Pay day…Fuckin' finally!
It's been a hell of a week to say the least. That first night had been goddamn heavenly — perfect, as far as Terry's concerned! Enjoying that fuckin' excellent dinner that his Princess had worked so hard on. And damn if it wasn't the tastiest goddamn thing he'd had since that steak. A soup that was creamy as fuck and able to warm every last inch of him. Biscuits lighter than air. Edd had modestly picked it apart — that he could've added this or that, but wasn't sure. But how sweet he'd been to assure Terry he'd been so careful to avoid any dairy products in the process!
Absolutely perfect. And then that night…Okay, so they hadn't jumped into bed the second the dishes were washed and Edd was certainly apprehensive to do so as they cuddled on the couch, stalling with some schmaltzy rom-com that could barely hold either of their interests, but the wait was more than worth it. Ending the night with such warm and wonderful intimacy. Tender touches and kisses that stole their breath away. Staving off the cold with the rocking of their bodies. Even then, Terry had tried to pace himself. Despite the desperate desire in him to quench his lust as hard and fast as possible, he'd gone slow for his patient little darling. A worthwhile endeavor, as Edd had leaned into his embrace so wantonly in the throes of their passion. Oh, how beautiful he'd looked, arching his back as the desire took him. And how lyrical his name had sounded on those pouting lips.
Fuck, if that night could've just lasted for-goddamn-ever…
But, of course, that bliss came to a graceful end later on, as they drifted into a spent and satisfied slumber, their limbs tangled together and their bodies molded so perfectly. The morning after offered a surprise day off due to the declining weather, which Terry gladly accepted. Just meant he could spend the day at home, lavishing his darling Princess with loving kisses and sweet nothings barely whispered as they bundled up against the cold outside. Perhaps more clothing than he would've preferred as the day crawled on, but a problem which was quickly resolved later that night as they cuddled and sapped each other's body heat.
It had been so perfect. Has that been established yet? How undeniably perfect it all was? Because Terry sure as fuck can't think of a better way to describe it. Perfect. Perfect, perfect, perfect! The day or so to follow met him with a similar routine. Wake up, either go out to the park for a hella short shift or cuddle back under the covers with Edd, make a simple lunch and later dinner, spend some time between meals sneaking in a few tender embraces and playful games, and then settle in for a night of tentative intimacy. He feels like his happily ever after has finally fuckin' come after teasing him for so long.
Even the mind-numbing board games he'd borrowed from Mike and Dave have been delightful. Dave had been more than ready to shove the distractions at him in an effort to get back into his good graces, and his lie that Edd — or, Marion, rather — would be continuing to stay with him for a while had given that piece of shit more than enough of an excuse to try and make up for his shitty behavior on Valentine's Day.
But amidst all of that tension finally easing, something worse seemed to be bubbling to the surface. For every wonderful moment he allows to linger so blissfully in his mind, he's able to call to mind a number of examples of dismay that had colored Edd's mood. Like when Edd was helping with dinner the other night. Oh, how sweetly he'd leaned into the kiss pressed lovingly to his temple as he drank in the praise for his cooking skills. But that sweetness had soured drastically while they ate. He's ashamed to admit that he'd hardly noticed how Edd's mood had suddenly plummeted about midway through the meal; his little smile falling as he poked and prodded at the food that remained. But even when he had noticed, it made no difference. Edd would divulge nothing in response to Terry's queries. Terry chose not to press. He couldn't push him for this.
Though he wishes he had.
Later that night, he recalls waking to his beloved's pitiful little whimpers; the intense dread that he was somehow hurt jolting him awake. But still, Edd gave him no answer. Some excuse about a bad dream, even a tearful nuzzling back into his arms. Shit, how could he press him for information after that? All he could to was return the shaking embrace and murmur his affections in a feeble attempt to comfort the weeping child.
But that was only the beginning.
