Witches Of Gulfport

"You're seeing her again." Mac couldn't help the accusation she threw at him when Bud headed off to find the VOQ. It had left her alone with Harm and she could no longer ignore the way he looked at her once she'd retrieved them from the airport.

It wasn't the stark white Navy uniform but, he'd surely had seen her in peanut butters at one point or another and the notion that Harm was seeing Diane's likeness again made Mac's heart clench painfully.

Absentmindedly she rubbed at the spot on her chest just left of her breastbone, it wasn't fair to hurt this way over anyone. This thing between her and Harm, her pining for him was going to be the end of her. Wasn't she 'happily' sort-of engaged? A few days in Mic's arms had been a testament towards his investment to their future. He loved her, had said so repeatedly but, Mac didn't feel the same. She honestly doubted she could love him that way but, figured her heart would learn with with time.

Her heart. Mac sighed at the melancholic state she'd been in, an unhappiness since her splintered heart was left drifting on a ferry in Sydney. Harm didn't know the pain he inflicted, how could he? He didn't feel what she did, didn't love like she did. His jealousy was nothing more than concern over a friend.

And now she understood why - Sarah MacKenzie would never, could never measure up to Diane Shonke. Never.

It all made sense when his gaze drifted over CPO Bonnie Johnson, Mac's cover during their investigation of a Wiccan Coven. She had collected Harm and Bud from the airport and there had been a specific look from him that made the hair stand up at the back of her neck. It reminded her of not-so-distant past, the times he would just stare only to turn away, cheeks burning with embarrassment. Then there were other times, when Mac caught him staring at her with longing which fueled some sort of hope, and it was killing her.

Now she knew and was sure of it, he was seeing her. The love of his life; the woman he sought a 'future' with only the fates conspired and took Diane away from Harm with savagery.

Mac hadn't thought about her twin much in recent years, not since that night in Norfolk when he'd seemingly put that ghost to rest. But, today, the way Harm looked at her brought back unwanted feelings of inadequacy. Harm didn't want her because she wasn't her and the weight of that knowledge was crushing. So she settled into their usual MO, the heavy banter and work... yes, work was always a safe topic.

"Umm, what?" Harm guiltily looked up from the file he'd been studying, he hadn't heard Mac speak because he was far too engrossed in the pictures of the coven dancing naked by the fire. Purposely, he put aside the ones of Mac, unable to hide the flushing of his cheeks when he spotted her. Even in the dark grainy picture he instinctively knew it was her. He'd stared for a moment too long, confirming his suspicions of how beautiful she would look in the nude. And she was beautiful... God, so beautiful.

He swallowed hard when his eyes sought and found her tattoo, proudly displayed on her pubic area near her right hip bone, the product of a rebellious youth. He couldn't make out the details but the black lines were a contrast to the lighter color of her skin and it beckoned him to look. "What was that, Mac?"

When she spoke, he felt like he'd be slapped, as if Mac read the carnal thoughts briefly crossing his mind. Embarrassed, he made a show of setting her frames aside and then causally perused the other photos. "What did you say?" Good God, did she catch him?

"Diane. You see her when you look at me. You always have, I guess." The last part was spoken softly, almost under her breath so that he wouldn't hear her disappointment. She thought they'd been past her doppelganger, Diane had finally ceased to be his personal ghostly torment when Mac stopped him from murdering Holbarth. Mac knew she was spending too much time in the office, the length of stay would be called to question by the suspicious eyes of the coven and mar her cover story. She just couldn't let it go."Not sure why I thought that would change."

That's why Harm didn't want her, why he couldn't love her - she still reminded him of Diane, always would Mac supposed. And as the weight of that knowledge settled in, she felt her stomach tighten in knots. Her already broken heart shattered a bit more when his eyes snapped up to hers. He looked bewildered, shocked even and a watery smile spread across Mac's lips. "It's okay. I get it now."

Besides, she had Mic who she didn't love but then, Harm didn't love her either. For that matter, she curiously wondered if Mic's love was more of a severe infatuation that clouded his judgment in reference to her. Surely there were better women in the World to pine for?

