Goosebumps erupt over my skin, breath catching as the scene plays out again. There's a scream caught in my throat as I turn to run, yet headlights floods the area, blinding me; forcing me to look back. Unlike my own stifled scream, Kenny's rings piercingly through the air. Once again I turn to run, but the lights are closer, the figure behind the windshield familiar, I'm trapped; stuck in some inescapable torturous nightmare. Out of further options I squeeze my eyes closed, and in the next second I feel like I'm falling. Flicking my eyes back open everything is different, I'm no longer in the pet store, it's day time and the headlights are gone. Instead I'm sat on Tweek's bed, the boy opposite me is obviously distressed, which of course immediately has me concerned. Yet all too soon my concern is flipped for confusion as I realise that I've heard this before. He's told me this story before. Did I actually fall? Through time?
"Th-they killed him Craig! You've gotta believe me! Why doesn't anyone believe me?!"
My stomach sinks further still as I remember fully, I'd acted the part, said the right things, but I hadn't really believed him. Shit, is this real?
Only as I try to focus on the boy before me his words fade away, the scene behind him is no longer his room, but again it's somewhere I recognise. Not because I've been here before, but because I've had this conversation before, heard him describe this before. As I begin instead focusing on the details behind him, his bodily vision vanishes. And instead I'm watching the scene as if I'm in it, only no one else seems to realise that I'm here. Blinking, almost in disbelief, I watch as Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny and Tweek follow a fucking gnome into a tree. However by now actual disbelief is long gone, and with a sigh I follow after them. My eyes widen to the size of saucepans as I look around, seeing the Underpants Gnome's 'village' in far more detail than I ever remember Tweek having given me. Following the familiar voices I make my way through, keeping my distance behind them as I listen to the gnome we've been following attempt to explain business. Only as he continues, yet manages not to explain anything, I find myself beginning to panic, eyes darting around the room, I know how this story ends. Kenny dies. Shit it wasn't until Tweek next saw him, in real life I mean, that I was able to convince him that it was a fucking nightmare. But I'm starting to suspect that it wasn't, somehow I've fallen through time; through memories.
"Jesus Christ! Look out!"
My stomach practically does a backflip as my eyes dart to the source of the yell from above, just in time to see the cart begin to tumble through the air, time around me seems to slow as it falls, my mind screams at me to move, push him aside, save him; my body is locked in place. Given this isn't currently happening, there's little I could actually do anyway. At least that what I tell myself as it crushes Kenny before my eyes, I'd swear I feel his blood hit my skin; I promptly squeeze them firmly closed.
""Fine I'll tell you, you won't remember anyway. No one ever does."
As the deeper voice of modern day Kenny sounds I slowly blink my eyes back open, looking around in confusion; searching for him. Again I recognise my surroundings, hardly surprising really, I spent far too much time at South Park Elementary. A frown sets in as I glance around seeing my classmates, we're on the stage? Why the fuck are we on the stage?
"Timmy!"
Blinking to my right I groan as Timmy appears from the wing dressed as a woman. That fucking Helen Mirrin play, shit I thought my memory had blocked out this shit. Only the all too familiar stiring begins in my stomach, and ignoring the prepubescent voices surrounding me I search out Kenny. Swallowing my gaze rises to above him as the memory releases more details. The stage light hanging is going to fall. I know it is, I don't know how but I do. And as Cartman moves the messed up Turkey to where he assumes the light will hit, his voice trails off, and the light drops. Once again Kenny dies right before my eyes.
"I can't die."
Again his voice has age to it, nothing makes any fucking sense anymore. Though did it ever really make all that much to begin with? By this point I'm noticing he only speaks to me when my eyes are closed; that upon opening them grizzly visions await me. Chewing on my bottom lip I resolve to simply refuse to open them any further. Instead I keep them squeezed firmly shut, remaining defiant even as Kenny's laughter fills my head. "Fuck off asshole!" For a second he seems to comply, laughter fading away to silence, but then a new voice sounds. A voice I know almost as well as my own, Clyde's.
