What can i say? I like my romantic drama. And asshole parental drama apparently. And Izuru-being-the-brother-drama...

(Jesus am i becoming predictable? Shoot me.)

Also i generated the Komaeda and Hinata parents names. Of course genius me, who's terrified of making up a Japanese name that means something inappropriate/weird/ect, doesn't look at their name meanings until after i've picked them.

I like my first person asshole Hajime to much, send help.

Personal crisis aside, enjoy the chapter!

BEGINNING OF CHAPTER:

"Are you sure you want to do this Hajime?"

"Of course. I'm sad this is the way things have to be, but they've left me no other choice."

"Huh... well well look at you being the big strong man, standing up for yourself."

"So are you in?"

"Pff, of course."

... ...

So, yes, hello. As you might have guessed this is me, Hajime.

Let me first just say that no, there's no drugs or any sort of illegal shit going on here, as dramatic as it sounds.

Well, unless you ask my parents, that is. But fuck them.

Ah, but of course you'll need context for that too.

So, unfortunately, i'm going to have to do what every media creator under the sun has had to do since the beginning of storytelling...

THREE YEARS AGO:

That's right, I'm going to have to take you back to the beginning. A flashback, if you will. And yes, I promise this is a relevant flashback to the story at hand.

So...

I was working at a restaurant, fairly high class, yet somehow affordable. Which is how I came upon the open job vacancy when I went there previously. Anyway, not the point.

So. One day I get word that the owners of the chain I worked at were going to personally come in to see the place. Naturally, were all in a frenzy, because oh my god this is the owners for fuck's sake. Not the manager, not his boss, but the owners of the whole damn restaurant chain. So of course this is both the best and worst news in the world. Apparently, i found out later that most times they send people out to their restaurants, but others...

Well anyway. So, this boy comes in, pale as all hell but legs that ran for a damn mile as far as my gay-ass heart was concerned. And of course i'm the lucky (no matter what the looks on my coworker's faces said) one that got to seat this cute specimen of a human being.

He says he's here for a table of three, a dinner with his parents right? Well goddammit didn't my sarcastic heart just melt. Anyway he's paying, so the best seat in the house for his folks. And i absolutely have no problem of seeing to this boy's every need while he's here.

It seems my co-workers were a little too happy to let me take the lead with this one, didn't know why, but shit i was going to make the most of it. This beautiful man wants the best service? Then by god he's damn well going to get it.

And yes, i can hear myself, thank you very much.

At this point, i hadn't known his name. Didn't ask, he didn't provide. I guess at least i get to look at him while he's here. And yes i heard that to. He did ask if i recognised him as a regular, and he seemed entirely to amused when i said no and i was new. Wonder why, but oh well, i still say he's cute.

Says his parents are going to be a little late, so of course act-before-i-think Hajime Hinata just has to go and jokingly ask is he wants my company until they arrive.

Oh, oh my god. He said yes? He... said yes? Shit, oh shit i didn't actually plan this far. Do i sit now? Do i ask if he's sure? Is it more rude to stare and ignore him? Shit i don't know.

"Of course i'm sure!"

Jesus christ he's psycic.

Is that better or worse? I don't know. Do i care? No.

"You looked a bit confused, were you not sure i'd say yes? You look like a nice boy, i'd love the company."

Holy hell marry me.

Yes goddamit i hear myself!

And despite my awkward flirting attempts, he seemed to not only laugh at my good-god-kill-me-now jokes, but he's responding back? He's flirting with me too?

Okay, okay, holy shit, do not panic. Do. Not. Panic. For the love of god do not blow this.

He looks at something over my shoulder, i had this fleeting second of 'did i do something wrong?'. Even if i knew logically i hadn't (hopefully) done anything to offend him. I think a frown would fucking kill me right now.

"You guys are finally here!"

Oh his parents? I can't say i wasn't curious about them. What did they look like i wonder?

I turn...

And have a pleasant sm-

Heart attack of the goddamn century.

Oh no. Oh sweet ever loving jesus no. Good christ whatever deity is out there please for the love of fuck tell me no.

"Made a new friend Nagito?"

Nagito?

Nagito.

On the wall.

This is the couple on the fucking wall.

Komaeda.

Yes.

