At the end, she had so many questions. Like, 'what, really?' and 'why are you all like this, as people?', and importantly 'wtf is an energy fox monster, and why does it hate you almost as much as I do right now?' but the most pressing one was-
"When can I tell him?" She rubbed at her temples. The infodump had really taken its toll on her brain.
He leaned back and inhaled deeply, steepling his fingers again. "Whenever you think is best. I did remand him into your care, knowing that entailed giving you that responsibility."
'Fucker, did he just outsource this again? I mean it was my job the instant he signed those papers, but I can never tell whether it's just factual or that he's getting out of telling Naruto (and Sasuke) some terrible news.'
She looked at her employer, who was staring off into space. He looked exhausted.
'Probably both. Why choose.'
'Weirdly, the fact that the fox has the capacity to hate Konoha implies that it's sentient. That's… all kinds of fucked up. I feel like Konoha hit the bingo on the 'crimes against humanity/sentient life' list now. Unlawful detention, slavery, torture… they've really got it all.'
But Naruto didn't hate Konoha- he loved it, and was bewildered as to why it didn't return his increasingly desperate and enthusiastic affections.
'So he's definitely right about them not being the same. I mean, I'm not patting myself on the back too hard to say I'd probably have noticed if my eight year old was a demon fox.'
"Oh, there's something else." He stretched out his arms and rolled his shoulders. He must have been tense. "Hatake-san will be the genin sensei for both Sasuke-kun and Naruto-kun, for obvious reasons."
"Which are that Naruto is the…" she struggled for the word, "jinchuuriki for the nine-tailed fox and the sharingan supposedly can control it?"
"Yes." Sarutobi-sama finally went for his pipe, and she was actually very complimented to realize he'd held out on her behalf for the better part of an hour. "And Sasuke-kun would need training on the sharingan, which is otherwise due to…"
"Genocide." She finished, taking notes.
He gave her a slightly sour look. "A true, but undesirable wording."
She looked up. "What else would you call it? They're definitely dead."
"It's a state secret." He cautioned. "It is not a word I would use outside my confidence. It would… incite unrest."
"From the rest of the clans, I'm sure." She leaned back on her divan. "Sir, if I may."
"Yes, Rejina-hime?"
"Hatake is indisputably a great jounin, as we know." She hesitated.
He looked at her with an eyebrow raised.
"...but I did not see any teaching experience in his career. His own training ended somewhat… early." She said, as diplomatically as possible. In truth, she'd cringed through most of the very clinical notations regarding the timelines of the deaths of his unnamed teammates and teacher.
She had not had the heart to dig further into that, even if it wouldn't be weird.
"True." He rubbed at his own temples. "Which is why he is being encouraged to begin training another genin team this year."
"But they could fail the entry test." She asserted. "If they do, he learns nothing about teaching."
"What are you proposing?" He asked, leaning back and examining her. "If Hatake-san fails them, it would be because they lack the basic requirements."
"Could he train some of the genin corps, if he fails his genin team this year?" She asked. "Even rotating students. That way he's definitely available when they graduate in three years."
Sarutobi-sama seemed to consider it, leaning back in his chair and looking up at the ceiling for a moment.
"This sounds like your proposal for the rest of the Jounin on leave." He said, more to himself.
"It is." She resituated herself on the couch, feeling the urge to squirm slightly. "...But the Genin corps is massive and could use the training- and Hatake-san could use the experience. Do you think he's ready to work with children full time?" She asked honestly. "We tried to avoid him for a month. Can we… ah, subject Naruto and Sasuke to his particular brand of charm as it is?"
His breathing hitched, and his eyes went a little wide.
"Probably not." He admitted, after a moment. "As well as whomever their third teammate would be. I do not imagine you or her parents would be pleased."
"Her?" She asked. "Has it been decided?"
"No, not yet." He waved her away a bit. "Some of the teams have. The Nara, Akimichi, and Yamanaka team is decided. Your sons will be together. The others depend on class rankings and ability in their last year of the Academy."
'Interesting. Wonder why.'
He seemed to immediately register the question regardless. "Their fathers requested it." He said tiredly. "As their team arrangement has worked so well in the past, I was unable and unwilling to decline."
