A finger pressed against Nathan's lips, as he smiled at Christopher.

Christopher smiled back, holding in the laughter that would express the joy he was feeling.

Father and Son crouched together in the dark, hearing Nora's voice, as she stepped inside her house. "Nathan, are you here? I didn't know you were coming over. If I had-"

"Surprise!"

Nora's eyes blinked in the sudden light, a smile engulfing her face, as she took in the presence of both Nathan and Christopher. She looked at the cake in the center of the dining table, icing spelling out "Happy Birthday, Grandma." "Oh. You two. I had no idea."

Christopher rushed forward and hugged Nora. "That's why it's called a surprise, Grandma!"

Nathan started to light the candles that were on the cake, tiny flames flickering above the flowery decorations and frosting. "It's your birthday, and you've done everything for us."

Nora sat with Christopher beside her, listening, as both he and Nathan sang "Happy Birthday" in her honor.

Once the song was finished, she stared at the cake, the lit candles a symbol of so much more than age. Christopher's voice interrupted her musings. "Hurry up and make a wish! You don't want the candles to melt all over the cake!"

Nora drew in a breath, as she looked at Nathan's face, then at Christopher's, still able to picture a child years ago, her features resembling his, despite the darkness hidden in her heart. Nora then focused on the candles and closed her eyes, the wish made, as she extinguished the burning flames.

The pattern of the tile went in an endless loop around the floor of the hallway, the sound of the bell signaling the return of hurrying feet rushing to lockers in preparation to leave the building for the weekend.

Steve stayed to himself, ignoring the few remaining wondering looks that were even accompanied by others he knew were simply born of sympathy. Or perhaps even empathy because he wasn't the first to be the subject of twisted truths.

Steve felt a tap on his shoulder, as he walked into the courtyard and was about to snap out a reply when he turned around, realizing who was there. "Oh. Hey, Kid."

Pony followed behind Steve. "Sorry. Wasn't trying to sneak up on you or anything."

"Nah. It's fine. You want something?"

"Just wondering if I could catch a ride."

"Sure, Kid. No problem."

The traffic light changed from green to red, not affected by the growing tension that held Steve in its grip. He focused on the color, willing it to change. "Kid, it won't surprise you that this is not my favorite thing to talk about at all. And no offense, but-"

Pony interrupted, intent on saying what he'd planned. "I know I ain't Sodapop, Steve. But I- I want you to know I care. You pretty much told me the same thing once, even if you didn't exactly say it. Remember?"

"Of course I remember, and I know that. I really do."

"Don't hurt yourself again, okay? And not just because I can't stand to watch Soda in pain like that."

The light turned green, and Steve pressed on the gas pedal. "I'm not, Kid. I swear."

"Johnny talked about killing himself once. It was hard to hear him say it, and it made me feel real helpless. But after, you know, everything, he didn't want to die."

"Cause it's not about that, Ponyboy." Steve pictured their buddy, a boy who had been nearly beaten to death just for kicks, a boy who had been constantly rejected by his own parents. "I never heard him say anything like that, but I can see where it comes from. I can see it damn well."

Pony held his tongue on the question that wanted to come next, instead letting beats of silence fall, before speaking again. "I'm sorry for whatever happened to make you feel that bad. And I'm sorry for not standing up for you when I heard- Well, when I heard what I'm sure you wish I didn't."

Steve turned the steering wheel, making a right that left them just a block from the Curtis' house. "Kid, did you ask for a ride to corner me or something?"

"I figured the worst thing you could do was stop and throw me out of the car."

Steve started to laugh, finding he couldn't help it. "Then, you'd just walk the rest of the way home. No problem, huh?"

"Yeah. I timed it all perfectly. I didn't say anything at all til we were close enough to my house."

Steve parked his car next to the curb connected to the Curtis' driveway. "Well, I'm timing it perfectly too by kicking you out right here."

Pony smiled, hearing the amusement in Steve's voice. "I still haven't told anyone, you know."

"Told them what?"

"About that heart you have." Pony pulled the handle on the passenger door, pushing it open. "Aren't you coming in?"

