Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I am just borrowing the characters for some fun.

Warning: This story will contain swearing, scenes of torture and sexual innuendo. Slash.

Summary: Nothing is going to plan. The order is three days late to pick him up and Lucius Malfoy has somehow managed to get out of Azkaban. Remus always wants to talk, but Harry can't bring himself to even think of what happened in June. It was time to face facts: Harry's life belongs to the cause and his own feelings don't matter. Begins after Order of the Phoenix. Slash.

Chapter 44: To Rely on

The Scottish countryside sped past. It was a gorgeous sunny day and the compartment felt crowded and warm. Ron and Hermione sat across from him holding hands. Neville sat to his right, and kept flipping through his Familiae Haredituim contemplatively. Harry stared out the window as if in a trance. He had used all his energy earlier and now he couldn't put on a show anymore. He was headed to the Dursleys. Again. Cut off from magic for an entire summer. And this year he wasn't going to Grimmauld place halfway through. A full two months of Dudley's bullying, Uncle Vernon's threats and Aunt Petunia's diapproving glares.

"Neville, what are you looking for?" Said Hermione "Maybe we can help?"

The book slammed shut before Hermione could see what page he was on. "It's fine. Just trying to see how things work."

"You're being so secretive." Said Ron, rolling his eyes. "I told you what mine was."

Neville stuffed his Hareditum in his bag and fidgeted with the straps. "Nan is really old school about family secrets. Besides, I haven't really figured out how it works yet."

"That's okay Neville, you can tell us or not tell us when you're ready." Hermione gave Ron a nudge. " We just want to help."

"I'm fine."Neville stood and forcefully pushed his bag into the top racks. "Maybe Nan will have more answers when I get home."

Harry leaned forward and put his forehead against the glass. He closed his eyes. The glass was warm and the rocking of the train was comforting.

"Is Draco going back to Malfoy Manor this summer? Is it safe?" Said Hermione.

"Yeah." Said Harry, "It was cleared from curses a month ago."

"I'm dead excited to see my new room." Said Ron. "They made it a lot bigger, and apparently the bathroom is aces too."

Hermione rolled her eyes. Ron hadn't shut up about the new house for weeks. "Are you going to see Draco before we get to the station?"

Harry suppressed a groan. Hermione was really on fire today; maybe she had inherited an ingenium for bringing up uncomfortable topics. He hadn't told them about breaking up with Draco. He had put it off because he couldn't handle Hermiones well meaning comments and Ron's suppressed relief. And now it was too late to tell them, so it would just have to wait until September.

"Yeah. Of course." Said Harry. "When we get closer."

"Well, We'll be there in half an hour." She said looking at her watch. "So you may want to go find him now."

Harry didn't move. The glass felt so nice on his head. "Right. Yeah."

"Everything okay mate?" Said Ron.

Harry glanced up and saw one of Ron's pitying looks and stood like the chair was on fire. "I should go see him now then. Thanks Mione."

He jumped over Neville's legs and lunged for the door. Without thinking he went right and started walking down the aisle of the train. Maybe he would go to the bathroom, walk the length of the train and pretend he had talked to Draco when he got back. Plan in place Harry headed forward. He glanced in the windows of the compartments. Most of the students looked happy to be headed home for break and he could hear laughter and loud conversation through the doors. The younger years were downing candy, and the older years were listening to music.

Just before the bathrooms a space opened up and Harry walked forward to look out the window. As they got closer to the city he could see that there were more houses, and less countryside. He sighed and leaned forward to put his head down on the cooling glass again. The cold helped him think, or maybe it helped him not think about the next two months.

"Oh, Sorry, I'll just-"

Harry looked up to see Draco standing in the aisle looking right at him. Great.

"It's fine." Said Harry straightening. "I was just leaving anyway."

At least now when he told Hermione he had talked to Draco he wouldn't be lying.

"Are you okay?" Said Draco.

His eyes were big and that rogue hair was dancing by his left eye. Damn it, he looked genuinely concerned. He was also genuinely sexy.

Harry looked out the window and gulped. "Fine."

He could hear Draco's heavy measured steps as he came into the little room and stood next to him. It was like electricity was coming off his body. Draco leaned against the windows.

"Summer at the Dursleys?"

Harry licked his lips and gave a weighted look to his former boyfriend. "Who told you that?"

