The tea remained untouched, as Kairi stared at her folded hands in her lap. Her father hadn't said a word since she had retold the events that had occurred the night before. For a moment, she allowed herself to pretend. They hung onto each other the rest of the night, playing games and laughing. She told her friends that she and Shoto were going to go off alone and she would give them the details later. She had yet to text anyone what occurred between them. Her defenses broke and her weakness won out. She allowed herself this moment of happiness, beyond the veil of reality. He took her home, pressing another kiss to her lips. In a daze, happier than she had ever known, she went to bed. When she awoke that morning, she tried to dismiss it as a dream. Then Shoto texted her that it was the greatest night of his life. Her stomach dropped as her mind wiped away its fog. It wasn't pretend. It had actually happened. He had kissed her, and she kissed him back. They had admitted to each other their feelings. For anyone else, it would have been a true joy, a dream come true. For Kairi, she couldn't help but be mortified. There was no way his feelings weren't manipulated by her quirk. There was no way anything he said was true. Bursting into tears, she ran to find her father in the living room, explaining everything. Now, he remained silent, thinking over her words.
She wiped at her eyes, the rapturous storm in her finally settling.
"How terrible of a person am I?" came her shattered and gentle voice. He lifted his eyes, popped with shock.
"Terrible?" he scoffed. His gaping mouth grew into a grin. Then a light chortle erupted from him. It grew louder, stronger, til he was laughing boisterously. Mr. Hoshino threw his head back as he guffawed. Embarrassment slumped her in her seat, but the rolling anger coasted through her. She balled her fists and held them out in view on her lap.
"What is so funny?!" she hissed.
"Ah... ah, right. Yes," he said, her anger snapping him to be less than amused. He pursed his lips, searching. "If everything in your story is correct, you did nothing wrong. In fact, I think you're overanalyzing this."
"Here we go..." she moaned, rising from the couch.
"Kairi, please, wait," he said, reaching out for her. Her eyes challenged him to continue. "Based on your story, Shoto was adamant in saying this was what he wanted. Time and time again, he said he knew his feelings. Look, I've seen the way you are around each other. Shoto may get influenced and agitated when your feelings stir up but you can be angry and he remains calm. He is in control of his own emotions. He is more aware of what he is feeling in comparison to you than I have ever seen anyone. Part of that is from knowing you, the other part of that is that's just how he is."
"I could never forgive myself if it turned out he didn't actually care for me in that way and my quirk made him do that. I would feel like I assaulted him."
"I know that, you know that, and he knows that." He reached for her hand. Kairi stepped forward and let it clutch it tightly. Dark eyes pierced into her, intent on their assurances. "My guess is he's thought long and hard about this. Spent time with himself, debating, thinking it over. Hurting you is the last thing he would ever do. I don't doubt he's considered this as well and he knows this is how you would feel. He would never want to hurt you. I believe he would never have confessed to you or kissed you if he wasn't completely sure. You are a good person, Kairi. No matter what anyone else may say. This quirk could not have fallen on a better suited person."
"I hear your words and I know they're true, but I... I can't..." Again, her voice broke. Sniffles replaced her words. Weight dropped her shoulders as she replayed the situation again. "It's hard. I keep thinking that I... I'm... a monster. That this was my doing."
"I know, dear," he sighed, squeezing her hand. "Despite the hand life has dealt you, you still want to make sure no one is hurt. Which is amazing, when you have seen what I've seen. Lots of people feel they can take because they've been taken from. Answer me this; what convinced you that Shoto truly cared for you as a friend?"
"Time, I guess. Constant assurances. Eventually, I heard it so often and he reminded me so often I just grew to believe it."
"Because you needed to grow into that trust," he said. "Then maybe that's what this needs to be. Whatever this is. Whatever you decide to be. Which is good, because I wouldn't advise you jump into a relationship anyway. You're so young and you need to figure out where you're at."
"What if he... erm... wants to kiss me again?"
