Chapter 52.

The stew was cooking and the smell was filling the warm kitchen. Cas was sitting at the table with Jack and Sarah. It felt so easy and peaceful and right to be with them. Jack was showing Sarah a picture of his mother that Sam had printed for him, a screenshot from the video she had made for him. Cas hadn't known that he was carrying it with him. Seeing it made him happy. He had always hoped that Jack would love his mother, even if he could not know her.

"She had such a sweet smile." said Sarah, "You look a lot like her, Jack."

"Do you think she was beautiful?" said Jack, "I think she was."

"Oh yes, my dear, she was very beautiful and from what Castiel has told me, she was brave and loving and kind too."

"Yes." said Jack, "Before I was born, I could feel all of that. She loved me. Even when everyone told her I was evil, she saw only good."

Sarah patted his hand. "Nobody sees as clearly as a mother. There is only good in you, Jack." She looked at the photograph again. "I know I would have liked Kelly Kline. I know she would be very proud of her son."

"She would." said Cas, "She always believed in him and it would make her so happy to see how right she was."

"We wanted to ask you, Jack." she said, "I like to celebrate birthdays, but I know yours is also the day she died. It may be that you don't want to celebrate on that day."

"Would it be wrong?" said Jack, looking concerned.

"No," said Cas, "This is not a judgement issue, this is about your feelings and we cannot know what those are. Whatever feels right to you, is right."

"You might want to choose another day that's significant to you, or you might feel you want to celebrate that day and also commemorate your mother." said Sarah, "We just want to know what you want and you don't have to decide now."

"That day is the day I was born. Her last thoughts were of joy and her love for me. The loss of her was hard and I miss her, but I think she would want me to celebrate on that day. She gave her life for me, the greatest act of love there is. I also want to remember her sacrifice."

"Then we'll celebrate both of you." said Sarah.

"Does Dean have a birthday?" said Jack, "I mean, everyone does, don't they? So Dean must."

"We'll be celebrating his in January." said Sarah, "Don't tell him that, because we need to spring it on him."

"He doesn't know it's his birthday?" said Jack.

"He doesn't think anyone cares about it." she said.

Cas thought that Dean was fairly likely to leave instantly if he suspected he might become the centre of attention, but he didn't say so. As with the promises of a road trip, the planned parties depended on there being a time of peace and inactivity, and such times were very rare for the Winchesters. Planning the celebrations gave her joy, as planning a road trip gave Dean hope and he was reluctant to rob either by reminding his friends of the harsh realities.

"You're quiet." said Sarah to Cas.

"Yes, usually." he said.

At the same moment, both he and Jack sat up straight, having heard the familiar sound of the Impala. "They're back." said Jack, hurrying to get to the door and open it.

Sam and Dean came in.

Dean sniffed the air. "Oh, that smells good! Sam and I will get the tyres done and then ... "

"Sam's tired." said Cas, "I'll help you in a minute."

"You?" said Dean.

Cas tried not to show how the single syllable offended him. "I can change tyres." he said.

"Okay." said Dean, "I'll wait for you outside."

"Good." said Cas. When Dean had gone, he said to Sam, "I have to tell him about what happened."

"What happened?" said Sam.

"That I knew his thoughts." said Cas, "How can I put that without it making him angry?"

Sam smiled. "You don't have to, Cas, I told him about it. He wasn't angry, just a little uneasy."

Cas felt a moment of panic. "You told him? Just now, on your way here?"

"No, last night, when we talked in his room." said Sam.

"He's known this whole time?" said Cas.

"Yes, he has." said Sam, "And he's not angry. Is that what's been bothering you? I'm sorry I told him. I didn't know you wanted to keep it a secret."

Sarah smiled. "Sounds like you had nothing to worry about."

"I'll still worry, if you don't mind." said Cas, "I still have to talk to him about it."

"Yes," said Sam, "You two should talk."