A/N: Just wanted to briefly say that I was so nervous about the last chapter, and then when I read the reviews today... I don't know how I got so lucky with all of you haha, but, again, thank you! Also, just thanks to all of you who are still reading this for being amazing and hanging with me, whenever you joined in, as this series officially enters year 10 of it's existence! :) Also, side note, I discovered that "Jewsi" (one of the wee Jedi who I thought had a canon name, along with Shia, Sors and Zett) is actually, per wookieepedia supposed to be "Jeswi" which is a much prettier name. However she is very much "Jewsi" in my head. I'm pretty sure if I try to change it now, we're just going to end up with a lot of typos. So, uh, sorry to any Jeswi -lovers out there but she's still going to be Jewsi here? (Honestly, I switch my letters all the time-it's pretty much a miracle this hasn't happened sooner... usually spellcheck saves me, ha!) Anyway, hope you enjoy the chapter and thanks again for sticking with me and being wonderful :) Happy 2020, guys!

To Change the Galaxy

Chapter 37: Avoidance

I must have fallen asleep at some point because I woke to find myself curled up in the center of the bed with the covers balled up in front of the fresher door. Groaning, I reached up to scrub at the gunk gluing my eyes shut. Then, I blinked in the direction I thought the ceiling would be if the room wasn't pitch black.

Maybe I should just roll over and go back to sleep. Or turn on the glowrod and count all the places the walls and ceiling had been soldered together. Or anything that would give me an excuse not to leave this room until Saché arrived to whisk me off to—well. Anywhere other than here sounded pretty good at the moment.

For a long moment, I considered my options. My stomach growled at me. I did my best to ignore it and go back to dreaming up ways to pass the time in my room.

In the end, though, I barely lasted four hours before my stomach's demands overrode my desire to never leave the dumb dorm room again.

Mentally cursing my empty stomach, I crept down the corridors of the freighter, only reluctantly flicking my glowrod on after I ran into two separate walls and almost toppled over. The only thing worse than running into someone, would be someone running into me while I tried to lever myself off the floor.

One turn away from the galley, I put my hand on the wall, clicked my glowrod off and listened hard. Hearing nothing, I used the wall for support and crept around the corner. The shadows were lighter in front of the door to the galley. I froze. Inwardly, I swore. For a moment, I stayed frozen. Then, my stomach grumbled.

Loudly.

Inside the galley, someone snorted. My heart sped up as I attempted to back pedal at limited speed with limited success.

"It's just me, Sabé. You can come in and get something to eat." Anakin, the little snot, had the gall to sound amused.

I straightened up to my full, if still somewhat unimpressive, height and strode forward into the galley as regally as I could. "I'm starving. Of course I'm coming in to get something to eat."

"Uh-huh." Anakin popped a tart into his mouth as he stared at me from where he sat at the table

It didn't look like he believed me. I narrowed my eyes at him. It didn't matter. Whatever. He didn't have to believe me. I just needed to eat.

With that in mind, I briskly made my way over to a cupboard and used my glowrod to illuminate my choices. They weren't that amazing. My stomach rumbled again. I grabbed three different boxes, which was as many as I could hold in one arm without risking losing my balance, and staggered over to the table.

I dropped my boxes in the middle of it and then, as pointedly as I could, sat right across from Anakin. I gave him another dirty look as I jammed a cracker in my mouth and began to chew angrily in his direction. With both of our glowrods on, the room was bright enough that he should be able to read my face well enough to know that he should leave me alone.

Who was he not to believe me anyway? What had Obi-Wan told him? Had they been pitying me and laughing at me behind my back? Oh, poor stupid Sabé, who fell in love with someone who could never love her back? Because I wasn't stupid! I hadn't asked Obi-Wan for anything. He'd been the one to press the issue! He was the stupid one! Only an idiot would feel the need to reject someone who hadn't asked for anything.

I shoved another handful of crackers into my mouth.

"Obi-Wan's in the engine room," Anakin announced.

I swallowed hard and scowled at him even harder. "So what?" He'd better get the hint and shut up.

"So, he was asleep when I woke up and then kicked me out of the engine room once he was awake. He hates the engine room."

I resisted the urge to grab my boxes of food and leave the galley. Instead, I did my best to intensify my glare even further.

Anakin kept talking. "All he would tell me is that he thought it would be for the best if he was somewhere you were unlikely to run into him. He was very quiet this morning."

"Is there a point to this?" I demanded. How could Anakin possibly be this terrible at reading nonverbal cues? "Or do you just not believe in letting a person enjoy a meal in silence?"

"The point is that I don't know what happened between you two, so you can stop glaring at me."

I glared at him anyway. He scowled back, looking annoyed and, also, confused. Anakin really didn't know. I fished a handful of dried fruit from one of my boxes, letting my glare soften a little as tension bled from my shoulders and back.

"Nothing happened," I lied as convincingly as I could. If Anakin didn't know, I certainly wasn't going to tell him.

Anakin gave me an annoyingly scrutinizing look. I stuffed the dried fruit into my mouth and narrowed my eyes at him again.

