanimously. "Tali'Zorah, in light of your recent achievements, we do not find sufficient evidence to convict. You are cleared of all charges. Keelah se'lai."

When it was over, Tali followed Terra off to the side where Garrus was waiting. "I've never had anyone speak like that on my behalf before. Thank you for being there for my father and me, even when…" She turned to her commander with a grateful smile even her mask couldn't hide. "Thank you…Terra."

Terra smiled. No one on the crew but Garrus ever used her first name. It seemed right for Tali to use it, too. "We can still go back and get you exiled, if you want."

Tali laughed. "Thanks, but I'm fine with things like this. It's fun watching you shout."

Terra laughed with her. "Come on, then. Let's go back to our ship, Tali'Zorah vas Normandy." It seemed even more right to call her that. The ship was home with her there.

Tali seemed to agree. "Right behind you…captain."

Tali was different when they went back to the ship. Not at heart so much as in the way she carried herself, the way she viewed the vessel. The fact that Joker turned to ask after how she was doing the second they came back on board seemed to prove that the crew was a family of sorts for her now. She did go back to work in quiet seclusion (aside from a few interactions with Daniels and Donnelly), but this time was out of mourning for her father and adjusting to how her life had seemed to so drastically change in a few hours. That much was still worrying enough for Terra to go down and check on her. She was quick to assure her commander that she was OK—along with an apology for getting her so deeply involved in quarian politics—and that she just needed some time to think things over. She also pointed out that her father would have appreciated that she chose to mourn him by blowing up a bunch of geth. Terra exchanged a laugh with her over this remark and, just like that, they had switched from commander and engineer to friends again. It was so easy for them now.

Terra, against her better judgment, wound up asking if Tali had any other family now that her father was gone. The sad truth was that her mother had fallen to an illness that had swept the fleet when she was a teenager and quarians had strict rules about single births in families so long as their resources were limited.

Tali was an orphan now. "The closest thing I have to more family is…" She trailed off, seeming to rethink her words. "…well, Raan, I guess."

Terra, though, knew enough about reading people to catch what she didn't say. "…Tali…"

Tali, in turn, knew enough about Terra to catch that she'd heard it. "I know. I, uh…should probably get back to tinkering before Mordin asks after my shielding recommendations again. Thanks for checking in on me."

As Terra went up to deck 1, she thought over the events of the day. Tali had lost her mother to illness so long ago and not had the best relationship with her father to lean on or any siblings to confide in. It was a sad reminder of what she and Garrus were trying to avoid, though at least they would have each other and Solana. If they survived this and got to see Solana again. Their whole family situation right now was a mess she didn't know if she could fix.

And Solana was having to face it alone.

…oh…this was a really bad idea.

Terra finally seemed to realize she couldn't let this sit any longer. It wasn't going to be much longer anyway, so she might as well get it over with and warn her. So she headed to her terminal and wrote down what she needed to say before she talk herself out of it. In ten minutes, she'd written it all down and sent it before she could hesitate long enough to think it over or change her mind.

From: Terra Shepard
To: Solana Vakarian
First of all, this isn't a hack. It's really me. I'm alive. I can prove it: we snuck out after dark to see the Karahven Falls at sunrise, we just barely made it home before your mom could realize we were gone, I bandaged the scrape you got on your carapace while we were climbing. I know neither of us ever told anyone about that, not even Garrus. You know it, too. So you know this is real. And I really need to talk to you.
To put it simply, I did, in fact, die two years ago. However, because I am now the champion against the Reapers, Cerberus saw fit to invest in bringing me back. And before you get all worked up about it, yes, I know they're terrorists and, yes, I did promptly kick them to the curb with the intention of hunting them down next. I'm sorry I didn't contact you before now. Don't be mad Garrus didn't tell you either, though, because I asked him not to. I heard you had enough going on out there. …and I may be risking my life again, in which case I didn't wanna get your hopes up if things went south. Speaking of which, he doesn't know I'm sending you this against my better judgment after I told him that, so I'd appreciate it if you could not mention it to him.
Don't worry about me and Garrus. Even I'm not so unlucky as to die so soon after coming back, and I would do so on purpose before letting anything happen to your brother. I'll make sure we both come by to see you when this is over. And I'm sorry about your mom. I'm trying to move some mountains to help her, but there are some things I just can't change. No matter how it goes down, though, I'm here for you, Sol. And I know that goes both ways. We're still sisters.
By the way, I don't know if Garrus mentioned we're mates now. Just thought I'd let you know.

Later, she regretted sending the message, but she still smiled to think of it. Garrus, Tali, and Solana. Three people she could always count on. It was nice to have that. Especially now.