"It was impossible not to hear about it. Mother, Father, Severus and Lupin were ranting and plotting about it all last week." Draco raised his eyebrows as if to say 'so give me the full story.'

"What, do you all just sit around and talk about me?" Said Harry sarcastically.

"Pretty much." Said Draco in amusement. "Especially when you're doing something stupid."

"Well, as shit as they are, I'd like to prevent my family from dying." Said Harry. "It's not another thing I need on my conscience."

Draco sighed. "There are other ways to protect them and Grimmauld place would be much better for you."

Harry pushed away from the window and began to walk away. "You would like that wouldn't you? Beside's I'm not your problem anymore, isn't that what you wanted?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Hissed Draco

Harry turned back and squared off his stance. "You know what it means. You wanted me out of your life and away from your family. Well, I'm doing the best I can to do that. Anyway it's your mom's house and she probably hates me by now. But don't worry I'll stay far away so she can live a long life. "

Rather than being angry Draco looked completely stunned. "Pansy told me you thought I broke up with you because you were dangerous but I-"

Harry shook his head in disbelief. "God Draco, you said that being away from me was for the best. For the best for you. Fine. Whatever. So let me do it. Stop talking about me to everyone. From here on out whatever happens has nothing to do with you."

"You're spending your summer with those horrid muggles to get away from me or my mother." Said Draco as if seeing the light for the first time. "Or because you think Mother hates you or something. How is that not directly about me?"

"I can handle my relatives." Harry's nostrils flared.

"They locked you in a fucking cupboard and starved you and Merlin knows what else." Draco's voice was more dangerous than he had ever heard it before. "You shouldn't have to handle them."

"Grow up, Draco." Said Harry. "There's a lot of things I shouldn't have to handle, but I do. I handle it. By myself. As I always have."

"You know it wouldn't be weak to get some help." Said Draco. "Mother would be happy to have you stay at Grimmauld place. And Lupin would give anything to spend time with you."

"That's rich." Said Harry, letting his anger fly, "Considering you broke up with me for the exact reason I can't rely on anyone. This war takes everything from me. It either kills them, or hurts them or scares them off. Nobody stays near Harry Potter for long without having some scars to show for it."

Draco's face had drained of colour. "Harry that's not-"

Harry shut down his emotions. "Have a good summer Draco."

He fled before Draco had a chance to say anything else. He was bound to kiss him or strangle him if they kept talking. Harry tried to take in some calming breaths, but he just felt more panicked. He hadn't wanted to lose it like that. He had wanted to go off for the summer with the illusion that he was perfectly fine. He didn't want Draco to know what a mess he was, and it didn't help that the slytherin had seemed perfectly composed in comparison.

He took a moment to steel himself before entering the compartment again. Get a grip Harry.

Ron, Hermione and Neville had started a game of Exploding Snap, and Hermione was gleefully tapping a card with her wand when Harry walked in.

Ron groaned. "Come save me Harry. Hermione is kicking our arse."

"Speak for yourself." Said Neville "I'm only two points behind."

"Want us to deal you in?" Said Hermione with a smile.

Harry shook his head and slouched back in his chair. He stared out the window at the buildings. "No."

He could feel his friends exchanging glances.

"You okay?" Said Neville tentatively. Clearly he had lost the stare off.

Harry clenched his jaw. "Fine. I just- The Dursleys is all."

"We'll write you tones!" Said Ron, "And Mom will send some baking. Apparently she's really liking the new kitchen."

"I know." Harry ground out. "Just, keep playing your game."

He counted to twelves before the game started up again. He was thankful that they hadn't insisted on talking. He really needed a moment of quiet before the summer. Just one moment before he was essentially a muggle punching bag for two months.

Far too quickly they were pulling into the station at 9 ¾'s. Harry could see all the happy parents waiting at the station for their kids. The volume on the train had just been turned up, and people were yelling in the aisle. Harry didn't move. It would take a few minutes for the rush to clear and there was no point in hurrying out to the Dursleys.

He spotted a lock of bright blond hair and turned to his left to watch Draco greeting his parents. Of course he had somehow been one of the first ones off the train. There was no hugging or crying for a Malfoy greeting, but now Harry could see the warmth in Narcissa's eyes as she squeezed his shoulder. Lucius flicked his wand and made the trunk shrink to pocket sized before it disappeared into his robes. Draco was clearly whispering something to his parents with desperation. All three looked around the platform and shook their heads. Narcissa ushered him forward and within moments they were out of Harry's sight.