"Not right now. After Soda gets off work, you can tell him I'll be back later. I think I'm going to head home for a little bit."

The water rushed from the faucet into the glass, turning from cold to hot, the pressure building until it bubbled over.

Steve turned off the faucet, then poured the remaining water into the sink, before leaving the rinsed glass to dry. He picked up the notebook he'd left on the counter, the shiny metallic cover making his own face stare back at him.

Steve opened the cover to the first page, his eyes scanning the words he'd written several months before, the memories within them a secret at the time. He turned one page after another, remembering how he'd struggled to share details he'd kept to himself completely for all those years. He remembered how just writing it down had helped relieve some of the burden, giving these memories and emotions a space that didn't only exist inside his head.

Steve turned to the next blank page and picked up a pencil, his mind going back less that two weeks before, to when Grace had been here with him and Nicholas. Starting with his thoughts while Grace was talking, the truth of Clara's death revealed to him, he took Laura's advice again.

Steve wrote the thoughts he had, the details he couldn't talk about. He described the pictures in his mind that his spoken words had only skimmed the surface of since Grace came over. He wrote down the questions and fears, giving these wonderings a place to breathe, a safe place to belong.

The heart took a detour on the path of denial that it had forged in response to another voice telling it what it didn't want to hear.

"It's over, Clara. There's nothing between us anymore. Maybe there never really was."

The heart chose its words carefully, a shield building to keep it from the pain that continuously tried to get through. "That's just fine, Daniel. I was going to tell you the same thing."

The heart didn't let the truth penetrate its exterior, the flesh only growing harder in order to maintain control, as the voice replied.

"I never wanted to hurt you, Clara. It wasn't my plan. I just don't see any kind of future for us."

The heart, deceitful above all others, completed its alternate route, circling around to words that held a very small grain of truth. "I honestly don't want to see you anymore anyway. So long, Dr. Parker. I've had my eye on someone else."

The card slid out, landing on the carpet, the Ace of hearts staring up at Steve and Soda.

Soda spoke first, snatching up the card, his voice one of forced innocence. "I swear I had no idea that was there."

Steve flicked a card at Soda's head. "Yeah, right, man. You just got an Ace in your sock by accident. From who? The poker fairy?"

Soda chuckled. "The poker fairy? Friend of the Tooth Fairy?"

"Nah, his cousin twice removed or some shit like that."

"You think the Tooth Fairy is a guy?"

Darry's laugh could be heard from across the house. "Do I even want to know how that subject came up?"

Steve was quick with a reply. "Your brother's a cheater, Superman. That's how."

Pony jumped into the banter. "Aw, man. Steve just made the discovery of the decade."

Steve tried, but failed, to keep the smile off his face. "You better watch it, Kid."

Soda tried to slide another ace into his sock, only for Steve to see him. He threw his best friend a smile. "What? I ain't doing anything, Stevie."

Darry laughed, the expression on Soda's face too much the picture of sincerity. "I think it's over, little buddy. You better fold."

TwoBit was next to throw in his two cents that had earned him his nickname. "The Tooth Fairy must be a Soc, having all that money to give away just for teeth."

Steve flicked another card at Soda, as he replied to TwoBit. "Damn, I totally pictured the Tooth Fairy flying around in a leather jacket and tuff greased up wings. You ruined my image, man."

The cigarettes' ashes landed on the ground of the Curtis' backyard, the still flickering embers held in the fingers of two teenage boys, all the love of brotherhood existing between them.

Soda stretched his legs out, his feet resting on the bottom step, as he let smoke blow into the night air. "What was that at the DX yesterday, Stevie?"

Steve focused on the cigarette he held, though he couldn't help but shiver. "It was nothing you haven't seen happen before."

"I know. I knew that look on your face, man, but it was kinda different. So was that stuff you were saying. And just the way you sounded reminded me of when I saw you in the hospital."

"It's just what I was thinking. It doesn't mean anything."

Soda sighed, then took another long puff of his cigarette. "You've talked before with flashbacks."

