So...I spent ages responding to everyone's reviews, posted this chapter, and then later on realized that I never saved the document with all the review responses on it. I don't know guys I don't know. Mental fail? It happens sometimes okay
Because I don't feel like spending another hour doing something I've already done, I'm just going to say thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter and I'll let you all read this next update without further ado. See you all next Sunday ;)
Chapter Forty Four | Nil est amore veritatis
[Nothing is more sublime than love of truth]
Vivian Blair hates Sirius Black. It is one of those immutable facts of nature. It isn't something that can be altered with just a couple of crooked smiles and a conversation about muggle bands. It can't be.
These are the thoughts that occupy Vivian's mind as she heads down to breakfast the next morning. The never-ending gossip that pours from Rosalind's mouth isn't enough to derail these mantras. Not even the sight of Morrigan – out of breath, running towards them with her undone tie flapping around her neck – properly distracts her from her thoughts. Well, not completely anyway.
"Where have you been?" Rosalind demands, eyeing Morrigan with a raised eyebrow. "You never came back to the dorm last night."
Morrigan pushes her hair over her shoulder with a proud smirk. As they walk through the door of the Great Hall, she nods over at the Hufflepuff table and murmurs, "That's because I was otherwise engaged with a certain Captain."
Rosalind's mouth drops. In a high-pitched voice, she says, "You absolute slut! So how was it? Does he really wear his Quidditch jumper to bed?"
"I don't kiss and tell," is Morrigan's smug reply. She raises her chin proudly and strides off to the Slytherin table.
Rosalind practically hiccups, "Yes you do – you always talk about your conquests!"
Vivian rolls her eyes and shares a look with Narcissa, who doesn't look all that impressed either.
"I can't believe she slept with Sheaffer. That's so gross," Narcissa mutters as they head to the Slytherin table to join their friends.
Vivian grunts in agreement, but she's only half listening. She's too busy reminding herself that she hates Sirius Black and that his crooked smiles are –
Gorgeous.
Her eyes alight on his from across the room, and with a start, Vivian stops walking altogether. He's looking at her. No – staring.
"Vivian? You coming?" Narcissa asks from a few paces ahead.
The question is enough to make Vivian remember herself, and her mantra, and that immutable fact of nature that she's been mentally repeating all morning. Immediately, her eyes narrow, and she sends Sirius a look of haughty disregard as she falls back into step beside Narcissa. She maintains that expression all the way to the Slytherin table…until she realizes that the only seats available are all facing the rest of the room. When she grudgingly sits down, she shoots another look over at the Gryffindors, only to sigh out in relief when she sees that Sirius has his head turned away from her and is talking to one of his stupid friends.
Thank Merlin.
" – And no, he doesn't go to bed with his jumper on. Where did you even hear that?" Morrigan is demanding, having apparently already spilled everything about her rendezvous with Shaeffer. Rosalind is practically leaning right into the pitcher of pumpkin juice, she's so excited.
"Oh you know, people talk," Rosalind waves her hand. Then she pauses and turns to Vivian with a wide smirk. "I've recently heard something about you too, Blair. About Sirius Black."
Vivian, who is in the middle of taking a sip of blessedly hot tea, promptly starts coughing. Rosalind takes her reaction as a sign of impending gossip and haphazardly tosses a napkin at her to hurry it along.
"What?" Vivian hisses, still coughing a bit as she grabs the napkin and tries to salvage her now tea-stained shirt.
Rosalind looks positively ravenous as she leans in and whispers, "I heard that you and him do all sorts of things in your detentions," she trails off, wags her eyebrows, and giggles when she sees Vivian's face turn several shades darker. "Oh it's true, isn't it! I knew it!"
"No one can resist Sirius Black," Morrigan shrugs, completely unfazed. Her eyes do flicker with interest, though, as she watches Vivian's reaction.
Said reaction is quick to turn very annoyed, very quickly. Slamming her tea cup down onto the table, Vivian loudly denies, "I do not get it on with – " Then, realizing just how loud her voice is, she ends with a hissed, "With Sirius Black."
She hates Sirius Black. His crooked smiles make him look constipated. His gushing about muggle rock bands is childish and insipid.
"Come on, Vivian, you at least have to admit that you've thought about it," Rosalind says.
Vivian blushes again.
"I mean, just imagine what he'd look like underneath you. I bet he likes strong women who can wrestle him down – "
"Rosalind I am two seconds away from lighting your hair on fire," Vivian growls, throwing her napkin down onto her plate. Suddenly, she isn't very hungry.
Narcissa, who has remained tight-lipped thus far (mostly due to her unimaginable disgust at the mental images provided by her friend) groans, "Please. Stop talking about my stupid cousin like that, Rosalind."
Morrigan smirks. "Don't be a pansy, Cissy. I rather like where this conversation is going. Just look at Blair's face!" she crows, finding way too much amusement in the sight of Vivian's red countenance.
Rosalind giggles loudly. Vivian just leans forward to rub her forehead with a scowl.
"Who, exactly, is spreading this filth around the school?" she demands after a moment.
Morrigan lifts an eyebrow. "Why, so you can go hex them?"
Vivian shoots her a glower and doesn't grace that with a response (even though that's precisely the reason).
Rosalind hums and wonders, "Well if you're not getting wild with Sirius Black, why are you always out so late? I figured you two were sneaking around the castle after hours, taking a page out of Morrigan's book and christening empty classrooms."
Narcissa groans again. Morrigan merely raises an eyebrow curiously, completely unoffended that her own extracurriculars have been brought up once more. As for Vivian…well.
"I've already told you, I have prefect patrols and I've been procrastinating on homework – "
"She never used to be this busy," Morrigan says to Rosalind, ignoring Vivian's stumbled explanation entirely. The way she says 'busy' sounds very skeptical.
Rosalind nods, and opens her mouth to reply, but this time Vivian cuts her off to firmly say, "Oh shut up with the whole Sirius Black thing. Like I would ever like him."
Or his stupid crooked smiles or his gushing –
Morrigan and Rosalind both raise their eyebrows at her.
"No one ever said you liked him, Blair," Rosalind slyly murmurs.
"Yeah. You don't have to like him to drag him into a broom closet," Morrigan says, just as slyly.
"Do you like him?" Rosalind wonders.
"Interesting word choice," Morrigan nods.
Thankfully, before Vivian can absolutely explode (hexes do seem to be on the horizon), Narcissa lets out an exasperated sigh and loudly proclaims, "We are not discussing this any longer! I refuse to be a part of this!"