"Here Harry." Ron held out Harry's bag for him.

Harry sighed and finally sat up straight. It was time to go. "Thanks."

"Bye guy. I'll see you all next year." Said Neville. "I can see Nan waiting for me from here."

Hermione gave him a hug. "Please write."

Neville's cheeks pinked. "O'course."

Harry stood as Neville left. He knew Ron and Hermione probably wanted the cabin for a more private goodbye, so it was his turn to go next. "Well, I'm off."

"Harry Potter you will write to me this summer or I will not help you with any homework next year." Said Hermione.

He smiled. "That's an empty threat."

She swung at his shoulder playfully.

"I'll write." Said Harry. "As much as the Dursley's let me. Remus will visit in a week and I'll send some letters with him. Ron, you're sure it's okay for Hedwig to stay at the Burrow?"

"Of course it is." Ron said

Harry nodded. He had sent her to the Burrow before they left Hogwarts, but he always felt bad leaving her.

He was enveloped in a hug. First from Hermione, and then Ron came in over her to pat his shoulder. He was reminded that maybe he hadn't told Draco the whole truth. There were two people who had been there through it all that he could rely on.

Eventually Harry pulled back. "Have a good summer."

Ron nodded. "It will be over before you know it."

"I'm gonna leave now so you two can snog." Said Harry

Their laughter followed him through the door and down the aisle. It was something to hold on to to get through the bad days ahead.

There was no one waiting for him on the platform, so Harry made a b-line for the exit. He would rather not spend too much time with all the happy families if he could avoid it.

"Harry dear!" Someone had wrapped him in a hug. Someone who smelled of baked bread and grass and lavender.

"Hi Mrs. Weasley." Harry pulled back. They hadn't spoken since the strange Malfoy intervention. "Ugh. Ron will be along in just a minute."

Her hand smoothed out a wrinkle in his robes. "I just felt so sick with worry watching you go into that battle. How have you been?"

"I'm fine." Said Harry "You know the Malfoy's actually saved your life again, and then saved mine."

She pulled back and gave him a mischievous smile. "Yes, yes. Well, it seems that they have been very helpful."

Harry suppressed a chuckle. He guessed that would be the best apology he would get. "They have been."

"Can you come to the Burrow this summer?" She said. "We made up two guests rooms in the new build, one for you and one for Hermione. You're welcome anytime. Last summer we didn't even get to see you and it just didn't feel right."

Warmth spread from the tips of his fingers and down to the depths of his stomach. The Weasleys had put in a room for him. Even though they had fought with him, they had thought to give him a space in their new home. It meant more than he could say. When he spoke his voice was heavy, like he was trying to talk with flour in his mouth. "I- Thank you Mrs. Wealsey."

She took him by the shoulders and looked him in the eye. "You're always welcome dear. I've adopted you, and once a Weasley always a Weasley."

Harry blinked hard and looked at the ground. "That means a lot. Thank you."

"So, you'll come to visit? Remus won't keep you all to himself this year?"

Harry laughed and shook his head. "Unfortunately It looks like I'll be at the Dursleys all summer. In fact, they're waiting by the entrance so I better go."

She frowned at that. "Hmmm...well I'll send lots of cakes and I have this new muffin recipe I think you'll quite like."

"You always have the best baking, Mrs. Weasley." Said Harry. Impulsively he leaned forward and gave her a quick hug. "Have a good summer."

Her eyes sparkled as she looked at him. "You too dear. Write often and stay out of trouble."

"Yes, mam." Harry turned and walked towards the exit before he changed his mind and begged Mrs. Weasley to take him. They had already lost one house, they didn't need to lose another one. The farther away he was the less chance of Death Eaters coming knocking.

Once he passed into muggle London everything felt less bright. He could smell the burning of metal from trains stopping and the air felt muggy. Everyone was bustling in different directions, and intent on getting to their platform. No one even looked up at the strange boy with a trunk who had suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Harry dragged his trunk through the station. He was glad he had put a featherlight charm on it before leaving, six years of textbooks were getting heavy.

He exited onto York road and immediately saw the impatient forms of the Dursleys. There were hundreds of people moving about, but it wasn't hard to miss the large form of uncle Vernon looking at his watch, shaking his head and motioning angrily to his aunt. Harry took a deep breath and headed forward.

Aunt Petunia turned as he got close. "What took you so long?"

