Kamen Rider Ex-Aid 'Tricks' Bonus Stage: Quiz Chronicle Chapter 54: Final Boss Stage Phase 2B, a kamen rider fanfic

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

Far, far, far above the heroes, the stream of question marks reassembled themselves into the form of Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme. Above him, the stars and the moon twinkled in the inky-black expanse of space. Beneath him, the world was spread out, all blues and greens and browns and whites stretching from horizon to horizon, the curvature of the planet visible from this altitude.

From this height, Japan seemed so small. So fragile. So vulnerable and beautiful.

It would be all too easy for him to destroy it.

| CLICK TO GO! FINISHING MOVE! CRITICAL QUESTION! |

Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme raised his hand. From the world below, holographic screens with questions and multiple answers on them began to appear, flying up from every device on the planet that had Quiz Chronicle installed on it. The questions converged above his hand, coalescing and compressing into a sphere, one which was growing bigger and bigger by the second as more and more questions were added to it.

Within seconds, it was the size of Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme. Then 10 times his size. Then 100, then a thousand, until an orb the size of a small planetoid was suspended in the space above him, millions upon millions of questions and answers swirling within it.

Glancing down at the country of his birth without pity or remorse, he grinned. "Let's see them figure their way out of THIS."

He dropped the sphere.

…

"…isoleucine," Sento finished.

The screen with the question on it flashed, turned into an energy ball, and flew off into the sky.

Everyone stared at Sento in awe and disbelief. "Holy crap, how did you say all that in one breath?!" Nico demanded.

"Years of practice," Sento wheezed, gasping for breath.

"What WAS that? That wasn't an actual word, was it?" Ryuga demanded.

"It is, as a matter fact," Peni interjected. "It's the chemical name of titin, the largest known protein."

"It must be pretty big to have a name that long," Asuna remarked.

Swan nodded. "Indeed. It's larger than a micrometer!"

"… Doesn't sound very big," Go said.

"For a protein, that's VERY big," Akari informed him.

"Why is its name so long?" Emu asked.

"Because that's how chemistry works," Sento replied, having managed to catch his breath.

Poppy, Hiiro, Yamato, Bud, W, Eiji, Gentaro, and everyone else who'd flown after Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme glided back down towards them. "Everyone, we have a real pi-pu-pe-po-problem!" The Valkyrien cried in dismay.

"What? What is it?" Taiga asked in alarm.

An unearthly radiance fell upon them. They looked up to see that what appeared to be the entire sky, as far as the eye could see, was covered in a swirling mass of question screens. A swirling mass of question screens slowly descending towards them. "That," Hiiro said plainly.

"Oh dear," Abrella remarked, looking mildly concerned.

"That…is a big ball of death and destruction," Z said nervously.

"Yeah, I'd say it's maybe the seventeenth biggest I've ever seen," Evolt agreed, not looking very concerned.

"It's certainly bigger than any WE'VE ever made!" Dogranio retorted.

"Um. That's a lot of questions," Parad observed, stating the obvious.

"How the heck are we supposed to answer all of those?!" Nico cried in disbelief.

"Do we have to? Can't we just blast it from down here?" Heart suggested.

Swan shook her head. "No good. Considering the size of that thing, if it explodes, the fallout would still destroy the entire country, and might even ignite the atmosphere."

"Then let's just form a giant mecha and push it back into space and destroy it there," Genta suggested.

"Yeah, my team did something like that to save the world from a meteor sixty-five million years ago," Asuna agreed.

"Wait, what?" the confused Dayu said.

"I'm not sure that even if we had all of our mecha working together, we could push back something that large," Tusk said doubtfully.

"Not to mention that if any of us touch the sphere, we might accidentally hit a wrong answer by mistake and set the whole thing off," Poppy pointed out.

"Then how do we stop it from exploding?" A very anxious Gwen asked.

"I'm guessing we'd have to answer every question correctly before that thing hits the ground," Yayoi speculated.

Kiriya sighed. "Yeah, that sounds like Kuroto." He paused for a moment. "Huh. Was kind of expecting him to correct me about what his name is."

"How would he hear you? He's in space," Kengo pointed out.

"Somehow, I don't think that's enough to stop him," Hiiro said grimly.

"He's probably yelling at the top of his lungs, we just can't hear from down here," Taiga agreed.

"Okay, so how are we possibly supposed to answer all those questions? There's got to be millions of them!" Ranru pointed out.

"Philip? Could you do it?" Ryubee asked his son.

Double hesitated, then shook their head. "I… Maybe? I could look up all the answers, but there's no way I could get them all before that thing hits us."

"Maybe if everyone who has a time stop or time manipulation ability combined their powers?" Poppy suggested. "And maybe augmented it with Newton's gravity control?"

"I don't think my powers can affect something that massive," Newton said doubtfully. "But I could try."

"The time stop could work," Brain spoke up suddenly. "With Heart, Medic, Poppy, and myself, there are enough of us to pull off a Global Freeze… I think. That could at least slow it down if not stop it."

"Wait, we don't want to stop time around the world!" Go protested.

"We'll aim it at the sphere, not the planet," Medic promised. "That should do the trick. Probably."

"And then I could open a wormhole to send it into space!" Gentaro added. "I mean, okay, it's a lot bigger than XVII, but…"

"I can open dimensional cracks with my sword," Hiiro spoke up.

"And we can do the same with our tech," Miguel added. "If we combine our powers, it might just work."

Newton sighed. "All right then, I'll start us off." He aimed his hands upwards and fired gravity waves at the massive energy ball. He gasped and immediately fell to his knees. "Okay… That is MUCH heavier than I thought it would be… WAY heavier than that floating island created by the guy who wanted to be a modern-age Nobunaga…"

"You know, looking back, I wish I'd had a flying castle," Nobunaga remarked. "Granted, I'm not sure exactly how I would've gotten to and from it, but I'm sure I would've thought of something."

"It's our turn, then," Heart decided. He stretched out a hand. "Brain, Medic, Poppy, let's do this."

"You know, considering we spent so much time preparing to do this back in the day, it's amazing we may actually be able to pull it off now… For a GOOD reason," Brain remarked, placing his hand over Heart's, and Medic putting her hand over his.

Poppy placed her hand on top. "Okay," she said, tapping her Tsukuyomi and Medic statuettes. "Let's hope this works…"

| MEDIC! HEAVY ACCELERATION! TSUKUYOMI! TIME STOP! |

Everyone took a step back as they were engulfed in a blinding golden radiance which shot upwards and struck the colossal sphere, golden energy waves washing out from the point of contact and quickly engulfing the orb of condensed knowledge in its glow. The sphere's inexorable descent slowed and gradually came to a halt. Everyone sighed in relief.

"That was close," Ryuga spoke up.

"We aren't out of this yet," Sento reminded him. "Now we need to see if we can get rid of this thing."

"Miguel, are you sure this won't completely fry our goobers and strand us in this dimension indefinitely and/or destroy the universe?" The midlife crisis Spider-Man asked Miguel as the Spider-Man from the year 2099, Kengo, and Peni tinkered with several insanely high-tech gadgets crudely networked together and plugged into Gentaro's Barizun Sword.

"Absolutely! Probably. I'm 100% sure there's only a 60% chance of that happening," Miguel replied.

"Those sound like good odds to me," Ham remarked.