Steve put his cigarette between his lips and turned his head, his eyes on the grass beside the porch steps, one hand holding the zipper on his jacket.

"But you've never said stuff like that."

"You weren't supposed to hear it. But it just slipped out."

"So how does it not mean anything?"

"I didn't want you to know, okay?"

Soda put his cigarette out, tossing it to the ground, before he touched Steve's shoulder. "You didn't want me to know what exactly?"

"I don't want to do this, Sodapop. It was just a flashback. Just memories doing what they do. That's all."

Soda kept his hand on Steve's shoulder, his voice soft. "But not the same memories it has been."

Steve's shoulders slumped, and he put his cigarette out, as he let his head hang. "That's what I didn't want you to know."

"Why not, buddy?"

Steve could feel his best friend's concern chipping away at the edges of his resolve. "Cause those memories..." He sighed, lifting his head to look at Soda. "I don't want to hurt you with those. I go back to it, man. I go back to the day I overdosed."

"I'm sorry, Stevie. How long has this been going on?"

"Not long. The first time was last Friday night at my house. You know, when I wasn't moving or talking or anything. I just didn't tell you and my dad that part."

"I'm so sorry that happens, man. It's the last thing you need right now. What do you mean you don't want to hurt me with those memories? I already know what happened."

"Yeah. You know I took a bunch of pills and got sick. You know I called my dad for help. But, Soda, that's not..."

"It's not what?"

"It's not everything."

"Something else happened?"

"No. Nothing else happened. I just mean you don't know all the details. Like everything I was thinking right after. Or exactly where I was and how it all went down."

"Oh. I guess I hadn't really thought about anything like that. I mean, I know you were at home, but not- I guess I didn't think about how or-"

Steve interrupted the thoughts in Soda's head, able to look at his eyes and see the wheels turning. "And I don't want you to think about it, buddy."

"But if you're having flashbacks of all this, don't you need to talk about it? You don't have to tell me, but if you need me to listen, I can. It might hurt me like hell, Stevie, but I still will."

Steve held onto the last of his resolve, knowing that Soda spoke the truth, that he'd listen to it all to help his best friend cope through the memories. "I know, man. But you don't have to. I'm not putting you through that."

"So have you talked about it at all?"

"Yeah. I have. I'm not too sure how much it helped, but I did. If nothing else, at least I'm not by myself in handling it."

"Does your dad know about these flashbacks?"

"No. I don't want him to either. Just like I don't want to hurt you with those memories, I don't want to hurt him either."

The lamp's bulb glowed, casting its light to make the Randles' living room not as dark, despite the lateness of night.

Nicholas turned the pages in the book of Proverbs, reading the verses known for their wisdom. He looked up when Steve sat down beside him. "Hey. I was just doing a little reading. I'm not sure I understand all of it though."

Steve curled up on the couch, then laid his head on Nicholas' shoulder.

"Do you want to play a game or something again? I think we had fun those couple of nights."

"No. Not tonight."

"Well, maybe tomorrow, you can try to beat me at Scrabble."

"Yeah."

Nicholas looked at the Bible that was still open on his lap, the next verse in chapter sixteen reading, "Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body."

"I love you, Dad."

Nicholas spent a moment with his eyes on the verse he'd just read, understanding the wisdom behind it. "I love you too, Son." He put one arm around Steve, keeping him close. "I love you more than you can imagine."

The heart went on a hunt, knowing its prey was near, the rolling wheels of a full shopping cart leading away from the store checkout.

Clara eyed Nicholas, of the belief that his window for grieving had long past. She drew closer, stopping right beside the register closest to the door, giving the cashier a smile.

Nicholas handed bills and coins to the cashier, remaining there to wait for some change.

Clara chose this moment to speak, the heart beating in anticipation, as she kept her voice light and sweet. "Hi, I'm Clara."

Nicholas looked at her, as the cashier handed him the change. "I'm Nicholas." He put the bills in his wallet, glancing at his two bags of groceries he'd yet to pick up. "Can I help you with something?"

The heart did a leap, absorbing the possibility of acceptance, as it spun a lie on its web of deceit. "I don't know. You just look familiar."

