Regina ruthlessly denied most of the requests that day- no longer caring about whether they liked her one bit.
'If they're unnecessary, improperly done, or otherwise unacceptable, they get the block.' She thought, stamping a denial on yet another request from Mitarashi-san for housecleaners.
A beautifully filed piece of work was in the pile today, though.
Regina squinted at it. 'That's rare. Usually they at least bypass the unpleasant step of having it approved by the heads of all relevant departments. They skimp on that one pretty bad.'
But this one was impeccable. It had gone through the Jounin Commander, the Chuunin and Genin Supervisory Departments, the Genin Corps Commander, T&I, ANBU leadership…
And ended up on her desk. The last leg.
'Who the hell filed this? And why?' Regina flipped through the heavy stack of pages. 'There's a note way at the bottom from Nara-san, saying he didn't think it would get final approval…. Oh. there.'
She fished out the actual application from within the pile of approvals, various denials, and commentary. 'Name, name…'
She squinted again.
The attached text was… holy shit, this was just a fucking 'how did we do?' survey that the office staff provided. Ostensibly it was to improve their customer service, but it was mostly to keep grumpy Jounin and clients out of their hair. No one ever actually did the paperwork required- giving them a route of complaint just gave them enough satisfaction to leave it lie.
Whoever this was had not taken the hint, evidently.
She read the evaluation with a small snort, flipped back to the application page, and held in a much louder laugh that threatened to spill out of her mouth.
"God love him, he's determined." She said in English, luxuriating in the fact that no one would understand her, even if her door wasn't closed. Regina lazily stared at her door and beyond, where the entire Hokage Building was happily getting on with ignoring her existence.
And the plight of poor, beleaguered Shiranui-san.
'What an opportunity for me, though.' She grinned.
"Let's give the people what they want." She picked up the stamp, fully knowing that she and Genma were the only people who would ever be happy about this.
'It'll make a whole bunch of people I kinda hate unhappy, and won't hurt anything.'
She stamped the approval, wrote up a very carefully-worded (and quadruple-checked) memo to be distributed to all staff, and put it in the middle of the files that she was about to take to Ikemoto-san's desk.
'No smiling.' She reminded herself, stretching her face and massaging out the tense muscles in her cheeks and forehead. 'You have to play this perfectly straight. Of course I know they'll hate this. But they can't know that.'
Face properly slack, she picked up the pile and briskly left her office with her jacket and purse, dropping them off on the desk before walking out of the building for the night.
"Due to a lack of morale and continuing issues with low birth rates, all employees must now flirt with age-appropriate shinobi personnel." Keiko read, with the distinct impression that the world was spinning around her.
"What."
"We have a quota." She said flatly, looking at the attached paper. "It says optimal flirting or banter occurrences should be once per hour- eight or nine times in a regular working day."
The world would stop being weird colors any second now, she was sure of it. And this would become yet another boring budget denial that she could ship down to T&I with a hapless intern.
Keiko blinked.
"What's… sub-optimal?" Takada-san asked, rather cautiously.
She blinked again and refocused on the paper. It was still not a budget refusal. "Minimum is one exchange per working day." She flipped it over. And over again.
It didn't ease the stress headache or her nerves in any way.
"She's punishing us."
"Of course." Keiko said lightly, brain working through consequences and courses. "But we can't disobey, regardless. That would be insubordination and the rejection of Kage authority. It will be included in our job evaluations."
'Shiranui, you wanton harridan. I can't believe she weaponized one of your complaints. What a nightmare.'
She put the memo on the copier and ran it, making dozens of copies.
"This is ridiculous." Takada-san pointed out. "We could complain to the Hokage."
They looked at him with skeptical faces.
'She technically has the authority, and I don't think we want to get in the middle of this.' The Hokage had been in a rough mood for days.
"Or? Maybe… this… is a good thing."
They all turned to face Nishimoto-san. She was obviously thinking, chewing on her bottom lip and tugging lightly on a lock of her hair.
"We could use this." Keiko said slowly. "Think about it. They make our lives so miserable…"
They all seemed to turn that over as a group, making small throat noises.
An unsuspecting victim turned the corner into the lobby, and everyone went still.
Keiko took the shot. "Hey, you!" She called to poor 21-year-old Kotetsu-kun. "Your hair looks really nice today."
