Tumblr Prompt: Ahsoka and Kanan 'Couched'

A.N: Timeline setting: Some time after 'To Take Down An Emperor'

Side note: This prompt was sent to me on Tumblr. It ended up at 3000+ words though, so I thought I'd upload it here as well as a one shot for all to see. Enjoy

"Oh come on Hera! It was just a small mission! Ahsoka needed my help!"

The only response Kanan got was the slamming of a door in his face, one that narrowly missed impacting his nose in the process. Kanan supposed that at least was lucky. Dealing with both a pissed off wife and a broken nose was not something he needed right now.

Sighing to himself, Kanan turned on his heel and allowed the Force to guide him. He may not be able to see with his eyes anymore, but he still knew his way around places he was familiar with. The hallway leading from the spare bedroom in the Tano-Larte residence was no different.

It had started out innocently enough. Both Kanan and Hera had decided to pay Ahsoka and Kaeden a visit for their monthly catch up. As the only other couple they really knew and enjoyed spending time with, it had become something of a tradition to visit the apartment in the middle of the fields of Alderaan's moon.

At first it had gone well. The four had caught up, traded stories, and even played a round of Sabacc with each other. Kaeden had somehow won, a feat that had astonished the two Force users in the room.

And then that damn bird had arrived! Morai, Ahsoka called her.

Kanan had nothing against the bird personally. In fact, he loved animals.

Morai however had not been nice that day. Upon arrival she had dropped a small holorecorder onto the table in the middle of the seventh round of Sabacc, one with a recorded message from Maul.

That one message had opened up a can of worms for both Ahsoka and Kanan. Maul had proceeded to thank them both for their help in investigating a Sith Temple, and thwarting a Sith cult from rising again.

Naturally, both Hera and Kaeden had been furious. They had demanded to know why they hadn't been told about the mission and what it entailed. They had demanded to know why they hadn't thought it wise to inform their partners of the possible dangers.

And then, stupidly, Ahsoka had said that they didn't want to worry them, and that it wasn't really all that dangerous in the first place!

Kaeden had stormed out at that point, disappearing up stairs with a distraught Togruta pursuing her.

Hera meanwhile had thrown her drink at Kanan, before retreating upstairs to the spare bedroom, but not before banishing him from the bed for the night.

So now Kanan found himself heading back down the stairs alone, without any company for the night.

Still, it could be worse. At least he'd have a semi decent place to sleep.

Or so he thought.

Upon entering the living room of Ahsoka's apartment he sensed the presence of the Togruta herself, as well as heard her quiet mumbling to herself. The Force projected an image of the Togrutan woman, curled up on the couch, the very same couch he had intended to make his bed for the night.

Realizing what had happened, Kanan sighed and spoke.

"You too huh?"

"Yep." Came the reply from Ahsoka, before she turned over and sat up, hands resting on her head. Her signature in the Force was one of deep distraught. Clearly Kaeden wasn't happy with her if she too had been banished to the couch, and Ahsoka being Ahsoka, she was taking it very badly.

Moving over to sit next to her, Kanan wrapped an arm around Ahsoka's shoulders, offering what comfort he could. He knew this feeling well.

"We should have told them, shouldn't we?"

"Probably, though if we had done they'd only insisted on coming along too, and we both know that's exactly what we were trying to prevent." Kanan replied to Ahsoka question, recalling their discussion before heading off on the mission in the first place. They hadn't wanted Kaeden or Hera to worry about them as they so often did. It wasn't like they were going alone after all. They had each other, and Maul, to watch their backs.

Besides, Sith Temples were not the sort of place either Kanan or Ahsoka wanted their partners visiting.

Still, it had resulted in both of them being banished to the couch, so now they would have to make the most of it.

Patting the Togruta on the back, Kanan rose from beside her and moved over to a nearby cupboard in the kitchen, the Force guiding him all the way, painting the image before him as he moved. Upon reaching the cupboard he sought, Kanan opened the door, moving his hand inside to extract a tall bottle of wine that Kanan himself had gifted Ahsoka for her lifeday. Now seemed like a good time to open and share it.

Returning to the couch with wine bottle in one hand and two glasses in the other, Kanan sat back down beside Ahsoka, placing both glasses down on the table before the couch and pouring them a glass of wine each.

"Thanks." Came Ahsoka's response as she reached forward and picked up her glass, downing the entire contents in one gulp.

"Might want to slow down there buddy. You don't exactly handle your drink well from what I remember." Kanan spoke, reaching a hand out to stop Ahsoka from pouring herself a second glass.

"Why the kriff not. I can't do anything right it seems. May as well just sit back and accept my fate. Not like anyone would miss me if I died of liver failure after all is it?"

