Good.
This felt good.
Becoming one felt good.
She was back in her own body, her own vessel, and all of it's boundaries. It's limits. The limits of her and the limits of him. The boundary of her and the boundary of him. The limit. Him. Her. There. Good. Warm. Sticky. Slick. Good. So good. The most good. Her in her vessel and him in his but him in her vessel as well…
Good.
"Good. Good, good, good, good, so good…" said Mob. That was what she felt so that was what she said. Good. This felt good, the most good, and she had to say so. She had to. To tell him how she felt. She had to tell him with words because she could not tell him any other way. This was not what they had…what she had been…this was different. She had a body, now, and this body had limits. There were so many limits. So many boundaries.
But that made it good.
Because this didn't hurt. She knew where she began and ended. She knew where he began and ended. She knew where they were connected. There. Here. Like this. She ran her hand across his back. She felt him, the boundary of him, the limit of him, the limits of her. he was sticky and slick at the same time. Her hand felt it, him, his back. The boundary of him. Just the one hand, of course, because the other was pinned down. She was laying sideways now, she had been for a while. She wasn't sure how they had ended up here.
Well she had asked him.
She had been carried back to the lab place. Teru had carried her after she passed out. She woke up while he had been carrying her down the hall. She let him carry her even though she had still been awake. She wanted to be near him, then and now. He had carried her over to the bed and put her down…and then she would have been away from him…so she told him not to go and then somehow they had ended up, like this, all tangled up in one another.
"I love you…oh God I love you…." Said Teru. Mob kissed him as best as she could from that angle. He said some more stuff, much of it not in Japanese, but she didn't mind. She wanted to hear his voice, she wanted to be near him, she wanted to be with him. she was with him. She was with him right now.
And it was so good.
His hand found hers. The hand that was pinned. His hand was pinned down, too. They were sideways, which they had never been before, but was very good. There wasn't…she had been…before it had bothered her, the weight of him on her, but now…now she didn't know. She wasn't afraid of…of anything anymore. How could she have ever been scared? This was so, so, so, so, so good…
"This feels good." Said Mob figuring out how to put her words in order. Before she hadn't even used words Just thoughts and feelings. There had been no limits on how she could express herself. No matter what she had been understood completely and totally. He had understood her, Touichirou, back when they were in the…wherever they were. The void. The abyss. The place without limits. The place where they were just…them. Without limits and without vessels.
Mob didn't want to go back.
Even though she had understood everything. Even though, for once in her life, she had heard and had been heard. She had understood and had been understood…but that was not this. This was…this was another level of understanding, another way of being understood. She was sharing herself, her vessel, and having someone else share themselves with her. She was kissed. She kissed back. She kissed back just as hard as she was being kissed. This she understood.
This felt good.
"Shigeko….oh my God Shigeko….oh my God…." Said Teru over and over again. He pushed against her, into her, and she made a noise that she could never recall having had made before. Her throat felt raw and her eyes hurt, it was bright in there, and her skin…her she could never remember feeling as much as she was feeling right then and there. She was sweaty. She was sweaty and slick and so was he and she knew that it should have been gross but…but it didn't. It felt good.
"This feels good." Said Mob softy. It took her a moment to put choose her words and put them in the right order. She had to use words now. Words, not ideas, even though this was kind of like words and ideas…all at once…but with bodies and vessels and even auras…though hers was dim. The room used to shake when they did this…but she didn't have the strength. She was still there in bubblegum pink and electric blue, and so was he in deep gold, but she was dimmer now…tired…more….
She was still there.
But she was still tired.
New. Everything felt new. The silk of the sheets against her side. The red of the room hitting glaring into her eyes, the itchiness of her hair plastered to her head, the softness of his skin underneath her fingers…all of it. It had even hurt, a little, when they started…this. When he laid her down and she opened her eyes to all of this bright red…when she reached her hand over and took his…when she pulled him down to her just so he could be near her….
When he kissed her.
She had kissed him, back, and it had been…it had been the best thing ever…and she had wanted more. She wanted more and she got it. She pulled him down and pulled him close and he got closer to her, so close, and then at some point she had lost the clothes that she had been wearing and so had he and now they were there. Skin to skin. Flesh to flesh. Vessel of vessel. Limit to limit. They were limits. They had limits.
Limits could be good.
Because this did not hurt. It had hurt a little, just a little, when they started. When their clothes had gone to…she'd find them later….when their clothes had gone to some other place and they were there and she wanted nothing more, nothing better, than to become one with him…and then she had kissed him…and he had kissed her…and his skin had been so soft against hers…and then they were one and…and it was this and this was amazing…the most amazing thing. Even if it hurt a little. Uncomfortable. Just a little. Even though they had done this so many times already…and this was…this was not like those times. This was different.
And not just because they were on their sides.
And not just because their fingers were laced together, pressed together, pressed into her…pressed into him. He was kissing her and she was kissing him and he was moving and she was moving and they were moving and the bed jumped a little which meant that her strength was returning but that was ok and everything was ok and this was good and they were good and everything was good-
"Oh….fuck…" said Teru. He said it before he got really rigid and then just sort of…stopped. He stopped and he leaned back, his back was to the wall, and he just sort of laid there…and he was so happy and red…and this whole room was red.
She kissed him again.
He kissed her back but not as hard. Slower, more tired…and that was…Mob rocked against him.
"Teru…why'd you stop?" asked Mob. She was getting better at ordering her words, now. She could pick them out and put them in the right order and make herself be known with words. Known and heard and understood. It had been easier in the void, when she had been returned to nothing, but now she was something, someone, back in her vessel…
Her hand was still pressed against his.
She kissed him. His mouth, his neck, his chest, all of it. The skin of him. His vessel. His limits. Him. He was soft and sweaty and salty…and he also tasted kind of like dirt…but he was still amazing and this was amazing and she had no idea what she'd do without him…without everything….
She loved him.