"Hello Aunt Petunia." Said Harry robotically "It's good to see you too."

His uncle came close and shoved a finger in his chest. "I'll not have any cheek from you. Get your things and lets go. Do you have any idea how expensive it is to park here? I'll have that-that-Dumbles pay for it."

Harry wiped the spittle off his face. He didn't bother correcting the headmasters name. "Yes, Uncle Vernon."

"Dudley we're leaving!"

Harry trailed behind them and listened to Dudley complaining. It was too hot, he wanted to go shopping, he was hungry; Dudley had a million things to whine about. Harry bit is lip to keep from making a sarcastic comment. He was only five minutes into the summer and he was dreading it.

The drive back to number 4 was long and uncomfortable. Harry did his best to stay quiet, but no matter what he did he could not win. Dudley always found something to blame him for ,Uncle Vernon always found something to insult and Aunt Petunia always found something to tisk about. After a year of standing up for himself and becoming more in control of his destiny it was jarring to feel so small.

Uncle Vernon popped the boot and glared at him. "You'll bring your trunk to be locked in the cupboard. Then you'll go to your room and be so quiet I forget you're here. Understood?"

"Yes, Uncle Vernon." Harry bit back a sigh. If Deveraux could see him now the man would run in the other direction. He pulled out his trunk easily and began to pull it towards the house.

"That looks heavy." Said Dudley, eyes suspicious "But you've pulled it out in one go."

"What have you done?" hissed Aunt Petunia, as if he had murdered a man in front of her.

Harry shrugged. "It's pretty common to put a featherweight charm on your trunk. All those books get heavy."

Uncle Vernon grabbed his shoulder so hard it would bruise and got in his face. "I'll not have your freakiness in my house! Get it inside quickly."

"I'm trying to, but your kinda holding me here." Snarked Harry before he could stop himself.

Vernons eyes narrowed and he let go of his nephews arm with a violent shove that almost made him fall. Harry closed his eyes and centered himself before standing up straight and storming into the house with his trunk. He threw it into the cupboard and stomped up the stairs towards the spare bedroom.

"Now see here. I'll not have this attitude in my house boy!" Yelled Uncle Vernon face getting red. His aunt Petunia was already locking the closet door with a key, while Dudley wandered off into the living room.

"I'm doing what you want, okay?" Said Harry, feeling drained and on fire all at the same time.

"Well do it without an attitude." Said Uncle Vernon, ponting with his hand that still held the car keys. "Or so help me, I'll pound a better attitude into ya. Go to the spare room and make me forget you exist!"

Harry bit back his response and silently walked to the spare bedroom. His eyes scanned the many locks and the cat flap, hopefully they wouldn't lock the door on him this year. He closed the door behind himself willingly, he wanted to put as much between him and the Durlseys as possible. The room itself was just as depressing as he remembered it. The bed was small and lumpy, compared to the one he had in Gryffindor, and everything was covered in a fine layer of dust. He crossed to the window and opened it to let in some fresh air.

Harry looked at the small window and the boring beige walls, and thought about the beautiful room Sirius had made him at Grimmauld place. He had chosen to come here instead, something must be wrong with him. Suddenly feeling exhausted he lay down in bed and stared at the ceiling. Maybe he could just sleep for two months straight and then wake up in September.

They hadn't given him any dinner that first night, but he had snuck food as he made breakfast in the morning. Harry was pretty sure that his Aunt Petunia had seen him munching on the toast, but had turned a blind eye. Dudley had been happy to completely ignore his cousins existence, which was about as good as Harry could have hoped for.

As soon as breakfast was over Harry had gone back into his room to hide. It was lonely and long. He had managed to sneak up his wand in his sock, but not much else. There were some bad mystery novels in the bookshelf, but there wasn't much else to do in the room. He didn't dare try to occupy the main living spaces, and something about the nice weather just did not fit into his mood. Mostly he lay in bed thinking far too much and feeling sorry for himself.

On the second day he received letters from Pansy and Ron. He smiled at the huge care package that Mrs. Weasley had packed him; There was some kind of loaf, muffins and a cake. He pulled out a muffin as he read Pansy's letter. It looked like everyone was settling in nicely at the safe house. The Malfoy's summer home was big enough that there were no more than 2 people per room. With a library and large backyard there was also plenty to keep the occupants busy. Apparently, Dobby and the Malfoy elf didn't get along. Harry laughed at the image of two house elves trying to outdo each other and driving everyone crazy in the process. She had, of course, added ps: write to Draco.

