Carth Onasi Comes Home ch73
Revan
Awakening was not much different then crashing into a body of freezing water. Revan sat up from the thin bedroll with a gasp that left her throat raw. Mind swirling with a deluge of emotions she could not properly process. The jacket that had been carefully draped over her slithered into her lap. She took a handful of the garment as if it were a lifeline. The only anchor keeping her from sliding helplessly back into that crumbling vision Revan only narrowly escaped.
Her sudden, and loud, revival had the additional effect of waking Carth. Perhaps the last person Revan expected on an Alderaan mountaintop. But she had not expected any company on this trip and the fright of Carth's startled shout elicited a shriek from Revan. Heart jamming her throat the sound was abruptly cut off. A sudden flood of adrenaline leaving her both shaking and exhausted.
"You! Hairless wookie!"
The insult was wheezed, and only half-hearted. Carth did not seem offended. In fact, quite the opposite given Revan found herself being dragged into his powerful embrace.
"Thank the stars," he murmured into her unbound hair. Revan melted into his arms and Carth hugged her tighter. Heart still hammering within her breast she reached her arms around his chest. Reassuring herself he was actually there. Clearly Bastila either failed to convince him to go home or conspired with Carth to send him here. Revan couldn't imagine what he had gone through to make his way up the mountain so quickly. Several moments passed before Revan could take notice of the surroundings. It was dark, but warm. She had the sense of being enclosed and realized there was now a tent. Untangling herself from Carth she leaned back to peer at him in the shadows.
"Did you - ? And a tent? Carth…"
The questions came half-formed and in a tumbling rush. Carth removed one hand from her waist and there was a moment of fumbling then a weak glow filled the space. Soft light from an overhead lantern built into the shelters ribs. Two bedrolls were laid out side by side and her pack stored near the door along with the slim black case Revan came up here to open. It was closed and she suspected the mask lay nestled within once more.
In the low light Carth scooped her hands into his own. Drawing them against his chest and he stared into her eyes with an intensity that made Revan blush. She felt the heat rise on her cheeks and hoped it was too dark for him to see it.
"You should never have come here alone. And I was being too hard-headed to stop it in time," Carth began. Revan drew a breath to argue but he shook his head. Slipping one hand to lay a finger on her lips. "You have to promise me you won't ever lash out at Dustil like that again."
She blinked in surprise and realized she had no right to be. Embarrassed by Carth's reminder of that terrible moment but deservedly so too. Silently she nodded in agreement. It horrified Revan to think it could ever happen again. And in the same moment knew it would not.
"It won't. You have my promise," Revan added very softly. Carth quickly pulled her into another crushing hug. There was relief in the gesture and Revan buried her face into his shoulder. He soundly kissed her hair. Then again, and a third time and finally turned and twisted until Carth was kissing her mouth.
Revan was timid in returning those kisses. But he was insistent and she was quickly convinced. Carth's hands were set to roaming. It was not entirely about passion the woman realized. He was feeling her as if checking her for injuries. After a few moments Revan broke off laughing.
"Carth. I'm fine, really," she insisted. Now he appeared sheepish as Revan toon his wrists and pulled his hands away from more ticklish places. Holding his hands in her lap she laced their fingers together. She nodded to indicate the shelter around them. "How did you get up here? With all this too?"
"Bastila helped. Tarrick provided the gear. And the kybuck," he said, a sigh after that.
Revan looked at him weirdly. Then she went to her knees and leaned over, reaching for the door to the shelter. Cold air came rushing in as she opened it. Ignoring the chill she leaned a little further out. The campfire was low, mere embers now. Using the Force Revan peered into the shadows and found what she was looking for. There was indeed a kybuck. Reins tied haphazardly on a nearby branch, it dozed on its feet.
That was how Carth made it up the mountain so quickly and with all the extra gear. Revan returned inside and quickly zipped the shelter closed again. She settled back, facing Carth, not saying a thing but unable to hide the amusement from her face.
"We can discuss it later," Carth told her in a tone that made it clear he did not want to ever discuss the matter. Wisely Revan decided not to pursue things. Settling instead for a kiss on his cheek. As her lips brushed across his stubble he asked with some hesitation, "Are you okay? Did it … you know, work?"