"Again?" asked Teru. He opened his eyes slowly. For once, just for once, he had not been about to cry. Well he had felt like it but he had not felt like he had been on the precipice of some abyss. He had felt like crying a little, just a little, but he had managed not to. She was there and she was his and the first thing she wanted to do when she woke up from that weird, death like, sleep….the first thing she had wanted to do was him. Be with him…like this.
God. He loved her.
He was with her again. She was there and she was his and she was alive…and so was he…and everyone had lived and now it was all done…and that had been more than he had ever thought was possible. From what had happened. He had thought, been sure of, the fact that he was going to die. That she was going to die. That they were all going to die…but they had made it. Everyone had made it and now everyone was alive and…and that was good.
This whole thing was good.
Especially her. Especially the way she was rocking again him. Her hand met his, and her other hand was tracing patterns up and down his back, and she was kissing him…and if she wanted this again then he could…even though he was dead tired. He wasn't sure if he had slept, actually, or what he would have called whatever state he had been when he had been buried in the dirt…he was tired. He was tired and he wanted to sleep…
But he also wanted this.
Her.
"Teru…you feel good. This feels good. I want more." Said Mob between kisses. She had never felt anything so good in her life…well she must have but now, well, all she could remember was how much it had hurt. Before. How much pain she had been in…and she was so tired of pain….she wanted to feel good, not bad. She wanted to feel close to someone, not alone, not all alone in her vessel and her limits.
This vessel. Her vessel. His vessel. Their vessels.
His hand left hers and traced down her thigh. She made that noise again, that one that she knew should have embarrassed her, as his hand went down her thighs and then stopped at her knee, and then moved upwards…this was good. This was the best. He was the best and he loved her and this was love and this was what love felt like and it felt good and she was feeling something good for the first time in so long and it was all over and she was there and she was alive and he was alive and everyone was alive and it just felt so good to be alive….
"Teru….I love you." Said Mob. That was how she felt. That was how the words were supposed to be, the order that they were supposed to be in. She wished that she had been back in the void, but with Teru this time, because maybe I love you was not enough words. She wanted him to know, to know how she felt, to know what this was to her…for him…what he was to her…what he was for her…was love enough? Was there a bigger words than love?
She didn't know.
All she knew was that he was making her feel good and she already felt good because she was alive…and this was the best.
The very best.
"I love you too….Oh God I love you so fucking much…." Said Teru. She was still rocking against him. She was still there and she still wanted this and he wanted nothing more than to make her happy. She deserved it. She saved them, she saved him, and…and he hadn't been able to save her. He closes his eyes. He sees it. The explosion.
The white explosion. The slow explosion. It expanded outwards and upwards. It expanded until it took a form…her form…and he couldn't run anymore…and he didn't want to…and then he got caught up in it. In her. That was what it had felt like, her, being within her. Within her aura, not her body, they both felt good but in different ways. He had been prepared for whatever that was, then, because if that was death then he welcomed it. Her. Him. Together.
But he hadn't died.
And she hadn't died.
And now they were here. This was not what he had set out to do when he carried her to his room. He had just laid her down on his bed because she was sleeping and he was sleepy and it had just been so much, too much, and he hadn't wanted to think about how much it had been…so he had busied himself finding her something to sleep him, something that he could dress her in, because she was wearing that wedding dress…and it didn't fit…and also she had been wearing Reigen's coat….
He hated that dress.
He hated that coat.
And he loved her.
And he had just wanted to put her in something other than that hideous, terribly, ensemble. Her dress that didn't fit, that was burnt, that was torn, that had been covered in blood before….and Reigen's fucking coat. He needed to dress her in something else, anything else, and he had been mentally kicking himself for not packing any of her clothes when he had been hit over the head with Reigen's jacket…and her dress…
And then she had asked him to come to bed with her.
And then she had kissed him.
And then she had asked him to become one with her.
Which was the new phrase that he was using for this. There was no other way to describe it. He had been inside of himself and inside of her and she had been inside of herself but also all around him…and it had never felt like that before. Not even the first time. But he hadn't cried…even though he had wanted to…even though he still wanted to…
He was just that happy.
And so was she, it seemed. She was saying his name over and over again. Teru. Teruki. Over and over again like a prayer. Her nails were digging into his skin, her thighs were cutting off circulation to his hand, and it was wonderful. Being with her like this. Being with her at all. He had almost lost her…but now all of that was over…it was over and done with. He wondered if this was how it felt when a big war was over. You were done fighting and then you go to go home to the woman you loved. The fighting was done with…it had to be…although maybe they should have done something about that guy instead of just leaving his naked ass to freeze out in the cold…although in his defense Sho hadn't let anyone go near his father after he passed out, nearly naked in the dirt….
Good. He deserved it.
He had hurt Shigeko and he deserved what he got.
"Teru…keep going…" said Mob. She wanted to feel like that again. Again and again and again and again until she forgot what pain felt like. She never wanted to hurt again. She never wanted to feel…any of what she had felt before again. She can still kind of feel it when she thinks about it. Her body burning away. Her skin popping and bubbling…
The bed floats a little.
But just a little. Her powers feel far away and slippery, like trying to catch a greased up medicine ball would probably be like. She can feel the other Shigeko, there, but she feels like she's far away too. Far away and asleep. Deep asleep. Mob was done sleeping…even though this is very comfortable…and not just comfortable but…she leans herself more into Teru. Their skin is sticking together, now, and it's kind of hot and itchy. She shifts…and regrets it. There's a wet spot under her and it feels…not the best…but not the worst either….
She's happy.
He's making her happy. She's making him happy. A positive feedback loop. Sort of. One with bodies, not powers, one with limits. Limits that she does not mind. The limits make it better in a way…and it's already pretty amazing…
"Teru…Teruki….please…" said Mob breathlessly. She was tired of feeling bad. She wanted to feel good. She wanted him to make her feel good. She wanted to make him feel good. She wanted them to become one….but in the good way. The way with auras. The way with limits.
