After a while, Hope stepped back and determinedly wiped a hand across her face to dry her tears.

"This is actually a good thing, right? I mean, it's what I've worked so hard for," she sniffled, the look in her eyes as she desperately tried to find a silver lining, almost breaking his heart.

"It is, love," he replied quietly, his voice rough with emotion.

"Then why does it feel like the end of the world to me?"

She fell back into his arms, as the tears started to flow again, and he suddenly felt so terribly helpless. How was he supposed to not lose heart, when even Hope struggled to stay positive? He realised only now, quite how much he'd come to rely on her optimism. To see her so hopeless, was almost too much for him to bear.

They just stood there for the longest time, clinging to each other for comfort, and he desperately tried to keep it together for her sake. He could, and certainly would, break down when she was gone, but until then, he needed to be strong for her. She was starting on a new and important chapter in her life tomorrow and needed to fully focus on that.

More than that. By rights, she should be in high spirits now, celebrating her success and looking forward to working on her project again. That's what he should be telling her. That, and how much he loved her, no matter what. Suddenly, it struck him that he'd told her in so many ways already, but never in those exact three words.

"I love you!"

The words burst out of him, almost at the same time as he heard her say them, too.

Hope pulled back, and they stared at each other for a long moment, before she started to giggle.

"Look at the pair of us!" she chuckled through her tears. "Did it really take this for us to finally say it out loud?"

It was so good to see a glimpse of her inherent cheerfulness again, even if it was really more like gallows humour.

"That's because those words mean something to us," he murmured softly, resting his forehead against hers. "We don't say them lightly."

"No, we don't," she agreed, then fell silent again, and he felt her hands gently running up and down his back as she pressed against him, desperate to feel him, almost as if to assure herself that he was still there.

"Talk to me, Jenny," McCoy urged, knowing that he needed to help her cope, and they were running out of time. "Don't go all quiet on me, please."

"I just can't imagine you not being there anymore," she whispered after a while, raising tearful eyes to his. "Leonard, I'm scared."

That did it. He couldn't suppress the sob that made its way up his throat. And before she could see the tears streaming down his face, he hugged her so tight, he nearly crushed her. He could deal with almost anything, but not being there for her when she was scared was an unbearable thought.

-x-x-x-x-x-

Jenny clung to him, overcome with a vague and indefinable fear that had suddenly taken hold of her. Too late she realised what she'd just done. Of all the things she could have said, she'd probably just said the cruellest. Even with her mind roiling, she should have thought before speaking. She knew how strongly he felt about protecting her. That his greatest need was to keep her safe, his greatest fear to leave her in the lurch when she needed him most.

She had to fix this. It was okay for him to know how heartbroken she was. How terribly she was going to miss him. But she needed him to know that she'd be all right. That he didn't have to worry about her.

The thought gave her strength, and she straightened up again, disentangling herself a little from his embrace.

"I'm scared of what will become of you, when I'm not there to take care of you, Leonard," she smiled, reaching up to touch his cheeks and gently wipe away his tears. "Who's going to cheer you up and rub your headaches away? Please, promise me, you'll take care of yourself!"

McCoy nodded, smiling too, his eyes shining with love.

"I'll promise, if you do!"

"Of course, Leonard," she said, covering his still wet cheeks with little kisses. "I'll be fine. I'll just make the most of my time on the Lexington. It's only six months, anyway. And by then, I'm sure, Captain Kirk will have figured something out."

"Yes," the doctor agreed, seeming to draw strength from her words, "if Jim wants something, he usually gets it. Maybe it won't be long before we see each other again."

Jenny was relieved to see him more composed again. Usually, McCoy was her rock, and watching him fall to pieces right in front of her had torn her apart.

"We still have a little time," she smiled. "Can we go for a walk?"

"Yes, let's!" the doctor answered, taking her hand. "It'll help us calm down and clear our minds."

-x-x-x-x-x-

McCoy was grateful for the idea. And for the emotional strength she'd just demonstrated. He really needed to get his act together again. He was supposed to make this easier on her, not harder. Right now, he had to be there for her, not the other way round.

