The Marauders: solemnly together Chapter 41: The truth, a harry potter fanfic

DISCLAIMER I don't own the wizarding world of Harry Potter

Last time: James suspects Remus has a blood curse because he's ill the same times as his mom. He shared this information with Sirius and Peter, and together they try to figure out which one. Because Remus always disappears during full moons, they realize that Remus' mom is a werewolf.

.:lll:.

The truth

"But she's a muggle. Remus told me himself. Muggles can't be werewolves," Peter said. He couldn't quite wrap his head around what James and Sirius were getting at. It made sense, yet it was hard to believe.

"Maybe it was a cover," James said. "Do any of you know her name? Have you ever actually seen her?" Before saying the next thing, he turned to Sirius. "Can you see on someone if they're a werewolf?"

But the other boy just shrugged. "My parents always just used to say they were monsters, so I imagined… monsters I guess." He frowned. "If they look different, is that why we haven't seen her?"

Peter spoke before James had a chance to answer. "Even so, that doesn't explain why Remus is ill… could he be a werewolf too?"

"Nah, werewolves aren't allowed at Hogwarts," Sirius said. "Maybe if she got bitten, and then had him, some of the wolf-genes was transferred, but not enough to make him one. The same way blood curses work."

"We'll have to look into that." James closed to book and was ready to begin searching again.

"More research?" Peter groaned. "It's too stressful both doing that, doing homework and keeping all of it a secret from Remus. He's getting suspicious. And I hate lying to him."

"We're doing this for him-"

"But does he need it?" Peter cut Sirius off. "I know how you feel, and I want to help him too, but what can we do? We figured it out. We know his mom is a werewolf. And either he's sick because he's worried or some of the wolf-genes were transferred. Either way, more research won't help."

"But-"

"He's right, Sirius," James said calmly. He placed his hand on his shoulder. "We'll still do some, but we haven't been hanging out with him too much. There's no haste. I'll look into the book about werewolves Professor Eckbird had us buy for this year. Maybe it says something useful."

Sirius looked between them, then finally sighed out of defeat. "Okay then."

"And we'll keep letting him know we're here for him," Peter added.

.:lll:.

Remus lay awake in bed. He had been awake for about an hour, and there were only five minutes till he needed to get ready. He desperately hoped Peter was right, and they would all hang out together again soon.

Yet he couldn't help but wonder why two of them always seemed to be busy. And why it was always in the same pattern. First, he and Sirius would hang out. Usually, they would work on spells or just talk. Then James would help him with Potions, and lastly, he helped Peter with spells he had already practised with either James or Sirius.

It had been like that for a couple of weeks, but he couldn't think of a reason why. It couldn't be because they didn't want to be friends with him. But he couldn't think of other reasons why they would be acting weird.

He just hoped it would be over soon.

Finally, the alarm clock ripped him apart from his thoughts, and after a few tries, he got out of the bed. But James wasn't up. He frowned. Normally, James would be up the second the alarm began. Though a few seconds later he emerged.

His hair was messier than usual, he stretched his arms while letting out a long yawn.

"M' sorry. I couldn't fall asleep last night," James said, already on his way towards Sirius to get the other boy out of bed.

Peter was difficult to get out of bed, and Sirius was the same. It seemed unlikely that all of them had trouble sleeping the previous night as they claimed. Remus tried to wash the bad feeling away. They were friends. They kept reminding him repeatedly that they were there for him.

They wouldn't do anything without him, right?

With a bad feeling in his gut, Remus followed his friends to breakfast. It was clear that they tried to hold back any yawns, but he didn't point this out. Maybe there were telling the truth. Maybe they did have trouble sleeping the previous night.

James glanced around the Great Hall, but finally, his gaze settled on his friends and a smirk decorated his lips.

"Do any of you know how to cut hair?"

As one, the rest of them raised their eyebrow at James. Out of all the things he could've asked, that one had to be the weirdest.

James began explaining. "There's a Hufflepuff girl over there. Her hair is black and practically reaches the ground. Don't you think she would like a haircut? And while we're at it we should probably get rid of the hair for her." James smiled when Sirius' eyes shone. He saw where James was going.

Sirius turned to Remus. "Is that okay? We'll just need to cut the ends, and she's small so there won't be any ripped uniforms."

Remus hesitated as three pairs of eyes stared expectantly at him. "Err, you don't need my permission."

"No, but you were the one who pointed out that the uniforms would rip if we chose a big person. So, you have to decide," Peter said.

Remus glanced back at the girl. She was certainly smaller than average. He doubted it would cause any problems. And he was grateful they took his suggestion seriously. He had felt bad for bursting the bubble when he had pointed it out.