If it was in Vivian's nature, she'd probably kneel at Narcissa's feet and thank her profusely for this. It's not, of course, so she just grumbles and angrily grabs her tea, which isn't quite as blissfully hot as it had been before. Whatever profuse thanks she might have said is muttered into the rim of the cup and promptly muffled into the long sip she takes –
And then promptly spit back up because, as chance would have it, she ends up lifting her eyes and her gaze clashes with his for the second time that morning. Sirius looks like he's trying to hold back a laugh as he watches her inelegantly slam her teacup back onto the table and reach for her napkin, also for the second time that morning. He raises his eyebrows at her and winks, crooked smile on full display.
"Vivian, you literally look like a tomato," Morrigan drawls.
"I think your face is hot enough to fry the tomato," Rosalind helpfully inputs.
"Are you blushing at my cousin?" Narcissa demands, sounding quite shocked (and slightly offended).
"What? Is she?" Rosalind gasps, angling her head to look over at the Gryffindor table.
"There's a nice, spacious broom closet on the fifth floor, if you want to make use of it," Morrigan dryly informs her with an evil smirk. "Get him out of your system, yeah?" she purrs, chin in hand and eyes flashing knowingly.
At this point, Vivian has had quite enough – of dormmates and Sirius Black. With a fierce glower, she throws her napkin into Rosalind's face (who, in her opinion, had started this whole mess and therefore deserves the punishment), and reaches over to grab her bookbag.
"I hate Sirius Black. He can take his crooked smiles and shove them up his womanizing arse," she exclaims – loudly enough for said womanizer to hear quite clearly.
Sirius raises his eyebrows even higher, looking annoyingly amused by her declaration as his friends snicker around him and a good majority of the student body turns to stare at her. She sends him a glare for good measure, as if she's daring him to break out into laughter. He doesn't, but it certainly looks like it takes a good deal of effort on his part. Fucking Gryffindor.
As she stomps away, Morrigan hums, "If she'd just jump his bones already, the itch wouldn't be this bad."
Rosalind shrugs. "Yeah, but Sirius Black never gets it on with Slytherin girls. It's never happened before."
Narcissa raises an eyebrow. "That's true…did you just make up that whole rumor to piss her off, then?"
Rosalind pauses, smirks, and innocently takes a bite of her breakfast without a word. Narcissa huffs. Morrigan snickers. But all three of them haven't accounted for one small detail:
Just because something has never happened before doesn't mean that it never will.
"Padfoot, give me your best 'crooked smile', love!" James girlishly sighs as the Marauders amble to their first class of the day.
Sirius rolls his eyes, but he can't stop the grin from overtaking his features nonetheless. He makes an effort to hold it back in hopes that James doesn't notice, but alas, nothing ever gets past Prongs, fabled and infamous Leader of the Marauders. (Or, at least, that's what he likes to claim when he's having a particularly lucky day.)
"Ooh, that smile. The charm! The crookedness! It's making my head spin. Isn't it making your head spin, Wormtail?" James loudly swoons, throwing his arms over Peter's shoulders.
Peter just sends him a weird look and says, "I don't understand why we're talking about Padfoot's smile."
Remus seems to be in agreement, at least in that he doesn't understand why his friends are making such a big deal about it.
James snickers and proclaims, "Because, Wormtail, Blair noticed the exact angle of Padfoot's smile, which means of course that – "
"You're taking this way too far," Remus finishes.
James shakes his head at him. "No, Moony. It means that Sirius properly smiled at her. None of the evil smirks he always sends Slytherins. No fake grins. No – "
"James. We need to talk."
All four Marauders stop walking and turn as one, all with varying expressions of shock. James, especially, looks like he might faint.
"Huh?" he splutters, eyes wide.
Lily puts her hands on her hips and sends him an impatient look. "I. Need. To. Talk. To. You."
Fainting does indeed look imminent. The others watch as James clears his throat and pushes back his hair (which flips right back into place). They are all quite confused as to why Lily Evans has willingly approached their friend, who she claims to hate with everything she has.
"Are you deaf?" she demands.
James sighs girlishly. This time, it's more genuine. "No," he smiles. "If I was, I wouldn't have heard you call me 'James'."
Lily doesn't look impressed, and just rolls her eyes as she jerks her head to the side of the corridor.
James clears his throat again and turns back to his friends. "Well, gentlemen, I'll meet you all in class. I've been asked to have a conversation with Lily, which means that I'll probably be held up for a while. Maybe a long time. Hopefully."
Lily, who is tapping her foot impatiently as James farewells his friends, snaps, "It'll take thirty seconds."
James pauses and nods, "Right. Thirty seconds."
She rolls her eyes again as he steps over to where she's standing, suavely waving off his friends with a rather posh flick of his wrist. It doesn't exactly do anything; the Marauders just stand there gaping at them with confused eyes until Lily sends them all annoyed looks that work infinitely better than James's ineffective hand wave. He looks inordinately impressed with her ability to dispel his friends.
"So Lilyflower, love of my life – you look gorgeous this morning, by the way – what can I do for you?" he prattles, leaning against the wall in what he probably thinks is a very charming manner.
Lily releases a very impatient breath as she stares at him, battling with the desire to cut right to the chase of why she wants to talk to him whilst simultaneously wanting to tell him off for calling her Lilyflower again, even though she's told him not to a million times. It shouldn't be all that surprising which one wins out.
"Okay look, Potter," she begins, and quickly holds up a hand when he opens his mouth. "I think we need to lay down some more ground rules."
Naturally, James looks quite skeptical of anything to do with rules, and furrows his brows in confusion.
"First, you're going to start calling me Lily. Not 'Lilyflower', and definitely not 'love of my life'," she firmly tells him, crossing her arms and sending him a hard look when he looks like he wants to argue this point. "Second," she says, before he can, "you're not allowed to compliment me for the duration of our agreement. At all."
"But – "
"Third," she grits out, "if I hear that you've been spreading rumors about us being together, I will end our deal faster than you can blink."
He looks aghast. "I would never – "
"Do you agree?" she cuts in, raising her eyebrow expectantly.
James frowns at her. He actually looks rather upset by her additional ground rules, which almost takes her aback – almost, because this is James Potter, after all, and he never gets upset.
"…Yeah sure. Deal," he mumbles, quite forlornly.