At least the other man stated his intentions, mooned over her and went that extra mile to let her know. It was sweet, she should be fawning over him but, even when she slept with Mic it didn't feel right. Shouldn't making love to your fiance be the Earth-shattering, spectacular, colors blinding, violins chirping type of affair?

Not that it was terrible, it just wasn't good. And it certainly wasn't making love, just sex. Mundane sex to boot.

Because he isn't the one.

Mic would never be no matter how much she lied to herself or him. She barely registered that Harm had closed the office door and settled next to her. Mac also realized she'd been crying, a lot, given the warm tears that streaked down her face.

"You're not wearing the ring." The ring. Not her ring or his ring but, the ring. He didn't want to give that blasted piece of jewelry, and all that it stood for, any ownership. No, it would mean that she was taken and given the distance which stretched out between her and Bugme, he refused to believe that farce of an engagement would last.

Mac sniffed and wiped some of the tears away. "CPO Bonny Johnson is single. Not engaged."

Harm smiled but there was a sadness in his eyes as he raised his hand and brushed more of the tears away. "I like that about her."

"You like that she looks like Diane . And, I'm sorry I'm not her and can't be. I would give anything for you to be that happy again. Be in love."

He stared at her for a moment, more than a bit confused at her sudden change. On the ride to the base she'd been lively, bantering, what happened? "Be in love? Are you in love?"

"I...Harm."

"Do. You. Love. Him?" He punctuated each word and then frowned when he thought back to Mac's impromptu Australian trip. "I guess you must, to spent a week with him." A truth that had hurt him more than Harm could have imagined. The thoughts of Mac in that pompous Australian's arms. The fact that she had turned to Brumby when a case had threatened her career. She ran to Brumby not him. Things had changed between them after he went to fly and the change was not for the better. He'd always been her confidante and now...

"You have Renee, who I'm with shouldn't bother you."

"I'm not in love with Renee." He stated with a stern simplicity that wouldn't force her to question him. "And I don't see Diane when I look at you. Not gonna lie, I did for a while - but, then it was all you." Harm clarified, smiling when Mac raised her head up to look at him. "Those pictures though..." He motioned to the neat little pile that he'd turned upside down so prying eyes wouldn't see. He had the decency to blush. She was his partner, he shouldn't be thinking of her that way.

But he had been thinking, fantasizing. Since Sydney, it's all he was doing... thinking of Mac, confused on how a woman that one moment offered to go topless in front of him could take another man's ring the next. It opened up a floodgate of emotions that Harm couldn't quite understand. He didn't want to hurt her but then, he didn't want to hurt over her either. The fact was, he wasn't good at relationships and was terrified of what it would do to them.

Undoubtedly, their trip to Australia was a kind of turning point and not for the better. It felt like he was on the Titanic, sinking under the cold sea. She could save him, Mac had the power to if only he'd let her.

Mac's flipped the images over knowing full well that Harm ha surveillance on the group. It was just that, images, pictures that would only be seen by her colleagues and destroyed after the case ran it's course. "What about them? You can barely tell it's me."

"Yes, I can...And, I shouldn't have looked at them...I'm your partner...not your... I-I'm sorry."

"Your lead investigator on the case..." She offered as an excuse but, when her eyes locked onto his she saw the blue irises turn almost a stormy grey. It made Mac catch her breath, he was openly looking at her with such desire that it made parts of her tingle. "Harm..."

"Sarah." He wanted to kiss her. God, how he wanted to kiss her and spend the rest of the day studying every inch of her body with his fingers following the lines of that tattoo. Harm only hesitated, location held him back from taking what he wanted most. "I see you, Sarah. Just you." He took her hand in his, running his thumb slowly along the lines of her palm. It wasn't a kiss, far from it but, the intimacy in his touch made the heat rise between them - simmeringly so.

"No." Mac said suddenly, pulling her hand out of his grasp and standing when there was a knock at the door. Bud had returned. "No, I don't love him."