Then he leaned forward, shifting a paper out of the pile. He wrote something on it and handed it to her. "I'll allow you to propose this to Hatake-san yourself. You seem to have a very good working relationship."
'Allow.' she repeated in her mind. "Relative to what?"
"You're the only one who doesn't hide in the nearest closet when he comes in the office." he said lightly, with a smile. "And he no longer lingers outside my door like an angry cloud with demands of reinstatement."
"Thank you, Sarutobi-sama." She took the folder and stared at it. Hatake's quarter of exposed face stared back at her from the picture on top.
"You can call me sensei. I prefer it." His voice sounded substantially lighter, now that he'd unburdened himself of all those problems. He hadn't even had to tell Hatake-san that he was being 'promoted', a development that she was sure he was going to take about as well as he took any change whatsoever.
'Which is, how do you say, real bad.'
"Thank you, Sarutobi-sensei." She repeated back, woodenly. 'This is gonna be so much work, I can feel it.'
It was nine am. Regina checked the clock in her office, just to be sure. Hatake was supposed to be in her office at exactly nine to discuss his qualifications for teaching.
He was not there. Or so the empty chair in front of her seemed to attest.
'This is gonna be a long day.' She thought to herself, tucking his file and her written questions back into the 'in' tray. She pulled out another dossier from Shishou.
'I guess it's your turn, Fire Daimyo's cousin number 13.'
She opened it up, and began reading. She took notes in English in her private notebook, in the 'notable family members' section. 'And I suppose this will have to go in my Fire Daimyo family tree art project at home. Can't forget anything.'
Interestingly, this one seemed to have a vague understanding of a job. He had some sort of small company specializing in luxury imports, which he then sold to his family and a few Konoha clans.
'Usually, their interests are 'poetry' and 'lying down in silks, sighing dramatically'. But I suspect this might be someone I need to talk to regarding these trade agreements in Iron with the British Empire. Looks like I might have a distributor. And the Daimyo seems to like him well enough, so it's likely to sit well as a proposal.'
Shishou either had fortuitously picked an immediately relevant dossier, or he'd known more about the arrangement with Iron than she would have suspected.
'At least someone is up on it. Sarutobi-sensei-sama-man hasn't said a damn thing about how to prepare. Is he just giving me a trial by fire? Or does he think I'm already prepped?'
She took a moment to thank Danzou for his actual forethought, taking extra notes and making a reminder to re-check her notes for that meeting. Maybe she could even ask him about more relevant persons.
Regina looked up at the clock intermittently, registering that minutes, then more than an hour went by.
'He was definitely informed about this meeting time.' She rolled her eyes, safe in the privacy of her office. 'I could send more chuunin after him, but it seems like such a waste of personnel.'
Instead, she earmarked him for a D-class mission assisting with village litter cleanup. 'Maybe he's too busy with the C and B class missions.' She thought blithely, blowing the ink from her kage hanko dry on a new budget approval for the T&I department. 'I hate to think we're overworking him.'
She'd send it over to Sarutobi-sensei in a minute, who would probably double it.
He finally sauntered in after lunch, barely knocking on her door before sliding in and leaning back into the chair.
Regina didn't look up at him right away- she was in the middle of taking some very painstaking notes on what goods it seemed like Fire Country might want. As well as her own personal shopping list.
He cleared his throat after about a minute.
"Yes, sorry, Hatake-san." She still didn't look up. "Just a moment, you know how it is. Work never ends." She pulled open the file on the imports company and evaluated their income.
He hummed, settling back in the chair. "More budgets?"
"Worse." She said honestly. Finished with her notes, she carefully put them back into her drawer and pulled out his file from the tray.
"Sorry to make you wait." She said, not sounding terribly sorry.
He eye-smiled. "Thank you for valuing my time."
"As I thank you for valuing mine." She handed him the set of mission scrolls that Sandaime-sama had fast-tracked. "Those are yours for after our meeting- thank you so much for finding the time to come in today. Are you keeping busy with your missions?"
He registered the color on the scrolls and gave her a grumpy look, bordering on mutinous. SHe marvelled at how well he could emote with a cheekbone, a mostly hidden eyebrow, and one eye.