Lily looks triumphant. "Good. Now that that's out of the way, have a look at this." She hands him a folded-up piece of parchment. When James unfolds it and reads its contents, his forlorn expression fades into bewilderment.
'Evans,
Fine. But only because I know it'll make Potter cry.
Vivian'
He stares at the letter for a moment before spluttering, "Cry? Me?" He shakes the letter into her face and declares, "I'm way too manly to cry, Lilyflow – er, Lily. I can't believe Blair would say that – " When he sees the expression blazing over Lily's face, he promptly clears his throat and mumbles, "Right. So now that the first part of your plan worked, what's next?"
If James wasn't so incredibly fond of Lily's beautiful green eyes, he'd be slightly wary of the way they immediately narrow with mischief.
"Simple," she shrugs, taking her letter back and slipping it into her bag. "We get her to slip up and admit that she likes Sirius."
He raises an eyebrow at her. "We? I thought – "
"Yes, 'we'," she says firmly. "Everyone knows you're too annoyingly flirtatious to let someone like Vivian Blair get in the way of your feelings for me."
Now, James would never deny having feelings for Lily Evans. He's been fairly transparent about said feelings for years now. Everyone, included Lily herself, is aware that James Potter likes her. That said, it's a bit unnerving to hear her say it out loud like that, and he ends up flapping his mouth at her for lack of having anything concrete to say in response.
Lily rolls her eyes at him and sighs, "It's not that difficult to grasp, Potter. I'm proposing that we tag-team her. We keep the conversation on Sirius until she either tells us to shut up or she accidentally admits that she's head over heels for him."
He doesn't look entirely convinced that her idea is a good one. Being a Marauder of such caliber has given him plenty of experience with both the Slytherin mindset as well as how to properly plan for all possible outcomes in a given situation, and this particular situation seems shaky at best.
"I think you're forgetting something," he tells her. "When Blair inevitably gets annoyed with us – which she will – her first reaction won't be to tell us to shut up. This is a death trap."
Lily huffs at him and replies, "It's a dinner party. What's she gonna do, hex us?"
James sends her a look. She sighs.
"Fine, then come up with a back-up plan before Saturday," she tells him, and then adds, "We're both going to be late to class," before turning away and heading down the corridor. When he doesn't immediately follow, Lily glances over her shoulder with a raised eyebrow and prompts, "Are you coming or not?"
And James – poor, besotted James – grins at her wayward invitation and nearly prances (in a very manly way) to her side.
On the evening of Slughorn's dinner party, Vivian arrives in a set of tailored black dress robes with Narcissa at her side. Morrigan, who is usually invited to these affairs, had managed to get out of it on the claim that she had to take some sort of make-up quiz for one of her classes. Anyone who knows Morrigan Flint would realize that this is a complete and utter lie, and that she's probably exploring some unused classroom even now, as students gather in the small dining area attached to Slughorn's personal rooms.
His dinner parties are usually reserved for his brightest students; the ones he believes have the highest chance of becoming successful after graduation. Of course, he takes a certain biased approach to his selection, oftentimes picking students from his own house over those in other houses. For as long as Vivian has been attending these dinners, though, Lily Evans has been a constant attendee. Despite her being from a rival house, Slughorn practically fawns over her. Her top marks, Head Girl status, and winsome personality all work in her favor in this regard, though Vivian is sure that she doesn't enjoy the parties nearly as much as she outwardly appears, especially this time around.
The moment Vivian steps into the room, James Potter's voice immediately captures her attention. He's standing near Lily, loudly informing a befuddled Slughorn what he's planning on doing after Hogwarts. For once, he seems to have put some effort into his appearance, and is wearing a pair of ironed trousers and a button-down shirt. Vivian raises an eyebrow at the sight of him and nudges Narcissa with a smirk. Narcissa turns to see what Vivian is smirking at and smirks too.
"Evans looks like she wants to throw herself out of the window," Narcissa snickers.
"Can't blame her," Vivian responds, crossing her arms. She hears James loudly explain how becoming a Prankster Potioneer would be revolutionary to the Potions industry, and scoffs. "I'd want to off myself too, if someone that annoying kept coming onto me." Then she pauses, mind drifting just so to crooked smiles and flashing grey eyes, and she clears her throat. "Anyway let's go get a drink before Evans sees me and tries to use me to get Potter off her back."
Narcissa is in fact aware of Lily's wayward invitation. Vivian had ended up spilling the story to her when they were getting ready for the evening. Narcissa, who has never been overly fond of Potter, had found it both amusing as well as off-putting. Lily Evans might be one of Slughorn's beloved students, but she doesn't have much sway in Slytherin house as a whole. In that regard, her blood status works very much against her.
"I still can't believe you agreed to that," Narcissa drawls as they make their way to the drinks table.
As expected, there aren't many drink options. This isn't some crazy underage party with alcohol. Besides the iced water, there is only a large bowl of punch and a pitcher of pumpkin juice. Vivian avoids the punch (she doesn't trust the combination of a punch bowl and James Potter), and goes to fill up a glass of pumpkin juice instead.
"Yeah, well, I figured it might be amusing to annoy Potter with my presence," she shrugs, and doesn't offer any further explanation. That is, after all, the only reason she had agreed to Lily's random request. She might not think that Evans is as annoying as some of her Gryffindor counterparts, but she's still a Gryffindor. Besides, it's fun watching Potter stumble around trying to woo her – and even more fun to get in the way of his sad attempts at said wooing.
Narcissa hums dryly and pours herself a glass of pumpkin juice too. They both idle beside the table for a moment as they peruse the company that they will be stuck with for the next hour or two. There are students from all years and houses, but Slytherin house seems to take precedence as usual. They stand there and sip their drinks, both calculating who to avoid. It is as they are both conducting this mental practice that the strangest thing happens.
Narcissa, ever proper, suddenly says, "You know, Lucius isn't as good in bed as everyone thinks."
Vivian pauses and turns her head to stare at her in bewilderment, and Narcissa widens her eyes in surprise and brings a hand up to her mouth.
"I didn't mean to say that," she splutters.
Vivian's expression takes a turn into skeptic amusement. "Well if it makes you feel any better, I always figured he was all talk."
It doesn't seem to make Narcissa feel any better, because she blushes and casts a quick glance at where the man in question is standing across the way. The two of them both watch as Lucius elegantly pushes his mane of blonde hair over his shoulder and snickers at something a fellow Slytherin is saying.