Despite his lack of vision, Kanan's eyes widened in surprise at Ahsoka's words. Did the Togruta really think that no one cared for her? Had Kaeden banishing her to the couch had such a profound effect on her that she was contemplating drinking herself to death?!

Kanan knew from personal experience just how dangerous a mindset that was. He had once been nothing but a drunken outcast, grieving over the loss of his Master and the betrayal of the Clones he had called his friends. What Ahsoka was going through was different, but at the same time much the same. She had, in her mind, tried to protect Kaeden.

And Kaeden had responded harshly, kicking her out of her own bed. Ahsoka owned the apartment after all. If anyone should have left it should of been Kaeden.

But she hadn't left. Kaeden could have very well packed her bags. Instead, she had chosen to stay, albeit separate from her partner for the night, but she was still here.

"Perhaps I should have just stayed behind when the Death Star exploded. Everyone knows I've got darkness inside of me. Safer for you all if I hadn't come back really. Or maybe I should have just let Vader kill me on Malachor."

"Ok, that's enough of that." Kanan interrupted, keeping his voice steady, even with the heartbreak he was currently feeling. How could Ahsoka even think like that? It was only a small argument that had happened. Nothing worth contemplating one's own mortality.

Oh perhaps there was something more. Ahsoka had always kept her cards close to her chest. She didn't reveal anything she didn't want or need to. If Kanan were to guess, Ahsoka had likely been carrying around some inner guilt or self hatred for years over what had happened.

And now that she was at one of the lowest points he had ever seen her, it was all coming out.

Kanan was just glad that he was the one to receive it. He understood better than anyone else what it meant to be lost.

"Enough of what!" Ahsoka spat in reply, pushing aside Kanan's hand and grabbing the bottle of wine again, pouring a second glass and consuming it equally as quick as the first one.

"Thinking you're not worth something Ahsoka. I know better than most what that feels like, and I sympathise with you I do. I could say many things about how you are being ridiculous or pathetic and a coward, but none of those would help, nor would any false pleasantries that people so often pass around about feeling sorry for you and understanding that you need some time. None of those help in my experience."

"So what does Caleb!" Ahsok spat again, using Kanan's previous name in an obvious attempt to anger him. It didn't work. As far as he was concerned, Ahsoka was one of two people allowed to use that name in private. The other was naturally Hera, but the Twi'lek refused.

"Well, slowing down on the wine would help first Ahsoka." Kanan replied, taking a gentle sip of his own drink in the process before continuing. "All you need to know is that if for some reason someone decided to harm even a single metaphorical hair on your body, they would very quickly become public enemy number one with lots of people in this universe. Kaeden, Maul, Obi-Wan, Ezra, myself and Hera, hell, even Hondo would hunt down whoever so much as hurt you to the end of the galaxy, or even to the end of other galaxies and make them suffer, just as you would do for us."

"And what if it's not someone hurting me physically? How do you make a mental state suffer?" Ahsoka replied, her voice quieter now, bordering on tears.

"I'll admit that's one of the hardest fights out of all of them. Seriously they make facing Sidious seem like a simple levitation trick."

Kanan's response got a small chuckle out of the Togruta, for which Kanan was glad. Just that alone proved that Ahsoka was fighting against whatever mental stress she was suffering through.

"In all seriousness though, all you can do is take it one day at a time. Every time you make it to the end of one day, you've beaten whatever mental stress you have. The more you do that, the less of a grasp it will have over you, no matter how many times it tries to come back in whatever form it pleases."

Ahsoka nodded her head slowly, her signature in the Force calming from the rapturous storm it had been moments earlier, understanding settling in.

"So, you don't think Kaeden's gonna leave me?" Again, Ahsoka's voice was timid and on the edge of tears.

And once again, Kanan knew exactly how she felt. He too had wondered in the past if Hera would just abandon him after an argument. He had over time realized that she would never do such a thing, and if Kanan knew Kaeden well enough, he knew that she too would never leave Ahsoka.

And if she did…

"She won't leave you Ahsoka… and if for some selfish reason she did, then once again, we'd all hunt her down and make her pay. No one stabs our friend in the back and gets away with it."

Kanan's comment was meant to appear as a jest, something that again Ahsoka chuckled at, a grateful smile coming to her face. Despite that, Kanan knew full well that part of his comment was not a jest. If anyone ever dared hurt his hero… well…

Nothing would stop him from avenging her.

"Thanks Kanan. I'll try not to let it get me down anymore. I just…" Ahsoka began to speak again, her tone more stable this time, yet still shaky.

