Happy Holidays. Kinda. I hate the Holidays. Broken families and Holidays do not go together well. But hope yours have been great! Sorry I'm a day late. Been busy! Got really really really real and put some of my own thoughts in the story at the end. Enjoy. Always remember your worth!

Much love, Taylor

At about six that night everyone stood in the Dreyar kitchen. They were laughing and joking around. They felt out of place not having Levy and Gajeel there, but it was okay. They knew they were okay. They had sent them all first looks at the babies. No one else got the photos the mates did. The mates got them and then showed them to their husbands. And by God were they gorgeous babies. The women swooned. Wendy and Rogue were the only exceptions, they got them for themselves. Gajeel was taking good care of all of them. Levy was recovering well. She was still too sore to leave the house but was always up for photos. She looked like how you'd assume a new mom would, but she looked as gorgeous as ever holding those two little blessings. They all couldn't wait to meet them but respected the boundaries Gajeel and Levy were setting up. Plus, they hadn't even told the guild what they had, or what the little one's names were.

"They are so cute." Yukino said looking at the latest photo.

"Daxton has a face like his daddy's." Lucy said. "Gajeel has a scary, yet loving face." Everyone looked at her like she was crazy. "I just mean that he has this scowl that adorns his face permanently, but it softens every time he's happy. And this baby seems to always be happy."

"I don't know, babe. Ray looks a lot like her mommy, and her mommy is one of those cute short girls." Laxus said with a shrug.

"Did you just call Levy cute?" Lucy giggled.

"You know what I mean." He rolled his eyes.

"He isn't wrong." Rogue said. "I think we all can agree that she's cute. You all are, it's part of the bond we have."

"That's mildly creepy." Lisanna said.

"I second that." Kinana said.

"It's nothing sexual." Laxus rolled his eyes.

"Still." Lucy said.

"Can we change the topic?" Natsu said. "Let's talk about your baby."

"Okay. I'll bite, what do you want to know Natsu?" Lucy said. "What's your deal?"

"I'm just checking on you." Natsu said softly. Everyone froze. He was not acting right. He had been so hyped to talk to her about her pregnancy, but now he seemed,

"Worried." Lucy said. "You're worried because you're my best friend and know I struggle with the thought of being a mom. You're acting overly peppy about this baby, because you knew I didn't want a baby for a long time. You're acting like this because you want me to be happy about being pregnant." Natsu looked at her in awe.

"How did you,"

"I'm your best friend, I know all."

"So are you happy?"

"Over the fucking moon." She smiled at him. "I was never not happy, I was just so scared because of the mess we're in. It never crossed my mind that I didn't want this baby; I was just so terrified to be pregnant in this mess."

"Thank the fucking gods!" Natsu exclaimed happily. "I don't have to worry anymore about you!"

"No Natsu you don't. I'm good. I'm happy, really. I know it didn't seem like it, but I am. He will be my greatest blessing."

"He?" Wendy asked.

"She's hellbent it's a boy." Laxus said rolling his eyes.

"Why?" Rogue asked.

"I don't know just a feeling." Lucy smiled. "Who wants to bet on what it is?" They all laughed and nodded. "Who think we're having a girl?"

"I do." Laxus said.

"Me too." Lisanna said.

"I'm going with what I've always thought. I've always thought you'd have a girl first." Natsu said.

"Going on a whim saying it's a girl too." Rogue said. Then there was silence.

"Who's with me?" Lucy said.

"I could totally see you having a boy first." Yukino said.

"I second that." Sting followed up.

"I have no fucking clue, so I'm just gonna go with ya Tink. You better make me right." Cobra said.

"I just really hope it's a boy." Kinana laughed.

"I think it's a boy too." Wendy said.

"Five to seven." Lucy said. "Let the greatest secret games begin!"

"Do you wanna find out?" Yukino asked.

"Not until we give birth. Just like Gajeel and Levy. That our goal. Sorry we choose someone else Wendy, but we really had no choice"

"It's okay, really. I'm pretty sure after this mess, I'm going to be swamped with pregnancies." Wendy said and they all laughed.

"That you will." Kinana said. "But it'll be exciting."

"I don't know baby doll I'm scared shitless. The thought excites and terrifies me to no end." Cobra said scratching his head.