The tips of his ears went a little pink, but he perked up. She distinctly saw Izumo-kun poke his head around the corner in alarm, and swing back behind the wall.
"I like your arm muscle." Aomori-san, a 50-something opportunist, said with absolutely no feeling. "You must be working out."
That seemed to further confuse their prey. His eyes darted around the room- both office doors were shut. Jiraiya-hime was gone for the day and her office was now secured and trapped.
'No escape.' Keiko thought, with some small level of amusement.
"Have you been doing skincare? Your pores look amazing." Ryuta-kun, the intern, chipped in.
Everyone agreed with varying levels of feigned interest. He involuntarily leaned backwards. She heard a snicker from the stairwell.
Kotetsu-kun began to edge closer and closer to the Hokage's office door. After everyone in the department had complimented him and thus completed their new job task, they went back to ignoring him entirely.
Izumo-kun slunk into the room to a chair next to his confused and mildly traumatized friend and started to snicker.
"Izumo-kun?" Keiko called, feeling like the situation merited equity. She was a fair and just administrator, no matter what all the Jounin, Chuunin, that lady at the post office, and the Hokage said.
He looked up with wide eyes and rigid body posture.
"Love your butt." She winked.
His face went beet red and he looked immediately down at the floor.
'Perfect.'
After their appointment, they fled out of the window using shunshin instead of walking past the office.
She could tell by the fact that Sarutobi-sama grouched about their lack of manners, and then asked Ryuta-kun to bring in a broom and dustpan for the leaves.
The office pool chuckled quietly as Sarutobi-sama muttered a comment about flighty shinobi and settled back into his paperwork.
Nishimoto-san spoke, very quietly. "We should use this power responsibly."
"We probably won't." Takada-san said with unconcerned confidence, flopping back down into his chair. "We never do."
Regina felt mildly reinvigorated after inflicting chaos upon the populace, so when she picked the boys up from school, she carted them directly out for a "treat yourself" day.
"Why are we doing this again?" Sasuke asked somewhat cautiously, as she held up an outfit in front of him.
'Nah, I hate these shorts.' She put them back on the rack.
"Do we need a reason to be nice to ourselves and each other?" She asked airily, eyeing a very adorable outfit that would make him look like the grumpy businessman he seemed to long to be.
'So cute.'
"No!" Naruto bounced out of a changing room wearing what was apparently everything in the store that had caught his eye. "It's treat yourself day, Sasuke-kun. Get with the program!" He grinned.
Sasuke huffed, but he definitely looked amused.
"Anything you want, Sasuke?" Regina asked, feeling herself begin to grin as well. "Otherwise, I just pick out whatever outfits I think would look cutest on you."
His eyes widened. "No more sailor suits!" Then he ducked under the sales rack and into the next section. "I want a nice yukata."
"Good plan." She approved. "Your other one is looking small after your growth spurt, you're right."
Naruto had not had a corresponding growth spurt, a fact which they were all not acknowledging. As a family. His body's continued insistence on being 'short, small' was a sore spot for him.
"Naruto will need a new one too, for next summer." She said consideringly.
"Anything else?" Regina picked up the sailor suit and felt a wave of grumpiness reach her. "What? You look so cute in them." She defended herself.
"...I do." Sasuke pouted. "But I only want one at a time. You can get me one more after the ones I have don't fit."
'He's such a little dictator and I love it.'
She put the suit back.
"Onsen?" She asked. "After this."
"I want dinner first." Naruto mewled. "Can we have yakiniku?"
Suddenly two sharp pairs of eyes were on her. 'When did Sasuke get in front of me?'
"It's treat yourself day." Sasuke said, with a pleasant smile. "Or so I heard."
'They're terrifying.' She marvelled. Naruto had literally popped into existence on her leg and was looking up with his biggest puppy eyes. 'Perhaps I am truly great at parenting. Or that ninja school thing is worth the tuition.'
"You heard right, Sasuke-kun!" She chirped. "Yakiniku it is."
They paid for their purchases and went right to Yakiniku Q with their bags.
Sasuke and Naruto were doing their 'nudging each other gradually behind her back' fighting when she opened the door and walked in.
There was a nice heat to the main area of the restaurant, and the scent of meat wafting through the air.