In the days that follow, Edd's mood only continued to waffle between a tentative happiness and simmering agony. One minute, they'll be engaged in jovial banter about some text they're invested in, or some sitcom on tv, and the next, that little smile will begin to fade and all of that frivolity will extinguish. He'll watch the boy become less invested in the menial games they chip away the hours with. How he'll often start muttering to himself things he either can't allow Terry to hear or which he himself is unsure of voicing in the first place. How he becomes more drawn to lounging about in his malaise. The occasional compliment or shitty joke could briefly draw him out of his anguish and return that adorable little smile to his face, but fuck if that'd last long. As such,Terry finds himself thankful that he's not had to work much. Sure, the more snow days he's saddled with, the less money he'll be earning, but being home allows him to give Edd the attention he clearly needs, which he decides is ultimately worth it.
Didn't make the nights easier, though. That supposed 'bad dream' persisted, it would seem, because Edd has woken him up almost every night with his crying. He'd stopped asking what it's about. In a desperate bid to understand what's upsetting the kid who continues to keep his lips sealed, he'd feigned sleep after the weeping had roused him and would listen as closely as he could. Every now and then, he'd catch the occasional mumblings. Such hurtful things, he found, mostly about some misguided view Edd's begun to adopt. How he's a terrible person for the choice he made. How his parents are right not to love him. How he's a coward for staying with Terry.
Fuck if that shit didn't kill him to hear. That Edd would already regret his choice, particularly after they'd shared such sweet and tender moments together. And that nothing he's said or done has been enough to comfort him is fuckin' agony. Particularly as those awful thoughts seem to bleed into the days after even more intensely. He's lost track of how many times — usually after a shower — that Edd's come out of the bathroom lately, his eyes and nose red, and his voice hoarse and dripping with hurt. The foam's still doing it's job, clearly. Of course, Edd waves it off — suggesting he might be falling ill again. Yeah, right. After nearly a week of all this, Terry had even decided to ease off the intimacy a little — a regretful sacrifice, as far as he's concerned — and giving Edd a healthy mix of tenderness and space. But, of course, that hasn't worked either, leaving him struggling for a solution.
All of which brings him to today. It's almost noon, so Mike should've had more then enough time to drop his check off in his mailbox. So, after preparing a simple lunch — and making a note that groceries will be near the top of his list after he deposits his check — he pulls his overcoat on, but doesn't bother lacing up his shoes for this quick trip to the mailbox. He's got the day off…again. At least today it was on the schedule that he wouldn't be working. He curses the weather for the umpteenth time as he steps out onto the snow lightly blanketing the ground. Because of course it is. Oh well, he can run his money to the bank after lunch and take Edd out to…
No. No, he's gotta get his clothes washed first. It's too fuckin' cold to have Edd comin' out in his pjs. No. He'll take the day to wash his clothes — maybe a quick trip to the grocery — then they can go shopping tomorrow? Eh…he'll have to see how things play out. As he approaches his mailbox, he spots a few of his coworkers milling about. Wiping snow off of the rides and the stands, sharing some fried squid. Dave's among the group and nods his way. That makes sense.
It's been a relief that that motherfucker's finally chilled out as of late. Still tiptoeing around any subject that might relate to Edd in any way past asking how 'she's' doing. Avoiding any interaction with Terry altogether in a pitiful attempt to ensure he doesn't get on his 'buddy's bad side' again. He'd be shocked by how easily Dave's been buying the lies he's been forging, regardless of how carefully he'd laid them out, but he imagines it's all in some vain attempt to avoid any more guilt trips. The point is, he's backed off the hateful shit and is leaving him be, and that's more than enough. Still, Terry admits that he'd even take some abrasive interaction with that piece of shit if it meant he'd be earning some money while doing it.
Oh well. As he withdraws the usual mass of bills and junk mail and — ugh, another letter from the little Pipsqueak…funny how the little shit hasn't tried to call lately? Maybe he got grounded again. Serves him right. — he feels a small swell of hope that the unstamped envelope will help considerably. That's sure as fuck his check: Mike never bothered with formalities, particularly with his employees who lived within the park. A simple envelope with their name and the check inside has always been enough.