"Very." He bit out.
"Don't be cross, Hatake-san. You know we value you immensely." She smiled. "Which is why I have to ask you some questions today."
"I'm doing great." he seemed to grind out through his teeth, ever so slightly. "No complaints."
"That's good to hear!" She chirped. His eye twitched a little. "Your village reintegration is not what I have to talk with you about today, however."
The grumpy aura in the room seemed to subside a bit.
"Oh?" He asked, looking more interested but still obviously unhappy. "So these aren't retaliation?" He lifted the set of mission scrolls dooming him to litter pick up.
"Those are concessions to your obviously overworked schedule. I was concerned, because you wouldn't keep me waiting more than six hours if you weren't horribly busy." She shrugged. "I worried that we were overworking you again."
He obviously knew she was full of it, but he nodded sharply. "I'm very busy sometimes. However, I still believe that I might be of more use to the village in a… different way."
"That's what we have to talk about, actually." She pulled out her list of questions. He peered over her desk.
"Though I'm afraid you may not like this, either." Regina said frankly. "I'm not sure how I feel about it, to be honest."
That really did seem to pique his interest.
"And why is that?" The mission scrolls disappeared into his pockets and he leaned forward.
She tried to think of the best way to phrase this.
"Sandaime-sama thinks you are ready to begin a fulfilling career in the educational sector." She said flatly. "As a genin teacher."
His eye hardened a bit, and his posture stiffened.
"I don't know you as well, I suppose." She forced a shrug. "Which is why we're having this meeting."
"And if I don't want to?"
She raised an eyebrow. "Would you tell him that? I mean, I know you would. But can you honestly decline? I was under the impression it was not elective."
He didn't answer.
"This isn't exactly a democracy." She pointed out. "Unless I'm missing something, he tells us what to do and we do it."
"Do you?" He asked pointedly.
She just stared at him. "Yes." She said emphatically. "That's the thing about a military dictatorship."
Regina tapped her pen on the first question. "So, I have to ask you questions. If they're too personal, or invasive, you can elect out of answering to a degree."
"Why you."
"It's my job." She said blandly. "And I have a personal investment in this topic."
He processed that, looking her over carefully. Then he shrugged. "Of course. What questions do you have?"
"So," she winced slightly. "I've been looking at your records a bit. Would you say that you have any teaching experience?"
"No."
"Do you have any thoughts about coming into the system so young? You were significantly younger than recent Academy graduates." She looked up.
He was obviously thinking.
"Being smaller made it much easier to kill people." He said, musing to himself. "There are lots of important tendons in the legs."
"That's horrifying!" She said with a jovial kind of despair, marking that down. "Thank you."
He blinked.
"Did you enjoy being on a genin team?"
"Nope." He leaned in again, seeming to relax a bit.
"Do you have any friends?" She asked. It wasn't strictly necessary, but she was curious.
"I have one friend and I avoid him whenever possible. Also, of course, you. And my cats." He smiled and gestured with his arms wide open. "I have a very full life."
She avoided looking down at his file with documentation of at least six dogs, who all had their own personnel files as ninken.
"Distressing. You keep saying that- Did Gai-san give you that thing I asked him about?"
"Oh, yes, he did. It took him five days to find me, though. I filled it out this morning." He handed back a sheet of paper.
She recognized the survey she'd made for an audience of one- he hadn't filled out a damn thing except one answer, to the question 'what makes you think we are friends?' to which he had answered 'family friends' with that ugly face he'd written on her coffee before.
"Can you elaborate?" She asked, feeling a bit railroaded. Jiraiya had not given her the impression that he had saddled her with social obligations and connections.
"My father and your father were very close, enjoying many years of friendship." He continued to smile. "Therefore, we are friends."
"The transitive property of friendship." She said blankly. "So you are a family friend."
"Exactly."
She sighed. Point to him.
"Back to the topic at hand, I suppose. How would you go about teaching genin, given that your experiences were remarkably different due to wartime and age?"
"Badly." He said, sounding nearly giddy for him.
"It seems like you perhaps… found shinobi arts more intuitive than other students might have. Do you believe you have the patience and capacity to explain to others, things which are self-evident to you?" She tapped her pen on the desk.
