Empty
"I think I'm gonna go lie down." Jude nodded, pulling away from her mother's embrace. For half an hour she had just sat crying in her arms. AJ didn't ask her questions. She didn't ask what happened or how it happened. She just held her baby girl and let her cry.
"Do you not want something to eat?" Thea asked her as Jude shook her head.
"No, I just wanna lie down." Jude said, standing up from the table as AJ watched her.
As a mother, she didn't have to ask what happened. She knew. Part of her knew yesterday when she first saw Jude come into the house. But now she knew for sure. Her worst nightmare was happening. Knowing one of her daughter's was hurting in such a different, personal way, and she couldn't do anything to help it. Her idea of torture.
"If you need anything just let us know. We'll be down here." Thea told her as Jude nodded, walking away out of the kitchen.
Jude knew she didn't need to tell her mom what happened. She clearly already figured it out.
"Did she stay here last night?" AJ asked Thea who nodded, sitting down at the kitchen table once Jude had gone upstairs.
"Yeah, she slept upstairs with me." Thea said as AJ ran her hands through her hair, shaking her head in disbelief.
"How did this happen? Has she told you?" AJ asked as Thea nodded, "Oh, God." She gulped. She really wasn't sure she was prepared to hear it.
"Dominic and I both know." Thea nodded.
"What happened?" AJ took a deep breath.
"Well she was at that party." Thea said, "She doesn't remember anything about leaving the bar. All she remembers is waking up that morning." She nodded.
"So… someone drugged her?" AJ asked as Thea nodded.
"Yeah." Thea said, "She said she uh… she woke up naked." Thea whispered, even though Jude wasn't anywhere close, she still felt like she needed to whisper.
AJ placed her hand over her mouth, shaking her head in disbelief.
"She showed me bruises up her thighs and she said she feels… she felt like she'd had sex when she woke up." Thea nodded as AJ looked down, shaking her head.
"And she doesn't even remember an image of who this person was?" AJ asked.
"No clue." Thea shook her head, "She knows the house she came from but that's it."
"And she's not told the police yet?" AJ asked.
"No. She wants to tell Sean first, obviously." Thea nodded, "And then she's gonna go. She's just worried that they're not gonna take her seriously or people might think of her in a different way."
"I don't want to believe this." AJ shook her head, placing her hands over her forehead. It really was like a nightmare. Knowing the details now of what had happened, how her daughter had been assaulted by someone that she couldn't even identify, it was horrifying.
"Neither do I but… we have to be there for her." Thea said as AJ nodded, "I put the clothes she was wearing in a bag for when she goes to the cops. And if she goes within the week they'll do a rape kit exam… you go to the hospital for that so I can make sure that it's people she's comfortable with or whatever." Thea nodded, trying to think ahead, think of anything she could do to just make it a tiny bit easier.
"I just can't… I can't even think about it." AJ shook her head.
"If I tell you something will you keep it between me and you?" Thea asked her as AJ looked up.
"Well I'll decide when I hear what it is." AJ said, "What?"
"A few weeks ago this guy bumped into Jude and me at the mall. He was… he was kinda creepy and he was looking right through Jude. I… I didn't like it. I just got a bad feeling." Thea said, "But I didn't do anything. I didn't think much of it after that." She said, "And then I saw him when we were all at the markets. He was staring over at us." She said as AJ shook her head, "So when I went to Sean for that address… it wasn't an old friend, it was this guy."
"Thea." AJ groaned.
"What? I got a bad feeling about him." Thea said, "So I went to his house and I… politely told him to stay away from Jude, to stop following her and creeping on her." She said, "And then I hear Kirsty saying that it was him who invited them to the party."
"What? So you think this is the guy who… who hurt her?" AJ questioned, standing up from the table, "Well if you have the address-"
"Well that's the thing…" Thea stood up to, "I do have the address, but the one that Jude told me she came from isn't the same as it so… I don't know." She shrugged, "Maybe it's nothing to do with him."
"There has been those other attacks to some girls who go to the institute." AJ remembered, "God, I just didn't think I had to worry about Jude being one of them." She sat back down, placing her hand over her face as Thea watched.
"We're gonna find who did this to her." Thea nodded, "With or without the police." She said as AJ looked up and nodded.
"God, your dad is gonna end up in prison again." AJ groaned.
"No he's not. Because we're gonna deal with this the right way." Thea said, "And it's up to Jude who she tells, because it's her who is going through this."
"He's your father, Thea. He needs to know what's going on." AJ said.
"Jude decides." Thea said as AJ nodded, "She wants to tell Sean tonight and I think she wants to do that alone." She said as AJ nodded.