"Me too!" Deadpool agreed.

"Okay, I think we're ready," Kengo announced. "Gentaro, make the largest portal you can."

"Sure thing!" Gentaro inserted the Cosmic Switch into his sword and pulled the lever.

| LIMIT BREAK! |

The "goobers" activated, crackling with energy which coursed up the cables connecting them to the Barizun sword, a massive energy beam firing from its tip and generating a colossal wormhole far in the air above them. The portal grew and grew and grew until it was nearly as big as the quarry…

Which was still far too small to fit the ball of questions into. "Yeah, that's not going to cut it," Gwen noted.

"Well, at least the universe didn't explode," Miles pointed out optimistically.

"Give it time," Deadpool said cheerfully.

"I believe it's my turn, then," Hiiro announced, raising his sword. Concentrating, he pointed upwards, at the edge of the wormhole, and slowly moved it in a circle, tracing the point along the rim of the vortex. As he did so, a giant zipper slowly unzipped around the edge of the wormhole, causing the portal to expand exponentially. By the time he completed his circuit, the wormhole was now twice as big…

And still only about a quarter of the size of the ball.

Everyone stared at portal which had been their only hope. "Well, shit," Nico said finally. "I guess we're fucked then."

"Hey Evolt, can't you open a black hole big enough to get rid of that thing?" Z asked the alien horror.

"Oh, totally," Evolt replied.

Z waited for a moment. Evolt didn't do anything. "So… Are you going to, or…?"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

Evolt laughed. "Why should I make it easy for them?"

"We're here as well," Dogranio pointed out.

"And are all very resourceful individuals who I am sure have ways off this planet just in case those do-gooders somehow, by a dark miracle, failed to stop that thing," Evolt pointed out. "Which we all know won't happen, since they'll figure out something at the last minute like they always do."

"You have a point," Abrella conceded. "But just in case, I'd better check to see if my personal teleporter is fully charged…"

Gamou groaned as the inadequate portal was allowed to close. "Well, that's just great. I came back from the dead, switched sides, and now I'm about to die again. Wonderful."

"Join the club," Dayu grumbled.

"We aren't out of the woods yet," Philip pointed out. "Heart, how long do you and your friends think you can keep that thing frozen?"

"I'm honestly not sure," Heart admitted. "Brain?"

"Indefinitely. I think," Brain said uncertainly.

"You think?" Medic asked in disbelief.

"Well, it's not like we ever managed to get this far before!" Brain pointed out.

"They might be able to maintain the Heavy Acceleration indefinitely, but I don't know if I can," Poppy confessed, a hint of strain in her voice as her body started to subtly shake.

"Then we'll have to work quickly," Philip decided. "Shotaro and I will fly up there while you keep the sphere frozen and try to answer as many questions correctly as I can. While I don't know if I'll be able to answer all of them before the time stop fails, hopefully I'll be able to get enough of them right that it will significantly diminish the power of the sphere, so it won't destroy all of Japan. In the meantime, all of you get out of here and evacuate everyone you can find so that there won't be any civilians anywhere near Ground Zero. With all of us working together, we should be able to keep casualties to a minimum."

"I don't think I like that plan," Ryubee argued. "It puts a lot on your shoulders, son."

"Unfortunately, I don't really think that at this point, we have any alternatives," Philip pointed out.

"You do, actually. You can let me handle it."

Everyone turned to see a Rider whose armor was covered in red and blue question marks approaching. Emu gasped. "Mondo!"

"Yes?" Misao asked.

"No, not you, him! Mondo Douan! Kamen Rider Quiz!" Emu explained. "He's a Rider from the future, who fights evil using the power of quizzes!"

"He showed up out of the blue earlier to help us answer a question we didn't know the answer to," Parad added.

Ryuga groaned. "Oh great, MORE quizzes?"

"Don't worry, I use my quizzes for the power of good, unlike Kuroto, who is abusing them for evil purposes," Mondo promised as he reached the rather large group.

"Douan. What are you doing here?" Hiiro asked.

"I told you all earlier that you would see me again," Mondo reminded the doctor Riders. "And that time is now. You've nothing to worry about. I'll take things from here."

"Take things… Wait, do you mean you're going to get rid of that thing in the sky? All by yourself?" Taiga asked incredulously.

Mondo nodded. "I am indeed. Remember, I've been studying records of this battle for years. I've been training all my life for this moment, my greatest challenge, the most difficult quiz ever conceived with the highest of all possible stakes. It is my destiny to answer the questions Kuroto Dan has accumulated in that sphere and save Japan."

"What? Are you serious? There's no way you can stop that thing by yourself!" Protested a disbelieving Kiriya. "… Can you?"

Mondo glanced at Emu. "Emu? I can stop this sphere and save everyone. O or X?"

The panels on his chest started flashing at the sound of a timer ticking down filled the air.

"O," Emu said without a moment's hesitation.

The O panel lit up and a bell rang. "Correct!"

"Wait, you really can do it?" Shotaro asked in amazement. "When not even Philip is certain he can?"

"Not to disparage your friend or anything, but I AM from several years in the future, so I have access to certain technology and pieces of information he doesn't," Mondo pointed out. "But it doesn't matter whether or not you believe I can do it. I KNOW I can do it, and that's all that matters. After all, history has already recorded that I prevail, so there is really nothing to worry about. My victory is etched in stone."

Hongo nodded in approval. "I can sense your convictions, young Rider. I do believe you are capable of everything you claim. Go, then! Show us what you are capable of!"

"I fully intend to," Mondo promised the first Rider. He glanced at the four artificial lifeforms still generating the Heavy Acceleration. "Oh, and you needn't overexert yourselves continuing to freeze that thing. I won't need the handicap."

"Really? Well, okay then," Heart said with a shrug, withdrawing his hand.

"Wait, shouldn't we talk about this first-" Brain protested, but it was too late. Without Heart, the Heavy Acceleration field collapsed, and the sphere began to descend again.

Newton, who had stopped using his gravity several minutes ago and hoped nobody noticed, asked, "So, do you need me to try to hold that thing up or…?"

"No, I'm good," Mondo assured him.

"Oh thank God," Newton breathed in relief.

Mondo gazed up at the descending sphere of destruction. "The answer is to save the world. And it's always the right answer."

He removed the question mark-shaped device in his Driver, causing it to transform into an exclamation mark, and then reinserted it.

[?] FINAL QUIZ FLASH! [!]

Mondo leapt into the air, jumping astonishingly high even for a Kamen Rider, and vanishing inside the sphere.

…

In space, Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme tapped his foot on the ground, or would have if there had been a ground to tap on. "What is taking that thing so long?" He grumbled, glaring down at his Critical Question orb, which was still enshrouded in the remnants of the Global Freeze energy field. "It should've destroyed them by now… Oh, there we go," he said in relief as the golden energy vanished and the sphere started descending again. "I guess they finally realized it was futile to stop it. Soon, they shall all perish-"

A spot on the sphere turned blue.

"Eh? They got a question right?" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme asked in surprise. "Well, no big deal, it's only one-"

Another blue spot appeared. And another. And another.

"… It's just a few," Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme said slowly, more to reassure himself than anything else. "They can't possibly get enough right for it to make a difference-"

More parts of the sphere turned blue. In fact, by this point they were less spots than whole swaths of color spreading outwards. The orb trembled and started rising upwards.

