Chapter 54: Lets Try
Mid-April
Owen returned to work full-time in mid-March. The twins were still tiny, but he'd already taken some of his leave prior to the twins' births. Amelia, having been off work for some time, actually resigned as Chief of Neurology and took an official leave of absence. The hospital had limits to what it could offer for leave, and everyone knew that Amelia would be back in some capacity at some point in the future.
Even with Lynne's organizational planning and assistance, the first two weeks after Owen's return to work were full of adjustment and chaos. One night, Owen and Amelia sat at the dining room table trying to figure out what their schedule would look like when Amelia also returned to the hospital. Their discussion began after everyone had eaten dinner and the babies had been fed and put to bed.
The three older kids were playing hide and seek on the main level of the house as their parents analyzed realities. Since Amelia had returned home with the babies, the rules about no electronics during the week were re-introduced and enforced. When Amelia was in the hospital, Owen felt there was only so much he could police and monitor and electronics rules were set aside. Now that they were used to the rules again, the kids found all sorts of ways to entertain themselves.
As the kids went rushing by them or ran to tag someone attempting to get to home base, Amelia and Owen considered calendars and schedules. Their goal was to find a workable solution where both of them could work and also be engaged with the children without expecting Lynne to work over 40 hours a week most weeks. The challenge was complex.
Amelia set her pencil down after jotting out a sample, and shared, "I think I'm close. If you work 12-hour shifts, from 8:30-8:30, six days a week, it would total 60 hours. You could get the older kids up and drop them off at school on the way to the hospital and be home in time for bedtime most nights. Then I could work part-time around 35 hours a week, 4 days a week from 6am – 3pm. I could pick the kids up from school every day of the week and shuttle the kids to lessons and sports after school. We'd arrive home around 6pm. You'd have one day at home and I'd have two days at home. On the days I worked, the babies could go to the hospital daycare and come home with me."
"Wait," Owen paused with a bit of confusion, "What would Lynne's hours be? How does that figure in?"
"It depends on our schedules and the day, but I've got it at about 35 hours. In between helping with the kids, she could do the grocery shopping, pack lunches, and start dinner. After school, she could be here with the kids that didn't have an after-school activity or with the babies except on the days you or I would be home."
Owen ran his hands through his hair and then buried his face in his hands, "I'm lost. I'm sorry. I'm just not tracking."
"Where did I lose you?" Amelia asked.
Flirting and raising his eyebrows seductively, Owen responded, "Baby, you're never losing me."
Amelia rolled her eyes as she gently kicked him under the table, "C'mon. Seriously. We have to figure this out."
Letting out an audible sigh, Owen stated, "I think, for the sake of seeing this more clearly, I need to see this on a grid. Let's start there. And you know that as Chief of Trauma, I pretty much have to be there all night on Fridays and Saturdays."
Erasing some previous notes, Amelia jotted down new details on her complex spreadsheet, explaining, "Let's say you work, what? Sixteen hours, 6pm-10am on Friday night to Saturday morning and 12 hours, 9pm-9am Saturday night to Sunday morning?"
"That's doable," Owen affirmed.
"Mondays are big meeting days, so you'll need to be there during the day, maybe from 8:30am-3:00pm. And same on Tuesdays? What else?" Amelia asked.
"It's not reasonable to expect my attending docs to cover all weekday nights. Maybe I could pull a 24-hour Wednesday – Thursday sometime," Owen brainstormed.
"24-hour shift, Wednesday night at 6pm until Thursday night at 6pm," Amelia suggested. "That totals 65 hours a week. Pretty standard for a department head."
"What's your schedule going to look like?" Owen pondered aloud.
"I was thinking 8:30-3 Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays," Amelia proposed. "Pretty part-time at 26 hours/week, but when everything comes together, that ends up putting Lynne at 40 scheduled hours per week plus any unexpected surprises that might arise. She's used to working 50 hours a week, but I don't want to expect that consistently. I want to keep her happy, so we'll never lose her!"
"So, you and I will both be at the hospital just once a week?" Owen asked sadly.
Amelia clarified, "No, see, we're both there on both Mondays and Tuesdays."
"Oh…" Owen said flatly.
"What?" Amelia inquired.
"I like working with you. I'll miss that," Owen shared sadly. "When do you want to start that schedule?"
"June-ish? In 6-8 weeks? Then the girls will be about 4 months old," explained Amelia.
Owen leaned over and examined Amelia's complex spreadsheet with 5 color-coded columns per day showing his schedule, hers, Lynne's, the older kids', and the babies. The weekends just had the adult columns at this point, so the spreadsheet had a total of 33 columns. "Wow, Amelia. If this doctor thing doesn't pan out, maybe you can look into logistical planning or forecasting of some sort. This is amazing."
Amelia smirked and sat up straighter, "Thank you. Now we just have to live it out." She leaned over and kissed her husband. Owen stood and scooped Amelia up to his arms as she giggled and exclaimed, "What are you doing?!"
"I am carrying my gorgeous wife over to the couch where I plan to ravage her as much as I can even though the kids are still awake," Owen explained as he kissed her a few times.
"Ravage? Wow…" Amelia laughed.