The paper burst into flames as soon as he finished reading it and he sighed. Harry had meant what he said to Draco on the train about relying on people. He had gotten used to having a boyfriend and had gotten weak. There was nothing like being at the Dursleys to remind him how unloveable he was. A Knobby kneed death trap was not most people's idea of a dream man. Harry loved Draco, so the kindest thing was to let him go.

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On Monday, he was roused from his melancholy by shouting at the front door. Harry jumped out of bed, displaying more energy than he had in a week, and pulled open the door. Luckily, the Dursleys hadn't been locking it; maybe they didn't see the point when Harry seemed to have put himself in exile all on his own. He rushed down the stairs and froze at the sight he saw before him.

Remus and Lucius had come to Private Drive.

For a moment Harry didn't fully process it. He kept his two lives separate; his depressing muggle life and his dangerous, slightly less depressing magical life. Lucius Malfoy was the epitome of a proud wizard, so the idea of him in a muggle house seemed laughable.

There was a bang and Harry shook himself out of his stupor. Aunt Petunia was trying to prevent them entry, and Remus was not taking that well at all.

"It's okay. They're with me. Let them in." Said Harry rushing into the fray.

Aunt Petunia turned and glared at him. "I'll not have more freaks in the house. It's bad enough you're here."

Harry winced at the look on Remus's face. He looked like he was about to go full werewolf.

"Be that as it may," Lucius's smooth, condescending voice seemed to wash over Remus's anger like water. " It is in your best interest to let us in peacefully. The alternative still will end the same just much less pleasantly for you and your son."

Dudley, who had been standing in the doorway to the living room, made a high pitched sound, grabbed his bottom and disappeared into the parlour. His aunt seemed to waver.

"Are you threatening me? In my own home?"

Lucius rolled his eyes. "I see I need to be more plain. Get out of our way or I will remove you myself. Believe me, I have done much worse things in my life."

She took one evaluating look at Lucius's aristocratic form and Remus's glowing yellow eyes and seemed to determine that he was serious. "Dudley, we're going. Let's go get some ice cream sweetums. And when we get back these freaks will be gone."

Her eyes bore into Harry's and he heard the unspoken or else. Harry nodded. He didn't want them seeing more of this muggle hell than absolutely necessary anyway.

They all stood about awkwardly as Dudley, hands still clutched to his bottom, exited the front door and Petunia grabbed her purse. Finally they were gone and Harry let out a sigh of relief.

"I see that Severus was not exaggerating." Said Lucius, looking around the front hall with distaste.

"Why? What did he say about them?" Harry said, clearly they did spend all day talking about him behind his back like Draco had said.

"Harry are you alright?" Remus looked like he had calmed himself through force of will. "What are you even doing here? You should be at Grimmauld place. I can take you there now."

Harry shook his head. "I'm fine. Although, since you're here, maybe you could unlock the cupboard under the stairs so I can get some of my school books out of my trunk. It would be nice not to not have to rush my summer homework."

The two men exchanged weighted glances. It appeared that in this they were allies. Lucius flicked his wand and the door swung open. He took five broad steps forward and looked into the cupboard.

Lucius's lower lip protruded in distaste. "So is this the cupboard that you spoke about from before?"

Harry pushed past him, opened his trunk and began taking out books. An uncomfortable twisted feeling began in his stomach. "Stop it. I'm not doing this. Just let me get my books."

"I'll take that as a yes." The Malfoy patriarchs eyes seemed to study every corner of the small space.

Harry hurried to get his things. He piled parchment, ink, books and a quill in the hall and swung the lid shut. He hoped he had remembered everything, but right now it felt more urgent to get Lucius to stop giving that look to everything he saw. He gathered his things in a messy pile in his arms. "I'll just go throw this in my room and then make some tea. We can talk in the parlour. Oh, and could you lock the door so my Aunt doesn't know?"

Remus was inspecting the pictures of Dudley on the wall as if looking for clues to a murder. "Oh yes, wouldn't want her to know you were doing anything as nefarious as doing your homework."

Harry groaned. "Just-just wait here."

He sprinted up the stairs, hoping to throw his things down before they had a mind to see him room. To his dismay Remus followed him up and audibly gasped at the locks on his bedroom door. Harry tossed everything on the lumpy bed, hoping to usher him out, but of course, Remus was already inside looking everything over with a fine tooth comb. And just to make it extra humiliating Lucius sauntered in not far behind him.