"It's hard, I know. You don't need to explain yourself to me Ahsoka. Just know that I'm always up for a chat if need be." Kanan interrupted, finishing Ahsoka's word for her. She needn't struggle anymore than she currently was.

"Yeah.. ok. Thanks buddy."

"Anytime buddy."

Hours passed by with both members of the 'couched' squad finding little to do but talk. Both of their minds were too occupied to sleep.

The bottle of wine had slowly been consumed more through the night. Upon realizing how quickly she had drunk her first two glasses, Ahsoka had promptly slowed down, drinking her third one at a much slower pace.

As it turned out, that third drink had been her last. Kanan had gone on the drink the rest of the wine by himself, bringing his total to five glasses, a feat that also led to the bottle being completely empty.

In the end, both had dozed off, Ahsoka curled up on the couch as before, whilst Kanan took to the large armchair. It hadn't been the most comfortable night of his life, but it could have been worse.

Waking up to a slight headache from the alcohol, Kanan's first thoughts were to the sounds of movement in the kitchen. Widening his already partially dulled senses, Kanan reached out with the Force to find Ahsoka, up and on the move, preparing what looked like a breakfast for the four of them.

Rising from his chair, Kanan called out to Ahsoka.

"Hey? You doing ok after last night? Hold your alcohol alright?"

"Yeah, surprisingly, just a minor headache. How about you?" Ahsoka responded, shooting him a smile that Kanan could see through the Force in the process.

"Same here. Making something nice?"

"Yeah. Figured it'd be a nice apology for them both. I did drag you along on that mission after all."

"Quit blaming yourself Ahsoka. I volunteered to help."

"Maybe. But thanks again for last night."

Sending a rush of support through the Force to Ahsoka, Kanan moved towards the table where the empty wine glasses and bottle still stood.

However, upon reaching down to pick them up and move them to be washed, an aggravated voice echoed throughout the room.

"Are you kidding me! We kick the two of you out for the night for a damn good reason, and you come down here and drink alcohol all night! I bet the two of you were laughing at us all kriffing night!"

"Kaeden I… it's not…"

"No… it's exactly how it looks Ahsoka! Don't think your coming back to bed tonight! And don't think making a breakfast is gonna make up for it either!"

The anger in Kaeden's voice was shocking, so much so that even Hera, who had entered behind the human woman now had a complete look of surprise on her face.

Hera's reaction however, nor Kaeden's anger were what Kanan was focusing on. Instead, all his attention was directed towards Ahsoka, and they way he felt her spirits shatter, instantly undoing all the repair he had helped her achieve the previous night.

"Ahso…."

Kanan barely got two syllables into her name before a loud crash echoed throughout the apartment, the shattering of plates following it.

Self hatred had overtaken the Togruta, resulting in her flipping all of the pots and pans she had prepared food with over onto the floor, several plates following them and breaking into many sharp pieces. It occurred to Kanan in that moment that Ahsoka was barefooted and surrounded by various sharp objects that would easily puncture skin.

"Oh yeah, real mature Ahsoka. Just can't accept the fact that your wrong."

Kanan flinched at the harshness of the words that left Kaeden's mouth, knowing in that moment it was the wrong thing to say to the Togruta who was suffering.

Ahsoka's response was exactly what Kanan expected it would be. The Togruta huffed before moving across the kitchen, stepping on sharp fragments of broken plates in the process without a care in the world, likely slicing into the skin in the process.

The Togruta stormed through the room, past Kaeden and Hera, ignoring both of them in the process, before heading out into the hallway and out of sight.

The only indication of where Ahsoka had gone that Kanan got was the loud slam of the front door, followed by the slamming down of mental shields in his mind, blocking everything and everyone out.

In that moment, anger roused within Kanan. He had told Ahsoka last night what he would do to anyone who messed with her. Kaeden was no exception.

"What the hell is wrong with you!" Kanan boomed across the room, turning all her attention to Kaeden, who looked back at him with shock.

"What?" Came Kaeden's response, clearly not understanding why Kanan was so angry at her. She would regret that.

"That! You know for a qualified Doctor you certainly suck at figuring some things out!"

"Excuse me!"

"Kanan?"

Kaeden's own anger was directed at Kanan now, whilst Hera was watching with deep concern.

But Kanan didn't care. He would make Kaeden see just how wrong she was, and just how fragile Ahsoka currently was.

"The sole reason we didn't tell you about the mission was because we didn't want to worry the two of you! However, instead of having faith in us, the pair of you reacted instead with anger rather than understanding! Hera I can understand, that's the sort of relationship we have! But you Kaeden?! Are you even aware of the effect your reaction had on Ahsoka!"