Nicholas put his wallet back into his pocket, then picked up the bags. "I used to work here. Maybe you saw me then."

Clara fell into step right beside Nicholas, the heart continuing to weave the web, as she conversed with him, the darkness creating a path that would lead to the fulfillment of its most wicked desires.

The hood slammed, the sound echoing off the walls of the garage, as Steve turned to Soda. "You should go tonight, man. She'll like you."

Soda took the key out of the newly repaired car's ignition, before sliding out of the driver's seat. "Of course she'll like me. Everyone likes me."

Steve rolled his eyes. "All right. Don't get cocky, smart ass."

Soda closed the driver's side door, the key still in his hand, as he leaned on a rear view mirror. "Yeah. I guess I'll go. I'm pretty sure TwoBit's expecting me to anyway."

"Well, yeah." Steve sat on the hood of the car. "It's not ever exactly been like you to turn down a date."

"That's true. So what are you going to do tonight?"

"Probably hang out with my dad. We've been spending time together, you know, doing kind of fun stuff. Things besides talking or being all serious. It's felt really good, honestly."

"You two probably need that."

"Yeah. We don't even have to do much either. Just watch TV or play games. Joke around. It's fun just being together."

The dominoes stood upon the coffee table, their winding path taking them all the way around the polished wooden surface.

Steve set another tile at the end of the line, careful not to topple them.

Nicholas chose the last domino out of the box, setting it on the opposite side of the table to complete the arrangement. "So do we knock it down, or see how long it stays up?"

"Let's leave it. It took too long to mess it up so soon."

Nicholas looked at the dominoes, the dotted tiles creating a structure that was simple but so fragile. "I'm thinking about going for a drive, Son. You want to come?"

The bowling ball rolled down the lane, then crashed into the pins, making all ten fall.

TwoBit high-fived Soda. "Nice shot, man. I didn't even know you could bowl."

Soda looked back at Kathy and her friend, Penny, who were chatting, as the guys took their turns.

TwoBit picked up his ball, following Soda's gaze. "So you like Penny? She sure seems to dig you. But girls always do like Sodapop Curtis."

"Yeah. I like her. And of course girls like me." Soda gave TwoBit a playful shove. "I'm sweet. Not a greasy hood, like some guys I know."

"Yeah. I'm such a delinquent, right?" TwoBIt stepped up to begin his turn, glancing at the now standing pins. "So you think you'll get some action tonight?"

Soda shrugged, then looked at Penny again. "I don't know, man. I actually wasn't even thinking about it, honestly." He smiled at her, as she smiled back. "And besides, I think I have a little more respect for her than that."

The glasses clinked together, and Clara took a sip of her red wine, the heart in her chest on fire with glee she could hardly contain. "You didn't have to make me dinner, Nicholas. We just met, after all."

Nicholas sipped his own wine, as he shook his head. "I wanted to. It's nice to do things for someone. Of course, I do things for my son. But it's a different feeling."

"Steve sounds like a delightful boy from the way you talk about him. I hope I get to meet him soon."

"Yeah. He's everything to me. And maybe you will. I don't know yet. He knows I've dated since Rose passed. If you can even call that dating. To be honest, I haven't been good about this, but I should be much more careful about ever getting him involved or attached if I don't know it's serious. I hope you understand."

"Oh. I absolutely do. That means you're a good dad. I like that about you."

"I just don't ever want him to get hurt because I'm trying to make myself feel good again. I've already taken that risk too many times. Not that I don't actually like you. I truly do. I just think that's a lot of what I've done with dating lately."

Clara smiled, the heart thirsting for more, making her reach out to stroke Nicholas' cheek, her fingers brushing over his unshaven face. "I really like you too."

Nicholas closed his eyes, leaning into Clara's touch that made him feel something he hadn't in a long time, made him yearn for more. "I"m so glad I met you."

Clara drew closer to Nicholas, letting her hand wander down to his chest, undoing one button of his shirt, as she whispered in his ear. "If you want me to, I know I way I can make you feel wonderful."