Back to the trailer, he tries to quell his enthusiasm. Can't get too ahead of himself. He'll probably still have to be at least a little conservative with his money for some time, but taking Edd out to pick out a couple of cute outfits shouldn't be outside the realm of possibilities, right? Maybe a new coat as well? It's still so cold outside! Gotta keep his little darling nice and warm when he slips out to the park for the day. He tears open the envelop, grinning as he scans the slip.
…Fuck.
His face falls as his eyes lock on the number and as he slumps down into one of the kitchen chairs. He's still safely within a relatively high three digits, but it's a lot less than he was hoping for, particularly since he won't be paid again till after the first of the month, after most of his bills are due, and he knows that check will be absolute garbage due to the weather. Shit, were my hours really that bad leading up this one, though? There's no way this is gonna cover much past the necessities. Maybe a little extra for the occasional take-out? But…should he really be taking Edd out to get him new clothes right now? Maybe…he should wait for his next check? After he's paid for the important shit and when the next check can be put more towards frivolities? Or…maybe the check after that, if the weather doesn't fuckin' improve…Fuck, until the park re-opens and their attendance goes up — thereby giving him more hours — his checks will just keep being shit, leaving him with no choice but to put most of his money towards bills and groceries.
More importantly than all that, though, how will he explain this to the kid? Will his attempt to be frugal while his hours are shit just come off as him breaking his promise the way Edd might be expecting him to? Should he just go ahead and get him the clothes and forgo some of his utilities for a month or so? Or is it better to let Edd be mad at him while also keeping him warm and fed?
He sighs, rubbing his forehead. Either way, he can still wash the clothes he'd gotten him before while he figures it out, so he can maybe go outside at some point when the weather improves. And maybe they can go to a store and at least take a look around at the offerings? Maybe there'll be a good deal going on? And shit, the laundromat ain't gonna break the fuckin' bank…Oh! And he can let Edd wear one of his jackets for the time being to keep him warm till the temperature rises! That…might work?
Yeah…good plan.
Taking a breath to calm himself, he rises to his feet and makes his way to the bedroom. Before leaving for the laundromat, he intends to eat and he's gonna make sure Edd has his fill as well. Not to mention, he's gotta let him know he'll be heading out after lunch. He probably could've woken him up to eat while he was checking the mail, but he just couldn't bear to wake Edd after how miserable he's been. He needed to let the kid relax as much as fucking possible. At least he looks comfortable — enough that he seems to be falling back to sleep, since he finds the boy still burrowed under the covers, the sheets tucked tightly under his chin to protect himself from the chill in the air and his precious face relaxed. As Terry approaches him, he blinks his eyes open before rubbing the creeping sleep away without emerging from his little cocoon.
"Do you have to work today?" he croaks wearily.
"Nah," Terry grumbles as he takes a seat on the edge of the bed, adding under his breath, "Though I kinda wish I fuckin' was…" He shakes his head. "Anyway, I don't gotta work, but I do have to go out for a bit to take care of some laundry. And I got lunch ready, so—"
"Laundry?" Edd asks, his attention drawn more intensely, "May I accompany you?"
"I'm sorry, what?" Terry asks, cocking his brow.
"May I come with you to aid with the laundry?" Edd elaborates, "Surely you could use the assistance and I'd be more than happy to help."
"Yeah…I bet you would…" Terry drolls uneasily, "But I'd rather you didn't, sweetheart. I still gotta wash that outfit of yours and it's too cold for you to be goin' out in your pjs."
Edd shrugs; "I'm quite certain you have something around here I could wear…then I could also wash my pajamas." Tucking his chin towards his chest again, he gazes up at Terry with his adorable, pleading eyes. "Please, Terry?"
God-fucking-dammit…With a sigh, Terry gives up any notion of either denying Edd or throwing out any possible excuse to persuade him to stay. That adorable little face and his begging are too fuckin' much. And hell, this is the most interest he's shown anything for the past few days. It's damn important that he take advantage of that to lift his spirits.
"Alright…" he grumbles, "But if you're gonna be comin' out with me, then you're gonna make sure to stick to our story from the other day."
"That I'm your sister?" Edd guesses, rolling his eyes.