"A-Are you sure? I mean I remember what you said before about what happened and I just….I don't want to make you upset…and I don't want to remind you of what happened with-" said Teru. The last time they had done this she had said that she had been so upset that she had gone into her own mind until it was done…and that had been like getting kicked in the chest, the balls, and the back of his head all at the same time…and his only saving grace was that he had not known. That was why they were on their sides, now, because having his full weight on her was a thing…and he did not want to make her feel like that again…and if he was making her feel like that again, especially after she had saved the world, then he would not have been able to live with himself….
"Teru…please. I'm happy…so happy…you make me so happy…" said Mob between kisses. She kissed his mouth, his cheek, the side of his neck, the spot where she could feel his pulse, his collar bone, over his heart, wherever she could find. He tasted salty. She liked it.
"Holy fucking shit….you want this that badly? Me? Shigeko…just…wow…thank you…thank you so much…I can't believe…do you really want this that badly? Me?" asked Teru. There was a thing in movies where after the main male and female lead had some sort of big, climactic, near death experience they decided to have another big, climactic experience. Art imitated life, it seemed, because she had never been this…insatiable…before. He likes that word. It feels good in his mind. On his tongue, too, though he does not speak it. He's filthy, he's exhausted, and he knows that he looks terrible but he just does not care. How could he? She's there and she loves him and she wants him.
And he's happy to be alive.
And this is their epilogue. This is the end of their movie and now they're going to live happily ever after. If this had been an old movie, something post war but pre mass adaption of color, they would have cut to fireworks or cherry blossoms by now. Then the end credits would start and that would have been the end of it…but this was not the end of it. No, this was their beginning…
"You. I want you." Said Mob. She wanted to become one with him and nobody else…well not nobody else…but she was not going to think about….about that right now. About him right now. About the grey coat she could see tossed over on the floor. She loved…she loved Teru…and right now that was what…everyone was ok. Everyone was ok and she needed just a few hours of not beating herself up over all of this….over stuff…she kissed Teru again. She kissed him again and he went back to what he had been doing…
And she had never felt so close to him before.
She knew how this had made her feel, before. How all of it had made her feel. Not in the beginning but after all of the stuff with Mogami…she knew that she should have been afraid but…but she was not afraid. She was not afraid of anything anymore. How could she had been? She had died. Her body had been destroyed and her soul had been free…and it had hurt so much….and then she had returned to nothing, to the void…
And she had come back.
Maybe the void was the other side. Maybe she had gone to the same place where all of the spirits she exorcised went. Maybe she had been well and truly dead and now she was….she wasn't a spirit and she wasn't a zombie. She didn't think that zombies could be real, anyway, because she had never seen a spirit possessing a corpse. She was alive. She had made this body, remade it, and she was remembering…coming back. How much it hurt. How much all of it had hurt…
"I'm sorry." Said Teru. It had been too much for her. Her eyes were closed and she was starting to get all nonresponsive. He knew what that meant. He had pushed her too hard again and now she was going inside of her own head, again, and it was all his fault and-
"You stopped…and you apologized….why?" asked Mob. She opened her eyes. He was so close that he looked blurry. She could see him but also not. How did she look to him laying that close? What was this like for him? What was anything like for him? Was he remembering too? How much it must have hurt? He had been hurt when they had met up…before the great big fight…was he thinking about that? Or was it over for him, gone from his mind, and now he was thinking about…about regular things? What was it even like to think about regular things? Mob didn't even remember….
"I saw you, what you were doing. How you went all nonresponsive. I don't want to make you feel like that again…how I had made you feel before. I never want to make you feel like that again." said Teru softly. She propped herself up on her arm and looked at him for a very long time. The longer she looked at him the more assured he was of the fact that he had fucked up and that she wanted nothing more to do with him….
"Teru…why do you think that? That I felt bad? You're making me feel good, Teru, I would have told you if you were making me feel bad." Said Mob
"But you…before. You didn't before. Before you just went inside of your head while I was…while we were…and I don't want to make you feel like that again…" said Teru. There. The crying had started. She was still looking at him. He couldn't read her face or her aura…what aura he could see. She reached out and brushed his tears away.
"I don't feel like that anymore. I'm happy, now. You make me happy. Being with you, right now, like this, is making me happier than I've been in so long. Teru….I've been sad for so long. I've been mad for so long. I've been hurt and scared for so long….I don't want to feel like that anymore. I want to be able to be happy again. To feel good again. I want…Teru I want to feel good….because I'm so tired of feeling bad…and I don't want you to feel bad anymore. I don't want that." Said Mob
"I-I can't help it. It's just…I want this with you. I love you and I love having this with you…and I just…we saved the world. We just saved the whole fucking world….and we should be celebrating…hell, we were celebrating…and I should not be feeling like this…" said Teru
"You can feel however you want to feel. I can't tell you how to feel…and I don't think that you should tell yourself how to feel, either. I think that you should just feel whatever you feel right now in this moment." Said Mob
"Ok…ok. I feel…I feel love. I feel love for you and I feel you loving me…and I feel…I'm happy to be alive. There were so many times that I thought that I was going to die…that I was going to lose my life and their lives…and your life. I thought that I was going to lose you…but you're here. You're here and you're alive and that's all I want…I want to feel good too….but I just…I love you and I can't stop thinking about how close I came to losing you…" said Teru
"You didn't lose me. I came back to life…if I even died. I might have died…I know that I lost my body and I had to put it back together…and I know that it hurt…and I just want to feel good. I want to feel good, here, with you. I don't….I don't want to think about what happened to me or to you guys or to…I just want to be here, now, with you. That's all that I want." Said Mob
"That's all that I want, too…" said Teru. She had lost her body…he had known that already. He had seen her lose her body, her vessel. He had seen her turning night into day. She had been so bright, so very bright, and so beautiful that it had hurt to look at her…but he had looked at her. He had been looking at her until the very end and it had been-
He kissed her.
She kissed him back.
She wanted to feel good. He wanted to feel good. They both wanted to feel good right then in that moment.
