Author's Note: Hello All. It meant a lot to me to see that people were still interested in this story after a year. I've obviously kept writing. The reviews I got for Chapter 33 encouraged me to try to stick with it, and then the fall finale put me back in a Dawsey state of mind. At this point though, how long it lasts is anyone's guess.
Speaking of the fall finale, I know it's been a month, but I do want to share my thoughts on it (sorry...this becomes my only outlet to get these things out). Going into the episode I was both excited and absolutely terrified. Now that I've seen it though, I feel like it was everything we could have hoped for as Dawsey fans given that Monica was just doing an episode and not back for good. It was so obvious that Dawsey still love each other and that neither is really over the other. Earlier in the episode you could see that Matt was both excited to see her but also in defensive-mode, which is totally understandable, but when he (and by extension we) discovered that she'd really come back to Chicago for him, it was like he and I were both squealing inside. I've always told myself that Gabby chose to stay in Puerto Rico because after their big blow up in the finale, she thought Matt was better off without her, that she needed to set him free so he could find someone who could give him the child he'd always wanted and who didn't keep hurting him the way she thought she did. And that Matt let her go without a fight because he thought Puerto Rico made her happier than he did. It was this really tragic situation where they were both trying to be selfless and put the other's needs before there own (loving each other enough to let them go), but that if they had actually sat down and talked, they would have discovered that they both really wanted and needed was each other and that all they were doing was causing both of them a lot of unnecessary heartbreak. Having not watched, I don't have any real sense of how it played out on screen, but I suspect that wasn't really it. Still, telling myself that is the only source of solace I have as a Dawsey fan. Now I've added to it the idea that Gabby came back to Chicago to see if there was still a chance for her and Matt to have a future.
And having watched the episode, I definitely feel like there's a chance. While it may be stupid, their interaction in the episode and the voicemail Gabby left inviting Matt to come visit her, gave me hope. I really thought Derek's teasing that it could open the door for Dawsey was him trying to hype things and string us along, but it definitely felt like the door was being opened. Obviously there being any follow through is dependent on Monica being willing to come back on occasion, but based on the interviews Monica and Derek gave before and after the episode aired, I feel like they're both open to it and its a real possibility. After all, in Monica's interview with TVLine, she basically said that she'd be willing to guest on the show again (maybe even at least semi-regularly), and in multiple interviews Derek said that a) he's not going to stop asking Monica to come back/appear in some capacity and b) the writers have talked about the possibility of Dawson getting pregnant as a result of Dawsey's hookup and that sort of storyline would require some type of commitment from Monica even if it's not a full time return. I would very much settle for Dawsey being happy together off-screen and Gabby popping in from time to time ala Cindy and Donna. That said as much as I would love a Dawsey baby, I hope they don't make Gabby get pregnant right now. When/if Dawsey get back together, I don't want the haters to be able to make any sort of argument that it only happened because he knocked her up.
There's this little voice in my head, that a bigger voice is telling me not to listen to but sometime I can't help it, that's reminding me that over a year ago, Derek said that his original plan for the beginning of season 7 was for Casey to go down to Puerto Rico, fight for Dawson, and bring her home, and that Monica opting to leave is the only reason that didn't happen. And that voice is telling me that maybe he still intends to write that story...just later than he originally thought, and that what happened with Dawsey in the fall finale is the beginning of him laying the ground work for it to happen. Whether there's a definite plan in place for it to happen in the short-term or long-term or if it's just Derek keeping the door open in the hopes that he'll get to actually write it someday, I have no idea, but it kind of feels like that's what this episode was setting up. Of course I'm well aware that this may have just been the show throwing us a bone before doing something else to devastate us, but I can't get that voice in my head to shut up. I've totally gone down a rabbit hole I shouldn't have, haven't I?
As for the rest of the episode, I honestly thought it was kind of meh. I don't know how much of it was because I haven't been watching and am less invested in things than I used to be or if it was really just the overall episode (season 6 was very hit or miss for me, which probably made the decision to stop watching post-Dawsey easier) or if I was just mentally trying to protect myself from getting invested in the show again, but I found myself not really caring or enjoying anything outside of Dawsey. I was actually really looking forward to seeing Severide and Kidd and Hermann and Boden and Cruz again even if it was likely only going to be for one episode because I have missed them. But we barely saw Hermann and Boden...Hermann had like what one line in the whole episode? Kidd's exhaustion and Severide's arson case fell flat for me. I wasn't even touched by Cruz's storyline...although I strongly suspect my not having watched Otis's death and the aftermath (although I did read about it) was bound to lessen the emotional impact of the whole thing.
Anyways, enough of me babbing. That's not really why you're here. Onto Chapter 34. Hope you guys enjoy it, and as always, when you get to the end, please let me know what you think.
Chapter Thirty Four
"Hey. You almost ready?" Matt asked as he walked into his and Gabby's bedroom.
"Yeah. Just need a couple more minutes," Gabby replied as she grabbed a t-shirt and threw it into the small duffle bag on her bed. The larger suitcase she was going to need for the next two weeks had been fully packed since yesterday and was already out by the front door. Now she just needed to finish grabbing what she was going to need for tonight.
"Isn't that my shirt?" Matt caught sight of the object as he came up to her and started running his hands up and down her bare arms.
"Well, if I'm going to be stuck spending the night away from you, I might as well have a piece of you with me. I know it's not going to be as comforting as being in your arms, but maybe it'll be like in a way you're there with me," Gabby said as she leaned back into Matt's chest. The feeling of his dress shirt against the exposed part of her back making everything suddenly feel more real. The reality of the fact that they were actually in this moment, that they'd made it this far hitting her in a way in hadn't before, and she couldn't help but smile.
