Chapter 48, Piece 50 * * * * * * * *
Four orthopedic surgeons - including two hand specialists - looked at Jounouchi's injury. They scheduled surgery for 10am and would have sent him home with a pain killer had Kaiba not insisted on admitting him to a private room.
While Jounouchi got settled in, Kaiba got the surgeon's assistant, Tetsu-san, to send an email to his brother.
He returned to Jounouchi's room to find the artist dozing. He sat and watched him sleep.
Beautiful. A strong jawline. Not at all feminine or soft, but not angular or harsh. Masculine. Sculpted by some divine artist. Those hypnotic brown eyes were closed, but nothing hid those full lips. They looked moist. Kissable.
Kaiba smiled to himself. From what he knew thus far, he wasn't the type to steal a kiss from a sleeping prince. Yet this very prince claimed that Kaiba had 'jumped' him; that implied more than a simple peck on the lips.
Perhaps, just this once. As a test of memory. Maybe it was a different blonde man with arresting brown eyes that kissed him in the past.
This is monumentally stupid, Kaiba told himself as he leaned over the sleeping Jounouchi. Their lips met for less than a second.
Kaiba found his heart pounding, the sound of his blood rushing, and his whole body heating up. But no flood of memories - and no sign of Jounouchi waking.
He did it again, pressing harder and finding both of their lips parting. He felt a rare stirring in his loins.
And then a sense of dread that seemed to shove him physically across the room. The kiss itself was beyond joy incarnate; enough of those could move any man to climax. But the kiss also brought the knowledge that their first, last and only kiss had ended in disaster.
Something had happened with Jounouchi. Something both wonderful and terrible. Something that made a kiss as frightening as it was erotic. Kaiba wracked his brain for clues; if he had enough pieces, maybe he could rebuild the memory….
"Ok. I know I'm high on pain meds, but what are you doing on the floor?"
Kaiba looked down first and realized that he was sitting in a heap on the floor. Jounouchi was awake and looking at him curiously.
"Did you finally remember?" Jounouchi asked, almost amused. "'Cause that's just how you looked that night."
Kaiba shook his head. "I don't...kissing is bad. I just know that."
"I wouldn't go that far." Jounouchi yawned. "I mighta enjoyed it, if you had asked first."
The change in tone caught Kaiba. "You're no longer angry."
"Hard to be mad when you got this much vicodin in you." Jounouchi looked at him thoughtfully. "Kinda a bummer. All I ever wanted to know is 'why' and you can't tell me."
"Why?"
"Yeah. Why'd you do that? I mean, I was totally hot for you. If you'da asked, I would have totally said yes. But… I mean, I woke up and you were…." he swallowed hard, uncomfortable with the memory. "I can't even touch another guy now without thinking of what you tried to do."
Shame crushed Kaiba. "And I can't even tell you why. Jounouchi-san, there is no atonement for that. What I've taken from you -" Kaiba had met sexual abuse victims, heard many of their stories. "Oh Gods! I am the villain!" Kaiba felt his grip on rationality slip. "I don't want to be the villain," he moaned.
"Kaiba?" Jounouchi tried to sit up and leaned on his broken hand. The soft cast kept it from moving, but the pressure send sharp pain shooting up his arm despite the IV. "Ow! Fuck! Dude, get a grip!"
The normally impassive man didn't respond, instead drawing into a fetal position.
"Oh, come on!" Jounouchi groaned. "I gotta deal with this shit?" He huffed. "The one time I forget my damn phone." And since he'd seen signs for the 'Kaiba Memorial Pediatric Center' on the way to xray his hand, he was hesitant about letting the hospital staff see a major donor having a nervous breakdown.
But he couldn't just leave the man crying and moaning on the floor. He might be a raping, thieving asshole, but he was…. Jounouchi wasn't sure what he was, but even Kaiba didn't deserve to suffer like that. Especially since he really didn't seem to know what happened and he really did seem remorseful anyway.
Or maybe the drugs they were giving him were just that good.
"Fuck me." Jounouchi rolled his eyes and struggled to get out of the bed without using his hand. He rolled the IV with him and sat on the floor next to Kaiba. "Kaiba. Kai- geez! Seto. Come on, you are not a villain."
"I'm not the hero," came a muffled response. "I hurt people."
Jounouchi bit back his first response. "What are you, twelve? Everyone hurts somebody. Everybody gets hurt. That's how life works."
"I don't wanna hurt people!" Kaiba cried. "Papa never hurt anyone."
'Papa?' Jounouchi looked at the heap. Maybe he needed to call the hospital staff. Yugi had said Kaiba's head was injured, and he did seem strange when they all met earlier. But most of the evening, he'd acted like he always did, more or less. Mostly. 'Mutou-kun' was kinda weird. And that whole 'let's fill in the blanks together' thing. How messed up was he? "Just calm down, ok?" He hesitated, then stroked Kaiba's hair. "If you don't want to hurt people, then you won't. Ok?"
"I hurt you." Kaiba pointed out, but he sat up and wiped his face.
"That was a long time ago. And I probably could have handled it better. I mean, ten years and I never even tried to talk to you about it."
Kaiba took a deep breath. "Don't blame the victim. I don't think I was the kind of man who would have talked about it." He seemed to be pulling himself together. "You should be in bed, Jounouchi-san."
"Quit calling me that; it's just plain weird."
"What would you prefer?"
Jou used to dream of Kaiba calling him 'Katsuya', but that sounded like a bad idea. No matter how much a part of him wanted to hear it. "Jou. Just Jou is fine."
"Very well, Jou-san." Kaiba stood up and reached down to help Jounouchi stand. For a moment, they were almost embracing.
"Dude, is that a boner against my leg?"
Kaiba turned beet red. "I'm afraid there is little I can do about it. Let's get you in bed."
"See? That's what you shoulda said back then." Kaiba helped Jounouchi back into bed. "Whoa. I musta done something; I just went all dizzy."
"I'm sorry!" Kaiba sounded anxious again.
"Man, you are seriously whacked out!" Jounouchi snickered. "The old you -" the rest was lost behind a yawn.
"You should sleep. I emailed my brother and Mutou-kun, so they know where you are. Do you want anything? Anything at all?"
"Yeah." Jounouchi's eyes fluttered. "Tell me something - if I hadn't stopped you, would you have tried to, ya'know, hold me?"
"I can't say for certain, but I sincerely doubt it." Kaiba blushed again. "I find the idea of you holding me much more enticing."