"Yes, that one," Terry confirms, "And that our folks are moving closer, so they're leaving you with me for a little while so they can finish all that bullshit. Got it?"
"Oh…kay…?" Edd pouts back at him, "I suppose I can manage that?"
"Good," Terry sighs, "In that case, g'head and get up. We'll get the clothes together and get goin' after we eat."
Edd starts to sit up, a small smile creeping onto his face, but stops abruptly just as the blankets begin to slip down over his naked body. Shuddering, he reaches behind him to rub his lower back. Terry regards him suspiciously.
"Y'alright?" he asks, reaching towards him.
Casting him a weary look, Edd mumbles back; "You're too rough…"
"Oh…" That.
"Please…move aside…" he requests with a blush, his tone growing indignant, "It's difficult enough to stand without you hovering over me and…I just realized that I desperately need a shower."
Great, now he's in a shit mood…
Defeated, Terry rises to his feet, giving Edd plenty of room to stumble to his feet. He falters a little at first, particularly as he tries in vain to shield his genitals from Terry's prying eyes, but eventually stands straight enough to hobble out of the room. Terry follows him as far as the bathroom before bypassing him to head to the kitchen to retrieve a garbage bag. As he returns to the bedroom with it in hand, he hears the pipes groan in protest, signifying the water beginning to run.
In the meantime, Terry begins gathering their clothes from the floor and the hamper in the hall. He tosses Edd's Valentine's outfit, his pajamas, underwear, socks, and a few of his own clothes into the bag. He also decides to strip the bed — might as well wash the sheets while they're at it. Edd'll like that, right?
Before turning to his drawers to find something for Edd to wear, he glances at the bedside table. There is…one other thing that might lift Edd's spirits a little more…But…he'd been adamant as fuck to not let Edd have that back…But…then again…Edd's happiness is supposed to be more important than that arbitrary bullshit. But…going against his word like that, that'll make him look weaker, wouldn't it? But…Edd's been so depressed…But…But…Ugh…Fuck it.
After a quick glance at the door, half-expecting Edd to come back the second he does, he opens the drawer and retrieves Edd's old hat before shoving it down into the bag; making sure it's well buried beneath the rest of the clothes and sheets. A good washing is definitely in order. Whether this will 'perfectly' clean it is questionable, but it definitely won't hurt. And hell, maybe Edd won't even want it anymore, maybe he will, but the gesture should be enough, right?
With that done, Terry takes some time to search through his drawers for something appropriate to wear. The dresses are taunting him. Fuck if he doesn't want to see Edd wearing them again. He looked so goddamn precious. So fuckin' pretty and sweet. And how effortless it'd be to fit in a quick—No! It's cold as fuck out and the dresses aren't gonna be warm enough to wear!
Maybe later…after he's got the boy feeling better.
No, instead, he scours through his own clothes, locating a pair of lounge pants and an old sweater that are definitely clean, if a little musty from being stored away for so long. That'll work. Something nice and warm to protect Edd from the cold. He also makes sure to grab one of his spare jackets as well. That'll do it.
Should make him look cute as hell too.
Finally, Edd walks back into the bedroom, a towel tied modestly around his torso and his hair mostly dry. Terry regrets to note that his eyes and nose are a rosy red. He's been fuckin' crying again…With a sigh, Terry hands him the clothes.
"Here," he states, "These should work, right?"
Edd inspects them carefully before shrugging; "I think so, yes."
"Good," Terry leans down to place a quick peck to his cheek, "G'head and get dressed. I'll wait for you in the kitchen."
Grabbing the bag of clothes and tying it off, he takes his leave. Sitting down at the table to wait, he finally ties his shoes. He begins planning for after they finish the laundry. They can pick up some dinner on the way home— he'll have enough money to cover that much, for sure, but not a lot else. Certainly no more steaks or other extravagant dinners for a while. Hell, maybe less eating overall if he can help it just to stretch his dollar a little further. Well, for himself, at least. As far as he's concerned, Edd's not going hungry again.
Not like before.