'Smells like home.'
Then she noted that restaurant seemed a little off. She looked around.
No one was looking at them, but… suddenly, no one was talking, either. She kept the real smile frozen on her face, though it felt increasingly strained.
The proprietor saw her quickly enough and smiled, beckoning them to a private room.
'That's… not right. She usually seats us out in the regular restaurant.'
The private room she led them to was familiar.
'For some reason, I almost expected Jiraiya to be in it. Or Momo. Or Shizune.'
This time, she was flanked by decidedly less intimidating shinobi guards, if the boys could even be called that.
She took what had been the Sandaime's seat and beckoned the boys to sit by her on opposite sides of the table.
The restaurant's ambient noise kicked up again after the door shut.
"What was that?" Naruto asked, looking miffed. "Our table was empty."
Sasuke just gave him a scrutinizing look. "They don't like us, idiot."
"Don't call him an idiot." Regina scolded. "He's not, and it's mean. Naruto-kun was just asking a question."
She did not have the gall to lie to them both and correct his statement.
"Huh." Naruto sniffed before picking up the menu, in what seemed to be his usual way of misdirecting his hurt.
'That wasn't about Sasuke. Poor thing probably thinks the problem is him.'
"Try not to worry about it." Regina said while patting Naruto's shoulder, aware that that was probably insufficient. "I'll take care of it."
When she turned back to look at Sasuke, he was staring at her. No, examining.
"You seem tired." He said, in a childish attempt at a probing statement.
"Not more than usual." She lied with a smile, reaching out to him. He bent his head and she rubbed at his scalp. "Now, we should wash our hands and order."
'He's a pretty sharp kid.' she thought, with a sting of regret. 'I wonder what else he's been noticing.'
The mood picked up when the proprietor came back with a stack of meat and vegetables, and Regina gamely pretended to burn all their food.
"No." Sasuke rebuked, little face serious. "Can I try? That's not right."
She handed over the tongs and let them bicker it out until they got tired. When they were good and sleepy, she cashed out their bill and led them past the people who were definitely (not) staring at them.
They relaxed in the rotenburo together, enjoying the dying sunlight.
"Kaa-chan, you have to leave soon, right?" Sasuke arm-walked over to her, letting his legs drift in the hot onsen water.
"Yes." She confirmed, leaning back and looking up at the sky. "To a meeting, then to chadou."
"Ewwwww." Naruto whined.
Sasuke just gave him a look. "Our bed time is soon anyway, Naruto-kun."
"Betrayer." Naruto muttered. "You'd never let me stay up late no matter what."
Sasuke seemed to find this a complimentary view of his character, just smirking. "I'm good at being in charge."
"Oyyoo." Regina got their attention, starting to sit up. "I'm in charge in this house. But Sasuke, make sure you get to bed on time. Naruto, you need to do that yourself, too. I'll have Ikemoto-san check on you. Homework gets done, you get in bed. Understood?"
"Understood." they chorused.
She stood up, feeling a chill as the hot water rushed off her shoulders and back into the pool.
"I'm going to go get dressed and go- don't stay out here too long." She told them, as they splashed water around.
"Okay!"
She left them there and padded back up the decking to the dressing room, rushing to get her yukata back on and get her long hair blow-dried.
'Ugh. Should have remembered it takes an hour to get all my hair dry when I decided to add onsen before a meeting with Shishou.'
She eyed the grandfather clock in the powder room adjacent. 'I don't have that kind of time. Woe. Woe is me.'
So she towelled her hair carefully, got her roots and gave the rest a quick shot with the blow dryer before braiding it up on top of her head. Then she got dressed, snagged her finished assignments, and shot out the door.
Danzou-shishou was sitting on a chair in his house, reading some papers. The whole house was dark and weirdly blank, but she was coming to appreciate his particular approach to minimalism.
She bowed and briefed him on the dossiers he'd provided at their last meeting.
"You've done well with memorizing so far, Rejina-hime." her shishou said dismissively. "But how will you perform under pressure?"
'This whole thing has been under immense pressure.' She thought rather mutinously.
"I will do my best to earn your approval, shishou." That was honest.
He hummed. "We will see. I am informed that you will have the opportunity soon. Be ready. And remember- I am not to be connected with you in any way."