"I've asked him to cut his hair a million times," Narcissa admits. "It's just so…so…"
"Girly?" Vivian helpfully supplies, finding it refreshingly easy to speak her mind. It's strange that they're talking about Narcissa's intended in such a way. Usually, Narcissa only has positive things to say about Lucius. In fact, she rarely ever lingers on the obvious negatives (well, obvious to Vivian at least), preferring to rain praises upon him instead.
Narcissa pauses at her friend's description for half a second before bursting into quiet giggles. "He says it make him feel powerful, but it's so annoying when we're having sex and his hair gets in my face – "
"Okay that's definitely more information than I ever wanted to have," Vivian cuts in with a grimace. She looks over at Narcissa's blushing countenance and mutters, "What's the matter with you, anyway? You never talk about Lucius like this." Then, raising an eyebrow higher, she wonders, "Are you having second thoughts about marrying him?"
With a start, Narcissa's eyes widen and she blurts, "No, of course not! I've been planning on marrying him since before we even came to Hogwarts! Everyone can see that we're perfect for each other."
Ah, now that's more like it. Vivian stares at her for a moment longer before accepting her words with a nod, deciding that all must be right in the world. Narcissa, though, isn't as sure.
"I really don't know why I said all that. It's so unlike me to talk about – about sex and – you won't tell him that I hate his hair, will you?" Narcissa pleads, to Vivian's immense surprise.
"Er…yeah, sure. I won't say a word," Vivian replies, not entirely sure what else to say. It seems to placate Narcissa, though, who breathes out a deep sigh of relief and takes another large sip of pumpkin juice. She watches her with a weird look on her face for a moment more, wondering what's gotten into her prim and proper friend tonight. She must be stressed out or something.
Before she can ask, though, Lily takes notice of her. Wonderful.
"Vivian, hi!" she greets, sidling up to them with a friendly smile on her face. She glances quickly at Narcissa, who turns to eye her with a decidedly unfriendly expression, and coughs, "Hello, Narcissa."
Narcissa's lip curls just so. She doesn't deign to respond, and just glances at Vivian as if she's once more questioning her sanity. With that, she turns away and waltzes off to where Lucius and his mane of blonde hair is standing.
Lily looks slightly uncomfortable after this and busies herself with pouring a glass of pumpkin juice, also apparently of the mind that 1 punch bowl + James Potter = disaster. As she does, she hedges, "So, erm, thanks for agreeing to keep Potter off my back tonight. I really appreciate – "
"Pumpkin juice?" the devil himself interrupts, suddenly appearing at Lily's side with a strange expression on his face. It's almost a mixture of exasperation and fear, and it grows slightly more encompassing when he reaches over to pluck Lily's glass from her hand before she can take a sip. As he sets it on the table, James declares, "You've been complaining of a stomach ache all day, Lily! I think water would be better, don't you? Here."
Lily looks rather baffled as James deposits a glass of water in her hands. Vivian looks rather baffled herself. Then again, though, this is James Potter, and everything he does is baffling.
"I haven't been complain – " Lily begins.
"So, Blair, fancy seeing you here. This is my first Slug Club party, you know. Exciting, right?" James swiftly cuts in, reaching up to fix his dress robes, which are of surprisingly good quality. The messy hair and slightly skewed glasses rather lessen the effect, though, as does the fact that his tie is knotted all wrong.
Vivian eyes him and grouses, "Oh, are you not going to count all the other Slug Club parties that you attended without an invitation?"
Memories of pranks and crashed parties flicker through her mind as James laughingly waves her words off and cheerfully says, "I've no idea what you're talking about."
Lily rolls her eyes. "You've crashed at least half of these parties with your friends, Potter. Though," she concedes, "out of all of you, Remus deserves to be invited. It's a shame he's not here tonight."
Vivian can grudgingly admit that Lily does have a point, sort of. If she had to choose one Marauder who actually has a right to attend a Slug Club dinner, it would have to be Remus Lupin. At least he applies himself to his studies, unlike his friends. That said, she wouldn't want anyone to think that she admires Remus in any way beyond that. His intelligence is obviously in question considering who said friends are, which is most likely why Slughorn has never extended him an invite to begin with.
Not that it's stopped any of them from attending anyway, as Lily has also pointed out. Crashing a Slug Club party seems to be one of their amusing past times. She can still recall the incident at the Christmas party just before break. They had really outdone themselves – and not in a good way, she thinks resolutely. Sure, it had been slightly entertaining to watch the chaos unfold, but she's still highly annoyed at the thought of being dragged down the hallway by Sirius Black. That prick.
She hates Sirius Black and his attractive smirks and his open laughter…
"Ah, speaking of my friends," James begins, "I think they might be jealous that I was officially invited to one of these things. Sirius was moping around all evening, trying to get me to smuggle him in."
At this, Vivian turns to stare at him with narrowed eyes, suddenly quite fearful that perhaps he'd succeeded. "Please tell me he's not here."
Lily looks equally wary. She had, after all, given James the go-ahead to come up with a Plan B, just in case their night doesn't go as planned. She dearly hopes that said backup plan hadn't involved yet another Marauder crashing session.
James just glances over at Vivian and smirks. "Why? Worried that dear old Padfoot will ruin your evening, Blair?" He sends Lily a look that Vivian doesn't see, because she's too busy pushing her chin up and scoffing.
"First of all, that nickname is literally the stupidest thing ever, and second, seeing as he loves ruining my life, yes, I am worried," Vivian declares, and takes a large sip of her pumpkin juice.
Now normally, James would jump to defend his best mate's sacred nickname, bestowed upon him by joint effort on the part of their dishonorable Marauder brothership. This time, however, he has more important things to think about than Sirius's official Marauder pseudonym. Pushing his glasses up, he shrugs, "I don't think his goal is to ruin your life, Blair." Then he nudges Lily to prompt her to agree (even though she most definitely doesn't).
"Right! He's clearly obsessed with you," she blurts, then sees James's cringing expression and hastily rectifies, "I mean that in a good way. Sort of like how an immature boy bullies the girl he likes because it's the only way he can get her attention – "
"What Lily is trying to say is that he thinks your fit," James nods.
Lily shoots him an annoyed look. "No. What I meant to say is that he likes her for reasons that go beyond physical beauty."
"Yeah, but being good looking is an important aspect of attraction," James argues.
"What you're suggesting is that Sirius only likes her because she's nice to look at," Lily argues back.