"Hey, I'm not fat, you guys. I'm just kind of big-boned."
For a split second a smirk pulls at my lips, I don't need to open my eyes to know where I am now. This day is imprinted firmly in my memory, the day I started teasing Clyde about his weight. Hell the others opened the door, I just broke the lock over the years. It's an even jive anyway, he's always been quick enough to respond with remarks about my own skinny frame in return. Running my hand down my face I frown in concentration as I search my memory. I remember this, and nothing bad happened. So why the fuck am I here. Against my better judgement and with a heavy frustrated sigh I relent. Let Kenny fucking win; and open my eyes.
"So I don't get to be on the team now?"
"Shut up fatass!"
The scene is the same, the day is different. I mean I remember Clyde never ended up on the sleigh, just not why. This just gets fucking weirder, hell knows I haven't taken enough fucking drugs to explain this level of memory loss; and apparently also return. Scanning the scene my eyes land on said sleigh, Kyle and Stan are sat together upon it, at the rear sits a large concrete slab. Common sense allows me to piece together this missing memory together before it plays out. And the second Kenny lets go of the sleigh, jumping on as it begins it's decent I squeeze my eyes closed, willing this to end. The vision is gone, yet the sounds remain, and this time I hear Kenny die.
"The worst part? Nobody even remembers me dying."
Guilt stabs at me, shaking my head I find my voice. "No!" I'm done with this bullshit. Why me? Why the fuck do I have to see this? Show his fucking friends instead! I'm done. So fucking done. Talk all you want asshole, I'm not opening my eyes!" His sadistic laughter returns, because of course it fucking does. Then the visions begin playing like a fucking film reel in quick succession. Apparently it no longer matter that my eyes are open or closed. Like it or not? I'm going to watch this. Syphilis? Asphyxiation? Shot, stabbed, hit by fucking cars? I see it all.
Light spills through the curtains, stinging at my eyes as I blink them open looking around. I'm back in my room, Tweek's arm looped around my waist, holding me against him. Anchoring me to the moment if you like; I'm safe. With a sigh, and several groans, I roll to face him, pressing my forehead to his chest to listen to his steady breathing as he sleeps. Each of my senses has been invaded and conquered by him, so why is the voice at the back of my mind saying Kenny's name? With a small groan I will it to fuck off, yet instead the memories of my tortured dreams resurface. Finally I seriously consider the idea that Kenny can't die. Is nonsensical, that much is true, yet given recent events I can hardly declare it impossible. The horrible reality sinks in that if I want answers? Once again I'm going to need Kenny. The universe sure does have a sick sense of humour.
Reluctantly I'd pulled myself from his sleeping form, the grumbling in my stomach making me aware that I haven't actually eaten in days. Not without the help of a tube anyway. Unlike Tweek's house, my own is very rarely well stocked; before I've reached the kitchen I've already resigned myself to the fact we'll be simply eating toast this morning. Walking in I find Ruby already half way through a bowl of Fruit Loops, or it's generic unbranded cousin at least. My mother seeming to have sensed I was in close proximity already has a glass of water and tablet set out.
"Craig, medication."
Groaning I roll my eyes walking over to swallow it, "satisfied?" Letting out a heavy sigh she simply shakes her head a little, waiting until my back is turned to speak again. And fuck I'm grateful.
"No. Craig I- I told you. The doctor said no strenuous activity."
Oh fuck, she heard us last night? My face is on fire, knuckles whitening as I grip the sideboard. Well isn't that just fucking fantastic. "I-I didn't-" the words are barely out of my mouth when she cuts me off.
"I know what sex sounds like Craig."
Oh god did she have to say it like that? Gross. Attempting to at least pretend I've kept my cool I merely nod in response, focusing instead on making Tweek's coffee. Fuck the toast, fruit will do, it's quicker.