"So that's why you waited until the last minute to pack for tonight, huh? Figured I'd be distracted and wouldn't notice you stealing my clothes," Matt teased.
"You caught me," Gabby let out a laugh. That wasn't the real reason she'd put on the cream colored spaghetti strap dress she'd bought specifically for tonight or done her makeup before putting her necessities in her overnight bag, but she didn't think that really mattered.
"What's wrong?" Matt spun her around so that she was facing him. It was almost like he could sense that there was more going on in her head. He must know her too well.
"Nothing," she tried to brush is off his concern.
"Hey. It's me," Matt stroked her cheek, clearly not buying it. "You know you can tell me anything."
"I know, and nothing's wrong. I mean it," Gabby offered him a reassuring smile. "It's weird though. Good weird but still weird. These are my last few minutes in this apartment as your fiancé," she gulped as she tried not to think about the other time she was here as his fiancée for the last time. She couldn't bring it up. Matt wouldn't know what she was talking about, and this time it was for a much better reason. There was absolutely no reason for her to go there. "You're coming back here tonight, and I'm not so next time I'm here, I'm going to be your wife. And I can't wait to be your wife. It's something I've wanted to a long time, but it's still a strange thing to think about. Is being here going to feel different? Am I going to feel different?"
"Nothing is going to be different. Okay, there'll be another ring on your finger and a ring on my finger. Those rings and a piece of paper are going to symbolize the fact that the commitment we've already made to each other in our hearts were made aloud for the world to hear. And I'll probably be even more proud to call you my wife than I am to call you my fiancée and my girl. Nothing else is going to be different though. Who we are individually and together that's not going to change," Matt reassured her.
"I know," Gabby paused for a minute. "I'm being silly."
"No, you're not being silly," he insisted. "I get it. I don't think I would have said weird, but I keep thinking about it too. I guess if I had to describe how it feels, I'd say knowing that we're getting married tomorrow is a bit surreal, but it feels amazing too."
"It does, and I want you to know that I'm not nervous or scared or anything. Not about marrying you at least. I fully expect to have nightmares tonight about tripping on my way down the aisle or losing my voice and having to whisper my vows or something. But marrying you is one thing I am completely sure of. I don't want you to think that that's what this is about," Gabby started.
"I know that's not what it's about," Matt cut in.
"Good," she smiled before getting up on her toes to give him a kiss. "And I am really excited and happy to know that in a little over twenty four hours from now we'll be married. Speaking of that though, if I don't get back to packing, we're going to be late to our own wedding rehearsal."
"Well, we wouldn't want that," he replied. "Anything I can do to help?"
"Yeah. Can you grab my stuff by the bathroom sink?" Gabby asked.
"Of course," Matt said before heading into the bathroom, returning with the items she's requested a minute later.
"All set," Gabby said as she took her stuff from him and threw it into her bag. "Well, I just need shoes but then I'm all set."
She grabbed the box containing the strappy, heeled sandals that matched the dress she was wearing and that she'd bought specifically for the occasion from her closet before sitting down on the bed to put them on. Once that was done, Matt grabbed her bag from the bed, and the couple walked hand in hand through the apartment and out the door, heading for Matt's truck. As they crossed the threshold to their apartment, Gabby couldn't help but think that next time she walked through this doorway, she'd be Mrs. Matthew Casey.
"Hi guys," Gabby said as she and Matt entered Firehouse Chicago to find most of their family and wedding party waiting for them.
"Hey," Shay came up to her and gave her a hug. "The big day's practically here."
"I know," Gabby replied. "I'm sure I'll say it a thousand more times over the next twenty four hours but thank you so much."
"You don't need to thank me Dawson. I'm thrilled for you and Casey and honored to be part of this," Shay insisted. "You know I'm here for you. Always."
They hung around near the entrance for several more minutes and made small talk while they waited for the few remaining stragglers to arrive. When everyone was there, they started walking towards where the ceremony would be. Once they got there, she took a quick look around and was relieved to see that everything seemed to be in its place. Nothing was setup yet, which made sense since the wedding wasn't until the following evening. With an outside ceremony, the venue wouldn't want to risk it. Fortunately, the forecast called for a nice night and wonderful day tomorrow. At this point, she'd be surprised if they had to move the ceremony indoors.
"Hello and welcome," a woman's voice pulled Gabby back to the current moment. "Matt and Gabby and maybe some others here know me, but most of you don't. My name is Joanne. I work here at Firehouse Chicago and will be assisting with everything tonight and tomorrow."
Next the officiant introduced himself and then started to explain how the wedding rehearsal would work.
"If any of you have never participated in a wedding before, you're probably thinking that we're going to run through the ceremony itself tonight. We're not. We're not even going to go through things in the same order they're going to happen tomorrow. Instead we're going to start with making sure everyone knows where they'll be standing during the ceremony, beginning with the bride and groom. Gabby, Matt will you please come with me."
They followed him towards the front of the area, stopping when they reached a spot of grass in front of several trees. Once there, he turned to face them.
"Gabby take a couple more small steps and Matt move a little bit towards your right," he directed them, putting a hand up when he was satisfied. "Good. Now turn to face each other."
Joanne then took over directing Shay and Gabby's bridesmaids where to stand followed by Severide, who was Matt's best man, and the groomsmen. After the entire wedding party was in place, she instructed Gabby's parents and then Matt's mom on where to sit. While a couple of Gabby's cousins along with Eva and Diego weren't in the actual bridal party, she and Matt had asked them to deliver some readings that the couple had picked out for their wedding so they took seats in order to practice walking up to the microphone. When everyone was situated, the officiant took over again, explaining the ceremony in detail without actually conducting it.