So why not just…feel good?
Reigen did not feel good at all.
He should have been happy. Mob was alive, all of the esper kids were alive, and he was alive too. That was the best outcome that any of them could have hoped for. Alive. Alive and well, actually. Better than well. Sure their clothes had been ruined, clothes could be so easily replaced, but their bodies had healed once they had been enveloped in…whatever that had been. The explosion.
No more scars.
Those Scars had lost their scars. The prominent ones on their faces. He had his scars, too, the one on his knuckle, his knee, even the spot where he had cut himself shaving…all gone. He was better than fine and so were the esper kids and those former Scars…so, really, he should have been happy. It was over. The final battle had ended, the villain had been defeated, the hero had won, and now it was time so see what else was on. If they had been in one of Mob's shows, anyway. Real life was a whole other story. This was real life and in real life things didn't just go back to normal once you beat the bad guy…
The city was still in ruins.
Some of the buildings around the explosion had been put back together….and Reigen did not trust them. He loved Mob, he really did, but she was not a structural engineer. Maybe that was why there weren't any helicopters or planes or whatever investigating that big tree…thing. The big tree that looked like a broccoli stalk…and felt wrong to look at for too long. That thing…it was not right. He did not like looking at it.
So he stopped.
He was on his way back to the Awakening Lab now. Mob had passed out after whatever it was with that Suzuki guy. She had just collapsed but her boyfriend had, luckily, been there to catch her. He had nowhere else to go but the Awakening Lab, Reigen had offered up his home but he had no takers, and he had taken Mob back with him. Reigen knew that he should have been the one to carry Mob home, to their home, and he should have been the one to keep vigil over her…but he also knew that he was not who she needed right then and there.
The dust had cleared.
He could see, clearly, what had happened between them. All of it. He had not been there for her…he had almost died for her…but he had not been there for her. That was why he was avoiding her, sort of. That was what he told himself. It had nothing at all to do with Dimple possessing Mob and kissing him. Nothing to do with that at all. That had just been something….something bad that Dimple had done…and it hadn't been Mob at all…
Even though it had been her.
But he could hate himself about that later. He could hate himself for that split second, that delay, in which he had actually…he could hate himself for that later. He could hate himself for everything that had gone wrong later. He could hate himself for the fact that he had been unable to stop her from diving headfirst into danger, for not being able to protect her from…from everything that he had seen…for not being the man that she wanted him to be. That she had needed him to be.
He had been scared out of his mind.
And she had seen him scared out of his mind. She had seen him panicking. She had seen…she had seen a lot. He had ben panicked and scared and…and a lot of other things. Even when he had gotten himself under control, after he had almost died by that Suzuki guy's hand, he had been panicked. He should have had it under control…though he had no idea how anyone was supposed to have that situation under control. Some wannabe shonen villain had honestly tried to take over the world.
And a fourteen year old girl had kicked his ass.
Mob hated fighting, she hated violence, and yet she had been the one to deliver the much needed ass whupping to that…that words that Reigen should not have been using. Heh. What would his mother say if she knew that he knew even half of those words? She'd have had words for him, his mother, if she hadn't already…
No bars.
No signal.
No internet.
No phone.
Cut off from the world.
Whatever. He could just imagine what his mother was going to shout at him. It would start with her berating him for not calling and it would end with her telling him that he had been taking terrible care of Mob. Well she would not have been wrong on either account. He hadn't picked up his phone back when calls had been able to get through and he had not been able to keep Mob safe. Not now and not…not then either. But she would not have seen it that way. She was incapable of seeing him for what he was…
She had called him a good person.
Back when they had gone their separate ways…when he had abandoned her….and she had come back she had called him a good person. Even though he had pushed her away. Even though he had lied to her. Even though he had treated her like…like she was nothing. She had still called him a good person even though he had done nothing to deserve that…even now he was…
He didn't know what he was.
The guy bringing her a change of clothes. He was the guy bringing her a change of clothes because all she had to wear was his suit coat and that wedding dress she had gotten from…somewhere. Heh. Mob had stolen a wedding dress. Well that was better than her fighting naked….and now he's remembering something that he should not have. She had been…thank God her little brother had found that dress. That damned dress….
He hated that dress.
Why did it have to be white? Even in the dark of the nigh the blood stood out…Mob's and…there had been so much blood. She had gotten so hurt…but she had continued to fight. She had fought on and on and on like he sometimes heard her telling herself when she practiced her sit-ups or pushups or whatever else-ups that they had been working on in her club. She had fought on and she had won and now it was all over and they could put that dress back where it came from.
He wished that he had another uniform for her to wear.
Because that was what she should have been wearing. She was a fourteen year old girl, not some kind of anime hero. She should have been in her school uniform and her gym shoes and not…not how she had been…not in that damned wedding dress. It's stupid, he knows, to be so angry at an article of clothing…but he cannot help it. He knows that he should have been happy, that he had no reason to be angry with her dress, but he was.
And he was angry at himself.
And he was angry at that tree, too, that followed him no matter where he walked. He was walking back to the Awakening Lab. He was freshly washed and freshly dressed and he was ready to greet the day…what was left of it…and he had some clothes in an old grocery bag for Mob to change into, and then after she changed then they could figure out what their next move would be. The whole thing, that whole long thing, had been over and now they could move on with their lives…
The office had burnt down.
A good portion of the city had burnt down.
The schools were most likely closed.
There were posters everywhere saying that the trains outside of the city were free…probably in an effort to get people to leave. Downtown was in ruins. The economy around here was probably shot to hell. If there was no work then there was no reason for people to stick around….which would then tank the real estate market….and the economy hadn't been that great to begin with…
Maybe he should move.
The thought is absurd. Where would he even go? He couldn't take Mob away from her friends and her brother and her boyfriend. She needed stability. She needed safety and stability because she had been without both of those for so long. He…he wanted to give her all the safety and stability that he could…but he couldn't give her that here.
A cold wind blew.