"I don't think they have enough locks on that door." Said Lucius sarcastically.

"They haven't been using them this summer." Harry went to look out the window so he wouldn't have to see their faces. "Really I'm fine. Getting fed and everything."

"They used those locks in the past?" Remus was clearly trying to sound comforting, but an edge of anger worked its way in.

"What a rousing endorsement." Said Lucius "You're not being locked in your room right now and you're getting fed. Clearly we were wrong to doubt your relatives ability to care for a child."

Harry leaned out the window and closed his eyes. It was only one floor up, maybe he could jump and make a run for it. That sounded preferable to spending more time going over these old wounds.

A hand touched his shoulder and Harry turned to see Remus's concerned eyes. No anger this time. "Harry, what is going on with you?"

"I-" Harry bit his lip. He was surprised to learn that he did actually want to talk to Remus. But he wouldn't talk about Draco in front of his father.

The werewolf saw were his eyes had landed and seemed to deduce the problem. "Lucius would you give us a moment to speak privately?"

The blond nodded. "Of course. I'll go explore the rest of this charming house."

Harry waited until the door was shut before speaking. "Draco and I broke up."

Remus nodded. "I know. Narcissa told me."

The twisting in his stomach intensified tenfold. He spoke with his hand moving in wide emphatic arches. "So, you see why I can't go to grimmauld place! It belongs to her, and I'm sure she hates me. And I promised Draco I would get away from him and his family, and staying in their house doesn't really qualify. And Dumbledore said my family would probably die if I didn't stay here for the summer."

"Harry, no." Remus reached out and took Harry's hands in his. "Narcissa is not mad at you at all. We all know how these things go, you're sixteen. You have a long ways to go before you're ready to settle down. No one holds that against you. And Draco can say whatever he wants about you staying away from his family, but Lucius and Narcissa get to choose if they want to see you for themselves, and they like you quite a bit. Lucius Malfoy doesn't take time out of his day to intimidate just anyone's muggle relatives. And as for the safety of your family, quite frankly I couldn't give a toss about them, but there are other ways to protect them than having you stay here."

"Dumbledore said there isn't anything as good as this, It's ancient blood magic."Said Harry.

"I think by now you have realized that Albus is as human as the rest of us. There are plenty of other ways if you wanted." Said Remus "This is not about that."

Harry turned away and began to organize the pile on his bed. It was easier to talk when he was doing something. "So maybe the Malfoy's don't hate me. But I am dangerous. That's why Draco ended it. So, the less people that care the less people die. "

"Don't do this. Don't isolate yourself. I understand the impulse. I didn't have any friends before Hogwarts, you know. I thought it would be too dangerous to be around people, and besides I thought who would want me as a friend?" Remus's voice was calm and measured. "But then Albus believed enough in me to give me a chance to go to school. And there I met your father and Sirius. Do you have any idea how scared I was the first time they came with me on a full moon? I was terrified. But they actually made it better and our friendship grew stronger because of it. Letting people in and letting go of the fear that I would hurt them was one of the best things I ever did."

Harry sighed. "It's not the same."

"No, it's not the same." Said Remus. "But I think the lesson still stands. I spoke to Draco the other day, and he had a very different explanation."

"Sirius died because he came to protect me. You know what they said when they killed Cedric? Kill the spare." Harry threw a book. "You can't deny that being near me gets people killed."

There was a long pause before Remus responded. "Well, I know that Sirius wanted to protect you, and I think what he wants counts for something. This isn't just your war. We all believe in this cause. You can't take responsibility for what happens in the whole war."

Harry shoved his new pile of books on the bookcase. Remus didn't get it. "Right. Fine."

"I know you think I don't understand Harry, but I think it's you who doesn't understand." Said Remus. "We love you. We care about you. We're not going anywhere. And it's what we want to do, and what we want also matters."

Harry shook his head. It was inconceivable to him that people loved him like that. They were here because they needed him. They needed him to kill Voldemort. That was all. The people who had loved him as more were dead or had dumped him. "Okay. You made your point. Let's go find Malfoy before he curses my Aunt's bed or something."

"Not a bad idea." Muttered Remus as he followed along behind him.

Harry found him standing in the middle of the parlour looking like he was avoiding touching anything and being infected with it's muggleness.