He's brought from these thoughts by Edd approaching him with the jacket over his arm, his shoes on, and the clothes barely clinging to his tiny frame. Terry has a feeling the pants are tied off at his hips, though he can't see it past the sweater, which nearly reaches the boy's knees. Dammit…He looks too damn precious. Too fucking cute. Wearing clothes that look too adorable on him, but which would look so much better on the fuckin' floor.
Gritting his teeth, Terry turns his attention elsewhere.
"G'head n' dig in," he shrugs, nodding to the chair beside him.
Without a word, Edd takes a seat beside him, setting the jacket on one of the extra chairs. As he does, the bright red fabric of the novelty squid hat peeks out past the expanse of plaid. From the corner of his eye, Terry notices him inspecting his sandwich, not really eating just yet. Seems like he's not got much of an appetite as he nibbles on it anxiously; eating slowly, but somewhat steadily. Terry watches him carefully, waiting for him to say something — anything at all — only to be met with silence. Jesus, how shitty of a mood is he in? Popping that last bite into his mouth, Terry turns to him a little more.
"Hey," he begins, delicately nudging him to get his attention.
Edd glances up at him, his expression unreadable. Not happy. Not necessarily sad, but definitely leaning that way. Biting back the question that demands an answer, Terry tries to begin slow.
"Y'alright?" he asks, trying to keep his tone soft and gentle.
A flash of fear crosses Edd's face before he schools it to something more confused. He shrugs, suddenly much more interested in the food before him.
"Of course," he mumbles, "Just…still sore."
Seriously? Falling back on that again?
"Really?" Terry asks, sounding more incredulous than perhaps he was intending, "Cuz you seem to be pretty bothered by somethin' lately." He sees the kid tense again. "And I think you should talk about it."
That uncertain expression melds into something more frustrated. Something that refuses to decide between hurt and angry.
"There's nothing to talk about," he shrugs, "I'm fine."
"Are you?" Terry presses, "Y'know, if somethin's botherin' you, you can fuckin' tell me."
Those little shoulders fall. Sandwich abandoned, Edd starts fidgeting.
"Why, all of a sudden, do you feel the need to talk?" he asks, his voice strained, "Isn't this what you wanted? I'm still…here and…giving you what you want without protest…Isn't that enough for you?"
Terry grits his teeth, biting back the bitterness threatening to slip out in his tone, "I also said I'd give you what you want, remember?"
Edd's shrinking in on himself a little more; "Maybe I don't…know what I want?"
Shit…Forcing a calming breath, Terry rubs his forehead.
"You sayin' you changed yer mind?"
"No," Edd counters. No hesitation. That's good, right? "I just…"
Now he hesitates.
"Just what?"
Huffing a little Edd pushes his plate away; "Nothing. Can you just…please drop this?"
Fucking— Terry sighs. He's pushing his luck perhaps a bit too far. Maybe it's best to circle back around later?
"Fine," he shrugs back, nodding to the abandoned sandwich, "You gonna finish that?"
Edd shakes his head; "Can we just go?"
With a shrug, Terry grabs the plate of discarded food as he rises from the chair. As he places it in the fridge — like hell is he gonna let it go to a waste — Edd pulls on the jacket and the squid hat. Turning back to him, Terry furrows his brow in concern.
"You're really gonna wear that?"
Oof, bad question. Edd gives him a dirty look in response.
"Of course I am," he grumbles bitterly, "It's all I have."
Well, guess that means his decision to wash that old black hat is probably the best idea he could've come up with right now. That attitude, however, ain't gonna fly. Taking a soothing breath, he beckons Edd towards him. When he's within reach, he rests his hands on Edd's arms as though he were holding him still, but with the intent to just hold his attention.
"Look," he begins, his tone stern, but as gentle as possible, "I'm not sayin' you gotta be my little ray of sunshine and I ain't gonna force you to talk if you don't want to, but can you maybe lighten up a little bit? I think I'm bein' real fuckin' generous right now — takin' you out like this. I don't have to bring you with me to wash some clothes. You can just stay in this fuckin' trailer all alone till I come back." Edd opens his mouth to protest when Terry continues. "But, unless I gotta work, I don't necessarily wanna do that, so I'm letting you come with me anyway. So, can you maybe gimme a break and ease up on this attitude you're givin' me?"