As soon as I'd been able to I'd exited, though by then I'm pretty sure pure embarrassment was pumping through my veins. Pausing outside my room I take deep breaths, sighing at our pathetic meal: two bananas and one orange. Better than nothing right? Exhaling heavily I push inside, the light from the now open curtains is illuminating his sleepy face, allowing me to fully witness it light up at the sight of me. Though as I make my way over the first thing he reaches for is actually the coffee, so I guess it could've been that he was reacting too. In this moment I decide the embarrassment is mine alone, he doesn't need to know that she knows. And for the foreseeable future I intend to focus solely on the two most important guys in my life, Tweek and Stripe.
Of course, as always my peace is short lived, and after nuzzling the top of Stripe's head softly I reluctantly set him back in his cage upon the knock at my bedroom door. Who the fuck is that? Grumbling to myself I make my way over, pulling the door open with a raised eyebrow. Kyle? Our eyes meet, before his drop down a little, is.. is he surveying my chest? Suddenly I'm very aware that I'm shirtless. Heat begins to spread across my cheeks as a frown sets in, my mostly functioning arm making a feeble attempt to wrap around me and cover some skin. I'm beyond uncomfortable, it's pretty fucking clear, yet instead of taking note of that he reaches out, finger grazing gently over one of my many bruises.
"Holy shit Craig."
Out of instinct I step back a little from his touch, finally his eyes return to my face, and my expression is enough to have him blushing now too.
Were it just the two of us? I'd have put on a damn shirt and pretended it never happened; because let's face it I wish it hadn't. I have no idea why he thinks it's okay to touch me, I've spent our entire school life ensuring people know that it isn't. But whatever. As it turns out it wasn't just the two of us, Tweek's startled scream lets out from the doorway of the bathroom. Oh what perfect fucking timing, thank you so much. Opening and closing my mouth I look between them pair of them, that didn't look good. Kyle looks slightly confused, Tweek? Well he's readily closing the gap with a face like thunder. My mouth opens to speak, but he beats me to is, words firing from his own with force, in the same moment his arm pulls back, squeezing my eyes closed I grimace a little at the crunching sound of Kyle's nose under his fist.
"Don't touch my Craig!"
A small groan tumbled from my lips, I knew it was coming; that doesn't make it any better. On the other hand hearing him claim me as his own has me unable to suppress a slight smirk. Kyle stumbles backwards holding his reddened nose, there's no blood though; lucky bastard. Only as he lets it go I see something fresh in his eyes. I can't read Kyle; not properly. Or at least not in the way I'm able to read Tweek. But in this instance I see the rage, his own arm retracts before Tweek realises, so instead I move between them, and being caught in the crossfire I take yet another hit to the head. Yelping in what I can only say constitutes an embarrassingly high tone I crumble sideways to the wall holding my once again throbbing head, "if people could stop hitting me that would be fucking fantastic!"
Within seconds Tweek is shrieking, at my side and checking me over. Kyle is opening and closing his mouth like a goldfish, apologising; well partially, in the sense he wasn't aiming for me at least. I suspect he's chalked Tweek's reaction up to his usual nervous nature, however as his apologies trail off I practically see the light go on inside his head.
"Oh shit. Y-you had a concussion didn't you?"
Nodding a little I grimace as I stand fully again, "yeah, thanks for remembering."
Suddenly he looks terrified.
"Oh god, are you okay?! Shit that could be really bad."
Rolling my eyes I sigh shaking my head, "it's not. And that not the first hit I've taken since. Chill out, you don't hit that hard. Besides you guys hear the ringing too right?"
Kyle's face only drops further, Tweek beside me goes rigid letting out a panicked gasp, looking down to him I reveal my small smirk, earning myself a light slap to the arm.
"That's not funny Craig!"
Pouting a little I feign pain at the slap before chuckling a little nodding, "yes dear. Though on a serious note, can we sit down?"