She kept her mouth shut. 'I don't know if you just don't want to tie me to you in case I fail. But it gives me hives. It's just weird to take an apprentice and make it secret.'
"Rejina-hime." The tone of his voice made it clear that they were switching topics of conversation. "You have been studying Konoha's economy, is that correct?"
"Yes, shishou." She confirmed. It was boring work. Most of her work was tedious in at least some way.
He looked off into the distance and pursed his mouth. "What sector has the most room for growth, would you say?"
She weighed that up in her head. It wasn't confidential information whatsoever. But it was odd for him to ask her anything in a professional capacity. Was it a test to see how aware she was?
'Try as I might, I can't find the harm in it though.'
"Agriculture for export." She said simply. At his look, she continued. "We have many advantages in this area due to geography, but a lack of farmers to support large-scale export. Import of foreign goods is also needed, but there are travelling merchants already providing this service."
He grunted and stood up on his cane. "Good. That is all."
She took the dismissal for what it was, rising after he did and bowing before fleeing back home with her dossiers in hand.
Regina had managed to survive the last few classes after the gossip hit the mill, but tea ceremony class tonight was going to be a new circle of hell. She just didn't have the energy for manufacturing a veneer of unbotheredness anymore- the constant strain was wearing down her reserves. She just felt constantly exhausted.
But Regina showed, followed instructions, and she tried to keep her head high as the other women in the room looked at her with varying degrees of unfriendliness. It would be worse to change her patterns. She was in survival mode now.
Hyuuga-san was looking particularly proud and haughty lately. She looked at Regina like one might look at a fresh dog turd, nose back and squinted eyes. Then her lip curled, and she looked away.
Regina just looked at her work station. She didn't move or respond.
"Rejina-hime, are you all right?" Gai asked, sounding concerned.
She smiled at him. It was genuine, but sapped of any real energy. Her energy mostly went to grinding out work and walling up her emotions to keep from total fallout. She didn't have any extra for people she actually liked.
"I'm fine, Gai-san. Thank you." She lied.
He didn't buy it. That much was obvious. He put a flower into a basket.
The brief for today was incredibly detailed, but Regina didn't try to creatively interpret her assignment. She did the 'done' thing, filled it out to a T, and sat down.
'I feel like I'm looking at everything from under water.' She noted, writing the same three comments for every single display.
Class let out, and Mitarashi-san bumped her on her way out of the building. It didn't feel like it was meant to be threatening, but it sent Regina over the edge.
Her eyes welled up with tears. She forced them down, and looked down at her shoes in the genkan. She put them on deliberately, and walked outside with her head held high. Then she just kept walking back home.
'I'll take a bath, go to bed, and try to get that next dossier memorized before work.' Danzou-sama was upping the pace- she was now in notable Fire Country people three at a time. She was memorizing nobles and Jounin right now.
She noted that Gai-san was following her, though. So she stopped.
"Rejina-hime." His voice was quiet. "Are you sure you're all right?"
'I'm quite sure I'm not, but we're in public. I don't dare say boo out here. I categorically refuse to make this worse.'
She gave him the same tight little smile she'd been dishing out to people in the office.
"Ah." He stepped up to her side, and kept pace as she walked back home. The boys were probably asleep, and Ikemoto-san was likely in bed as well. At least she didn't look at Regina like she was garbage. "Shall I walk you home?"
"That would be lovely, thank you."
They walked in silence, out past the ever-creepy Uchiha complex and to her gate. She welcomed Gai in past the walls and into the house.
Once they were inside, she stared at her own home.
'I don't even know what to do right now. This is the first time I've had a guest in here, and I am just… lost as a person right now. To be honest, I wouldn't have invited anyone else. I really don't want people thinking about this house right now. No one has brought it up, but that would probably make it worse.'
"Rejina-hime, are you thirsty?" Gai asked, evidently papering over the holes in the conversation that she was leaving.
She nodded.
"Um, the kitchen is… over here." She led him past the waiting room and into the spacious kitchen. "We have tea, some drinks in the fridge… there's water."
"I might make some tea, if that's all right." Gai filled the kettle with water. "What do you think, barley? I feel tired of matcha at the moment."
"Barley sounds wonderful." She went to the cupboards and pulled out the teapot, two cups, and the teabags in their jar. "Should we drink it in the living room? It's upstairs, though."