You heard me.

Goddamn fucking Komaeda.

Would you like to know what the whole title on the picture frame says?

Would you?

'Komaeda family, owners.'

Fucking owners!

Oh no.

Oh holy mother of fuck no.

This means...

This means this kid in front of me... this kid in front of me... Komaeda... Nagito? Oh fuck me do you know what this means? Do any of you know why i'm having a fucking meltdown right now?

He's... he's their goddamn son. Those are his parents.

The Komaedas are his parents.

I just flirted with the owners son.

Their son!

I vaguely knew the Komaeda couple had a son roughly my age, heard a few bits and pieces in the short time i was working here. But until this mindblowing revelation, i'd never seen what he looked like.

The one time i flirt with this beautiful mystery man... and it's the fucking chain owners son.

I'm having a fucking crisis.

Logically, i knew i was overreacting probably, but logic wasn't exactly a factor in this moment.

The. Fucking. Owners. Son!

That was pretty much all i could compute right now.

Those bastards, of course this is why the others were too happy to let me serve him. Those fucking traitors.

"Of course mother, this is Hajime. He recently started work here."

I don't think i've stood up faster in my life.

"It's a pleasure to meet you ma'am."

I wasn't sure wether to shake her hand or not, but she stuck her hand out before i could hesitate to long, bless her.

"It's nice to see Nagito making friends my dear, it's lovely to meet you."

I'm... not being yelled at for sitting on the job? I mean probably because i was with their son, okay no matter, do not look this gift horse in the fucking mouth.

Nagito had stood up to greet his mother as well, so i stepped back to give them space.

"Excuse me young man."

Oh no. Was the father going to yell at me? I mean Mrs. Komaeda seemed fairly nice, Mr. Komaeda was hopefully going to be the same?

"Hello, Mr..."

I shook his hand as well. "Hinata, sir. Hajime Hinata."

"Nice to meet you Mr Hinata. Nagito said you work here?"

"Uh, yes sir?"

"I must know, has your time here been acceptable?"

"Father, dont put him on the spot like that. That makes people nervous."

"No, no, it's okay. I've only started recently, but i've enjoyed my work here so far."

Please let that be a good answer. I was processing the fact that i'd not only met the owners and (seemingly) made a good impression, i'd shook their hands and flirted with their son.

Damn this had been a strange work day. I need drinks after this is over.

"That's good to hear. Now i'd like to know, have you finished your shift for tonight?"

"Father!"

"Uh, sir?"

I'm sure i looked confused by the question as i felt.

"Now Nagito, relax, i'd like to meet this boy that you seem so suddenly taken with."

"T-taken?!" I barely heard Nagito in the background.

"Are... are you sure you're okay with this, sir?"

"Of course, Nagito here is a good judge of character, and i trust my boy. So as long as you're okay with this, i'd simply like to ask a little bit about yourself."

The owner of the company you work at wants to meet with you for dinner, what fool says no right? But goddamn if i wasn't more convinced by the look on the stuttering pale face. How fucking adorable does one man get to be?

"I, uh, would love to accept your generous invitation, sir. Thank you." Remember your manners dumbass.

"Nonsense! And while we're all here, call me Naruhito."

"Oh! If this is happening i absolutely insist you call me Miyako young man!"

"Mother!"

"What? I won't have anything less for your new friend."

Ah well, if they're being so nice and welcoming, of course i'm going to put my best foot forward and try to make the best impression possible.

(Especially if i hope to date their son)

I mean... none of you heard that.

Nope.

Never said a word. Don't know what you're...

Oh, who am i fucking kidding.

If i play my cards right here, and make a good impression, i'd love to fucking marry that boy.

Who wouldn't want to date that gorgeous man?

TWO YEARS LATER:

And apparently boys and girls, because here i am some time later, with the most fucking adorable human being as my fiance.

Here's me, young and dumb, in a loving relationship, and like hopefuls the world over i was taking my boyfriend to dinner with my parents. Which I had successfully dodged until now by some miracle.

But...

Here's the thing.

Nagito's parents, right? The most loving, accepting, welcoming parents you could hope to have for (future) in-laws.

But mine?

Oh sweet christ, my parents?

They were, and i'm going to put this bluntly as possible...