He looked relieved when he saw them. "Very well then, has Lupin brought you to your senses? Can we leave this horrible house?"

"You're welcome to leave, but I'm staying." Said Harry.

Lucius sighed and reached into his robes. "Very well, then I have to give you this."

He held out a folded sheet of parchment stamped with the Malfoy seal.

Harry stared at the paper. "Who is it from?"

"Draco." Lucius was looking at him expectantly.

"No." Harry put his hands in his pockets to prevent himself from changing his mind. "Tell him I said everything I needed to on the train and remind him he wanted to be rid of me."

Lucius didn't flinch at the insults to his son, but he also didn't put away the letter. "He was very insistent that you read it."

Harry scoffed. "Well I'm very insistent you get it away from me. I don't want to hear what he has to say."

"Harry, you are not protecting anyone by pushing them away." Said Remus.

"Don't." Said Harry. "Besides it's not pushing him away when he broke up with me."

"Suit yourself." Lucius gave Remus a pointed look and put away the letter. "I have no desire to be involved in my son's love life anyway."

Remus looked defeated, but finally nodded."Okay Harry. But we'll be back to check on you in a week."

"You don't have to do that." Snaped Harry. "I don't need a babysitter."

"I want to." There was something in Remus's eyes that made him nod and back down.

Remus came forward and hugged him. Harry stiffened, but patted his back awkwardly.

The werewolf pulled him close "Think about what I said. You don't have to agree, just think about it."

"Fine." Harry relented half laughing.

To his surprise Lucius reached out and patted him on the shoulder. "If the muggles give you any problems, let me know."

I'll do that if I want to get them killed, thought Harry. "Course."

Once they left Harry walked around the house aimlessly and tried to see it through Lucius's eyes. It was so plain, so muggle, so average. The mantle piece was decorated with pictures of Dudley, and everything was staged perfectly to make it seem like Harry had never been there. Feeling lost Harry sighed, walked back to his room and shut the door. His room may be a prison, but it somehow still felt less stifling than the rest of the house.

HPHPHPHP

Harry had paid for their visit. His uncle Vernon had yelled himself hoarse that night and the next morning when he had gone to use the loo he had found the door locked. It was the summer before second year all over again and he couldn't very well threaten them with Sirius hurting them like he had in the past. He supposed he could tell them that Lcuius and Remus would be back, but the week locked away would be worth how mad Aunt Petunia would be when wizards showed up again. Instead he had eaten some muffins and settled in to get some homework done. It wasn't fun, but at least he could be productive.

Except he wasn't productive. He was miserable. He couldn't stop thinking about how he had yelled at Draco on the train. He hadn't wanted to read Draco's letter before, but now he couldn't stop thinking about what it may have said. Somehow he had chosen to sit locked in a room at the Dursleys, rather than be happy. He hadn't even fought for it. Harry hadn't been able to admit it to Remus or Ron and Hermione, but after days of isolation he figured he should at least admit it to himself; he had chosen this. He had chosen not to fight for Draco to stay. He had chosen to push them all away, and chosen to sit alone in a room for two months.

It was pathetic. And Harry hated himself for it. He hadn't wanted to fight for Draco because deep down he felt like he wasn't worth fighting for. He didn't think he was good enough for Draco, and he had been too scared to give it his all and really see that Draco agreed. So he chose misery, over potential happiness. Because pushing for what he wanted just seemed so foriegn. He had just accepted when Draco dumped him. How stupid was that?

And then he thought about what Pansy had said. What if she was right and Draco thought himself Dark? Harry knew it was ridiculous, but what if Draco didn't? It made him want to hold Draco close and tell him that he could never be dark. That even though he had come from a dark family, he had one of the purest hearts that Harry had ever seen.

Harry sighed and pulled a bit of parchment towards him. He couldn't let things end like they had on the train. He had been to angry, too vicious. He needed to set things right, if only to reassure Draco. He bit his lip and began to write.

Dear Draco...

The days passed in a blur of cake, letter writing, homework and sulking. It was terribly boring, but Harry couldn't help but feel like maybe he had needed the time to think. In the past he would have minded being locked away, but now it felt like a relief. Call it depression or apathy, but it felt freeing for no one to expect anything from him. In fact, his family expected the absolute worst from him and Harry was capitalizing on it.

