Hey guys! I'm back with fanfics part two! *Holds up applause sign*

*No one applauds*

Okay, I'm not doing this again like in Swan Song. TIME TO RESPOND TO REVIEWS!

R: I mean... that's fair... Stalin is amazing. Have I done that one yet? Ahh, the perils of not knowing what the mallowmelt you are doing. Also shut up spellcheck mallowmelt IS a word it is the name of my TRUE LOVE!

Harryscuzin: Yes, I am a huge fan of Kam bromance... but I'm also a huge fan of Kam romance even though I'm hardcore Sokeefe... AHHHHHHHHHHH MULTISHIPPINGGGGGGGG!

Kiki858love: Yes indeedyness.

RamenG: Thanks!

Country-Fangirl: Good point.

Cary Swirls: Aww, thank you! TAM AND KEEFE MCGULON FOREVER! Um... does three weeks qualify as ASAP? Lol I'm such an inconsistent procrastinatory updater. But thank you so much!

Anyway, time for fanfics part two! Enjoy!

Me: Guess what guys?

Wylie: You're letting us leave?

Me: HAHAHAHAHA NO. Just for that, Wylie, you can go first!

Wylie: Go first with what?

Me: Wylie, Wylie, Wylie. How could you forget? Today we're continuing with... KOTLC WRITES KOTLC FANFICTION!

Wylie: Oh yes that. How on earth could I forget? Oh yes, because I was trying to block out painful memories. MY BAD.

Me: Yes. You're bad.

Tam: OH MY DSLUTOWESJFDSOKJFEWOSDFJDSOFJDS A. FAN USED THE WRONG "YOUR!"

Me: No no no that was intentional. If I used the wrong your I would probably delete my accoun- DEX STOP HACKING INTO MY COMPUTER AND CHANGING ALL THE "YOUR"S! THAT'S NOT GOING TO WORK!

Dex: What? ...I didn't do anything! I'M INNOCENT!

Me: Hmm... you know what I'm really craving right now?

Dex: No. How the mallowmelt would I know that?

Me: I'm craving CINNAMON!

Dex: Pfft you'd never eat me. I'm one of your favorite characters and I'm your "precious Dexy bean who should be on a cover" or something like that.

Me: True true true very true. Anyway... WYLIE, GO AHEAD AND READ YOUR FANFICTION THAT'S EVEN CRAPPIER THAN MINE!

Wylie: Trust me, that's not possible.

Me: Actually, considering I'm writing your fanfiction as you since really you are all figment of mine and Shannon's imagination...

Marella: Aaaaaaaaand that's fourth wall break number 4958734985734895743!

Biana: I'm pretty sure it's way more than that.

Marella: Well I rounded to the nearest 4958734985734895743, okay?

Biana: ...okay?

Linh: Anyway, go ahead Wylie! I'm sure it'll be great.

Me: COUGH COUGH COUGH HACK HACK YEAH RIGHT COUGH WHEEZE.

Linh: *Disapproving look*

Me: Sorry Linh.

Wylie: *CLEARS THROAT* This fanfiction is about the obvious OTP...

Linh: Lylie?

Tam: Tiana?

Dex: Dexella?

Keefe: Sokeefe?

Fitz: Fitzph- fine. No.

Me: OOH! I KNOW! Is it... Sokeefe-Tiana-Dexella-Lylie-Marellinh-Marelliana-Sophiana-Linhiana-Solinh-FedEx-Kam-Kam-Kam-Keefex-Solinhiana-Dover-Chandelitz-Sophockets-Sokeefe?

Dex: Um. Did you just name every single ship?

Me: No. Only the good ones.

Linh: So what's the real ship?

Wylie: ...A. Fan x trash.

Me: Um. This is outrageous! Trash is one of my best friends! That's all we'll ever be!

Friend: Um, A. Fan? I'm actually a trash can. Honestly, your ignorance about my species disgusts me. And HA I GOT A TWENTY OUT OF TWENTY ON THE GEOGRAPHY QUIZ! *Disappears*

Me: *Sobs* I only got a nineteen out of twenty... I'm a failure...

Wylie: Okay, I'd love to point out who you intended to make me start in the first few sentences and now we're 400 words into the chapter.

Me: Fine, fine, just get on with it!

Wylie: *Clears throat* "Everyone thought A. Fan, a truly terrible name by the way, would be single forever. After all, who would want to date her? Like, seriously. She had no social life because she was always on this terrible-"

Me: You misspelled glorious.

Wylie: I'm just gonna ignore you from now on. "This terrible site called fanfiction, where she wrote completely crappy stories and people pretended to like them out of pity."

Me: HEY! MY FANS ON THIS SITE ARE REAL! Right guys?

*Silence*

Dex: Oh no, she's doing this again. Should we- *lowers voice* Should we tell her no one likes her work?

Keefe: Dude, let her labor under her delusions a bit longer.

Wylie: "She was also really ugly and awkward. Plus she was a total geek, and had like two friends."

Linh: Actually, she has three friends. And Wylie, that's mean.

Wylie: Sorry Linh. But she's been mean to us for sixty one chapters. It's time for a little payback.

Linh: ...okay. But I still think it's mean. But okay.

Wylie: "In short, she was quite unpopular, and her love life was doomed. Or so she thought. One day, she actually managed to catch someone's eye. Well, metaphorical eye." Sorry, was metaphorical too big a word for you?

Me: HEY! YOU JUST WROTE ABOUT HOW NERDY I AM, AND NOW YOU'RE SAYING I DON'T EVEN KNOW THE WORD METAPHORICAL!? MAKE UP YOUR MIND, DUDE!