"… No."

At least a third of the sphere was blue now.

"That's not possible."

A half.

"That's not possible!"

Three quarters. The sphere was rising faster now, heading right back towards its creator.

"No! No no no no no no NO!"

Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme flew down to the surface of the sphere and started pushing down at the center of the only area left that had not yet turned blue, an area which was rapidly diminishing. Desperate, he poured his energy into the sphere, generating new questions in a frantic attempt to try and push back the tide of correct answers. "No! This can't be happening! I won't allow it! I won't-"

And that's when the feedback orb from his question about the longest word in the world finally made it out of the atmosphere and slammed into him. He cried in alarm as he lost his grip and the sphere turned entirely blue, surging upwards to collide with him.

"Oh-"

…

The explosion could be seen all the way from the ground. The gathered heroes watched solemnly as the flash of light from the blast gradually flickered and died out.

"Mondo…" Emu whispered.

"He really did it," Swan whispered in awe. "He saved everyone."

"He proved himself to be a true Kamen Rider," Hongo said gravely. "His sacrifice shall not be forgotten."

"If this doesn't earn him a heroic Eyecon, nothing will," Akari agreed.

"He has certainly earned his place in Helheim," Poppy said solemnly. "I guess I should go collect his soul now…"

"Thanks, but you don't need to do that. I'm not dead."

Everyone whirled around in surprise to see Gentaro emerging from a wormhole with Mondo, looking somewhat singed, but still alive. "Mondo! You're alive!" Emu cried in relief.

Mondo laughed. "As if I could ever be killed by a quiz! I admit, it would've been pretty dramatic if I HAD died, though."

"I figured, since he was going to space, he might need a rescue since I wasn't sure if his suit could withstand reentry," Gentaro explained. "So I went after him just to be safe."

"Well thought out, Gentaro," Gamou said in approval.

"And it looks like I won't have to carry his spirit to Helheim after all, thanks to you," Poppy said in relief. She paused. "I'm… Not going to get in trouble for not meeting a quota or something, am I, Hiiro?"

"No, you're fine," Hiiro assured her.

"So that's it… At last, it's finally over," Taiga sighed, slumping against Jiro's tank. "And about time, too. This has been one really, REALLY long afternoon."

"Yeah, feels like it's been a couple of years," Kiriya agreed.

"Wait… If it's over, shouldn't there have been a big GAME CLEAR or something?" Mizuki asked.

Everyone froze. "No… There's… There's no way he could've survived that, is there?" Parad whispered, horrified.

Emu gasped. "No… But didn't he have some extra lives?"

"I do indeed!"

A purple warp pipe appeared, and Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme emerged. "Fools! Did you really think a minor setback like that was going to get rid of me that easily? Especially when I still have…" He glanced at the counter over his head and did a double-take. "I'm down to 13 lives?! Wow, that must've been a really powerful blast… Well of course it was, it came from me, after all!" He laughed maniacally.

Everyone groaned. "Are you shitting me?!" Ryuga demanded. "We have to kill him 13 more times for it to stick?!"

"Well, on the bright side, at least we actually get a chance at him this time," Motors pointed out to his brethren, trying to find a silver lining.

"We spent several minutes pounding away at him before and he STILL wouldn't drop dead until Mondo hit him with his own finishing move! At this rate it will take us hours!" Pointed out an irritated Goto.

"What the hell, author? You already dragged the story out months longer than it should have been with all this Genius Squad boss rush crap and unnecessary side plots, and now you're throwing in yet ANOTHER excuse to keep this story from just ending already?!" Deadpool screamed at the heavens. "Do the words 'arc fatigue' mean NOTHING to you?"

"… Who is he talking to?" Takuya asked the midlife crisis Spider-Man.

"I don't know, and I don't WANT to know," the other Spider-Man replied.

"Probably a wise decision," Spider-Ham agreed. "The truth would blow your mind."

"Oh, it will take even longer than you think!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme sneered. "Thanks to the data I collected from you all before when I allowed you to beat me up-"

"I don't think you 'allowed' us to do anything," Mr. Belt interjected.

"When I ALLOWED YOU to beat me up," Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme repeated loudly. "None of your attacks will be as effective as they were before! I have gained an immunity to them!"

"Of course you have," Shuki said wearily.

"You haven't gained an immunity to OUR attacks!" Leo pointed out. "We just got here!"

"… Oh. Right," the lion muttered.

"13 lives is overkill! Nine is the perfect number," Amu huffed. "And much luckier at that!"

"So really, at this point, it's all a matter of attrition," Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme continued, loving, as always, the sound of his own voice. "The lot of you are already no doubt tired after all the fighting you've done so far, while I am fresh thanks to my respawn. And if you kill me, you'll be even more tired in my next life, while I will once again be at full strength if not greater! There is no way for you to possibly defeat me!"

"False!" Mondo declared.

"As far as I'm concerned, it was," the other Quiz Rider replied. "You've forgotten, Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme-"

"Did he really manage to somehow remember that entire name?" Hatena wondered in disbelief. "Without it being programmed into him?"

"I'm from the future," Mondo continued. "I've been studying this battle my entire life. And that means I know what happens next." Beneath his mask, he grinned. "I know that you lose."

"Oh, I do, do I?" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme sneered, a faint undercurrent of doubt running beneath his voice. "And just how does that happen?"

Suddenly, another warp pipe, this time green, popped up, and Kamen Rider Nintend-O sprung out in a familiar pose, accompanied by the appropriate music. "It's-a me, Miyamoto!"

Emu, Nico, Chiaki, the Bugsters, and any other gamers among the group squealed in delight. "Miyamoto-sama!" Poppy exclaimed joyfully.

"Dad! You're here!" Parad proclaimed in excitement. He shook Escape and pointed at Miyamoto. "You see him, Escape? He's my dad! Your future father-in-law! Dad, look, I have a fiancé!"

"And I'm very pleased to hear it, Parad," Miyamoto said kindly. "You've chosen a very lovely AI to be your bride."

Escape blushed despite herself. "I… Thank you?"

"I still haven't consented to this union!" Enter yelled.

"Enter, Miyamoto can teach you how to win at video games," Parad told him. "Even better than I could."

Enter paused. "… Tell me more."

"Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh I can't believe it! He's really here! Shigeru Miyamoto!" Salty cried, dancing about giddily.

"Oh yeah!" the Futago brothers chorused, hopping in excitement.

"Oh gosh, I never thought this would happen," Alhambra stammered. He turned to Collabos. "Quick, how do I look? Is my cloak neat and tidy? My scepter polished enough? My fangs nice and pointy? I can't look bad in front of that man!"

Collabos gave him a thumbs-up.

"Where's my motorcycle? Maybe if he sees how good I am at riding one, he'll put me in the next Excitebike game!" Motors said hopefully. "Heck, I'd even take being a DLC character for Mario Kart!"

"I wouldn't mind a cameo in the next Tetris remake," Hatena spoke up.

"Hey! HEY! None of you are appearing in any Nintendo games!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme yelled. "You're my intellectual property, which means you can't appear in any games without my permission!"

"I think the current head of Genm is the only person who can decide that, actually," Revol pointed out.

"Nobody asked you!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme snapped. "Ahem. Miyamoto-san, what, eheh, what are you doing here? I hadn't expected to see you again today."