The Dairy Queen paper bag made a crinkling sound, as Steve put his leftover french fries inside it. "So where to now, Dad?"

Nicholas switched on his turn signal, before making a right. "I'm not sure, Son. I'm just driving around."

Steve rolled down his window, letting some fresh air blow into the car. "Oh. Okay. So are you trying to get your mind off something or what?"

"I just feel like driving. And it's a nice night for it."

"Yeah. I guess it is." Steve looked out the window, as his dad stopped at a red traffic light. He saw the drug store, the lights inside making it easy to see in the dark, the sign's letters glowing.

Once the light turned green, Nicholas moved forward again, going past the drug store, then into an area with several restaurants.

Steve looked at one of them, the air blowing in his face. "Hey, isn't that where Samuel works?"

"Sure is."

"I wonder if he's supposed to preach tomorrow at church. It seems like it's his turn."

"I believe it is, actually."

"I can see why you started talking to him about stuff, Dad. Cause I trust him that much now too."

"He's good at understanding things. I found that out very quickly."

"It's so weird. I mean the way everything has happened, you know? With Samuel and then Grace too. It can't be an accident either or even just a coincidence."

"It sure can't Son. Our paths crossed for a reason."

"I can even think of more than one reason." Steve moved his gaze to the sky that seemed to move along with them, the night carrying a multitude of stars, a simple evidential beauty of creation. "It's amazing to me, Dad. It's like a gift or something. And I know exactly who it came from."

The night was quiet, as Soda walked with Penny along the path that led to the front door of her house. He looked back at TwoBit's car, able to see his buddy and Kathy. "Man, they can't keep their hands off each other even for a second, can they?"

Penny giggled, as Soda followed her up on the her front porch. "Yeah, they get like that sometimes, especially when they've been off again for a little while. Kathy's my best friend, but I don't always like hanging out with the two of them."

"TwoBit says Kathy likes it better when they go out with another couple too. But it sure doesn't seem like they need us right now."

Penny sat down on the swing. "I think Kathy only says that because she wants me to come too."

Soda took a seat beside her, looking at TwoBit and Kathy once more. "If they keep that up, they might need us to pull them apart."

Penny smiled at Soda. "I've tried. It can't be done. Just trust me on that."

Soda chuckled. "I can believe it."

"The way TwoBit talks about his friends, I feel like I already know all of you guys."

"Yeah. He's a good buddy."

"I think he talks about Ponyboy the most. It's sweet. Actually, what all of you have sounds pretty special."

"It really is. I don't know what I'd do without my brothers or Steve or TwoBit. They're all my family."

Penny saw a light switch on inside her house. "I should probably go in. It's getting late."

Soda kissed Penny softly on the cheek, then put his hand over hers. "I hope you have a nice night."

"I had a good time with you, Sodapop. I really hope I get to see you again soon. I'd like to get to know you better."

Sirens cut into the night, an ambulance speeding down the road, its flashing lights accompanying the urgent sound.

Nicholas slowed down, pulling out of the way to let the emergency vehicle pass.

Steve stared at the lights, the red swirls that illuminated the night causing a sudden thought to escape from his mind. "I wonder if Clara wanted to call for help." There was no reply from Nicholas, as the sound of sirens faded into the distance. "I'm sorry."

Nicholas sped back up, heading in the direction of their house. "Sorry for what, Son?"

"For saying that outloud. I know you don't care."

"I do care. I care about anything you're thinking and anything that's bothering you."

"But you don't want to hear stuff like that about Clara."

"If you need to say it, then yes, I do, Steve. Please don't keep anything to yourself because you think I don't want to hear about it."

"Did you ever think you loved her, Dad?"

Nicholas inhaled a sharp breath, as he turned onto their street. "I thought I did, yes. But I know now I never really did, not even before I found out what was happening."

"I wonder if she ever loved anyone at all."

Nicholas pulled into the driveway, parking beside Steve's car. "I doubt she did, Son."

Steve looked out the window that was still partially rolled down, seeing the front porch light glowing. "I know it's a weird thing for me to say, but I wonder what she thought about while she was dying."

