Chapter 64.
Cas felt completely ridiculous in the outfit Sarah had given him. The dark blue jeans felt tighter than his usual clothing. The black and white plaid shirt seemed far too likely to attract attention. The boots had more of a heel than he was accustomed to and he had felt a lot happier in the hat when only Dean had been around to see him in it.
He looked at the coat hanging nearby. It was a much better choice. Everyone knew it, so it would not draw anyone's notice. He had only considered wearing something else because Dean wanted him to and he knew Dean would be the first to laugh if he looked stupid. He went over to the coat and reached out to take it. As he touched it, Jules knocked on the door and said, "Are you ready, Cas?"
"No." he said, "I need to change."
"Into the things Sarah gave you?" she said.
"No, into proper clothing." he said.
She opened the door. "You agreed to let me see first."
He stood in front of her, waiting for the laughter.
"Wow." she said.
"I know." he said, "I look ... "
"You look great." she said. She undid the cuff on his right sleeve and rolled it up a couple of inches, then did the same with the left. She ran her hand along his forearm and smiled. "I never noticed before, you have some well-toned arms."
"I ... " He gave up. He had no idea how to respond to that.
She took off the hat. He thought she was about to put it aside, but instead, she merely replaced it at a different angle. "The black hat makes your eyes seem more blue." she said.
"Oh." he said, "Is that good?"
"Yes, that's good, Cas." she said.
"I thought, maybe the coat." he said, looking over to it.
"No," she said, "Not the coat."
"You said you liked the coat." he said.
"I do like the coat, but for the party, this is better." she said. One button of the shirt was already undone. She undid the next one down.
"Are you sure?" he said.
"You never ask me that about magic or hunting." she said. She adjusted his collar. "Look in the mirror." she said. Turning him with a hand on his shoulder.
He went over to look. He looked very different. "Is Dean back yet?" he said.
"You trust his opinion more than mine?" she said, sounding upset.
"No." he said.
She looked at him for a moment. He felt bad. She was trying to help and now he had offended her.
He looked in the mirror again. Then he worried that turning away from her might be seen as hostility or rejection. He turned back, trying to think of something to say.
Jules came over to stand in front of him. "This isn't a test, Cas. This isn't something you pass or fail. You're going to a party. It'll be fun. You look great. You look amazing. I know it's not easy to try something new, but you're rocking that look. If you need Dean to approve it, we can wait here until he gets home."
"I just know that if I look stupid, Dean will laugh at me." he said.
"You don't look stupid." she said, "You look hot."
"I do?" he said.
"Cas, you're the best looking man in a bunker that has Sam and Dean Winchester in it."
He was surprised. Nobody had said that to him before. "Is it the hat?" he said. Dean had said that chicks liked them.
"No. It's not the hat, Cas. It's the hair under the hat. It's those incredible blue eyes and the smile that makes all hearts melt and the toned arms and the strong chest and the well-shaped legs and that perfect ass that usually gets hidden by the coat." She smiled nervously. "I probably shouldn't have said any of that."
"It was all very kind." said Cas.
"Now you're terrified." she said, "That's precisely what I wanted to avoid."
"No, I was always terrified." said Cas, "Now I'm terrified and confused."
"What's confusing you?" she said.
"Women like Dean." he said, "I mean, they really like him."
"Yes, wherever he goes."
"You've met Dean." he said.
"Yes, I have."
"But you say I'm better looking."
"You're a lot more my type." she said. She smiled at him. "There's no need to worry. I know you're not attracted to me. I won't start stalking you. We're just friends. I just happen to be a friend who thinks you are a great looking guy."
"Why do you say I'm not attracted to you?" he said.
"The panic in your eyes." said Jules.
"The panic is fairly standard fear of being expected to interact with people who may not understand me as well as Sam and Dean do." he said.
"Oh." she said.
"Obviously, I know you're not interested in me."
"Why's that?" she said.
"Well, you're a human and a hunter and you're funny and clever and you could just take your pick from this world's men and they'd be grateful that you even saw them."
"Wow." she said.
"Yes, I notice these things."
"You're an angel."
"I noticed that, too." he said.
"You really think you're less than human?"
"Of course." he said.
"Well, I don't. I really like you. I don't want to put any pressure on you, especially today, but I want to give you three pieces of advice that will help you a lot. First, never think you are less than anybody else. You're not. You're better. Second, don't think people don't like you, just because they don't know how to tell you."
"And third?" he said, when she had not said anything for an uncomfortably long time.
She straightened his left sleeve. "Third, never, ever, doubt Sarah's advice. What you're wearing is so exactly right for you."