"And after you say your vows, you'll exchange rings," the officiant said as he got towards the end of the ceremony. "My understanding is that you don't have a ring bearer. Is that correct?"
"Yes," Matt answered. While one of Gabby's cousin's twin daughters were serving as flower girls, the youngest male member of either of their families was Diego, and he was too old to serve as ring bearer.
"I'll have the rings," Severide piped in from his spot next to Matt.
"Okay then. I'll ask for the rings, and you'll give Matt's ring to Gabby and Gabby's ring to Matt," the officiant instructed.
"Sounds simple enough," Severide replied.
"Then Matt and Gabby, the two of you will exchange rings. Matt first. Then Gabby. Once that's done, I'll pronounce you husband and wife and say 'you may kiss the bride,'" the officiant continued.
"Can I kiss her now?" Matt asked, prompting laughter from most of their friends and family. "Well, it can't hurt to practice," he defended himself.
"Like you and Dawson would ever actually need to practice kissing each other," Shay teased.
Ignoring Shay, Matt pulled Gabby in for a quick kiss, which she happily returned. No one had technically said no after all.
"Ewww. Gross," one of the flower girls said.
"Oh honey. You just wait til your older," Gabby's cousin Isabella told her daughter.
"Much much older," Isabella's husband added, prompting another round of laughter from the crowd.
"Alright let's bring it back here," Joanne took over after clearing her throat in an attempt to get everyone's attention. "At this point, you'll be introduced to your guests and then the recessional will begin. We'll start at the end and then work our way towards Matt and Gabby, who obviously will walk back down the aisle last. The two of you on the ends will go pretty much as soon as the music starts. Then there'll be about a thirty second pause before the next two will go through all three bridesmaids and groomsmen, the maid of honor and best man, and the bride and groom. I'll be in the back cuing you. When you get down the aisle, turn left and then go through the door."
She paused and walked down the aisle, stopping when she was several feet behind the last row of chairs.
"Alright, let's get started," she added once she was in place, kicking off the recessional and then the processional. When they were done, she spoke again. "Anyone have any questions?"
"No," Camila said from her in the front of the seating area as everyone else shook their heads.
"Alright then. I'll see you all tomorrow," Joanne replied. "Everyone know how to get out of here?"
"Yeah," Gabby replied.
As their families and wedding party started to head out, Gabby squeezed Matt's hand. She wanted one more moment with him in the spot where they'd be saying I do.
"Next time is for real," she said once they were alone.
"I know," he released her hand, turning to face her and giving her a smile. "I can't wait to see you at the end of the aisle tomorrow."
"I can't wait either. I know I was a little freaked out earlier," she started.
"Gabby, you don't need to keep apologizing for that," Matt cut in to reassure her.
"I know. I just want to make sure you to know that I love you more than anything else in the world and that there is no doubt in my mind that tomorrow is going to wind up being the happiest day of my life to this point, that fifty years from now, I'm going to look back at our wedding and it will still be one of the happiest days of my life. You Matthew Casey are the best thing that ever happened to me, and I don't want to get into what's going to be in my vows tomorrow, I want that to be special, but there is no one I'd rather walk through life with," Gabby said.
"I feel the same way, and I love you too. So much," Matt replied before pulling her into passionate kiss.
"So what do you guys think?" Gabby asked her friends and Matt's family a few minutes after they were served dinner. To honor her family, they were having their rehearsal dinner at a Dominican restaurant. While her family had eaten Dominican food their whole lives and Matt had developed a taste for it since she cooked it at home semi-regularly, it wasn't something she'd ever made at a firehouse or typically made when having friends over so she was pretty sure this was the first time pretty much everyone else had tried the cuisine.
"It's fine," Severide replied although he didn't sound enthusiastic.
"Well, I think it's really great," Shay added. "I know you cook Dominican. I can't believe you've never made this stuff at the house."
"Too late now," Gabby smiled. "After tomorrow, I'll never be allowed to work on 81 again, which means there's no way I'm coming back to 51."
"You could always try for Squad," Severide interjected. "If Casey trusts Woods with your life, I'm sure he'd trust me."
"As much as I miss working with you guys, I'm actually pretty happy at 13. Fifty One will always be my home and family, but I think I've got a good thing going there, and Matt and I are obviously in a really great place. I mean we're getting married tomorrow. There was a time where I didn't know if all of us would even be here, but we are. You know what my life has turned out pretty great so why rock the boat?" Gabby replied.
"So that's a no to Squad," Severide surmised.
"Sorry Kelly, but I'm a Truck girl," Gabby teased.
"And that's one of the reason's I love her," Matt finally said something.
"Oh please, you loved her before the idea of Dawson on Truck ever came up. You've loved her since she was an Ambo girl," Shay pointed out.
"True. I've always loved her, and I always will. No matter what she does," Matt smiled.
They continued to make small talk throughout dinner. Then just as desert was about to be served, Antonio stood up.
"Can I have everyone's attention?" he started. "So I know there'll be plenty of speeches tomorrow, but since I'm not giving one of them, I thought I'd say something now if that's okay."
"Go ahead," Gabby said. She was curious as to what her brother was going to say. Next to her Matt nodded.