He wanted to put as much distance between himself and that tree, and this city, as possible. It was over…at least it seemed like it was over. Suzuki had keeled over, hopefully dead…and that's a terrible thought to think….but also he deserved it for what he did. He was done, it was done, and now there was nothing left for everyone to do but pick up the pieces of their lives…
The esper kids had all gone home.
Ritsu had gone with them, well with his girlfriend, and Reigen…his heart went out to the kid. He couldn't even begin to imagine what that must have been like. To live though all of that, to have had to see all of that, and then to have his home burnt to the ground. One of those guys had told the kid that he could have it fixed up in a few days but…still. Poor kid.
Reigen didn't blame him for not wanting to be by Mob's side.
Not when his girlfriend so clearly needed him. That girl…Reigen owed that girl his life. He owed Mob his life. He owed a lot of teenage girls his life. That poor kid, though, she had been a mess during all of…that. She had still stepped up, though, and she had saved them all. So, yeah, she deserved some time with her boyfriend. Not that Reigen could have told Ritsu to stay with him and Mob until something was done about his living situation…no. Reigen did not have that kind of power and Ritsu hated his guts, it seemed, though Reigen had no idea why.
The lying.
The fact that he had used Mob, shamelessly used her, for years.
All the ways he had failed to keep her safe.
So, yeah, Reigen deserved the kid's blatant dislike. He got what he deserved out of this world. But not…he did not deserve Mob. He had done nothing in his life to earn him someone like her. Someone as transparently good as her. Someone who would gladly lay her life on the line for him. She had been prepared to die for him. He had been prepared to die for her. They were even…and it never should have come to that…and it would never come to that again. He would never put her in a position where she would ever be in that kind of danger.
Ever.
And he meant it, this time.
She was safe, though, as safe as she could be. He was coming up on the lab now…and he could sort of see her aura…but it was dim. It had been dim since they had dug her up. She had been so out of it and her aura had been so dim but she was still alive and she was ok and he would keep her safe, he would always keep her safe, and-
And he meant it, this time.
Sho meant it when he told everyone to get leave him alone.
"Get the fuck away from me! I mean it this time!" shouted Sho for what felt like the millionth time that day. Dad was asleep. He was breathing, his aura was dull but there, so he wasn't dead yet. He was just sleeping. Sho had picked him up and tried to lay him in a comfortable position. Some pillows, a futon, and bedding had been liberated from what was once some kind of bedding store and put to good use. Dad may have been trying to take over the world, he may have almost killed his own son, and he may have embarrassed Sho more than he had ever thought humanely possible…but he did not deserve to sleep on the cold ground.
"Sorry! I'm sorry! I just thought…you seemed like you were cold, that's all." said Serizawa. He got away from Sho like he had been told. Sho had been keeping vigil over the President and Serizawa had been…he had been keeping vigil too. Even after everything that had happened, everything that had gone wrong, he still cared about the President…
Something was wrong with him.
The President had almost killed Sho. He had treated him so poorly…and then he had almost killed him…and he had killed so many people…and he had made Serizawa complacent in so many bad things…and now they were here. They were out in the cold. The President was sleeping in his robe on the outdoor bed Sho had made. Sho was shivering, his face was red, and his hands were buried in his pockets…and yet he rejected Serizawa's offered blanket. It had been found in a pile of rubble left over from what had once been a store…
Stealing was wrong.
Well, this might have been looting…and it didn't matter. He had committed a lot of crimes…like treason. Treason was a pretty serious crime…and he knew that he should have started running like the others had. The other members of the Ultimate Five, Minegishi and Hatori, had run away once the dust settled. Shibata was still out there somewhere and Shimazaki…well he had probably gotten himself to safety ages ago. His friends…at least he had always considered them his friends. Now he was not so sure. He didn't know what anything was any more.
He knew what real friendship looked like, now.
And he knew that the only thing he had that had even been close to friendship had been what he'd had with Sho. Sho…Sho who now didn't want anything at all to do with him…and that was fine. That was…that was not anything that Serizawa did not deserve. He had been a pretty terrible friend to Sho. Sho had almost died…and it had all been Serizawa's fault.
If he had just stepped in sooner….
"Now you care about me?" asked Sho. He was cold, so cold, but he didn't want anything from Serizawa. Not after the shit that he had pulled. So he'd put his life on the line for a guy he had never even met before but he would gladly listen to Sho getting the crap kicked out of him for the millionth time? How the fuck did that even work?!
"I-I-I…I have always cared about you. There had never been a time, since I've met you, that I haven't cared about you, Sho. I…I am so sorry. I am so sorry for…for everything. Everything that I've put you through. I should have done more to protect you. I should have…I should have defected when you asked me to. I have been a terrible friend and I understand if you want nothing more to do with me." Said Serizawa. That was everything that needed to be said. Sho…Sho did not need him. Nobody needed him. He was terrible, the worst, and he understood why Sho as upset with him….it had been nothing that he hadn't earned.
He had made his own bed and now it was time to lay in it.
"Bull shit." Said Sho. He was tired. He wanted to rest. He wanted to lay his head down on that makeshift bed and just…just sleep. He didn't know what had happened to him after the explosion ate him but he knew that, judging by how tired he was, he hadn't been sleeping. He did not want to deal with this right then and there. What did Serizawa want? His forgiveness? Him to tell Serizawa that they were still best buddies for eternity and that everything was forgiven?
Well it wasn't.
"I-I really am sorry…and if you don't want to…to have anything more to do with me then…then I accept that." Said Serizawa. No matter what Sho said he would accept it.
"Shut up already." Said Sho through gritted teeth. He did not want to deal with this. He did not want to deal with anything anymore.