"I can't imagine what she's going through." AJ shook her head tearfully.
"I think out of all of us you probably understand a little more." Thea nodded.
"Yeah but I got out." AJ said, "I'd trade places with her in a heartbeat." AJ shook her head.
"So would I." Thea nodded, "I think the thing that's really getting to her, above everything else, is the fact she… she doesn't know what he… what he did to her." Thea shook her head as AJ sighed to herself, placing her hands over her face. It truly was a living nightmare.
"Thea, I gotta tell your dad." AJ shook her head, lifting her head and clasping her hands over her mouth, "I can't keep this from him."
"Look, it's just until Jude tells Sean. This isn't about what anyone else needs right now apart from her." Thea said as AJ nodded, "She's terrified. She's terrified of people knowing and… and having to go to the cops."
"What's the last thing she remembers?" AJ questioned.
"Being at the bar." Thea said, "And then it goes straight to waking up that morning."
"And no one else was in the house? She woke up alone?" AJ asked as Thea nodded.
"Yeah." Thea said.
"Well if she gives the cops the address, surely it's gonna be whoever owns that house-"
"You think things go easy like that when it comes to these things?" Thea asked as AJ sighed.
"No, I guess not." AJ said, "This Jeremy guy… how does he know Jude anyway?" She asked suspiciously.
"He's in her classes." Thea said, "When I went to his house he was playing the scared innocent act but I just… I get a bad feeling from him…" She shook her head.
"And if he was the one who invited her to the party…" AJ nodded to herself.
"We're not gonna jump to any conclusions." Thea said, "Jude doesn't know that I threatened Jeremy. She still thinks that I just asked Sean for an old friend's address. Not Jeremy's."
"Maybe you should tell her. If we put Jeremy's name out there maybe things might come back to her-"
"She was drugged. Nothing is gonna come back to her. Right now I can't tell if that's a good thing or a bad thing." Thea said as AJ sighed.
"You realise your dad and Dean aren't going to let the cops deal with this." Thea nodded, "Not a chance."
"Well they better." Thea said, "Unless they both wanna go to prison. I'm sure that's the last thing Jude needs right now, and they best realise that once they do find out." She said seriously.
"Your dad almost killed Rio when he found out about what he tried to do to me." AJ said, "And look, I'm not hurt at the fact I know he's way more protective over you three than he is of me." She said, "He'll lose it." She nodded as Thea thought to herself. The idea of the man behind Jude's attack being beaten and given what he deserved was very satisfying.
"Then just tell him not to get caught then." Thea looked across at her mother who looked back, "Either way, we'll find him." She promised as AJ nodded.
"I'm gonna go check on her." AJ stood up from the table as Thea nodded.
AJ headed away upstairs, walking into the bedroom where she saw Jude lying on her side, wide awake.
"Please don't ask how I am." Jude said as AJ nodded.
"I won't." AJ said, walking over to her, sitting down on the edge of the bed, "I just want you to know I'm here." She sighed, brushing Jude's hair from her face, "And I love you." AJ nodded as Jude looked at her.
"I don't even know how to describe how I feel right now." Jude shook her head.
"You don't have to." AJ soothed, stroking Jude's hair softly, "Just know we're all here for you. You're not alone." She whispered.
"I want to find who did it." Jude said, "And I want him to feel exactly how I feel right now." She said as AJ nodded.
"You believe me, baby. We'll find him. With or without the police." AJ nodded, continuing to stroke Jude's hair sweetly.
"I have to tell Sean tonight when he gets off work." Jude nodded, "And I don't know how he's gonna react."
"He's gonna be shocked… and upset." AJ nodded truthfully, "But I don't doubt for a second he'll be right there beside you in all of this." She said. She knew Sean was a good man, and she knew he cared about Jude very much.
"Would you tell dad for me?" Jude whispered as AJ looked at her, "If there's one person I know who is gonna flip out about this it's… gonna be him." Jude nodded, "And I don't… I don't wanna see that." She admitted.
"I'll tell him." AJ nodded, "And he'll be right behind you every step of the way."
"I know." Jude nodded, "I think I'm just gonna stay here until I need to go see Sean." She said as AJ nodded.
"Ok, I'll let you get some sleep." AJ nodded.
"No… can you stay with me?" Jude asked. She loved all of her family dearly, but there was just something about her mother's presence and comfort that was different.
"Of course I can." AJ nodded, "Hey, budge over." She smiled as Jude shuffled over, letting AJ sit on the bed beside her, "I'm not going anywhere." She promised as Jude rested her head on AJ's lap, letting her play with her hair, relaxing as best she could. But that hollow, empty feeling just wasn't leaving her.