"I'm not saying that at all! I'm saying – wait, where'd she go?" James wonders, suddenly realizing that Vivian is no longer standing beside them. They both turn to see that she had crossed the room during their dispute, and is now standing with her fellow Slytherins near the hearth.
"Okay this isn't working," Lily growls.
James immediately responds with a breezy, "Relax, Lily, that was only our first attempt."
"She obviously doesn't want to talk about Sirius," she returns.
"That's only because she's so in love with him that she doesn't know what to say," he shrugs.
Lily turns to skewer him with an annoyed look. "No, that's not the reason. If she does like him, she obviously wouldn't want to admit it. She's spent her whole life hating him because he's always been a prat to her, so she won't just come out and admit that her whole perspective has changed just like that." She snaps her fingers into his face to prove her point.
James pushes her hand away and, hardly looking concerned, says, "I wouldn't be so sure. If she likes Sirius even a little bit, she'll admit it. Trust me."
Lily doesn't trust him at all, though, and his confident words only make her all the more suspicious. She narrows her eyes on him, but James is already expecting her reaction and merely says, "This is your plan, Lily. You got her to agree to hang out with you tonight so get going." He sends her an innocent smile and prods her towards where Vivian is now standing. "I'll just be over here, away from the Slytherins. Have fun!"
With that, he backs away, intent on making a quick escape. As he goes, he quickly adds, "Oh – also, I'd stick to water tonight, Evans."
The smile he sends her then in slightly less innocent, but Lily has no time to question what he's talking about – or, indeed, why she suddenly wonders why the mischievous smirk looks so appealingly daring upon his face.
Thankfully, they all sit down to dinner soon, and Lily is able to snag the chair next to Vivian before one of her Slytherin friends gets the chance. It isn't necessarily strange to see a Gryffindor and a Slytherin sitting next to each other at one of these parties. After all, Slughorn does invite people from other houses and there are only so many chairs. The boundaries between houses are inevitably going to be blurred. Just…usually not so much.
"Well this is nice," James smiles as he takes the chair on Vivian's other side, effectively blocking her in. He sends an unfriendly look at the Slytherin who had been about to take said chair before he'd swooped in and stole it, then glances around Vivian's figure to catch Lily's eye. "I'd rather sit next to you, of course, but – "
"Then by all means," Vivian growls, and abruptly stands up to trade seats with him.
James flaps his mouth a bit, not expecting her to call him out so directly, and hedges, "Oh…er…I mean I would, but…I'm closer to the gravy, see?" He blindly waves his hand at said gravy, which is currently sitting in front of his plate, and sends Vivian a cheerful smile.
She grits her teeth and repeats, "The gravy."
Luckily he is saved from having to explain his apparent love of gravy by Slughorn himself, who calls everyone to attention with a pleasant, "Let's all sit down, there we go…now Whitlock, you were telling me about your father's position at the Ministry…"
Vivian, suddenly realizing that she's the only one standing, collapses back into her chair and sends James a glowering look. Narcissa catches her eye across the table, raising an eyebrow at her predicament, but Vivian is too annoyed to do anything but angrily reach for the mashed potatoes. She fills her plate with a vengeful energy, trying to ignore the fact that she's got two Gryffindors sitting on either side of her.
"So are you ready for the Gryffindor-Slytherin match, Blair? I hope you're prepared to be crushed," James gleefully says, and grabs the bowl of mashed potatoes from her before she's done with them.
She glares at him and, as she reaches for the bowl of vegetables, sneers, "The Slytherin-Gryffindor match? Of course I'm ready. We've been practicing nearly nonstop all month."
Well that's sort of a lie, actually, considering Vivian's nightly detentions. Avery's had to reschedule most of their after-dinner practices on the account of her not being able to attend them. The last week has been full of intense early morning exercises and drills, which certainly hasn't made her life any easier. What with the match coming up in just a few days, though, she hadn't had much of a say in the matter.
The usual rivalry that takes place between Slytherin and Gryffindor before a Quidditch match has been even worse than normal, because of the fact that Gryffindor's team has also had to change up their practice schedule due to Sirius's nightly detentions. There's been many mornings in which both teams thought they had scheduled the pitch and many arguments have sprouted up as a result.
James, who happens to be the Captain of Gryffindor's Quidditch team in addition to Head Boy (honestly, Dumbledore's clearly off his rocker), puffs out his chest and declares, "So have we. Just wait, you'll be shocked to see some of the new plays I've come up with." Then he grabs the bowl of vegetables from Vivian's hands – before she's done – and scoops some onto his plate.
Vivian clenches her jaw and angrily reaches for the plate of roast beef. Fucking prat.
"Sirius has also come up with some really good ideas," James adds. He glances around Vivian's form to wonder, "Vegetables, Lily?"
Lily shoots him a look from behind Vivian's head, as if she's silently asking him what the hell he's doing. It happens to be a look that James is very familiar with. He just winks at her.
"In fact," he continues, turning his attention back to Vivian, "I think my Beaters might give you a run for your money this time around, Blair. Just the other day when Sirius was coming out of the shower, he had this great idea about – well I guess I can't divulge team secrets, can I? – anyway he gets his best ideas in the shower."
He reaches for the plate of roast beef. Vivian, though, is prepared this time and shoves it at him before he's got a proper grip on it. The resulting splash of marinade on his poorly knotted tie is enough to draw much of the table's attention, which Vivian considers a victory.
"Careful there, Potter! No need to get so excited, there's plenty to go around," Slughorn calls in his usual mellow voice, before turning back to Whitlock to continue his conversation.
James sends Vivian a sullen look before his eyes catch onto Lily's, who is leaning back in her chair and mouthing something at him.
'The shower?' she's silently demanding, looking unimpressed with his line of thought. He shrugs at her and mouths back, 'It's sexy!' Needless to say, she doesn't look like she agrees.
Vivian doesn't either, of course. Obviously, the thought of Sirius Black in the shower isn't a thought she wants to linger on. As if she needs to have that disgusting mental image in her head - dripping black hair messily strewn into his eyes, gloriously bare skin and – right, definitely not.
"Speaking of Sirius," Lily primly takes over, shooting James another glowering look, "I think he fancies someone. He wouldn't tell me who, though."
"Well of course he wouldn't," James laughs. "A bloke doesn't just admit something like that."
Vivian spears a bite of roast beef and chews in adamant silence, trying to ignore them both as she shoves down mental images of Sirius in the shower. On her other side, Lily leans forward to send James a stern look.