Revan nodded as she momentarily found herself without the words to reply. Much had happened up here. A great number of things finally revealed for Revan. An entire life the Jedi Council once tried to erase now remembered.
Reaching across the gap she took Carth's hands. Lacing their fingers together to squeeze him tightly. Silent plea to give her a little time to organize her thoughts. He gave it freely. Kissing the back of one of her hands with a small smile as he waited.
Following that silence she asked idly, "How are the others?"
"They were a little disoriented by whatever happened to you," Carth replied. Worry behind his dark eyes as he explained the reactions. And something else, something he wasn't saying Revan felt. For the time she would not pry.
"I was disoriented myself. The masters did a pretty thorough job sealing off my memories," Revan admitted. She shrugged to see Carth glower at the admiration in those words. "They were doing what they thought best."
"Admittedly, I have a hard time seeing you being a cooperative prisoner," Carth commented in an attempt to lighten the mood.
"Except for Emperor Vitiate," she said, unable to hide the misery of that fact. Carth tensed and Revan patted his knee. "No. It's okay. I remember now. And I know… I can't defeat him."
Nervously Carth spoke up to ask, "Does this mean you're coming home?"
Revan nodded. One hand going to her stomach in silent reference to their baby. Then she nodded again while explaining, "I have no wish to throw my life away on a fruitless endeavor. Doesn't mean I'm giving up yet. I remember the coordinates for Imperial space and a lot more information about Dromund Kaas."
"Maybe I could get the Fleet admirals together. The supreme commander too," Carth offered for which Revan smiled brightly. She did not add her own hesitation that these men and women might not be happy to talk to her. The Republic was still licking its wounds from the previous war. Even if they agreed to meet with Revan they might not act seriously on the information. Apparently thinking the same thing Carth ventured another suggestion, "There's the Senate Library. They have an information service - more decryption then actual espionage. Although they perform some monitoring too."
"Sounds perfect," Revan assured him.
"Before we get some sleep - I need to ask. The baby?"
"Fine. She is just fine."
Carth went still and she could tell he was processing those words. Then his face brightened in a way Revan found endearing. She nodded while smiling to confirm what he heard was accurate.
"A daughter?"
"I can feel her more now, there were more visions too," Revan admitted. There had indeed been more visions. A lot for her to unpack stil but it wasn't going to be accomplished without some quiet reflection.
Carth was hugging her. Pulling her back down onto the thin bedrolls with him. She went willing. Laying beside Carth and it remarkably felt like the old days. A deep sense of contentment warming Revan far more than the portable heater ever could. She listened to Carth as he shared his excitement over the news. Even going so far as to suggest a few names before he gradually drifted off.
Hours later Carth made a small noise from the depths of slumber and shifted slightly. Nestled into his larger frame, head pillowed on his chest, she listened to his slow deep breaths and the methodical rhythm of his heart.
The stillness allowed Revan to think. To process what Alek showed her and the decisions she made because of it. Waking to find herself nestled in a tent with Carth had not been in the plans. Welcome as it was Revan wondered if this meant things between were better, or if he was acting on some sense of responsibility towards his unborn child. Yet he offered to help her. To gather those leaders of the Republic who could best disseminate information she could provide about their unknown enemy. Perhaps Bastila might help by reaching out -
Revan huffed. She could feel that familiar obsession lurking in the shadow of her thoughts. Old habits did indeed die hard. And Alek's words echoed in her mind. Violently she shivered, despite the warmth in the tent. The idea of spending the remainder of her life as a desperate ghost haunting the outer rim too real for comfort.
Gently the woman untangled herself from Carth. Revan opened the door to the shelter as quietly as she could. Pausing when Carth loudly snorted. She remained frozen while he gradually drifted into sleep again. On a whim she grabbed the case and ventured into the chilly pre-dawn air.
Carth Onasi
Though he woke alone, sunlight streaming in through the open flap of the shelter, Carth felt a greater sense of hope then he had in a long time. Revan was his again. Well more aptly, she was herself again. Made whole again by the Force. He did however wonder why such a thing could not have happened sooner. But Carth learned better than to dwell on what-ifs.