"That's fine, good idea."
She got the cups out and put them on the table upstairs. Regina noted that the television was still warm, which meant that someone had probably turned it off and fled when they heard her at the door. Whether it was one of the boys or Ikemoto-san, it was hard to say.
Gai brought out the tea a few minutes later, and they settled on the zabuton on the floor.
"If you don't mind my asking," Gai started out, sounding a little awkward.
"I don't mind at all, Gai-san." She said, feeling tired. "I'm not doing well. It's ok. I'm glad that you asked."
He nodded.
"Sasuke-kun says that you are particularly stressed as of late." He picked up his teacup. "And I have heard other things."
She grunted. "About?"
He didn't say.
She sighed. "The clan leaders have noted that my position is a result of nepotism. They are understandably upset about this." Regina looked down into her cup and smelled the scent wafting up. "They're right. It doesn't make it hurt any less."
Gai was silent. He drank some of his tea.
"Other people in the village are also upset about this, for good reason." She added miserably. "And there's no way out. I'm not a shinobi, so they're doubly upset that I don't have that experience or obligation."
She set down her tea.
"I've just been trying to do a perfect job. I had hoped that it wouldn't affect the boys. They don't deserve that."
"You don't seem to have lobbied for these things, either." Gai pointed out. "Tsunade-hime said as much."
'That's true. Glad it was Gai that went with me. Someone else might have brought that into the narrative by now.'
"What are your options?" He asked, trying to sound more positive. It didn't quite work.
She pursed her lips. "Um. Not a large variety. I can't leave the country- I have the boys, and abandoning the job they think I don't deserve would look worse. Being incompetent at the job would also be bad. The only way I can see through is being indisputably good at it, to the point that they eventually leave me alone."
"That does seem like the only route." He agreed, swirling the tea in his teacup. "How are you feeling?"
'Should I be honest?' She looked at him. 'Probably. Gai isn't likely feigning this interest in my personal well-being, and hasn't thrown me under the bus even a little.'
"Depressed." She said, sighing. "Anxious- my entire existence here is being questioned, and I feel like I can't make any mistakes. I spend every waking minute of my life studying or working or helping the boys. Naruto is having problems at school, Sasuke is doing as well as can be expected but needs personal attention. Everyone at work doubts my basic abilities, and I get glared at on the street."
She chugged the tea. She didn't want to look at Gai right now.
"Thank you for asking." She said again. It felt just a little bit less terrible to tell someone. It didn't make it all better, but at least Gai probably wasn't glaring at her.
"How is the work?" He asked. "I have heard from others that your work is very thorough. My Rival was suitably impressed. He told the Jounin about your skills in our mandatory weekly meeting."
'Hatake-san is… really kind, actually. He didn't have to do that. Maybe I should lie to him slightly less.'
She refilled her tea. She didn't even want it.
"Busy." She admitted. "There's always so much to do. I mostly do the budget paperwork and approvals, plus my projects."
"Projects?" he asked.
"Redesigning and implementing the police force, adding new requirements for ANBU personnel active duty and retirement, and whatever else the Hokage throws at me." She took a sip. "There's always something new- right now it's massive overwork and resulting stress on Jounin personnel."
Gai looked at her long enough that she knew she had to look back, so she did. He was examining her face. For what, she didn't know. And she was too tired to hide anything.
"It sounds as if you are doing an excellent job, Rejina-hime." He said resolutely. "I believe that you should continue."
'Thanks, Gai. I mean, I have no other options but death or something, but it's good to have your support.'
"Thank you." She said simply.
He looked down, and refilled her cup to the brim. She huffed.
"Have I told you about my father, Rejina-hime?" he asked. "He was known as the 'Eternal Genin.'"
After an hour, Gai left. She felt substantially better- though she hadn't really been ready to hear that Gai's father- and Gai, by extension- had basically been on the end of a decades-long village-wide bullying campaign. Something he said had also hinted that Hatake-san had been on the bad end of one, as well, which made his interest in hers make some more sense.
'And I now know why he was so touched that I would ask for his help when I met him. People really have treated Gai like shit.'
She crawled into the bath and into bed, hoping for a better day tomorrow.
'If he got through that alive, I can too. It'll be okay.'