Hi there,

beware, this chapter spoils the Happy End.

No need to read it, only if you feel like it.

Trigger warning: Implication of death :(

Chapter 48

Shadows

When Caspian saw the blooming Northern parts of Narnia in his dreams that night, he knew it was not real. Yet everything seemed like it – eerily so. The many streams that crossed the landscape, the radiant green meadows and the ancient trees looked like he might touch them.

And Caspian did not want to wake up at all. He saw Ria, right in front of him, and Rilian, looking for a shady spot directly under an old pasture along a small stream. He heard them laughing and conversing about many things as they walked along the creek.

And yet Caspian was not really with them. Like a silent observer, he saw them, he heard them, but he could not approach them in any way. Maybe that was where the nightmare began.

"I won't ever understand the reasons to go on a hunt," Rilian said when he made himself comfortable by the foot of the largest of the old trees.

Ria laughed quietly as she let her hands glide through the water of the current beside them.

"That's why we're not participating, sweetheart. Let the nobles think whatever they want."

"The Queens and Kings of Old would never have hunted," Rilian sighed. "But some Lords will never understand."

Ria nodded thoughtfully. "You've always had a feeling for what is right. I'm incredibly proud of you, do you know that?"

Her son turned around to her almost in surprise, and he could hardly stop a satisfied smile from creeping onto his face until it suddenly faded into a questioning look.

"Mamá, something's next to you..."

Caspian was unable to move, in his own dream. And so there was no way for him to warn Ria of the snake that lurked beside her hand out of nowhere. Her bright green color did not bode well and Rilian saw it just a moment too late.

The Queen pulled her hand away and looked at it perplexed, then she saw the bite marks.

Rilian got up immediately, he tried to chase after the snake in the high grass, and Ria only looked after him in horror.

It was the moment Caspian could not even be stopped by the barriers in his dream anymore. He ran towards Ria and leaned over her, with rising panic in his soul.

"Caspian, that happened... much too fast..." she stammered like in a daze as he nervously grabbed her arm.

He examined it and then looked at her with big eyes. "That's nothing, darling," he tried to assure her wellbeing much more to himself than to her, as though it could change anything about the poison that had already began to spread within her bloodstream.

She smiled at him, clearly in love, and nodded wearily, "I don't feel anything."

"That's good," he claimed and felt his eyes sting as the first tears almost clouded his sight. "That's good, Ria. Mírame, don't be tired!" (1)

She let out a harsh breath, as if she suddenly felt unbearably hot, and Caspian desperately shoved her hair back away from her face after he pulled her tightly into his arms.

"Cielito, mírame, you must stay awake with me!"

"Thank you for letting me accompany you to the banquet," she sighed as he wiped away a tear from her cheek in despair. "I've never regretted saying Yes."

"Are you sure?" His black eyes were full of remorse. "I wasn't there for you, not enough at least, but I'll change that. Everything will change. There's still so much to do and see, you can't leave me yet!"

She shook her head tiredly, but she smiled because he was with her and she was allowed to die in the arms of her beloved. "I've had everything I ever wanted."

When she could not fight her tiredness any longer, she closed her eyes wistfully, but contentedly, and, in a way, Caspian died with her as he held her lifeless body in his arms.

It was the very moment he was torn from his sleep, struggling for breath. He felt hot and cold at once and could not think clearly for a couple of heartbeats.

Had this actually happened? Would it happen?

"Darling, are you all right?"

It was like a gift from heaven to hear Ria's tired, worried voice. He turned around and looked at her so longingly that she almost got suspicious.

"Have you seen a ghost?" she yawned in amusement. "Too many Leyendas?"

"Just a nightmare," he forced himself to say.

Ria let her hand slide over his back and asked, "What happened?"

"I saw how…" He started and paused for a moment. There was no reason to worry her, so he explained, "I've lost something, cielito. Forever."

"I believe nothing's lost forever," she said confidently and drew nearer to him. "Except for sleep, my love."

He smirked and nodded in silence, then he hugged her to himself and swore to never let her go again.

"I can't ever be without you, you know that," he said under his breath and kissed her forehead.

Her stayed in his arms with a smile on her face, and that was all he could ever wish for.

He tried to get the picture of her death out of his head as fast as he could. Now that she had returned to Cair Paravel, Caspian felt alive again - how could he dream of something as horrible as her death in the light of that? Their happiness was real and genuine, and he could not afford to lose her a second time.

"Do you believe in eternity?" Ria suddenly asked as she turned in his arms, and the mere question put chills up his spine. He saw her eyes sparkle in the dim light and nodded decidedly.

"That's good," she whispered. "Me too. Let's hold on to that, shall we? Then nothing can ever separate us forever."

"Yes," he said as firmly as he could, struggling for composure. "Juntitos para siempre, tú y yo. Lo mejor está por venir." (2)

"Done," she was quick to nod and let herself sink back into his arms, where she stayed until the morning.

It was only a strange feeling, like a lurking shadow behind them, because they both had no idea what the future would hold.

They had no idea how soon Caspian's nightmare and the words of the librarian from Anvard would become bitter truth. That Ria would leave her family behind far too early due to the bite of a snake, much like Aravis.

There would come a day when she would not be able to return to Caspian and her children, just like Rilian, who would disappear without a trace, for many years.

They had no idea what the future would hold and it was precisely what made the remaining time they were allowed to spend together so precious.

They treasured the here and now, hand in hand, and it was surely made of pure gold.

Translations

1. Mírame / Look at me

2. Juntitos para siempre, tú y yo. Lo mejor está por venir. / Together forever, you and me. The best is yet to come.

Oh boi,

I hope this is a bittersweet ending, given it is actually in line with the Chronicles. I never wanted to rewrite Caspian's story, I just wanted to write it.

C.S. Lewis has never outlined the years between the Dawn Trader and the Silver Chair in detail, so I wanted to add some color to them.

I've always had a heavy heart knowing that Caspian's Queen dies. Yet it also seems quite realistic to me that death won't even stop for the sake of a children's book like the Chronicles.

We all lose someone, sooner or later in our lives, and sometimes it can come as a terrible surprise. I lost a dear friend three years ago and suddenly I knew why they always advice us to say what we need to say in time. (I personally believe that I will see her again because I have faith in Jesus, but still I'd have loved to tell her what an angel she was in my life while there still was time.)

Therefore, even though it may sound terribly kitschy and old, tell those close to you that you love them, as long and as much as you can.

Don't lose too much time over worries, anxiety and doubts, and try not to be afraid to give too much. Love always comes back to us in a way, I'm sure of it.

And if things go wrong - what would life be without escapades, embarrassing moments and a bit of drama? ;)

That being said, let's go through the wardrobe and return into our own world - it's also full of wonders if we dare to open our eyes.

Take good care of yourselves, be kind to yourself and others, and thank -you- very much!

Thanks for each and every of your favorite entries, follows and comments. Thank you for sticking with me through this whole journey, it was a blast for me :)

Lots of heartfelt love

Dalia

xxx

PS: I've mentioned it once, I have 11 German prequel chapters in my archive somewhere, with Lorella, Emilio, Addison, Tayana and many more. But I'm not quite sure whether any of you would be interested in my version of Caspian's childhood / youth until Chapter 1 of this story. So if you'd like to read any of it, you need to let me know.

PPS: In case you leave me a comment as a guest on the last two chapters, I won't be able to comment on them due to the lack of the function on . I'm sorry about that, but be sure I'm super thankful :)