"Sho-" said Serizawa
"Just shut up! I don't want…I don't want to deal with right now! I have been doing nothing but dealing with shit for months! Planning all of this shit…for months! And then-then-then it happened and-and-and I am so fucking tired right now!" said Sho
"I underst-" said Serizawa
"No, you don't….you really don't. I'm tired, Serizawa, I'm cold and I'm tired and I want…I want all of this to be over already. I…I don't want to talk about this with you. I don't want to talk about how mad I am at you. I don't want to talk about how…how you betrayed me. How you were just going to let dad beat me to death…and how you only came back for a guy you…you didn't even know." Said Sho. That was the worst part of all of it. Serizawa would have let Sho die but he would have risked his life, had risked his life, for some guy that he hadn't even said two words to…
"I-I came back for you, too." Said Serizawa. It was too little too late. Sho had been…he hadn't even been conscious when Serizawa had finally decided to stop hiding on the steps like a scared little kid. Then he had carried Sho in his arms…and he had been so hurt…and Serizawa could have saved him from that hurt…
He had been terrible.
"Yeah, after dad had already kicked the crap out of me. After he had kicked the crap out of…out of Ritsu's big sis…and you only came back because of her, didn't you?" asked Sho
"That's not-" said Serizawa
"Yeah…you only came back because of her. If she hadn't of shown up when she did…if she hadn't…you only came back because of her….you only betrayed dad because of her…" said Sho
"There were…it's complicated…" said Serizawa
"Tell me I'm wrong. Come on, Serizawa, tell me to my face that I'm wrong. Tell me that you coming back when you did had nothing to do with Ritsu's big sis." Said Sho
"Sho…I was wrong. I was wrong to betray you, wrong to let you suffer, and she…she showed me how wrong I was. I was….I still am….I'm not a strong man. I'm weak. I'm pathetic. I…I let terrible things happen to you and I…I was so blind and so weak that I hadn't even realized that I was betraying you…and I'm sorry." Said Serizawa
"Yeah…you were wrong. So were so damn wrong…" said Sho
"I was. I was a-and I know that me saying 'sorry' will never be enough." Said Serizawa
"You're right. It won't be." Said Sho
"And I know that you hate me-" said Serizawa
"I don't hate you. I don't hate anybody." Said Sho quietly.
"You'd be right to hate me if you did, Sho. I wouldn't blame you…I hate myself." Said Serizawa
"Shut up." Said Sho
"I do. I hate what…what I let myself become. The sort of person I am…to you. To everyone…and myself. I hate-" said Serizawa
"Don't be stupid. There's no point in hating yourself. Just try and do better next time. Try and fix what you've done wrong. You think that I'm not mad at myself for all the fucked up shit that I've let happen over the years? Well I am and instead of sitting around bitching and moaning about all of the terrible shit that I've done I, instead, tried to fix it. I tried to stop dad…I tried…so what are you going to do?" said Sho
"Do?" asked Serizawa. What could he do? He had no idea. The organization to which he had devoted his life to was gone. The President might have been in a coma. His mother was certainly aware of what he had been complacent in…and she probably hated him now…what could he do besides sit there and…and just…just made sure that Sho was ok?
"Yeah, do. What are you going to do to make up for all of the shit that you've done? I don't give a crap that you feel bad, I want to know that you're actually going to do something. Well, are you? Are you going to do something or are you just going to sit there and cry about how you're such a bad person and all of that shit?" asked Sho. Anyone could have gone on and on about how bad they felt. What mattered was making a vow to do better and then acting…acting on that vow. That was…that was the only way that he could have even considered forgiving Serizawa.
"I-I-I don't know…." Said Serizawa. Claw was gone. He had committed terrible crimes so people were probably after him. His mother had probably changed her name and moved away to parts unknown in order to distance herself from him. There was nothing that he could do…nowhere that he could go…
There was the offer.
The one that Reigen had stuttered out at him while they were running for their lives…from Miss Kageyama and…and the President's final light. Before they had been enveloped Reigen had asked, had told him, that if they made it out of this alive he had a job for him…
"But I might have a way." said Serizawa. Maybe it was just the words of a man about to die. Maybe it was a genuine offer. Either way he knew that he had to do something. He had to do something…something that he chose to do…because he had spent so much of his life being blows from place to place like a plastic bag caught in a breeze…and look where that had gotten him. He didn't know where the future would take him, or even what the present had planned for him, but he at least…at least there was something that he could do.
That he wanted to do.
Reigen had no idea what he wanted to do.
Well he knew that he didn't want to be there. The Awakening Lab had been a little worse for the wear but still a hell of a lot better than a lot of the surrounding buildings. Reigen had thought that he wanted to be there, to be there for Mob when she woke up…
But she had been awake for a while, it seemed.
Reigen was grateful that her aura was dim and her powers were, apparently, pretty burnt out for the time being. He was grateful that there was so must distance between the two of them that his aura could barely bond with hers. He was pretty damn grateful for that. The most grateful that he had ever been.
Because he knew exactly what Mob was doing.
And he wished that he could go back to sweet, blissful, innocence.
He had been pointed to where Mob and her boyfriend's room was…and like a moron he had gone to their room to give Mob the clothes he had packed for her. Socks, undershirt, underwear, skirt, T-shirt, sweater, and a nightgown too incase she wanted to wear pajamas. No shoes, though, because she had lost her only pair in the fight…
And maybe his next move should have been to find a shoe store that was opened at the end of the world.
Heh. Maybe Amazon was still delivering…but still no bars. No internet bars and no real bars, either, where he could drink away the memory of what he had heard…and felt…before he had hightailed it right out of there. He knew that as an adult it was his responsibility to cock bloc horny teenagers but…but Mob had earned this. She had fought for them, she had won for them, and she deserved to feel loved and to feel…all of that.
So Reigen was ok with that.
But that did not mean that he wanted to see, hear, or feel what was happening in that room. Nope. He and Mob were close but not that close. He left the bag of her clothes by the door and then made his way across the building until the smell of food ensnared him and he found himself sitting on a stool in the kitchen eating curry with a guy who he strongly suspected that he didn't like.
"Should we do something about…that?" asked Matsuura as he sat across from Reigen nursing his own curry and rice. The cooks had all head for the hills as soon as the Claw guys found the building so now it was just him. Him and Reigen and the two kids that had chosen to stay. The others had gone back to their families. They'd be back later, though, in a few days maybe once things got settled and he managed to fix what had been broken.