"Obi-Wan loves me. Did you know that? He thinks of me like a brother," Anakin said calmly, like he hadn't just jabbed me with an invisible lightsaber.

"Really, Anakin?" I snapped. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"You're not surprised," Anakin said instead of dropping the subject or explaining himself like any sane person would have.

"Of course I'm not surprised! Obviously, Obi-Wan loves you—why are we talking about this?"

"I was surprised. When Obi-Wan finally admitted it. He only told me because I was on the verge of falling. I don't think he ever would have said it otherwise. And before he told me, I had no idea."

"Then you're an idiot. He helped raise you. And have you heard the way he worries over you? Or how stubbornly he sticks up for you? And how he looks out for you? Or—really, have you paid any attention to your interactions at all?"

"Obi-Wan's a Jedi and Jedi aren't supposed to have attachments," Anakin said a little sharply. "I was his padawan. I thought he looked after me because it was his duty. I never imagined it was because he loved me."

Something stirred in the back of my head but I squashed it. Anakin's situation and mine weren't the same at all.

"Well, I'm glad you got that sorted out. Now, will you let me eat in peace?"

Anakin stared at me. In the light of the glowrods, he looked hurt.

Oh no. I slumped deep against my chair, my anger dissipating as abruptly as it arrived. What was wrong with me?

"I'm sorry, Anakin. That wasn't fair of me. I'm not very happy with Obi-Wan right now, as you guessed. Do you think we could maybe hold off on this conversation for a little bit? I'm not really in the right frame of mind to do anyone any good. Especially not if we're talking about Obi-Wan."

"I see that," Anakin said stiffly. He climbed to his feet.

Oh no.

"Anakin, really, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken any of this out on you. None of this is your fault."

"I know that." Anakin crossed his arms over his chest and gave me a very pointed look as he continued to stand over me and the table. "Obi-Wan seems to think it's his fault. He didn't actually tell me that, but why else would he be hiding in the engine room?"

Something curdled in my gut which wasn't fair. Because it was his fault. It was absolutely his fault. I had very purposefully not told him my feelings—I had very purposefully tried not to make things difficult or uncomfortable for us. Ignoring what I felt for him had worked beautifully for years—and would have continued to work beautifully. He had ruined everything by acknowledging what I felt. And then having the nerve to try and make a joke out of it. And yet—no. No, he was definitely in the wrong here. I knew he had nothing to give me. I had never expected anything. He didn't have to go and rub salt in the wound by acknowledging what I felt and then smiling about it.

"Sabé, the point I'm trying to make is that Obi-Wan is terrible at talking about his feelings. And I don't know what happened between the two of you but you need to talk to him about it."

"Yeah, no. Definitely not going to do that."

"Sabé," Anakin huffed. "You're important to him and, whatever happened, he feels terrible about it and is completely convinced you don't want to speak to him."

"He's right—I don't want to talk to him." I tried to squash the small, squirming guilt trying to rise at the thought of Obi-Wan feeling awful about our conversation. After all, he should feel terrible.

"Look, I don't know what he did, but you have to talk to him about it."

I crossed my arms over my chest and scowled at Anakin, not dignifying his request with a response. There was no way I was talking to Obi-Wan. Not even over my dead body.

"Obi-Wan's gonna kill me for this," he muttered. Then he set his jaw and continued, "Sabé, when we were on the front, Obi-Wan listened to your comm messages almost every day, even when it meant replaying old ones for the hundredth time. And everyone always knew when he had a new message from you because he would immediately be in a better mood. Once, you joked about maybe trying to visit us at the Temple when we got back to Coruscant so Obi-Wan put you on the approved visitors list for the Temple, just in case you decided to actually go. You were always the first person he saw when he returned. A couple of times, I think he even saw you before he saw the council. You're important to him, Sabé—I think you're even more important to him than he wants to admit. He's also a self-sacrificing idiot, so if he thinks you don't want to talk to him, he's won't talk to you. So you have to approach him."

"Why do you people keep doing this to me?" I burst, my hands flying into the air of their own accord. "It's not nice!"

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm important to him? More than he'll admit? He's a Jedi, Anakin! He can't have attachments—especially not romantic ones! Why do you people insist on telling me all these things that sound like they should mean something but don't? It's cruel!"

"Whoa, Sabé." Anakin sat back down across from me, eyes the size of saucers, "I didn't mean—"

"I was managing just fine!" I slammed my hands on the table for emphasis, my heart beating wildly in my chest. "I know all he can offer me is friendship, okay? I understand! I've accepted that! It's not my fault I'm still—stop rubbing it in, is all I'm saying!"

"Sabé—"

"Don't you 'Sabé' me, Anakin! You and Padmé may have gotten married but I'm not dumb enough to think it's the same with Obi-Wan. And I did my part—I never bring up my feelings or mention it or ask for anything! I am respectful of his beliefs. The least the two of you can do is show me the same respect in return! I am not asking for anything outrageous here. Just common decency, for the love of the stars!"