"So this will probably come as a surprise to all of you who know how close Gabby and I are these days, but when my parents first told me I was going to be a big brother, I wasn't excited. I wasn't upset about it either though. The idea of a sibling seemed like something that wasn't going to have much of an impact on me. Having been an only child for ten years, maybe it should have felt like a big change, suddenly having someone else in the house, someone I was going to have to share my parents with, but I guess I figured that given the age difference she'd just be someone who was there, not someone I would bond with or who would be a big part of my life. I'd just do my own thing and having a sibling wouldn't change that.
"Then after she was born, I decided having a baby sister was really annoying," he continued before getting cut off.
"Hey," Gabby interrupted him. "It's the night before my wedding. When you give a speech, you're supposed to say nice things about Matt and me, not stop being nice. I guess it's a good thing we didn't ask you say something tomorrow. Maybe we shouldn't have asked you to stand up there with us though." She stuck her tongue out at him.
"Well, you cried all the time. Forget Mom and Dad, I didn't get a good night's sleep for months because you woke me up," Antonio let out a chuckle as he teased her. "And you got all the attention. Who wants to see the fifth grader when there's this cute, little baby to coo at, and I do have to admit, you were cute. I had a little league game when you got your first ear infection. Hit a game winning home run too, but no one was there because they had to take you to the hospital. So I quickly learned that it did impact my life, and I didn't really like it. I wanted to go back to being an only child.
"And when Gabby was a toddler, she started following me around and always trying to get me to play with her. Most of my friends teased me for it, but one day my parents had me take Gabby to the park for the afternoon. This girl I had a crush on was there and thought it was sweet how I was taking care of my baby sister so for a few months she was my wing-girl," that line drew a chuckle from the crowd. "And I started to appreciate having a little sister. Not just because she was helping me with the ladies, but I realized one day that I enjoyed seeing her smiling and happy and laughing. I remember having a friend over and we were up in my room and all of a sudden he's making fun of me because I have a few drawings that Gabby made in preschool and gave to me on the wall. Until that moment, I hadn't even thought about it. I'd just put them up. That was when I knew I had grown attached to her.
"And finally, one day I took her to the park to be my wing-girl again. I let her roam around the playground area pretty much on her own so I could talk with Andrea. That was the girl I had a crush on and was using Gabby to impress. I thought Gabby would just play on the swings or the jungle gym. That what she normally did. That morning she decided it would be fun to try the monkey bars. She was only three and a half, and I'm not even sure how she managed to get up there. But one minute Andrea and I are laughing and the next we're hearing Gabby screaming and crying. She'd fallen off the monkey bars and broken her arm.
"I felt terrible about the whole thing and not just because I wound up getting grounded. I was supposed to be watching her, and I knew that she was too young for the monkey bars; our parents had made sure of that. I didn't do that though, and because of that, my baby sister was lying on the ground, writhing and screaming in pain. At first, I had no idea how badly she was hurt. Mom had to take her the hospital, and that's how we found out. At the park, it was just that Andrea and I couldn't get her to stop crying, and I had to carry her home. And during that three block walk, with a screaming little Gabby in my arms, I decided that I never wanted to see her in pain again, that I never wanted to see or hear her cry like that again. Gabby, you probably don't remember it, but on the way home that day, I promised you that I would do everything in my power to keep anything or anyone from ever hurting you again, to keep you safe and happy.
"So Matt, I like you a lot. I gave you my blessing when you said you wanted to marry her, and I meant it. I know you love her and that you make her happier than I'd ever seen her. You're a good guy, in a lot of ways the type of guy I always wanted her with. But I made a promise that I have every intention of keeping. And if you ever hurt her, if she sheds one tear because of you, none of that is going to matter. I'm coming after you."
"I'd never do anything that I thought would hurt her," Matt piped in. "I love her too much for that."
Meanwhile, Gabby just glared at her brother. While the story of how he came to care about her was sweet, she did not appreciate him giving a speech threatening her fiancée the night before their wedding. Antonio must have caught her glare too because when he spoke again, he'd changed his tune.
"Look sis, I love you. I'm honored to be your brother. I know that you deserve the world, and I hope Matt gives that to you. I want all your dreams to come true. May the two of you enjoy a long life together filled with happiness and love, and may that life be everything you want it to be. I couldn't be more thrilled for the two of you or happy to welcome Matt into the family," Antonio concluded.
"Here. Here," Shay called with a laugh as she raised her glass, and everyone toasted the couple.
Once Antonio was seated and their guests had turned their attention towards dessert, Gabby turned her attention to Matt.
"You know my dreams are already coming true because of you," she said quietly. "For a long time, I dreamed of us. I just thought it was some silly fantasy that could never come true. I knew you cared about me and thought of me as a good friend, but the idea that you could ever feel for me what I always felt for you seemed crazy. Not just because you were happy with Hallie, but because I –"
"Hey, I always felt something more than friendship for you," Matt cut in. "I was just afraid to admit it. Not because of Hallie but because I didn't want to lose you. If I gave in to what I felt for you, and we didn't work out. Well, having you in my life as one of my best friends was better than not having you at all. And even before we were together, my feelings for you were stronger than they had ever been for anyone else, including Hallie. I was scared of how strong they were, what actually giving into them would mean, so it made easier to decide I had a good thing going and I shouldn't screw it up, but looking back, it wasn't just the disagreement over kids that kept her and me from working. Not to say I didn't love her. I did, just not nearly as much as I love you, and deep down I think I knew I was settling. I just couldn't actually admit it to myself let alone say it out loud because it would have meant admitting that I was in love with you and that terrified me.