He sat up, wincing at the resounding pop of a few unhappy joints. Age, exertion, cold weather - they played havoc with the body. Carth stretched his muscles out. Large yawn following behind a languid stretch. When he had some feeling back in his extremities the man went to one knee before popping his head outside.
The morning air was decidedly unpleasant. Loathe to venture outside Carth almost returned to the warmth of the shelter when he spotted Revan. Standing atop a granite formation that overlooked a valley she appeared to be in deep thought. Quickly he weighed the options. Stay inside the warmth and let Revan have space to think. Or join her, even if neither spoke a word, to make it clear she was not alone.
Carth grabbed his jacket as he emerged from the tent. It wasn't much against the mountain chill but better than nothing. After all, it had served him well for a number of years now. He ambled across the camp. Eyeing the kybuck as it stood dozing on one large hoof. Having all but forgotten it was the ride back down Carth suddenly felt the cold wasn't so terrible.
Hearing his approach Revan looked over her shoulder. He saw as she turned the mask was held in her hands. There was a moment where Carth felt something deeper in response to the sight of it. Perhaps it was the conflict of Revan's dual personalities. The savior and the defiler. Jedi paragon and Sith warlord.
Yet it was not Revan he saw that way. And Carth felt a touch of ridiculousness for being wary over an inanimate object.
"Planning on throwing it over the edge?" Carth asked while he pulled himself to the uppermost rock. Revan laughed softly. She stepped aside to make room and he joined her. Impulsively Carth tapped his finger on the mask. "Maybe we keep it? Something to hand down to our daughter?"
Revan tilted her head and appeared to think on this suggestion. For himself, he wasn't entirely sure if he meant it or had only been joking. Once said Carth had to admit he liked the idea. In the way he would eventually pass down the Onasi family blaster to Dustil, this mask would be her legacy. And he knew better then anyone Revan did not have much in the way of mementos. And nothing that might be considered a family heirloom.
Draping an arm about her shoulders Carth pulled her closer. He found himself looking back down at the mask once again. Beside him Revan quietly said, "Alek begged me to give up you know? And we could have. Left Dromund Kaas, given loads of information to the Jedi and the Senate. But I couldn't. I had to protect the Republic. I knew no one else could kill that old monster…. guess I couldn't either."
Carth was unsure of what to say so he remained silent. Giving Revan a tender kiss at her brow to encourage her to continue. She spoke of her pride and how it had been her downfall. How she had broken free of the emperors control. Of the visions she experienced the night before. And Carth listened to it all without interrupting. At times Revan's words were thick with emotion. Others disjointed, slightly rambling.
It was the infection pouring from a wound too long infected. Healing could not begin unless it was excised. Carth knew the road ahead would not necessarily be smooth. Revan would struggle but she would not do so alone.
"Letting go of it? I don't know. Last night I found myself coming up with schemes to get back into the emperors palace," Revan said with no small measure of worry in her voice. Carth had always found the way her brow creased when she was concerned adorable. He refrained from saying that however. Resisted the urge to kiss that little furrow too. She sighed and her shoulders dropped with an air of defeat. "I want to be more than this - "
She gave the mask a frustrated shake.
"And I don't know how."
Those words struck Carth deeply. He had been there after all and understood how Revan could not fathom moving on. An angry widower driven by a need for revenge, willing to throw his life away if came to that. Now he did kiss her. Tenderly pressing his lips to her temple.
"You showed me how gorgeous. It's my turn to repay that debt," he murmured.
"Oh Carth. All I've put you through? I really don't deserve you," she sighed and leaned into him.
He laughed heartily and teased, "Maybe, maybe not. But who else in the galaxy can keep me on my toes the way you do?"
After a pause Revan looked up and asked him, "Are you ready to go home Admiral?"
He shrugged, stomped his boots trying to get some feeling back into his toes and said, "It is unnaturally cold up here. And there's a ridiculously lavish palace down there with some very comfortable beds darling."
As Revan turned back towards the camp, intending to put away the mask before climbing down, Carth caught her arm. He bestowed another kiss on her. This one on her lips then said, "You are my home Revan. No matter where we are in the galaxy, with you it's home."