"I think you both need to have some serious discussions about all of this. Personally by this point I firmly believe he truly feels what he believes he feels. And if he wants to kiss you again, I would believe he actually wants you. But I am not you, I don't have anxiety the same way as you. I haven't been dealing with mental health the same way you have, with insecurities and everything else that goes with it. I can't pretend to understand the way your mind works, even with my quirk. So you will have to find a system you are both comfortable with." She nodded, releasing his hand.
"Yeah. We definitely need to talk."
"I would also suggest meeting with your counselor. I would bet it's not the first time she's met with teenagers at that school who's quirks caused issues with them dating anyone. She may be able to help you." The load within her lightened, and she was able to casting a glowing smile his way.
"Yeah, I'll do that. Thank you, Dad."
"Anytime, kiddo."
"Quirk stuff aside... what do you think about... Shoto and I? If we decided to pursue, whatever this is." He dropped her hand and leaned back in his chair, staring up at the light above them pensively. He drummed one finger over the thin scruff on his chin. Kairi bounced on her feet, suspense bursting out of her. "Dad come on!"
"I think he's a very good kid. He's very kind. Which is sort of surprising."
"Why is it surprising?"
"His father has a reputation, and sometimes kids of parents with toxic parenting can take on the same traits and become toxic themselves. Of course, this is far from all the time and there are many, many cases of kids recognizing their parents toxicity and breaking away from it, just as Shoto is doing. It's simply always a worry about how the kids will turn out, is what I mean. There have always been speculations and whispers, but nothing we could follow up on. And the way you've spoken about them almost confirms what I believe. Three years ago, someone was even sent to do a welfare check."
"And they found nothing," Kairi growled.
"Yeah. That's the influence of Endeavor's status." His response matched Kairi's disdain, an indicator he was not fond of the results either.
"And he says everything is fine now. He says he's not afraid of his father and while yeah he gets angry, he can't touch him anymore. He's found a way to keep him at bay so he keeps telling me to drop it and let it be."
"Well, that's good! But I would prefer he was removed from him. However, with Endeavor being the number one hero, being tied so closely to the police, and so much of the public relying on him... it would be a near impossible feat to get him convicted of anything. You know how it goes with men with power and money. Now apply that to someone who people rely on to protect them and is good at it."
"I'm diverting from the point. I just mean it's rather surprising to see how much of a... gentleman Shoto is around you. And not just a gentleman, but understands how to respond to you and is mindful of your mental health."
"That's his mother's influence," she said. "She's... so sweet, and kind, but the damage Endeavor left on her... it broke her, Dad. Shoto visits with her all the time. He's said that she sometimes gets flashbacks and he's had to learn how to manage that."
"So he may have spoken to doctors and nurses and over time just learned how to help you. That's... that's a real man there, Kairi." His grinned stretched wider as he began to hobble himself towards the kitchen. Kairi followed close behind. "For you two? I'm agreeable to it. It doesn't sound like he's seen healthy depictions of love and respect in his house between his parents. I guess that would concern me a bit. But considering how he's treated everything else, I wouldn't put it past him to try and learn. He seems to be a kid who is trying to do what's best for him, and for you."
"He is..." her voice was wistful and distant, dreamily floating to thoughts of Shoto.
"I'm going to ask about it, you're just going to have to deal with that," he said with a chuckle. "I'm going to check in on you, on him, on the two of you together... if that's what you decide. I never need to know details, in fact there's probably things you won't want to tell me. But I am going to ask about the important things and wonder how you two are getting along."
"I can deal with that."
"I do like him. Very much. He has taken care of my daughter very well, and it sounds as if he is respectful and is putting your needs first. As he should. Just don't forget to talk to him to figure all this out, all right?"
"Yes, Dad."
"Good. Now for the normal father to daughter dating advice."
"Oh Goooddd!" She swiftly pivoted, preparing to leave the kitchen.
"Hold on, it's not bad or embarrassing." Kairi paused before slowly turning back. Her arms crossed in front of her as itchy boredom filled her. Her eyes screaming impatience as she waited. "You're training to be a hero. That means possibly more than any other student, school has to come first for you. Do not sacrifice work to spend time with him. You need to train, and keep your grades up. I already struggled with letting you go, but since this is what you wanted more than anything, I will prevent you from seeing him if it affects your grades."