Without thinking about where they were going, they headed towards the shops and restaurants.

"It's strange," Hope said, "we've talked so much, and yet, I feel like there's still so much left I'd like to know and tell you before I leave."

"I know exactly what you mean," McCoy looked deeply into her eyes. "But it's not like one of us is dying, love. We'll still have plenty of opportunity to talk. There's always subspace communication, and I'll be expecting regular updates from you, young lady!"

He wagged a warning finger at her, then stopped to take her in his arms again, and softly added, "I'll still be there for you, love. Always."

-x-x-x-x-x-

Jenny smiled gratefully up at him and kissed him tenderly. There was no sweeter man. Then she wrapped her arm around his waist, and pulled him further along. After a few more minutes of walking in silence, they found themselves in front of the jeweller's shop.

When she looked into the shop window, she found the ring gone and couldn't help but gasp in shock, the fragile equilibrium she'd only just regained instantly upset again. She felt as if everything that meant something to her was somehow slipping away from her.

Nestling closer into the doctor's arm, she quickly asked him to take her back to the beach, before her tears started falling again. It wasn't fair, she was really trying hard here. Maybe he hadn't noticed?

Poppycock! Of course, he had!

"Jenny," he said softly, trying to pull away a little, probably to make her look at him, but she didn't want him to see her crying again.

So she just kept on walking, and felt him draw her closer again, sighing softly as he silently took her back to the beach. His hands were constantly caressing her now, wrapping her in his endless love, and his tenderness, as always, got to her most.

Back at the beach, she slumped down in the sand and covered her face with her hands.

"Jenny," she heard McCoy begin again, as he gently tried to prise her hands off her face.

"I'm sorry, Leonard," she ground out between sobs, "I know it's silly, but to see the ring gone was just the last straw."

"Jenny," he tried for the third time, and she could hear the urgency in his voice. "Please, look at me!"

When she looked up, she saw him squatting right in front of her, holding out a little box to her.

"It's not gone, love," he smiled warmly, opening the box, "I only had it delivered to the hotel."

Jenny just looked at him, speechless.

"It's not how I planned this," he chuckled, his eyes as soft as she'd ever seen them. "In fact, I hadn't planned on doing this so soon at all, but sometimes you just have to play it by ear, right?"

He gently took her hand, placed the box in her palm and closed her fingers around it.

"You said you associate only special people with this ring, and I hope I'm special enough to give it to you. Whenever you need me, and I can't be there, the ring will remind you that I'm thinking of you. Every moment of every day. I love you so much, Jenny."

Hardly able to get out the words to thank him, she burst into yet more tears. And wrapping her arms tightly around his neck, she kissed him as if there was no tomorrow.

-x-x-x-x-x-

McCoy was overwhelmed by the sheer amount of his emotions, ranging from exhilaration to despair. The psychologist in him, of course, knew that the feeling of being in love was usually at an all-time high after spending the first night together. Combined with the pain of separation, it was the perfect recipe for emotional overload. But all the scientific knowledge in the world wasn't helping, when you were right in the eye of an emotional hurricane.

"I love you too, Leonard! More than you'll ever know."

The words went straight to his heart, and as Hope disengaged from their embrace and reached for his hand, he let himself be pulled to his feet.

"Dance with me, Leonard," she smiled, holding out her arms.

And when she started to hum 'It's Your Love', their song, the first one they'd sung together in sickbay, and later again in the cave on Paradise Earth, he softly joined in and gently swept her into his arms for a last dance.

Holding her like this, swaying to the sound of their own voices, here on the beach where they'd been so unbelievably happy, he knew with absolute certainty that he'd never again love anyone else.

-x-x-x-x-x-

After their dance on the beach, they spent the rest of the evening sitting in the sand, holding each other tight, kissing and assuring each other that they would be all right. They agreed not to dwell on their misery any longer, but to enjoy these last precious moments, remembering all the wonderful things they'd shared already.

