Book Three, Part Nineteen: The Beginning of Slexie

Lexie's Point of View

I sat in front of my salad I had prepared, like I did almost every night. I wasn't blessed with my sister's proportional shape, nor my stepsister's willowy frame. I had to watch my weight or those extra ten pounds I couldn't ever seem to keep off would rear its ugly head. It usually settled right on my ass. I hated my ass. Most men preferred the Molly's and Meredith's of the world. I was neither.

I was a fine surgeon, blessed with a photographic memory. This didn't make me many friends as I always seemed to outshine them, always knowing the answer. Those who I called my friends were usually only that because I could make them look good with my never-ending knowledge.

My life was full of routines. I got up, took a shower, got dressed, drove to work, worked, went home, prepared my salad, cleaned up, took another shower, read a few chapters of whatever book I was reading, and went to bed. I did this most every day. The occasional family dinner or drink at Joe's with my fellow colleagues or a quiet fumble in the dark with Alex Karev uprooted my boring routine but most of the time it was just us.

Me and my routine.

So imagine my surprise when I get a knock on my door at 8pm on a Saturday night. I look down at my salad, for one time wishing I could be left alone with my thoughts and hoping it wasn't Alex, but it probably was, even though Saturdays were the nights he got lucky with pretty, slender women.

"Alex, it is Saturday. Why are you…" I wrenched open the door and my words died on my lips instantly.

It wasn't Alex.

Instead it was the man I had dreamt about every night since I had first laid eyes on him.

Mark Sloan.

"What are you do…? Is Mer okay? Mia?" I panicked.

I took notice of his pained face.

I pulled him in my apartment, wincing as I realized I hadn't gotten to the cleanup portion of my routine just yet. Also, because I just touched him willingly and casually. I pulled him to my couch and sat him there, standing in front of him anxiously, waiting for him to tell me the bad news.

It had to be bad news. Why would he be here personally otherwise? He made a point to avoid me, as I did him.

"Mark?" I prodded, standing there helplessly.

"Alex?" He asked.

"What? Wait, did something happen to Alex?" I asked.

"Would it bother you if it had?" He asked, gazing searchingly at me.

"Well, yeah. He is nice enough. He is my friend, sort of…You are not making much sense." I said, frustrated.

"Are you two a couple?" He asked.

"What? No! Why would you ask…why are you here?" I said cutting to the chase.

"Do you two have sex?" He continued without acknowledging I had even spoken.

"Do you and Meredith?" I shot back. "Let me guess, that is none of my business. Well, right back at you. Now tell me why you are here or leave."

"Mer and I broke up."

My heart stopped, or rather, it stuttered. I gasped trying to catch my breath. Millions of questions fluttered through my already crowded head, but one remained in the fore front.

"And you came here?" I blurted out.

His gaze deepened, it got more intense as his eyes bore into mine.

"It's the only place I wanted to be." He said.

I look at him incredulously. Then I start pacing back and forth. Again, questions race through my mind as I mutter senselessly about stupid men and their need to have 'someone'. Just like Alex, when he can't find anything better, Mark too comes here after my sister dumps him just expecting me to be happy about it…

Wait? This is what I have wanted for years! Why am I second guessing it now?

"Lex?" I hear behind me.

I take a deep shuddering breath and turn to face him, defeat evident on my face, I am sure.

"What?" I say quietly. "What do you want from me?"

"I don't want anything from you. I just want to take the time to get to know you, the way I should've all those years ago. When I first saw you, you took my breath away. You were wearing this black dress and you had your hear down and this huge friendly smile and I was blown away."

"The intern mixer." I said.

"Yeah, then I was introduced to you later through Mer and Thatcher and I knew you were off limits to me. But that didn't stop me from wanting you. I know that makes me all kinds of wrong…"

"No!" I took a step closer to him. "I know what you mean. I felt the same way about you. But she was my sister. Is my sister. My family…I couldn't. I wouldn't do that to her. And I'm sorry, but I won't now." I said.

"Felt?" Was all he asked.

"I still feel that way Mark, but it doesn't change a thing. You are still off limits to me." I said with finality.

"She gave us her blessing."

"She what?" I gasped.

He reached for me and pulled me down next to him, not letting go of my hand.

"We broke up with each other. It was mutual. I know everyone says that to save face but it truly was. It has been a long time coming. She loves Derek. She always has, you know that as well as I do. I needed to let her go just as much as she needed to let me go. I still love her, I always will, but we are not in love with each other and I don't think we ever have been."

"I know all that, but why me? I am nothing special. Not like Mer." I said.

"How can you say that? You are…everything. You are smart, funny, beautiful, and I want you so badly." He said.

Say what?

"I'm sorry?" I said, stupidly.

He brushed his fingers along my cheek, and I shivered.

"So what does this mean?" I heard myself ask.

"It means you have a choice. You have a choice to make. And I don't want to rush you into making a decision before you are ready. I came over here to say…what I wanted to say was…" He let his breath out. "Now all I can say is…I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you for…ever." He smiled so sweetly at me. "I know I'm a little late in telling you that. I just want you to take your time, you know, take all the time you need. Because you have a choice to make. And when I had a choice to make, I chose wrong. I chose to stick it out with Mer out of some misguided sense of loyalty." He sighed contentedly and then stood up. I still sat there stupidly, blinking up at him. "Good night." He smiled and then let himself out.

Well that just blew my routine out of the fucking water…

Using a MerDer scene to pair Mark and Lexie. What do you think?