Nicholas pulled his key from the ignition, then touched Steve's arm. "It's not weird. You just have questions. I don't know the answers, Son. But that doesn't mean you can't ask or wonder or even tell me what you think."

"I really can't help it, Dad. Cause I-" Steve's gaze moved away from the porch light, drawn to his own car. His eyes then traveled from the Ford down to the ground he'd walked, picturing footprints marking the path that led from the driveway and up the steps.

Nicholas saw Steve's eyes move in one direction, then the other, uncertain about the shift and his son's unfinished thought. "You what?"

"I- I need to get out of here." His chest tightening, Steve pushed open the passenger door, sliding out of the car.

"Okay." Nicholas opened the driver's side door, the visible alarm in Steve's eyes making him move quickly.

Steve hurried inside, his steps not pausing to wait for Nicholas.

Nicholas' fingers threaded through Clara's hair, as his mouth was pressed against hers, the kiss making him want more, the touch making him desire to go further than he had intended.

The heart, desperate for a foothold, reveled in the building electricity, making Clara nearly gasp when she could no longer feel Nicholas' lips on hers.

Nicholas smiled her. "I really want to do this. I do. But Steve will be home soon."

The heart gaped in disappointment, though the mention of Steve led it down another path of musing. Clara touched Nicholas' cheek, just as she had earlier. "It's time for me to go then. But please let me meet him soon."

The keys landed on the counter, Nicholas' feet carrying him through the house, his mind only on Steve. He came to his son's bedroom door, finding it closed. "Steve?"

Steve's back pressed against the door, the sensation creating a physical link to hold him in the present, as whispered prayers came from his lips. "God, I'm okay. Please help me know I'm okay."

Nicholas turned the knob, realizing the door wouldn't open. "Please let me in, Son."

Steve scooted away from the door, allowing it to open. "I'm sorry, Dad. I just- I had to get away for a minute. That's all."

Nicholas crouched down beside Steve. "You looked like something scared you out there."

Steve opened his eyes, his resolve threatening to melt. "You know how I get kind of jumpy sometimes, especially at night."

"But I also know that doesn't just happen for no reason."

Steve met Nicholas' eyes, his resolve turning to steel again, knowing his dad's predictable reaction to the true reason that existed. "It's just cause of, you know, what we were talking about."

Nicholas nodded, even as a feeling of uncertainty made him want to push further. "All right, Son. Do you feel calmer now though?"

Steve's nod mirrored Nicholas', as he gathered the strength to speak once more. "Yeah. I think so. I'm okay, Dad." He managed a smile, one that he knew would be reassuring. "Because I know I'm just here with you."

The piano's musical notes filled the sanctuary, a song of praise bringing life to the congregation.

Nicholas clapped his hands, singing along with the lyrics that were now familiar to him.

Samuel, his fingers moving naturally along the piano keys, closed his eyes, singing the last chorus of the morning worship.

Steve felt a tap on his shoulder, and he turned to see Grace standing behind him.

Grace gave Steve a smile, then put her hand over one of his, giving it a squeeze. "I just wanted to say hi. And I really hope you're doing all right. I've been praying for you."

Steve nodded, hearing the song beginning to come to a close. "Um, thanks for that. I still need it."

The last notes of the music playing, Grace released Steve's hand. "I still really want to help, so please let me know if there's anything else you need, or even if you just want to talk again."

Steve could hear the sincerity in Grace's voice, and he gave her a smile of appreciation, before she went back to sit with Pastor David.

The congregation all took their seats, as Samuel moved from the piano bench to the podium, then opened his Bible to the New Testament.

Soda stared at the altar, Steve's words from the Sunday before still on his mind, those moments they'd shared an echo in his heart. He reached for his best friend's shoulder, holding onto it, as he mouthed a silent prayer: Thank you, God. Thank you for listening to me.

Steve looked at Soda, as Samuel introduced his sermon, the grip on his shoulder drawing his attention. "You okay, buddy?"

Soda nodded, as he let go of Steve's shoulder and gave him a grin. "Yeah. I am."