"Gabby, all the times where it seemed like we could have tried but didn't. The night I came over to fix your window and wound up leaving because of Vargas. Obviously, Vargas needed my help, that wasn't just an excuse, but I could have come back afterwards, tried to pick up where we left off. If I was a smarter man, I would have. And that night at your cousin's Christmas party when you tried to kiss me, and I pulled away, I told myself if was because you didn't need to get pulled into everything with my mom, which is ironic because in the end, I needed you to get through it. The truth is that was just another excuse so that I didn't have to face what my feelings for you meant, so that I didn't have to risk everything on the chance that we could work. And I figured that you deserved a better man than me, someone without my baggage –"
"Matthew Casey, there is no better man than you, no matter how much baggage you have," it was Gabby's turn to cut him off. "And I'm so glad you stopped being afraid."
"Me too," Matt agreed.
"Why did you?" Gabby asked.
"That day in the car when the flames came in and I had to shield you. If you'd been in there on your own, you would have been hurt or worse. When we got out, it hit me that you could have died, and I knew that if you had, I'd look back and regret never having tried with you, not giving us a chance. And the thought of spending the rest of my life like that scared me even more than my love for you did," Matt explained.
"If the two of you aren't going to eat your Tres Leches, I'll take them for the kids," Antonio called from his spot down the table, interrupting the moment between the couple. It wasn't clear to Gabby if he knew they were in the midst of an intimate conversation or if it was an innocent remark. She did however see Diego staring at her plate.
"We're eating. We're eating," she called back to her brother before picking up her fork to take a bite.
"Thanks again you guys. I'll see you tomorrow," Gabby told Severide and Shay.
"You don't need to thank me Dawson," Shay replied. "You know I'm almost as excited as you are.
Gabby then leaned in to give Shay a hug while Matt shook Severide's hand before the pair became the last of their rehearsal dinner guests to depart, leaving Gabby, Matt, and her parents alone in the restaurant.
"We should get going. Big day tomorrow," Ramon said.
"I just need to get my bag for tonight out of Matt's truck," Gabby pointed out. "I'll meet you guys at the car."
"Alright," Camila replied before she and Ramon headed out ahead of Gabby and Matt.
"You know we never really got to finish our conversation about dreams earlier," Gabby said as she took Matt's hand they started to head towards his truck.
"There something you want me to tell you about?" Matt asked.
"More like something I want to tell you," she clarified. "I've wanted this, us not just together, but all of this, us together for life, getting married and growing old together, for longer than I'm comfortable admitting. For so long I didn't think it was possible, and I didn't even dare to hope. Then we got together and things got serious, realizing it actually was not just possible but likely was just amazing and it made me want it even more. And I know things weren't always easy. There was a time when we almost fell apart, and I wasn't sure we would ever actually get here. But I want you to know that no matter how bad things got between us, I never stopped wanting us to get here, to make it and grow old together. You and me. That's the only dream that matters."
"You're everything to me too, but it's not a dream Gabby. It's our life, and I couldn't be happier. I love you," Matt replied.
"I love you too," Gabby said before letting out a little laugh just as they reached the truck. "God, do you think everyone gets this sentimental the night before their wedding?"
"No idea," Matt let go of her hand in order to unlock the truck. They stood in silence for a moment while Gabby reached in to grab her overnight bag.
"So," Gabby started before trailing off. Now that she had the bag, there was no reason for her not to join her parents, but she wasn't ready to say goodbye to Matt yet. She knew it was foolish. It was just one night, but she felt like she needed to hold onto this moment.
"Hey, I'm gonna miss you tonight. Our bed is going to feel pretty empty without you," Matt put a hand on her shoulder. It was like he sensed what was going through her head. Maybe he had. "But it's not like we've never spent the night apart. I mean we spend the night apart every few days when we're on shift."
"This isn't exactly the same as being on shift. I'm going to be at my parents', and you're going to be at home, not in an office several feet away. That's part of our normal routine. This isn't," Gabby disagreed.
"No. Tonight's special. It's the night before we get married, and yeah, I wish we could spend it together. But just think about what we'll be doing tomorrow night," Matt's words made Gabby smirk. "Look at it this way. The sooner we get to sleep, the sooner tomorrow will be here and I'll be at the altar and you'll be walking down the aisle and we'll be married. It's just one night, and then our future begins."
"Well, when you put it like that it doesn't sound so bad," Gabby replied. "Although I am going to miss you like crazy, and I wish I could spend tonight at home with you."
"I'm going to miss you too," Matt said before she leaned in to kiss him.
"I guess I should get going," Gabby said quietly once their lips had parted. "Have a good night."
"You too," Matt said.
Matt held onto her hand as she started to walk away. Turning back towards him, Gabby gave him a quizzical look, but he just smiled and nodded in response. She realized that since were going to have to spend the night apart, he just wanted to hold onto her for as long as possible, and she gave his hand a squeeze in response. As she got further away, she extended her arm so that they could still grasp each other until finally only their fingers were touching, and then nothing.
"Gabby," Matt called after her.
"Yeah," she stopped and turned back around to face him.
"If you want to talk or anything tonight, give me a call, not matter what time," Matt offered.
"Thanks babe," she replied.
When Gabby woke up, she was surprised to discover it was light out. Between being away from Matt, excitement, and nerves, she'd expected to get a horrible night's sleep, but instead she'd fallen asleep practically the moment her head hit the pillow and had slept soundly all night. She hadn't even called Matt, and she'd really wanted to for both their sakes. He'd made it sound like he was offering his ear at any point during the night to help her get through it, but she knew him too well to buy that. He wanted to hear her voice last night just as much she wanted to hear his. Hopefully, calling in the morning would work just as well.
The first thing she noticed when she grabbed her phone though was that Matt had already texted.