"Why not? Is it not manly enough to be honest with your feelings or something?" she demands.
James splutters for half a second before returning, "It's just that – what if the girl in question doesn't like you back? I mean, no bloke in his right mind would talk about his feelings unless he was absolutely sure that they were returned."
Lily snorts. "Oh right, so instead, the bloke just annoys the girl he likes until he wears her down, is that it?"
"That's not what I'm saying at all – "
"Would you both shut up? I'm trying to eat," Vivian complains, thoroughly unimpressed with their constant arguments. Honestly, if she didn't know any better, she'd say they were seconds away from jumping each other what with all this pent-up energy. It's exhausting to watch.
Her grousing comment works though. The two of them abruptly fall silent, turning back to their meals with petulant expressions, as if they've been scolded by their mothers or something. Gryffindors.
"Ah, so Potter, this is your first time attending one of my dinners, isn't it? How are you liking the meal?" Slughorn suddenly asks from across the table. As James lifts his head and responds to Slughorn, Vivian leans back in her chair and grabs her pumpkin juice, slinging back its contents. James watches her from the corner of his eye and presses down a smirk as he spins some bullshit about how honored he is to be here tonight and how much he respects Slughorn and his incredible taste. Slughorn, naturally, looks quite pleased with being on the receiving end of his compliments.
"I've always thought that Gryffindors were an excellent bunch, really," Slughorn is saying. "Sometimes I wish I was Head of Gryffindor house instead, to be honest!" Every Slytherin in the room turns to stare at him. Slughorn seems rather surprised at himself for having said that, and splutters, "I mean…I'm not entirely sure why I…anyway, erm, Mr. Malfoy, I hear you're looking to follow in your father's footsteps at the Ministry as well!"
Vivian raises an eyebrow and shoots Narcissa a look from across the table. She shrugs in return as her betrothed sits up straighter and begins to explain his future career path. After a few minutes of continuous boasting, even Slughorn looks a bit bored.
" – And then once we graduate, Narcissa and I will be married. I'm quite lucky, you know. There aren't a lot of people who can handle some of my more peculiar desires," Lucius says, then abruptly stops talking and blinks in surprise. The whole table turns to blink at him as well, including a very bewildered Slughorn and a very amused James.
"What are these peculiar desires, Malfoy?" James drawls, resting his chin on his hand.
Lucius seems quite disgusted that James Potter has just spoken to him directly. He clamps his mouth shut tightly, lips drawn into a firm line as he glares over at Potter with narrowed eyes. Vivian stares at his reddening face with as much bafflement as everyone else, wondering why it looks like he's struggling to not blurt out more information about said desires. It almost seems as if he has no control of his words.
Before he can further sully the dinner conversation with said information, though, Slughorn clears his throat and proclaims, "Well, I think it's about time we clear our plates and dig into dessert!" He looks quite ruffled at Lucius's random topic change and seems very much ready to pretend it had never happened at all. To be fair, so are the rest of them – except James himself, who looks a bit upset that Lucius hadn't completely embarrassed himself to the point of no return.
With a sigh, James leans back and grumbles, "Shame…" as their dinner plates and whisked away by several house-elves. Vivian firmly ignores him, as usual, and instead listens in on several other conversations being had nearby. Now that she's taking notice of it, she finds that it's rather odd how people are so relaxed this evening. Words fly from their mouths without filter; admissions are brought to light that would not normally be so easily confessed. For example, just three chairs down, Jenna is saying something about how she often pays people to do her assignments for her, and seems to accidentally admit that she thinks Professor Anderson is fit. Everyone seems to be freer with their words than usual, including Slughorn himself, who is even now saying something about how he'd only invited some of his old students to his Slug Club gatherings because he knew they would be able to get him free tickets to Quidditch matches and the like.
Before Vivian can linger on this strange realization, though, dessert is being served and fresh glasses of their chosen drinks are being administered. At her side, James takes a bite of the sugary confections on their plates and sighs, "Not nearly as good as my mum's, don't you agree, Blair?"
Vivian immediately clenches her fingers around her fork and spears him with a glare, but the damage has already been done. Well, sort of. Thankfully – or not – Lily had been the only person to take notice of James's words, because everyone else is engaging in other conversations. Since the majority of students here are in Slytherin house, it's only natural that they would completely ignore the stray Gryffindors on account of pride.
"Shut up, Potter," Vivian mutters, half tempted to take his stupid dessert and shove it into his face.
James just sniffs and drawls, "I'm still upset that you never thanked my mum for that night, to be honest. It was awfully rude of you to just leave like you did. Sirius was beside himself the whole day, worrying about you."
Throughout his little speech, Vivian's mouth opens to snap at him once more. However, mention of Sirius's apparent concern surprises her enough to quell the words that want to fly free, and she just turns and stares at him without saying a word. Lily, however, has plenty to say.
"You stayed at Potter's house?" she whispers, cognizant at least to keep her voice down. They aren't exactly in good company to speak about these sorts of things.
James leans forward to look at Lily and whispers back, "She stayed in Sirius's bedroom, Lily. By the way, Blair, how did you feel about that? Did it bring up any particular emotions? Thoughts? Urges?"
Vivian's eyebrow twitches of its own accord. "I have the urge to shove your face into the chocolate cake."
James has the decency to at least know when she's being deathly serious, and this is most certainly one of those times.
"Right," he clears his throat. "Just wondering."
Dessert is blissfully silent after that, though Lily keeps shooting her strange looks throughout, as if she's trying to work out what had caused Vivian to end up at James Potter's house, of all places. Unfortunately for her, Vivian has no intention of telling her the reasons – but she wouldn't put it past Potter to spill everything to her. As long as it doesn't get around the school, though, Vivian can't claim that she cares all that much. That said, she does keep thinking about James's words about Sirius being worried. She can't stop remembering how he had approached her on the train back to Hogwarts and asked her if she was alright. The smallest twinge of regret overtakes her as she thinks about how she had snapped at him and told him to get away from her. She tries her best to wrangle it down.
It's hard though, because even though she's quite sure that she hates Sirius Black and his stupid smiles and annoyingly adorable penchant for gushing about muggle rock bands, there's still a part of her that –
No. There's not. She hates him. It's an immutable fact of life.