Miyamoto gave Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme a stern look. "Kuroto Dan, this time you have gone too far. You distributed a videogame that nearly stole the brains of every person on Earth solely to benefit yourself. Video games should bring entertainment to the masses, not enslave them!"

"Technically, a point can be made that they're doing both, since people get addicted to games and want to buy more, which means better profit for the company making them, and-"Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme started.

"I care not for technicalities," Miyamoto interjected, actually sounding angry for the first time. "Time and time again, you have abused your talents as a game designer and inflicted great suffering on the people of the world. You've been given chance after chance to redeem yourself and change your ways, only for your ego to always lead you back down the path of darkness. Just a few minutes ago, you tried to destroy Japan just to keep from losing a game of your own devising! This is the last straw! By the authority invested in me as the head of the Council of Game Masters, I hereby levy upon you a fitting punishment for your many crimes, a fate worse than you can possibly imagine!"

"… Okay, a fate slightly better than a fate worse than you can possibly imagine," Miyamoto conceded. He raised an index finger, glowing white, and tap to the center of Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme's forehead.

There was the sound of shattering glass, and suddenly Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme's armor disintegrated, leaving him in his base Action Gamer Level 0 form. The Quiz Chronicle Gashat sparked, cracked, and ejected from his Driver, breaking into a billion pieces when it hit the ground.

Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme, or rather, simply Kuroto Dan, looked over his body in confusion. "I… I don't understand. "I'm alive? And…" He glanced upwards, his life counter still at 13. "I have all my lives?"

Miyamoto shook his head gravely. "Oh no, Kuroto. Death was not the fate I had in store for you, but something far, far worse…" He pointed his finger at the evil Rider again. "I have taken from you your talent! From this day forth, you will NEVER be able to create a videogame ever again!"

Emu, Nico, Parad, Poppy, the Bugsters, Chiaki, and any other gamers in the group gasped. "Wait, that's it?" Mei asked, unimpressed.

"For someone like him, it's more than enough," Emu said gravely.

Nico nodded. "It's a horrible fate! One I wouldn't wish on anyone, not even him."

"Oh Kuroto, I'm so sorry…" Poppy whispered.

Parad shook his head, appalled. "I know he had it coming, but still… Damn. I hope I never do anything bad enough to warrant dad doing something like that to me."

"As long as he doesn't try to eat you after you work your tail off trying to please him, you're probably good," Escape said dryly.

Kuroto laughed nervously. "What? N-no, that can't be it. You're bluffing. Someone like you would…w-would never do something that horrible to another game designer! I still have plenty of games I've been planning to make, like… like…"He started to tremble. "No… That's not… Wait, what about… No, not… Why… Why can't…" He grabbed his temples. "Why can't I remember any of them?! All my brilliant ideas for games, even the ones I've already made… They're all gone!"

Miyamoto shook his head regretfully. "This was not a fate I would have wished upon my worst enemy, Kuroto. Nor is it one that I inflict on you lightly. However, if left to your own devices, it is inevitable that you would one day create a game that would destroy the world. This is the only way we of the Council of Game Masters saw to prevent this future from coming to pass." He closed his eyes and turned away. "I'm sorry, Kuroto. But you left us no choice."

Kuroto wailed and fell to his knees. "No… No…NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"… Shit. Now I'm actually starting to feel SORRY for the bastard," Taiga confessed.

"I'm not," Kiriya said coldly.

Miyamoto glanced at the heroes. "My purpose here is done. Kuroto's fate, for good or ill, is in your hands now. Oh, and Parad?"

"Yes, dad?" The Bugster asked.

"I AM invited to the wedding, right?" Miyamoto asked.

Parad burst into startled laughter. "What? Yeah, of course!"

"Ours too!" Poppy cried, grabbing Emu's hand.

"Then I'll be sure to make it," Miyamoto promised. He jumped back into his warp pipe and disappeared.

"So cool," Motors gushed.

"I wish he was our dad," Salty lamented.

"I don't see why he couldn't be, all I had to do is ask," Parad pointed out.

"Seriously? You mean we may have just missed our chance?!" Hatena cried in horror.

"Don't worry, I'll ask him about it next time I see him," Parad reassured him, much to the relief of the Bugsters.

"So… What now?" The da Vinci Ganma asked. "Is it over?"

"I think at this point it all depends on Kuroto," Hiiro replied, nodding at the villain, who had fallen to his knees, sobbing and clutching his head.

"Kuroto," Emu said gently. "It's over."

"No… No, it can't be…" Kuroto stammered.

"It's over," Emu repeated. "You've lost. Denying it will only prolong this longer than it already has been."

"Months longer," Deadpool agreed.

"Seriously, what is he-" Takeru began.

"Don't," the midlife crisis Spider-Man said harshly.

"At this point, you really only have two options," Emu told Kuroto. "You can surrender, submit to arrest, and maybe, just maybe, you can get a fresh start."

"Or… You can continue to pick an unnecessary fight, in which event we will have to defeat you," Taiga picked up. "As many times as it takes until this ends."

"Even if it means… Even if it means using up every last one of your extra lives," Poppy said softly.

"So… My choices are life… Or death?" Kuroto asked hoarsely, his voice raw.

"Pretty much, yeah," Nico agreed.

Kuroto started trembling, not with tears, but with rage. "If it is a choice between life without my talent, or death…" He snarled as he rose to his feet. "Then I will choose death! Every time!"

He produced a Gashat. "Or rather… UNdeath!"

| CLICK TO GO! DANGEROUS ZOMBIE! CLICK AND LOAD! |

"HENSHIN!"

| BUG IT UP! DANGER! DANGER! DEATH THE CRISIS! DANGEROUS ZOMBIE! |

In a flash of darkness, Kuroto was in his Zombie Gamer Level X–0 form. "I don't care that I can't possibly win. I don't care that all I'll probably be able to do is minorly inconvenience you at best," Kuroto ranted. "But throughout this horrible day, despite the repeated failures, constant humiliation, and a really unfair amount of pain-"

"I don't know, I'm pretty sure it was a fair amount," Kiriya interjected.

"DESPITE ALL OF THAT," Kuroto yelled. "At least I knew I still had my peerless talent to fall back on, the only thing I valued more than my own life… And now even THAT has been taken from me! And without it, my life no longer has any meaning… So I might as well throw that away as well!"

Emu sighed. "Kuroto, we don't have to do this-"

"As if I have ever cared what you want!" Kuroto snapped. "It is my will that I die this day… And I shall do my best to take as many of you as I can with me, even though I know in my heart it is a futile effort! If I can manage to inflict even the tiniest amount of suffering upon you all for what you have cost me, I can die content!"

"Hmm. How… Petty. And very, very disappointing."

"Eh?" Everyone glanced upwards and were startled to see Shin Ginis standing atop a nearby ridge, doing a sarcastic slow clap.

The Zyuohgers gasped. "Ginis! But how? We killed him!" Sela protested.

"Oh yeah, that's right, Kuroto revived him earlier," Kasumi recalled.

"And then he just… Disappeared?" Yayoi said vaguely.

"I guess we sort of forgot about him," Sento admitted, embarrassed.

"Well, considering just how many people got involved in this, I suppose it's understandable one or two might fall through the cracks," Philip admitted.