"It just makes me happy." Natsu said. "It makes me happy for all of us. We're getting the family we never had. No matter what our backgrounds, we're all orphans. We all would never want to leave our kids the way ours left us. But even if something happened to one of us, our kids have family that will love and support them no matter what. They'd have a safe place to call home. They have you guys! And that makes me happy dang it!" Lucy had to giggle. But then her tears started. "Luce, what's wrong?"

"I had a family." She said softly. "Mine didn't abandon me, I left them." She sniffled. "I had everything. And I ran away, because I was raped." The whole group stopped breathing a moment.

"L-Luce?" Natsu stuttered. "W-why,"

"I couldn't." She interrupted. "I couldn't tell anyone. I was too afraid. I was afraid to admit, what felt like my dirtiest secret. But it wasn't my dirtiest secret. It was supposed to be his, but it's not. He probably doesn't think twice about what he did." She quickly wiped her tears. "I never told my dad. I never told anyone, before Laxus. I was, and am, okay for being the girl who ran away because of bratty teenage reasons. I'm okay with that, because explaining to fifty to a hundred people that I was assaulted is too hard. I'm working slowly to tell people. To let people in, but it is so damn hard. But I had a family, I just didn't utilize them. I don't know how daddy would have reacted. I like to think he would have been pissed and out for blood, but I don't know because I was too scared to tell him. You guys are my family, and I feel like I need to tell you guys things that no one knows. Things that I keep locked up, because I trust you guys more than anything. It's almost a freeing feeling now that I've told you. It's a huge weight off." She took a deep breath.

"I'll kill him." Natsu deadpanned.

"No." Lisanna said. "That won't solve the problem."

"Yeah it will, he'll be dead." Natsu fought back to his wife. She smiled sadly at him.

"No, what she just did solves a lot of the problem." Lisanna smiled back at Lucy. "I knew." Everyone looked at her.

"How did you,"

"The Edolas Lucy had been abused too. Even though your traits are beyond different, you have the same backstory. I knew but swore to never tell a soul. That was not for me to say. Edolas Lucy told me that it felt better to confide in someone on the topic, rather than keep it in, because that meant she was trusting people enough again. She was starting to open up and it set her free." Lisanna took Natsu's hand softly. "I know you're angry, believe me we all are, but killing this man doesn't eliminate her experience. It might feel damn good, but it doesn't take away her pain. What takes away her pain, is telling her story to people. Specifically, to us because she feels that she can trust us fully. She finally feels like she has a safe space to talk, and that's with us." She paused. "And Natsu that should make you feel so much more than happiness. That should make you want to scream from a mountain top. We all should feel that way, because we're finally there. We trusted each other before, but this is a whole new level. We're going to start talking about things that no one knows, things we keep hidden from the rest of the world, because we're our safe place. For most people it's an actual space, but not us. Our safe place is all twelve of us. And that should be a powerful feeling." Lucy bit her lip to keep from sobbing.

"I-I," Lucy chocked on her words, "I couldn't have said it better myself. Thank you for keeping my secret to yourself. I appreciate it more than you could ever know." Lisanna nodded.

"I just want to say," Cobra said, "it isn't a dirty secret. Dirty secrets are like if I stole a cookie form a store, and never told anyone. Dirty secrets are things that we did but are too afraid to admit we did. Your secret isn't dirty. It's not even a secret, really. It's something that fucking powered you through life. You got your shit together on your own, and are kicking ass and taking names. Tink! You're a baddass! This changes nothing but the fact I fucking think you're amazing." Cobra was being powerful and uplifting in his words, which made everyone wonder what he had seen to make him so emotional over this.

"Cobra, I, thank you." Lucy said. "Thank you so much." Laxus put his hand around her side, pulling her into him.

"We got way deep in here." Yukino said in disbelief that they had just had an eye-opening talk. It was true, they had all thought she had left for mostly bratty reasons, but this changed everything and made them feel kind of bad. Like shit, actually, for ever thinking that she was just a wealthy brat. "one last thing, then let's go back to lighthearted conversations and diner." Everyone nodded. "I want to say sorry, on behalf of all of us. We didn't think you left only for bratty reasons, but I'm guilty of think that it was a major part of it. And I feel awful for ever judging you like that. It was unfair, and I wish I could go back to a younger me and tell her it's not true. But I can't so I'll apologize for all of us, and all of the guilds that don't know and won't know."