Maybe they could even have a party!
"Mob's the one who kicked that Suzuki's guy's ass. She saved all of us. She can get some if she wants. It's not like I'm in any position to tell her to stop." Said Reigen sourly as he picked at his food. Mob and him could do better than this with those curry cubes they sold two for one hundred yen.
"I know….and I'm grateful to her for it! I just…they're just kids…is it, you know, responsible to let them-" said Matsuura
"Listen, I'm not in a good mood right now. Not in the least bit. I just saved a shit ton of kids, your kids, from certain death…so don't you even begin to think that you're in any position to start up about what's responsible. I'd rather Mob and her boyfriend go at it until it goes out of style than have them go back out there and do even a tenth of what they did last night. Ok? If it's a choice between sex and certain death I'll pick sex every time." Said Reigen not even looking up. Mob wasn't the only one who was out of it powers wise. His own aura was trying to bond with Mob's even though she was too weak and too far away…which was good. He was keeping this anger, this….all of these feelings to himself…
He scraped his spoon against his plate.
"….I was worried about them too, you know. I mean they're all espers but they're still so young-" said Matsuura. If there had been some way for him to help he would have. He wasn't an esper, he didn't have any abilities whatsoever, and he would have been more of a hindrance than a helper in that fight. Really they were all better off on their own with those other espers, the adults. He was hurt by what Reigen had said but he wasn't about to start anything…he didn't want to be alone…
"They're all in middle school…and they're barely espers. Those kids were sitting ducks. The only one that was useful was Rei…and she's probably been traumatized. Hell, I think that everyone's been pretty thoroughly traumatized. I can't believe…you know what? People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. I'm just as guilty as you are and I am in no mood to pick a fight with you or anyone. I just want to eat and sleep and then…I don't even know." Said Reigen
"You can stay here for as long as you like. I mean I know that a lot of people have lost their homes…" said Matsuura
"My place is fine. I don't need to stay here…but I might. Just to be there for Mob…so thanks for your offer…and….thanks for keeping all of the kids here, at least, for as long as you did. Those damned kids…kids…there's something wrong with these kids today…." Said Reigen
"Who could understand a single thing they say?" said Matsuura
"Why can't they be like we were?"
"Perfect in every way." said Matsuura
"You know Bye-Bye Birdie?" asked Reigen
"I've seen it a couple of times. You?" asked Matsuura
"My mother is obsessed with musicals. For a while when I was a little kid I thought that all music came from movies. Heh. If she could see me now." Said Reigen
"My mother was the same way. She wanted me to get into show business but I…I have no talents whatsoever. Not like all of you." Said Matsuura
"So your parents made you feel invisible so you, what, decided to start up this place so you could get psychic powers and then you'd come back and rub it in their faces?" asked Reigen sardonically.
"Yeah. Pretty much. I had a crappy childhood and now I spend all of my time with a bunch of middle school kids and I study their powers, if you can even call it that, so I can finally be someone my mother can be proud of. That's me in a nutshell." Said Matsuura with a shrug. There was no use lying or sugarcoating it. He was what he was.
"You and me are in the same boat, I guess. My parents were grade 'A' assholes and they made me feel like I was no one so I decided to become someone and here I am. My best friend is a fourteen year old girl with a better love life and social life than I ever had." Said Reigen with a laugh. He could laugh, now, and he did. Ridiculous.
This whole thing was ridiculous.
He was sharing a meal with a man who he had every right to hate, letting the kids walk into certain death and all, and yet all he could do was laugh. Was this what he might have been if things had gone differently? If his parents had been rich assholes instead of just assholes? He had no right to throw stones at this man or at anyone. He had no right to…to anything.
But he could laugh.
Because this whole thing had been so absurd. A fourteen year old girl had defeated to so called strongest psychic on Earth. Mob had kicked a grown man's ass….Mob of all people. Heh. Mob had been the one to save him, not the other way around…and that was how it always had been. He had been prepared to….to go up against that madman with only a toy gun and his big mouth for protection…and then Mob had been the one to…to save him…and then he had been running and then…then that light and…and then that damn tree….
"You got anything around here stronger than strawberry milk?" asked Reigen suddenly. He was interrupting, he knew that he was and that it was rude, but he needed a drunk more, then, than he had ever needed one at any point in his life. Even though he knew that he shouldn't have been drinking, that the whole thing could maybe even start up again, and that he had to be there for Mob when she was done with…all of that…
But then he realized that Mob had always been there for him, not the other way around.
A bottle of wine had been produced. For cooking. Not commercial cooking wine, thank God, but still not the best…but Reigen didn't care. For every great crisis in his life he had reached for a drink and this was the greatest crisis that he had ever faced so far. He had almost lost Mob…again…but this time…this time he had been there to see it. This hadn't been inside of someone's mind or body or soul like that shit with Mogami had been…this had been…this had been right there in front of him.
He knew that he should have put that bottle down.
He knew that he should have been responsible.
He knew that he should have been a lot of things.
But he also knew that he just…he could not. He could not be the man that he was supposed to be right then. Besides, he had earned the right to celebrate. Mob was certainly celebrating…and thank God that drinking dulled what little powers he had….yes, this was a practical and pragmatic measure….so there was nothing wrong with what he was doing…nothing wrong with getting stinking drunk in the middle of the day….nothing at all.
Well there was but…but he could worry about that later. Tomorrow. The next day. He'd look back on this day, the one before this, and the one before that…he'd reflect on all of this later. Right now…right now all he needed…all he wanted…
All he wanted was a drink.
Ritsu needed a drink.
He had never had a drink, an alcoholic drink, before in his life…
But he really wanted a drink.