"Yes."
"And do not forget your friends. It is so easy to decide the only thing that matters is your partner and you don't need to hang out with your friends. But especially in high school, you cannot make your boyfriend-"
"Not boyfriend, don't know where we are."
"Your... paramour then. Interested one," he said, fishing for the words. "You already see so much of each other at school, events... there is such thing as too much of a good thing. You need time apart. You need to be around different people, experience things separately. Aside from maybe how you talk to each other and how... close... you two are, it shouldn't change that much with you and Shoto."
"I know this, Dad. But thank you, I appreciate it."
"One more thing before you go to finish packing!" Kairi swung her leg back around, stopping herself from running off. Mr. Hoshino brightened before swiveling his chair back to face her. "Because I know you, and you're fearful of the implications of something as simple as you kissing him, I don't believe I have to worry about anything like sex between you two for a long time." Her legs became chutney, a desire to run burning through them. Horror kept her still while her mind shoved her towards the stairs. The words traumatized her and she could not run. So she was forced to stand and listen.
"Must we do this? Please? Seriously, I mean, Dad we only shared a couple of light kisses and held hands, I don't even know if I want to be with him yet, it's a big mess, please please pleeeaaassee!"
"Lack of healthy communication between parents and their children about sex as well as improper education has led many children and people to make incorrect decisions about how they approach intimacy, which had then led to a lot of pain. Of differing kinds. I don't want you to endure that."
"Uggghhhh!" she hissed. Her insides stretched, clawing their way out of this mortifying situation she was forced to remain in. "What, and please make it quick?"
"I personally think you're too young for it."
"Great, we agree, thanks!"
"Waaaiittt. Like I said, I know I won't need to worry about it for a long while. Just, when it happens... make sure you communicate to each other. I cannot emphasize this anymore, it's incredibly important you talk about it. And you are more than welcome to talk to me about it, as embarrassing as it is for the most of us. I don't want you to get hurt in anyway just because you were afraid of embarrassing either one of us. Please, know you can come to me about anything and I won't judge. Remember the school rules and keep those in mind." Kairi blinked, her feet burning to run. "I'm done. Go pack."
"Thank you, I love you, take your medicine, bye!" Quicker than she had ever moved, she was bounding up the stairs. Kairi couldn't make herself get away from the scene fast enough.
It was strange to be back. So much had happened during such a short break. Her classmates shared stories of gifts they had received or what they caught up on with their free team. But it all felt like a strange alternate reality, being back to school in a time where she had not only finally told Shoto how she felt, but also kissed him. Seeing him upon arriving at the dorm was odd. She hadn't replied to much of his texts and all she had told her friends was that something had happened with her and Shoto, and she needed some time to figure out what was going on. Yuga was itching for information, but Tsu continued to give him a death glare to silence him. Momo reminded her she was able to talk about anything she needed and then three of them disappeared into their rooms. With silence in her peaceful dorm once more, Kairi placed freshly folded pairs of laundry into her drawers. Reorganizing her small make-up collection, a soft knock drew her attention to the door.
"Yes?" she called while she placed her eyeshadow palette back into her make-up bag.
"It's Shoto." Her tumbling heart sped.
"Err... c-come in?" She made a face at the strained sound of her voice. The door slowly cracked and there he was once more. Hair both shimmering and aglow, a princely smile adorning his face. He just wore a blue jacket over a white t-shirt and jeans, yet he couldn't look any more striking. She swallowed, fumbling over the zipper on her make up bag.
"Do you need help unpacking at all?"
"No, it's fine you don't need..." But he was already crossing the room, pulling her elephant out of her case and cautiously placing it with the rest of its friends. "Sure, thanks."
"You're not... upset with me?" He patiently asked. Kairi turned back to pull out a stack of books. Her eyes scanned the bookshelf for their place.