Z snapped his fingers. "Ginis! That's it! I KNEW we were forgetting someone!"

"I cannot believe I forgot about that guy," Evolt remarked.

"Neither can I," Abrella confessed, looking irritated. "This is most embarrassing. I thought my memory was better than that…"

"Wait, so he's just been observing the fight the whole time without doing anything?" Dogranio complained.

"That's what we did," Z pointed out.

Dogranio paused. "Well. Yes. But he could have joined us!"

"Having a fifth commentator might've been interesting," Abrella agreed.

"I wonder what he's been up to…" Evolt murmured.

"Ginis! Where have you been?!" Kuroto demanded. "Why weren't you fighting any of the heroes I summoned you to fight?" He paused, then glanced back at the group. "None of you fought him, right?"

There was a large consensus that no, they had not.

"Right. That's what I thought."

"I had considered participating in the battle," Genis admitted. "But all the other villains seemed to have staked a claim on a particular opponent, and since the Zyuohgers had yet to arrive, I had no particular investment in who to fight. So, instead I decided to sit back and observe. I found it VERY entertaining."

He sighed. "But, alas, it seems all of you are just about done fighting, and watching all of you beat up poor, defenseless, pathetic Kuroto-"

"Hey!"

"Has rather lost its appeal. And since I simply cannot ABIDE boredom, and I'm not quite ready to call it quits yet…" He grinned cruelly. "I figured it was time to step forward and turn this into a game much more to my liking. It HAS been such a long time since the last Blood Game, after all…"

"Excuse me?" Evolt demanded, sitting up in his seat.

"Nothing to do with you," Abrella explained. "Ginis and his Deathgaliens traveled from world to world as part of their 'Blood Game,' a twisted competition where they would send monsters called Players down to a selected planet and destroy it in as ruthless and sadistic away as possible to satisfy Ginis' bloodlust and thirst for destruction. They destroyed 99 worlds in this way until coming to Earth, where they were defeated by the Zyuohgers." He chuckled. "And I made a significant amount of money supplying them with weapons, ships, and technology to aid them in their endeavors, as well as broadcasting their carnage to fans of bloodsport across the cosmos. Not that I would EVER do anything like that again, of course."

"Wait, isn't that what we're doing now?" Z pointed out.

"Oh no, this is TOTALLY different," Abrella assured him. "Then I was profiting from horrible villains slaughtering helpless innocents. This is profiting from valiant heroes conquering villains who are of course no match for such shining paragons of righteousness."

"Yep. Absolutely nothing in common," Dogranio agreed with a straight face.

"Oh, I see," Evolt realized, relaxing. "We actually used to have competitions like that on my world. We also called them the Blood Games." He snorted. "And 99? That's it? That doesn't even break into the top 100 planet kill counts my people had in our games. Even Ino did better than that!"

"Wait… Are you telling me… No! Absolutely not!" Kuroto screamed, outraged. "I am the final boss here, not you! You don't get to just show up when all is said and done and make yourself the main adversary! You're just a has-been I summoned to soften up my opponents! I refuse to be Hijacked by Ganon! Again, that is!"

"Seeing as how I am at full power, while you are worn out, low on lives, and nowhere near as strong as you could be, I don't believe you really have a choice in the matter," Ginis sneered.

"You may be at full power, but you don't have a chance of defeating all of us," Yamato pointed out, gesturing to all the other heroes around them.

"Yeah! We'll thrash you just like we did the last time!" Leo agreed.

"You would be right… Except that I'm not the only one who will be fighting you," Ginis explained.

"… What do you mean by that?" Tusk asked slowly.

Ginis laughed and swiped a hand through the air, scattering hundreds of medals across the quarry. Most of them hit the ground and, in flashes of green light, turned into grotesque creatures with tentacled heads, Moeba foot soldiers.

Other medals, however, had other targets, and had a rather different effect on impact.

One medal sank into the tiny metal sphere that Long had been sealed into. The ball trembled, glowing green cracks spreading across its surface, before shattering with a monstrous roar as a tremendous mass of golden energy rose into the air, transforming into a gigantic four-legged Golden Dragon with far too many heads.

One medal sank into the chest of the petrified Dokoku in his impact crater in the cliff face. The statue shook, glowing green cracks spreading across its surface before shattering as Dokoku emerged, growing to a gargantuan size.

Five medals landed in the remains of Brajira and his clones. In a massive flash of green light, a single gargantuan figure stood up, leg armor resembling that of Buredo-RUN the Cyborg covering its feet, armor that was a mix of Buredoran of the Chupacabra and Chimatsuri's covering his hips and waist, and a mix of the armor from all five of his forms covering his chest. Wings resembling those of an angel, an insect, a demon, and ones like solar sails sprouted from his back. Four arms grew from his sides, each resembling the forelimb of one of his alter egos and wielding the appropriate weapon. His head was now a five-sided revolving gyre, each side resembling one of his faces, with a crown that was a mix of all five of his head adornments rising from the top. All five heads cackled madly as their single head whirled around and around.

One medal landed in the hand of a small, discarded, creepy baby doll lying in the ashes of Dr. Maki. The doll clenched its hand around the medal, and in a flash of green light, millions of Cell Medals started accumulating around it, swelling upwards and fusing together to form a humongous purple Dragon with four legs, four arms, two tails, and vast wings, all bristling with spikes, with a bony crest that had Tyrannosaurus, Pteranodon, and Triceratops heads jutting from it surrounding a hideous scaly face vaguely resembling Maki in his human form, with the now gargantuan doll riding on its back.

One medal landed in the tattered remnants of Deboss's shawl, and in a flash of green light a tremendous mass of slime oozed upwards and solidified into the reborn form of the now-giant Deboss.

One medal landed in the scrap that was all that was left of Banno. It sank into the remains of his Driver, and in a flash of light the mechanical parts started twitching and coming to life, cables and gears and pieces of metal coming together or generating from thin air to form a new, more monstrous body. Within moments, a large golden car resembling the Tridoron had formed, with huge bat wings, spider legs, and a serpentine body made of smaller cars emerging from its rear. The front end of the car split apart to form a massive set of jaws filled with jagged metal teeth, screeching horrifically as it flapped its wings and rose into the air.

One medal landed in the broken remains of Gengetsu Kibaoni. In a flash of green light, the Oni warlord was revived, rising into the air as a towering giant.

One medal landed in the ashes of Dracula. In a flash of green light, thousands of bats suddenly erupted from the pile of dust, shrieking and chittering and swirling about as they rose into the air, converging to form a gargantuan green Dragon with wings growing from the undersides of its arms and a lower body resembling a centipede.

One medal landed in the discarded parka of the Great Eyezer. In a flash of green light, a giant golden being of light (no relation to the Ultras) rose up, a pair of wings spreading from its back, a single red eye opening in a head crowned with a towering horn.

One medal landed in the remains of Starfish Hitler. In a flash of green light, a titanic starfish rose into the air, its four legs twisting about to resemble a swastika, an orifice opening on the front of his face to reveal a grotesque face resembling that of Adolf Hitler.

Finally, one medal landed in the still-impaled corpse of Giant Spider Great Leader. With a shudder and a flash of green light, the corpse came back to life, the sword being pushed out of its back as the monster grew bigger and bigger, until it was about the same height as all of the other giant monsters.