"Okay Blair, look, I'm just going to come out and ask it," James suddenly says as the dessert is being cleared away and people are getting up from the table. He pushes his glasses higher up the bridge of his nose and takes a deep breath. As far as he's concerned, the dinner hadn't gone as planned at all. This is his last chance to salvage it before everyone leaves. He opens his mouth to ask her, plain and simple, if she fancies his best mate. The words are just beginning to leave his mouth when, across the way, a most unexpected distraction comes to light in the form of one Lucius Malfoy.
"For the last time, Narcissa, I'm not going to cut my hair. It makes me feel chic and trendy," Lucius blurts out, seemingly in response to something his betrothed had just said.
James's question is completely forgotten as everyone turns to stare at him, watching his expression fade from snappish frustration to intense embarrassment. There's something rather odd about seeing his porcelain skin turn redder than a tomato.
Now, just so everyone is on the same page, here's the thing about Slytherins: yes, they are loyal to their own. Yes, they view Lucius as the epitome of good breeding and idealistic elitisms. Yes, a good portion of Slytherin house wishes they could be as powerful and as accomplished as him. However, with all of that said, it takes about three seconds for the entire room (minus one befuddled Slughorn) to collapse into laughter at his expense. Regardless of their appreciation for Lucius Malfoy, a true and proper Slytherin would never let what he has just said be swept under the rug that easily.
"Chic and trendy?" Avery snorts, snickering loudly. He slaps Lucius on the back as if he's thanking him for the laugh, and guffaws, "I'm never gonna forget this."
Indeed, the other Slytherins in the room are in perfect agreement. The few Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff students in attendance seem too afraid to laugh at someone like Lucius Malfoy, but James has no such qualms. His laughter is the loudest, and in the wake of it, he's completely forgotten what he had been about to ask Vivian.
All in all, and despite the fact that his plan hadn't exactly gone as he'd hoped, James Potter considers tonight to be a success. Until, of course, it all backfires on him.
He hadn't told Lily his backup plan because she would probably kill him if she knew about it (it does sort of verge on the illegal, after all). So when she blindly reaches over to grasp Vivian's goblet of pumpkin juice, thinking that it's her water, he nearly trips over himself to stop her. But alas, it's too late.
Vivian is quite confused when Lily turns to a suddenly panicked James, twists her expression into one of bewilderment, and blurts, "You're actually pretty fit, James."
The moment these words are said, Lily's bewilderment takes a sharp turn into shocked disorientation. Vivian turns to gape at her. James's eyes widen into saucers, hand pausing in midair to snatch the goblet away from her.
"Really?" James asks, as if he can't quite believe it.
Lily can't either. She struggles for a long moment, appearing to battle with her words, before Vivian raises an eyebrow and elegantly plucks the goblet from her hands. She glances down into it with a curious expression, then back up into Lily's face, and drawls, "Well Potter, it looks like someone actually can stand to be around you. Shocking."
Her words seem to snap James out of his awed stupor. He turns to stare at Vivian and opens his mouth to interrogate her one last time, but before he can –
Lily grabs a fistful of James's shirt and drags him off, voice descending into a hissed, "You didn't spike the pumpkin juice with Veritaserum. Tell me you didn't."
James flaps his mouth at her.
"That's illegal," Lily snaps.
"Yeah, but – "
"Vivian would murder you if she found out you were trying to get her to confess under these kinds of circumstances."
"Right, but you – "
"If this is your Plan B, I hate to think what else you have in mind for our stupid deal."
" – think I'm fit," James grins.
Lily abruptly stops talking. Her face, already reddened from anger, becomes even more red as embarrassment floods over it. James takes one look at said embarrassment and clears his throat, feeling suddenly guilty.
"You weren't supposed to drink it," he mumbles, shuffling his feet. "Besides, it's a diluted form…just loosens the tongue a bit…"
Lily opens her mouth to tell him off, then seems to decide against it and just growls, "We'll discuss this later, after it's worn off." Then she sends him a truly terrifying glare and stomps out of the room without another word.
James watches forlornly as she disappears. He doesn't even notice Vivian sidling up to him, because he's too busy mourning his failed plan and the way it had utterly backfired on him.
"You must be the most hopeless idiot on the planet," Vivian says breezily as she walks past him, and takes her leave, too, thankfully none the wiser.
James just groans and hangs his head.
The Gryffindor common room is just as cheerful as ever when James drags himself into it some fifteen minutes later. There's still an hour or so before curfew, and the room is full of the usual buoyant voices of fellow students as they work on assignments and talk amongst themselves. James catches sight of Remus sitting in front of the fire, but he isn't much in the mood for conversation. Sure, hearing Lucius Malfoy talk about his chic and trendy hairstyle had been extremely amusing, but his mirth had been dialed down some by Lily's realization and ultimate anger at his underhanded use of Veritaserum. Instead of going over to join Remus, James just grouchily heads up the stairs of the boy's dormitories.
Peter and Sirius are in the dorm already. They had apparently decided to make a trip to the kitchens in James's absence, for their side of the room is currently strewn with late-night snacks. Pumpkin pasties wrappers, half-eaten fudge, and what looks likes like a near empty box of jelly slugs litter the floor near Sirius's bed. The two of them are passing a bag of Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans between them, purposefully choosing the worst looking jelly beans and trying to one-up each other with their disgust. It's a relatively normal sight, except of course for James's abnormal mood as he joins the scene.
They glance up at him as he enters the room and makes a beeline for his bed, flopping face-first onto the mattress with a muffled groan. Peter raises a clueless eyebrow at Sirius, who shrugs just as cluelessly.
"Rough night?" Sirius drawls, half-tempted to toss a puce colored bean at James's head. He refrains, though, because it looks particularly foul and therefore may just secure his victory in Peter's proposed game of 'Who Can Eat the Worst Jelly Bean'. With a hum, he pops it in his mouth instead and immediately grimaces. "Hmm…vomit after a night of firewhiskey," he says matter-of-factly. Peter makes a face.
James rolls over and bemoans, "Lily hates me."
His friends don't appear very sympathetic. In fact, to claim that they are surprised to hear such a declaration would be a stretch, because Lily Evans has hated James Potter for ages now. It's one of those immutable facts of life.
"Yup," Sirius agrees.
"That sounds pretty normal," Peter inputs.
James groans again. "No, you don't get it. I think she might actually kill me. I reckon we should lock the door tonight just in case she comes in here to murder me in my sleep."
Peter and Sirius exchange dry expressions.
"Right. What did you do this time?" Sirius wonders, tossing Peter a red bean.