"No, not at all. I'm sorry I haven't had the energy to reply... no, that's inaccurate. I haven't figured out how to reply."
"We don't have to be anything if you don't want."
"No, don't say that. I know that after that night, neither one of us can go on like the friends we were and pretend nothing ever happened. But I can't just jump into a relationship. My head is spinning and I already accepted I would never have one. Now you've gone and disturbed all that acceptance and I'm second guessing and I don't know how to make peace with all of this. I... I have no idea how to convince myself my quirk isn't going to interfere." Shoto dropped her deodorant and toothbrush back into the suitcase, stepping over it. Closing the distance between them, he lightly touched at her hand. Chills crept up her arm and she spun to look at him. The blue and grey eyes stole her in, locking her in his gaze. Her neck heated.
"What do you want to do, Kairi? You control the pace. You take the lead. I will follow with whatever you're comfortable with. This is your comfortable level. Don't want me to kiss you again? Then I won't, until you give me the go ahead. I won't even hold your hand." To prove it, he dropped his touch. Denial rushed through her, and she snatched his hand back.
"No! No, I... I mean I liked the kiss, but I... I have no idea..."
"If you don't know, then I won't do it other. Only if I get an affirmative response."
"I guess... I just... I don't want to be a couple. Not yet, I need to figure us out first," she said. "We need to have... many talks. I need to see my counselor about this but I think... Uh... I've had messes of emotions before but never like... like this."
"Take your time," he said, his voice casting a soothing balm over her spirit. She allowed his words to flow across her, settling her mind.
"I want to go about it slow, see where things lead. Maybe sitting close to each other watching a movie... or something. Not much more than what we were doing before but at least now we're...building towards something, seeing where we lead. But if I am going to be sure that you really feel this way, I am going to need to hear you say so and be giv... given attention, erm.. so to speak, when you're not around me."
"Like texts and phone calls?"
"Yeah. I need to learn to trust it, to stop doubting everything." He nodded and swiped the toiletries back up again.
"I can do that, for sure. And yes we can have any conversation whenever you like. You are in complete control of the pace we go. I should probably try to think about... what this means for us as well. I..." He shuddered before quickly placing her toiletries on the counter in her small bathroom. "I want to say I can't... promise I'll... do everything right. I'm unsure how to b-be... attentive. In a romantic sense. I confess I might... I might ask Midoriya for advice." Her form stiffened with terror. "I've kind of been looking up stuff online but there's a lot of assholes there so... not the best. My mom knows too... but... I'm going to try. I'm going to do the best I can to be... whatever it is you need me to be. Please, call me out if I do anything that upsets you and I'll work to correct it." It was hard not to be enamored by his words he already was saying. The thundering inside her would not stop.
"You're already doing wonderful, Shoto. I... I guess the same with me. I might get a little crazy because well... I feel lost. I won't be perfect either, but..." He walked back across the room. Waiting, and with deliberate slowness, he held out his arms. In an instant, she was scrambling towards him. His arms locked around her. Kairi took in his deep scent, radiating in the warmth he covered her.
"We're going to do this together, whatever this is..." His voice was soft and serene. It would be so easy to lose herself to this. "We'll guide each other, but you control the pace. Understand?"
"Yeah..." she said, pulling away. Her glinting eyes reached deep into the core of him, pulling forth warm that flooded through. "Thank you."
"Uh, I guess I'll... see you at dinner."
"Yeah." She watched him going, heart panging as he reached for the handle. "See ya."
He stayed for just a moment longer, taking the opportunity to just see her. He studying the richness of her hair, the way her blue streak shimmered in the dim light. Her eyes reached into him so far, he broke. Lest he lose himself, he quickly disappeared, letting the door shut quickly.
Her chest fluttered as she tried to return to her desk, needing to clear her mind of its fog to recall what it was even doing. Just as she made to empty her suitcase, her phone chirped. Her impatient fingers swiped it, flipping at the sight of a text from Shoto already.
Still like you. A lot. – Shoto.
She giggled, heart sailing with glee.