"THANK YOU, GINIS!" They all chorused.

Everyone stared in anger and disbelief. "Oh, come on!" Kiriya shouted.

"Oh, so I guess we ARE getting giant monsters for this crossover, then," Evolt noted. "Good to know."

"We usually don't have this many, though," Abrella remarked. "This should be interesting."

"Back behind the couch I go," Dogranio said with a disturbing amount of serenity before climbing back over the back of the couch. Sobbing and retching sounds could be heard soon afterwards.

"My friends, I would like to welcome you all to the beginning of the 101st Blood Game!" Ginis declared, rising into the air and swooping around the heads of the giant monsters he had just given Continues to. "And the first event is simple. Whichever of you manages to kill the most, second, and third-most heroes will be named Team Leaders for the newest incarnation of the Deathgaliens. Fourth place gets to be my new secretary, and everyone else will become Players. You may then feel free to destroy as much of the planet as you wish, however you choose to. Whoever entertains me the most shall be rewarded. There is only one rule: that I am not bored. Anything else is fair game! Let the carnage commence!"

The revived giant villains roared in delight.

"So, are we screwed?" Miles asked nervously. "Because I feel kind of screwed right now."

"This seems bad, but it's not as bad as it looks," Takeru assured him. "There are a lot of them, but a lot of us as well, and quite a few of us have experience fighting giant monsters in equally giant mecha."

"Those of us who don't have full teams here can call for backup," Swan agreed. "Once they realize how urgent this is, they'll get here as quickly as possible."

"I'm calling my cousin and the other ninja right now," Kasumi announced, dialing on her communicator.

"This might get a little dicey, but I'm confident we can pull through this-" Sento began, when the earth started shaking.

"KAMEN RIDERS!"

The biggest monster any of them had ever seen, a stone giant so colossal it was even taller than Mount Fuji, lurched into view, the earth shaking with every stomp as it approached. Hongo gasped in horror. "Oh no… It's Rock Great Leader!"

Eiji grimaced. "This brings back memories…"

"YOU SHALL PAY FOR THE DEATH OF MY SON-" Rock Great Leader roared.

"Dad, I'm okay!" Giant Spider Great Leader yelled.

Rock Great Leader paused and squinted. "WHAT? OH! SON! YOU'RE ALL RIGHT!" He bellowed in relief. "AND YOU FINALLY HIT YOUR GROWTH SPURT! YOUR MOTHER WILL BE SO PROUD!"

Giant Spider Great Leader winced. "Daaaaaaaaaaaaad!"

"SORRY, SORRY, DON'T WANT TO EMBARRASS YOU IN FRONT OF YOUR NEW FRIENDS," Rock Great Leader apologized. He rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. "WELL, NOW I FEEL A LITTLE SILLY COMING OUT HERE IN MY STRONGEST FORM… BUT, WHILE I'M HERE… I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU'D MIND A LITTLE HELPING HAND FROM YOUR OLD MAN?" He asked hopefully.

Giant Spider Great Leader rolled his eyes. "Oh, I suppose, seeing as how you came all this way…"

"WONDERFUL!" Rock Great Leader cried in delight, nearly deafening the much, much smaller heroes. "THIS WILL MAKE FOR A WONDERFUL BONDING OPPORTUNITY! SUCH A PITY YOUR MOTHER HAD TO STAY BEHIND TO MAN HEADQUARTERS. NOW, LET'S SQUASH THOSE IMPUDENT KAMEN RIDERS – – AND SUPER SENTAI, AND SPIDER-MEN – – TOGETHER!"

"NOW are we screwed?" Miles asked.

"No, no, we can still handle this," Takuya insisted, though he didn't sound entirely certain.

"Despite his size, he is not invulnerable," Hongo spoke up. "I've defeated him in this form before. Granted, I had a lot of help…"

"Well, we have a lot of help this time too," Eiji pointed out, gesturing to everyone around them.

"Yeah!" Gentaro cried in agreement. "So long as nothing else happens, I think we're good to go!"

As if in response to this, the universe stuttered, time skipping a beat.

One second a large stretch of the quarry was empty. The next, it was filled with ANOTHER large group of Riders and Sentai battling an army of robots, evil Riders, deceased villains, and monsters resembling twisted caricatures of Kamen Riders while a variety of giant mecha clashed in the background. In the center of it all a group of extremely powerful Riders, some of which looked like strange doppelgängers of each other, were having a titanic battle against a hideous figure, reality itself seeming to shiver, warp, and fracture around them.

"You had to say it, didn't you?" Shotaro asked Gentaro angrily.

"Whoops," Gentaro laughed nervously.

"Oh, what NOW?!" Kuroto demanded.

"Whatever it is, I think it's Decade's fault, I can see him in there," Taiga announced.

Everyone nodded and made noises of agreement. It was usually Decade's fault, after all.

"It's not my fault this time!" Tsukasa yelled, landing a blow on Another Diend.

"Are you absolutely sure?" Ryunosuke called back.

"Yes!… Probably! It's PROBABLY not my fault!" Tsukasa replied uncertainly.

"Wait… Is that me in there?" Emu asked in surprise.

"And me?" Noted the startled Brain.

"I see myself as well," Sento remarked. "As well as a number of other duplicates of those among us. I'm guessing either time travel or alternate universe."

"It's definitely time travel," explained Kamen Norider, who'd appeared beside them without anyone noticing.

Nico started. "Holy crap! Who the hell are you?!"

"Kamen Norider. Yes, you've never heard of me. No, it's not because I was ever mentioned in the newsletters, I doubt anyone but Hongo here recognizes me," Norider said, nodding at Hongo. "Long story short, I'm sort of our universe's versions of Deadpool and Spider-Ham, but far less recognized, and much more handsome."

"Excuse me?!" Ham declared, outraged.

"Well, he's got a point…" Deadpool muttered resentfully.

"Kinashi. What is going on here?" Hongo asked.

"Eh, it's a little complicated. Short version is that these are all versions of most of you and your friends from other times who got summoned to the year 2068 by time cops to help take down the demon king Oma Zi-O, ruler of all time and space," Norider began.

"And that's the nasty-looking guy everyone in the middle is fighting?" Parad guessed.

Norider shook his head. "No, that's Another Oma Zi-O, an even WORSE demon king who wants to DESTROY all of time and space who popped up in the middle of the big battle and now Oma Zi-O, his past self regular Zi-O – – who was forced to turn into Oma Z-O himself to get the power he needed to fight the other guy – – and the past and present versions of their friends and family have joined forces to fight him while everyone else is fighting his minions, many of whom used to be Oma Zi-O's minions but are now under control of new management. Or just confused as to who they're supposed to follow orders from. I don't blame them, really, it's a bit of a mess."

"Oh," Parad said faintly.

"I got absolutely none of that," Ryuga complained.

"Oh, so THAT'S why there've been so many temporal anomalies lately!" Sento realized. "The clash between time rulers must be echoing backwards and forwards throughout the timeline, causing all sorts of inconsistencies!"

Asuna gasped. "Like how nobody could remember my name for a while!"

"And how none of us are actually sure what year it is," Nico added.

"Or for how all of us forgot of the existence of Sougo and his friends, why I felt for a time as if my God did not exist, and why Kuroto seemed to believe that he'd been a king at one point," Hiiro intuited.