"Sabé, he's—"

"No, Anakin! Common decency! I'm asking for some common decency, okay? I know it's ridiculous that I'm in love with Obi-Wan but that doesn't mean you get to tease me for it. It may seem funny to you but this is not some kind of joke to me!"

"Sabé, I would never dream of teasing you or treating this like a joke." Obi-Wan's voice cut through the air like a knife.

All the blood rushed from my face. The world wobbled around me.

In the chair across from me, Anakin was wide eyed and dumbfounded. His hands fluttered up into the air and then back down again as his gaze flitted back and forth between me and—there was not enough air in this ship. Was the emergency generator failing?

"I tried to tell you?" Anakin sounded like he was a million light years away.

"Should've tried harder." My lips were numb.

I kept staring at Anakin. Maybe this was all just some terrible dream. Maybe this wasn't really happening. Maybe, if I kept staring at Anakin, Obi-Wan wouldn't actually be here and he never would have heard me say anything.

"Uh, Sabé?" Anakin's voice echoed oddly. "You need to breathe."

Breathe? Oh! I took a shuddery breath and held it for two seconds before letting it out again. Then I did it again. And again.

"Any reason you're here, Master, or…?" Anakin asked someone behind me and to my right.

"We were hailed by three ships," Obi-Wan answered. "One of them appears to be Saché's but I did not recognize the other two and we hadn't expected anyone to arrive for at least another hour. Sabé, please—"

"Saché?" I interrupted, clinging desperately to that possible escape route. "Saché's here?" I asked Anakin.

Anakin looked over my shoulder again.

"I certainly hope so," Obi-Wan answered. "I came here to ask you to you use the SecNaLink to confirm her identity before we allow anyone to board. Sabé, won't you at least look at—"'

"I can check if it's Saché." Yané's communication device was in the cockpit. Which meant it was not here. And I very much needed to be not here. With my eyes still on Anakin, who was looking increasingly uncomfortable, I blindly reached to the side with one arm and felt along the table for my cane.

"Sabé, please, will you—"

But before Obi-Wan could finish, the table shook violently as the whole galley seemed to shudder.

"Whoever's in the ships—they've docked," Anakin announced.

"That sounds like something that needs to be dealt with. Immediately." Relief coursed through my veins. A giddy laugh bubbled up—my mouth clicked shut in an attempt to stop it from escaping.

"She's right. Come on, Obi-Wan." Anakin stood up and, as he walked away from the table, I kept my gaze on his now empty chair. "Let's see who's here."

I listened hard for the footsteps that would let me know it was okay to turn around. Hearing nothing, I leaned back in my chair as subtly as I could, straining to hear them leave. After a long moment, there was the rustle of fabric and then shoes on the ground.

Then Obi-Wan was not gone but standing directly in front of me, his eyes locked on mine and his face grave.

This was not happening. This could not possibly be—I whipped my head around, my eyes darting until—I snatched up my cane and jumped to my feet, swearing loudly when my leg made its displeasure known at the sudden movement.

"Sabé, wait," Obi-Wan began, an edge to his voice that I purposefully didn't think about. "Let me apologize. I never meant—"

I had already spun around and was heading for the exit as quickly as I could. "Oh, look at the time," All of my attention was focused on making my escape as fast as possible. And as long as words were coming out of my mouth, Obi-Wan couldn't say anything, which was exactly what I needed. "And the way the ship shook—gotta go make sure we aren't being invaded by Imperials, you know. It's a real and present danger and if it is Saché it really would be best if she had a friendly face to greet her so I'm going to—" I was two steps away from the corridor.

Anakin snagged my arm and pulled me to a stop. "You are going to stay out of the way. Obi-Wan and I are going to see who boarded. Obi-Wan will not talk to you until we are sure we are not being invaded. Right, Obi-Wan?" Anakin said pointedly.

There was a moment of silence. I tugged on my arm, trying to free it from Anakin's grasp. But Anakin just tightened his hold and looked away from Obi-Wan long enough to frown at me.

"Of course," Obi-Wan said after what felt like a lifetime.

"So you'll stay put, right, Sabé?" Anakin gave my arm a gentle shake.

I glowered at him.

"Right?" he repeated.

"Yeah, fine, right. Just go already then." I gave my arm a final tug and Anakin let go of it.

"Go back to the table," Anakin ordered me. "Obi-Wan? We're leaving. Now."

I kept my eyes fastened to the floor as I reluctantly made my way back to the table. I was over halfway there when practical boots and brown robes walked past me.

I made myself keep putting one foot in front of another. Finally, I reached the chair and collapsed back inside it.

I chanced a look around the galley. It was empty. Thank the stars.

Maybe, I thought as I carefully crossed my arms across the table, we actually had been boarded by Imperials. Maybe, we would be arrested and put into solitary confinement and I would never have to face Obi-Wan ever again.

That actually sounded like a decently happy outcome to this situation. Which was probably a problem.

Groaning, I let my head fall to the table and buried it in my arms.

I needed a new life. This one was clearly not working out for me.

Expected Update Time: Before Jan 27th hopefully; definitely before Feb 17th