Nicholas read along with Samuel in the third chapter of Mark, first about how many people followed Jesus to the sea, seeking after him to be healed, then about how he appointed his twelve disciples.

Samuel, his organized notes that outlined the sermon right in front of him, paused, his eyes moving back up to a previous verse and a thought he'd jotted down in the margin. "Before I go any further, I'd like to back up a little bit to verse thirteen."

Steve looked on with Nicholas, his gaze going over the printed words of the verse, as Samuel reread it: "And he went up on the mountain and called to him those whom he desired, and they came to him."

Samuel looked up from his notes and then around the sanctuary, a place he considered a refuge. "The word 'desired' jumped out at me here, even though what I'm about to say isn't the overall message of the sermon. It's about seeking God and about how Jesus lived his ministry, but I would like to go down a different path for just a minute. This verse doesn't just say Jesus chose his disciples, it says he desired them. That means he wanted them. He wanted them with him. The word 'desire' indicates a strong feeling of longing or yearning. So upon reading this, I couldn't help but think about how God wants you and me. He desires for us to follow Jesus, to have peace, to be saved. He wants us, every part of our hearts and souls."

Steve touched the page of the open Bible, his finger brushing over the words Samuel was discussing, as he whispered to Nicholas. "I really like that, Dad. I like being wanted. It's nice to think about."

Nicholas patted Steve's shoulder, whispering back. "It is nice, Son. I like it too."

Samuel continued expanding his thought, veering even more off the path of his outline. "And thinking about how God wants me and you, about how he desires us, made me also think about how he accepts us. Just as we are, we can come to him. All we have to bring is our selves, and he's there with forgiveness and the unconditional love only he can give. He's there with acceptance and open arms that reach out and draw me and you close to him to hold us and make sure we know he's always there. I'm sure I speak for everyone in the room when I say we've all been hurt or rejected in some way or another. Jesus was hurt and rejected. But, because of that sacrifice, God will never stop loving or wanting us." Samuel's eyes scanned the room, his heart for sharing God's love and the gospel leading his next words. "So if you've never asked God to forgive you of your sins, if you've never asked Jesus into your heart, please do it today. He loves you. He wants you. He'll never reject you when you seek after him. He'll hold onto you, and even when it's hard for you to hold onto him because of the pain or trauma in your life, he still won't let go."

The sheets of music moved through Samuel's fingers, as he sorted them from his place on a front row pew.

Steve walked up behind him, taking a seat on the second row. "Hey. Um, I didn't tell you the other day at your house, but thanks for listening. Really, for more than that though. I'm not sure how to explain it."

Samuel looked up at Steve, leaving the music in its present order. "Of course. It's what I'm here for."

Steve scooted to the edge of his seat, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the back of the pew in front of him. "It hurts to talk about that stuff, but knowing you care enough to listen and pray for me, then even let me cry and all... Well, it meant a lot to me."

"Honestly, it means a lot to me that you'd come to me with that, Steve. We can talk anytime."

Steve glanced across the church, seeing his dad talking to Pastor David and Soda speaking to Vivian. "Soda knows about the flashbacks. The day after we talked, I had a hard time with them kind of a lot, and I said some things to him. When he asked about it later, I think he'd even already figured out what was going on with me."

"So what'd he say?"

"He just told me I could talk to him, like he always does. And I know he means it. He knows there's some stuff I don't want to tell him and why. I think he gets it too."

"You both seem like you're always very understanding of one another."

"Cause we are." Steve watched Nicholas shake hands with Pastor David, then start speaking to Grace. "I kind of wanted to tell my dad last night, but he always feels so guilty about stuff. It wasn't as bad, but he saw one of the flashbacks happen too. I told him I just got spooked cause of what we were talking about. Which is sort of true."

"You think he'd still feel guilty if you just told him the memories are bothering you?"

"Yeah. I do." Steve saw Nicholas making his way over to them. "Besides, I know if I even told him that much, it'd be hard not to say a lot more."