"I guess she's fine."

Immediately James and Sirius lit up. The former replied. "Great. I'll use my charms to convince her."

This earned a snort from Sirius. They hit each other playfully a couple of times. Then the owls interrupted them. The Potter's family owl flew towards them with a package along with another owl. The second owl landed in front of Remus, but the first owl landed in front of Sirius.

Sirius frowned. Surely it was a mistake, but it didn't even seem to acknowledge James. Hesitantly, he took the package and served a sausage to the owl. It tooted happily and flew away, just after the owl that had delivered a letter to Remus.

"What is it?" James asked.

Sirius simply shrugged and opened the letter on top.

Dear Sirius.

Fleamont and I haven't had any letters from the school, so we imagine you two haven't gotten into trouble, which is always great. Can I assume you're the one keeping him out of trouble?

I hope you're having a good time. Hogwarts is over before you realize it, so be sure to enjoy the time to the fullest.

I have enclosed a variety of different sweets as I wasn't sure what you like the best.

You're welcome to write back to me at any time. And Fleamont as well.

Yours

Euphemia

He grinned, before carefully placing the letter in his bag. It would be a shame if anything happened to it. Sirius then proceed to open the package. It was much like the one James had received a few weeks back, but he quickly noted that there was a delicious smelling, freshly baked cake with chocolate on top.

"A package to me from your mom," he said.

James took a glance. "Hey, Remus, this is the cake I told you about."

"Huh?" Remus glanced up from his letter, took a deep breath and almost began to dribble. "Merlin it smells amazing!"

He grinned, then explained to Sirius and Peter. "Remus and I thought this would be the perfect cake for Halloween, hopefully, it'll be the first people will fill on their plates. We also thought of asking the House-Elves how they put chocolate into the brownies he and I got a while ago."

"Sounds great. Who's that from?" Sirius gestured to the letter Remus was still holding.

"My parents. They just want to know how I'm doing. And they send me a chocolate bar."

The others laughed softly, unsurprised.

"Can we go? I want to return this to the dorm before class starts." Sirius clapped the package gently. He almost couldn't contain the smile on his lips. He couldn't believe he had received a package!

Neither of the four boys noticed the slightly gloomy atmosphere as they left.

.:lll:.

Surprisingly enough, James' 'charms' worked. They convinced the girl from Hufflepuff to let them cut her hair, and now they had more than enough for the prank. Remus had done most of the work, he managed to cut her hair in an almost straight line.

They had wanted to bake the cake, but James had Quidditch practise, and that had priority! Peter wanted to watch the session - they were supposed to have a practice game. Though Remus wanted to stay inside and read, hence Sirius decided to stay indoors as well.

Sirius laid sprawled across Remus bed, while the latter read the book he had begun. It was slightly boring, but he had wanted to get Remus alone. After twenty minutes he finally spoke.

"Remy?"

Remus didn't even flinch, he simply turned the page in the book.

"Reeeeeeemy."

This time Sirius knew Remus ignored him on purpose as his eyes moved slightly. He reached out and poked Remus' foot gently. Still receiving no response, he proceeds to poke just a little harder. At last, he slipped his hand under Remus' foot causing the other boy to jump slightly, and finally put the book away.

"What?"

"Come lay down." Sirius patted the spot next to him.

With a sigh, Remus obeyed. He copied Sirius' position by laying on his back but turning his head to the other boy. Remus raised an eyebrow, thinking Sirius would begin to speak first.

"Do you keep any secrets from us?" Sirius had meant to be more tactful, but he spoke before he could stop himself.

Remus shrugged. "I don't think so. I don't think they're secrets, but likely just things I haven't told because you haven't asked."

Sirius nodded slowly, hesitating before asking the next question. "Are your parents ever like… harsh towards you? Like… like they slap you and stuff like that."

"No… I feel like you've asked me something like this already." Remus laughed nervously, hoping they could change the subject. Hadn't they given up on the theory that he was abused?

Sirius ignored the last statement. "I know we all say this a lot, but if you ever need anything. You can come to us." Remus nodded. The constant assuring had him worried. "I truly mean it, Remus-" Sirius turned the lay on his side. "You can come to is with anything. We'll be there for you no matter what."

"Why do you keep saying that?"

"What?"

Remus glanced at the ceiling. "Why do all of you keep assuring me that you'll be there for me no matter what? Don't take this the wrong way, because it's nice, but why? Why isn't it you, or Peter, or James who get assured all the time? Why me?" He moved his gaze back.

Sirius took a moment to answer. "We're worried about your mom."

"And?"