Wylie: Fine, you know the word. "For years, he had been searching-"

Biana: I'm sorry, did you just assume trash's gender? That's not nice. We should ask them their preferred pronouns.

Tam: Garbage truck just left.

Fitz: Nah, that's fine. Just assume trash is a guy.

Keefe: No. It is 2020. We don't assume genders. For all we know, trash identifies as an attack helicopter.

Wylie: Will you guys just shut up? "For years, they had been searching for someone as disgusting and pathetic as they were. As... trashy, if you will. Although A. Fan was actually far more disgustingly pathetic and trashy, the trash liked being the superior one in a relationship. And they knew they would never find a person more terrible than A. Fan. So, it was like love at first sight."

Tam: LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT IS A MYTH! Like, COME ON! There's no way you could fall in love with someone the second you see them! What are you basing it on anyway? Looks? That's so shallow! No, you need to get to know one another before you fall in love. You need to start trusting each other and let your feelings slowly develop based on their personality. Love. At. First. Sight. Does. Not. EXIST!

Me: That is the most beautiful paragraph I have ever heard/read/written. It's all true.

Fitz: B-but SOPHITZ was love at first sight!

Wylie: I DIDN'T COME HERE FOR A LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT DEBATE! "One day, trash worked up the courage to ask A. Fan out. Rationally, they knew A. Fan was bound to say yes- it wasn't like she'd ever get a better offer, or even another offer for that matter. But A. Fan was so amazingly ugly that flies were floating in trash's nonexistent stomach. Still, trash swallowed hard and said

'A. Fan, for years I have searched for someone like you. Everyone said no one could ever love a trash can, so I knew I needed to find someone even more disgusting and pathetic and trashy than me. And you, you want below and beyond my standards. I know I'll never find another as disgusting, pathetic, and trashy as you, so please, A. Fan. Will you marry me?"

A. Fan was shocked. She thought it was impossible for anyone, even trash, to love a vile creature like her. Slowly, a smile spread across her face. Finally, she had found someone who would accept her for the mess she was! Someone only slightly better than her, like trash!

'Yes.'

Wylie: So, did you like it?

Tam: Oh yes! I thought it was very accurate!

Me: HEY! I HATED IT! That is not art! It's... trash!

Wylie: Oh, so you love it?

Me: Shut up Wylie. Let's see if your girlfriend did any better.

Linh: So, um, I wrote a FedEx fanfiction. It's not quite my OTP, but it is cute. I like all the ships as long as the people are happy.

Me: You are precious and sweet and nie. Why can't your boyfriend follow your example?

Wylie: Because I hate you. Go ahead sweetheart.

Me + Lylie Fans: SPDRUEWSODFNSDLFJEWPOSDJGDFSLFJDSLFJDSLFJLFJWEORIUODMFVCSXFOEWSUTJEFMOGFSDSWEETHEART!

Linh: *Blushing* Um. "I don't hate you. A FedEx fanfiction by Linh Song.

Dex laughed at Fitz's joke. The smile stayed on his face, and he continued looking at Fitz even as the topic of conversation changed.

Sophie nudged him. 'Hey, it looks like you're actually enjoying the company of Wonderboy. Thought you hated him.'

Dex blushed furiously, immediately ripping his gaze away from the handsome teal eyed elf he was- handsome?! What?! Was Dex's brain dying? Was he coming down with something? He was so shocked it took him a second to remember Sophie's question. 'What? I do! Wonderboy infuriates me!'

Sophie smiled. 'I'm not as oblivious as you think.'

'What's that supposed to mean?'

'Looks like you are, though.' Sophie added.

'Oblivious about what?'

Sophie laughed. 'Come on Dex. It's not exactly a secret.' She lowered her voice, throwing a glance at Fitz who was deep in conversation with Keefe. 'Everyone knows you liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike Fitz.'

Dex sputtered indignantly. 'What the- what? No! Wonderboy? What- I DO NOT LIKE HIM!' His face was the color of a tomato.

'Sure.' Sophie's imparter buzzed, and she checked it. 'Grady and Edaline want me home.'

'Good.' Dex grumbled.

She smirked. Just before she left, she whispered 'By the way- I think Fitz likes you too.'

Dex rolled his eyes and ignored her.

That night, as Dex was tossing and turning, Sophie's words kept echoing in his head- 'Everyone knows you liiiiiiiiiiiike Fitz.' Of course he didn't! What the mallowmelt was she-

Honestly, though...

She might have a point.

Dex groaned. Was he, the sworn enemy of the Vackers, falling for Wonderboy? Yes. A voice in his head answered. Dex buried his face in the pillow.

Then he remembered what else Sophie said- 'I think Fitz likes you too.' A smile came to Dex's face as he drifted off to sleep.

The next day, he decided to see if Sophie was right. Mallowmelt, if she wasn't he'd murder her for this insane humiliation he was about to suffer. Every move was like a nightmare as he tapped Fitz on the shoulder and they walked to a more private area.

Dex took a deep breath. 'Wonderboy, I... I don't hate you.' He managed, finishing lamely. Great job, Dizznee. Keep going. 'In fact, I actually kind of... like-like you.' He blushed harder than he ever had before.

Fitz flashed a movie star smile and everything in Dex relaxed and melted. 'You have no idea how long I've wanted to hear that.'

Me: WHOOOOOOOO! THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL! YEAH GO LINH!

Dex: Hate the ship, but that was actually pretty good.

Sophie: Are you kidding? "Pretty good?" That was INCREDIBLE!

Linh: *A tomato* Thanks guys!

Me: Well... Almost exceeded personal word limit, so we're gonna stop here. Next time is part three! Check out Swan Song and please review!