"Rejina-hime," he asked slowly, "what exactly are you digging for here?"
'Ah, wow. He's really deciding that we are friends. That or this is another barb, but it wouldn't change my necessary response.'
"You're an extremely accomplished shinobi, Kakashi-san." She leaned back, readjusting her ponytail. She probably should have braided it or something, it was getting in the way today. "But teaching and doing are entirely different animals."
"Animals?" He asked, obviously confused.
She blinked. "Oh, ah. A saying from my home country. They're just very different. You advanced so young and so quickly- you didn't seem to need to struggle with concepts or even jutsu. Other students don't have that ability. Most don't. You aren't likely to find a student similar to yourself, your students will require substantially more time and detailed explanations that you've never had to hear or verbalize."
'A hard lesson for myself, at another time. And into forever- I'm not that much better at it.'
"As I said, this isn't an elective." She handed over two folders, painstakingly prepared. He accepted them tentatively. "Hokage-sama expects you to train both Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke when they graduate from the Academy in about three years, for reasons I'm sure are clear to you."
He seemed a bit frozen.
'I don't know if I should have used their new family names- but I doubt he has that much knowledge of small children in the village to identify them otherwise.'
"I have confidence in your abilities, but I wondered if it might be best for you to train other students first- as these students have specific needs and are…" a sick feeling rose in her stomach "significant village assets."
She couldn't really look at him. Just saying that about her boys felt foul.
"Hokage-sama already decided that you are to test a graduating genin team this year."
He still didn't move. His eye stared past her like he was somewhere far away.
"Kakashi-san?" She asked, quietly.
He came back down to earth, gripping the folders tightly. "I understand what is asked of me."
She bit her lip. "If the genin team this year or next fails, how would you feel about mentoring some members of the genin corps?"
Hatake looked off at the window and seemed to grit his teeth. "Acceptable."
"Fair." She said, feeling a bit guilty. "Anou. Do you have any questions for me, as a family friend?"
He paused.
"Now that you mention it, yes. Why is Genma sprawling himself on desks and chairs outside the office?"
"New office directive to flirt with age-appropriate personnel." She said, trying to mask her own amusement. It didn't work.
"Issued by…"
'Damn you.'
"Myself- as a response to the village's abysmal morale and falling birth rate." She tried to make it sound as reasonable as possible.
"Mhmm." He tucked the folders away into his vest. "And you aren't going to say anything nice to me?" He asked, sounding hurt. It was probably fake.
"I lack my father's romantic flair." She said without any remorse. "It's a curse, I know."
"It may strain the bonds of our friendship." He said lyingly, because he was a liar and altogether too much like her for her own taste.
"I already hit on Shiranui today to get him to stop posing on top of my desk. You're trying to get blood from a stone." She said dryly, noting that he seemed to grimace at the euphemism. Apparently that was yet another one she couldn't use anymore. "Maybe go ask him. He's getting really creative. Earlier he intimated that he'd like to use my hair for something completely inappropriate."
"He should have said it was like starlight." Hatake critiqued. "Or cascades like a waterfall."
"I'm sure he'd welcome your feedback." She gestured to her door. "But thank you for the compliments, family friend. I do like my hair. In return, I would like to compliment you on your extremely luscious lips."
He paused.
He blinked, very slowly.
Then he ambled out and she closed the door.
Regina let Ikemoto-san pull her into her dressiest kimono and adorn her with appropriate accessories.
'Shit, this hurts.' She didn't bother to hide the wincing. It didn't help, and Ikemoto-san did not care.
"Rejina-hime, is there anything else that you require before the festival?" Ikemoto-san asked, carefully inserting one of Shizune's gift kanzashi into her hair and twisting it around.
'Hope that isn't one of the poisoned ones.' She thought, swallowing. "No, I don't believe so. Are the boys ready?"
"They will be." Ikemoto-san promised. "We will meet you after the announcement. Naruto-kun wanted you to know he already packed for tomorrow."
"How much will we have to re-pack it?" Regina asked idly.
Ikemoto-san chuckled. "Entirely, unless you want him to wear only markers and one shirt."