"Maybe it's not specifically your mom we're worried about, but rather you, and what happens if she doesn't get better." Sirius bit his lip, he wasn't sure what to say next, and Remus question baffled him.

"Have you been talking about me behind my back?"

"I suppose, but-"

Remus cut him off by sitting up abruptly. "My mom is none of your concern. I'm fine, and she's fine. Stop worrying about me." The last sentence was more of a plead than a request.

Sirius slowly sat up as well but didn't put his arm around Remus as he wanted. "We're friends. And friends worry about each other. James, Peter and I didn't mean to talk about you behind your back, but we just want you to know you have us if something happens to her."

"But stop!" Remus hadn't meant to sound harsh. "You keep bringing her up, but I don't want to think about it! I wanna forget it and live a normal life but you keep reminding me! You keep reminding me I have things to worry about and that I need help, but I just- I just…" Hiding his face behind his hands, he let out a shaky breath, shaking slightly.

Sirius forced himself to pause and think about what he should do next. "Do you want to hug?"

Remus shook his head gently, therefore Sirius sat still. He had to keep reminding himself not to hug Remus, but it was hard when his friend was upset. Though he managed. Remus would only become more upset if Sirius hugged after asking him not to.

After a while, Remus seemed calmer and he removed his hands, then Sirius spoke. "We'll stop asking, but only if you promise to come with anything that's upsetting you."

"I promise." He smiled wryly at Sirius. A few minutes passed in silence until Remus spoke again. "I could use that hug now."

With a grin, Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus and felt the other boy do the same.

.:lll:.

Dear Euphemia.

Thank you so much for the package! That cake of yours with chocolate on top was delicious! The other boys thought so too.

Don't be mistaken, Remus is the one keeping us out of trouble. Some of the time at least. He was the tiny boy who visited last summer.

Thanks again for the package. I'll write to you as often as I can if that's okay.

Regards

Sirius.

.:lll:.

Remus and Peter had been banned from touching the batter. Turns out that baking and creating potions weren't that different from each other. Turns out Peter and Remus were horrible at both.

"Remus!" James had barely turned around for a second, only to find Remus with his finger in the chocolate. Remus hastily took as much as he could and slipped it into his mouth. James snatched the bowl away. "Honestly. We won't have enough for the cake if you keep doing that!"

"So?" Sirius said. "This isn't the cake we're going to use. It's just for practice. And now we know we have to feed him a lot of chocolate before baking the cake."

"Hey!" Remus hit Sirius' arm gently.

"And during," Peter added causing the others to laugh and Remus to hit him as well.

James spoke once he had finished laughing. "Why are you complaining? If we do this, it means you'll get lots of chocolate."

Remus' eyes lit up, but he hastily narrowed them. "Then you also have to promise!"

Peter held up his left hand and set the other hand on his chest. Sirius and James instantly copied him. Peter began speaking.

"We swear to give you chocolate before and during the cake baking of our Halloween Prank."

Remus nodded approvingly, at that moment, a House Elf came running.

"Have you finished baking, sirs? Do you want me to clean up?" He spoke as if there was nothing in the world, he rather would than clean up their mess.

"No thanks," James said. "But if you bring over some sweets with chocolate, that would be great."

"Of course, sir."

Barely a half-minute had passed before three different House Elves stood in front of them with three separate plates of sweets. Remus stared hungrily at each one before picking a piece.

"Does your parents like chocolate too?" Three pairs of eyes landed on James, who had meant to ask the question more naturally. Werewolves like chocolate. And if Remus' mom liked chocolate, then that might explain why Remus liked it so much and would confirm their theory.

Remus shrugged. "I don't think I got it from them if that's what you mean. They like it, obviously, but not as much as me."

"Stupid question, James. It's not possible for anyone to like chocolate as much as Remus does," Peter said.

Remus had wanted to protest, but he had just taken a bite of the chocolate muffin, hence was unable to speak, causing the others to break into laughter.

.:lll:.

Study-Sundays were the most boring day of the week, but otherwise, Remus wouldn't do pranks. And it was probably for the best anyway. The day was worse than usual because Remus would visit his mom later. He was currently getting a book from the library.

Peter had wanted to go with him, to get a little break, but Sirius had sent him a look. It was one of those 'I need to tell something' that Peter thought they wouldn't be doing any longer.

"I don't want Remus to visit his mom." His voice didn't offer any discussion, yet James spoke.

"He isn't abused, Sirius… he's just visiting his mom. There's nothing odd about that." He put down his book. Why wouldn't Sirius let the subject go?

"Then how did he get those scars?"

A deafening silence filled the room. James opened his mouth as if he would speak, but no sound came. He hadn't thought about the scars since they visited McGonagall. Peter paled.