"And you all called me crazy!" Kuroto yelled.

"That's because you are," Kiriya told him bluntly.

"Wait, then why are you all back here in… whatever year this is instead of 2068?" Bud asked.

"Multiple superbeings with power over time clashing with each other? They probably broke time and conveniently wound up back in the present era to continue their struggle and now we're all caught up in it," the midlife crisis Spider-Man said sagely. "Seen it a million times."

Norider nodded. "Yeah, that's basically what's going on."

"Great, so now we have to deal with this on top of the multiple giant monsters and the really, REALLY giant monster?" Inkohana complained.

"They can probably take care of themselves, we should probably focus on our own problems before anything else happens," Shuki suggested.

And that's when a section of the air above the quarry splintered and shattered, a gigantic green claw smashing its way through. "SPIDEEEEEEEEEEEEEERS!"

Peni gasped. "Oh no, the Goblin Emperor! He's found us!"

"The what now?" Takuya asked.

"The Goblin Emperor! We totally forgot in all the chaos," Miguel explained. "He's an entity made from the combined hatred of all Green Goblins in every reality that wants nothing more than to destroy every Spider-Man in the entire multiverse! We came here to find you and recruit you for our battle with him, but we kind of got distracted what with everything that's been going on."

"And we have to fight this guy too?!" Megumi protested. "This is kind of getting out of hand!"

"No, leave him to us, this is our fight, you guys need to handle your own thing," Gwen told them.

"And good luck with that, it looks as if you all really have your hands full as it is," the poorly animated Spider-Man stated.

And that's when a black hole opened in the sky. "EVOLT!" Ryuga shouted, livid.

"That's not me!" Evolt yelled back. He frowned. "But… It FEELS like me, somehow. The heck is going on now?"

He got his answer when the black hole vomited indescribable horrors, nightmares beyond imagining. To say that the unspeakable monstrosity they coalesced to form resembled Evolt, but with a pitch-black body, wings made from tentacles, multiple multi-jointed limbs ending in claws and orifices, and a cord running from the back of his neck into the mouth of the black hole would be incorrect. Rather, Evolt, but with a pitch-black body, wings made from tentacles, multiple multi-jointed limbs ending in claws and orifices, and a cord running from the back of his neck into the mouth of the black hole was the thing it did not resemble the least.

"…Holy crap, I did not know I could look that awesome," said an amazed Evolt. "I am so jealous right now."

"Make it go away make it go away make it go away make go away-" Z pleaded, shivering in terror.

"Ah. So that's what it feels like to go insane," Abrella said conversationally.

Gentaro and Swan gasped. "Oh no, that thing's here too?"

"The hell is that?!" Sela demanded, struggling not to throw up or call her eyes out.

"A piece of a collective consciousness of alien horrors from multiple realities called 'Evolt' which recently managed to enter our reality thanks to a dimensional rift torn open by a supernova," Kengo explained. "Space Squad was unable to handle it, so the entire Gaimist Pantheon had to show up just to hold the line. It seems as if all the chaos has allowed a small fragment of the greater entity to find another way into our universe."

"So THAT is what my Lord is facing…" Hiiro murmured, horrified. "It is worse than I could have possibly imagined."

"And that's just a small piece of it?!" Mizuki asked in disbelief.

"Lady Malika, preserve us," Satsuki breathed.

"She… Kind of is? But I think she's a bit busy fighting the main body, so… Looks like this one is up to us," Poppy said nervously.

"Hey, thanks for causing so much dimensional instability we were able to open a backdoor into your reality here," the other Evolt spoke, every syllable underlined by the tortured screams of millions of dying souls, pulses of agony coursing through their nerves as he spoke directly into the minds of everyone present. It was, needless to say, an unpleasant experience for everyone save Evolt, who was practically having an orgasm. "Now all I have to do is eat your planet and I'll become strong enough to make a big enough black hole to let us through, bypassing the barricade those fruity gods have set up at our initial breach!"

He opened one of his hands, a solid black cube which somehow had far more than six sides while still being recognizably a cube appeared, every surface covered in gold and black bottles. He snapped his claws, the sound echoing like a supernova annihilating an entire civilized system, and the box shifted and reconfigured itself in ways the human – – or android, or AI, or zyuman, or what have you – – mine was completely incapable of fastening. More black holes opened up in the sky, stone towers descending from them and piercing the earth, the grinding of stone against stone filling the air as they started to dig into the planet, red energy coursing up their lengths from the surface and into the black hole, colossal chunks of turf breaking off and floating into the air as gravitational distortions liberated them from the ground and sucked them into the holes in reality. "It took a lot of energy to open this bypass, so I'm afraid I can't just destroy the world and give you a quick death. Instead, I'm going to use my Pandora Towers to dig into your planet's core and rip this Earth to pieces! More fun for me!"

"Wow, that does sound fun!" Evolt agreed. "Except that I'm not the one doing it! Who's this guy think he is?!"

"You from another dimension?" Z replied.

"That was a rhetorical question!" Evolt snapped.

"Oh my. Things really do seem to be escalating," Abrella noted. "I'm almost starting to become concerned. Oh well, if I die again, it won't be so bad. I can pick up where I left off I suppose."

"I don't want to die!" Z protested. "Evolt, can't you do something!"

Evolt considered this for a moment. "You're right, I can!" He decided. "if things get dicey, I'll leave."

Z stared at him. "… Will you take us with you?"

"No."

Dogranio peeked over the couch for a moment. "… Still not as scary as the spider freak," he decided before pulling his head back down.

"Okay, now we're definitely screwed," Miles decided.

"Starting to look that way," his mentor Spider-Man agreed.

"Okay, I know that colors aren't really my thing, but… All those weird colors coming out of that nightmare hole, what are they?" Noir asked.

"I don't think there are any words in any language that can describe them," Peni said faintly.

"Uh, Sento? Evolt is sort of your deal. Any idea what to do?" Emu asked Sento anxiously.

Sento stared in horror and disbelief at the cosmic horror in the sky, at the towers digging away at the earth. Finally, with a helpless shrug, he said, "Throw Banjo at him?"

"Works for me!" Ryuga cried ecstatically.

"I'll help throw him!" Evolt yelled, eager to volunteer.

"Hey! What about me?!" Kuroto demanded.

"We have more important things to deal with right now, Kuroto, we'll finish up with you later," Hiiro said dismissively, focusing on the cable connecting the alternate Evolt to the black hole he'd come out of. "Do you all see that cord? I'm guessing he is unable to fully manifest in our reality, which is why he needs a connection back to whatever world he's from. If I can cut that with my blade, that should significantly weaken him if not outright banish him from our world."

"Do you think you can cut it?" Rio asked.

Hiiro scoffed. "There is-"

"Nothing you cannot cut, we know," all of his friends said in monotone, sounding exasperated.

Hiiro hesitated. "I suppose I have been saying that rather a lot lately, haven't I?"

"A little bit," Mizuki confessed, not wishing to sound critical of her master.

"More… More important things?" Kuroto whispered. "But I'm… I'm the final boss."

"Not anymore," Parad told him.

Tiger nodded. "Yeah, in case you hadn't noticed, we seem to be having a rather sizable number of contenders for that title right now."

"If it really means that much to you, Kuroto, we promise we'll defeat you once everything else has been taken care of," Poppy assured him sweetly. "Is that good enough for you?"