"What are you saying Kanan?" Hera's soft voice responded for Kaeden, the dark skinned woman currently stunned at the way the normally calm and serene blind Jedi was outright shouting at her.

Pushing himself on, Kanan continued.

"Your girlfriend is suffering Kaeden! She thinks that your gonna leave her over this! Hell I wouldn't be surprised if that was always on her mind! That wine last night? You know what she told me! She said it would have been better if we had left her on the Death Star when it exploded. Or how she wished that Vader had killed her on Malachor! Ahsoka is afraid of her own self! She's afraid to lose what she has! And by shouting at her and blaming her for trying to keep you safe all you have done if fulfill all of those dark thoughts that Ahsoka is currently having!"

Kaeden face fell in an instant, realization setting in to her. She understood now.

But Kanan wasn't done.

"If you want to keep her by your side Kaeden you need to get out there and find her before it's too late. Ahsoka was a Rebel Spymaster for years after all. She's an expert at disappearing! Do you want that to happen?"

"No! I… kriff!"

"Kriff indeed! Let me make one thing clear for you Kaeden! Rex… Maul… hell even Leia… they'd all seek to punish you if you dared harm Ahsoka. But compared to them, anything I would do would be ten times worse. No one, and I mean no one, harms Ahsoka on my watch! Now… get out there and find your girlfriend before I think of something else to say!"

With that Kaeden nodded, turning and sprinting out of the doorway, her voice calling for Ahsoka in the distance.

Taking a deep breath, Kanan calmed himself down, centring himself in the Force once more.

"Are you ok?" Hera's soft voice was quite the contrast to Kanan's shouting only seconds before, and was a welcome sound to Kanan's ears.

"Yeah.. yeah I'm fine. Ahsoka just told me some things last night that reminded me of, well, me. I wanted to help her, so we pretty much just stayed up all night talking. The wine was just there as something to do. I thought I was getting through, but then Kaeden came down and…"

"And she upset Ahsoka without realizing what it was all about, I understand."

"Do you think they'll be ok?" Kanan asked, unsure for the first time in several hours. Around Ahsoka he had to be the strong one for now.

Around Hera however Kanan could reveal his true feelings. He was worried for Ahsoka. She deserved to be happy.

"They'll be fine, especially now that Kaeden knows how Ahsoka is feeling."

"Yeah… I hope so." Kanan replied, moving over to the kitchen to begin picking up the various broken pieces of plate.

A few moments passed by before Hera spoke again, this time her voice sounding slightly annoyed.

"Hang on a minute! Is this the bottle of wine you got Ahsoka for her lifeday to share with us! You two drank it all by yourselves!"

"Um… yes?"

"... you know your still banished to the couch for this right? Can't believe you didn't wait for me or Kaeden to have some too!"

Sighing to himself, a smirk coming to his face in the process, Kanan replied.

"Yeah… I know."

Author's thoughts

So... as I said above this one shot wasn't originally a one shot. I got an ask for a prompt about Ahsoka and Kanan getting kicked out of bed by their other halves and spending the night drinking instead, and it turned into this! Oops! It was supposed to be short.

Anyways it worked well with an idea I've had for a while but never got round to writing. I wanted to explore the darker side of Ahsoka's mental state post suicide mission. With the stuff she's been through is it any wonder she struggles with her inner darkness and emotions? By comparing her to Kanan, who too has had similar experiences in the past, I was hopefully able to show just what an effect a weakened mental state can have on someone who usually appears so strong. Ahsoka is by no means a manic depressant, and there are people who suffer worse in the galaxy, but all it took was one moment for the dam to break and her self loathing to come out much of which likely stems from her actions on Malachor.

Either way I hoped you liked it. I shall be taking a bit of a break for a bit now, with both this story and Agent of the Chancellor. I need some time to do my own mental healing, much like Ahsoka and Kanan really.

No idea what the next one shot will be. Guess only time will tell.

As usual, comment and speculate at will. Speaking of which:

Erukat: Thanks... I'm glad you enjoyed them... even if they were all for nothing in the end it seems. So much for the repair job.
Getting their relationship just right was a challenge, so I'm glad you liked the ride. Hopefully this chapter doesn't undermine what was built up too much.
And yeah, my inspiration and motivation isn't completely gone yet, it's just taken a major hit, hence the break. Hopefully I will be back sooner rather than later though.

FossilQueen1984: Hey. Long time no see. Don't worry about no reviews from you. I don't mind.
Glad you enjoyed the Kaesoka fluff. It was great fun to write and expand upon their relationship.

Ashla07: Those are some pretty nice choices you've made there. Nice work. Thanks for answering. XD