"I do not. And Sasuke?"
"He packed his this afternoon, and it is adequate and ready to go next to the genkan."
"Excellent. Do you have any plans yourself, while we're gone?" Regina asked, checking that the kanzashi were fully secured with her fingertips. Very gently.
She hummed. "I will be relaxing in the onsen outside. Perhaps I will go shopping, myself."
"Good! I hope you relax." Regina moved to check herself in the mirror. "How do I look?"
"Wonderful." Ikemoto-san gestured to her bedroom door. "You should move, however. It will take time to walk to the Hokage Tower in those geta."
'Fuck, it's true.'
Regina speed-walked down the hall and the stairs, pausing in the genkan to give Sasuke and Naruto careful kisses on the forehead. "I gotta go." She gestured. "I'll see you right after the speech, right?" She looked at Naruto's lopsided yukata and leaned down, readjusting the collar. He beamed.
"You both look great!" She complimented. "And we'll leave early tomorrow morning, so…"
"Not too much candy!" They chorused back. "It keeps us up late."
"Exactly right." She booped them on their noses.
Then she walked back to the Hokage Tower. The straps were cutting into the top of her feet by the time she arrived up all those stairs.
"I see you dressed properly for the occasion." Sarutobi-sama said, with some amusement. He hadn't even had to change.
She thought that maybe some expletives were warranted, but she held them in. "Is everything ready?"
"Of course." He said easily, gesturing to the note cards they'd prepared. "I've been doing this for some time, you know." He winked.
"And I just have to stand there and look pretty." She checked for what seemed like the billionth time. It was never that easy. She was innately suspicious.
"For the last time, yes." The Hokage was obviously amused at her expense. "No one expects you to say anything. You are not the Hokage." He paused. "Yet."
She scrunched up her face in distaste. "Or ever."
He hummed. "I don't know…. I've never been able to trick anyone else within a mile of it. You're a small, invented promotion away. The only problem is that you've never been trained as a shinobi. A small fix. I could do it in all the free time you've created for me."
'I'm your chump, you mean.' She grouched. 'Don't tease.'
A few minutes later, Genma and Raidou opened the doors. She took a deep breath, and followed him out onto the balcony.
It was blinding.
The lights shone directly on their faces, but she could see the amorphous forms of a crowd- just little blobs down on the ground below. They wavered.
Then they cheered. The roar went up and echoed, causing a ringing in her ears.
'I swear to god it seems like everyone in the city is right down there. Is this what it's always like?'
She carefully did not move her head. Even shinobi likely couldn't see her facial expressions or where her eyes were looking from this far away, but she didn't feel like it was worth the mild risk. She had to be everything she was purported to be.
So she mentally rechecked how straight her spine was, and held her head up high.
'Dignified, cool-headed, responsible.' she chanted to herself. 'You don't even have to say anything today.'
The Hokage raised his right hand slightly, and an instant hush fell over the crowd.
She was instantly distracted from her mission.
'Damn, that's cool. I wish I could do that.'
"People of Konohagakure," he said, voice amplified over the speakers. It echoed a little bit, far below. "For yet another year we have prospered. On this, the ninth anniversary of the Kyuubi attack, we give thanks to that which makes us strong."
An audible sense of pride was filling up the air.
'Ah, yes, the party line. Here we go.'
"The Will of Fire helped us to survive, and grow, even as we were beset by challenges and change."
He paused again, letting the loudspeakers do their task.
"And we embrace the Will of Fire! Fire burns away the old, and allows the new to start fresh."
"In keeping with this tradition, on this, our 100th year of being, my Council is retiring to allow younger generations of shinobi to provide counsel and guidance through new challenges." He paused again.
From her position only a few feet away, Regina could see that the corners of his mouth were upturned ever so slightly on his supposedly blankly calm face.
The crowd evidently needed a moment to discuss that- the sound of hundreds, if not thousands, of small conversations began to shift like the breeze.
"Koharu Utatane, Homura Mitokado, and Shimura Danzou have been my teammates, my closest friends, and respected and invaluable advisors for Konohagakure for most of their lives. After careful thought and consideration, I have granted their wishes to finally retire to spend time in the village they have spent their lifetimes serving."