Kuroto stared at her in disbelief before beginning to laugh hysterically. "Is it all right? Is it all right?! No, Poppy, it's not all right!" He screamed. "This was MY game! I was supposed to be the final boss! The last adversary you heroes faced before you could call it a day and go home! Even if I was diminished thanks to Miyamoto, and had no chance of winning, at least I would have the dignity of being able to go out on my own terms as your final opponent! But now I'm being Hijacked by all sorts of Ganons and Giant Space Fleas from Nowhere and it feels like the plotlines from like half a dozen different other stories have suddenly collided with our own and this is CERTAINLY not what was supposed to happen today but now a ridiculous number of heroes and villains and monsters and even freaking comic book characters keep shoving their heads in when they aren't wanted and making things even more complicated than they already are and you tell me I'm just supposed to, supposed to wait my fucking turn?!"

"I could kill you now, if you like," Kiriya offered helpfully.

"Kuroto, look, you can still be the final boss, we'll just fight you after everything else has been taken care of," Emu tried to sooth the madman.

"That's not being the final boss!" Kuroto yelled. "That's being the Post-Final Boss! The guy who goes down rather anticlimactically that's supposed to be challenging in theory but in practice usually misses the mark, the guy that's nothing more than a brief spike in the action before all conflicts are resolved and the credits can roll! I REFUSE to be that guy! I'm way more threatening than Yu Yevon!"

"Yeah, well, you don't exactly have much of a choice in the matter," Taiga pointed out rather testily. "So if you'll please just shut up and let us take care of this-"

"No, I will NOT shut up!" Kuroto howled… And much to everyone's amazement and alarm, he started glowing green. "This has been possibly the worst day of my life! I've been repeatedly humiliated and embarrassed, outwitted and outmatched at every turn, thwarted by an absurd number of Deus Ex Machinas and Diabolus Ex Machinas, with other people who have no business getting involved constantly showing up and stealing the spotlight, lost my genius talents, but I'll be DAMNED if I lose my status as final boss on top of all that!"

"Kuroto!" Poppy cried in alarm.

"WHAT?!"

"You're… Glowing and stuff!" Nico pointed out, bewildered and concerned.

"WHAT?!" Kuroto looked down at himself and discovered, to his surprise, they were right. "What… What the… What NOW?!"

Asuna gasped. "Wait… That glow… I'd know that hue anywhere! It's-"

Large green orbs suddenly floated off of Kuroto, swirling in the air before converging next to him. In a flash of green light, a monster stood beside him. Its lower body resembled a lion the size of a horse covered in golden armor covered in hieroglyphs and sigils resembling question marks. Where the head should have been rose the torso of a very voluptuous humanoid adorned in Egyptian-style jewelry and bandages barely covering her sizable chest, tawny muscular arms ending in claws clutching a question mark-shaped crook and flail with question mark-shaped hooks at the ends crossed across her chest. A pair of great wings, each feather engraved with hieroglyphics and question marks, sprouted from her back. Her face was a beautiful golden mask of a felinoid woman framed by a pharaonic headdress with a tiara resembling a question mark perched upon her brow. "QUIZ…"

Everyone stared blankly. "What," Parad said finally.

"Oh! Oh, and now THIS happens!" Kuroto shrieked, gesticulating madly at the monster. "Because of fucking course it does! And who are supposed to be, huh?!"

"That's a Minusaur!" Asuna exclaimed.

"A what now?" Emu asked.

"That does not look like a dinosaur to me," Satsuki pointed out, perplexed.

"That's because it's not a dinosaur," Mizuki explained. "Minusaurs are monsters born from the negative emotions of humans. While they were used as monsters of the week by the Druidon tribe, they can occur naturally as well if enough negative energies build up from a person, object, or large numbers of people. Once they have been formed, they will continue to absorb life energy from their host, growing stronger and eventually turning into giant monsters."

"Because of course they do," Hiiro muttered, rolling his eyes. "Sentai and their giant monsters…"

Kuroto threw up his hands in exasperation. "Oh! Oh! Because OF COURSE I have a parasite draining my life force now, because that's just the kind of day this is! The universe just HATES poor little Kuroto Dan! Can't give him a momen'ts respite before something else terrible happens to him! At this rate, I wouldn't be surprised if my dad comes back from the dead AGAIN to tell me for the umpteenth time how disappointed he is in me!"

He glowed some more, and more globules floated off of him and even into the Minusaur, causing it to flash green and get slightly larger. "Quiiiiiiiiiiiiz."

"Kuroto, stop! The angrier you get, the more of your life force it will drain!" Mizuki warned the villain.

"And if it's not stopped in time, you'll die!" Asuna added.

"NATURALLY!" Kuroto shouted, releasing even more globules and causing the Minusaur to get even bigger.

"Wait, why is that a bad thing?" Kiriya asked.

"Because if he dies, the Minusaur will have absorbed enough life force to evolve into its nearly invincible final form!" Asuna explained.

Kuroto opened his mouth to go on another rant… And hesitated. "Wait… But I have extra lives. Will it keep feeding off of me in my next life, too?"

Asuna blinked. "Um… I think so? We once fought a Minusaur made from a wishing rock and one of us tried to stop it from growing stronger by breaking the rock, but that just caused the Minusaur to multiply itself, so I guess in theory it would just keep on getting stronger and stronger as it continued burning through your additional lives and I really should not have just told you all that, should I have?"

Kuroto stared at her for a moment, and then started laughing insanely. "No," he agreed. "No, you should not have!"

He quickly jumped onto the back of the Minusaur. "Come, my Minusaur! I may still become the final boss yet! I will continue feeding you with my hatred in life after life, until you are so strong NOBODY will be able to defeat you! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"QUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIZ!" The Minusaur roared as it rapidly expanded to gargantuan heights, everyone scurrying backwards to keep from being crushed beneath its massive paws. The monster spread its wings and with a tremendous flap which nearly blew everyone away it rose into the air, Kuroto's laughter echoing across the battlefield as it flew higher and higher, navigating through the field of black holes as it raced into the sky and disappeared.

"… Well, shit," Parad said after a moment. "That's not good."

"You think?!" Escape snapped at him.

"And now we have to deal with Kuroto again, on top of everything else," Hiiro said wearily. "Wonderful."

Mizuki raised a hand. "Would now be a bad time to mention that things have become so chaotic here that Daijinryu has decided they threaten the balance of the entire universe and is on his way to destroy the entire solar system?"

Everyone groaned.

"AUTHOR!" Deadpool shouted skywards. "WHAT DID I SAY? WHAT DID I SAY?!"

…

Shut up Wade, I don't even know why I threw you in here in the first place.

Let this chapter be a lesson to all of you aspiring writers, dear readers. Something that seemed like a brilliant idea in your head doesn't always translate as well once you put it on paper. I could very well have ended this chapter, and this story, MUCH sooner if I hadn't listened to the numerous plot bunnies burrowing through my cranium telling me to add more and more elements that I thought would make the story funnier/more interesting. And now we have a big messy climax that hopefully I can resolve in a satisfactory manner.

Oh well. Lesson learned. I got myself into this mess, let's see if I can dig myself out of it. Tune in next time for what should HOPEFULLY be the really final phase of this overlong battle. Hope I haven't alienated you all by this point.