Chapter 39: She's Mine

"She's hiding." Derek sighed as he slouched over the nurses station. He saw the woman next to him slowly look up and give him a 'why the fuck are you talking to me about it' look "Meredith never hides, at least not from me. I don't know why."

"I don't know why either." Christina muttered "You're the one that married her."

"But you're her best friend."

"And you're her husband."

"She won't talk to me." He sighed "She's running, and I don't know why."

"Welcome to the world of marriage." She scoffed. Derek frowned and then let out a frustrated sigh. Christina seemed to feel a spark of sympathy, so she put her pen down and looked at him "Meredith runs when she's scared. Which isn't often. But she does run. However, she doesn't run far. Only long enough to figure out how to deal with what's going on, and then she runs back. So, be patient."

"Be patient."

Christina nodded, then grabbed her chart and turned to walk off.

"Dr. Shepherd?" an intern approached him "I have your test results."

"Test results?" Derek frowned "I didn't order test results."

"Oh." She frowned as she looked over the lab results "Oh no, this isn't for you it's on you."

"What?" Derek grabbed the paper "Who's running results on me…." His voice trailed off as he read the paper and gasped "Dr. Grey ran these results?"

"Oh god." The intern stuttered "Please don't tell her she'll kill me."

"You know what. I'm not all that much of a patient man."

The intern stood there trembling as he stormed off with the lab results paper in hand. He passed the OR board and was satisfied to see that she was in surgery. It was hard to run when you've got a patient's brain split open. He folded the paper and stuck it in his pocket as he entered the scrub room and grabbed a mask. He held it over his face as he entered the OR.

"Dr. Grey." He said, "A word please?"

"Derek I can't talk right now." She mumbled without giving him a glance "Little busy here."

"It's important."

"Of course it is." She muttered "How could I forget that the world fucking revolves around you and whatever issue you have going on. I'm in the middle of a man's brain right now and I'm trying like hell not to fuck it up! So, when I say not right now… I mean NOT RIGHT NOW!"

"Your lab results were delivered to me by mistake."

She stopped and looked blankly across the room. He could see her shoulders stiffen as she closed her eyes and let out a sigh.

"Dr. Peterson." She mumbled "Hold this retractor and suction, I'll be right back."

"Yes Dr. Grey."

Meredith handed it off to the resident and held her hands up in front of her, throwing Derek a sharp look before walking past him and through the automatic doors into the scrub room. She stopped after he'd entered the room and turned to face him as the doors closed in on them. His face was solemn as they stared at each other for a quiet uncomfortable minute.

"I know you're mad and you have a right to be."

"I am?" he frowned "I do?"

"I've been running and hiding and acting like a psychotic bitch, I know this. But I didn't even know or speculate until last night when I saw you two together. Shit, I didn't even remember us having sex that close to her conception. If I had any clue or reason to believe that she was ever yours I…"

"She is mine." Derek said softly.

"She is." Meredith choked.

Derek pulled the paper out of his pocket and held it up for her to see.

"99.9% mine."

"Oh god." She whispered "Derek I'm sorry. I'm…I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

"Because! I was a whore, and I didn't even stop to think about it until now. And I just gave her away so selfishly. If I had known, we could have had her. We wouldn't have missed out on nine years and I would be a decent mother by now. One whose daughter knows that I like her and I…I'm just, I'm sorry."

"Ok breathe." He said as he took a step towards her "First thing…I'm not mad."

"What." She scoffed "Why not?"

"I'm just as much to blame Mer." He sighed "I could have asked, I could have said something, but I didn't. I was just as clueless as you were. Secondly, she was with people that loved her for nine years. Though we can never get those years back, they weren't a total waste. And thirdly…she knows that you like her, but you might want to try a little harder in showing it. I know this is new, and you don't understand it yet. You've only been a mom for a day…hell I guess we're both going to be new at this."

"That's a very grown up thing to say."

"I try." He smiled.

"I'm sorry."

"So am I." he smiled "Hold up your hands."

"Ok." She frowned and held her hands up above the sides of her head "Why?"

"Because." He smiled as he stepped forward and lowered her mask "I want to kiss the mother of my child."

She moaned as he softly captured her lips into his. Being careful not to compromise her sterile state but physically sharing his joy and happiness with her. He stepped back with a satisfied smile and pulled her mask up over her mouth.

"You're really not mad?"

"No." he smiled "I'm not mad."

"Damn." She smirked, "I was kind of hoping we could have some hot nasty make up sex later."

"In that case, I'm furious."