Quickly he nods leading me past a seemingly still confused Kyle, and over to sit on the edge of my bed. Leaning to kiss his cheek softly I mutter thanks, before blushing a little as Kyle somewhat awkwardly walks in after us. Glancing to the floor I see Tweek's shirt from the night before, and as quickly as my limited movement will allow I pull it on.
Satisfied I'm not in any actual immediate danger, Tweek turns, returning his attention to Kyle. The deep frown setting in his brow lets me know that nothing either of us can say or do right now will change anything. The wound is too fresh, he's neither ready to forget nor forgive.
"What are you doing here Kyle?!"
If the look on Kyle's face is anything to go by, then the tone of Tweek's voice takes him by surprise. Sighing softly I reach across the bed for my lovers hand, squeezing it softly in an attempt to ground him. It isn't until after he's witnessed this interaction, that Kyle answers.
"I just came to see him. To see if he was okay? After the accident I mean. And uh, well to tell him what happened."
Squeezing again I try to fight back any further reddening of my cheeks, though I doubt I'm successful. Letting out a frustrated sigh Tweek finally squeezes back, I take this to mean that he's still pissed, incredibly so, but he considers that an acceptable request. So I guess I should answer.
Giving him a brief description of my injuries I trail off with a shrug, allowing him space to speak. However as he explains the events which took place after I'd left, I feel I already know them. I've been told before. Hell, squeezing my eyes closed out of confusion, I swear I can hear a similar version of these events in Kenny's voice, circling my mind. Only, Kyle hasn't mentioned Kenny. I killed Kenny; and Kyle hasn't even fucking mentioned it? I call bullshit.
"Nobody even remembers me dying."
This time his voice comes through so clearly I need to scan the room, just to check he isn't here. But of course he isn't, it's just in my head. Deep in thought I'm no longer even listening, and when I speak it's entirely without intention. "What about Kenny?" Both pairs of eyes land on me with equally confused stares before Kyle shrugs.
"I uh, I dunno. I think we lost him when we all ran outside after that vortex showed up."
Wrong. That isn't why we ran. Holy shit he really doesn't remember anything. By now my heart is thumping against my ribs with such force that I can only assume it's attempting to escape. The options are: Kenny really can't die, this is all some fucked up side effect of brain trauma, or i truly have gone insane. Regardless I know better than to voice these right now; no, I need to talk to Kenny.
Having come to the end of the story Kyle let's out a small sigh, seemingly unsurprised at my lack of reaction. Though to be fair I suppose that's what I'm known for. Instead he glances between Tweek and I chewing his lip before again settling his gaze on me.
"I uhh, I'm guessing you told him?"
A small growl leaves the blonde beside me as I nod in response. Hanging his head Kyle let's out a heavy sigh nodding to himself before looking to Tweek.
"Right.. shit. Tweek, I'm sorry. Seriously sorry. It was stupid and shouldn't have happened. He isn't who I want, I promise."
The snort Tweek lets out in response screams 'bullshit', and with a shake of his head his eyes harden.
"Maybe you should just go Kyle."
It wasn't a question, the tone of his voice gave that away, and has left Kyle blinking in surprise. Personally I'm not overly shocked, nor am I overly happy about it.
"But, I need to tell Craig something."
My eyebrow raises questioningly as Tweek blinks surprised, frown setting in further still as he lets out a small low growl.
"W-well say it then."
The shake to his voice tells me he isn't expecting to like what he hears. I'm simply confused, and unlikely to gain answers if Kyle's ever growing, or glowing if you like, blush is anything to judge by.
"N-no. Alone."
This time the growl from beside me is louder, and followed by a groan of my own as I lock eyes with Kyle, "seriously, anything I need to know, I'll tell him anyway." Beside me I feel Tweek sit a little straighter, without looking at him I can feel the smirk on his face. Kyle on the other hand looks wide eyed and panicked, letting out a clearly frustrated sigh before shaking his head.
"Whatever. Forget it. I guess I really should go."