"Rei….Ritsu….ok, just stay calm. You seem fine…just stay calm…ok? Just stay calm and we're going to…we're going to go to the hospital-" said Rei's mom. Ritsu had walked her home. He should have gone with his sister…but she had passed out and Teru had been carrying her and the whole thing just seemed so…not for him. Like it was a moment in a bubble and that if he tried to intrude the bubble would have broken. Shigeko…she was his sister and he loved her but…but she had Teru now and…and he had been a pretty piss poor little brother lately….and he should have stayed with her even if he had been…
But he hadn't.
He had wanted to stay with Sho. Sho who had been so mad…but not mad. No, not just mad. He had been mad and sad and worried and hurt…Ritsu was getting better at reading auras…or just reading him. Sho was his…Sho was his friend and…and he had never made such a fast friend before…and he should have been there for his friend but…
But Rei had needed him.
He owed her one. He owed her two. He owed her everything. She had been the one who had led them to safety. She had been the only one who could have saved them…led them through all of it…all of the things that Ritsu knows that he'll be seeing this in his dreams…his nightmares. Even now when he closed his eyes he saw it…and he didn't want to…and he should have done more…even though he had no idea what it was that he could have done…
"They don't look like they need a hospital. I think that it's their clothes…just their clothes…they're fine." Said Rei's dad. Rei's parents were freaking out…well it seemed like they were freaking out. He didn't know what to make of the fact that nobody was yelling. Mom and dad would have been yelling at each other so loud that the whole neighborhood could have heard…if they had been there. But they were safe in the mountains. They were far away and safe and he…he wasn't worried about them…
He wasn't worried about anything.
Because it was over. The whole thing, that whole terrible thing, was over. He had been preparing for it, worrying about it, and agonizing over it…and now it was all done. It was done and everyone was safe and he was at his girlfriend's house and he was safe and now adults were fussing over him and she wasn't stopping them…she was just holding his hand and…and all of that…
"Are you two hurt? Come on, say something. Anything." Said Rei's mom. Ritsu looked to Rei. She was just staring straight forward. They were on the couch, now, in the living room. She was looking at the TV. It was muted. The picture kept on breaking up into bars and pixels…broadcast. Right. The internet was down and the phones were down and everything was down. Heh. Maybe this was what life had been like in the old days…heh.
"Say something, stupid, Rei…you're so stupid…" said Rei's older sister. She was sitting on the chair, the comfy one by the plants, and she was on her phone even though it didn't work…well it did but there was no internet…and she looked pissed off…was that how older sisters were supposed to be? He couldn't imagine Shigeko being pissed off about anything….
But she had been.
He had caught sight of her, even made eye contact, for a moment when she had been in the middle of fighting Sho's dad. She had been so pissed off….and he knew that face…she had made that face back when they had been kids. Back when…when she had first lost control…and now he would be seeing that, too, when he closed his eyes…
He was so tired.
"Am not…" said Rei because she knew that she had to say something. She should have yelled at Riko, told her to shut her mouth, but she just didn't have the energy. She was tired. She wanted to go to sleep. She hadn't…she had no idea what had happened during the explosion and the aftermath…but she knew that she had not slept that night. Not if she was this tired.
She wanted to go to sleep.
She was home. He had come with her, Ritsu, and she was holding his hand. She wanted…she wanted to never let go of his hand. Ever. She had been apart from him, before, and she could have lost him…and she never wanted to be apart from him again. She never wanted to…to let go of him. She wanted to lay down in her bed and sleep…and she wanted him to be near her.
She loved him.
He had risked his life for her. If it hadn't been for him, if he hadn't been there to put up a shield to keep her safe…and if he hadn't been there to remind her that she…that she had someone there for her…if he hadn't been there then she had no idea if she could have been able to…to save them. To save herself. If he hadn't been there then she…she had no idea what she would have done.
She held his hand tighter.
She felt his aura touch hers.
She loved him.
She loved him so much….and this was what love was. Love wasn't getting all giggly when he texted her, love wasn't daydreaming about kissing him, and love wasn't…love wasn't thinking about all the stuff that came after that. Love was being willing to risk your life to save someone. Love was…
She loved him.
"You are too. You're an idiot. You went out during a terrorist attack and-and-and you're just so stupid!" said Riko. She got up, ran over to Rei, and punched her in the stomach before she ran through the room, up the stairs, and then the slamming of a door could be heard. Rei didn't mind. She had seen it coming. She had seen it coming but she hadn't stopped her. She could tell that they would make up. She could see that coming, too. She could see everything coming.
She could see the future spread out in front of her.
And it was wonderful.
"Riko! Get back….oh! I'll go after her!" said Rei's mom. Ritsu watched Rei for any sign of…of anything. Nothing. She just kept on sitting there and kept on holding his hand. She showed no sign of letting him go any time soon. Even though her hand was warm and sweaty. Even though they were both dirty and filthy and they probably smelled awful, too. Even though they both…they both needed a bath and a change of clothes and a rest…
He was so tired.
He was too tired to say anything, to do anything, to even keep his eyes opened. The walk to Rei's house had been a long one…and they had spent the night running for their lives…and he could not even remember the last thing that he had eaten….he was tired. She was so tired and he was so tired and they were so tired…
And he just wanted to go to sleep.
"I'm tired….I want to go to bed…" said Rei. She wanted to change her clothes and go back to her own bed in her own room…and she wanted Ritsu to be with her. She didn't ever want to be away from him ever again…even if it was over. She could…she could see the future. The explosion was gone and the future…there was so much of it…
And she wanted nothing more than to see it out with him.
But she didn't see…she could see a future where they…but they would. They would always be together. It was over and she was…she was so happy…and so tired. It was over and she could get back to normal or…or something close to it. She wanted to…she wanted to be with him…
But she couldn't.
Because she had to sleep in her own bed, her parents had said, and that was what she did. Even though it was in the middle of the day she went to sleep in her own bed in her own room…even if she was all alone…Ritsu had been tired, too, and her parents had made him a bed on the couch…away from her…but she didn't want to be away from him…but she had to be…even though she wanted nothing more than to be with him…but…
But at least it was over.