"Morning beautiful. Happy wedding day. Hope you had a good night. I can't wait to see you at the end of the aisle," it read. She thought briefly about replying via text, but she still just really didn't want to wait hours to hear his voice so she quickly backed out of the message and headed to her contacts to call him.
"Casey's phone," she was surprised to hear a different male voice on the other end.
"Kelly Severide where's Matt and what are you doing with his phone this early?" she asked.
"Good morning to you too Dawson," Severide replied with a chuckle. "Casey's in the shower, and it's not that early. It's just after nine, and I came with –"
"What? Nine?" Gabby cut him off as she shot up and looked at the clock that was still on the nightstand. It said 7:28 but it was also blinking, signifying that since she was an adult who no longer lived here, no one had bothered to reset the clock after a power failure so she was forced to pull her phone away to check the time. 9:06. How had she not noticed that when she first grabbed the phone earlier? That was an easy answer; she'd been too distracted by her thoughts of Matt and the fact that he'd texted. The better question was how had her mother let her sleep in this late?
"Dawson," Severide's voice pulled her back to the call. "Is there something you wanted me to tell Casey?"
"Just tell him that I love him, and I can't wait for this afternoon," she requested. "Thanks, Severide. I'll see you later."
She hung up and then went back to Matt's text. If she was stuck leaving a message with Severide, then she was going to reply via text after all.
"Good morning. Last night was better than I thought it would be, but I miss you. I wish I could see you. 8 hours feels like forever. I love you," she wrote.
With that she got out of bed intent on heading downstairs to find her mother. When she got to the doorway though, she paused and took a look around the room, her eyes settling on Trevor, her stuffed giraffe, sitting on the seat in the windowsill. So many of her childhood toys were long gone, but not Trevor, never Trevor. He was one piece of her childhood that was extra special, and she felt a need for the giraffe now. She quickly turned and walked to the window, taking a seat and picking him up.
"Hey," she told the stuffed animal. "You've been with me for a long time. I can't even remember not having you. I'm pretty sure you've been here for every major milestone in my life. Today's another one you know. I'm about to marry the most amazing, wonderful man. He's brave and caring and incredibly sexy. He has this inner strength that just amazes me. Although if I'm honest, pretty much everything about him amazes me. And the way he makes me feel; I don't even know how to describe it other than to say it's better than I ever imagined. I think I have to be one of the luckiest, if not the luckiest, women in the world.
"I know you're not alive or anything and you're not with me every day anymore. I guess I grew up and sort of left you behind, but you're still more to me than just a toy. In a way you're my oldest friend, and I wanted you to know. I hope that in your own little stuffed animal way, you're happy for me."
With that Gabby put Trevor down, got up, and headed out of the room. This time she didn't look back. She had a date with her future this afternoon, and the last thing she wanted was to be late.
When she got downstairs, she found her mother and Shay sitting at the kitchen table and drinking coffee. She cleared her throat as she walked into the room, drawing both women's attention to her.
"Good morning dear," Camila smiled at her.
"Morning," Gabby replied before her voice turned sarcastic. "Although it's a little later than I thought it would have been. Thank you so much for waking me."
"Gabriela," her mother scolded.
"Relax Dawson," Shay piped in. "There's plenty of time. We all know how important today is. You were never in danger of being late for, never mind actually missing, something. Your mother or I would have woken you before we even thought there was a chance of that happening."
"Sorry. There's just so many emotions going through my head right now. I'm happy and excited and nervous and anxious and filled with anticipation. And most of all I miss Matt. I guess it has me a little off kilter," Gabby admitted as she took a seat at the table.
"Don't worry about it. I know how big of a day this is for you," Shay reassured her. "You'll be seeing Casey soon enough though. Just think about how much you needed that sleep. I'm sure he'll be keeping you up all night."
"Shay," Gabby chided as she kicked her best friend under the table, seeing her mother awkwardly look away.
"Oh you know it's true," Shay smirked, clearly unable to help herself, and Gabby had to silently admit that she did know it was true.
"So what's for breakfast?" Gabby quickly changed the subject before things got any more uncomfortable for her mother.
"Your father went out to get bagels. I was going to make eggs but wasn't sure I'd have time to clean up afterwards," Camila informed her.
Then as if on cue, the door opened, and Ramon came in with a bag of bagels.
"Oh yay. I'm starving," Shay said.
"Morning ladies," Ramon greeted them as he walked towards the table. While he'd obviously seen her mother this morning, Gabby got the impression that Shay hadn't been here when he'd left. Once he'd placed the bag down, he gave his daughter a kiss on the cheek.
"Morning Dad," she replied while Shay reached for the bag, grabbing a bagel.
"Stand still," Camila instructed Gabby as she stood in front of the floor length mirror in the bridal suite at Firehouse Chicago.
"Sorry," she sheepishly replied. She wasn't trying to be fidgety; she just couldn't help it. It was the nerves and the excitement as the clocked tick down towards five o'clock. Only thirty minutes to go. More than that though it was how everything somehow managed to become even more real as for the first time she stared at herself in the mirror with the perfect French manicure evident on her firefighter's hands, her makeup perfectly applied, her hair in an updo with a handful of ringlets free and framing her face, and her wedding dress on. She had been transformed into the bride. Well, almost. She couldn't tell by looking at her front in the mirror, but she knew that her wedding dress still needed to be zipped, which was what her mother was doing. Or rather would be doing if she would just stop fidgeting. So taking a deep breath, she willed herself to stand still.
"Don't move. Don't move," she silently repeated the mantra in her head. It seemed to be working too as she felt the zipper moving up her back.