"I really appreciate that, but I choose to let you guys think that. I choose that life. I wasn't ready to talk about it, so I played into it a little bit. There's no blame to share. I get it. I would have done it too." They all exchanged smiles, before heading to the table.

They had eaten and had airy conversations all night, until Perun got home, and kicked them all out. He looked exhausted. Lucy made him a plate.

"I thought I'd save you some. Just something that I'd thought you need." He chuckled.

"I very much need it, haven't eaten all day." Perun accepted the plate and started to eat. "You're a good person Lucy." Lucy stopped doing dishes a moment.

"Were did that come from?" Lucy asked. Laxus was in the shower, and was not able to hear them, well at least not well. He only took showers when Perun was here. He knew the dragon would keep her safe no matter what.

"I just don't think you get enough credit."

"For what?" She was genuinely confused.

"I don't think," he sighed, "you got a lot of shit in your head that most people can't deal with. On top of that, you're mated to Laxus, who has been your biggest project. You then hold up a guild. And you raise everyone's spirits by one look. You carry yourself so well, that people think you walk on water. That you're just a genuinely good person, and you are, but they don't know why. They don't know why you give so much kindness and ask nothing in return. No one gets it!" He was starting to get frustrated.

"Take a second Perun. Breathe a minute." He took a couple deep breaths.

"I'm sorry." He said softly. "I know everyone appreciates the shit out of you, but I feel like no one gets it."

"Gets what?" She asked, drying a dish.

"That you're just as broken as them. For every smile you give them, you should be getting one in return. For every forgiveness card you play, you should be getting one too. For every gift you give, tangible or nontangible, you deserve one back ten times more meaningful. And it just seems like sometimes they use you." She chuckled softly.

"I have never, ever, thought of it that way. I know what you mean. It can be a thankless job sometimes, but I never feel like they owe me anything. I feel like I should be that person. I was trapped in a mansion for so long, with no smiles and good mornings, that it killed me. I always wished daddy would take time to play with me, or take me on an adventure. But he was always working too hard. So, when I came, I decided to be that force. The one that could save a life. A smile and a simple hello goes a long way in this world. It makes people's day. We're so lonely these days. We find comfort in one-night stands, but fear commitment. We want to be loved desperately but can't see it in us to love someone else unconditionally. We fear attachment to friends and family, because let's face it, even they leave. I felt a pull to be that little ray of sunshine in people's lives. I chose that path, because I'm scared of it too. I'm scared of all of that, but I got over it. I realize now that society just brainwashed me to believe I'd never be good enough for anything. That I was never going to have the life I wanted. But I chose to defy those odds and do it anyways. And it sucked, and it was hard, and I wanted to give up so many times it hurt, but I did it. I'm here now, and I know I'm worth it to someone. I know my worth. But I know it aside from Laxus and this group. I know that no matter what, I've got me. I am my own best friend. And that sucks sometimes when I look in the mirror and don't like what I see. But I have to power through those thoughts, because they are damaging, and help no one. So, I'll be that force for other people to believe in themselves. Who knows, I could save a life doing it."

"I don't know how you do it." Perun sighed. "I'll never get it, but thank you for all you do. Sincerely. We all appreciate it."

"Go get some sleep Perun. Long day tomorrow."

"Don't stay up too late. We have group training tomorrow." Perun handed her his dish and kissed her cheek. The headed towards his bed. He was exhausted, and tomorrow would bring new challenges. But overall, he was very pleased with his leaders. They were shaping up to be his greatest asset. He loved them more than anything. He only wished his wife could be around to see them in action. He missed her dearly on nights like tonight. He missed her hugs and cuddles. He knew she was in a better place, but he wished he could see her one last time. He swore his slayers would never see what he saw his wife go through. Watching her get slaughtered was the worst thing he ever saw, and it killed him inside still. His nightmares were awful at times, but Lucy was calming a lot of his nerves, because she was Lucy. And Lucy never fails to calm the storm inside of people.