"Do you think his mom…?"

"No!" James stated firmly, cutting Peter off. "Professor McGonagall said they looked into it, and that they didn't find anything. Remus is fine."

"But does she know about his mom? It wouldn't be her who was hurting him - it would be a wolf! No matter what, I don't want him to go!" Sirius hadn't even realized he was standing. He just needed them to understand. To get on his side.

"You can't force him to stay. I get why he wanna visit to make sure she's okay." James glanced at Peter, hoping the other boy would help him calm down Sirius.

"I would wanna visit my mom too," Peter said.

Yet Sirius wasn't convinced. "Does he genuinely want to go? He's always upset whenever he has to leave." Peter and James finally seemed to believe him.

After a couple of minutes in silence, James spoke. "We ask him if he wants to stay. But we won't force him-"

The door suddenly opened. Remus had been too lost in his thoughts to hear what they were talking about, but considering the way, their eyes moved to him and their mouths shut, it felt as if they had been talking about him.

He slowly closed the door and carefully found his way back to the bed. Once sitting down, Remus dared a glance at all of them. He kept his breaths steady. Why were they talking about him?

The full moon caused Remus to lose his concentration. He had been staring at the same page for at least an hour until his heart suddenly began beating swiftly. The clock told him we were running a little late.

He began packing his things away. Immediately all eyes were on him. Remus turned his back to them and put on his jacket, but when he turned back, Sirius was blocking the door.

"I need to go." The time was ticking causing his heart to beat faster.

"You could also stay," Sirius stated softly. All the other boys moved closer to him, but Sirius was still standing in the way. "If you stay, you won't get behind in classes."

Remus couldn't deal with it. His head was spinning. Usually, he would already be under the covers in the Shrieking Shack. He needed to go. To make sure no one got hurt!

"Can we talk about this another time? I need to go." Remus took a step forward, but the others did as well. He felt panic rising.

"Your mom will understand," Peter said, thinking that was why Remus was hesitating.

"I'm late. I need to go." He took another step, but so did they. "Guys. I want to go. Can you please just move?"

"Did she give you the scars?"

"What? No-" Oh no. He pulled down his sleeves by instinct. McGonagall had told him to come up with a cover story, but he had completely forgotten! His eyes moved across the room. But they were blocking the way.

"Remus, it's okay. We know she's a werewolf. And while she might not mean to hurt you, it could still happen." James' soothing voice didn't have an impact on him.

"She's not-"

"Then why do always disappear during the full moon?"

Remus froze. His eyes landed on Peter. His mind was clouded, and he couldn't seem to think straight. He was on the verge of throwing up. Instinctually, he took a step back. They tried to speak to him, but he couldn't hear them.

The whole world stood still. Time was ticking. He needed to go.

Remus tried to get through their shield, but they held him back. He needed to go. Despite trying, he couldn't slow down his breathing. He was on the edge of the cliff. Them or him. He needed to go.

Remus took one last look at them. To remember how they looked with worry in their eyes instead of hate. He should never have accepted the letter to Hogwarts. He needed to go.

"I'm a werewolf!"

He couldn't look at them. Couldn't bear to see them as they realized they had been friends with a monster.

"What?" James whispered, but after his statement, there hadn't been a sound in the room.

"I'm a werewolf and if you don't let me go, you're all gonna die!"

Without a word, they moved. Remus sprinted - and didn't stop. He jumped down the stairs and out of the portrait hole where Madam Pomfrey came walking towards.

"Mr Lupin-"

"I know."

His breath hitched. His legs arched, but he forced himself to keep going. Tears filled his eyes as he realized what would happen once he woke up again the next morning. If he woke up the next morning.

Remus couldn't comprehend what would happen if he didn't make it to the Shrieking Shack.

The staircases quickly disappeared behind him as he jumped down. Then Hogwarts. He had barely even pressed the knot at the Whomping Willow before he was in the tunnel. He kept falling on the uneven ground, but he couldn't slow down.

Remus stood in the Shrieking Shack; he had slammed the door behind him. The sound still echoed through the room. He could finally take a deep, calming breath.

But he fell to the ground as pain overtook his body and screams filled the room.

By the minute he became less and less human while also growing bigger. He tried to rip off his clothes causing deep scars to appear, but his body was shaking. He couldn't breathe causing only stifled screams to come out.

But even then, as his body changed and his bones broke, it wasn't as hurtful as knowing he had lost his best and only friends.

.:lll:.

This hurts so much to write. I need to write next chapter soon to feel better.

Remember to tell if you liked this chapter - or if you didn't. Constructive criticism is always welcome. :D