She did not try to look around to see where they were at, as she genuinely did not want any part of this smoke.
"Please join me in thanking them for their tireless dedication to the Will of Fire, and welcoming them to a well-deserved rest. May we all be so lucky."
Thunderous applause ricocheted throughout the city square, bouncing off the corrugated metal on several buildings. It made Regina's teeth ache a little bit.
He gestured again, and it fell quiet. "As we grow, so we change."
"In the past year, we have had many blessings, including the fortuitous repatriation of the daughter of one of our most beloved war heroes."
'Oh shit, you said I didn't have to do anything.'
She kept calm. It was likely all he wanted her to do was bow.
"Jiraiya Rejina has spent her lifetime apart from us, and has returned to be a part of her home village. During those years, she strove to receive an education worthy of advancing the Will of Fire through innovation and proper governance, to improve the lives of shinobi and civilian alike. We are fortunate for her return and commitment of her knowledge and self to Konohagakure and all of Fire Country as our first fukukage."
He beckoned her forward.
'Ah, fuck.' She tried to look graceful as she toddled along in her tall and uncomfortable geta, and did a princess-appropriate bow. 'Also, that makes it kind of sound like I was sent away at his direction. The buy-in people are doing based on Jiraiya's made-up bullshit is intense. I honestly only think he did it so he could ditch me semi-safely.'
"Well, introduce yourself." He said in sotto.
She glared daggers at the floor before she looked up.
"Konohagakure, good evening." She said, as loudly and clearly as she was able. Thousands of people responded in unison, causing shivers to run up her spine. "I am Jiraiya Rejina, daughter of Jiraiya of the Sannin. I humbly put myself at your disposal, and look forward to working with and for all of you." She paused, as the collective chatter rose up through the air. "It is my pleasure to serve you as fukukage." Then she bowed.
They bowed back. Something stirred, deep within her soul. It felt good.
The applause was thunderous.
'I suppose I should send the best father figure I've ever had a thank-you letter.' She mused as she stepped back to her earlier placement. The Hokage resumed his speech, set off a massive chant about the Will of Fire, which led into what she could only assume was their national anthem.
'Also, I should learn the words for those things. Seems kinda important.'
"Thank you, Konohagakure, for allowing me to serve as your Hokage. Enjoy the festival!" He bowed slowly.
Regina watched as a sea of people bowed back, and dispersed. Music started up from down below, and she could hear happy shrieks and peals of laughter.
She followed Sarutobi-sensei back into the Hokage Tower, where he removed his hat. Sweat streamed down his neck.
"It's hot under those lights, isn't it?" He asked her, sitting down at his desk.
"Hotter under pressure. I thought you said I didn't have to say anything. I asked so many times."
"That's why I knew you'd already prepared. You are… a known quantity to me, Rejina-hime." He smiled and took out his pipe. "Well, I suppose you should change into something less formal and get down there. I am sure Naruto-kun and Sasuke-kun are waiting for you."
He gestured to a bundle on her divan. "Your housekeeper dropped this off earlier today. She's rather organized."
'Would someone like me have hired her if she wasn't?' Regina thought, gratefully walking to what was hopefully a yukata, better geta, and a ton of wet wipes. She felt so sweaty.
"Will you come?" She asked as she picked it up and turned back to the door.
He waved his hands. "Those things are for young people who don't have panicky bodyguards. And you, I suppose."
She glanced back at where she suspected ANBU Boar had been hiding. Regina rarely ever caught a glimpse of any of her minders anymore. Boar sometimes liked to come out of the woodwork, though.
"Wrong corner." The Hokage said idly, not even looking. "Yours like to use the plants, too."
'Nice tidbit, shame I'll never know for myself.' She shrugged. "Okay then Boar, let's go."
She changed in her office and wiped up with the bagged series of wet actual towels Ikemoto-san had put into the package. By the end, she felt reasonably clean, actually. She pulled on a dress slip and wrapped herself in her red yukata.
'Why the hell don't I have a floor-length mirror in here? What an oversight.' She adjusted the lines of the yukata to what she hoped was perfection, slipped her feet into her better geta, and left her office to go to the festival down below.
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