Peter catches it in his mouth, chews, and around a sudden influx of watery eyes, chokes out, "Paprika."
Sirius gives him a cringing look in response.
James laments, "I only snuck into Slughorn's storeroom to nab some Veritaserum. I don't know why she's so upset."
Peter, waving a hand in front of his face as he recovers from the taste of paprika, repeats, "Veritaserum? That's illegal."
Sirius makes a sound of agreement as he searches for the most disgusting looking bean he can find, and adds, "Yeah, I can't believe you did something illegal without me. How rude."
James mutters, "Anyway, so what if I spiked the drinks? I told her to stick to the water."
Sirius pops a black bean into his mouth and hums, "Soy sauce. I was expecting something way worse."
Peter shrugs, "Sometimes they can be deceiving."
"Too true, Wormtail," Sirius agrees.
"I should be happy since she said she thought I was fit, you know?" James sighs. "Maybe it would've worked out if I'd been able to get Blair to admit she likes you, Padfoot, but that – "
"Wait, what?" Sirius interrupts, turning around to stare at his friend with a confused expression. "Okay hold on. Are you saying that you stole Veritaserum in order to interrogate Vivian?" There's an odd tone to his voice. It's almost protective, but also slightly curious, as if he's dying to know what had happened. His game with Peter is put on hold as he waits for James to continue complaining about his night.
James shrugs and mutters, "Well yeah, obviously. As your best mate, it's my responsibility to ensure that she's good for you."
Sirius opens his mouth, then closes it. He seems both impressed with James's loyalty and frustrated at his solo scheme. "Well what happened?" he demands after a moment spent struggling with these opposing emotions. He stares at James with a raised eyebrow as Peter continues munching on Bertie Botts beans.
James mumbles, "Well Lily and I decided to team up, but – "
"You just ended up arguing with each other instead," Sirius finishes knowingly.
James spears him with a look, but ultimately just mutters, "…Yeah."
Sirius shakes his head at Peter, who rolls his eyes and says, "So you basically wasted the Veritaserum."
James starts nodding, but then stops and smirks. He pulls himself to the edge of his bed and snickers, "Well it wasn't a total waste, Wormtail. I got Malfoy to spew something about how he thinks his hair is – how'd he phrase it? – chic and trendy."
Peter immediately bursts out into matching snickers. Sirius smirks widely as well and shrugs, "Well then, your efforts tonight weren't completely useless, Prongs. I'm sure Lily will forgive you eventually."
The reminder of Lily's anger makes James's laugher transform into yet another mournful groan. He rolls away from the edge of his mattress to bury his face into his pillow and mumble, "If she had only stuck to the water…"
In the midst of his mumbled regrets, the door opens and Remus steps into the room. He takes one look at James and rolls his eyes. "Lily just stormed her way through the common room cursing your name, James. You might want to avoid her for a while."
James lets out another muffled groan as Remus casts a dubious glance at Sirius and Peter, no doubt wondering what he'd missed. After a moment, though, he seems to decide that he probably doesn't want to know, and just shakes his head as he gathers some things for a shower.
"I told you that attending that Slug Club dinner was a bad idea," Sirius says after Remus has shut himself into the bathroom. He watches as James blindly reaches over to his side table, where the map is currently sitting, and adds, "Nothing good ever comes from cozying up to professors."
Peter nods in agreement. "Yeah, and there are too many Slytherins at those things anyway."
"It's a bad idea all around," Sirius declares, and turns back to the Bertie Botts to continue the game. "Hey Pete, this one looks like it might be pretty – "
"Speaking of Slytherins, why is Blair lurking around the third floor?" James suddenly wonders, catching sight of her name as he's flipping through the map in his search of one Lily Evans. His sudden question makes everyone pause.
"Huh? There's nothing on the third floor," Sirius says, getting up to look at the map.
Peter scurries after him. "Well, besides the passageway to the Forbidden Forest," he says, settling on James's bed to look over Sirius's shoulder.
"Right, but she's nowhere near Pollock the Persevering. She's in some random classroom," James says, pointing her out. His thoughts of Lily lessen as he wonders what Blair could possibly be doing. There's no reason to go to the third floor. It's all empty corridors and cobwebs. The only time the Marauders ever bother venturing into it is when they need to take the secret passageway, which they don't use all that often because it leads relatively deep into the Forest.
"Maybe she's meeting someone for a snog," Peter suggests, and then promptly clears his throat at the look Sirius shoots him. "What? Why else would she be there?" he defends.
Sirius scoffs and adamantly says, "There's got to be another reason."
But the more he thinks about it, the less certain he is. After all, why else would she be in that part of the castle, right after Slughorn's dinner party? Maybe she is meeting someone.
Brows furrowed, he mutters, "Give me that," and grabs the map from James's hands.
"Oi, I was looking for Lily," James complains as Sirius makes his way over to his own bed.
Sirius rolls his eyes and says, "She's probably stewing in her room, thinking of ways to murder you for dosing her with Veritaserum."
James groans and turns to once again face-plant into his pillow. His voice is pathetically muffled when he bemoans, "It was an accident."
"…You dosed Lily with Veritaserum?" comes Remus's voice from the bathroom doorway. He runs a towel through his hair and sends James a look. "No wonder she was cursing at you."
James doesn't deign to respond, and Remus just sighs and gets into bed before drawing his curtains closed, evidently having had enough Marauder drama for one day. Sirius, though, has not. He's determined to find out who Vivian is meeting, and what makes someone else better than him, and he ends up sitting in bed with the map late into the night, battling with the desire to go to the third floor himself and risk the potential wrath of an angry Vivian Blair…
As for the ramifications of these thoughts, they don't come until he watches Vivian begin to make her way back to the Slytherin common room several hours after curfew, having met no one and having only paced through the empty classroom without venturing any further into the third floor. And it's only as he's closing the map that he realizes something:
The thought of Vivian being with someone else upsets him. He wouldn't claim, after everything he's done to her over the years, that he deserves her. But in that moment, he realizes that he wants to deserve her.
He watches her enter the Slytherin commons with a contemplative expression, and stares at her name for a while longer before murmuring, "Mischief managed," and turning out the light. But he can't easily turn out the thoughts that shift through his mind, as he wonders how his perspective of Vivian Blair could have changed so much in such a short amount of time.
Deep inside, he knows the reason for this, but – love is a perilous thing, and Gryffindors aren't brave all of the time.