"There we go," her mother said once she'd finished zipping the dress and placed a hand on Gabby's shoulder. "Come, let me see you."
"You already can," Gabby pointed out. Her reflection was clearly visible in the mirror.
The words didn't matter though as Camila used the hand on her shoulder to turn Gabby around.
"My little girl," Camila's voice cracked as she spoke.
"Oh Mom, don't cry," she noticed her mother's eyes watering.
"Dawson, you look absolutely beautiful," Shay interrupted the moment as she excitedly rushed back into the room, having had to step out to greet Trina. "You know it's not too late to switch sides."
"Sorry babe," Gabby didn't miss a beat. "Besides what would Trina say?"
"I think she'd be down for a threesome," Shay smirked.
"I don't even want to know," Gabby mumbled as she started to turn to take another look in the mirror and then get her jewelry.
"Seriously though," Shay's words caused her to pause. "I stopped by the room the guys are getting ready in on my way back. Casey said to tell you that he loves you, and he'll see you soon."
"How sweet," Laura said as she joined them before turning her attention to Shay. "Did you get what you needed?"
"Yeah," Shay replied.
"What do you mean?" Gabby asked. "I thought you were just going to say hi to Trina."
"I did want to see her and say hi and everything, but I also forgot something at home this morning. She brought it with her," Shay explained.
"Gabriela," her mother interrupted. "I know you brought your own jewelry to wear today, but the three of us have a few things that we were hoping you'd wear instead."
"Oh," Gabby simply replied as it dawned on her that there was one bridal tradition they'd never really discussed. She had a feeling that's where this was going, and as Camila spoke again, she was proven right.
"Your abuela gave this to me on my wedding day," Camila held out a gold necklace with a ruby pendant. "Now on your wedding day, it's my turn to give it to you. I, and I'd like to think your abuela, would be honored if you would wear it today."
"I'd be honored too," Gabby smiled before turning around so her mother could put the necklace on her. She and her abuela, her maternal grandmother, had been close, but the woman had passed away during her senior year of high school. She hoped that in wearing the necklace, it would be like her abuela was here with her. What's more, when looking at her parents' wedding photos, she'd always thought the necklace was beautiful. Growing up, she may not have been the girly girl who played with her mother's jewelry, but every so often, she'd sneak into her parents' room, open her mother's jewelry box, take out the necklace, and look at it. As much as she liked the jewelry she'd picked out, she couldn't think of a necklace she's rather wear.
"Thank you," she added once the necklace was securely clasped around her neck and she'd turned back around.
"Now for me," Shay said excitedly as she took out a medium-sized box from her clutch. It obviously didn't hold a necklace and looked too big to hold earrings. Gabby's best guess was that it contained a bracelet. "This is part of my gift to you, but it's also from Casey. He came with me to pick it out, without protesting I should probably add, and we both paid for half. I hope you like it."
"It's beautiful," Gaby gasped as Shay opened the box, revealing yes, a bracelet. It was gold and ruby-studded. Despite the fact that it was about forty years newer, the bracelet went really well with the necklace. If she didn't know any better, she would have thought they were a set. And Gabby couldn't help but wonder how long her mother and Shay had been planning this, if Shay had insisted on crimson bridesmaid dresses because she knew they'd work well the jewelry.
"When Antonio and I first got engaged, you bought me a pair of earrings as an engagement gift. You called it your way of welcoming me to the family," Laura began. "I thought it would be nice if you wore them today."
Gabby remembered the earrings even before Laura handed them to her. They were small gold hoops with one diamond hanging off of each hoop. Well, not really diamonds. Most likely just cubic zirconium. She couldn't have afforded real diamonds back then; she had essentially still been a kid. Laura must have known that, but it didn't make the gesture any less touching.
"Thank you," she smiled at her sister-in-law and then took the earrings.
As soon as she had put the earrings on and taken another look in the mirror, there was a knock on the door.
"Come in," Camila called to whoever was on the other side. In an instant the door opened, revealing Gabby's father.
"It's time," he said.
"Already?" Camila asked.
"Yes," he replied as Gabby's eyes wandered up towards the clock, seeing the hands resting at 4:58. The ceremony was supposed to start in two minutes.
"Well, let's get Matt and me married," Gabby said excitedly as she started to usher everyone out of the room.
"Hold on," Camila said, earning a glare from Gabby. "This will only take a minute. I promise."
"Okay," Gabby said reluctantly as she noticed her mother's pleading eyes.
"Leslie, Laura, and I, we've given you something old, something new, and something borrowed," Camila began. "But we haven't given you something blue yet. I know it's overly simple compared to all the jewelry, but with the red it wouldn't have really worked to incorporate anything there."
"Mom," Gabby interrupted, trying to remind the woman to hurry up. She didn't want to be late to her own wedding.
"All the bouquets have gold, satin ribbons holding them together. I bought a blue, satin ribbon, figuring we could add it to yours," Camila quickly finished and then reached for Gabby's bouquet. Gabby handed it to her and watched as the blue ribbon was added.
"Now can we go get me married?" she asked, prompting Shay to burst out in laughter.
"We can get you married," Camila replied once Shay had stopped laughing.
"Then let's go," Gabby once again ushered everyone out of the bridal suite.
"Someone's impatient," Shay muttered.
The group made their way down the hall towards the back of building and the door that led to the garden where the ceremony was being held. As they approached, they ran into Joanne, the woman stopping them right before they were about to turn the last corner.
"The groom and the groomsmen still need to take their places," Joanne informed them. "So Gabby and Mr. Dawson need to stay here until I signal for them to make sure Matt doesn't see her. The maid of honor and bridesmaids are welcome to move towards the door, and Mrs. Dawson should go take her seat when she's ready. Once she's situated, I'll have Matt and his groomsmen take their places, and we can get started. Sound good?"
