Meanwhile, in the plot

"This is highly disturbing," said Bernie to the reader, "I can't seem to keep control of the ship!"

Obama did a quick scan with his eye holes. "I uhhhhhhhhhhh, see the problem." Obama said with his mouth holes.

Obama points poignantly towards a mesh of chewed up wires on the floor, "Rats!"

"How could this Happen!" Bernie screamed.

"Sorry that was probably me," Danny Devito confessed christfully, "I left half a cheese and ham and pepperoni and cheese sandwich on the floor last night."

A loud explosion signaled to the crew that something probably not great just happened.

"We just lost our right wing!" Cried JEb!

"Hows the ship holding up?" Ron Paul asked.

"Actually, completely fine." Bernie said, "It turns out the right wing was completely useless, and was actually making it harder to fly this thing" Bernie said, looking directly at the audience in case they missed my very clever point.

Everyone relaxed. It seems like things were gonna be fine.

Then a giant man sized rat walked into the room.

"HIM!" Obama shouted knowingly, "The Giant Rat who makes all of the rules! He's here to tell us what to do!"

"Obama, no offense, but what are you even talking about" Bernie said.

"No he's right," said Jeb!, "When I was little this rat told me to rig the 2000 election. I couldn't help myself, he was too powerful!"

"Jeb! you were 46."

"Little-er"

Sans spoke up "HHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhHhhHHHhHHhhhhhhHHHH"

"Good point," said Bernie, "But I don't think this rat has the power you all believe it has. And I know a thing or two about rats in my time dealing with America's Billionaires."

"You may, uhhhhhhhhhh, choose to disbelieve me, said Obama, but I would not underestimate the rat. He has mystical powers." Obama wiggled his fingers for emphasis.

The rat man pulled out a glock. "I AM SQUEAK BUTTIGEG AND I AM HERE TO DESTROYYYYYY" He shoots the plane engine with his glock.

AHHHHHHHHHHHhHHHHHHH says the Hal-Bern as it crashes into the fields below.

All the important characters emerged from the wreckage unharmed.

"Ugh, Ok, this is once again not ideal," Bernie admits, "We're a long way off from DC, since we took that detour to California to watch the California raisins concert."

Obama nods sadly

"Let's get our bearings straight" Ron Paul said cooly, "Or we may be in more dire straits" he says musically.

"We're in flat, seemingly uninhabitable land" Bernie observed, "Could be literally anywhere in the midwest"

Obama took a blade o f grass and gave it the test. "I'd say, uhhhhhhhh, bit east of Nebraska, bust uhhhhhh, still the west side of the Misssissippi" Obama looks towards the sky, "And, uhhhhhhhh, judging by the sun it's AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGHSHHHHAHAhpasHHGSKL:KG:J:KJEGK:IJPEWLJHGHLGESHGESIJJLESHJGESIHOLJEGJI:"ANHH!-

Obama rolled around the grass, but the fire in his eyes lit the fields aflame as well.

"There's a house over their" Jeb! noticed with his special eyes, "Maybe they'll be friendly"

Knock Knock they knocked on the front door. A woman opened the door.

"Elizabeth Warren," Bernie was caught off guard, "What are you doing here?"

"We're here on the campaign trail," she bespoke, "Iowa is the first state that will help determine who will challenge the Donald in single combat!"

Bernie noticed inside there was a table wherein sat several other people he vaguely recognized. They will probably not be important. The first to approach was Andrew Yang, who gave Bernie a 1000 dollar bill. After fulfilling his one gag he went back to the table, likely to never appear again. Our heroes went inside and enjoyed a classic Iowinian meal of beefed potatoes and chocolate syrup.

Another knock on the door. A man, drenched in the sweat of the seven seas, gasping for what little air he could find. "I- ahhhh, came - hhhhhhhoooooooo, all the way - aaaahh, from South - hhhhhhr, Carolina." He panted.

"Jesus man, catch your breath" Warren Pleaded, handing him a cool glass of iced water.

"Glub glub glub glub" Ahhhh refreshing. "Thanks"

"Well, what was so important that you ran half the country for?" Warren questioned.

"Ahhh. I just wanted to say hi to Bernie"

"Yea, sure ok".

Flames engulfed the entire house as Obama's pleading eyes wrought the wrathful judgement of the Sun.