The ice landed in the glass, followed by the lemonade Clara poured, filling it to the top. "All right. I truly understand. But even if we don't work out, I'd never hurt Steve."

Nicholas tucked a strand of hair behind Clara's ear. "Oh. I know that. But he always has to come first, no matter how I might be feeling about anyone."

Clara set the pitcher of lemonade down between them, a smile of her face, as she gazed at Nicholas. "Might be feeling, huh? I know exactly what I'm feeling, sweetheart, and there's no denying it."

The second hand on Nicholas' watch silently ticked, as he found the words to speak to Samuel. "I really appreciate you being there for Steve. He needs as much of that as he can get."

Samuel studied Nicholas, knowing the tone of his voice was a clue to something his friend wasn't saying. "Just like I told him, it's what I'm here for."

Nicholas let out a breath, as he saw Steve and Soda step outside the church. "I know there's something he isn't talking to me about. I'd never ask you to break his trust, but-"

Samuel rested his hand on Nicholas' arm. "Hey, just give him a little time. I think you know how it can help sometimes to talk to someone who's not so close to what's going on."

Nicholas couldn't help but smile. "Not so close, huh? I wouldn't say you're far away from any of it now."

Samuel smiled back, the meaning clear to him. "Point taken. But I haven't known you for that long, and I wasn't around when Steve was a kid."

"You'll tell me if he says anything I really need to know?"

"Of course, Nicholas. I already told you that."

"But when you did, you also said he hadn't talked to you about anything I didn't already know, and he wasn't keeping anything from me." Nicholas stood to his feet, pacing right in front of Samuel. "So it seemed different then."

"But it's still true. I promise. You can still trust me."

"I know. I know I can. I'm sorry. I just-" Nicholas turned to look at Samuel, noticing the smile on his face that only seemed to be growing wider. "What? What did I say?"

Samuel shook his head, unable to hide what resembled amusement. "Nothing. You and Steve just amaze me. If you want to know the whole truth, it makes me miss my son that much more, but you two- It's a beautiful blessing to me to even get to see it and to have the chance to know both of you." Samuel paused for a moment, collecting his thoughts that mixed with both joy and grief. "Because you're so much alike in the way you love each other."

The dominoes toppled over, falling into one another with a collective clacking sound, as Soda thought of what he'd yet to tell Steve. "I'm glad I went on that date last night, man."

Steve started to pick up the dominoes, beginning to arrange the tiles in a line again. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. Penny was real nice. I like her. But I don't know, it's different than when I've said that before."

"You going to see her again?"

"I'd like to." Soda picked up one of the dominoes, the numerical dots on the tile staring back at him, as he placed it in the line Steve had started. "It sounds weird, Stevie, cause I know I just met her. But I feel like I care about her already."

The pages of the photo album turned, the images filling Vivian anew with a longing for her little boy, the grief still existing after all this time. She focused on a picture of Matthew as a baby of about six months old, his chubby cheeks caught in a smile, his blue eyes looking right at the camera lens.

Vivian pulled the photo out from underneath the protective covering and touched her baby boy's freckled face, her finger tracing the curls of his hair. "I could never replace you, my little one. But I can't deny it any longer."

The porch swing swayed, the links of the chain cold against Steve's fingers. "I don't know, Dad. But I don't want you to worry. It's not like I'm keeping everything inside."

Nicholas plucked the lit cigarette from Steve's hand and put it between his lips, inhaling the taste of it.

Steve raised an eyebrow, a combination of concern and amusement in his features. "I would've given you one. You didn't have to take mine."

Nicholas breathed out the smoke, then handed the cigarette back to Steve. "I know. That's all I wanted though."

Steve took a drag off the cigarette, unsure at first of how to reply. "So what else are you thinking about?"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. It just seems like when you smoke or do anything else, there's always more to it." Steve took one more puff of the cigarette, before he put it out. "Should I be worried about you too?"

Nicholas smiled, his heart swelling, as he remembered Samuel's words from earlier that afternoon.

"What? You look like you're about to laugh. Or maybe cry. I'm not too sure."

"I may do both, Son. Samuel's right. We sure are a lot alike."