"Thank you for an incredible shore leave, Leonard," Jenny said, almost drowning in his tender eyes.

McCoy smiled at her, gently touching her cheek and slightly shaking his head.

"Thank you for a wonderful year, sweetheart," he murmured, before pulling her in for another breathtaking kiss, her heart melting at his words.

She appreciated how positive he tried to be. For her. Because she knew him well. If it wasn't for her, he'd be devastated by now, ranting and raving continuously. Instead, he tried to convince them both that they would sort this out, and even told her that love would always find a way.

When it was time, he helped her pack in her room, and then accompanied her to Starfleet HQ. She made him memorise several messages to deliver to her friends on the Enterprise, while he repeatedly made her promise to eat enough and generally take good care of herself. Determined to come with her all the way to the transporter platforms, he uncharacteristically made use of his well-known name, and, being the Dr. McCoy, really managed to wheedle his way in.

They kissed and held each other until the very last moment, and she was immensely touched when, even as she was standing on the platform, he still managed to put his fears and worries aside, and, telling her how proud he was of her, reminded her to enjoy her time aboard the Lexington and to make the most of the experience.

The last thing she saw, as everything around her dissolved into tingling sparkles, was the bravely smiling face of the man she loved more than life. And suddenly, she found that part of her was even looking forward to her exciting first assignment as Ensign Hope.

-x-x-x-x-x-

As soon as she was gone, McCoy headed back to the hotel. Never before had he felt so lonely. It was as if his life had lost its purpose. He knew and appreciated that Jim was there, ready to join him for a drunken night at the bar and listen to him pouring his heart out. But he needed to be alone now.

His divorce had probably been as bad, possibly even worse, but by now, it was no more than a blur in his memory. And there was a big difference. He'd had lots of fights with his ex-wife. Ugly scenes. The end of his marriage had been hell. Nasty and dirty. But Hope hadn't wanted to part with him. She even needed him. And leaving someone who he felt responsible for, who needed and relied on him, was a new experience for him.

From an objective point of view, he ought to be happy. On top of the world, really. He was in love with the most wonderful woman in the universe, and she'd just told him that she loved him, too.

They'd spent the most amazing shore leave together. No, strike that. They'd spent the most amazing year of his life together. And less then 24 hours ago, they'd spent the most incredible, fulfilling night together. He and this woman who he'd been crazy about since he'd first laid eyes on her, almost a year ago. She wanted him. Wanted to be with him. As his partner. Loved him exactly as he was. Unconditionally.

And he ought to be happy for her, too. Because her greatest dream had just come true. Starfleet had cleared her for starship duty. Her career was taking off. She was being rewarded for all the hard work she'd put in.

So why was he feeling as if his world had just been shattered? Why was he hurting so much, he could hardly get his feet to walk back to the hotel? Why was he feeling lonelier than he'd ever felt before? It wasn't as if Hope had left him. She wanted to be with him just as much as he wanted to be with her. Their separation was only temporary. They'd find a way to be together. He had to believe that.

He missed her like crazy already, was he being selfish? Maybe. But most of all, he was terribly worried about her. She was on her own now. All alone among strangers. Again. Would she cope? Of course, she would. She was a fighter. And she'd make new friends in no time, he was sure of that. But the thought of not being there for her when she needed him, was intolerable. That was probably the worst part of it all, he realised glumly.

Opening himself up to love and making himself vulnerable like this again, had been a mistake. He should have known better. Love always came with pain. Especially to him. Not even a day into their relationship, and already it had caused so much hurt.

And yet, he couldn't have acted differently. Couldn't have resisted Hope any longer. His trust in her sincere love for him was still unwavering, he knew she'd never want to hurt or leave him. But then, it hadn't been her choice to make, had it? And to know that she was hurting just as much right now, made his own pain even more unbearable.

By the time he walked into the hotel again, almost crushed by having to go up to his room without her now, he felt as if he'd failed her. Failed yet again in a relationship. Tears sprang to his eyes at the thought, and he let them run down his cheeks unashamedly.