Everyday he re-read the letter he had written to Draco and made changes to it. He wanted it to be perfect. He needed Draco to know that, boyfriend or not, Harry was there for him. He was in 100%, and he would make sure Draco never went dark. He needed to find the perfect way to tell Draco that he still loved him, without demanding anything from him. Luckily, he had a week before Lucius came back, so he had the time to perfect every word.

BANG

Harry jumped from his bed and grabbed the wall to steady himself. The floor was shaking. It sounded like there were explosions. He had heard a scream, but now it was quiet. His heart thumped in his chest and the sudden silence felt more eery than the explosions. There was a hum of energy that made his hair stand on end, and ears ring.

The whole house shook. The wood creaked and groaned. The floor tilted violently to the left and furniture tumbled on its side. Harry pulled out his wand and held it at the ready. Moving carefully on the crooked floor he made his way to the bedroom door. He groaned when the door didn't move. It was locked. He was a sitting duck.

Harry looked around the room, trying to see what he could use. This was exactly the kind of situation that Snape and Lucius had wanted him to avoid. Luckily, he had learned a thing or two in the last year. He flicked his wand and sent the book shelf, bed and dresser toward the door. It not only blocked the Death Eaters entrance, but also freed up space for him to move. Harry pushed the window open all the way, and hoped he wouldn't have to jump out of it. That would be a last resort.

He paused momentarily to look outside. It looked like someone had ripped a large piece of plastic wrap in front of the Dursley's house. Figures in black were pushing in through the jagged hole in the wards. The smell of smoke was in the air and Harry could see that the Dursleys family car had been set on fire.

He breathed out deeply and set his stance. There were at least 20 Death Eaters. Hopefully, luck would be on his side again today. Unfortunately, he would hazard a guess that his Aunt, Uncle and cousin didn't have any on their side. All he could wish for for them now was a quick death.

There was a sudden loud noise and the door shook. Bits of dust flew into the air. The wood cracked.

BANG

The door exploded into splinters and smoke permeated the air. Harry tried to protect his eyes while still watching what was coming. He could see two ominous figures in the doorway, but he was sure there were more waiting behind them.

Harry fired a slashing hex at the door. He grabbed a lamp and threw it at them while they were shielding the spell. He didn't want to give them a chance to think. Unable to move backwards one of the men yelped as he was hit. The other smirked and fired back.

Harry dodged and spun before firing again. It was like the high stakes version of his first ever defense class. Then Death Eaters tried to make their way into the room, but kept getting caught in the small space and stuck behind furniture. Harry rained down curses. Now was not the time to give them a chance to strategize.

Just as he was beginning to tire, a spell zipped past his head. It took Harry a moment to realize, but the spell was going the wrong way. It was going towards the Death Eaters. He spun to see Draco on his broom in the window looking like a windswept angel.

Harry's heart skipped a beat.

"Draco! What are you doing here?!" Screamed Harry. "You need to leave! It's not safe!"

"Get on the broom!" Said Draco urgently. "I'll cover you."

Harry groaned, but glanced at the advancing men in the door. He hated to admit it, but getting on that broom was his best shot. He ran towards the window and ducked down, trusting Draco to place his cover. He bent awkwardly to get through the small space and still leave room for Draco to fire spells. The window opening was smaller than he remembered it being the summer of second year.

"Why are you here?" Hissed Harry

Draco gave a pursed lipped smile. "You wouldn't read my letter, so I snuck out to see you."

Harry lowered himself onto the broom. He was in front of Draco, cradled by his two knees. He could see that below them, more Death Eaters has started to realise what was happening. They were positioning to shoot them out of the sky. "No one knows you're here?"

"No." Said Draco.

Well, there went any hope that Lucius or Narcissa would pop up to provide backup.

"We need to go."

Draco flung one last hex that made the room explode in billowing white smoke and Harry turned the broom away. He did a sharp right and rose higher in the sky. Maybe if he got high enough the spells wouldn't reach them?

"You have to go out through the gap in the wards." Draco's lips tickled his ears.

Harry sucked in a breathe. "Hold on."

He barrel rolled them and took them on a zig zag course. He wouldn't make their trip prectiable. The yelling down below had reached a fever pitch. Harry urged the broom to go faster, but it slowed under the weight of two. They were one foot away.

"Almost there. Come on, come on."

The broom shook and veered off course. The wood was vibrating under his hands, but didn't respond to his commands. Abruptly, they fell.

A/N: Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews! As promised 2 chapters! I hope you enjoyed. I'll get right to work on the next one so I don't keep you waiting too long!