Complete fucking assholes.

Uh huh, you heard me right.

Ryuu and Ayane Kamukura were many things. Proud, expectant, wanting what's best for their children in life.

So what's wrong with that picture?

Fucking well then.

Exposition time i guess.

Am i going to tell me a story boys and girls, a sad fucking tale of divorce, terrible parenting and broken dreams.

So from what i gathered from mother's tales of childhood, despite her adamantly saying otherwise she turned out exactly like her own parents. Cold, distant, and not accepting anything less then obedience and perfection.

So i have a younger half-brother, Izuru. By itself that's not a problem, half siblings are more then common in families.

But we have different dads. Again, not the immediate problem.

So mother was originally married to my father, who she doesn't speak much about, and finds it "a pointless waste of time" to discuss him. I know his name and that, aside from maybe a handful of comparisons and complaints over the years, is mostly it. "Worthless Kosuke" i heard her mutter more then once.

Then, god knows how, she found and married Izuru's father. Don't get me wrong i love my brother, but for the life of me i can't figure out how my control freak of a mother found two people that wanted to marry her. Looking back on it, i dislike not knowing my father, but i can't help but think he was right to get away.

Technically Mr Kamukura was not my birth dad, but apparently calling him anything less then was unacceptable.

I did what i could for my brother, read to him, spent time with him, and helped with experiments even if i didnt understand myself most of what was happening.

And that was another thing. Izuru's genius.

I'm proud of him, i am. But i swore to fuck growing up i was sick of hearing how smart he was, how perfect he was, and how goddamn proud they were to "Have a genius boy to make this family proud".

Well shit then. What did that make me?

Guess i had my answer.

So having the sad knowledge that i never was and never will be loved and accepted by my mother and 'father', i got the fuck out of dodge as soon as finished high school. I don't think they even missed me.

Didn't know my father, didn't want to know my mother.

I was well and truly on my own.

And as crushing as that realisation was at the time, i came to accept it. My brother comes and visits me from time to time (whenever he can get away from his parents), i have my own place, and now i have a boyfriend.

So... life was pretty good for me right now.

But then...

But fucking then...

Of course, and i don't know how, the caught wind of the fact i was dating someone. Thank fuck Nagito look fair as he does (and nobody tell him i said that dammit), because they seem to have caught the impression i was dating a girl.

Let's just say they didn't appreciate what wasn't "normal" and leave it at that. Anything that wasn't what they wanted for you wasn't allowed.

And of course, just as i expected.

"What do you mean a boy?!"

"Are you daft?"

And i don't know how it happened, not sure why, but fuck me i'd just had enough of this bullshit. There's only so much you can take with this kind of parenting.

Nagito, that blissfully ignorant man, for some godforsaken reason actually wanted to meet them. And after that disaster warzone of a dinner, i think he fully understood that no i was not exaggerating on how awful my parents were, thank you very fucking much.

And so, after convincing Nagito (you don't want to know exactly what kind of things i had to promise him), i hatched an, admittedly petty, plan.

First of all...

"Hajime you cannot be serious. A dress?"

Oh yes i was.

Second of all...

"Mahiru Koizumi speaking, how can i help you?"

"It's me, Hajime, i need your help with something."

I could only hope Mahiru agreed to help me.

"Are you sure you want to do this Hajime?"

"Of course. I'm sad this is the way things have to be, but they've left me no other choice."

"Huh... well well look at you being the big strong man, standing up for yourself."

"So are you in?"

"Pff, of course. Give me the date and ill be there. You're paying for my hair and dress though."

"Hah, fair enough."

Thank god i had such good friends.

Then, last but not least.

My parents.

I know right, what could i possible be up to? What do i want with a dress, Mahiru, and the parents i'd love to never see again?

Well, we're all about to find out.

It's gonna be fun... For me at least.

We're going back to the present, and goddamn will this be a glorious fucking present.

END OF CHAPTER:

Would you like to know what my biggest crisis this chapter was?

"How the fuck do i spell ma'am"

I actually had to google this, no lie.

Also lets play a game called "How many different ways can i write asshole parents?"

There may or may not be a part two, and if it doesn't happen in this list of prompts it'll be a seperate story.

Cya next chapter :)

Tairulz