Owen gently placed her down on the sofa. He slipped down on top of her and threw a blanket over them. Sliding his hand under Amelia's t-shirt, Owen whispered, "Is this ok?" Amelia had been in such discomfort for so long that once she received the go ahead to have sex, she just wasn't ready to try. She needed more time to heal – she'd been through so much and so many procedures. Stitches, staples, infections…the last thing she wanted was anymore complications or problems. Besides, Amelia seldom felt sexual in the least. "You are so beautiful," Owen whispered gently as he disappeared under the blanket and began kissing her tummy.
"Owen, no. What if the kids run in here?" Amelia giggled.
"Does that mean elsewhere might be an option?" Owen asked, fearing the answer would be no. He had tried to be extraordinarily patient and understanding. By his calculations, it had been nine months since they had sex. He didn't dare state that detail to her for two reasons: first, because it would make him sound desperate and whiny, and, second, because if there had been an instance he'd forgotten since early in her pregnancy, he didn't want to be seen as forgetting it.
Amelia paused and looked up at the ceiling. "I'm… we could… try, I guess."
Rubbing his stubbly cheek against her smooth skin, he quietly confirmed, "I don't want to push you. If you're not ready…"
"Owen, I'm afraid I'll never feel ready. Let's get the kids to bed and try," Amelia insisted.
"I'll be gentle," he promised. Amelia smiled and stroked his cheek with her hand, mouthing I know.
"How about if you go to the bedroom, do whatever might help you relax and I'll get the kids to bed," he whispered as he kissed her and stood up.
Amelia walked up to the bedroom and ran a bath in their tub. She tilted her head back and closed her eyes as the hot water surrounded her body. Twenty minutes later, Owen came in and knelt down so he could rub her shoulders. He kissed her neck and nibbled her ears as she sighed and relaxed. "That's wonderful. Care to join me in here?" Amelia asked.
"You sure?" Owen sought confirmation while internally his body screamed, Go for it! You've waited long enough. Nail her. Taking off his clothes, he slid into the tub slowly. As the heat surrounded his body, his breathing deepened and slowed. He moved Amelia's little body forward just enough that he could lean his back against the back of the tub and have her rest against his chest. He caressed her shoulders and neck as she rolled her head along his collar bone.
As he reached around to stroke her breasts, Owen drew in his breath with anticipation. He closed his eyes and his hands explored his wife's body. Amelia moaned and relaxed into Owen's gentle touch.
"Mmmmmmm…..I love you," Amelia hummed.
Owen chuckled softly and whispered in her ear, "I love you. I love touching you. I love holding you."
"This is nice," she purred. Owen's hands continued to explore Amelia's body, becoming more tentative as he reached between her legs. Amelia drew in a breath, more in anticipatory fear than due to pain or discomfort.
"You ok?" Owen asked softly with concern. "I can stop."
"No. Don't stop," Amelia encouraged, "just… just… be careful."
Owen rubbed his chin and cheek along Amelia's shoulder and neck and wrapped his arms around her. The couple snuggled that way for some time, simply relaxing into and onto each other. "The water is starting to cool down, don't you think?" Owen inquired.
"Mmmmhmmmm," Amelia agreed sleepily. Owen stood up, stepped out of the tub, and began to dry himself off. He held up a towel for Amelia with one hand and reached his other hand out to help her stand up. When she stepped onto the floor, he wrapped her in the fuzzy towel and hugged her.
"There's this amazing bed in the other room just calling our names," Owen whispered. "Shall we go check it out?" Owen held his hand out and led her to the bed. They slipped under the sheets and began kissing and stroking one another.
Amelia's heart was beating with anxious anticipation. She wanted to feel him, to connect with him so badly. Her hips nearly magnetized toward his. Yet, at the same time, she feared potential pain. Owen's gentleness and concern calmed her to the point where she was willing to keep going and try.
He slid on top of her and looked at her tentatively, silently asking if he should continue. Amelia smiled and kissed him, wrapping her arms around his body and rubbing her fingers into his back. As he entered her, she quietly took in a breath that expressed both relief and fearful anticipation. Scared, he paused until she grabbed his ass and provided a nudge to draw him in further.
Owen moaned and sighed with relief as he reconnected with his beautiful wife who had been through so much. Their first attempt was brief, tentative and faltering, but successful. Of course, he never wanted it to end whereas she was fine with the quick five minutes it took.
Afterward, she snuggled into his side as his strong arm was wrapped around her. He softly kissed Amelia's head and stroked her hair. Just as she began to nod off, Owen heard the babies waking up. He grimaced silently to himself as he took a breath and lowered his shoulders in resignation. Then he slid out of bed and walked to the nursery so he could bring the girls to her.
When Owen walked back into their bedroom, Amelia smiled at the babies but sighed at Owen with disappointment. "My milk came in as soon as you got out of bed. How about if I feed them over there in the chair while you change the sheets? I'm sorry."
"No apologies needed. Grab a blanket and I'll help the three of you settle in," he smiled with reassurance and with the patience of Job. He walked toward the chair in the corner of their bedroom and helped Amelia settle in. His five minutes of relief and the brief sense of relaxation were followed by a reality check and real life. Yet if there was one thing Owen knew how to do well, it was to continue marching forward doing what needed to be done.