"Sounds good," Gabby answered as she tried to signal for everyone else to move forward, still just as impatient as she was a few minutes. While the rest of the bridal party started walking again, her mother stayed rooted to her spot. "Mom?" she questioned.
"Before I go take my seat, I wanted a moment with just you and your father," Camila explained. "I hope that's okay."
"Of course," Gabby replied. As much as she couldn't wait to be Matt's wife, she couldn't deny her mother.
"You know you've been my little girls since the moment you were born. Really the moment your father and I found out you were a girl, if I'm being honest," Camila began. "And even though you're now on the verge of getting married, you're still my little girl. But you're also a woman. A strong, passionate, fierce woman. And I want you to know that I couldn't be more proud of who you've become. And I'm so happy for you, that you've found someone who loves and supports you as much as Matt does and most importantly who makes you as happy as I know you are. There's nothing I've wanted more for you or your brother. When you and Matt have kids, you'll find that what a mother wants most in the world is for her children to find happiness. I am honored to be your mother and to be here with you today."
"Mom," Gabby's voice was filled with emotion as she tried to keep tears at bay. "You're gonna make me cry."
"I'm sorry," Camila replied as she reached to squeeze Gabby's hand. Gabby was having none of it though as she pulled her mother into a tight hug.
"I'm going to go take my seat now," Camila said once the two women had pulled apart, her own eyes having started to water during the hug even though Gabby had regained her own composure.
"Thank you for everything," Gabby gave her mother a small smile before she headed towards the garden.
Gabby and Ramon stood in silence for a few minutes before Joanne signaled for them to join Shay and the bridesmaids.
"How'd Matt look?" Gabby asked once they were out there.
"I don't think I've ever seen him so happy," Shay informed her. "And you'll see him soon enough. Now Dawson what do you say we get you married?"
"Let's do it," Gabby said excitedly, prompting everyone to start lining up. It wasn't long before her bridesmaids had started to head down the aisle and it was just her, her father, and Shay still inside. Then Joanne signaled for Shay to begin her own trek.
"Congrats girl. I'm so excited for you and Casey," Shay said with a smile before she started walking.
Once again Gabby and Ramon stood in silence. Her nerves were completely gone now, and realizing that she was minutes away from becoming Mrs. Matthew Casey, all Gabby could feel was excitement. Then finally the bridal march began to play. She didn't wait for Joanne to cue to her; she just started walking, leaving her father's brain to catch up to her feet. Slowly, they made their way up the aisle. Gabby's eyes quickly looking around, seeing all of their family in friends in attendance, before settling on Shay standing next to the alter and Matt standing on it.
A couple of years ago she thought she had lost them both. Her best friend to death and the love of her life to well life, the path she'd chosen. Now it was so crazy and strange to think about. She couldn't imagine her life without either of them at her side. All she knew was that it wouldn't be even remotely close to as good. She still had no idea why things had suddenly changed, why she'd found herself suddenly sitting in that waiting room with Shay still alive and the chance to make things right with Matt. How she wound up in this world would probably always be a mystery, and she was okay with that. All that mattered was that she was here, in this world, in this moment. In the back of her mind, there'd always been a fear that things would change again, but in this moment, she knew she wouldn't let it. There was no doubt in her mind that she would fight like hell to stay in this world forever.
The smile on her face grew bigger, and then suddenly, everything started fading to black.
BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.
Matt awoke with a start. The first thing he noticed was that it was likely still the middle of the night. That thought was quickly pushed to the back of his mind though as it only took another second for him to identify what woke him. The alarms on the machines Gabby was hooked up to were all going off. He may not be a doctor or a nurse or a paramedic but he had enough basic medical training to know exactly what was going on. Gabby was going into cardiac arrest. Her heart was stopping.
"Oh God," he gasped as he shot up from his cot and raced to Gabby's bedside, taking her hand in his when he got there. "Come on Gabby. Stay with me. I love you. Please stay with me baby. Please stay with me."
A group of doctors and nurses came rushing in, trying to push him away from her bedside.
"Matt, you need to step back and let us work," one of them said. He was too distraught to figure out who said it.
"Come on Gabby. Stay with me," he stayed rooted to his spot. His head was telling him to listen, but his body and his heart were too afraid to move.
"He can't be here," another voice called. Matt knew they were referring to him, but it didn't matter. He couldn't leave Gabby's side or stop begging her to stay with him.
"I'm on it," the first voice said and then he felt himself being pulled away.
"Hang in there Gabby. Hang in there," he pleaded.
"Charge to two hundred," the second voice called. He knew they were doing this to try to save his love's life, but the words just left him more distressed.
"Please let me stay with her," he tried to fight back as he addressed the person trying to force him from the room, only to find that another body had come to help get him out of there.
"I'm here. I love you. Please stay with me baby," he called as he found himself being forced out of the room, only stopping when he was out of Gabby's hospital room and the door was closed in front of him.
All he could do now was stand helplessly, staring through the window into her room, tears streaming down his face as he watched them repeatedly shock Gabby's, his Gabby's, heart with a defibrillator.
It had been months since something like this had happened. Aside from the fact that she still hadn't woken up, she seemed to be doing quite well. Why was this happening now?
Come on Gabby. Come on.
Author's Note: So whose glad this wasn't the chapter I left you guys on last year?
As a reminder, the review button is right down there. You do want to keep me in my Dawsey state of mind, don't you?
Until next time :)