A/N: Next chapter we celebrate 69420 words (this is excluding the A/Ns)
Mario didn't know what to do anymore. Being single when you were in love with someone who didn't return your feelings was hard.
The Italian plumber had only heard rumors about Tinder, not many people in the area used it as far as Mario was aware. But it was worth a shot, Mario just wanted to go on one date. He hadn't been on one in ages and there were little kids who had a better love life than him. Villager was even engaged, a fucking psychopathic killer had a better love life than the greatest Nintendo character of all time.
Mario took his crappy phone out of his pocket and downloaded Tinder. He created his profile and waited. But nothing ever came. Were there no girls who used Tinder in the area?
"Luigi, I can't-a get this stupid-a app to-a work!" Mario complained as he stood up and walked towards his brother, "Why are no-a girls appearing on-a Tinder?"
"What do you want-a me to do about-a it?" the younger Italian replied, "Only-a Bowser uses-a dating apps."
"Mamma mia, I can't-a believe I have to ask-a Bowser for-a help."
"Mario needs my help?" Bowser asked, "This is going to be interesting."
"How do I get-a Tinder to work?"
"Oh, no one uses that app here. I'm the only person on it in the area."
Mario was pissed. Nothing in his life ever went right. This was supposed to be his one chance to get a date. Mario really wished his past-self hadn't broken up with Pauline. He couldn't even remember why they broke up but they were still friends.
"Luigi, why is my love-a life-a the worst?"
"I don't-a know-a Mario. Look around at all-a the couples-a here and try to figure-a out what-a they did-a right."
"Hm..."
"Well?"
"They aren't-a doing anything-a right!"
"Exactly, you can't-a do anything-a Mario. Just-a face it, I'm-a better than-a you at-a something!"
"Wait, what?"