Shoulders slumping, Edd bows his head, fidgeting shyly.
"M'sorry…" he mumbles, "You're right. I…" He looks to have something on his mind that he wants to say, but decides against it. "I'm sorry. I…do appreciate you allowing me to accompany you and assist with your errand."
"You're welcome," Terry retorts, releasing him, "Alright, let's get going, then. We gotta bit of a walk to the van."
Edd hastily obeys, holding the way-too-large jacket more tightly over himself and his little fingers just barely poking out of the sleeves as Terry leads the way to the door. When they're both bundled sufficiently, Terry opens the door for them to leave.
As he locks up behind them, it's made clear that Edd had severely underestimated Terry's warnings about the cold. Not that Terry feels the need to complain, of course, as Edd draws himself against his side, shivering and clinging to him for warmth. Eh, if it were making it hard to walk, Terry might protest to that, but he can't deny he likes the feeling of his little Princess latching onto him like this.
Of course, upon reaching the van, he lets Edd in first, reaching in to start the engine and crank up the heat as well. After storing the bag in the back of the van, he climbs into the driver's seat and throws on his safety belt while listing his itinerary under his breath.
"Alright, bank first to deposit the check," he murmurs, "Hope the drive-thru is fuckin' open this time…Then the laundromat. Then—"
"Would it be possible to go shopping for some new clothes as well?" Edd interjects.
Terry winces in response; "I…don't know…"
He doesn't have to look to know that Edd's face is screaming his betrayal; "But you said—"
"I know," Terry groans back, rubbing his eyes, "And I want to — I really do. I wanna take you out n' do that today, but…I don't know if I can."
"Why not?" Edd pleads, "I said I was sorry about my behavior…Do you really have to —"
"This isn't about that," Terry interrupts, finally looking at him, "I don't know if I have the money." To his surprise, that seems to sink in a lot better than anything else he's said so far. He looks ahead, putting the van in gear. "I'm sorry, okay. My hours have been shit lately and I spent a little more money than I should have on your presents. Cuz of that, I'm gonna have to put this week's paycheck and…probably the next one to food and bills n' shit. We can go to the store or somethin' and look around, but I can't really promise I can buy a lot for you right now."
Edd's silent for a moment as Terry pulls out of the park. Great, now he's mad again…What the fuck? He could've sworn Edd hadn't been the kind've brat who'd get all pissy when he didn't get what he wanted. At least in this regard. Maybe he's been too lenient? Just as he begins to debate between putting his foot down a little more and excusing this as a by-product of the awful mood the kid's been in lately, Edd finally speaks again.
"I'm sorry," he mumbles, "I didn't realize your monetary situation was so dire."
Damn…He didn't intend to hurt his feelings…
"It's not your fault," Terry shrugs back, "Like I said, I still have enough to cover the bills and buy groceries — I can even pick up lunch for us after we're done with the laundry and maybe I could put a little something towards a cheap outfit. I just…can't afford much after that."
"It's okay…" Edd shifts in his seat a little, "We don't…have to. I mean, I'll have something to wear outside for a day…That'll be nice…"
"Yeah," Terry murmurs, catching the defeat in his tone.
They're silent again, letting the heat of the moment settle. Terry lets himself relax a bit, relieved that Edd accepted his answer so readily.
"Terry?"
He glances at the boy curiously out of the corner of his eye to find him fidgeting again.
"Could we…perhaps visit the library as well?" he asks, "That way we could…pick out a book to read? Or…I think libraries allow video rentals of sorts? We could possibly pick up a movie or two?"
Terry scoffs; "Shit, I wish you'd suggested that before we left. I still gotta return that cookbook…"
"Oh, well…" Edd pauses, "I'm sure they'll allow you to check out more than one item at a time. It won't hurt to ask, right?"
Shooting him a grin, Terry nods; "Yeah, sure. Can't hurt. If it's still open by the time we finish everything, we'll swing by the library."
That seems to settle it, with Edd allowing an excited grin to spread across his face as they pull in to the bank.